Catherine Austen's Blog, page 19

28 Tricks Winner – and more to be won!

Now that I’ve rested up from over-blogging last month, I’m back to announce the winner of my Fearless February contest: Danielle E. Shipley. Congratulations, Danielle. A copy of 28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6 will soon be heading your way.

If you want to win a copy of this hilarious middle-grade comedy, you have another chance. My publisher, Lorimer, is doing a Goodreads Giveaway for this title, and you can enter any time this month.

(NB: 28 Tricks just received its first review, on Readerly, the website of the National Reading Campaign, in which the reviewer, Gillian O’Reilly, editor of Canadian Children’s Book News, used the word “hilarious” – as well as “funny, wise, fast-paced and engaging.” So it’s not like I’m bragging; I’m simply reporting the facts. The book is hilarious. Or at least a few scenes are hilarious and the rest are funny, which is pretty awesome.)

Click here to enter the Goodreads Giveaway for 28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6.

Goodreads does its random draws electronically, but I did my old-school, thus:

1. Write out names of entrants (i.e., those who commented on this blog during Fearless February) on scraps of paper and fold in half.

2. Remove cat from area and pick up all the bits of paper from floor.

3. Turn face to ceiling while fondling paper scraps and remove one scrap from pile.

4. Notify winner. (You cannot tell but that paper says “desh” which is my shorthand for D.E. Shipley, who commented many times on the blog and fearlessly shared her fears.)

This is probably not the most exciting thing in Danielle E. Shipley’s life at the moment, since her first novel with J. Taylor Publishing is coming out on Monday (Inspired, check it out, and learn more on Danielle’s blog). But it is a little exciting. Winning always feels good.

Thanks to everyone who commented last month, and to everyone who stopped by to enjoy my phobia fun facts.

28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6 will be released on March 18th, and I’ll be taking it on a couple of author tours of schools and libraries in April and May (details to come in my next blog post).

In the meantime, good luck to everyone entering the Goodreads Giveaway. 

Filed under: authors, books, contests, fearless february, middle grade novels Tagged: 28 tricks for a fearless grade 6, book release, children's books

The Missing Phobias (Fearless February Catch-up)

Life got busy and I missed a week of blogging. That never had any effect before Fearless February, but now I’m many phobias behind. Let’s catch up quickly:

20. Public Spaces can be terrifying because they are full of people and maybe even zombies and you don’t have much control over either of those, hence Agoraphobia. (Not enough info? Check out this Medical News post for more.)

It’s not being in the open that’s scary for agoraphobics; it’s the difficulty of getting home unharmed.

21. Sharks can be scary because they have big teeth that occasionally chomp off a leg, hence Selachophobia aka Galeophobia. (Check out this Animal Planet post for more info; it has the wonderful line, “Although sharks don’t want to eat you, you still shouldn’t try to make friends with them.”)

22. Going to Bed is scary because you must trust that everything will be fine both in your dreams and in the real world where you body lies in the dark for hours at the mercy of whatever is hiding under the bed, hence Clinophobia. (For more info, check out this National Sleep Foundation post on children’s fears of going to bed.)

What’s hiding under the bed, hovering over the bed, or burrowing into your dreams while you sleep?

23. Trees can be frightening because they tower over you and occasionally fall on houses and they look like they might reach out and grab you, hence Dendrophobia. (Check out this post to read the comments of people who suffer from a phobia of pine trees.)

 

24. Dolls are scary because they hold the trapped souls of humans, some of whom are able to animate the doll with their evil spirits and go on a rampage, hence Pediophobia. (For more serious info, check out this Serious Facts post.)

This doll scared untold numbers of children in the 1970s (WAY more scary than Chucky).

25. Dentists are scary because they drill into your mouth and you never know when a hand will slip, hence Dentophobia. (For more info, check out this Dental Fear Central post.)

Dentists are not safe.

26. Bears can be scary because they’re big and tough and they want to be left alone and they’re not afraid to tell you to bugger off, but there isn’t a proper name for Ursophobia. (For more info on the unfair demonization of bears, check out this North American Bear Center post and for entertaining thoughts on the lack of a word meaning “fear of bears,” check out this Compendium of Awesome Things post.)

I loved this movie. I am not afraid of bears.

27. Colours can be scary if one’s brain connects a particular colour with a terrifying experience, like Watson’s famously unethical experiments on poor Little Albert, hence Chromatophobia and the many colour-specific phobias. (You can read more about them, and how to cure them, on this Med-India post.)

