Pete Wilson's Blog, page 9

4 Tips To Navigate Life Transitions

The word “transition”, alone, is enough to make most people run for cover. It insinuates change, which headbutts how most of us are wired; for comfortability and security. While it’s true that there are both good and bad transitions, they still have one thing in common. Both types of transitions are hard. Really hard.

Ready or not, we all go through numerous transitions in our lives – leaving high school to go to college or work, changing jobs, getting married, having children. The list is never-ending and these changes ignite weeks, months, or longer full of awkward emotional spaces where we have to cut ties with what we once knew and own our unfamiliar realities.

In general, I’ve found that there are 3 type of transition in life:

1) Choice transitions: An opportunity comes along that you choose to take. Or maybe you realize it’s time to step away from something you’ve done for a while. This type of transition, one that I’m in right now, is one that you choose and feel like is what is best for your season. However, what I’m discovering is that it doesn’t mean it’s easy. I love my new job at The A Group, but that doesn’t mean that there haven’t been things that I’ve wrestled with. For example: I miss the team I worked with for years at Cross Point. I miss the buzz of ministry on Sunday mornings. I miss the routine I had for 14 years. I miss the people that trusted me to pastor them. Although it was a choice I weighed for quite some time and knew was right, it is still painful and difficult to endure initially.

2) Natural transitions: These could be anything from graduating from high school or college, having a baby, or getting married. They are often just part of the natural rhythms of life. They feel expected and normal, therefore making these transitions a little more welcomed, emotionally. Most people have gone through one or two of them in their lives, so we have plenty of unsolicited advice and blogs to help us through those.

3) Imposed Transitions: These are probably the most dreaded of the 3 transitions because the season is  unwillingly imposed on us – sudden layoff from a job, unwanted and uninitiated breakups in relationships, an illness that threatens the very breath you breathe. They hit you like a brick wall and leave you emotionally stranded and vulnerable.

Whatever the circumstances, navigating through transitions in a healthy way can prove to be challenging. So here’s a few tips that hopefully you’ll find helpful for surviving your current or next transition.

Expect to feel depressed or anxious.

Even though my career transition is a positive and healthy thing for me, change is still change. I’m leaving behind colleagues that I’ve been in the trenches of ministry with for years and grown extremely close to. I’m leaving a job that was familiar and somewhat comforting, even though the weight of it all had become too much to carry.

Whenever we move forward, we leave something behind which creates a psychological state of grief, no matter how small. And if the change is unexpected and unwanted– the sudden job layoff or relationship breakup – the shock and depression are greater and more devastating to the life we all pictured. And with such turmoil as this, comes anxiety. We are out of our comfort zone; our imaginations run wild; we worry about an unknown future. So, don’t feel shame in your emotions. They are normal no matter how isolated they make you feel. Try to avoid the attempt of numbing with distractions. Feel what you’re heart is telling you, grieve the loss, and try to grow from it. It will get better, but we can’t expect an external portrayal of roses and rainbows to heal us.

Realize your past is not your past if it’s still impacting your present.

While you need to acknowledge your loss, you don’t want to get stuck in the past.  Someone once told me that acknowledging that a door is closed is healthy; spending your time and energy staring at it is not.

Although it sounds like a cliché,  I’ve found it to be true over and over. Often what feels like an ending is actually just a beginning. And just remember this isn’t the first transition you’ve gone through, right? You’ve  – changed schools,  churches, neighborhoods, relationships, jobs. We often encounter new struggles and think that “this time is different”, or “I can’t get through this one”. You can do this again. And this time even better.

Think positive. Think opportunity.

In the movie Up In the Air, George Clooney played a character whose job was to fire people for companies that were downsizing. If you’ve seen the movie, you know he would always begin his speech to whoever he was firing with “I’m here to talk to you about new opportunities.”  Obviously, this was a bit of a spin, but it’s also kind of true.

Whether your transition is by choice or uninvited, my guess is that you’re going to have opportunity that you wouldn’t have had otherwise. You learn a new skill. You find a new appreciation for someone in your life. You begin using your experience to help other people with the same thing. You meet some new people that you would never have met any other way. You start down a path that seems unchartered and uninteresting, but actually ends up leading to a new passion that you didn’t know existed. All of these opportunities are chances to grow and see His goodness amidst challenges, so why not allow God to redeem something once perceived as stagnated.

Lean into God.

The reality is, we often lean and trust in things we never should have in the first place. We lean on our finances, we lean on our spouse or friend, we lean on job titles, and the list could go on and on.

You know I wish God had my full attention all the time but the reality is, I can get easily distracted by a lot of little shiny and enticing things in this world. But the moment I find myself in transition, the moment I feel like the rug has been ripped out from underneath me, is when God gets my full attention.

