Barbara Carrellas's Blog, page 2

Catherine Carter: 7 November 1961 – 8 April 2019: A Tribute

I am celebrating the life of my dear friend and original Urban Tantra co-conspirator, Catherine Carter, who died of a brain tumor on 8 April after living a huge, love-filled life and an equally huge, love-filled death, surround by countless expressions of love and devotion from near and far.

Cath was one of the founders of Urban Tantra. Hayley Caspers brought her onto the team back in the early 90’s when the team was just Chester Mainard, Hayley and me. Yamini, Cyndi Darnell and Jenny Navarro joined soon after and we became family—bonded by a love of transcendent, grounded, sacred silliness, and a willingness to show up everywhere and anywhere a group might gather to join us in our mad, passionate quest to know the secrets that revealed themselves in the throes of erotic trance.

Cath was the bedrock of our support system. Cath was there when a dozen massage table had to be schlepped across Australia and set up on a day’s notice. She was there to lead the sweep up after a weekend of people flinging cornflour all over each other. She was there at stupid o’clock in the morning or in the middle of the night when a participant needed support processing a suddenly triggered trauma or a life-altering revelation. She was there to listen and advise Chester and me in the midst of an intensive workshop when we were so far out on a limb that we couldn’t find our way out of the trees. She was there to channel the rage and grief of the Maori ancestors after the Tasmanian massacre. She was always there. Solid, strong, shining.

Cath was there when I wanted to spend my 50th birthday retracing the steps of the queens of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Cath, Hayley, Kate and I drove 2,730 km from Adelaide to Alice Springs in a camper van decorated by Cath with boas and glitter and goddesses, stopping each night to celebrate the great Australian night sky (and be gifted with one of Cath’s brilliant astrology readings,) and waking each morning to a birthday ritual that Cath had prepared especially for me.

Today I celebrate with tears and joy the reunion of Catherine Carter with her soulmate, Chester Mainard. They were such twin flames that it doesn’t even surprise me all that much that they both died of the same cancer (glioblastomas), twelve years apart. Their relationship sometimes confused them, but it was never confusing to those of us who knew and loved them. They were twin spirits. My theory is that they were one soul energy that divided into two for this past incarnation. They were born on opposite sides of the world but with one intention—to spread joy, healing, and spiritual growth through pleasure and conscious sexuality. They both often hid their genius, but never their spirits, their love and their wisdom, which was as ancient as the ancestors they channelled.

Thank you, Cath, my beloved friend, for all your years of love and service. Thank you for being earth and soul family. Thank you for all those death lessons—both decades ago and in these past two years. Thank you for all the life lessons, too. Please give Cheeky Chester a kiss from me. Till we meet again…

 

Women, Sex & Power: A Symposium

On Friday, 12 October, I’m hosting a live panel discussion on Women, Sex and Power at the New York Open Center.

For this Symposium, I’ve called together a group of the most intelligent, radical, and informed experts working at the intersection of sexuality, politics, and power. Together, we’re going to explore the current climate of sexual politics, sexual freedom, pleasure and power that women in today’s world are facing.

The #MeToo movement and the Women’s Marches have given rise to a new era for women, filled with new possibilities for sexual and political empowerment. But what exactly do sexual and political empowerment look like? It depends on who you ask. Not all women have the same needs, priorities, or goals.

I believe that as free thinkers, and erotic explorers, and agents of our own sexual power, the more deeply we can engage with and question our collective sexual landscape, the more sexual freedom we can consciously create for all.

Women, Sex & Power brings together a panel of brave, visionary women from different racial, cultural, social and professional backgrounds to share their visions for this new era.

Panelists include:

Alia Adams is a trans woman of color. She was born in Uganda and fled the country in 2015 after the president of Uganda signed the Anti-Homosexual Act. Having been outed by a local tabloid for being transgender, she was forced to flee for her safety. She currently lives in Albany, NY, where she works as a patient care associate. Alia is also a sex worker rights activist, human rights activist and queer feminist.

