Mark Myers's Blog, page 11

Three is not Enough

While we sat together at dinner we were introduced to a nice, older lady. When the girls’ names and ages were given, she seemed somewhat overwhelmed. “No boys?” She asked. If I had a nickel… I shook my head, “Nope, all girls.” “Three girls! Wow. You’re a good man.” Picking up my fork, I thought […]

Name This!

Tonight’s game is Name That Product –  where we try and guess the name of an item Walmart thinks I need. I truly have no idea what it is, but it was in my newsfeed. My entries are: Not your mamma’s Chastity Belt Easy-Peesy   Best answer wins nothing but a digital pat on the […]

Father Doesn’t Always Know Best

When kids outnumber their parents, something strange happens. There is a sadistic magic that multiplies their messy hands while shrinking our arms so that everything soiled is slightly out of reach. And the children are everywhere at the same time like little wind-up toys that rumble this way and that – only kids never power […]

Funday, Bunday

Everyone’s home for summer! At my house that means late nights, excessive noise, empty pantries, and lots of making fun of dopey dad. It also means the home movies come out. We love our home movies. The girls can watch them for hours as if binge-watching a Netflix series. Me, I usually get a little […]

A Whole Lot of Underwear

What is the genesis of underwear? When did this start? Sure, if you happen to be wearing a suit of armor, I understand the need of a layer of clothing to protect the skin from chaffing. But besides the knight, who needed it? And why is it considered a mandatory article of clothing today? I’ve […]

A Counterintuitive Confluence of Cars

If you’ve lived in Atlanta long enough, you’ve sat on its maze of underdeveloped highways with thousands of your closest friends. Traffic here is a nightmare and it is only getting worse because people keep coming. Recently, we had a situation that brought the city to its knees: part of the interstate burned down. How […]

What We’ve Been Missing

I love this picture. Like many pictures these days, it was posed. We set it up to send to our children on the family text and trick them into thinking we bought a puppy at auction. The immediate response? “Yeah right. But it’s so cute!” But when I looked at it later, I saw something […]

Straining against the Stones: The Story of the Little Tree

The sight of the sun peeking over the horizon gladdened the little tree. He stretched his branches in greeting and tried to rouse his cohorts, but they slept on. They always slept – their minds as captive as their roots in the tiny pots that held them. But the little tree looked beyond the pot […]

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie – A Cautionary Husband’s Tale

If you give your wife a gallon of paint, she’ll probably hand you the brush. When she hands you the brush, she will likely want the bathroom painted quickly. When the bathroom is painted, she will notice the rust on the shower curtain rod. Once the curtain rod is new, she’ll say it needs a […]

The Squeezing of the Sphere

We learn a great deal about ourselves when we are thrust outside our routine. Our true nature tends to hide behind habitual events until something out of the ordinary forces it out into the open. And then, sightly or unseemly, we must deal with who we are – our true selves, in plain view for the […]