Michelle Schad's Blog, page 3

Bully 4 Love Blog Tour!

"She walked into my classroom ten minutes early on the first day of the Fall 1990 semester at South Pasadena Adult Education. I sat at my desk with my head down, going over notes and a sheet of mandatory announcements.

It was not hard to hear the entrance, which came with a slight swish to it. I raised my head to greet my first adult education student.

She stood just in from the door: a person—a woman—a person, unlike any person I had ever seen or, indeed, have ever seen since, for she was radiant. Radiant—a not unusual adjective and often a metaphor—but at that moment, as she stood there, and as I possibly held my breath, the word was an utterly accurate adjective that was just barely a metaphor."

Thus begins a very odd love story.

Adolphus. Lavinia. Eugene. Peggy. Who loves who?

Love rejected. Love ignored. Love found. And pizza.

"Steven Leiva not only promises he delivers. Bravo!" — Ray Bradbury, Author of "The Laurel & Hardy Love Affair."Off-beat

Publisher: Magpie Press; 1st edition (May 7, 2021)
Releases: May 7, 2021
Genre: Literary Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Print Length: 329 pages
ISBN: 978-1735298511
ASIN: B08XTLZ5M1

Buy Links:  
Amazon: http://mybook.to/Bully4Love
Goodreads: https://tinyurl.com/3e9a4ymm

#bookstagram #newrelease2021 #contemporaryromance #literaryfiction #comedyromance #comedyromanceread #lighthearted #bookrecs #bookrecommendations #bookrecommendation #bookrelease #booktwt
 

“This is the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard — and that’s a good thing! It’s screamingly funny and probably one of the best performed and produced audiobooks I’ve ever heard…and I have tinnitus." ~ Phil Proctor of the Firesign Theatre, for the Creature Feature audiobook.

"Steven Leiva not only promises but delivers. Bravo!" — Ray Bradbury, Author of Fahrenheit 451 and The Martian Chronicles.

Keep a look out for Leiva's next book, The Reluctant Heterosexual, coming late 2021-early 2022 with Magpie Press.
Or, do you dare to try something a little more monster movie throwback with a political bite? Check out his last release, Creature Feature, now out in audio, featuring ABC's "Castle" stars, Seamus Dever and Juliana Dever, here: https://tinyurl.com/y5p94k3e


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About the Author:
A Scribe award-winner, receiving the praise of Ray Bradbury and the Oscar-winning film producer, Richard Zanuck, Steven Paul Leiva is no stranger to the business of telling a good story. Author of several novels, and with a writing-style that lays hard on the satire, this Hollywood-escapee doesn’t pull punches when it comes to politics.
Need to know more? Follow him on Amazon or Goodreads, or check out his blog here: http://emotionalrationalist.blogspot.com/p/about-steven-paul-leiva.html

The post Bully 4 Love Blog Tour! appeared first on Taming Chaos.

The Beyond Human Blog Tour

The Beyond Human Series
by Michelle Schad
Hadi, a troubled, Muslim-immigrant superhero who can manipulate fire.
As a mysterious rash of fires break out around the city of Chicago, Hadi comes under suspicion of the AEC (the Agency for Evolved Control or those that keep the "evolved" hidden) and slaps him at the top of their most-wanted list.
Never a squeaky-clean hero to begin with, Hadi's quiet life as a bartender is about to go down in flames–literally.
This tour features the first two books in the series, HELLFIRE and EVOLVED, as re-published with Chaos Publications. The titles are set to release April 30, 2021.

Check out the Beyond Human Series on Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/ja8fdh57 

#blogtour #kindle #kindleunlimited #booklove #urbanfantasy #superhero #bookstagram #authorsofinstagram #bookseries



About the Book:
For many, the United States is a land of opportunity and new beginnings – unless you happen to be 'different' from everyone else. Hadi Shahir is one of those people, different in more ways than one. Hadi can manipulate fire; he is 'Evolved'.

