Giselle Renarde's Blog, page 38
October 1, 2017
Audio #Erotica from My Mouth to Your Ears
I have a bad habit of being overly transparent about everything.
And I have no plans to break that habit today.
Lately, I've been feeling really isolated. I spend less time online than I used to because I can't handle the news. It's overwhelming and it gives me anxiety and nightmares.
But the flip side of not being online as much is that I haven't been maintaining those human connections you get from chatting with your friends on Twitter and all that. I've always been extremely wary of strangers, so I shy away from interacting with anyone I don't know because I get really scared and intimidated.
Sometimes I spend hours on the phone with my sister. I'm amazed she has time to chat with me. She's got such a busy life. But, knowing I'm a big Simpsons fan, she recommended to me a podcast called Four Finger Discount. I came for The Simpsons, but I stayed for the friendly, funny Australian voices in my ears. When I listen in on their conversations, I feel less alone.
Last November (yes, almost a year ago), I bought a new microphone with the intention of recording audio versions of my erotica. Distribution was very tricky for Canadians at that point, so I had this idea of creating little podcasts of erotic fiction. I know I'm not the only person on the planet who feels isolated. This is my way of reaching out. It's not interactive, but that doesn't matter. Having someone's voice in your ear is an act of intimacy. It doesn't matter how much space there is between us.
It's taken me this long to get my shit together because what else is new? It always takes me this long to get my shit together. But today I am launching my weekly Audio Erotica broadcast via Patreon. Every Friday I'll post one of the many erotic shorts I've written over the years. The ones I've recorded so far range from 8 to 35 minutes.
Audiobooks are so expensive to buy, but I wanted to give everyone access to affordable audio erotica. That's why you can have access to my weekly Audio Erotica for only $1 per month. Although, to be totally honest, I hope you'll choose to support me with more money than that!
I've got levels. So does my Patreon. I've also been writing new flash fiction lately. Nobody's ever seen it. Just me. Initially, I was thinking I could just post a new flash every month, but since everything else is audio I realize I'm going to be forced (FORCED, I tells ya!) to record audio versions of these erotic flashers. So that's at the $2 level.
For $5 per month you also get access to a static gallery of "vintage" Giselle Renarde audio. "Vintage" means it's old. The microphone I used was a piece of crap and the production values are awwwwwful. But when I'm a fan of something, I always want inside access to early stuff. So that's what I'm giving you here.
You can elect to pledge a monthly amount in excess of $5, and I would very much appreciate it (trust me, there's a need over here), but those levels don't include any further extras. It's just a way for you to show your appreciation if you've got a little more money to spare.
I'm really excited about this audio endeavour, but without you I'm just a voice in the void. Lend me your ears, will you? Give my words somewhere pleasant to land.
https://www.patreon.com/audioeroticaJoin Now! Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
And I have no plans to break that habit today.
Lately, I've been feeling really isolated. I spend less time online than I used to because I can't handle the news. It's overwhelming and it gives me anxiety and nightmares.
But the flip side of not being online as much is that I haven't been maintaining those human connections you get from chatting with your friends on Twitter and all that. I've always been extremely wary of strangers, so I shy away from interacting with anyone I don't know because I get really scared and intimidated.
Sometimes I spend hours on the phone with my sister. I'm amazed she has time to chat with me. She's got such a busy life. But, knowing I'm a big Simpsons fan, she recommended to me a podcast called Four Finger Discount. I came for The Simpsons, but I stayed for the friendly, funny Australian voices in my ears. When I listen in on their conversations, I feel less alone.
Last November (yes, almost a year ago), I bought a new microphone with the intention of recording audio versions of my erotica. Distribution was very tricky for Canadians at that point, so I had this idea of creating little podcasts of erotic fiction. I know I'm not the only person on the planet who feels isolated. This is my way of reaching out. It's not interactive, but that doesn't matter. Having someone's voice in your ear is an act of intimacy. It doesn't matter how much space there is between us.
