Kyle Garret's Blog, page 2

The Ewingverse Avengers, Part 1: The Mighty

Starting with The Mighty Avengers, Al Ewing strung together a series of great Avengers books

Al Ewing should write the New Warriors.

Ewing excels at touching multiple corners of the Marvel U in a single series, something that hasn’t been done well for an extended period of time since the original run of the New Warriors. While I might focus on the Mighty Avengers being a ground level team of heroes, the kind who are focused on fighting in the streets and in their communities, Ewing never limits the series because of that.

There are too many toys in the Marvel U to just stick with  any one area.

There was a period after Jonathan Hickman left and before Jason Aaron took over that the Avengers books lacked focus. There were a bunch of new series introduced during this time, most of them short lived, all of them bogged down by line wide events. In Marvel’s defense, they appeared to be trying a lot of different angles, yet never gave the books enough time to find fans.

Writer Al Ewing was perhaps the creator who was trapped in this quicksand the longest, losing the most titles to boot.

Consider: Ewing’s run began with Avengers fighting Plunder and ended with the Avengers facing the First Firmament, the first universe to ever exist. That’s some impressive escalation.

Ewing ultimately worked on what were ostensibly three different teams of Avengers, each connected to the other, each tonally very different. If you think of it in terms of scope, each was a different level, each series getting progressively larger than the last. Taken as a whole they paint a really interesting picture, one that spans over 75 issues.

Mighty Avengers

The most glaring omission from the Hickman era is the Bendis era stalwart Luke Cage. It’s understandable, though, as Luke is a larger than life character who deserves screen time, and Hickman’s epic was already fairly bloated with characters. Better, then, to give Luke his own team that’s more in line with what he wants to do.

And what he wants to do is make a difference in the lives of regular people.

He’s joined initially by the new Power Man and the latest White Tiger, both of whom were most recently seen in Daredevil, a book that takes place on the streets of New York, not in outer space. They’re a good addition given what this team is looking to do.

They’re joined by Spider-man, in this case the Superior Spider-man, Dr. Octopus in Peter Parker’s body.

One of the unfortunate hallmarks of Ewing’s time on the Avengers is being laden with invasive continuity. This usually comes in the form of events, but in this case it’s having to deal with a dickish Spider-man. It’s not great, particularly if you consider how great Spider-man could have been with this group.

That said, an event is what ultimately brings the team together. The Infinity crossover has the main Avengers teams off world as Thanos and his Black Order launch an attack.

The team comes together to fill the void. Joining Cage, Power Man, White Tiger, and Spider-man are Spectrum (formerly Photon formerly Captain Marvel), Blue Marvel, and…Spider Hero. Yes, Spider Hero is ridiculous, but there’s a story reason for it. This is also a perfect example of how great the real Spider-man would have been on this team. Peter Parker’s wit regarding his replacement would have been delightful.

She-Hulk and Falcon eventually join the team as the series progresses, although neither gets the kind of time that the core group gets. This book is really about Cage, Power Man, White Tiger, Spectrum, and Blue Marvel, with Spider Hero supplying some heavy lifting with plot.

So while the Mighty Avengers become a rallying point for the people of New York City when Thanos’ Black Order attacks, the battle is quickly followed by a 70s style supernatural adventure (that’s a hint as to who Spider Hero really is). Ewing also pulls stories from the characters’ pasts, particularly White Tiger and Blue Marvel.

Ewing digs into everyone’s pasts to make their presents more substantial.

In particular, Ewing takes Blue Marvel to the next level, helping him become what should have been a prominent player in the Marvel U. He should be Marvel’s Superman. Marvel should fully embrace that. But no one else seems willing to even touch him.

Over 14 issues, Mighty Avengers is pulled into three Marvel events, Infinity, Inhumanity (barely), and Original Sin. Ewing and company make the best of what they’re given, but it clearly didn’t help sales enough to keep the book afloat.

But you can’t keep a good concept down, so after Mighty Avengers ends, Captain America and the Mighty Avengers begins.

Captain America and the Mighty Avengers

The concept that threads through the two books is that of a community outreach program. The Mighty Avengers considers anyone who is willing to help a member. They have a hotline set up and tips come in from around the city.  The Mighty Avengers aren’t just there to help the every day person, they’re there to empower them.

Unfortunately, the second series starts off much like the first in that it’s burdened with another crossover. This time it’s Axis and it’s much worse on the title than any crossovers before. Good guys are acting like bad guys now and the focus of this new title, Sam Wilson, the new Captain America, is starting his tenure as a bad guy.

It’s not great and it undermines the book from the very start.

Cage is also seemingly under the influence, although that leads into a bigger story involving the Beyond Corporation and a welcome change to Spectrum.