Poor little Albert afraid of furry white things.

28. Dancing is scary because people will see you and you’ll be dancing, and probably not well, and people might form a circle around you and point and laugh, hence Chorophobia. (For more info, see this Psychology Today post.)

Chorophobia is not such a mystery, is it?

You can read about how a 6th-grade boy was cured of his Chorophobia, sort of, in 28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6, my new middle-grade novel coming out with Lorimer next month. In this boyish companion to the award-winning 26 Tips for Surviving Grade 6, phobia-fighter Dave Davidson helps his friends avoid, evade and eventually overcome the greatest terrors of sixth grade: dances, dogs, public speaking, band practice, and the looming possibility of an alien invasion. For reluctant or enthusiastic readers of zany middle-grade comedy.

And now I’m ahead of myself on this month’s blogging.

Have a fearless day.

Filed under: fearless february, phobias, writing Tagged: 28 tricks for a fearless grade 6, chorophobia, fear, fear of colors, fear of dancing, fear of dentists, fear of dolls, fear of going to bed, fear of sharks

Who’s Afraid of Clocks? (Fearless February Day 19)

Chronomentrophobia. The fear of clocks.

No, I don’t mean the Cold Play song. I mean the thing the mouse ran up.

This unusual phobia is not to be confused with Chronophobia, the fear of time (which is much too hard to get your head around), or Gerontophobia, the fear of aging (which is much too easy to get your head around).

Chronomentrophobics suffer acute distress in the presence of a clock. Seriously. Even just the sound of ticking or chiming is cause to flee. (Cinderella may have been chronomentrophobic.) 

The digital revolution may have benefited Chronomentrophobics, as numbers are less frightening than clock-faces with hands going round and round eternally. Or maybe it ruined their lives, as every gadget you buy these days comes with its own clock, so we are surrounded by reminders of every single minute that hovers unnappreciated before us.

Time stops for no man, but you can live without a clock. People did that for millennia. (They didn’t hold office jobs or attend pilates classes, but they managed.)

But if your fear of clocks is ruining your life, exposure therapy might begin with one of these:

Or maybe that’s a nightmare for chronomentrophobics. I don’t know. I’ve never met one. So don’t take my advice on how to beat this fear — seek professional help or google it.

If you have Chronomentrophobia, please leave a comment on this blog because I would love to hear what this bizarre fear is like. If you leave a comment during Fearless February, you could win a copy of my new middle-grade comedy, 28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6. (But be warned, it contains clocks. The very first sentence reads, “When the school bell rang at 3:15…” So take a deep breath before you crack open this scary book.)

Best of luck facing your fears today.

Filed under: authors, fearless february, phobias Tagged: 28 tricks for a fearless grade 6, chronomentrophobia, clocks, fear

Who’s Afraid of Heights? (Fearless February Day 18)

Acrophobia. The fear of heights.

If you have this common phobia, you don’t want to live here:

Damac Heights, Dubai, scheduled for 2016 completion.

You don’t want to walk on this street:

Street painting by the awesome artist, Edgar Muller.

And just looking at these old construction photos makes you queasy:

Charles C Ebbets took this iconic photo of NYC construction workers lunching on a crossbeam in 1932.

Acrophobia can hit you at any time in your life. You could be loving the Ferris wheel every summer till you’re forty and then, whoosh, your heart is in your throat and you can’t think straight and you’d rather jump to your death than go around again.

Some acrophobics are afraid on balconies; some are afraid on mountains; some can’t handle step-ladders; and no acrophobic would want the scariest job in the world.

Though this is called a “fear of heights,” it’s not the height that bothers me. I like heights. I always take a window seat in an airplane. I’m fine on top of the CN Tower. I enjoy riding the Banff gondola. I could live in a penthouse. Please. I even enjoyed the Tower of Terror at Disneyworld and many flight simulator rides. I have absolutely no anxiety looking down from a height so long as I am strapped in tight or in an enclosed space.  But stick me in an open-air ski lift or ask me to climb three branches up a tree, and, man, I am not okay. Not okay. Not okay. 

I figure my fear is partly a distrust of rickety equipment, but mostly a distrust of myself and my ability to NOT throw myself to my doom wherever the opportunity arises. (I don’t like walking next to traffic, either. And I have difficulty with moments of silence.)

If you’re acrophobic you should read this book.

