Julya Oui's Blog, page 16
February 14, 2012
Happy Volatile Day
You don't need a gift
You don't need a lover
You don't need to impress anyone
not even yourself
if you are alone on this day
or any other days.
You are loved
by someone,
somewhere,
somehow.
Sometimes you don't see it
sometimes you don't know it
but love comes to you
when you least expect it.
From someone
you might have forgotten,
from someone whom you ignored,
or from someone who will soon
cross your path.
Love because you can,
not because you have to.
Happy volatile day.[image error]
You don't need a lover
You don't need to impress anyone
not even yourself
if you are alone on this day
or any other days.
You are loved
by someone,
somewhere,
somehow.
Sometimes you don't see it
sometimes you don't know it
but love comes to you
when you least expect it.
From someone
you might have forgotten,
from someone whom you ignored,
or from someone who will soon
cross your path.
Love because you can,
not because you have to.
Happy volatile day.[image error]
February 11, 2012
What I Learned Today
I know there's the Stockholm Syndrome from movies:
- a paradoxical psychological phenomenon where a victim develop empathy or feelings for their captors. Named after the bank robbery in Stockholm where the hostages became emotionally attached to their captors.
Now there's something in reverse effect call the Lima Syndrome:
- where abductors develop sympathy for their hostages, which was named after an incident in Lima of course and all the hostages were set free.[image error]
- a paradoxical psychological phenomenon where a victim develop empathy or feelings for their captors. Named after the bank robbery in Stockholm where the hostages became emotionally attached to their captors.
Now there's something in reverse effect call the Lima Syndrome:
- where abductors develop sympathy for their hostages, which was named after an incident in Lima of course and all the hostages were set free.[image error]
February 6, 2012
What I Learned Today: Words Words Words
If you have a love for words, this is a marvelous place to go to.
http://phrontistery.info/index.html[image error]
http://phrontistery.info/index.html[image error]
Quote of the Day
When you are lonelyyou will only hear the quiet whispersof disoriented monologuesin your head
When you are aloneyou will hear answersto the questionsyou have been asking for[image error]
When you are aloneyou will hear answersto the questionsyou have been asking for[image error]
February 5, 2012
Getting to Know Us, Getting to Know all about Us
Most of us don't know who we are.
We don't know what we want. We don't know where we are heading. And we don't know why we get up in the morning to repeat the same old routine every day.
You must have heard about the inner journey from one source or another but still don't know what it has got to do with life itself. What's the big deal about traveling within? And why do we have to do that? Why? Well because Cher tells us that sooner or later 'We all sleep alone' and Gilbert O'Sullivan is 'Alone again, naturally' and Heart likes to be 'Alone'. I mean can you even look at the mirror and tell that person looking back at you if you like her/him?
Asking ourselves personal questions can be quite a confrontation. Do we really want to know why we are so temperamental? Losing our heads at the snap of a finger? Or why we drink so much it's a sure-fire onset for future health problems? Or that we are promiscuous and reckless, angry all the time and drug-laden, spending beyond our means and so so lonely? Do we dare ask ourselves what is making us so damn useless that is making us so ugly?
I guess if we truly want answers we have to ask the right questions and not dwell or justify on those that need no answers like: Don't you think I'm gorgeous? Am I not kind when I give so much love and get nothing back? Why do people hate me so much?
Though the truth is hard to swallow, even if it reveals some dark secrets of our past or expose our weakest attribute, it can be cathartic and empowering just as well. Though knowing too much can be intimidating to our small mindedness at the beginning, once we understand what it is that make us tick, we can take control of our lives and focus on our true vision that will lead us out of this entanglement.[image error]
We don't know what we want. We don't know where we are heading. And we don't know why we get up in the morning to repeat the same old routine every day.
You must have heard about the inner journey from one source or another but still don't know what it has got to do with life itself. What's the big deal about traveling within? And why do we have to do that? Why? Well because Cher tells us that sooner or later 'We all sleep alone' and Gilbert O'Sullivan is 'Alone again, naturally' and Heart likes to be 'Alone'. I mean can you even look at the mirror and tell that person looking back at you if you like her/him?
Asking ourselves personal questions can be quite a confrontation. Do we really want to know why we are so temperamental? Losing our heads at the snap of a finger? Or why we drink so much it's a sure-fire onset for future health problems? Or that we are promiscuous and reckless, angry all the time and drug-laden, spending beyond our means and so so lonely? Do we dare ask ourselves what is making us so damn useless that is making us so ugly?
I guess if we truly want answers we have to ask the right questions and not dwell or justify on those that need no answers like: Don't you think I'm gorgeous? Am I not kind when I give so much love and get nothing back? Why do people hate me so much?