Diana Adams is Principal of Diana Adams Law & Mediation, PLLC, a boutique LGBTQ family law and mediation firm based in New York City and Frankfurt, Germany, serving primarily same-sex couples, polyamorous and non-nuclear families. Diana speaks internationally as a thought leader on LGBTQ family law and evolving family structure. Diana also teaches Courageous Conversations, her program on empowered communication, Non-Violent Communication and dispute resolution, in diverse venues such as Yale, law schools, Omega Women’s Leadership Center, and corporate trainings. Diana is the Director of the Euro LGBT Family Law Institute, connecting leaders in LGBTQ family law internationally. Follow her on twitter or Facebook @DianaAdamsEsq www.DianaAdamsLaw.net; www.CourageousConversations.Work

Zahava Griss (Z, pronouns: they/them) is a dancer, coach, kink educator, and author. Z directs Do Good Things with Power, a leadership immersion for facilitators transforming our culture of intimacy. Z has supported many people’s empowerment as they navigate sexuality, gender, race, and conscious power dynamics including guiding women’s circles for 15 years. Z focuses on inclusivity in sexuality, somatic, and dance communities. Z leads erotic grief rituals to enliven us, remind us who we are, what we want, who we come from and what we want to contribute to the world we desire, while seeing humanity as our team. www.EmbodyMoreLove.com.

Mollena Lee Williams-Haas is a NYC born and raised writer, actress, BDSM Educator, Storyteller, sobriety fiend since March 14th 2007, and an Award-Winning Executive Pervert. Her opinion and viewpoints on issues of kink, Leather and BDSM are frequently sought after by news and information sources like The New York Times, The Huffington Post, Newsweek, Essence, and Ebony. Consciously kinky since 1993and active in leather and BDSM since 1996, she travels extensively, speaking on topics including kink, BDSM, power exchange relationships and negotiating it all safely. She’s the co-author of the Toy bag Guide: Taboo Play and Playing Well With Others: Your Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities. www.mollena.com.

Please join me for this powerful and important discussion. Get your tickets here.

Women, Sex & Power: A Symposium

The New York Open Center

Friday, 12 October

7pm – 10pm

Members $35/ Nonmembers $40

Happy Solstice

The solstices are my favorite holidays, probably because they are celebrations of the sun—my favorite celestial body. I’m in New York right now and we are having the first really hot summer days of the many yet to come. The long days and the short nights energize my spirit and light a fire under my creative juices. This month I’ve been spending a lot of time in video conversations with my Australian friends, which means that I’m also acutely away of how dark and cold it is in the Southern Hemisphere.

The contrast between the constant stream of hideous news about the actions of the openly hostile, cruel and reactionary American government, and the beauty of New York in June has me thinking about what we humans can learn from simply observing what happens on the Solstices.

Solstices show us that our entire planet is based upon sharing resources—in this case, the sun—and trusting that we will always have enough sunlight, even if temporarily, someone else has more. We share the sun and it’s light and energy with everyone else on the planet. Some months, the north gets more and the south less. Then it’s the south’s turn for heat and light, while the north patiently awaits it next season of warm weather and sunshine. Sharing. Trusting. Knowing that when the sun goes to nourish my friends in the south, there will still be enough for me to thrive throughout the winter. Being assured by experience that in a few months the sun will come back warm and strong to delight me once again.

This Solstice, I’d like us to remember that whether the sun is shining brightly in your life at the moment, or whether life has been pretty dark and cold lately, this too will pass. My invitation to you is to look at someplace in your life where you have an abundance of something—it could be money, food, friends, happiness, love, creativity, time, laughter, hope, health, passion, political power, activist skills or something else entirely—and share some of it with someone whose sun is shining less brightly right now. This does not have to be a huge effort. It can be just reaching out to one person. If we all do this, we can shift global consciousness out of fear, lack and retreat and into trust, abundance and love.

Share the sunlight. Spread love not fear.

Happy Solstice.

Are Your Ready To Explore More?

Where can you go to engage in deep, meaningful conversations about love, pleasure, bodies, pop culture, and empathy?