All he wants is a new life and new adventures in this land of opportunity. His dreams become endless nightmares, however, that begin with an inexplicable hate crime that leaves the young man traumatized and untrusting of the world around him. A chance encounter with a pretty face cracks that shell, showing him that not everyone in Chicago is out to get him until a rash of violent, deadly fires breaks out around the city.

Suddenly, all eyes focus on Hadi when too many coincidences bring his abilities to the forefront. In a matter of moments, Hadi jumps to the top of the AEC's most-wanted list. His quiet life as a bartender quickly turns into a tangled mess of chaos, lies, and murder that drag the entire city of Chicago down in flames with the remnants of Hadi's ruined life.

Publisher: Chaos Publications; 2nd edition (April 30, 2021)
Releases: April 30, 2021
Genre: Urban fantasy/Scifi/superhero
Language: English
Print Length: 144 pages
ISBN: 9781954413023
ASIN: B08X2Z82BY

Buy Links:
Amazon: http://mybook.to/HellfireBH
Barnes&Noble: https://tinyurl.com/hxp3d778
Goodreads: https://tinyurl.com/22pyfmun
Booktopia: https://tinyurl.com/x24pnex4
Book Shop: https://tinyurl.com/58fek2t3;




About the Book:
Trust has been broken. Lives have been lost and most of Chicago burned to the ground. Blame is placed on those unfortunate enough to be born different; on Evolved. Demands for justice create a great deal of tension across the globe. The Agency for Evolved Control struggles to maintain order, spread too thin to combat a growing drug epidemic wreaking havoc across the populace.

James Kendall took an oath to protect the innocent and powerful alike. He is finding his new role as a member of the global security team, the Peacekeepers, is not all its cracked up to be. Saddled with two new partners and a growing number of disturbing Evolutionary episodes, he learns that the ones he trusted most have betrayed him. In order to set things right, James is forced to make decisions that could alter the future in catastrophic and unforeseen ways and uncover a scheme that is years in the making; a scheme that may spell disaster for everyone he holds dear.

Publisher: Chaos Publications; 2nd edition (April 30, 2021)
Releases: April 30, 2021
Genre: Urban fantasy/Scifi/superhero
Language: English
Print Length: 186 pages
ISBN: 978-1954413047
ASIN: B08YNV2JZM


Buy Links:
Amazon: http://mybook.to/EvolvedBH
Barnes&Noble: https://tinyurl.com/2uzhftkx
Goodreads: https://tinyurl.com/9pu45bz4
Booktopia: https://tinyurl.com/567ha4zt
Book Shop: https://tinyurl.com/hedesp7r

Keep your eyes out for the next upcoming book in the Beyond Human Series, Paradox, and the first of her Rise of the Phoenix series, Ashes to Embers.
Want to take your fandom to new heights? Snag some merchandise here.

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About the Author:
Michelle Schad, a Virginia author, has been writing stories of the fantastic, the horrific, and the mysterious for as long as her fingers have been able to hold a pen.
In a world that passes for ‘normal’, she is all of the ‘normal’ things one might expect: mother, wife, keeper of fur-babies. She is also a student of life, meaning if there is something to learn, she will learn it, thus making her a veritable font of only partially useful knowledge.
Find out more about her life and goings on social media: Facebook, Twitter–or on her website at https://tamingchaos.net/ 

The post The Beyond Human Blog Tour appeared first on Taming Chaos.

Agent Zero Blog Tour

Agent Zero by Janet Walden-West

He owns the spotlight, she lives in the shadows.

VEE:  My only purpose? Keep lethal cryptids in check, and our Company existence secret.
Sometimes a girl needs a night of karaoke and tequila though. Instead, after a vicious new cryptid species crashes the party, I end up saving and carting home a way arrogant, way hot chef. With Bruce Kantor now a temporary roommate it seems like the perfect time to indulge my forbidden civilian fascination—especially the friends-with-benefits part. But the feelings he ignites threaten my oath and mission.