Though the truth is hard to swallow, even if it reveals some dark secrets of our past or expose our weakest attribute, it can be cathartic and empowering just as well. Though knowing too much can be intimidating to our small mindedness at the beginning, once we understand what it is that make us tick, we can take control of our lives and focus on our true vision that will lead us out of this entanglement.[image error]
February 3, 2012
Only Following Orders
When I was a kid
I did what my my dad told me
and took the job of a man,
and stayed within the confines
of the enslaved damned.
But where did it go wrong?
I was only following orders,
Why do I still feel lacking as a man?
When I was a wife
I did what my mother told me
I let my husband treat me
the way a woman should be treated.
But I'm bruised and black and struck.
Where did it go wrong?
I was only following orders
Is this just my unfortunate luck?
When I was a young soldier
my country sent me to the killing fields
where I was wounded and maimed,
and I came home without arms and legs
and a heart and a mind.
Where did it go wrong?
I was only following orders
Why is the world so unkind?
When I was a girl coming of age
everything tells me I should look pretty,
otherwise no one will like me.
I avoided looking plain and dull
trying to outdo the others with my style.
Where did it go wrong?
I was only following orders
Why am I still lonely all this while?
When I was a spiritual guru
ascending beyond the material and immaterial
I saw the light God shone
I was blessed with the hope of love
and given answers for I believed.
Where did it go wrong?
I was only following orders
Why do I feel like I've not lived?
When I finally woke up
from the dream and nightmare
of who I wasn't,
I began to understand
it was all unrhymed nonsense.
Now it's no more wrong
because I didn't follow any orders
and the most beautiful thing is my own presence.[image error]
I did what my my dad told me
and took the job of a man,
and stayed within the confines
of the enslaved damned.
But where did it go wrong?
I was only following orders,
Why do I still feel lacking as a man?
When I was a wife
I did what my mother told me
I let my husband treat me
the way a woman should be treated.
But I'm bruised and black and struck.
Where did it go wrong?
I was only following orders
Is this just my unfortunate luck?
When I was a young soldier
my country sent me to the killing fields
where I was wounded and maimed,
and I came home without arms and legs
and a heart and a mind.
Where did it go wrong?
I was only following orders
Why is the world so unkind?
When I was a girl coming of age
everything tells me I should look pretty,
otherwise no one will like me.
I avoided looking plain and dull
trying to outdo the others with my style.
Where did it go wrong?
I was only following orders
Why am I still lonely all this while?
When I was a spiritual guru
ascending beyond the material and immaterial
I saw the light God shone
I was blessed with the hope of love
and given answers for I believed.
Where did it go wrong?
I was only following orders
Why do I feel like I've not lived?
When I finally woke up
from the dream and nightmare
of who I wasn't,
I began to understand
it was all unrhymed nonsense.
Now it's no more wrong
because I didn't follow any orders
and the most beautiful thing is my own presence.[image error]
February 1, 2012
Sad Songs & Tragic Movies
I've always wondered why I love sad songs and tragic movies. But now I do. When I was a child I was emotionally, mentally and physically abused into submission from all sources and my only escape was to cry with the sad songs and tragic movies. They did help me get by after a good cry. The only part of me that no one could touch was spiritually. I knew I was with god, the supreme being, aliens or something greater than I was in the stars and sky. The mountains were my solidarity and they spoke to me always. The trees stood by me and sheltered me from harm.
When I grew up I met guys who were unsure about a lot of things and one of them was me. They could never decide if I was a better part of the lives or the worse. Naive as I was I allowed them to string me like a bait they put out to fish until they catch something better. But I became wiser and stopped that from happening again.
And then I went my own way and had a great life away from people who brought me down. But then fate won't leave me alone and sent me back for reunions and it started all over again. But with new experience I managed to keep it all at bay. And then by some strange force of nature I met another guy with whom I shared a great and tragic life. I was emotionally and mentally drained once again and I tried to find a way out. Each time I was in the clear he came back like a recurring nightmare. But naive as I was again I thought things would get better. I was the ever so optimistic person that I was.
We stayed through thick and thin and ventured come hell or high water. We loved each other without commitments and restraints. We did everything we could to survive and made it through. And then he left again, this time taking the largest piece of me with him. And I went back to sad songs and tragic movies especially when he told me he fell in love with someone else.
As the songs of sorrows seep into my head my mind run with random thoughts and questions that any rejected person would think of. Ever since I was a kid I had all these songs compiled and movies recorded but I didn't realize it was for today. For the time when I am older and wiser and thought nothing would ever hurt me again. But they still do. So I listen and I watch and I cry and I cry. I feel like a thousand pieces but I know they can't touch me spiritually because I still believe. I'm still optimistic that things will get better. So good that one day I won't have a need for the sad songs and tragic movies anymore.[image error]
When I grew up I met guys who were unsure about a lot of things and one of them was me. They could never decide if I was a better part of the lives or the worse. Naive as I was I allowed them to string me like a bait they put out to fish until they catch something better. But I became wiser and stopped that from happening again.