It's taken me this long to get my shit together because what else is new? It always takes me this long to get my shit together. But today I am launching my weekly Audio Erotica broadcast via Patreon. Every Friday I'll post one of the many erotic shorts I've written over the years. The ones I've recorded so far range from 8 to 35 minutes.
Audiobooks are so expensive to buy, but I wanted to give everyone access to affordable audio erotica. That's why you can have access to my weekly Audio Erotica for only $1 per month. Although, to be totally honest, I hope you'll choose to support me with more money than that!
I've got levels. So does my Patreon. I've also been writing new flash fiction lately. Nobody's ever seen it. Just me. Initially, I was thinking I could just post a new flash every month, but since everything else is audio I realize I'm going to be forced (FORCED, I tells ya!) to record audio versions of these erotic flashers. So that's at the $2 level.
For $5 per month you also get access to a static gallery of "vintage" Giselle Renarde audio. "Vintage" means it's old. The microphone I used was a piece of crap and the production values are awwwwwful. But when I'm a fan of something, I always want inside access to early stuff. So that's what I'm giving you here.
You can elect to pledge a monthly amount in excess of $5, and I would very much appreciate it (trust me, there's a need over here), but those levels don't include any further extras. It's just a way for you to show your appreciation if you've got a little more money to spare.
I'm really excited about this audio endeavour, but without you I'm just a voice in the void. Lend me your ears, will you? Give my words somewhere pleasant to land.
https://www.patreon.com/audioeroticaJoin Now! Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
September 27, 2017
Marilyn in the Middle: A Steamy #Lesbian #Romance Short
My rights recently came back to me on a lesbian erotic romance short that originally appeared in an Evernight anthology called Lover Unexpected: Sappho Edition.It's called Marilyn in the Middle and if you're wondering if the Marilyn being referred to in the title is in fact Marilyn Monroe, why yes. Yes she is.
For this friends-become-lovers story, I took inspiration from a friend I had in high school. She knew she was a lesbian, but she fought her impulses tooth and nail. She was also mildly obsessed with Marilyn Monroe.
I stole the Marilyn Monroe obsession for this story, but my character Innes isn't fighting her sexuality. If she's fighting against anything, it's love. Her best friend is in love with her and she chooses to kind of... not notice. Because if you notice, you have to act, and if you act it could all go wrong. Right?
Marilyn in the Middle
by Giselle Renarde
Best friends make the best girlfriends…
Jasmine’s in love with her best friend Innes, but Innes is obsessed with Marilyn Monroe! Innes has even decided to dye her hair platinum blonde so she’ll look more like the object of her affection. When Innes asks Jasmine to do the honours, of course she agrees. She’s tired of playing second fiddle to a movie star, but maybe the intimacy of the act will give her the courage to tell her best friend how she really feels.
If this goes badly, Jasmine will lose not only the woman she loves, but her closest friend. But if Innes feels the same way, it could spell Happily Ever After for two best friends.
A steamy lesbian romance short from award-winning author Giselle Renarde.
Buy now from Amazon. Coming soon to more retailers!
Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
September 24, 2017
New Covers for Fail Books
The old covers for my "How to Fail Miserably" series weren't gorgeous. I wanted to imitate the look of business How To books from the 90s... but why imitate looks from the 90s when I can imitate the style of today?
Now even more people will fall into the trap of thinking these are ACTUAL How To books that might possibly help business people in their business endeavours. These books ain't gonna help nobody. That's why they're called "How to Fail Miserably..."
But they'll distract you from life for a while, and possibly put a smile on your face. And the first two are still free, so you've got nothing to lose.
Get your copy now from...
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/745471
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/how-to-fail-miserably-at-writing
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=lXMzDwAAQBAJ
Get your copy now from...
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/747750
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/how-to-fail-miserably-at-marketing
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=xj81DwAAQBAJ
Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
Now even more people will fall into the trap of thinking these are ACTUAL How To books that might possibly help business people in their business endeavours. These books ain't gonna help nobody. That's why they're called "How to Fail Miserably..."