BRUCE: Damn right I’m the bad boy of the culinary world.
I live for the limelight, and the legions of #BruceTheBastard fans love my temper as much as my food. After stomping out of one high-profile gig, all I’m looking for are directions to my next. What I get is a giant Komodo Dragon-wannabe, and Vee Ramirez, the most infuriatingly irresistible woman to ever hit my radar.

Even if we survive the relentless monster on my trail, our future is toast unless I can convince Vee there’s more to life than the Company.

Welcome to Region Two.

Print Length: 282 pages
Publication date: June 1, 2021
ASIN: B094DNGK3X
ISBN: 1737219018
Language: English
Pre-Order on Amazon: http://mybook.to/AgentZero
Add it on Goodreads: https://tinyurl.com/rwpszc23


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Want more of the Region Two world? Pre-order the next book in the series, Agent Down, on Amazon: http://mybook.to/AgentDown and
snag a prequel to the series, Agent Alone, on BookFunnel: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/vlwfpkiyon 



ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Janet Walden-West lives in the Southeast with a pack of show dogs, a couple of kids, and a husband who didn’t read the fine print. A member of the East Tennessee Creative Writers Alliance, she is also a founding member of The Million Words craft blog. She pens inclusive Contemporary Romance and Urban Fantasy. As a two-time Pitch Wars alum turned Pitch Wars 2019 Mentor, Sherrilyn Kenyon scholarship recipient, and Golden Heart® finalist, she believes in paying it forward by supporting burgeoning Southern writers.
She is represented by Eva Scalzo of Speilburg Literary Agency.

Find more about her at janetwaldenwest.weebly.com or on social media.

The post Agent Zero Blog Tour appeared first on Taming Chaos.

Blood Pact by Courtney Maguire #blogtour

About the Book:
In Hiro’s world, youkai are a supernatural story used to scare children into obedience, and to keep men out of back alleys and brothels. Until Sakurai Hideyoshi walks through his door with a fantastical tale of a samurai who had killed a thousand men and drank the blood of his enemies, a man that lived in darkness but sought beauty to keep it at bay.

A story both terrifying and romantic…and completely ridiculous.

Unless it is true.

Convinced something softer lurks behind Hideyoshi’s hard mask, Hiro follows him home. And discovers the story is real.

Only instead of the blood of his enemies, it is innocent blood taken.

Hideyoshi tells him never to return. Yet after Hiro’s mother is mortally wounded, Hiro runs back to the one being he knows with the power to save her. When Hideyoshi can’t, Hiro begs him for the next best thing: the power to avenge her.

As Hiro becomes youkai, he faces a new threat, something darker, older, and far more dangerous. With Hideyoshi at his side, Hiro must decide what he’s willing to sacrifice–and what he’s willing to do–to protect this new life before he loses everything for a second time.

If you like Bella Forrest, P. C. Cast, AJ Tipton, or Anne Rice, you will love this beautiful dark paranormal fantasy romance.

Publisher: City Owl Press (May 4, 2021)
Releases on: May 4, 2021
Genre: LGBTQIA Dark Historical Paranormal Romance
Language: English
ASIN: B091V1P3FT
ISBN: 9781648980831

Buy Links:
Amazon: http://mybook.to/BloodPact 
B&N: https://smarturl.it/Youkai2BN
Kobo: https://smarturl.it/Youkai2Kobo
City Owl: https://smarturl.it/Youkai2CO
Add it on Goodreads: https://tinyurl.com/3b3jec53 

Love the Youkai Bloodlines Series? Keep an eye out for Blood Bound, coming in Spring 2022.
Worried you might miss it? Join Maguire’s Reader Group, Courtney’s Coven: https://tinyurl.com/3yuh2vxc or sign up for her newsletter at the bottom of her website: https://www.courtneymaguirewrites.com... to make sure to keep up to date on your favorite characters.


