Dan Smith's Blog, page 13

Can you smell that?

Can you smell that? Can you feel it? That's normality, that is. It's creeping back, tapping at the window, hooking its fingers round the door, sliding up behind you.

Normality.

The end of the year always takes on a strange life of its own. All that time off. The children away from school. Eating and drinking things you wouldn't normally indulge in, at times you wouldn't usually consider, and in quantities that . . . well, you know all about that, right? You know the last week of December and the first few days of January exist in a weird, hazy bubble. You've just been there. You survived it.

But now the bubble has burst and normality has returned with a grin. And it's staying. It's not going anywhere.

I could give you a run down of my 2011, but I'm not going to. I could even give you a run down of my hopes and dreams for 2012, but you don't want to hear about that, do you? You've got enough of your own.

So all I'll say is that I hope you have a good year. I wish all kinds of luck on you and yours  – and we'll talk later; when things are more settled.

That's all.

Have a good'un

Having finished the first draft of a new novel, I've spent this week entertaining and being entertained by the children. We've watched a couple of films, been to the panto (thanks to Mum and Dad for that treat), played some games (including the mind-numbing Monopoly), we've made stuff, messed stuff up, ignored each other and . . . well, isn't that enough? The main thing is that we've managed to get along just fine. So far.

Right then, we're about to hit Christmas head-on, so it's time to brace yourself for all that merry-making and I won't keep you any longer. Have a great Christmas!

Oh yeah, and 'Happy New Year', too!

That's all.

 

Do You Own That Book?

I watched Alan Yentob pontificating about the future of books on last night's 'Imagine' programme and . . . blah blah blah. It didn't really tell us anything we don't already know and haven't been talking/worrying about for some time now. There were those who spoke out for the printed word and there were those who 'embrace' the future, arguing that it's about the content, not the delivery system. Of course, they went back to the old nugget about how people resisted the change from vinyl to CD and mp3, but I don't really see them as the same thing. It's not a fair analogy. The physical act of listening to music is the same whether it comes from vinyl, CD or mp3. The sound might be different, but the act of listening is the same.

But when we read, we have a physical interaction with the object that delivers the words to us.

My TBR pile

We hold the book or ereader in our hand in order to receive the content. We musn't fool ourselves that the delivery system isn't important, because why else would Amazon have remodelled it's readers over the past few years? Why else would it launch its alluring colour-screen Kindle Fire? Why else would there be copmpeting ereaders offering different functionality? Why else would readers be able to customize and idividualize the the physical appearance of the ereader?  Of course it's about the delivery system. In this technological age we all love to ooh and aah over the latest gadget. We like it to look cool and we want to be hip and keep up with the times. If it was only about the content and not the delivery system, wouldn't the audio book have taken over long ago? Wouldn't we just listen instead of reading? So, there you go – I don't agree with that argument. It's about the content AND the delivery system.

But I'm not all 'bah humbug!' about the new technology. In the long run it makes no difference if people read on paper or on screen. For me, though, the book is king. I spend all day looking at screens, so picking up a printed book is a pleasure I would be disappointed to have to live without. I don't want everything to be electronic. The thought of it makes me shiver. My life is already filled with alerts and notifications and bleeps and pings and I don't need any more. (I'm also pleased to say that my children  – who are very much part of the technological age – both love books in their printed form.)

The real issue for me is that electronic books are intangible. We can't touch them. We can't really own them – as far as I can work out, you buy a license to read a book, which means you don't actually own it. The consumer owns the ereader, but licenses the ebook. So, can that license be revoked? Can your Kindle refuse to let you read your book? And because of this, I see people losing touch with the value of the words contained within, just as many people have lost touch with the value of music. They want it cheap or they want it free. And that's what worries me most.

Ereader, printed book, however you choose to read is good. I'm sure there can be room for everyone. But let's not lose touch with the value of what we're reading.

 

That's all.

 

Major Slut or Non-Planner?

Well, the good news is that my latest completed novel has received official approval from my agent. And that means a lot. She's my sternest critic, after all. So that means I'm now at the nail-biting stage where it's with the publisher and we're waiting to see what they think.

They'll love it, of course.

And now I'm onto something new. I'm about half way through and I have a picture of where it will end, but I have no idea how it's going to get there. Well, not much, anyway. This makes me a little nervous – but then, I'm always a little nervous when I'm writing something new, because I never know how I'm going to get to the end. I know where I'm going to start, I know where I want to end, but everything between is, well, unwritten. I have ideas, of course, but I don't have a plan.

I recently heard that this makes me a 'pantser'. Well. Umm. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a 'pantser', surely? It really is an awful word. It looks nasty on the page and it sounds nasty when you form the sounds. Go on, say it out loud. Pantser. Ugh.

So, wondering where the word comes from, I googled it and found it defined in the Urban Dictionary as 'one who performs a pantsing on a pantsie' which, to my knowledge I have never done. Or it's defined as 'someone of either gender who is a major slut' *shakes head* that's not me. Uh-uh.