The Beyond Corporation is the big bad of the 9 issues of this series, but bare in mind that the first three issues are entangled in Axis and the last two are part of the “Last Days” lead up to Secret Wars. For those who are counting, that leaves four whole issues that Captain America and the Mighty Avengers are free to do whatever they want.

If you’ve been reading good comics over the last few years, you might recognize the name “Beyond Corporation” from the fantastic comic called Nextwave. One of the sticking points for many who read the title was the depiction of Spectrum. Ewing was able to find a balance between Old Monica and New Monica in Mighty Avengers and he embraces her past fully when they face the Beyond Corporation.

There’s also a bit earlier in the series that seemed strange at the time, but plays out when Spectrum changes her appearance. The scene involves a black woman, who is holding her daughter, telling Spectrum that her little girl models herself after her. The woman then says that, because of Spectrum, her daughter finally agreed to let her relax her hair. Power Man, another person of color, makes a sarcastic comment about Monica being an example.

The subtext here would appear to be that Spectrum is hiding who she really is in order to belong.

Monica’s hair wasn’t relaxed during Nextwave. In fact, it had never been portrayed like that until this series. When confronted with the Beyond Corporation, she embraces her past and lets herself be herself, including her time with Nextwave when she was a total badass.

While events tangled up both of these titles, the last event actually helps underscore what these comics were all about:

The series ends with Secret Wars, but the characters return after, this time on two different teams.

The post The Ewingverse Avengers, Part 1: The Mighty appeared first on KyleGarret.com.

What is ADHD Part 1: Not what you think

“You don’t act like you have ADHD.”

Our older son has ADHD. He had numerous assessments done and they all got the same results. The fact that I have ADHD really only helped us know what the signs are.

He recently started a camp with a teacher he hadn’t seen in a few years. He mentioned to her that he has ADHD.

She was surprised because he didn’t act like he had ADHD.

She’s a perfectly nice person and she’s not alone. Since the 1980s, a false image has been cultivated of what ADHD is, but I suppose every “new” phenomenon is misrepresented at first.

Look at climate change. People jumped all over the idea of “global warming” without the slightest concept of what that actually meant. But it was an easy way to digest it and, more importantly, it was an easy way to “disprove” and mock it. Record lows? Then there’s no global warming! But, you know, that’s not at all how that works or what global warming means.

So it was with what was originally called ADD, then ADHD. Attention Deficit Disorder, then Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. The addition of the H actually made the situation worse, not better. It only served to play up the stereotypes and falsehoods of what someone with ADHD is like or, more important, what someone WITHOUT ADHD is like.

Hey, you can sit still for more than two minutes, there’s no way you have ADHD!

The acronym in and of itself isn’t the problem so much as how little people know about the words that make up those letters.

Worse, ADHD came to prominence as it was being diagnosed in children, whose baseline for things like attention and activity is all over the place until they get older.

It’s more accurate to call ADHD Executive Function Deficit, although there are a number of neurodevelopmental disorders that can fall under that. But that’s what ADHD affects: executive functioning, the systems of the brain that manage the cognitive process. Basically, ADHD causes you to think differently than most people.

That kid vibrating in his seat? It’s entirely possible that they do NOT have ADHD. That kid staring out the window during class? They might not have it, either. That kid raising their hand to answer every question? That kid might actually have it.

The quiet kid? AHDH. The loud kid? Maybe not.

The specific aspect of executive function that ADHD impacts has to do with dopamine.

Most people know dopamine as the all natural feel good drug, but it’s impact isn’t always that overt. Dopamine influences the decisions you make, the tasks you take on, the effort you put in. The average person would never think that “lazy” could be a term used to (inaccurately) describe someone with ADHD, but that’s often the case. For people with ADHD, the simplest task can seem like the worst thing in the world.

Dopamine!

Does that kid really, really like answering math questions? Not only will ADHD let that kid answer away, but will, in fact, increase the amount of effort the kid puts into answering math questions. If answering math questions gives the kid a boost of dopamine, then ADHD says “answer ALL the questions so we get more!”

The problem is that since those of us with ADHD operate from a dopamine deficit. Something that would motivate others, something that would make them happy, might not appeal to us at all, or even might repel us.

All of that is to say that the “signs” most people attribute to ADHD are bunk. It also means the stereotype of a person with ADHD is bunk. It’s also a huge problem.

I didn’t get assessed for ADHD until I was in my 40s and even then it wasn’t my idea. My wife had been talking to her therapist about me and her therapist suggested that I might want to get checked out. Since I’m not so dumb as to ignore my wife — particularly when it regards something that could make our life together better — so I got checked out. And, lo and behold, my psychiatrist was like “um, yes, you have ADHD, without question you have it.”

After being diagnosed and learning more about it, I can tell with certainty that I’ve had ADHD my entire life. It’s clear as day to me.

So why didn’t I ever get checked out before?