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Courtney Maguire is a University of Texas graduate from Corpus Christi, Texas.
Drawn to Austin by a voracious appetite for music, she spent most of her young adult life in dark, divey venues nursing a love for the sublimely weird. A self-proclaimed fangirl with a press pass, she combined her love of music and writing as the primary contributor for Japanese music and culture blog, Project: Lixx, interviewing Japanese rock and roll icons and providing live event coverage for appearances across the country.
Her first novel, WOUNDED MARTYR, is a 2019 RWA® Golden Heart® Finalist in the Contemporary Romance: Short Category.

You can find her on social media: Facebook, Twitter or at www.courtneymaguirewrites.com

Love the Youkai Bloodlines Series? Keep an eye out for Blood Bound, coming in Spring 2022.
Worried you might miss it? Join Maguire’s Reader Group, Courtney’s Coven: https://tinyurl.com/3yuh2vxc or sign up for her newsletter at the bottom of her website: https://www.courtneymaguirewrites.com... to make sure to keep up to date on your favorite characters.

The post Blood Pact by Courtney Maguire #blogtour appeared first on Taming Chaos.

Book Signing: Winchester Book Gallery

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#Motivation

How many of you out there are struggling to find #motivation? How many of you are finding that #thestruggleisreal? How many of you are feeling both but are afraid to speak your truth because those around will comment, whisper, or judge?

Today’s post was intended to be a book review except in this time of absolutely nothing to do, I can’t even find the motivation to read. I am a writer, reading goes with the territory. It expands my mind, my knowledge – my vocabulary. I haven’t really been watching TV either. A few shows here or there, trying to catch up on the things that interested me a few years ago when I had less time but no binging, no crushing of full seasons, just idle watching. I’m not exercising or crafting like some mad woman; I’m not photographing my dolls or painting up new ones like I enjoy doing. I’m not even writing like I should be.

So if I’m not doing all the things I normally love, where is all the time going? 

Planning

I like to think that I am in a state of perpetual planning. I plan to read, to write, to craft. I have planned to refinish my dining room furniture (and purchased the things to start doing so). I’ve planned to convert my basement into a school room (and made some minor progress along those lines). I’ve done several loads of laundry, tugged at a few weeds that needed tugging, killed off two plants, bought way too many things off Amazon, and kept my groceries *cough* booze *cough* well stocked via delivery and/or pick-up. 

I’ve planned out what my novel should have in it, outlined, and written some things when others write with me (virtual sprints are amazing). I’ve washed up swaths of fabric to make more masks but gone no further than to wash the store crud off it. But I have plans to make more masks; so many more masks.

I’ve planned to walk, do sit-ups, yoga, barre, even join a gym. Has any of it happened? No, not really. I did a daily walk for about a week then stopped; same with sit-ups and yoga. 

I have embraced this perpetual phase of planning with no end in sight. But why?

The Real Struggle

Many say: “There’s so much time for you to do the things you want now!”

There isn’t.

I want to enjoy the summer with my children, to visit King’s Dominion (closed), to go to wineries and the pool without having to hide my face in a dammed mask in 98+ degree weather. Do you know how hot it gets wearing that mask in humidity high enough to turn the air into soup? HOT is the answer.

The real struggle is starting anything at all. I’d rather sleep or curl up somewhere to watch things I’ve seen countless times so I don’t actually have to pay attention. I’d rather pretend that I actually have a lot to do (and I do) when really I just sit and troll Pinterest all day while calling it ‘research’. 

We’re all struggling. Almost five months of being told we can’t or shouldn’t go anywhere, of covering our faces and staying six feet apart wears on a person. More often than not, the thoughts come unbidden ‘why bother?’, ‘who’s going to see it?’ ‘who’s going to care?’.

These are valid thoughts, valid feelings of longing, loneliness, and loss. We’ve lost every part of what makes us human. We’re not ‘human’ anymore, we’re pictures in a Zoom meeting. Humanity wasn’t meant to interact solely through plastic shields and a sheen of hand sanitizer. We need physical touch from people other than our immediate house-mates. We need to see the facial expressions, to clearly hear the tone of voice now muffled and hidden by cloth. Even the most introverted individual eventually needs some form of human contact, from the delivery guy, to their office-mate that annoys the crap out of them. It’s something.