Who you calling 'pantser'?

Oh, here's the definition I'm looking for – it's a 'NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) term that means you 'fly by the seat of your pants". Someone who doesn't plan their novels carefully. It even suggests there is 'enmity' between 'Pantsers' and 'Planners'. Really? Like Capulets and Montagues? I can't imagine why.

Well, anyway . . .  according to NaNoWriMo terminology I'm a 'pantser', but I think it's an ugly word so I'm not going to use it. It sounds like I do something odd with pants. Which I don't. Instead, what I do is write without knowing what's going to happen next – and you know what? It might make me a little nervous when I sit down to write, but I like it that way. I love the excitement of wondering what exactly is going to happen to my characters. Something good? Something bad? Well, it's always something unexpected, that's for sure. And then new characters rear their heads and turns the whole thing around, which I love.

For me, the planning comes afterwards, when I tidy up the first draft. That's when I worry about all the details and the mechanics of the story. Before that, I just let it all unfold. (The story, not my pants.)

How about you? Are you a Capulet or a Montague?

Oh, and it's snowing on my blog. Did you notice?

That's all.

 

Pippa Middleton's Arse

Aha! That got your attention, didn't it? But, of course, this isn't about Ms Middleton's arse. I have no interest in that. I do have some interest in her £400,000 deal to write a book about planning the perfect party, though. I wouldn't mind a bit of that!

Reports tell us that the proposed (unwritten) book was the subject of a bidding war, so it comes as no great surprise that the deal went as high as £400,00, but that doesn't mean it isn't a little depressing. The publishers obviously think they can shift enough copies of the book to justify it but . . . y'know.

The Telegraph tells us that Pippa is:

'keen for the book to be released next year but is determined that she is not seen to be making money from her closeness to the royal family.Therefore the book is likely to be launched late next autumn, after the summer celebrations around the Queen's Jubilee but in time for the Christmas market.'

Come on. Of course this is to do with her closeness to the royal family, so why not just be up front about it? I know that Pippa is a 'writer' because she edits the online newsletter on her parent's website, I know she doesn't want to use her status to sway marketing in her favour, and I know she intends to write the book herself but, still. If she was Jo Shmo who edited her parent's newsletter she would still just be Jo Shmo. Let's not kid ourselves, this is another celebrity book, isn't it? Next Christmas it'll be on the shelves beside Jeremy Clarkson, Jamie Oliver and all the others who bring out their Christmas gift books.

It isn't that I mind her geting a great book deal – I hope, for her sake and for the sake of the publishers, that the book does well. I think what bothers me is the whole celebrity thing and the fact that we have to pretend it isn't becasue she's connected to the royals. And anyway, what is it that fascinates people so much about the lives of celebrities? I just don't get it.

That's all.

Related articles

Pippa Middleton in '£400,000′ book deal (telegraph.co.uk)
Pippa Middleton and the survival of the preposterous publisher's advance (guardian.co.uk)

Liebster Blog Award

Fancy that, eh? I've been awarded the Liebster Blog Award by children's author Abi Burlingham who does a great line in children's books and lollipops. Thank you, Abi!

So what is it? Well, Liebster is a German word meaning dearest, and the award is given to up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers. Apparently there are certain things you should do if you receive the award:

1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you. (which I've done, natch)

2. Reveal your top five picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog. (Hmm. Well. See note below)

3. Copy and paste the award on your blog. (Yup)

4. Hope that the people you've sent the award to forward it to their five favourite bloggers. (fingers crossed)

Note: Well, you know me. When Did I ever do as I was told? I mean, I wanted to. I really, really did. I wanted to pick five blogs and pass it on and pay-it-forward and, y'know. But . . . I'm going for two. And here they are.

Effortless Cooking. Easy Baking

ElementaryWatson

Something foody and something writery for you to enjoy.

That's all.

 

Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.

'How to get a story going, grab your reader's attention and  . . . ' That's what I said I'd talk about in my workshop yesterday. I recently had the experience of reading something like sixty 3 chapter submissions for a writing competition, and what struck me most was that so many of the beginnings were unengaging. So I said I'd focus the workshop on how to really make an impact. Of course, when I started planning, I realised what an immense task it was. Those first couple of pages need to be so tight in hooking the reader and introducing them to character, conflict, motivation, obstacle, plot – y'know, the usual stuff. Oh, and then there's all the stuff you have to avoid in your opening.

To compound all of this, it was the first time I'd run a workshop. Anyway, I thought long and hard, I planned carefully and in the end it seemed to go pretty well. At least, I think it did. I enjoyed it, people joined in and discussed things, and they did a bit of writing. Some of the people who came along had things on their mind that they needed to maybe see from a different perspective and so went away with a new angle. Others needed a little spark to get them writing, and went away with a few ideas in mind, so that's good, right? And others had the chance to grill me about the publishing process and my experiences of it.