See everything I’ve written above. I didn’t have any of stereotypical characteristics of someone with ADHD because those stereotypes are wrong. If it weren’t for all the misinformation about ADHD, I might have gotten tested far sooner in life. Even if my parents hadn’t pieced it together, I might have, which means there was a good 20+ years I could have been doing something about it.

Would we have even considered ADHD as a possibility for our older son if a) I didn’t have it and b) we weren’t extremely well read on the subject? I don’t know and the idea that we might have left one of our son’s major needs unaddressed out of ignorance and a belief in the popular narrative just hurts my soul.

You hear “climate change” far more than “global warming” these days.

Someone tell Al Gore we need a documentary.

The post What is ADHD Part 1: Not what you think appeared first on KyleGarret.com.

Album Review: “The Living End” by Sarah and the Sundays

A wonderfully sad happy record from Sarah and the Sundays

There used to be a genre of music called “progressive.” It was a precursor to alternative and is often referred to as “college rock.”

Progressive was understated in a way that alternative was over the top. Progressive songs were spacious and minimal. It was rare for a progressive song to have a big sound. It wasn’t so much that it was understated, but unfettered. Part of this was this was because, at the time — the mid to late 80s — technology was still limited. The core of a song had to do all the heavy lifting. Punctuation had to come in the song writing, not in dynamics. The “loud, quiet, loud” paradigm didn’t exist.

A lot of modern indie rock bands have embraced this sounds, this style of writing. It’s hard to pull off because it’s not a matter of making the music sound lo-fi — if anything, some progressive records were over produced — but making them sound organic. Here’s a bunch of people with some instruments sitting in a room and making music, but it’s not folk or country or even bluegrass. There’s still a plugged in sound to it, still an electricity that comes with rock or pop.

Sarah and the Sundays may have made the perfect modern day progressive record with “The Living End.”

Inevitable R.E.M. References

It’s probably not shocking that the band’s popularity has grown after they released their cover of R.E.M.’s “Losing My Religion.” There are certainly similarities to the two bands, from the bluegrass/folk influence to their pop sensibilities. Brendan Whyburn’s guitar sound alone…

But while those early R.E.M. records seem distant, full of abstract ideas and the treading of new ground, Sarah and the Sundays are more specific, in part because they can be. They don’t have to do what R.E.M. did. Their sound isn’t quite so unusual, but that doesn’t make it any less great.

Sarah and the Sundays has a leg up on R.E.M. with regard to that aforementioned pop sensibility, at least compared to R.E.M.’s early days. While both bands can create moody, atmospheric music, Sarah and the Sundays place the hook at the foreground, more so than early R.E.M. did.

Happy Sad Happy

“The Living End” was written during COVID, not long after the band went from being a long distance project to part of the Austin music scene. You’d probably be able to piece together the first part of that based upon the songs, as singer Liam Yorgensen regularly taps into the feelings of sheltering in place.

But the band doesn’t stick to those feelings, even if they reappear throughout the album. They use them as an entry point for other ideas, other experiences. A song like “I’m So Bored” could easily reek of privilege, but it suggests there’s more going on than someone who’s biggest problem is not being able to socialize.

The issue of mental health comes up repeatedly on “The Living End” and, for as effective as it is as a snapshot of the pandemic, it’s perhaps even better as the journal of someone struggling with their own brain. It’s not just a turn of the phrase, either (“here come the chemicals/it’s a bit of a nightmare” from “Coward” or “I’m just a psycho with spare time” from “Vices,” for example); the songs are nothing if not sincere. The music is coming from the band in such an organic way that it doesn’t feel like there’s any distance between the songs and the people.

“Veener” starts off like an aforementioned progressive song, but then drummer Quinn Lane lays down this slow disco beat and we get what is probably the first overt use of vocal effects we hear on the album. But when the chorus kicks in, it’s pure rock, albeit still focused on the hook of the vocals.

The variation could result in something that sounds like an experiment, but the transitions are organic, so it sounds natural.

If their cover “Losing My Religion” is a bit on the nose as far as their influences are concerned, “Miss Mary” is on the ears. It’s impossible to hear Declan Chill’s opening bass line and not think of The Cure. But the song quickly becomes their own, climaxing with the wonderfully catchy chorus: “Do you remember when I said I was moving on/Yeah just forget it/Do you remember how my life just went to shit/because I let it.”

The band also knows the tricky math of how much keyboard is too much keyboard, as Miles Reynolds seem to know exactly which songs need his keys and which need his guitar. “I’m So Bored” lives and dies by a ridiculously hooky keyboard part, but it doesn’t beat you over the head.

It’s hard to pick out just a few stand out songs from “The Living End.” The lounge feel of “Stick Around” is such a mood that it makes this album great by itself. The structure of “Pulling Teeth,” with its dynamic use of a scale, the wonderful 70s rock backing vocals, and the most emotive singing on the record makes it another gem.