There is relief for acrophobia, and the sooner you face your fear – slowly and with lots of reassurance — the easier it will be to overcome.

I have been on several ski lifts these past few years. (Whistler was a mistake — I over-reached on that one; it set me back years.)  I have also spent several afternoons climbing one of the trees in my yard and hanging out in the branches with my cat. I’m not ready to skydive, but I can go up a ladder when necessary and my heart doesn’t flip flop when I hike near a cliff.

You can beat this thing, too, with gentle exposure therapy. As Dave Davidson, the hero of my new middle-grade comedy, 28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6, says, the only way to face your fear is to face your fear. So up you go.

 

Filed under: authors, fearless february, phobias Tagged: 28 tricks for a fearless grade 6, acrophobia, fear, fear of heights, heights

Who’s Afraid of Snakes? (Fearless February Day 17)

A common garter snake near my cabin.

Ophidiophobia. The fear of snakes.

Like Arachnophobia, the fear of spiders, and Apiphobia, the fear of bees, Ophidiophobia is a rational fear gone mad.

A few snakes are deadly poisonous. And all snakes will bite if you try to pick them up. But that’s no reason to stutter and shake at the sight of these awesome reptiles. (Unless you’re a mouse, in which case a slow and agonizing death awaits if you don’t flee in terror.)  

Years of fame as Satan’s familiar and the cause of man’s fall have not helped the snake’s PR. Slithering and hissing haven’t done much good either. And squeezing herbivores to death or swallowing them live, and taking half an hour to slide them down that very long throat, is none too charismatic. (But whipping around without legs is pretty cool.) So yeah, not a lot of people like snakes. I get it. 

Ophidiophobics don’t just dislike snakes. They are terrified of them. They don’t just jump when they surprise a snake on a footpath. They freak out when they see a picture of a snake, or a rubber snake, or a discarded sock that looks like a snake.

Read this to see where your fear of snakes might lead.

If your phobia is interfering with a normal life (hint: you won’t go outside or watch Animal Planet), you might want to face this fear. It’s a 2-step process:

First, read my first novel, Walking Backward;
Second, get some exposure therapy. (Yes, that means eventually handling snakes. Try it. You won’t like it, but it’ll help.)

Whatever you do, don’t go on a rampage against snakes. It’s not their fault you’re scared of them. Let the poor beasts be. (Except in those places where foolish humans have introduced pythons into new habitats, where they totally take over. Stop doing that, people! It ends badly for everyone. Read about it in this National Geographic article.)  

 If you have any phobias, current or conquered, leave a comment on this blog this month and maybe you’ll win a copy of 28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6, the comedic tales of a 6th grade fear-slayer, coming out with Lorimer this spring.

Filed under: authors, fearless february, phobias Tagged: 28 tricks for a fearless grade 6, Contests, fear, ophidiophobia, snakes

Who’s Afraid of Sharp Things? (Fearless February Day 16)

Aichmophobia. The fear of sharp or pointy things. Now, how could anyone develop this weird phobia?

 

The Rx? Change your viewing habits. 

No one has a phobia of this Sharpe thing.

Have a fearless day.

 

Filed under: fearless february Tagged: aichmophobia, fear, fear of sharp things, richard sharpe

Who’s Afraid of Bees? (Fearless February Day 15)

Apiphobia. The fear of bees.

We’ve all seen Apiphobics at sidewalk cafes, knocking over wine glasses as they frantically wave their arms and shriek because a bee has flown close.

If that’s the extent of your phobia, thanks for entertaining the rest of us. But be warned: fear feeds upon itself and your phobia may worsen if you don’t nip it in the stamen. Some Apiphobics grow so fearful that they won’t do picnics or hikes, and they stay indoors on even the nicest days, double-checking their screens.

Don’t stay inside cuddling up with your anxieties! One of the best ways to conquer fear is to put aside your big fragile ego — and that’s easier to do outside in the big beautiful world. Think calm thoughts. Take deep breaths. Get so involved in an outdoor activity that your mind is too busy to entertain anxiety. So long as you don’t step on a hive, you will soon realize that bees don’t want to hurt you. You are completely irrelevant to them.

Read about the awesomeness of bees to help conquer your fear.

I used to be afraid of bees but I conquered my fear when I had kids because I didn’t want them to (a) be afraid of bees; or (b) witness their mother freaking out in public. I suffered through the company of bees at the picnic table, pretending not to be upset. And eventually – after many afternoons in which the bees ignored me – I calmed down. And now I like bees, especially bumblebees.  