Transition, by definition, means change. But, we have a God who is unchanging and constant. Sovereign and all-knowing of our future and purpose. Faithful and full of grace through our attempts at navigating the “new”. So, during this time lean into the one thing, the only thing, that’s worthy of our full trust.

The Lesson Donald Trump Taught me

I’m sure there’s not a soul in this country who hasn’t listened to the latest Donald Trump crisis where he was recorded discussing some very tasteless, unfortunate words years ago that are coming back to haunt him. Even if it’s been classified as “just locker room” talk, those words have sent vibrations around the world.

And he’s not alone. Earlier in this campaign, Hillary Clinton started her own controversy when she called Donald Trump’s followers “deplorable”. That one word made her wish she had supernatural powers to turn back time.

So maybe Donald Trump didn’t teach me this but he certainly reminded me of this simple truth this past week…

You will never speak a neutral word in your life.

Words have power. The Bible says that words that come out of your mouth have the power of life and death (Proverbs 12:18).

You can speak words of life, which encourage, bring hope, and instill love, peace, and spread wisdom.

Or you can speak words of death, which are filled with anger, full of jealousy, laced with slander, intended to belittle and condemn others.

When I was a pastor, I can remember sitting down with people who were 65 years old and could still remember things said to them when they were children. They were things said by a teacher, a parent, a friend, or maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Some of you can, in a very painful way, remember being on the playground 30 years ago and another kid calling you fat.

Some of you remember the day your ex told you that you were unlovable.

What about the day your dad called you stupid.

Hateful things that were said to us in our past have a tendency to stick with us for the rest of our lives because there is a scary, painful, long-term shelf life to ugly, negative talk.

And this makes my stomach turn just a little because I realize I’ve violated this principle way too many times in my life. This principle doesn’t just apply to our personal lives right? In branding, there are equally powerful words that, used wisely, can steer your brand away from stupid, shallow mistakes towards rewarding, meaningful and defining steps to elevating your brand above the noise.

When it comes to branding and advertising, we can’t afford for words to fail us.

When someone sees your website for the first time, they’re struck by the colors, the fonts, and the images. Those elements are so crucial, don’t get me wrong, but what happens when the initial reaction fades and this newbie to your site starts reading the words? The homepage content, the menu items, your company or church slogan? So, we have to ask ourselves clarifying questions over and over until the cows come home.

Do the words we use consistently reflect the brand? Does our messaging cut through the noise and ignite consumers’ overly-saturated minds to take action and make the move you desire?

Some studies show that most Americans are exposed to 4,000 to 10,000 advertisements each day, but less than 100 of those actually make it past the “attention wall”. So, what does this mean for us? It means we have very little time, a small amount of consumer grace, and sales that weigh on every word.  Words tell people who you are, what you offer, and your brand’s personality. And more importantly, they tell the audience whether you’re the kind of person or business they want to work with or buy something from. It may seem petty, but one thoughtless ad can destroy a consumer’s perception of who you are. Equally as important, an automated email campaign that can take someone from a prospective customer to a loyal fan girl with the appropriate content can become an invaluable tool.

Every word you use has to be carefully selected to ensure your brand is prominent and your heart is truly reflected.
Every word on the subject line of your company email.
Every word in the copy on your website.

It all matters. It all carries weight.

There are no neutral words, so let’s think through every single one of them. Trust me. I bet you Donald and Hillary wish they had.

 

A New Chapter

As most of you know, over 3 weeks ago I resigned as the Senior Pastor of Cross Point Church after having started and led the church for 14 years. It was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I love that church and absolutely everything it stands for. I have years of incredible memories and hundreds of experiences I’ll never forget. I’ll be forever grateful that so many trusted me enough to allow me to be a small part of their life story.

The decision may have seemed quick to some, but I can attest to the fact that it was not. For some time now I’ve felt this general feeling that I was out of season. That it was time for something different.

I believe we have seasons in life. And not just the “big chapters” like high school, college, getting married, or retirement. There’s also seasons inside of those chapters.

One of the keys of life is knowing when you’ve overstayed a season. Maybe something just isn’t as enjoyable  as it used to be or maybe you’re not as good at it as you once were. Maybe the tasks that once brought you joy now seem to drain you, leaving you empty. Maybe God puts a new dream on your heart or shuts a few doors along the way. Whatever the circumstance, you know that your season is coming to a close.

Leading out of season left my soul with a desire for rest and quiet. So I’ve spent a lot of time in the past few months in silence, including taking several weeks off before my decision. And the silence wasn’t empty. It was actually filled with answers.

Here’s some reminders and lessons that were revealed to me  in this season:

– I love starting things and I have a true entrepreneurial spirit.

– I have a passion for the local church.

– I love caring for and protecting the hearts of other pastors.

– I must choose love, forgiveness and hope regardless. I’ll never regret choosing them.