It’s hard to find a song that drags or slows this record down at all.

You can get “The Living End” digitally or on vinyl.

There will definitely be a few songs on my 2023 music mix.

The post Album Review: “The Living End” by Sarah and the Sundays appeared first on KyleGarret.com.

Marvel Adventures Spider-man Spec Script

All characters are obviously copyright Marvel Comics.

I wrote this years ago because I was so in love with the Marvel Adventures line. All ages, self-contained superhero stories featuring the Fantastic Four, the Avengers (with one of the greatest line-ups of all time), and Spider-man.

Marvel Adventures Spider-man

“Bear Necessities”

By Kyle Garret

PAGE ONE

Big splash page of Spider-man fighting the Gibbon.  Grizzly is in the background looking ominous – we’re shouldn’t be able to tell exactly whose side he’s on, but the reader will most likely assume he’s a bad guy.  He should be towards the upper left corner while in the lower right we have the astral form of Dr. Strange.

Caption #1: Who are these ferocious new characters?

Caption #2: Will Spidey be able to save the day alone?

Caption #3: Will he be able to tell the good guy from the bad?

Caption #4 (maybe an arrow caption pointing at Dr. Strange): And what’s Dr. Strange doing here?

Caption #5: More importantly, just how quickly can we start making bad puns?

Caption #6: All this and more in a story we HAD to call

TITLE: “Bear Necessities”

CREDITS

PAGE TWO

Page Two, Panel One

Shot of a rather innocuous looking building in the middle of New York.  It should look fairly old, like a residential building or maybe one of those old college buildings.  It should not look like a modern business.

Caption: Mid-town Manhattan, midnight

Page Two, Panel Two

We open up with this shot.  It’s a man dressed as an animal – something like a wolf or a badger – sitting on the floor, a bowl in front of him.  It should be gold and held up off the floor by a metal frame of the same color.  There’s smoke coming out of the bowl.

Unknown magician: Yes!  YES!!  Fill me with your power!!

Page Two, Panel Three

Close up shot of the man’s face, as he’s overjoyed with the fact that his spell appears to be working.

Unknown magician: Give me your power!!

Off panel (behind him): Excuse me…

Page Two, Panel Four

Enter: Dr. Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts, Sorcerer Supreme!  He should be floating right on through the wall, but make sure to distinguish this from his astral form.  Going through the wall should be the result of a spell he cast on said wall, so go for magical energies there, linking back to one of his hands.  The other should be readying an attack.

Dr. Strange: I don’t think I approved any such magical incantations in the city tonight.

PAGE THREE

Page Three, Panel One

Wide battle shot here, as Strange blasts our guy, who has foolishly tried to raise mystical shields.  Strange’s blasts should be breaking them like their glass or hard plastic.

Dr. Strange: Maybe we should talk.

Unknown magician: No!

Page Three, Panel Two

Shot of the unknown magicians being tied up in the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak.  Make sure that bands are going around his mouth.

Unknown magician: Guhmmmfmm!

Page Three, Panel Three

Shot of Dr. Strange looking around the room, trying to suss out what this guy was up to.  Keep unknown magician in the shot, floating behind Strange, still bound, but struggling to get free – specifically, to get his mouth free.

Dr. Strange: What, exactly, were you up to in here?

Page Three, Panel Four

Shot of unknown magician, his head looking up as he has managed to get his mouth above the bands.  It should look like he’s trying to get his head above water.

Unknown magician: Go!

Page Three, Panel Five

Pull back as we see a fireball launch out of the bowl from earlier.  Dr. Strange should be falling backwards, startled, although he manages to maintain his hold on the unknown magician.

Page Three, Panel Six

Small shot of the fireball flying out the window, into the night.

Page Three, Panel Seven

Close-up shot of Dr. Strange (perhaps with unknown magician still floating in the background to establish that he’s still captured, but it’s up to you on how much space you have).  He looks concerned.

Dr. Strange: That can’t be good…

PAGE FOUR

Page Four, Panel One

Establishing shot.  It’s the next day, which needs to be very clear in this shot (the fact that it’s no longer dark should be enough, I think).  We’re outside of a convention center and a large banner is telling us that today is a special event: “Superhero For A Day!!”

Page Four, Panel Two

We’re inside now and on our boy, Peter Parker.  There are people walking past him going both directions.  More important, he’s walking past a row of people in bright costumes, all standing and posing, trying to look their best as potential superheroes.  None of them look that impressive, as these are all the second stringers.  Peter is lost in thought, reading a book as he walks.

Caption: Now that’s interesting.  How would have —

Page Four, Panel Three

Shot of Peter looking directly at us, but clearly looking at something ahead of him that has finally gotten him to pay attention to his surroundings.

Peter:  –that??

Page Four, Panel Four

There’s a large group of people in front of Peter, all looking towards the would-be superheroes, all very excited for some reason.  In the group is Flash Thomas and some of his friends.