I’m always looking for important and relevant events and conversations to share with you. This is one of those things!

Explore More Summit is a free online conference that I adore. It’s a place where we can ask big questions, find ways to get unstuck, and have fun while we do it.

It kicks off on April 23, 2018 and runs for ten days, entirely online. You can check out the speaker line-up at exploremoresummit.com.

Each day, several hour-long video interviews will be available for you to watch.

Even better? If you register before the summit starts, you’ll also get a free mini workbook each day of the summit full of prompts, questions, and exercises designed to help you reflect on your own story, needs, and desires.

From pleasure and pop culture, kink to self-acceptance, boundaries to comedy, this is a rich, intimate event and I am really excited to share it with you.

Plus, you can’t beat free.

There’s also a private Facebook group where you can talk to other participants, answer daily questions, and interact with some of the summit experts.

I would love to see you there.

These interviews are the kind of thing you’ll want to talk about and revisit over and over again – so share this with your friends and family, too.

See you at the summit!

Ecstatically Yours,

Barbara

PS – If you’re as busy as I am, ten days might seem like a lot. Don’t worry about trying to fit it all in. You can take the talks home to watch and re-watch at your leisure AND get some fabulous bonuses, too.

Serving a community in need…

I created Urban Tantra to serve a community that was desperately in need. I wanted, or rather needed, to create a safe space for my brothers during the AIDS crisis so that they could, once again, experience an ecstatic expression of life in a safe and supportive container.

It was through Tantra that I became revitalized and empowered during this time of great grief. I could keep going, keep learning, keep teaching, and then bring my new skills back to my community. It shifted everything—my mindset, my career, my relationship to healing. It was huge!!

It changed my life.

That was 30 years ago. Today, Urban Tantra stays true to those roots.

My main goal in creating the Urban Tantra Professional Training Program was to facilitate the teaching of these profound skills so that lives and relationships around the globe can be changed by this work.

I’m dedicated to the expansion of this work. My mission is to give skills, training, and support to facilitators, practitioners, educators, healers, and leaders who serve communities and clients who are the most in need, underserved, at risk, and disconnected from the tools and knowledge of conscious sexuality. I love nothing more than to see the ripple of transformation grow.

Here is what The Urban Tantra Training Program is all about:

Tangible Transformation

Accessible language, novel skills, and no dogma!

I want you to walk away from the training able to create real change in your professional endeavors, no matter what your job entails. You’ll be given the tools to strengthen your unique talents, and make a bigger impact in your community and in the world

Palpable Possibilities

Facilitated ecstatic experience, embodied learning opportunities, and plenty of processing time.

This program is a place for visioning, exploring, nourishing, and playing with various aspects of Tantra, sacred sexuality, sex education, and business to gain a deep understanding of the variety of directions that this work can support your larger goals.

Better Boundaries, Ethics, & Consent

At it’s core, Urban Tantra was built on a foundation of safer sex principles, sexual ethics, and clear boundaries.

As leaders in the field of sexuality and intimacy, we must strive to be impeccable with our practices of boundaries and consent. We need to learn and practices these skills ourselves, create space for conversations about ethics and accountability, and be able to clearly communicate these teachings to our communities for the sexual empowerment and sexual freedom of all.

Community Connection

Global reach, continued support, and unique avenues for growth.

I want you to succeed, but more importantly, I want you to succeed in your own way. I’ve graduated students from this program for over 8 years, and each one has a brilliantly unique way of engaging with Urban Tantra. Each generation of graduates gets connected with the larger community, their wisdom, and their resources. It truly is a diverse group of change agents, leaders, experts, and explorers!

The Urban Tantra Professional Training Program

24-29 July, 2018 in Greenwich, New York

Find out more about the training here.

Ready to Register?

Click here to schedule your Urban Tantra Interview Call with our Program Coordinator .

I hope to see you there.

So You Say You Want a Revolution: Introduction to the New Edition of Urban Tantra

As I began the first draft of the first edition of Urban Tantra, I wrote, “I want a revolution!” Not only did I want a revolution in cultural attitudes about sexuality and spirituality, I wanted a revolution in Tantra: the only spiritual practice I’d ever found that welcomed sexuality as a path to spiritual freedom. I wanted that revolution. Then and there.