– I want to invest my time in something that is going to make a difference in this world. 

So, I have been trying to digest all of the things that God has been putting on my heart and incorporate them into this new chapter in my life that is about to begin. Blank chapters can be scary. Especially when your prior chapters have been full of amazing and unexplained moments of being used by God in ways you could have never imagined.

For the first time in 20 years I’ve been asking the question, “What do I want to do with my life next?” And I found an answer.

I’ve accepted a position as the President of The A Group; a Nashville-based nonprofit/church marketing agency, geared towards partnering with churches, nonprofits, ministries and faith based organizations to increase their impact. I have known Maurilio Amorim, the CEO, since I was a kid and The A Group has been a great marketing and technology partner of Cross Point since day one.

My focus will be to take the lessons I’ve learned in the past 20 years of ministry and leadership and help other pastors and ministries navigate the often unpredictable and challenging waters of ministry.

A couple of weeks ago I was reading a book entitled Essentialism, by Greg McKeown, and there was a little story that stood out to me.

McKeown wrote, “Jim Collins, the author of the business classic Good to Great, was once told by Peter Drucker that he could either build a great company or build great ideas, but not both. He chose ideas. As a result of this trade-off, there are still only three full-time employees in his company, yet his ideas have reached tens of millions of people through his writing.”

God allowed me the experience of a lifetime by being a part of Cross Point Church. I now have the honor of taking all I’ve learned in my time there, and partnering with hundreds of churches and ministries to help them reach their full potential.

Like many of you, I find myself in a season I didn’t expect. There was a part of me that thought I’d be at Cross Point forever. But God had different plans, and I’m fully embracing those, and actually crazy excited about the future. When you place your life in God’s hands, it’s amazing how often what feels like an ending is actually a beginning. 

I’m so looking forward to staying in touch with so many of you via social media as we continue to share our lives with each other. For those of you who are pastors and ministry leaders who are trying to figure out next steps, staffing issues, growth barriers, donor development or message series planning: I, and my team at The A Group, would love to partner with you. I look forward to serving so many of you and am beyond humbled by all of your support in this new chapter.  

Some of my favorite lyrics…Lord, I need You, o…

Some of my favorite lyrics…

Lord, I need You, oh I need you. Every hour, I need You. My one… instagram.com/p/BKf9sj2go66/

Follow Your Own Path

I’ve been thinking about ‘paths’ lately and I haven’t been able to get this out of my head. So many of us focus on other people and what they’re doing in life, instead of focusing on ourselves and the path God has for us. This struck me:

When we follow Jesus, we’re all following the same Person, but we’re not all following the same path.

There’s such a big temptation for us to focus on everyone else’s path instead of our own. When we focus on someone else’s path, we start questioning things.

Why don’t I have that giftedness?

Why aren’t my parents still married?

Can you believe he’s dating her?

Can you believe she’s wearing that?

There’s a story in John 21 where Jesus tells us to embrace the path we’re on. Don’t worry about someone else’s path.

John 21:18-22 “I tell you the truth, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked; you dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will dress you and take you where you don’t want to go.” Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him, “Follow me.” Peter turned around and saw behind them the disciple Jesus loved — the one who had leaned over to Jesus during supper and asked, “Lord, who will betray you?” Peter asked Jesus, “What about him, Lord?” Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”

Jesus did not come just to forgive you. He didn’t come just so you could go to Heaven. He came to redeem you. He came to give you purpose. And He invites us to follow Him. To be obedient to the path he’s put us on. What’s the next right thing to do on your path?

I don’t know what the next right thing is for you to do on the path God has put you on. I know what the next right thing is for me on my path. And I know that if I focus on your path and start to get judgmental and envious of your path, in that moment I’m not living the life that Jesus has for me.

The path God has called you to travel is uniquely for you. Nobody else can walk that path but you. I saw this video and I laughed so hard – it’s a good reminder for me to not worry about your path, but to focus on mine.

Remember the Sabbath

It’s funny, but when I was growing up I always thought the “Sabbath” was some legalistic rule used to force us to go to church.

 

Exodus 20:8 Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.

 

In reality, the fourth commandment, to take a Sabbath, a day each week, and not do any work was a gift from God to His people.  In Egypt, the Israelites were forced to work every day without a break.  They were treated as objects. They were exploited. Many people believe that part of the reason the Sabbath was commanded was to remind them that they aren’t in Egypt anymore, that their value doesn’t come from how much work they can produce. Their significance comes from the God who rescued them, the God who loves them.

The original purpose of the Sabbath was for people to cease from their labor (as God did on the seventh day) so that he can rest, be revived, and remember their God had redeemed them. Let’s take a day this week and do just that.

Lose the Illusion of Someday

There’s a part of Exodus where the Israelites have been living in slavery for a long time–for centuries–and they want freedom.