But they'll distract you from life for a while, and possibly put a smile on your face. And the first two are still free, so you've got nothing to lose.
Get your copy now from... Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/745471
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/how-to-fail-miserably-at-writing
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=lXMzDwAAQBAJ
Get your copy now from...Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/747750
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/how-to-fail-miserably-at-marketing
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=xj81DwAAQBAJ
Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
September 15, 2017
How to Fail Miserably at #Marketing
Last week I told you about a new series I'm releasing every two weeks. If you missed the first installment, it was called How to Fail Miserably at Writing. I know how to fail at EVERYTHING, and I've written extensively about my failures at the Oh Get A Grip! authors' blog.
You can still get How to Fail Miserably at Writing for free, but now you can also get the SECOND book: How to Fail Miserably at Marketing. And guess what? It's free too!
These covers just aren't doing it for me. I'm going to try to set some time aside this weekend to create some better-looking ones. But the contents won't change, so grab your copy now!
Giselle’s done everything wrong so you don’t have to!
Giselle Renarde is an award-winning author who’s been failing at everything since 2006. Her erotica and queer fiction have appeared in nearly 200 short story anthologies and published by two of the Big Five publishing house, but don’t let that fool you. Giselle is a writer who knows how to fail—consistently and thoroughly!
In this collection of short musings from the erotic writers’ blog Oh Get a Grip, Giselle treats readers to a veritable smorgasbord of anecdotes about moving forward in the industry one fail at a time. From writing books no one wants to read to resisting tried-and-true marketing methods, Giselle has done everything wrong.
Don't let the publishing industry get you down. Let’s all join hands and fail together!
Get your copy now from...
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/747750
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/how-to-fail-miserably-at-marketing
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=xj81DwAAQBAJ
Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
You can still get How to Fail Miserably at Writing for free, but now you can also get the SECOND book: How to Fail Miserably at Marketing. And guess what? It's free too!
These covers just aren't doing it for me. I'm going to try to set some time aside this weekend to create some better-looking ones. But the contents won't change, so grab your copy now!
Giselle’s done everything wrong so you don’t have to!Giselle Renarde is an award-winning author who’s been failing at everything since 2006. Her erotica and queer fiction have appeared in nearly 200 short story anthologies and published by two of the Big Five publishing house, but don’t let that fool you. Giselle is a writer who knows how to fail—consistently and thoroughly!
In this collection of short musings from the erotic writers’ blog Oh Get a Grip, Giselle treats readers to a veritable smorgasbord of anecdotes about moving forward in the industry one fail at a time. From writing books no one wants to read to resisting tried-and-true marketing methods, Giselle has done everything wrong.
Don't let the publishing industry get you down. Let’s all join hands and fail together!
Get your copy now from...
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/747750
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/how-to-fail-miserably-at-marketing
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=xj81DwAAQBAJ
Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
September 7, 2017
How to Fail Miserably at #Writing
Why, you might ask, is Giselle giving away so much for free these days?
There's a very simple answer to that question: I'm now massively rich and I don't need your money. (HA!) That was a joke. I still need your money! I need it now more than ever! GOD, do I need your money!
But the fact remains that I've been giving a lot away. And there is a reason for it. The reason is that... the world sucks. It sucks a lot. It sucks in big and scary ways.
Sometimes, when the world sucks, you have strength to stand up and fight.
And sometimes you don't.
When it all gets to be too much, you might retreat into something that feels comfortable to you. For me, that's comedy. One day I'll tell you how Mystery Science Theater 3000 got me through one of my deepest depressive periods. If you've read my depression handbook (also free), you know one of my favourite feelings is laughing uncontrollably when I'm massively depressed.
But comedy doesn't work for everyone. I was talking to my girlfriend about this the other day. She said that when she's depressed, comedy makes her angry because it seems so trite. We're all different. Some people would rather escape into sex, and that's one of the big reasons I posted my erotic novel CHERRY at Wattpad last month. So you could read it for free if you needed that escape.