Now it’s eleven years later, and that revolution is well under way. I looked around the graduation circle at my most recent Urban Tantra Professional Training Program, and saw: a transgender professional dominatrix, a cisgender male medical doctor, a gay male sacred intimate, a nurse, an escort, a relationship coach, a social worker working with indigenous peoples, several sex educators, several more Tantra teachers, two yoga instructors, a performance artist, and an ordained minister. One-third of the group were people of color. We ranged in ages from early twenties to late sixties. We loved, cried, howled with laughter, felt deeply, experienced life-changing “ah-hah” moments, and supported and shared love with each other for an entire week. These were beautiful, brave, passionate explorers—and now they were my colleagues and friends. I initially wrote Urban Tantra because it was the book I had always wanted to read but could never find. I knew there were fierce, loving, spiritually minded, erotically focused people in the world who wanted that book, too. I wanted to meet them. To play with them. To work with them. To learn from them. And here they were. I wrote it, and they came. My dream come true.

So many of my Urban Tantric dreams have come true since 2007. The phrase conscious sexuality is now common. Sacred sex has expanded to embrace all sorts of different beliefs and practices. The field of sexuality education has exploded, providing resources to people of all races, religions, and cultural backgrounds. BDSM was taken off the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders list as of 2013, making it a consensual choice, not a mental illness. Non-monogamous relationships came out of the closet and invited us all to take a fresh look at how we create and maintain relationships. And then there was gender. Oh my! In recent years, the twin explosions of gender identities and trans rights initiatives have changed everything, opening a box of unlimited gender opportunities that can never be closed. Today, Urban Tantra is a global movement. The Urban Tantra Professional Training Program alone has graduated hundreds of practitioners from twenty-six countries, and they, in turn, are taking the practice into corners of the world I’d never dreamed it would go.

I got my revolution. Big time.

Now that we’re post-revolution, it’s time for Urban Tantra to grow into a new era. I’ve made revisions, updates, and additions to this edition, not only to bring Urban Tantra up to date, but also to cast my gaze toward the future. I have always regarded Urban Tantra as an ever-evolving practice. Where might we go next? What might Urban Tantra become next? This revised edition is a step into that future.

EXPANDED COMMUNITY

As often happens in revolutions, when someone raises a flag, everyone else who’s been longing for a revolution runs over to introduce themselves and ask how they can help. That’s just what happened in 2007, when the first edition of Urban Tantra was published. Everyone who had felt shut out of other schools of Tantra discovered a flag under which they could rally. We first gathered online and then in person—from all around the world.

In this revised edition, I’m extending an invitation to even more inclusivity. I offer practices and suggestions for people in multi-partner relationships. The number of people openly practicing consensual non-monogamy has grown enormously. Over the past decade, I’ve developed Tantra workshops for triads, quads, and more. In this edition, I suggest ways in which partner Tantra can include more than one partner.

Many schools of Tantra have become more inclusive, and so groups of people with common interests and identities have formed their own Tantric groups or incorporated Tantric principles and practices into existing organizations and schools of thought. Gay Tantra, Dark Tantra, Pagan Tantra, Queer Tantra, and Women’s Tantra are just a few of the new flavors of Tantra. I find inspiration in the many creative expressions of Tantra blooming around the planet and I hope this new edition of Urban Tantra can, in turn, inspire them.

I have also been inspired by the rise of the asexuality movement. An asexual is someone who either does not experience sexual attraction, or experiences attraction, but feels no need to act out that attraction sexually. Lack of sexual interest and/or desire is commonly pathologized in our culture. I applaud asexuals and aromantics (people who experience little or no romantic attraction to others) for refusing to be pathologized. And it turns out that an increasing number of asexuals and aromantics are becoming drawn to Tantra. In this edition, I point out practices that allow people with different sexual and romantic affinities to find ways of relating, running energy, and creating connection and intimacy that do not have to include sex and/or romance.