And then I went my own way and had a great life away from people who brought me down. But then fate won't leave me alone and sent me back for reunions and it started all over again. But with new experience I managed to keep it all at bay. And then by some strange force of nature I met another guy with whom I shared a great and tragic life. I was emotionally and mentally drained once again and I tried to find a way out. Each time I was in the clear he came back like a recurring nightmare. But naive as I was again I thought things would get better. I was the ever so optimistic person that I was.
We stayed through thick and thin and ventured come hell or high water. We loved each other without commitments and restraints. We did everything we could to survive and made it through. And then he left again, this time taking the largest piece of me with him. And I went back to sad songs and tragic movies especially when he told me he fell in love with someone else.
As the songs of sorrows seep into my head my mind run with random thoughts and questions that any rejected person would think of. Ever since I was a kid I had all these songs compiled and movies recorded but I didn't realize it was for today. For the time when I am older and wiser and thought nothing would ever hurt me again. But they still do. So I listen and I watch and I cry and I cry. I feel like a thousand pieces but I know they can't touch me spiritually because I still believe. I'm still optimistic that things will get better. So good that one day I won't have a need for the sad songs and tragic movies anymore.[image error]
Transcendence
and then it slowly dies.
the heart,
the body,
the mind.
it all comes to nothing
but an emptiness
that is
soundless yet maddening,
calm yet turbulent,
relieving yet damaging.
these are the emotions
that cut you
when you
hang on too tightly
to something
that never was.
that never will be.
that never is.
and death
is the only way
to transcend.[image error]
the heart,
the body,
the mind.
it all comes to nothing
but an emptiness
that is
soundless yet maddening,
calm yet turbulent,
relieving yet damaging.
these are the emotions
that cut you
when you
hang on too tightly
to something
that never was.
that never will be.
that never is.
and death
is the only way
to transcend.[image error]
January 31, 2012
The Irony of the New Technology
I have phone numbers everywhere,
on my iPhone, smartphone, iPad, internet
but I can't remember a single one for the life of me.
I have many friends whom I have never met
in forums, chat rooms, Facebook and twitter
but I don't seem to have time to meet anyone in person.
I can sync with almost everything
from the TV programs, my laptop and accessories
but I am just as disorganized outside virtual reality.
Everything can be so quick within my grasp
my fingers do all the walking and talking and sharing
but my response to everything else is slower than my thinking.
I can travel anywhere, learn anything and retrieve whatever
but I sit on my ass the whole day in a dark room
and all I get are dry eyes, back ache and unusual pains.
I learn so much from the internet
from cooking to surviving to sky diving
but I wonder if I'll ever apply any of them for real.
The new technology saves me so much of time
but I find 24 hours a little too short
for my surfing, gaming, blogging and downloading.
The washing machine does my laundry,
the refrigerator stores all my junk,
the microwave cooks my meals
and I'm all set to change the world.
My banking's on the internet
I pay my bills the same way too,
Since I work from home all by myself
I sometimes ask, 'Is this all and nothing else?'
A life of leisure surely this must be
but my body's crying out to set it free
I even found love over the seas and across the shore,
but we're too afraid to meet in case the other one's a bore.[image error]
on my iPhone, smartphone, iPad, internet
but I can't remember a single one for the life of me.
I have many friends whom I have never met
in forums, chat rooms, Facebook and twitter
but I don't seem to have time to meet anyone in person.
I can sync with almost everything
from the TV programs, my laptop and accessories
but I am just as disorganized outside virtual reality.
Everything can be so quick within my grasp
my fingers do all the walking and talking and sharing
but my response to everything else is slower than my thinking.
I can travel anywhere, learn anything and retrieve whatever
but I sit on my ass the whole day in a dark room
and all I get are dry eyes, back ache and unusual pains.
I learn so much from the internet
from cooking to surviving to sky diving
but I wonder if I'll ever apply any of them for real.
The new technology saves me so much of time
but I find 24 hours a little too short
for my surfing, gaming, blogging and downloading.
The washing machine does my laundry,
the refrigerator stores all my junk,
the microwave cooks my meals
and I'm all set to change the world.
My banking's on the internet
I pay my bills the same way too,
Since I work from home all by myself
I sometimes ask, 'Is this all and nothing else?'
A life of leisure surely this must be
but my body's crying out to set it free
I even found love over the seas and across the shore,
but we're too afraid to meet in case the other one's a bore.[image error]
January 29, 2012
Quote of the Day
Making yourself look busywon't justify anything.The only person you'll foolis yourself.[image error]
Julya Oui's Blog
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