High School Kid: Max!  You’re the best Max!

Flash: Max, you rule!

Caption: Flash?

PAGE FIVE

Page Five, Panel One

This should be a fairly big reveal shot.  We see four people standing and posing, all of whom appear to be finalists for the contest.  Each one has their superhero name across their chest.  From left to right it goes White Rabbit (a woman), Gibbon (big guy), Grizzly (Max Markham, professional wrestler), and Cobra (a smaller man).  The crowd is focused on Grizzly, who is clearly well known for his wrestling career.  There should be one small kid – maybe 10 — standing in front of Gibbon.

Caption: It’s Max Markham!  He’s a big time wrestler – even I know who he is!

Grizzly: Thank you, thank you, everyone!  I can only hope that being a superhero won’t be as hard as taking on King Diamond every Sunday night on channel 14!

Page Five, Panel Two

Side view of Peter looking at Grizzly and the crowd, although his eyes are looking over at the kid in front of Gibbon.

Caption: Looks like everyone’s here for Max…

Caption: …or almost everyone.

Page Five, Panel Three

The kid is looking up and Gibbon who does NOT look happy about the attention that Grizzly is getting.

Kid: What’s a Gibbon?

Gibbon: It’s an ape.

Page Five, Panel Four

Close-up shot of the kid, looking unimpressed.

Kid: So why don’t you call yourself “Ape?”

Page Five, Panel Five

Close-up shot of Gibbon looking particularly angry with that remark, glaring at the kid.

PAGE SIX

Page Six, Panel One

Peter steps in to get the kid out of the way.  It’s not that he thinks Gibbon will attack the kid, he’s just not entirely sure one way or the other.

Parker: Heeeeyyy, there, buddy, maybe it’s time you go find your parents, I’m sure they’re worried sick about you, and you shouldn’t be talking to strangers, anyway.

Page Six, Panel Two

The kid storms off.

Kid: Whatever.

Page Six, Panel Three

Peter looks at Gibbon, who is glaring right back at him.

Page Six, Panel Four

Peter turns away, preparing to head off.

Caption: Oooookay, then.  Someone doesn’t play well with others.  I don’t know what the criteria to win “Superhero For A Day,” but I don’t think the Gibbon matches it.

Page Six, Panel Five

Peter is walking away from the rest of the crowd and at this point we can’t really see anyone else walking near him.  We should be looking at him as if we’re on the side with the would-be superheroes, so we can see that there’s a wall on the other side of Peter (his right side).

Caption:  Funny how everyone seems to be an animal of some sort.  I wonder if that’s because of me –

Page Six, Panel Six

Suddenly, the upper body of Dr. Strange pops out of the wall – this is his astral projection form, so he’s all white like a ghost.  Peter is clearly surprised by this (but, as Dr. Strange is a good guy, his spider sense remains quiet).

Peter: Meeyah!

Dr. Strange: Spider-man, I need your assistance!

PAGE SEVEN

Page Seven, Panel One

We should reverse the angle here so that we’re on the other side of them, this time with Dr. Strange on the left and Peter on the right.  Dr. Strange is still half in the wall, half out.

Caption: Doctor Strange, magician most magnificent and generally creepy guy.

Peter: Geez, Doc, tell everyone why don’t you!

Page Seven, Panel Two

Similar as the last panel, but now Peter is frantically looking around to see if anyone was within earshot as Dr. Strange looks on.

Caption: Please please please let no one have heard that!

Dr. Strange: Relax, Peter, my astral form is in tune to your aura alone.  You are the only one who can see or hear me.

Page Seven, Panel Three

Shot of the two of them talking, although Peter still looks confused.

Peter: So I’m the only one who can hear you?  And see you?  Thank god.  Wait, does that mean I look like I’m talking to myself right now?

Dr. Strange: I would imagine it looks like you’re talking to the wall.

Page Seven, Panel Four

Shot of Peter looking back the way he came and seeing a woman pulling her small daughter away.  The woman has a concerned look on her face as she looks at Peter like he’s crazy.

Page Seven, Panel Five

Full body shot of Peter, his face in his hand.  He looks exasperated.

Peter: Ohhhh, yeah, should have seen that coming.

Page Seven, Panel Six

Return to something similar to the first panel on this page.

Peter: How do you know who I am, anyway?

Dr. Strange: I’m the Master of the Mystic Arts, Peter.  It’s my job to know these things.

PAGE EIGHT

Page Eight, Panel One

Straight shot of Peter, now looking somewhat flabbergasted by the situation.

Peter: So are you here for a reason other than making my life that much more miserable?

Page Eight, Panel Two

Our POV switches to Peter, so we see Dr. Strange head on, as if he’s speaking to us.  He’s still half in the wall, half out.