FYI, threatened bees (i.e., the individual ones you’re swatting at, not all bees threatened by pesticides) emit an alarmist pheromone, a chemical communication that tells other bees an enemy is near — but they’ll only attack you if you’re moving. If you stay still, even if you’re surrounded by that pheromone, the bees won’t sting you. Movement – the running away screaming kind of movement that apiphobics do all the time – is what tells a bee that you need stinging. Kind of like running away tells a predator that you’re prey.

So stop freaking out. Be still. Think calm thoughts. They will leave you alone and go about their bee business – and you can enjoy a day in the garden. (Of course, if you’re allergic to bee venom, a sting can be deadly, and that’s pretty scary – but that’s all the more reason not to panic and flail about and get stung. Calm thoughts.)

If you’re afraid of bees, or anything else, leave a comment on this blog during Fearless February and you might win a copy of the middle-grade comedy, 28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6, coming out in March with Lorimer.

 

Filed under: authors, fearless february, phobias Tagged: 28 tricks for a fearless grade 6, apiphobia, bees, Contests, exposure therapy, fear

Who’s Afraid of Chocolate? (Fearless February Day 14)

Anything goes in a chocolate shot glass.

Xocolataphobia. The fear of chocolate.

I’m not going to write much about this one. I don’t have it, I’ve never met anyone who has it, and I’m not sure how it would manifest itself: breaking into a sweat when you pass a Laura Secord? Waking up at night in terror because you dreamt about the Easter Bunny? What?

It’s not like chocolate can hide in your closet and jump out when you’re least suspecting. It’s not like you could be jogging through the woods and stumble mouth-first onto a Jersey Milk. It’s not like you have to pass through a chocolate fondue to get to work. I don’t really get it.

I have no advice for xocolataphobics, except to say that, if you have this phobia chances are good that you are riddled with terror and this might not be the one to focus your energies on. Chocolate is avoidable. Pick your battles.

My sweetheart for twentysome years, who doesn’t especially like chocolate but will nonetheless be getting some today.

For us xocolataphiliacs,, this is a good day to indulge in the gift that gives back deliciously. (If someone offers you chocolate today – hint, hint, Geoff – you should open the box immediately and offer them one. This is xocolataphiliac etiquette.)

BTW, way back in January, I said I’d write about the fear of water on Fearless February Day 14, but I forgot about Valentines Day and the urgent need to go shopping for a card and chocolates. No time to write about water, except to say that water is life and if you’re scared of it, you should get some gentle exposure therapy because that’s a fear worth conquering. (Mind you, I’m scared of being on the ocean out of sight of land and I have no intention of getting exposure therapy for that. So whatever, go eat chocolate – that’ll help, too.)

No one in 28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6 has a fear of chocolate, although there is comedic potential in this phobia. If you have it, leave a comment on this blog and you could win a copy of my new middle-grade comedy, coming out in March with Lorimer.

There are lots of snappy posts up today about weird Valentine fears, which you can read while eating chocolate. Enjoy.

Filed under: authors, fearless february, phobias Tagged: 28 tricks for a fearless grade 6, chocolate, fear, fear of water, xocolataphobia

Who’s Afraid of Storms? (Fearless February Day 13)

When thunder roars, go indoors.

Brontophobia and Astraphobia. The fear of thunder and lightning, respectively.

These two phobias usually go together, often combined with Lilapsophobia, the fear of tornadoes and hurricanes. (It’s not often someone is afraid of thunder but totally cool with tornadoes.) We’ll call them all Astraphobia.

Get inside, Toto. Storm’s a’comin.

Storms are by nature violent. They can kill us. (If you’re not Astraphobic, check out this NBC compilation of a dozen of the world’s worst storms.) But run-of-the-mill thunderstorms aren’t as deadly as the guy screaming and crying in the basement seems to believe. (My astrophobic brother Ken used to hide in the basement during thunderstorms, and this was – and continues to be – a source of mirth for the rest of the family. Thanks, Astraphobe, for providing such a fun rainy-day distraction.)

There were 53 lightning-related deaths and 277 injuries in Canada from 1986-2005, which is only a couple of deaths per year. Still, you don’t want to be one of them. Learn some basic lightning safety tips, the gist of which is “when thunder roars, go indoors.”

If you hide under the bed when thunder booms, or if you call in sick because clouds are gathering, or you live your life glued to the Weather Channel, you need to conquer this fear.