And that, to me, is the real heart of a workshop. It's about interacting with other writers in a like-minded environment; it's about airing your thoughts and finding alternative perspectives. It's not about someone telling you what to do. It's about sharing ideas. Because writing advice is such a . . . loose thing. A lot of it is just opinion. Creative writing isn't a science is it? It's creative. That's the clue, right there.

There are no rules. There are guidelines and tools a writer can use but they don't have to. Creative writing is an art and writers can break all the so-called rules, do all the things they're told they're not supposed to and still they produce good work. And, similarly, someone can follow the guidlines, obey the 'rules' and still produce something unreadable. I really believe that you can help a writer improve their craft, but if Joe Bloggs isn't a writer, can someone really teach him how to be? I'm not so sure.

And when it comes to publication, what advice can anyone give? After all, if your manuscript is good, it's all down to chance. It needs to land on the right desk at the right time. If it doesn't . . . well, we all know what a rejection letter looks like, right?

 

 

 

DRY SEASON Longlisted

DRY SEASON has been longlisted for the IMPAC Dublin Literary Award. Which is nice.

I'm really very excited about the nominations the book has received since it was published – shortlisted for the Brit Writer's Published Writer of the Year, short listed for the Author's Club Best First Novel and now long listed for IMPAC – and althought I haven't won any of them (yet) it's great to know that the book has been well received. The long list for this particular literary award is, well, looooong.  147 books is quite a list and the odds aren't great for a win but, y'know, being listed is fantastic.

 

In other news, I'm going to be running a workshop in Sunderland on Thursday 17th November. I'll be looking at some of the many things which go into getting those all-important first pages of your novel into shape. I'll do a bit of talking, you'll do a bit of writing. If you fancy coming along, you'll find more details right here.

 

That's all.

Related articles

Room leads longlist for Impac Dublin award (guardian.co.uk)

Fake Blood and Rotting Animal Guts!

Halloween, eh? I remember when halloween was just the 31st October. Just another day. You know, it was all fields round here back then. Now, though, it's all 'trick or treat' this and 'scary costumes' that and before we know it Marks and Spencer isn't selling 'cheesey puffs' any more, they're selling 'witches toes'. And jam donuts are filled with 'vampire blood' instead of plain ole jam, and the supermarket has a whole aisle dedicated to all things Halloweeny. There's a wholsale taming of all things scary.

They'll be doing Happy Halloween cards next.

Still, it's all good fun really. I mean, we can send the children out to knock on people's doors and beg for sweets – and then eat them ourselves. And we can scare them and not feel bad about it. We get to carve pumpkins – though why anyone would want to eat what comes out of one is a mystery to me. That's a halloween fright right there – the stringy, stinky guts of a pumkin.

What else? Oh yeah, we get to watch horror films, although I always get a little nostalgic when it comes to horror films. They just don't make them like they used to.

These modern upstarts just don't have the gritty, vicious charm of the films of the late 70s and 80s. Back then it all seemed new and forbidden. Even the Prime Minister told us we couldn't watch them. Remember Margaret Thatcher and the scandalous 'vidoe nasties' that sullied the minds of the young?

So why not treat yourself to a bit of garish, old-school horror tonight? Why not slip one of these rancid gems into the Blu-Ray tonight? Or, better yet, drag out the old VHS, play with the 'tracking' and watch one on a scratchy tape:-

The Evil Dead, Dawn of The Dead, Zombie Flesheaters, Re-Animator, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Friday 13th, Suspiria, The Beyond, Hellraiser, Demons . . . I could go on.

You won't be disappointed by the cheesey 80′s acting (mustachioed men, anyone?), the over the top gore and the fantasticly non CGI effects. It was all prosthetic skin, fake blood, and rotting animal guts back then, you know.

Hmm, I wonder if I can persuade my wife to watch Evil Dead with me tonight. Oh, there I go getting all dewy-eyed again.

 

That's all.

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The Child Thief is coming . . .

Half term has coincided with the end of a writing project for me, so that means I get to spend more time with the whippersnappers. And that means this blog post is going to be short because I'm off to watch Scooby-Doo. You're thinking they should be outside, right? But it's raining and it's cold, so if that isn't a good excuse for some telly, then what is?

Anyway, I just wanted to share a couple of things with you. The first is that I saw the new Tintin film yesterday and can confirm that it's great fun. Sure, it's an odd mish-mash of 'The Secret of the Unicorn' and 'The Crab with the Golden Claws' but, you know, it's Tintin. Adventure, action, sleuthing, globe-trotting, drunken sea captains, intelligent dogs, bumbling detectives in bowler hats and, of course, billions of blue blistering barnacles. I wonder what our American cousins will make of it, though? I'm pretty sure Tintin is almost unknown over there – to them it's a dog (Rin Tin Tin) – so it will be interesting to see how well it goes down. But then, how can they not love the little quiffed-one and his pooch?

 

And the other thing? Well, I received a package in the post last week, and look what it contained! Book proofs for THE CHILD THIEF. It's not all finalised, but . . . nope that's all I'm going to say. But what about that cover, eh? Looks great. I can't wait for you all to read it.

That's all.

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