And, it’s more than what anyone is getting right now. So, yeah, #motivation is 100% lost.

Because… why bother?

The post #Motivation appeared first on Taming Chaos.

#TTRPG #MomLife

I’ve spoken a few times in the past about my love and involvement in table-top role-playing games, otherwise known as TTRPG. I run games, play games, design games – and, yes, I am a girl. It is actually terribly refreshing to see so many women in the TTRPG world now. I do recall a time when that was not the case or, if it was, seeing women at conventions or at a table in a game store was quite rare. Now, that hardly seems to be the case. Girls pervade the gaming community in droves, like little daisies in a field of green.

Recently, thanks to Covid, I have been playing quite a few games online using the Roll20 platform or Discord servers. I’ve also been running a lot. It trashes my voice but it is a great deal of fun – except when one of my kids comes in to ask ‘Mom, when will you be done?’.

In case you missed it, I am a mom. It is nearly impossible to juggle all of the things a mom does with all of the things a person does. Then, I do something crazy like add in p/t work, a publishing company, I write, and now I’m gonna be homeschooling. 

Where does gaming come in then?

Blending it Together

After my previous post that was semi-rantish about the current state of our schools (or lack thereof), I took a moment to really think, to really sort things out. After all, that’s what I do: I tame the cHaOs around me, right?

Gaming is as much a part of my being as writing. I can no sooner give one up over the other. But now I have monumental responsibilities, a lot less time for games and words… and a kid that loves both.

My teenagers don’t really count. My 15-year-old claims to want to play #ttrpgs and then just as quickly slinks away to his room like the broody teen he really is. My daughter has no interest. My Tyrant, however, is all game, all the time, teach me, teach me, teach me. He also has wild ADHD so getting him to focus on a 4-hour game is nearly impossible.

So, we blend it. We turn the game into a learning tool. We make the game the lesson in problem solving, in simple but quick math, in adapting to new scenarios, in socializing. Yeah, it may only start at the dinner table with his father and brother, but it’s something. It’s something that will grow with him, that will teach as he learns the ins and outs of a game.

Anyone that says you can’t learn nothin’ from a game never actually played D&D – or any other TTRPG for that matter.

My Game Time

I’m a mom. I know how important it is to set aside time for me before I take a dull spoon to the entire household. I need my game time even if it is at a reduced capacity. One campaign is coming to an end, I play in 2 others, and just started running a 4th. That will bring the count down to 3: 1 that I run, 2 that I play. That seems fair, right? I think so. 

Plus, depending on who runs the at-home games with the kids, I might be able to play then too. Most likely I’ll be running, but I enjoy that as much as I enjoy playing. There is something to be said for interactive storytelling. I am, after all, a writer. It’s my job to tell stories. So, stories I shall tell and hope that the lessons they teach make their way into my children’s minds. Or, if nothing else, maybe we’ll just have a little bit of family fun time that does not involve a television.

A lot is changing and shifting, sometimes in good ways, sometimes in bad ways. No matter how things may slip or slide, TTRPGs will always be there as an escape like books that you ‘read’ on an open table instead of in your lap.

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Homeschool

Homeschool is a topic on everyone’s mind lately. Forget Covid, forget injustices or Pride, or any of that campaigning crap, the immediate concern on many minds is ‘WTF do we do with our kids come fall?’. One might think that stressing about such a question now is a little much, but when ‘fall’ starts anywhere from the beginning of August to mid September, that stress becomes very real and very tangible. Thus, on every feed and on the lips of every parent, I have heard the same thought over and over: maybe I’ll just homeschool.

I mean, why not?

In theory we did it for the final quarter of the 2019-2020 school year. We made sure Zoom classes were attended, homework assignments turned in, and lessons (if any) were learned. And, for many, there is still no direction on what schools will be doing this fall. Will they open? Will capacity be reduced? Will it go virtual or some strange blend of the two? No one actually knows.

