Jean Reidy's Blog, page 28

Critique Questions for the Average Joe ... Or Mike!

So I'm revising a middle-grade manuscript and my critique group made some assumptions about my story based on my first chapter -- that were completely incorrect.

While the corrections seemed like easy fixes, I wanted to make sure I had indeed fixed the problems. However, my crit buddies were no longer fresh readers. They now had information from subsequent chapters and our discussions that would sway their perceptions. So even if they reread my pages I wouldn't REALLY know if I had fixed my opening chapter.

Enter my husband.

Now Mike isn't much of a fiction reader. And he rarely reads kidlit. But I figured with his fresh eyes, I could conduct a little experiment PLUS see if my fixes had indeed worked.

So I had him read my first chapter. I told him not to edit it or change it in any way or ask me any questions. But I did tell him that when he finished to immediately turn the manuscript face down.Then I asked him the following questions.

1. Who is the main character? What's his/her name? How old is he/she?

2. List 5 words that would describe the main character.

3. Now describe the main character in 3-5 sentences.

4. What is the time and place setting of the story? When was that absolutely clear?

5. Who are the most important secondary characters thus far? What are their names and ages?

6. For each secondary character named in 5 above, list 3 significant characteristics.

7. Does my main character have a problem yet? If so, what do you think it is?

8. Is there anything at all that's frustrating you in an annoying way rather than a "I want to read on to figure this out" sort of way?

Once we went through the questions, I compared Mike's answers to what I expected from my fresh reader. Did my expectations match his answers? Pretty much. But they left me with a little more work to do on setting.

Overall, it's a quick exercise. Bonus: It's pretty easy to ask anyone to do at any time. So after I make a few changes I'll put it out there again. And see if I can finally get a perfect match.

More ... on Rhyming Picture Books

I've gone on and on, in the past, about lining up loads of fresh readers for your rhyming picture books in order to make sure your verse rolls right off the tongue and that no rhyme or rhythm trips your reader out of your story.

But I haven't spoken much about when to rhyme.

I've used vague parameters like:
Does the story have to rhyme?
Is it somehow made better because of the rhyme?

I recently critiqued a funny, funny picture book manuscript in which the rhythm and rhyme scheme were nearly perfect. This author was obviously comfortable with poetry and had a great ear for it. The premise was absolutely darling and the illustration potential rich. And while the text was perhaps one verse too long, I didn't see the common rhyming PB manuscript problem of adding hundreds of words for the sake of the rhyme.

But something was bugging me. Hmmmmm ...

So I had to wonder if in this very funny story, the perfect rhyme was making it feel almost too ... um ... perfect. I wondered if, as it flowed out like a song, it was losing the clever quirkiness that the premise inspired. In other words, while the rhyme was perfect, was the rhyme fitting the story?

Then just last week I revisited a manuscript that has aroused some interest from one of my editors. I've refrained from submitting it because it wasn't feeling quite right. My main character's one-sided conversation was falling flat. And while the premise and possible pictures were working, the text lacked the energy that matched the story.

The opening line/title that caught my editors attention had a certain punch and rhythm. The scenes had a cause and effect thread that lent well to a bit of repetition. That's when I decided, this story needed to rhyme.

But I worried that in the perfection of the rhyme, I'd lose that clever quirkiness that the premise inspired. Sound familiar?

That's when it becomes about voice and word choice. Whether you write in poetry or prose, your tone must match your story. So as I built verse after verse around my narrative, I was careful to choose snappy, cropped kid words that reflect my MC. My goal - that the story rolls along, scene after scene, antic after antic in a completely readable romp and the rhyme disappears.

Because after all, it's not about being a brilliant poet right? It's about a kid loving a book and sometimes not even being aware of all the many reasons why.

For more today on rhyming PBs, check out Tara Lazar's blog.

TOO PURPLEY! featured on the Martha Stewart Show!

 A Purple Party indeed! Here's the link.

Hannah reads TOO PURPLEY!

A sweet mom was kind enough to share her little reader with me



"Too Matchy! That's so sad."

Cover Reveal: TIME (OUT) FOR MONSTERS!

Coming out in July from Disney Hyperion!About a kid stuck with only his HUGE imagination in the time out corner.

