Fran Jacobs's Blog, page 5

New year, same problems.

Well it’s a new year. I had hoped to finish the Children of the Shadow by now, but I’m still struggling with it. Writing is hard. I know what is wrong with it, but not how to fix it. It all concerns the gods, the dark gods, the demons. Working out their nature, and how their worship would follow is surprisingly difficult. Are they all ‘evil?’ Do they all inspire fear? Spirits of nature, that means they have a light side too, right? Nature is, after all, dangerous, but also the source of life. So, how would their festivals be? What form would their worship take? Working it out is actually rather difficult. So i’m not! I’m leaving it alone for the moment and finishing off a faerie story for the collection. Of course, they also have their problems. Many faeries had a penchant for children, they are offered up as a tithe for the devil, they are eaten by water creatures, or drowned. But I’m not sure how well a book of faeries killing children would go down! So I’m trying to come up with alternatives, but still remain true to some of the original aspects of the faerie myth. I’m also trying to have a mix, stories from the faerie’s point of view, stories from the point of view of those who encounter them, and stories that have happy, and sad endings. But so far I only have three, and two of them end rather badly! But I want to get another 4 together, so hopefully i can still find that balance.

So this is where i am. New year, new start, old problems on old projects.

Tagged!

Fellow fantasy writer, Joanne Hall, tagged me in a meme thing, the next big thing, that has been going around, so here are my answers to the questions put to me.

1) What is the working title of your next book/short story/project?

Children of the Shadow.

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

It just popped into my head. I was on the train, can’t remember where I was going, probably home to see parents, and I realised that I needed some sort of wacky cult, and the Children of the Shadow were born. It’s only when writing the book that they have taken real shape and purpose. It certainly wasn’t something that I planned when I wrote the first book the series, the Shadow Seer, but, back then, I had no idea I would have reason to write the entire series. I never really saw beyond that first book.

3) What genre does your book fall under?

Fantasy

4) What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

My dad thinks Johnny Depp for the lead, Candale, but i think that’s all wrong. I’m not sure there is an actor tall and thin enough to play him, though there are certainly many pretty enough . . . I rather like Xavier Samuel, who i saw in the Loved Ones (fab film) He’s pretty, thin, and looks good with curly hair. Not tall enough though. Though, to be honest, I would probably forgo how much they look like characters and just fill the film with actors i like, Tim Roth, Alexander Skarsgard, that sort of thing. Well, it’s my film, why not!

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Candale finds himself stuck in the mountains with a bunch of nuts and has to get away.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

My publisher will print it, I’m hoping! Small print.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

Sadly, I’m still doing i. I started it 18 months ago, perhaps. I spent 6 months trying to write a standalone book, but then realised i really had to get this done and out the way first. And here I am, still trying to get it right. The first book was done in a year, and was a big fat monster of a thing. It’s been harder since then, trying to battle plot lines and a few personal brain issues.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I would most like to compare this to Carol Berg’s Lighthouse Duology and Song of the Beast, as they are my favourite books. But I’m not sure I’m anywhere near her league. I think that, other than my character, Dale, being caught up in stuff that is beyond him, like Valen and Adain, and it being in first person point of view, it’s probably not that similar. But her standard is my aim.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

No one and nothing.  I’m always writing, and I had the first two done so I had to get on with the last one in the series. The beginning of the Shadow Seer was inspired by Hush by Paula Cole, the idea of a boy slowly dying, created images in me that I used. Other parts of the book have been inspired by Asian horror films, their love of creepy girls with long dark hair, and things that I have seen, places I have been. Also, Assassin’s Apprentice, which i was reading at the time of writing, and the idea of having a character who was a prophet, as the fool in that book was. I think they’re under used as characters, though prophecies often exist in fantasy books.

10) What else about the book might pique the reader’s interest?

I hope people will want to read it because they’ve read the first two. I hope they want to read the first two because it is different from other fantasies, it’s not driven by lots of violent action, but by the characters, it features a prophet, a dark prophet, as the main character and it also has some spooky, dark things in it.

Depression, writing and whatnot.

