Chandra Ryan's Blog, page 3

What I Did Over the Summer

I can’t believe school starts next week. And I can’t believe my baby starts Kindergarten. I’ve known this day was coming for some time. And I’m really excited about it. But we just had such a fantastic summer, the time has flown by.

We went to Cincinnati Ohio for my first ever conference, to Chicago to visit a friend eat hot dogs and swim at a beach, Indianapolis to visit the children’s museum, and to the local pool more times than I can count. My youngest had his very best friend over to say goodbye before he, the friend, moved across the country. We had a sleep over with the nieces. We went to see Toy Story 3, Last Airbender, and they went to see Sorcerer’s apprentice last weekend. I visited my home town twice and ate at the pizza place where my husband I met both times (which is a lot for me seeing as I don’t make it back to my home town at all some years). Oh, and I submitted my first ever completed novel. That was just last week though so I’m not expecting to hear anything back anytime soon.

Yeah, it’s been a fun summer, but I think I’m ready for school. I think I’m ready to have a quiet house. And I think I’m ready for my baby to be a Kindergartener J

Beautiful vs. Sexy

So, on Facebook, I’ve seen several posts lately that’ve made me stop and think. They start out with something along the lines of: Look for a man who finds you beautiful not sexy. Then they go on into a list of actions or qualities that make a man the ‘perfect’ type man. And every time I read one I have the same question. What makes beautiful better than sexy?

My first reaction was that sexy, being more of a physical attribute, somehow objectifies the woman. But, as I thought about it more, I realized that there are thousands of things that people find sexy that have nothing to do with appearance. Like I love to watch sci-fi and sports. Some men find that sexy in a female, but it has nothing to do what I look like. So why is sexy wrong?

Now, I don’t usually obsess over silly Facebook posts, but as I kept seeing this message repeated and rephrased it kept digging at me. So I started going through examples of what I’d find ‘sexy’ and what would be ‘beautiful’. And the main difference between the words I came up with is that ‘sexy’, to me, implies some level of arousal where as ‘beauty’ doesn’t necessarily.

Men on motorcycles are sexy. A dress hanging in the store is beautiful. A verse from a poetry book is beautiful. Tattoos are sexy. But that only left me more confused. Why wouldn’t you want your mate to find you arousing? I’m not sure I’ll ever have this one figured out. Maybe you can help me to understand. Why should I wait for a guy who calls me beautiful instead of falling for one who finds me sexy?

Karma and Answered Prayers

My mother always told me to be careful with my prayers. Some things, she'd tell me, can only be given through work and sacrifice. Like patience. It can't be given. It can only be strengthened by working through trials that test it. I knew she was right. And I'd pray anyway. 'Cause I really need to work on my patience. And, as I think any of my writer friends can attest to, I fell into a line of work that's giving me plenty of trials and tests to strengthen that virtue :)
I think the same can be said about Karma. I'm a firm believer that you reap what you sow in life. Not only that, but that you find what you're looking for. The trick is knowing what you're asking from the universe. Just because you tell yourself you want a peaceful life, doesn't mean that's what you're actions are telling the cosmos you desire. And sometimes, just as with patience, some things can't just be given, they have to be worked for.
I used peace because that's what I'm searching for. What I realized this week was I wasn't really working for it. There are certain people in my life that I allow to bait me. But I didn't realize this was a problem because I rarely ever rose to the bait. I'd just ignore their taunts. Or, at least, I'd ignore them publicly. In my heart, I'd still let them dig at me. I was giving the illusion of peace without really living it.
I'm not sure how you get past the sting of an insult. I'm not sure how you really truly let some comments go. I mean, I know intellectually that you accept some people aren't going to like you and don't give their words weight. It's the emotional aspect I'm having a hard time with. I'd like to think this post is the first step. Knowing I have to let go of the anger and resentment if I'm going to find peace. Something tells me meditation and limited time with those who are baiting will be the second. The third? I'm not sure yet. Hopefully it'll come to me when I'm ready for it.

I'm Guest Blogging

Hey everyone. I'm over at Leah's house today. If you want to come visit (and enter to win a copy of Dragonborne) here's the link: http://leahbraemel.blogspot.com/2010/05/chandra-ryans-taking-leap-of-faith.html