Dr. Strange: Last night I apprehended a minor wizard – a man of little consequence, really – but I was unable to reach him before his spell went awry.  I traced it to this building.

Caption: Of course.

Dr. Strange: In fact, I believe he placed the spell on one of the costumes they are using.

Page Eight, Panel Three

Shot of the two of them, Dr. Strange on the left, Peter on the right.  Peter is looking concerned, clearly ready for the worst.

Peter: What does the spell do?

Dr. Strange: It will give the user the innate strengths of the costume they’re wearing.  Not unlike, I might add, someone wearing a spider costume.

Page Eight, Panel Four

Full shot of Peter, throwing his hands in the air and clearly beside himself.

Peter: Of course!  Of course that’s what’s happening!  Because I’m me and it’s today and this is my life!

Page Eight, Panel Five

Peter and Dr. Strange both look back the way Peter came, a look of concern on their faces.

Off panel: AAAHHHHH!!

Off panel: Help!!

Note: Feel free to add any additional sound effects describing mass chaos and destruction.

Page Eight, Panel Six

Peter runs around the corner as Dr. Strange looks on.

Dr. Strange: Shouldn’t we be headed towards the commotion?

Peter (around the corner): My costume might not be magical, doc, but it’s still necessary!

PAGE NINE

Page Nine, Panel One

We cut to Spidey in all his costumed glory, swinging into battle, the astral form of Dr. Strange by his side.  This panel should be inset in the upper left hand corner, as the next shot will be full page and the third panel will be inset bottom right.

Caption: Please not the cobra, please not the cobra, anything but the cobra…

Spider-man: You’re not going to be much help like that, are you?

Dr. Strange: I can advise.

Page Nine, Panel Two

Big shot of the Gibbon causing havoc, knocking over tables and chairs and what have.  People are running in terror, including the guy in the cobra costume.

Gibbon:  Grraaaaaahhhh!!!

Page Nine, Panel Three

Shot of Spidey and Dr. Strange looking at us, although clearly in their world they’re looking at the Gibbon.  Spidey should look concerned (as concerned as he can look with his famous moving giant eyes).  Dr. Strange looks relatively calm.

Spider-man: Then perhaps you could advise me on how you stop a gibbon?

Page Nine, Panel Four

We should be close on Gibbon now.  We need to see his face and probably his upper body as well.  He’s clearly off his rocker with rage.

Gibbon:  Gaaaaaahhhh!!

PAGE TEN

Page Ten, Panel One

Shot of Spider-man and Dr. Strange getting read to launch an attack.

Spider-man: What’s wrong with him?

Dr. Strange: The spell has likely driven him insane.

Spider-man: Greeeeaaaat.

Page Ten, Panel Two

Spidey swings in feet first, hitting Gibbon in the face.

Spider-man: It’s time for you to back off, monkey man!

Page Ten, Panel Three

Close-up shot of Gibbon’s hand closing around one of Spider-man’s legs.

Page Ten, Panel Four

Shot of Gibbon throwing Spider-man away from him.

Page Ten, Panel Five

Shot of Spider-man crashing into a table and chairs.

Caption: Ouchouchouchouchouch.

Page Ten, Panel Six

Shot of Spider-man looking up from the floor.  He’s got one hand behind his head, indicating that he’s sore all over.

Dr. Strange is also here, hovering above him.

Dr. Strange: A gibbon is an ape, actually, not a monkey.

Spider-man: That’s really helpful, doc.

PAGE ELEVEN

Page Eleven, Panel One

Spider-man is running back into the fight.  We see webs coming from his wrists as he runs.

Spider-man: Let’s see how he likes the ol’ webbing in the face move!

Page Eleven, Panel Two

Shot of the webbing splatting in Gibbons face

Page Eleven, Panel Three

Shot of Gibbon yanking the webbing off.  He looks even angrier than before.  His face should probably be red here, both from the webbing and because he’s so mad.

Page Eleven, Panel Four

Spider-man, still in his web shooting position, stunned by what Gibbon just did.  Dr. Strange is in the picture now.  If we’re seeing Spidey from the side, Dr. Strange should be on the other side of him, facing him so that we see him head on.

Dr. Strange: That only seemed to make him angry.

Spider-man: Are you Master of the Mystic Arts or Master of the Obvious?

Page Eleven, Panel Five

The Gibbon has raised his arms over his head, ready to pummel Spider-man, who is calmly looking up at him.

Page Eleven, Panel Six

Pull back so we get at least their upper bodies in frame as Gibbon smacks Spider-man to the side, sending him flying.  This should be similar to Page Nine, Panel One.  This whole page should be similar to Page Nine, in fact.

Page Eleven, Panel Seven

Shot of Spider-man yet again lying on the ground after being tossed aside by the Gibbon.  Dr. Strange is hovering over him.

Spider-man: Déjà vu.