TANTRA AND BDSM

The relationship between Tantra and BDSM—considered radical and heretical when I first wrote about it—is now common practice. The explosion caused by the book Fifty Shades of Grey catapulted BDSM above ground and into the middle class. Those BDSM practitioners who had always played with a Tantric touch now had a name for the energy play they had long enjoyed. Tantrikas who liked things a little more physically or emotionally intense had permission to go there. Some Tantric practitioners are now combining elements of power and intense sensation with traditional Tantra in a variation sometimes referred to as Dark Tantra. Longtime BDSM players are coming out of the closet as spiritual seekers and creating scenes intentionally designed to welcome god/goddess/universe/all-that-is into their dungeons. Communities in which kinky people and Tantrikas meet, mingle, and play together are growing and can now be found all over the world.

Tantric sex and BDSM have much more in common than may seem apparent at first glance. Both are erotic arts of consciousness. Both arts add intensity to life and sex. Both embrace a wide variety of powerful consensual practices. Both Tantric and BDSM rituals are about raising erotic energy. Both practices involve conscious giving and receiving. Both encourage risks—either physical or emotional. Both erotic arts encourage personal freedom, individuality, and imagination. And both produce trance states, and transcendental, transformational experiences. In this edition, I provide a larger toolkit for those who wish to explore this intersection.

GENDER REVOLUTION

Everything about how we look and talk about gender has changed. When I wrote the first edition of Urban Tantra, I wanted to use they instead of he as the gender-neutral pronoun, but my editors (justifiably) felt the general public would find that confusing or grammatically incorrect, so I wrote around the problem by using gender-neutral names instead of pronouns, switching between he and she, and using s/he. During the editing of this revised book, the subject was not even raised. Now most English dictionaries include they as a third-person singular gender-neutral pronoun.

The language of gender is changing so rapidly that by the time you read this I’m quite sure it will have evolved to name new aspects, or new understandings, of gender. This necessitates a new mindfulness in using this evolving language of both sex and gender. As I remind people in both my workshops and my books, defining our terms before we speak or write is critical to accurately communicating our feelings, identities, and desires. In that spirit, here are my definitions for the gender-related terms I’ll be using:

• Cisgender (or cis) is a person whose gender identity matches up with the sex they were assigned at birth.

• Transgender, at this writing, refers to a man, a woman, a boy, or a girl who has transitioned from another gender. As recently as a few years ago, transgender was a term inclusive of anyone who was messing around with gender. That inclusive term is now trans.

• Trans, at this writing, is an inclusive term for anyone whose gender is in any way at odds with cultural norms for gender. This includes nonbinary, genderqueer, and gender-nonconforming people.

• Nonbinary, genderqueer, and gender-nonconforming refer to people whose gender identities and expressions are neither, both, or other than male or female.

In this edition, I am offering more Tantric erotic possibilities for both transpeople and the people who love them. When I wrote the first edition of Urban Tantra, I titled my Erotic Awakening Massages as being for “People with Pussies” and “People with Penises,” instead of for women and men. I wanted people to understand that not all people who identified as women had pussies and not all people who identified as men had penises. Now, as more and more people understand that genitals do not equal gender, it’s the perfect time to be more explicitly trans-inclusive by introducing my new chapter, Erotic Awakening Massage for Trans and Gender-Nonconforming People—an erotic/spiritual adventure based on the knowledge that all erotic tissue is simply the same Jell-O poured into different molds.

EVER-EVOLVING TANTRA

The word Tantra is, alas, now virtually synonymous with sex in mainstream Western culture. Although I have tried to keep focus on the larger spiritual practice, I want to honor and support people’s profound need for a spiritual practice that embraces sexuality. In chapter 1, I take a more nuanced view of the nature and history of Tantra and its evolution into a modern Western sacred sexuality practice.