Free-Range

There is something to be said about developing your own schedule, to work in your own time, to study in your own way. Kids become more ‘free-range’, I think. No, it doesn’t mean I let my spawn run naked through the wilderness (though that might be kinda cool in some capacity), but it offers a freedom that is not found in brick-and-mortar schools. 

Free-ranging it isn’t for everyone though. I understand this as do many other parents. But those of us that are thinking things through, that are carefully analyzing our options, now see things in a different light than we did before. 

My kids have always been a little free-range. I don’t lord over them or keep them too close. I don’t let them run around like banshees on parade either. There has to be a happy middle. 

The Compromise

My two middle children (as my eldest is out of the house) need to be in a brick-and-mortar environment. I’m watching my daughter struggle with time management as she works through her summer courses for her upcoming senior year. I also watch how unprepared they were to have so many students signed up for summer courses. Already adaptations and apologies are being sent out from the place that I paid so she could take a HS course. It makes me cringe. My middle son can’t be bothered to look at computer unless it is to 1. Play a game 2. Play music, or 3. Play Netflix. Outside of those things, he’d rather not touch it. Yes, assignments are all turned in online now but, even then, very much not his thing and his worst school habit: TURNING IN ASSIGNMENTS!

My youngest, on the other hand, needs the attention. He needs so much of it, in fact, that he doesn’t even have enough of his own so he takes most of mine. Much of my writing or publishing is done while he is preoccupied with something else (usually a game or show), or else in the evenings when I can depend on others to make sure he’s not doing something crazy. We’ve just been told by his psychiatrist that he would do well in a homeschooled environment where there is set structure with enough free-range feel to let him learn at his own pace (which, we believe, is and would be extremely fast). Thus, our decision has (sort of) been made: the HS kids will finish out their public school careers in school (if/when that actually happens) while the Tyrant will continue his education at home with me.

The Schools

Survey upon survey has come out from the school board about what to do with proposals for a hybrid learning system of 2 days on and 2 days off with radically altered start/end times to accommodate the insanely low number of buses we have available to us; no, not buses, drivers. Additionally, we have no teachers. We were already short on staff for certain subjects. The proposal now requires for almost a 50% reduction in classroom size to accommodate social distancing requirements. 

Students will be required to wear masks. Ok, great, so instead of teaching the teachers will be focused on making sure the kids don’t do stupid shit with their masks? My youngest is 10. I’ve made him 4 masks, bought him 4 more, and almost all of them are worn in the middle because he picks at it. My 17-year-old hates them, constantly pulling hers down cuz the heat against her face makes her break out in a rash. Unfortunately, that just is what it is, so wearing it when we go out is fine but wearing it all day is going to kill her face. Now imagine a school full of kids doing the exact same thing.

What about things like recess? Or moving from one period to the next? Lunch is going to be a joy – order it on the app or via your teacher and have it delivered to your class. What if you don’t have a phone? Or the app is broken? Or…?

The possibilities for this to go wrong are endless. And then, there’s the other rub.

The Rub

We do what is best for our children (most of the time). I know that it is best for my Tyrant to be homeschooled and the other two to do whatever crazy hybrid thing the schools are doing (maybe; verdict is still out on that one). My mind and heart still had a mini melt-down over it.

All of my time will now be dedicated to education.

Lesson plans, worksheets, and other educational needs will need to be purchased.

The basement needs to be converted to a school space now instead of a rec space.

I will no longer be able to work as I have been and I only have a P/T job right now. Imagine if it was F/T! UGH! (more on that in a minute)

My writing will have to take a back seat to his needs.

My publishing company will have to be ok with getting a fraction of the attention I am able to give it now.

Things like errands, laundry, appointments, will now have to accommodate the Tyrant, at least. 

Insert tantrum here

I understand why it must be done and I know, in the long run, this is the best thing for my son (and possibly the other two). I will overcome, I will succeed, I will do the best that I can with this monumental, life-altering decision.