PAGE TWELVE

Page Twelve, Panel One

Shot of Dr. Strange.  He’s addressing Spider-man, but we should be close on him so it almost seems like he’s addressing the reader.

Dr. Strange: Spider-man, we need to contain this threat.  The longer he rampages, the less likely there’s to be anything left of the man he once was.  If we don’t stop him soon, he could be a mindless beast for the rest of his life.

Page Twelve, Panel Two

Spidey’s up now, although he’s squatting in a typical Spider-man pose.  He’s ready for action.  He’s also pleading his case to Dr. Strange.

Spider-man: It’s not like I’m not trying here, Doc!  I just don’t know if brute force is going to do the job this time around.

Off panel: Back off, man!

Caption: Oh, no…

Page Twelve, Panel Three

There’s Max, in full Grizzly suit, standing in front of the rampaging Gibbon.  He has his hand up in front of him, as if that will stop him.

Caption: Max!  What is he doing??

Grizzly: Just relax before this gets out of hand!

Page Twelve, Panel Four

The Gibbon pulls his arms over his head, ready to bring them down on Grizzly.

Gibbon: Grraaaaahhhh!!

Page Twelve, Panel Five

Spider-man swings in and rescues Grizzly just as Gibbon takes a swing at him.

Spider-man: Bad monkey!  No banana for you!

Page Twelve, Panel Six

Close in on Spider-man swinging away with Grizzly.  We should be able to see both of their faces (as they were) clearly.  Grizzly is surprised by what has happened.

Grizzly: That did not go like I planned.

PAGE THIRTEEN

Page Thirteen, Panel One

Spider-man and Grizzly land away from Gibbon.

Page Thirteen, Panel Two

Shot of Spider-man and Grizzly standing face to face.  Grizzly is much bigger than our hero, so he should be looking down as Spidey is looking up.

Spider-man: Are you crazy?  Forget that he can smash you with a pinky finger, I just tried that!

Page Thirteen, Panel Three

Grizzly responds in kind, not used to being yelled at by someone smaller than him.

Grizzly: Well I had to do something!  He’s already hurt the other contestants and if someone doesn’t stop him soon he’ll kill someone!

Page Thirteen, Panel Four

Spider-man returns the same.  We should be able to see most of his body in this shot.  He’s got his thumbs out and he’s pointing back at himself.

Spider-man: Hello, card carrying member of the superhero community here!  What do you think I’m trying to do?

Page Thirteen, Panel Five

Grizzly and Spider-man should be face to face here, both looking very serious.

Grizzly: Trying and doing are two different things.

Spider-man: Gee, thanks, Obi-wan.

Off panel: *Ahem*

PAGE FOURTEEN

Page Fourteen, Panel One

Spider-man turns to face the astral form of Dr. Strange.  There should be a wall behind him.  This is key for later and should stick throughout the next few pages.

Spider-man: What??

Dr. Strange: We need to remove the suit.  I think that will stop him.

Page Fourteen, Panel Two

Spider-man has his arms crossed and he’s tapping his foot while looking at Dr. Stange.

Spider-man: Oh, NOW you tell me, after I’ve been thrown across the room not once, but TWICE!  I’m going to start calling you Dr. Strangely-Willing-To-Withhold-Information.

Page Fourteen, Panel Three

Full body shot of Dr. Strange.  This is exposition mode, so his floating form should telegraph as much.

Dr. Strange: The spell is on the suit, not the man inside it.  The suit is the source of his power.  All we need to do is contain him and get the suit off him.  Once we do that he should return to normal, assuming we freed him in time.

Page Fourteen, Panel Four

Shot of Spider-man and Dr. Strange face to face, in full on plan mode.

Spider-man: Containing him is easier said then done.

Dr. Strange: I’m afraid that trying to get the suit off while he’s rampaging throughout the convention center would be far more difficult.

Off panel: Excuse me?

Page Fourteen, Panel Five

Spider-man turns to face Grizzly, who’s looking very confused.

Grizzly: Are you talking to the wall?

PAGE FIFTEEN

Page Fifteen, Panel One

This shot is from Grizzly’s perspective.  He’s looking at Spider-man, who has turned to face him and is gesturing the where Dr. Strange would be standing were he visible.

Spider-man: “No—it’s—he’s invisible!

Page Fifteen, Panel Two

Close-up of Grizzly, kind of averting his eyes from Spider-man with that “let the crazy man believe what he wants” look on his face.

Grizzly: Oooookay

Page Fifteen, Panel Three

Spider-man throws his hands up in the air, clearly fed up with how things have gone for the last, oh, twelve pages or so.

Spider-man: Fine, yes, I’m talking to the wall and it’s talking back!  Not only am I unable to stop a man in a monkey suit, but I am also off my rocker!

Page Fifteen, Panel Four

We’re back to an omniscient POV now and we see Dr. Strange interjecting into Spider-man’s ranting.