When Urban Tantra was first published, my primary intention was to create a Tantric practice that welcomed people of all genders, races, abilities, sexual preferences, and spiritual beliefs. I wanted a school of Tantra that was down-to-earth, fun, accessible, and transformative. I also wanted to expand the boundaries of what Tantra was and could be. In the ensuing years, I’ve watched people experience countless emotional and physical healing miracles through their personal Tantric practices. Today, I’m asking, how can the practice of Urban Tantra heal not only ourselves, but also our world? How can we be of service? What else is possible at the intersection of spirit and sex? How can Tantra—and specifically Urban Tantra—not only inspire people to become their best selves but also to create change in the world for the benefit of others? Part 5 of this new edition, Tantra: The Next Dimension, points us toward that future. I invite us all to use the Tantra-related art of sex magic to create our own personal brand of sexually and spiritually fueled social activism.

Whether you have been on the Urban Tantric path since the first edition of the book was published or you are just beginning your journey with us, welcome. It is my fondest hope that this new edition of Urban Tantra inspires you to create your own flavor of spiritually infused sexuality, and/or erotically infused spirituality. You could call that practice Tantra, sacred sex, conscious sexuality, erotic spirituality, or sacred kink. I call it simply, How I Love.

Buy the New Edition of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century at:

Amazon USA (Paperback)

Amazon USA (Kindle)

Barnes and Noble (Paperback and Nook)

Available for Pre-Order Today (ships 12 December, just in time for the holidays!):

Amazon UK (Paperback and Kindle)

Penguin Australia (Paperback)

Urban Tantra: The New Revised Second Edition Is Here!

Look what just arrived! My advance copy of the revised, expanded, 10th anniversary edition of Urban Tantra! It’s available for preorder now and will ship on 21 November—just in time for a sexy long Thanksgiving weekend in the U.S. Check it out: http://amzn.to/2lJWtd8

Urban Tantra: The New Revised Second Edition Is Here!

Look what just arrived! My advance copy of the revised, expanded, 10th anniversary edition of Urban Tantra! It’s available for preorder now and will ship on 21 November—just in time for a sexy long Thanksgiving weekend in the U.S. Check it out: http://amzn.to/2lJWtd8

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This post, Urban Tantra: The New Revised Second Edition Is Here! originally appeared on Barbara Carrellas/Urban Tantra® on November 4, 2017. Tweet This Post!

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Change Your Mood? Change Your Breath!

Today, I want to share with you a 5-minute tool that has the power to totally transform your day. You can use it anytime, anywhere, and as much as you want. It's my favorite way to recharge, gain perspective, and build erotic energy. It’s Breath!

Breath is powerful. It can produce so much extraordinary pleasure it will amaze you. Once you become familiar with moving erotic energy around on your breath, you’ll find all your erotic encounters to be much more fulfilling. Your orgasms will be longer and deeper. Eventually you’ll find yourself using breath techniques in non-erotic situations to bring erotic energy to more and more areas of your life.

Let me give you an example of how changing the way you breathe can change the way you feel. 

(1) Sit comfortably.

(2) You’re going to yawn. A yawn is your body’s way of asking for more air. More air means more aliveness. The next time someone yawns while you’re talking, don’t be offended; thank them. It means that they’re trying to be more present and alive for what you are saying.

(3) Yawn. Try it. Let a really big yawn happen to you.

Fake it until you feel it, but do not force it. Come as close as you can to a really big yawn.

(4) Feel how the yawn opens the back of your throat and stretches out your whole mouth and face? That’s the feeling of openness you want. 

(5) Now, breathe. Let your mouth fall open slightly. Relax your jaw and face, open the back of your throat and breathe in through your mouth, gently but fully. 

(6) Exhale. Don’t push the breath out; just let it fall out with a gentle little sigh, ahhh.

(7) Take in a much air as you can, as effortlessly as you can, then let it go.

(8) Keep breathing. Continue for three minutes.

(9) Notice how you are feeling.

Do you feel any different from when you started?

Are you a little dizzy now? Lightheaded? Spacey? Relaxed? Weird?

Do you feel good? Or not?

If the breath made you a little lightheaded, did that worry you? There’s no need for concern. Couldn’t you benefit from being a little lighter in the head? I know I could. 