I have depression. I’ve had it on and off in varying degrees for as long as i can remember. I’m 35 now. It’s rather crippling. I’ved been told, before, that being depressed doesn’t stop you cleaning. I’ve heard it doesn’t stop you working. I’m going to tell you, real depression, not just feeling a bit sad, does. it stops you doing anything. it takes all the fun out of life, dwestroys what you enjoyed, leaves you hollow and indifferent. And that’s what stops you cleaning and working and doing anything. You don’t care. The house is full of crap, you don’t care. You don’t have any clean dishes, there are flies and maggots around, you haven’t bathed in weeks, you really don’t care. Sometimes you cry, but that rarely happens for me. It’s mostly that i am SO tired, all the time, that i can’t get out of bed, and when i do, i just sit on the sofa and eat, cos eating in the only way that the day will end. The only way to get through it, back to bed. I’ve had it for years. I had it while writing the Shadow Seer, but i had uni too, and some how that helped get me through it. Now i am alone with it, and so I’m struggling to write. But i am trying, though i fear that I am letting Candale and his friends, and the people who loved the first book, down.

I’m saying this because i think you can see it in my writing, or may be i’m just paranoid. Book 2 was hard for me to write, because of the depression. To me, it lacks something, something of the flow, the warmth, the detail because of that. Book 3 is hard, for the same reason. I wonder if my struggles can be seen by others, in the words, in the pages. But I’m trying, I’m doing my best, even though the thrill, the love, the passion has been eaten by the depression monster.

I am rather tired of him.

 

Signings: a sad state of affairs

So, I have a signing arranged at Swansea Library for the end of the month with fellow fantasy writer Joanne Hall. The library warned me that even though they put up posters, not many people come to these things. But I was prepared to do some promotion myself, made some posters, got some flyers and went to put them out in Oxfam bookshop. They are more than happy to put them out and to let me do a signing there, perhaps. Certainly nicer than the indie bookshop on Uplands who said no, outright. But, like the library, they warned me not many people come, even if they promote. And i find that so sad. As a kid I used to love to go to book signings, to meet authors, and i would read any book on the fantasy shelf. I loved to try new things. But readers today seem to be fussier. Is that because bookshops only stock the main authors, so it’s actually harder to get to know new authors. There are more books available online, of course, but it’s hard to browse. You cant just look for titles and at pretty covers and take it from there, the way you can in a shop. You need to know what you want or have a recomendation. Is this why people don’t come to book signings? Because if they haven’t heard of the book, or had it recomended, they won’t take the chance? But getting someone to hear of your book, to get them to want to read it, that’s a difficult thing too. You can’t just bug people, because that pisses them off. You can’t fake reviews, because that pisses them off AND opens you up to ridicule and a bad reputation. So, what to do? Social networks are all well and good, but you can’t spam them, you need to get to know people, network, talk in groups, give advice, sell yourself, without selling yourself. But that isn’t easy for everyone. I’m not very good at it. I hate twitter and don’t have the patience to give the same general advice over and over on writing forums. It seems that, though technology, social networks, have brought us together with new people and given us more choice, more access to things we wouldn’t have had otherwise, it also creates more of a crowd, which is harder to stand out from. So, im trying real world promotion, discount flyers, posters, as well as online. I’ll find out end of the month if my promotion has paid off.

I really hope it does

Bristol Con: Sales and my reading!

Well, we missed the train and arrived a little later than we wanted and the day didn’t go too well from there. We only sold three books and only five people sat in on my reading.

BUT i enjoyed myself. The reading was fun to do, though scarey, and i want to do one again next year! And, watching a guy at work nearby, i realised i need to be more forceful. His book was more expensive, and self published, but he sold more copies cos he grabbed everyone who walked in. Granted, my table was half hidden by his giant poster, and tucked into the corner, but grabbing people is the way to go i think! I did meet someone who is doing an expo in Cardiff in March, though, which I will now be attending, so it wasn’t a complete disaster.

All in all, i had fun, which is the most important thing. But clearly i need to push more if i want to make millions this way!

Pain and a beginning

Well i have  a trapped nerve, and as of yet, still no books, so I can’t do a panel at Bristol Con after all, though i will still do a reading. Hurts too much to sit still for too long and I’m not inspired enough to give a book justice or put other books down as they deserve! So that’s a shame and a pain, rather literally.But hopefully i can put the pain to good use in some written way . . .

Anyway, still having some trouble getting the ritual/festival part of book 3 sorted. So i fiddled with the start instead. And as I’ve never shared the beginning, here it is, the beginning of book 3, Children of the Shadow. No real spoilers i think for book 2, so you’re all right to read it

THE ROAD TO THE MOUNTAINS

The ground below me was always hard. Sometimes it was rough and would rumble along, rocking my body from side to side, with the occasion sudden jolt that would make my head thump on the ground before jarring my entire body. Always there was the sound of thunder, with the ground moving. A distant rumble that sounded beneath my head. Something heavy lay over me all of the time, smelling of animals. At times I felt like I was suffocating, drowning in that rich, musty smell. But at others, when I heard the harsh voices, unfamiliar and terrifying, like the voices of giants, sounding near to me, then I would burrow into those heavy covers, wrap myself in the musty smell and hope that the voices didn’t come near to me. Nothing good ever happened when they came near to me.