(I used to work with a woman who was terrified of storms. She wouldn’t show up to work if it were storming, and she wouldn’t call in sick either because she was scared to use the phone. Our boss would smile and shake his head and say, “Nope, she doesn’t show if it’s storming.” That was just the way it was back in the good old days – bosses made allowances for nuttiness. It was actually kind of hip and interesting to be weirdly phobic because you livened up the workplace and people appreciated that. But these days you’d just get fired. So face your fear before it comes to that.)

Reading about storms is probably not necessary or even desirable. But, just FYI, lightning strikes the earth about 100 times a second. Around the globe, there might be 40,000 thunderstorms on any given day. This is not reassuring information for astraphobics. (You can read more fun stats here.)

 

This is probably not a good movie choice for Astraphobics. Or anyone.

The fear of storms is very common in children, and parents should try to keep this primal fear from developing into a debilitating phobia. Set a calm vibe for the kids – don’t go screaming and herding them into cellar at the first black cloud. (Unless you live in tornado alley, in which case you ought to scream and flee to the cellar.) For ordinary thunderstorm blues, distract the fraidycats with fun rainy day activities like movies and video games. Crush up potato chips and mush them with dip and call it “after the storm.” Your kids’ll love it.

When I’m at my family cabin, which is a tiny little wooden shack surrounded by massively tall trees, storms are terrifying. Once, during a fierce one, my son asked, “If a tree fell on the cabin, would we die?” to which my husband answered, “Oh yeah, for sure, we’d all be dead.” That is not conducive to the calm vibe you want to create as a parent, okay? Just reassure the kid and keep playing Monopoly like it’ll all be okay. Because it probably will.

If you’re a grown-up astrophobe, you need to chillax. That’s the Rx for phobias: tell yourself calming messages, breathe deeply, ride the tidal wave of fear.

 

And keep in mind that present-day earth storms are no biggie compared to storms elsewhere on the space/time continuum. On Mars, a dust storm can develop on a whim and envelope the entire planet within a few days. We’re going to have to wear balaclavas when we colonize that planet. (You can read more cool Mars stuff here.)

Jupiter’s Great Red Spot is a high-pressure storm that’s bigger than all of Earth and it has been raging for 400 years. Fortunately no one on Jupiter is afraid of storms.  (You can read more cool solar system stuff here.)

Even on Earth, today’s storms are weeny compared to our awesome prehistoric megastorms (which the History Channel has simulated for a show whose episodes have been uploaded illegally onto Youtube, should you want to check it out.) 

All to say, it could be worse.

If you are afraid of storms or anything else, leave a comment on this blog and you could win a copy of my forthcoming middle-grade novel, 28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6.

(Thanks to FreeDigitalPhotos.net for the lightning photo by Jennifer Ellison.)

Filed under: fearless february, phobias Tagged: 28 tricks for a fearless grade 6, children's books, Contests, fear, storms

Who’s Afraid of Squirrels? (Fearless February Day 12)

Scary photo by James Barker at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Sciurophobia. The fear of squirrels.

Are you serious?

While some of us are charmed by these little cuties, others can’t get past the orange teeth and fleas. If you suffer from Sciurophobia, your skin crawls and you just want to die when a squirrel scrabbles down a tree with a “chhkk—chhkk—mwa-ha-hah.”

All rodent-phobia sufferers experience an overwhelming horror in the presence of the animal and, often, a wish to eradicate the poor little critters. (This is unlike the rational fear of contaminated food and the corresponding wish to keep the rodents outdoors.)

Sciurophobia is rare compared to Murophobia, the fear of mice or rats (also called Musophobia). That is because mice and rats are creepier than squirrels.

To kick off your exposure therapy and conquer your fear of squirrels, check out my backyard Peanut Adventure on YouTube, featuring one shy squirrel and many bold jays.

And be sure to see Tommy Tucker, the well-dressed squirrel of yore, in this Huff Post article. (Is that squirrel really alive? How did they get those clothes on him?)

Got fear? Tell all. Leave a comment on this blog during Fearless February and you could win a copy of the absolutely fictional tales of a 6th-grade fearslayer.

28 Tricks for a Fearless Grade 6 is coming out in March with Lorimer, a boyish companion novel to the award-winning 26 Tips for Surviving Grade 6.

Filed under: contests, fearless february, phobias, squirrels Tagged: 28 tricks for a fearless grade 6, fear, sciurophobia, squirrel phobia