Changing the way you breathe produces a perceptible change in consciousness. It’s a physical reality. So, changing the way you breathe changes the way you feel. Sometimes it makes you feel out of control. Most of us walk around in this world trying to maintain total control over our bodies, to the extent that we have reduced our breathing to a level just deep enough to keep us going. It’s not just an individual choice—it’s cultural. Imagine this: You’re going to work one morning and just like always, you step into the crowded elevator. The door closes. But this morning someone in the rear of the car takes a huge deep breath and exhales with a loud AHHH! What do you think? What might everyone else think? Would that breath seem strange and out of place? Why? In response to a sex-negative, body-shy culture, we have reduced our breathing to a survival level. We take in just enough air to stay alive. 

We unconsciously hold our breath many times each day. In fact, holding our breath is usually the first thing we do when we don’t want to lose control of some situation. It’s part of a reflex we all seem to have that causes us to tense up and “get through this.” Unfortunately, it’s also the technique most of us use when we “try” to have an orgasm. We bear down, hold our breath, and try to “make” ourselves come. Sure, you can have an orgasm that way. Most of us have. But deep, full, extended orgasms happen more easily and naturally as a result of the dance between tension and release, contraction and expansion. 

When used consciously, both tensing up and holding your breath can lead to a mind-blowing orgasm after the body has been charged up with lots of breath. Energy pathways will open up, and the orgasmic energy can travel where we direct it. There’s a difference between the kind of orgasm you have after a five-minute masturbation quickie under the covers when you’re trying not to make any noise and after a loud, passionate, energetic romp with a hot lover. In the former instance, the orgasm is primarily happening in and around your genitals. That’s as far as the orgasmic energy can travel in a short time with minimal breath. In the latter instance, the orgasm may feel like it is happening all over your body and shooting out the top of your head. That’s what happens when your energy pathways have been opened up and you have expanded to allow more energy. 

The amount of breath involved is not the only reason for the difference between these two orgasms. In the second example we also added the energy-building elements of movement, sound, and a partner. However, when we move, make sounds, and relate with another person, we also breathe more, exponentially increasing the energizing effects.

Changing the way you breathe will sometimes produce an extreme change of consciousness, so it pays to discover which kinds of breathing will produce which kinds of changes of consciousness.

Do you want to explore the potential of breath more deeply?

Join me in New York City for my most popular one day workshop: 

Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the 21st Century 

Saturday, September 10th

10am - 5:30pm

Urban Tantra® is a radically updated Tantra practice for modern sexual/spiritual explorers that can be used by everyone. Tantra is not only a sexual practice; it is a way of life and a path to spiritual growth. On the Tantric path, pleasure, vision and ecstasy are celebrated and can be found in both everyday life and in peak sexual experiences.  Develop deep, heart-centered connections (with a partner or within ourselves), and explore the bliss that comes when our spiritual and sexual paths are one.

Note: This workshop does not include nudity or explicit sexual touch. All genders, sexual preferences, and relationship structures welcome.

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This post, Change Your Mood? Change Your Breath! originally appeared on Barbara Carrellas/Urban Tantra® on August 2, 2017. Tweet This Post!

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5 Reasons Why the Urban Tantra Professional Training Program is the Professional Retreat We All Need Right Now

Let me guess...you're a giver.

You're the practitioner who gives every single client 100%...

You're the therapist who schedules one more session so you can help one more person...

You're the involved parent, or the nurturing caregiver that keeps your family going strong...

You're the compassionate healer who holds space for everyone's growth...

You're the driven entrepreneur who's innovations shift perspectives...

You're the engaged activist who fights for the whole community...

...and you're exhausted, depleted, and perhaps even completely overwhelmed.

I know you, because I am you.  I've held every one of these roles at some point in my life, and I know the pitfalls and challenges that arise when you give all of yourself to your work.

During my more than 25 years in the field, I've seen powerhouse practitioners, compassionate councilors, and excited educators burn themselves out trying to make it all work.

That's why I created the Urban Tantra Professional Training Program—to share valuable tools that make this work more worth doing, for everyone!