The next big thing is this series of ebooks I've assembled out of many years of blog posts at Oh Get a Grip. I believe there will be 8 in total, all on different topics. The first one is called How to Fail Miserably at Writing. They're all going to be "How to Fail Miserably" at something, not so much because they're giving you pointers on failing, but because I fail a lot and it was just a funny, self-deprecating title.
Because these ebooks are comprised of blog posts you can read for free at Oh Get A Grip (if you're willing to wade through 4 or 5 years' worth of posts to find them), I'm bringing each book out at zero dollars.
These collections will hit the skids market every two weeks, and they'll be free for the first two weeks of their existence. I actually uploaded the first one last week but a combination of laziness and perpetual failure has prevented me from blogging about it until now.
I could tell you more about what's inside, but I'm just going to post the book blurb because that pretty much covers it. Be sure to grab a copy while it's free!
How to Fail Miserably at Writing
Everything I’ve Done Wrong
by Giselle Renarde
Giselle’s done everything wrong so you don’t have to!
Giselle Renarde is an award-winning author who’s been failing at everything since 2006. Her erotica and queer fiction have appeared in nearly 200 short story anthologies and published by two of the Big Five publishing house, but don’t let that fool you. Giselle is a writer who knows how to fail—consistently and thoroughly!
In this collection of short musings from the erotic writers’ blog Oh Get a Grip, Giselle treats readers to a veritable smorgasbord of anecdotes about moving forward in the industry one fail at a time.
Have you ever had an editor tell you your entire manuscript needs to be rewritten? Three times? Giselle has. She’s experienced rejection letters, bad reviews, banned books, crappy sales, and painful missteps. If you’ve ever written a book that earned you neither money, fame nor respect, come sit by Giselle. If you have no idea what you’re doing in this business, neither does she!
Let’s all join hands and fail together!
Get your copy today from such ebookstores as:
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/745471
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/how-to-fail-miserably-at-writing
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=lXMzDwAAQBAJ
Happy Failing!Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
There's a very simple answer to that question: I'm now massively rich and I don't need your money. (HA!) That was a joke. I still need your money! I need it now more than ever! GOD, do I need your money!
But the fact remains that I've been giving a lot away. And there is a reason for it. The reason is that... the world sucks. It sucks a lot. It sucks in big and scary ways.
Sometimes, when the world sucks, you have strength to stand up and fight.
And sometimes you don't.
When it all gets to be too much, you might retreat into something that feels comfortable to you. For me, that's comedy. One day I'll tell you how Mystery Science Theater 3000 got me through one of my deepest depressive periods. If you've read my depression handbook (also free), you know one of my favourite feelings is laughing uncontrollably when I'm massively depressed.
But comedy doesn't work for everyone. I was talking to my girlfriend about this the other day. She said that when she's depressed, comedy makes her angry because it seems so trite. We're all different. Some people would rather escape into sex, and that's one of the big reasons I posted my erotic novel CHERRY at Wattpad last month. So you could read it for free if you needed that escape.
The next big thing is this series of ebooks I've assembled out of many years of blog posts at Oh Get a Grip. I believe there will be 8 in total, all on different topics. The first one is called How to Fail Miserably at Writing. They're all going to be "How to Fail Miserably" at something, not so much because they're giving you pointers on failing, but because I fail a lot and it was just a funny, self-deprecating title.
Because these ebooks are comprised of blog posts you can read for free at Oh Get A Grip (if you're willing to wade through 4 or 5 years' worth of posts to find them), I'm bringing each book out at zero dollars.
These collections will hit the skids market every two weeks, and they'll be free for the first two weeks of their existence. I actually uploaded the first one last week but a combination of laziness and perpetual failure has prevented me from blogging about it until now.
I could tell you more about what's inside, but I'm just going to post the book blurb because that pretty much covers it. Be sure to grab a copy while it's free!