Jean's Spring 2012 Appearances

[image error] Oh goodness! I hope I have time to write. I'm thrilled to be visiting:

2/3/12         CCIRA Session # 410 1:30-2:30 What's Love Got to Do With It?

2/3/12         CCIRA RMC-SCBWI Booth #73 2:30-4:30 Visiting and Signing

2/27/12       Good Shepherd Catholic School Denver

3/7/12         World Read Aloud Day Special Guest Reader and Skype Sessions

3/21/12       St. Mary's Academy

3/24/12       Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore

3/26-3/30   South Bend Schools

4/1-4/15      The IRS

5/3/12         Skyview Academy

5/8/12         Windsor Public Library

5/12/12       Picture Book Panel Tattered Cover Highlands Ranch (TBD)

6/1/12         REACH Conference Presenter

6/8/12         Bookworm Bookstore Edwards Colorado

The TOO PRINCESSY! Boredom Buster Winners are ...

... posted right here!

Congratulations to all!

And don't forget to explore all the ideas for some cabin-fever creativity!

World Read Aloud Day coming March 7th!

Celebrate the Power of Words and Stories and Take Action for Global Literacy with LitWorld
Worldwide at least 793 million people remain illiterate. Imagine a world where everyone can read... 

On March 7, 2012, LitWorld, a global literacy organization based in New York City, will be celebrating World Read Aloud Day. World Read Aloud Day is about taking action to show the world that the right to read and write belongs to all people. World Read Aloud Day motivates children, teens, and adults worldwide to celebrate the power of words, especially those words that are shared from one person to another, and creates a community of readers advocating for every child's right to a safe education and access to books and technology. By raising our voices together on this day we show the world's children that we support their future: that they have the right to read, to write, and to share their words to change the world.

To learn more about LitWorld and to register to participate in World Read Aloud Day, please visit: http://litworld.org/wrad

Please join the Facebook Event:
facebook.com/events/301240826588459/

My post on rhyming picture book tips will be coming soon!

Why has the Romp been quiet?

Because I have another blog commanding my attention until 2/29/12.

That's the TOO PRINCESSY! Boredom Buster Blog.
Stop on by.
Get ideas.
Send ideas.
Be entered to win prizes!
It's as simple as that.

Then in March, I'll be back to posting here. And the first post will be a bit of rhyming picture book advice from the last Picture Book Peek Week.

See you then, if not sooner over at the other blog.
Jean

TOO PRINCESSY! PICTURE BOOK PEEK February 6th!

TOO PRINCESSY! is out and "pinking up" bookstore and library shelves everywhere. 

"Bright colors and high visual energy match the quick verse ... observers will be tickled that as hard as this girl clings to her indefatigable determination to be bored, she's actually having a quite a romp ... and kids will want re-reads."   Kirkus

Now that's something to celebrate!

So  I'm holding a

TOO PRINCESSY! PICTURE BOOK PEEK
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6THWin a free critique of a selected picture book manuscript. 
 
Here's how it works:
Sign up for a critique by entering your picture book WORKING TITLE in the comment section of this blog post anytime (midnight to midnight Mountain Time) on February 6th. Titles submitted before or after February 6th will not be considered.

I'll throw all titles into a hat and pick 1 for critique.

Keep in mind:
* Manuscripts must be 1000 words or less.

* I accept only fiction.

* Please understand that I'm not an editor and will not be providing line-editing of your work. My critique will be comprised of suggestions for improving your manuscript. So please send me your most polished piece.

* The critique winner must e-mail me his/her manuscript as a Word attachment within 48 hours of the announcement . Manuscripts will be kept completely confidential. When I receive the manuscript, I'll let the author know when they can expect my critique.

* As with any art form, likes and dislikes are entirely subjective. Please understand that my critiques are only one reader's/writer's opinion. It's always wise to seek feedback from a few different readers. If my ideas resonate with you, they're yours to use. If you disagree, I encourage you to compare my comments with those of other readers. But in the end, it's your book. Stay true to your vision.

I look forward to reading your work.
Jean

P.S. And don't forget to check out  TOO PRINCESSY!  right here!
"Jean's critique played a direct role in getting me an agent. What more can I say? She's an invaluable resource for kidlit writers." Tara Lazar, author of THE MONSTORE 
coming soon from Aladdin/Simon & Schuster 2013