Here are 5 Reasons Why the Urban Tantra Professional Training Program is the Professional Retreat We All Need Right Now: 

1.) Mind/Body/Spirit Healing

     I've created a nourishing immersive experience that will gently carry your whole person through a 6-day transformative journey. Breathwork sessions to invigorate your soul, massage to ease your body, expertly facilitated intellectual discussions to tease your mind, and plenty of time for integration, journaling, and making new friends. Also worth mentioning, we have a great deal of fun, frolic, and play during this training. 

     This is an experiential process, I vary learning styles and subjects daily.  We'll have dance breaks, moments of meditation, deep discussions, sacred experiences, peaceful moments, and more than a few good belly laughs.

2.) Professional-to-Professional Love...there's nothing quite like it.

     An amazing thing happens when you get a room full of practitioners together.  There is a mutual respect, a deep witnessing, and expert skill sharing that never ceases to amaze me.

     I created this program out of the need for this type of connection.  There isn't another pace quite like it out there. When you step into the program, you're met with a community of practitioners, teachers and healers.  You're encouraged to bring your uniqueness to the circle, and we're all better off because you did.  

     It may sound like a short amount of time, but we pack a lot of connectedness into these 6-days. You’ll walk away with lifelong relationships.

3.) Sweden at Midsummer

    The Urban Tantra Professional Training Program is taking place at my absolute favorite Swedish retreat center, Skeppsudden, during the Midsummer Holiday!

We'll be utilizing the fertile energy of the longest days of the year to bring even more life, creativity, and depth to this generation of the program.

     In addition to the usual 6 days of advanced, experiential Urban Tantra technique and training, there will be at least one brand new ritual experience to capitalize on the supple joy and exuberance of the Midsummer Festival.  

     You’ll enjoy looooong warm days and bright sunny evenings in the quintessentially Swedish woods and on the water. It is the perfect place, at the perfect time to dig into your desire for more, to deepen your connection to your purpose and vision, to learn how to create delicious experiences for yourself and/or your clients.

Did I mention that Skeppsudden has one of Sweden's most luscious saunas?

4.) Business Skills, Boundaries, and Best Practices

     You're committed to your practice, your vision, your business, and I'm committed to teaching you the practical skills that will keep you loving your work.

     You may come in feeling overwhelmed, but you'll leave with:

◦ clarity around your target market, marketing language, and your mission, so you'll attract more of the people that you want to be working with and less of the ones you don’t;

◦ marketing knowhow to further your reach, increase your prospects, and create a whole new set of potential income streams;

◦ a new skill-set and practice around setting healthy boundaries that will keep you grounded in yourself, weed out energy vampires, and help you maintain a healthy work/life balance;

◦ easily integrated embodied practices that leave you feeling nourished, connected and energized so that you can show up more powerfully in your work and in your life.

5.) Inspiration

     The individuals that show up for this work are incredibly unique folks from all over the world. We will sit in circle for 6 magical days, sharing experiences and wisdom with hearts open. During this time, new Ideas take shape and perspectives begin to shift.

     You'll get to explore your edges. I'll encourage you to try something new, to take that risk, to ask that question, to peruse that taboo.  My hope and deepest desire is that this exploration ignites your passion and creativity.

     There is no "right way" to use this work. Yes of course there are standards and ethics, but I encourage you to season what you learn at the Urban Tantra Professional Training Program with your own flavor.  Evolve it, explore it's power, and use it to create more ecstasy!

I am a giver, I'm enthusiastically engaged with my community, and I care about every single person who finds their way to my work. 

So if you're ready to join me for 6-days of sacred soul journeying, community connection, and nourishing inspiration, email register@urbantantra.org

The Urban Tantra Professional Training Program

20-25 Jun 2017

Norrköping, Sweden

Find out more here.

Yours in ecstasy, 

Barbara

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This post, 5 Reasons Why the Urban Tantra Professional Training Program is the Professional Retreat We All Need Right Now originally appeared on Barbara Carrellas/Urban Tantra® on April 1, 2017. Tweet This Post!

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