After I finish screaming about it.

And if I’m  screaming, what is everyone else doing??

I. Only. Work. Part. Time.

For those of you in the back, let me repeat that: I AM ONE OF THE FEW FORTUNATE TO NOT NEED A SECOND INCOME.

What happens to those that do need that income? Having HS kids seems easy enough until you realize that even they need supervision and guidance in these hybrid solutions. Did you turn your stuff in? Did you do the assignment? Did you actually wake up on time to sit through your 2-4 hour session of schooling that you’re supposed to be getting?

Then there’s elementary school kids that can’t be left alone during the day, let alone be trusted to log on to whatever device they are given so they can listen to their teacher. In a house. With all their distractions. Even with parental oversight, it’s a bear to get them to focus on the task at hand and not the new hot thing that’s dropped on Netflix.

How do they expect full-time working parents to do this? Or teachers with children of their own? Yeah, I get it, school isn’t daycare except that kids have to go to school by law for 6-8 hours a day. So, yes, it is like daycare except that they learn a lot more and no one has to change their diaper.

The Defeat

There is no perfect solution to this problem. Putting kids in school still puts them, their administrators, their teachers, and their families at risk for exposure to this pandemic we’re all living through. Keeping them home 100% of the time isn’t feasible for most of the country who are middle-class, hard-working folks just trying to keep food on the table. I know teachers that work two jobs to make ends meet, plus the income from their significant other: what do they do now?

And here I’m lamenting the loss of writing and errand time like some over-privileged whiner because it’s easier to do that than freak out over the what-ifs that come with such a monumentally HUGE responsibility of teaching my kid(s) literally everything they need to not only eventually graduate, but to succeed in life as a semi-decent and mostly-functional human being.

Teaching 5th grade history was not in the parenting manual. 

I’ll just say that I hope no one was too eager for my next books…

The post Homeschool appeared first on Taming Chaos.

A Break

A Return to Reality

I needed a break. In some aspects, we all do. Reality is ugly, angry, terrifying, and all-together unpleasant. Returning to it after the break I needed only puts all of that ugliness into sharper perspective. This is not the world I want to see, the world I want to experience. June is a month of celebration: dads, grads, pride, flags, rain-forests – even onions! But, sadly, that isn’t what I see.

What I’m expressing here is raw and open, like a wound that won’t close. How did we get to this point?

A Pandemic

We began the year with a brush fire in Australia that quickly burned through the entire globe as one awful event after another. The pandemic we are seeing is not just one of microorganisms, but one of humanity as a whole. It is a pandemic of ugliness towards our Earth and each other. We have seen death-tolls rise, not only from a virus but from anger, hate, and war. 

We have been told all our lives that the pandemic that will wipe out humanity would show itself in the form of shuffling undead with decaying faces. We would hide in our homes or flee to safer pastures while the most stalwart braved the throngs of horrors waiting to destroy us all. 

Hollywood wasn’t too far off the mark from what I’ve seen. No, there are no undead, but I see just as much horror, just as many hideous faces reaching out to bring down what little is left of the good, the pure, and the innocent. I’ve come to realize in my return to this horrible reality that we are the pandemic.

Social Media

The plague in which we exist spreads mostly from social media outlets. It is the hub of the universe. What we read and see is what we now take as gospel. When I took my break, I unplugged. I rarely, if ever, looked at my Facebook (mostly for news) and left the others entirely alone. The news I saw only enforced my need to look away, to pretend – even if just for a small minute – that none of it existed. It isn’t a platform to share thoughts and pictures anymore, but a platform to scream and yell, to air grievances that are both legitimate and imagined.

I see Pride. I see BlackLivesMatter. I see slanderous things against the police, and more stupidity from the one person who should be leading in this time of struggle and heartache. I see pictures of new mothers afraid for their children, of people starting new lives, or saying goodbye to old ones with heaviness on their faces. I see friends worrying for each other while, at the same time, many show their true colors and turn on those they claimed to support. 