How to Fail Miserably at WritingEverything I’ve Done Wrong
by Giselle Renarde
Giselle’s done everything wrong so you don’t have to!
Giselle Renarde is an award-winning author who’s been failing at everything since 2006. Her erotica and queer fiction have appeared in nearly 200 short story anthologies and published by two of the Big Five publishing house, but don’t let that fool you. Giselle is a writer who knows how to fail—consistently and thoroughly!
In this collection of short musings from the erotic writers’ blog Oh Get a Grip, Giselle treats readers to a veritable smorgasbord of anecdotes about moving forward in the industry one fail at a time.
Have you ever had an editor tell you your entire manuscript needs to be rewritten? Three times? Giselle has. She’s experienced rejection letters, bad reviews, banned books, crappy sales, and painful missteps. If you’ve ever written a book that earned you neither money, fame nor respect, come sit by Giselle. If you have no idea what you’re doing in this business, neither does she!
Let’s all join hands and fail together!
Get your copy today from such ebookstores as:
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/745471
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/how-to-fail-miserably-at-writing
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=lXMzDwAAQBAJ
Happy Failing!Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
September 1, 2017
Adultery: The Ultimate #Taboo #Erotica
Giselle’s Best Adultery Erotica
10 Tales of Forbidden Love
Love is complicated.
Sometimes the most passionate love affairs take place with partners who are strictly forbidden. Infidelity can be driven by mutual attraction, money, desire, want of attention or even sheer hatred. In this collection, read Giselle Renarde’s top ten favourite tales of adultery, hand-picked by the author. Whether the sex is angry or loving, spontaneous or carefully planned, the characters all have one thing in common: they’re sleeping with someone they shouldn’t—and it’s hot as hell!
Buy Now from Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/742052?ref=GiselleRenardeErotica
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074SKFL2S?tag=dondes-20
Table of Contents
If You Know Where To Look
I Did You Wrong
The Falls
Suffer
The Therapist and the Whore
Show No Mercy
Artists’ Wives
The Other Other Woman
Burgundy Ropes and Voltaire
Good Neighbours
That last story, Good Neighbours, has recently been published by eXcessica as Hotwife Prudence and the Neighborhood Gangbang. Exact same story, just with a better more keywordy title for the individual ebook.I've been writing adultery erotica for more than a decade, and I wanted to give you my best for this collection. There's a pretty broad range of stories, here. We've got characters who are straight, bi, lesbian, trans, gender-questioning. We've got group sex, a threesome, discipline and punishment, rope bondage, sex for money, stranger sex, guilty feelings, and cynical optimism.
Some readers really hate cheating and infidelity in their fiction. I'm not one of them. Quite the opposite, in fact. If you've been following me for a while, you know I was mistress to a married man for ten years of my life. At the start of my erotica career, I used writing to process a lot of those really complicated feelings that go along with being a party to an affair.
I'm pleased to be able to off you this collection of my ten favourite erotic stories involving infidelity. I hope you'll agree that this is, without a doubt, Giselle's Best Adultery Erotica.Available from numerous retailers, including:
Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/giselles-best-adultery-erotica-giselle-renarde/1126977318?ean=2940154505847
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ebook/giselle-s-best-adultery-erotica-10-tales-of-forbidden-love
Excitica: https://www.excitica.com/index.php/giselle-s-best-adultery-erotica-10-tales-of-forbidden-love.html
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/742052?ref=GiselleRenardeErotica
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074SKFL2S?tag=dondes-20
Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
August 27, 2017
Three Happy Endings! #MFM #Menage #Anal #Erotica
What did she do to deserve this? She must have horseshoes up her ass, because how many girls had a boyfriend like Brad? A guy who’d learned not only to swallow his jealousy and support her goals, but to embrace the fact that she was attracted to another man. With these two at her sides, what could go wrong?
You'll never guess where Cherry ends up, but I'll tell you this much: she ends up there with Brad and Phil.