At other times the ground was smooth, thick, but I could feel something beneath it that was uneven. Still that musty smell was with me, thick and heavy, covering me, pinning me down. Though my mind was fogged, heavy, my thoughts slipping and sliding away from me as I tried to shape them, a part of me had come to understand that this time, when the ground was smooth, was the dangerous time. The time when the owners of those voices would come to me, when they would hold me up and force something down my throat. Sometimes it was hot, sometimes it was cold, always liquid and always leaving me to feel as though I was drowning. Sometimes I would choke, cough, and try to move the heavy parts of me that I could vaguely feel attached somewhere. Once those parts had worked well, letting me move where I wanted, how I wanted. But now they just seemed to flail around, on the edge of my vision, useless heavy lumps that wouldn’t work at all.

Always these encounters ended the same way. A rough hand over my mouth, the smell of something sweet and heavy, which flowed through me, bring with it a darkness so total and complete it was as though I was dead.

“Candale. Candale!” The voice in the blackness was strangely urgent and insistent and, with it, I was vaguely aware of a hand on my shoulder, shaking me, trying to stir me awake. But a part of me knew that being awake was loud and scary and it hurt. I rather stay in the darkness.

But then my body was moving beyond my control, the darkness rolling backwards, as I was pulled up to my feet and supported by two strong arms and, against my best efforts, the waking world slammed back around me.

Noise. A roar. It was all around me and it took a moment before I could separate the sounds, identify them as screams and shouts, the whiny of horses, the clash of metal against metal and pop and crackle of a fire. But I couldn’t understand them. It was usually so quiet, nothing but that familiar rumble or those harsh voices. Never this much noise, enough to make my, already, aching head want to split.

And then, as I was dragged forward, light and movement and smells joined the noise. Shadowy figures were moving all around us, the source of the shouts and screams, and swords glinted and reflected the dozens of fires that were burning all around us. The smoke was thick, it stung my eyes and set them to watering, and made it hard to breathe. I started to cough and the movement set a lance of white pain shooting through my already pounding skull. My vision was swallowed in a flurry of bright stars and spots and my legs collapsed beneath me. But I didn’t fall, the arms supporting me held me firm and continued to drag me through the roar of noise. Panic gripped me and I tried to pull free, to back away from the chaos all around me, but the arms held tight and continued to carry me on.

“Wait . . .” I managed to gasp, despite my dry mouth and thick tongue and a brain heavy with fog.

“We can’t,” said a male voice, the owner of the arms to my left. “We need to get you out of here, to safety.”

Safety. A magical word, one I had dreamed of, in the clearer moments of my captivity, one that meant freedom and warmth, my friends, my family, my home. Just hearing it made my legs feel weak and I nearly collapsed again this time from relief. Thankfully the arms were still there, holding me.

“Sorry,” I whispered, and forced myself to focus, to scramble for the elusive words. “Drugged. Been drugged.”

“It’s all right,” said the same man again. “We don’t have far to go.”

It might not have been far, but it certainly felt that way to my aching head and dead weight body. By the time we reached our destination, a group of horses standing still within earshot of the roar of sound coming from the camp, I was more dragged than walking. They had to lift me onto the back of a horse and, when the man who had spoken to me swung up in the saddle in front of me, I found it so difficult to keep my head upright that I pressed it to his lean back. For a moment I was still and the pain was eased, just a little, by that support.

And then the horse lurched into movement beneath me and we took off, galloping into the night. I tightened my grip, squeezed shut my eyes and prayed that I wouldn’t be sick.

Bristol Con, reading out loud and favourite books

Well Bristol Con is next saturday!!! And at this moment I still haven’t received my book order, so i have nothing to sell, which is a little worrying! I will be doing a reading from the Shadow Seer, and sitting on a panel to discuss my favourite book, also worrying! I have never done a reading before and it’s a scarey thought. What if people don’t like it? What if i pronounce my own characters names wrong and sound a tit? What if i read too fast? I have chosen what i hope is a dramatic bit, Candale’s attack in the Square Garden, and practiced to make sure that it’s the right length, but still, it’s all a bit scarey.