Yet, while I hid, I saw none of it. My heart was not weighed down by these things. But ignorance is not bliss.

Pride

The word ‘pride’ has become rather inflammatory recently. It is not just LGBTQ+ Pride, but Pride for the color of your skin, for the choices made to be the individual you want to be, or Pride in those who fight and stand proud in their own skin no matter what that may be. 

I have purposely not mentioned anything relating to the incident with George Floyd. That horror will forever be branded on my memory. 

I am a person of color though I do not look it. Two of my four children show their nationality in their appearance. I carry much the same fear as other mothers carry. I don’t want to see the day they are mistreated because of their appearance.

Yet, at the same time, I stand with the police that do their jobs day in and day out, to protect the innocent of the cities in which they live and work. My uncle retired from the sheriff’s department in CA, and my cousin still stands with them. I have dear friends who are police officers, all good and honest people that would lay their lives down for anyone.

The intent of Pride month is overshadowed by so much hate while also adding to it. I am bisexual. I am the oddball. I generally opt to remain mostly silent. Why? For the very same reasons the news channels now have endless fodder on which to report.

Peace

The world doesn’t need more anger. It doesn’t need anymore shouting or destruction; no more death at the hands of each other or the ones that should be defending us.

No more. 

It needs to end.

We all have our thoughts. Our hearts are heavy. Everything we say is twisted into something else and lobbed back at us like a cannonball.

Stop.

Breathe.

Look at your fellow man and be glad they have the ability to form opinions even if they are different from your own.

Accept.

I’m not asking for love. That is reaching too far. I’m asking for acceptance.

We can’t achieve change if we do not first accept our differences, accept our flaws and faults, accept that we are 100% imperfect beings. Things will never be equal. Things will never be perfect. 

So, breathe. Or there won’t be anything left for the future.

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A Little Bit of Silence

Here at cHaOs, we enjoy a little bit of silence as we prepare to enter Week 6 of #QuarantineLife. Yes, I just used a hashtag mid sentence. I’m sure my SEO will go nuts. Nevertheless, I sit in blessed silence while the rest of the house, well, rests. Silence is something that normally bothers me and induces a sort of mom-anxiety: clearly something is wrong if it is this quiet. Excpet, this time, nothing is wrong and I am allowed a moment of peace in the insanity that has ensued due to Covid-19 lockdowns.

I feel it is important to reiterate that my mental stability through this has been iffy, at best. I drink my coffee in the morning, attempt to school the children during the day while I work, and ‘write’ in the evenings. The word ‘write’ is put in little quotes because most of the time I sit and stare at the screen in a crippling paralysis of the brain that does not allow the words to flow. Why is this? I have the time… but not the quiet that normally goes with it.

The evenings don’t start until after dinner, the third meal cooked for the day. Sometimes there are games played downstairs while I try to concentrate. Other times there is a child sitting behind me while I try to work. And, on more occasions than not, everyone disperses and I still sit here staring at the screen with my characters screaming from the inside of my skull while my fingers do nothing but pop another appropriately named chocolate Pop’Ems into my mouth.

There have been several promotions for my published works – including the one still happening on Smashwords for my alter ego – that have mostly gone by the wayside because I sit with very little motivation to do much of anything but mindlessly sew several masks for people. In fact, I have a stack of fabric calling to my as I type this. It is being ignored because there is blessed silence in my house that I am afraid to break. I hold on to this tiny bit of silence in this time when silence is so rare, when the house is always full of people moving, working, playing, crying, laughing… living.

I sip my coffee and work on my novel outline so the edits and rewrites move in a smoother pattern. I remind myself that, yes, I did in fact pull something out for dinner despite the million leftovers sitting in the fridge – those will be eaten for lunch. I plug my ears with tiny buds that feed music to my brain so that creativity may flow freely in this time of blissful silence, this one tiny moment where cHaOs is actually contained.

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