Moses has been selected by God to lead the Israelites into freedom but frankly they don’t have much bargaining power. Pharaoh didn’t want to let them go because they were his slave labor.

So God gives Moses some very powerful bargaining chips known as the plagues to kind of level the playing field. In one of them the water in Egypt turns to blood.  Other plagues involve gnats, flies, locusts, and boils. And in the midst of all this, one of the most memorable plagues is written about in Exodus 8, starting with verse 6.

Exodus 8:8-10   (8) Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron and said, ‘Pray to the Lord to take the frogs away from me and my people, and I will let your people go to offer sacrifices to the Lord.’(9) ‘Moses said to Pharaoh, ‘I leave to you the honor of setting the time for me to pray for you and your officials and your people that you and your houses may be rid of the frogs, except for those that remain in the Nile.’ (10) ‘Tomorrow,’ Pharaoh said. Moses replied, “It will be as you say, so that you may know there is no one like the Lord our God.” 

You want to ask Pharaoh one question: “What are you thinking?” You get the picture. The frogs are out of control. The Bible says they were in the palace, in Pharaoh’s bed, in the houses of the officials and the people.

The frogs are everywhere. Yet when Moses offers to get rid of them, what is Pharaoh’s response? “Tomorrow.”  What could possibly motivate the man to wait until tomorrow if he could resolve the problem today?

Why spend another night with the frogs? If you look carefully, Pharaoh’s behavior isn’t so unusual. I’ve been there myself. I’ve done that.  I’ve seen other people do that. They settle for another night with the frogs.

Moses said to Pharaoh, “You don’t have to live with the frogs anymore, Pharaoh.  Say the word, and they’re history. Are you ready? Are you ready? Say the word.”

“Well,” Pharaoh says, “but then, I’d have to give up my labor force. I’m not ready for that.

Maybe if I wait, the frogs will go away.

Maybe they’ll all hop to Assyria.

Maybe the Frog Fairy will come and make them all disappear.

I want you to get this. Pharaoh has learned that he can live with the frogs. He can tolerate a frog-saturated life. It’s not a great life. There’s not much joy in it, but he can survive.

Many of you have chosen to live a frog-saturated life. You’ve learned you can put off some of the most important things in life. You’ve learned to hide behind the fear of “what if” and illusion of “someday”.

So this week, whatever you do, decide now to stop procrastinating. Make that phone call. Forgive that person. Sign up for that cooking class. Stop saying “someday” and do what needs to be done now.

You Have One Job

Deep inside every follower of Jesus is a desire to have a visible, lasting impact in the world. You want to produce fruit. You want your life to matter. You want your life to count for something great.

This desire for lasting impact is not our idea; it is God’s. In John 15, Jesus announced that He chose and appointed us to bear fruit:

John 15:4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

There’s just one thing a branch is supposed to do. Did you catch the word that kept coming up? It’s “remain.” I love the older translation of this word: abide.

Here is your job. From one moment to the next, keep receiving this unceasing flow of life and nourishment and love from God. And if you abide, or remain, the fruit will come. But, if you don’t stay plugged in, if you allow your life to be dominated by the noise and directed by the busyness, transformation will never happen and you will never walk to this rhythm Jesus has for you.   

You have one job in your spiritual life: Abide.

Trying to Fit Into Society’s Expectations

The Bible cites so many examples of women who were used by God to make a real impact on history.

In Judges 4, during a particularly depressing time in the history of God’s people, there was a real leadership crisis.

And everyone was crying out for God to take action and so God did. He called a woman, named Debra, and he assigned her to the top leadership position in the land and used her to engineer a political and military turnaround that eventually led the nation into 40 years of peace and prosperity.

God knew how He had made, gifted and equipped Debra. He knew that she could handle that assignment. Debra didn’t resist God’s assignment by asking,

“What will men think?”

“What will other women think?”

“Will it fit with the cultural expectation?”

She just broke right out of that mold, took her cues from God and was powerfully used by God to alter the course of the history of God’s people.

What if we rejected the notion of a single appropriate mold – a mold defined by men, a mold defined by other women, or a mold defined by society. Break out of that and do what God created you to do. Follow your passions. He gave those to you.

The Will of God

So much of my life I thought I had to figure out God’s will. That it was this big secret. And I learned that God’s will was there all along for me, written in His word.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God; be holy; be set apart.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Paul is telling us to live the life that God has called us to. Be conformed to God’s dream for your life, not the expectations of society.

For many of us, for so much of our lives we thought that God’s will, once we figured it out, was going to tell us which college to go to. How many kids to have. Whether or not to quit our job to pursue something else.

You want to know God’s will? Rejoice always. Pray. Give thanks. Be holy. Be set apart. Be different. Think about these things, not trying to figure out the future before it even happens.