And my favourite book? It’s hard to narrow it down. There are lots in the, i enjoyed this but it’s just ok, pile, and a few in the, this was great I’m going to reread it lots, pile, but favourite? best of the best? That’s a lot harder. I’ve gone with Flesh and Spirit, by Carol Berg. First of the lighthouse duology. I’m rereading it for the fourth time maybe, and it’s something i can say a lot about. It has faeries, conspiracies, crazy people, magic, a world that is falling apart, and a hero who is rather likeable, fanciable even.Valen. A rogue, just looking for somewhere warm to stay for the winter, who ends up caught in all sorts of trouble. Berg is certainly one of my favourite writers, along with Lewis Carroll. Her world’s are varied, her characters are as well, although they all seem to be tortured, physically, in some way. And though there are a few books that i don’t care for particularly, the ones that i do like, I come back to time and again.

So, I’m sorted, other than the missing books, and working onwards with my own. Shaping a festival, including some mad prophets, but still looking for the right end . . .

October

Well it appears to be October. Most of the year is gone and Bristol Con is in two weeks (just under) I’m still waiting on book stock to appear, so that’s a little nerve wracking, but also facing the end of the year without anything finished, which is just depressing.

So, I have set myself the aim of finishing book 3, the Children of the Shadow, in rough, by the end of the year. That’s first rough draft. And to finish the whole thing, properly and fully, by my birthday in May. Sadly, this is a target i set myself for this year, and clearly didn’t meet, but I have more reason to do it, as ideas are forming for my new book and i can’t do that at all until this is done. Would also like to finish my short story collection by end of year, too.

So, there we are. Most of the Children of Shadow is done. The main bulk. I have gaps to fill, still, and an end to put on. The problem is, i keep fiddling with bits. At the moment I’m working on a festival. A festival i had done. A festival that could have waited until the whole thing was done. Perhaps i just don’t’ want to finish, really, because i worry about its standard, or because I’m not ready to leave Candale and his friends. I have been with them for 8 years, or so, so it will be a hard thing to leave. But Sylan, the hero of my new series, and his cats, have a tale (or tail) to tell as well. And I may have another story for Candale, in the future, I can’t rule it out, so it doesn’t have to be a goodbye.

Or so I tell myself.

Ideas.

Ideas. They come from random places. While listening to Paula Cole’s Hush, about a gay boy dying of aids, I got the start of the Shadow Seer. And while watching Sky’s Sinbad, I have ideas for expanding and excitifying my Forest of Ghosts, (though the title is now the City of Ghosts) sadly, I have two projects to finish before I can get on with that. But when I do there will be an abandon city and more ghosts than you can shake a stick at, not to mention the zombie ghost type creatures, and plenty of cats.

As it stands those other projects are moving slowly, due to my love of procrastination. The Children of the Shadow is on hold until i finish my faerie short story for the collection. But then I’m going to push on and finish it. Target is the end of the year, but as previous targets have been May and my holiday in September, who knows if i will do it! When i do a little robot necklace will be my reward. So if i want that necklace, and if i want to write my new project, with all its cats, I’d better stop writing this and get on with it!

Before then, Bristol Con, less than a month. Books are ordered, but until they come I can’t order flyers or poster, so it’s all a little last minute stress. Nothing new there though!

Chester: future inspiration and some idea gathering

Just returned from a holiday in Chester with the parentals. It’s a gorgeous city, old buildings (tho not all medieval as they appear, some are Victorian) haunted, and with a roman amphitheater. there is also a zoo fairly near by. All in all, a great place and a fountain of inspiring ideas. The Forest of Ghosts will be featuring some of the gorgeous buildings, with their half timbered fronts, carvings, black framed windows and ‘the rows,’ a series of shops above shops, with outside streets to access them. It will also have a zoo, i think, although whether my hero, Sylan, will get to visit it, I’m not sure yet. Certainly i may use some of the ghost stories i heard on the ghost tour. I think that using real places, real things, and making them your own can make a book more vivid, more real, and means i can use photos to create a gallery of that world to help show what i mean.

Sitting on the train to Chester I managed to get a couple of ideas together for my faerie short story collection, which is what I’m working on at the moment, just to give me a break from Dale’s saga for a while. Currently I’m working on Seven Years, which is about the creation of a witch. But i have stories in mind featuring Jenny Greenteeth, and another with one of the hellhounds. We shall what will become of it.