CHERRY's final chapter has arrived! Are you sad? I'm a little sad. I kind of don't want it to end. I'd forgotten how much I love my little Cherry.
Read Chapter 12 right now:
https://www.wattpad.com/462086362-cherry-complete-cherry-chapter-12
If you haven't started CHERRY yet, read it from the beginning at Wattpad. Chapter One is right here:
https://www.wattpad.com/456958988-cherry-chapter-one
And if you're looking for more daddy fetish fiction to devour, I highly recommend the taboo fiction of Lexi Wood. She's the sock puppet currently locked inside my night table drawer--just a convenient place to keep her, really. Check out her site: http://dancefordaddy.blogspot.com/
Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
August 26, 2017
"Do you like us, Daddy?" #DILF #Erotica #Series
“How old is he?”
“Same age as my dad,” Cherry said. “That’s why I call him Daddy.”
“Daddy?” Lissa asked, pinning him against the front bumper. “Maybe we should call him Daddy, too.”
Phil’s throat clicked. “Cherry?”
She laughed at his pained expression. “You look like you’re scared of us, Daddy. Haven’t you ever been to bed with three girls?”
Phil might just get VERY lucky tonight...
In Chapter 11, Phil takes Cherry home with him after Brad's gig and we see a turning point in the way Cherry views Phil. Up to this point, they've spent pretty much their entire whirlwind romance in the woods. Now that Cherry sees how Phil really lives, will things get a little too real?
Read Chapter 11 of CHERRY for free right here, right now:
https://www.wattpad.com/461588304-cherry-chapter-11
If you haven't started reading CHERRY yet, read it from the beginning at Wattpad. Chapter One is right here:
https://www.wattpad.com/456958988-cherry-chapter-one
If you're interested in buying my CHERRY in print or as an ebook, you can do that too: http://www.amazon.com/Cherry-Giselle-Renarde-ebook/dp/B00KSS762Y?tag=dondes-20
Giselle RenardeCanada just got hotter!
August 25, 2017
Double Penetration! #MFM #Menage #Daddy #DILF #Erotica
Heaven wouldn’t take her anymore—not with one cock in her cunt and another filling her ass. Cherry would never be an angel.If you're going to have sex in a filthy back alley, might as well follow Cherry's lead and get stuffed by two cocks at once...
Chapter 10 of CHERRY is now available to read for free:
https://www.wattpad.com/461097903-cherry-chapter-10
Can you believe there are only two more chapters left? Grand finale is Sunday.
If you haven't started reading yet, Chapter One is right here:
https://www.wattpad.com/456958988-cherry-chapter-one
Spend the weekend binging on CHERRY. It's dirty daddy-fetish fun!
Alternatively, you can buy the book in print or as an ebook: http://www.amazon.com/Cherry-Giselle-Renarde-ebook/dp/B00KSS762Y?tag=dondes-20
Giselle RenardeCanada just got hotter!
August 24, 2017
Sex in a Car and Brad Wails on Phil #DILF #Erotica
“That guy could be your father,” Brad said, standing against her like a brick wall. “If you cheated on me with some hot guy I might understand, but, Cherry, that dude is old!”
Here in Chapter 9, we find Phil driving Cherry to Brad's gig. After some filthy car sex on the highway, Phil's possessive side comes out. So does Brad's. When the two men meet in a filthy back alley, Cherry has to tear them off each other.
Brad wants Cherry. Phil wants Cherry.
But who does Cherry want?
Read Chapter 9 now for free at Wattpad:
https://www.wattpad.com/460611748-cherry-chapter-9
If you're starting from the beginning, here's the link to all Cherry's chapters:
https://www.wattpad.com/story/119783265-cherry
Chapter 10 goes up tomorrow. As always, you can buy CHERRY in print (or get the ebook) from many retailers, including http://www.amazon.com/Cherry-Giselle-Renarde-ebook/dp/B00KSS762Y?tag=dondes-20
Giselle RenardeCanada just got hotter!