Dr. Strange: Spider-man, please, we need to get that suit off of him and we need to do it quickly.

Page Fifteen, Panel Five

Spider-man addresses Dr. Strange.

Spider-man: Well, Doc, can you ghost on over to the Baxter Building and get the Fantastic Four?  Because I don’t think I’m going to be able to contain Gibbon AND get his suit off.  And aside from your peppy dialog, you’re not much help.

PAGE SIXTEEN

Page Sixteen, Panel One

Grizzly interjects.

Grizzly: I can help.

Page Sixteen, Panel Two

Spider-man spins to face Grizzly.

Spider-man: Oh no, no, way, man.

Grizzly: Why not?  You told the wall you need help!

Page Sixteen, Panel Three

Shot of Spider-man facing us.  His hand is outstretched and he’s counting off points on his fingers.  He has three fingers up.

Spider-man: First of all, you might be a famous wrestler, but the Gibbon is way stronger than you.  Second of all, I was talking to Dr. Strange, you just can’t see him.  And third, I barely saved you the last time!

Page Sixteen, Panel Four

Shot of the three of them standing (and hovering) there, blank looks on all their faces.

Page Sixteen, Panel Five

Same shot as the last panel.

Grizzly: Was that a pun?

Spider-man: I pun when I’m about to throw myself into danger.

Dr. Strange: We really could use his help.

Spider-man: Fine, but if he gets smooshed it’s your fault.

Grizzly: Why would the wall care if I get smooshed?

PAGE SEVENTEEN

Page Seventeen, Panel One

Close shot of Spider-man’s face.

Spider-man: Let’s do this.

Page Seventeen, Panel Two

This is a shot of the three of them, Spider-man in the center, astral form Dr. Strange to his right, and Grizzly to his left, charging into battle.

Spider-man (yelling): Time to quit monkeyin’ around!

Page Seventeen, Panel Three

We’re back to the convention floor.  It’s completely empty, save the remnants of the destruction that occurred.

Grizzly: Uhhh…

Page Seventeen, Panel Four

The guys turn as a roar comes from off panel.

Gibbon: Raaaaarrrr!

Dr. Strange and Grizzly at the same time: He’s outside!

Spider-man (whispering): You two should take your act on the road.

PAGE EIGHTEEN

Page Eighteen, Panel One

Shot of the Gibbon, holding a car over his head, mass destruction all around.  I mean, we should see walls destroyed, piles of rubble, street signs, cars, parts of buildings, you name it.  He’s been busy while they’ve been yakking.

Gibbon: Grrrraaaahhhh!!

Page Eighteen, Panel Two

Shot of the three of them, standing united together, Spider-man in the middle.

Spider-man (whispering): Max, I’ll distract him, then you grab his feet.

Grizzly (whispering): Grab his feet?

Spider-man (whispering): Grab his feet.

Spider-man (yelling): Hey, you big ape!

Page Eighteen, Panel Three

The Gibbon spots them and throws the table at them.

Page Eighteen, Panel Four

Similar shot as panel two, but this time Grizzly is jumping off panel to the side and Spider-man is jumping off panel up as the car that the Gibbon was holding comes flying at them.  It passes harmless through Dr. Strange.

PAGE NINETEEN

Page Nineteen, Panel One

Spider-man is swinging above the Gibbon, taunting him.

Spider-man: You missed me, missing link!  Is that the best you can do?

Page Nineteen, Panel Two

We should be looking up with the Gibbon now (we should still see him in the shot) as he shakes his fists in the air at Spider-man.

Gibbon: Grrraaahhh!!

Page Nineteen, Panel Three

Spider-man is now standing right in front of Gibbon, tempting him to attack.  We can see Grizzly sneaking up behind Gibbon.

Spider-man: Man, you are a broken record!  Your dialog is worse than mine!

Page Nineteen, Panel Four

Grizzly jumps out at Gibbon, lunging at his feet.

Grizzly: I’ve got him, Spidey!!

Page Nineteen, Panel Five

Shot of Spider-man spraying massive amounts of webbing all over the Gibbon as he leaps into the air.

Spider-man: It’s time to get you out of that —

PAGE TWENTY

Page Twenty, Panel One

Big shot of Spidey in the air, yanking up with all his might on his web line and pulling the gibbon costume clean off of Gibbon.

Spider-man: — monkey suit!!

Page Twenty, Panel Two

The Gibbon, now only in boxers and socks, collapses to the ground, Grizzly still holding on to his feet.

PAGE TWENTY-ONE

Page Twenty-One, Panel One

Shot of Dr. Strange and Spider-man.  Dr. Strange’s astral form is starting to dissipate.

Dr. Strange: Thank you, Spider-man.  Now that the Gibbon has been stopped, I can finally rest in peace…

Spider-man: What?

Page Twenty-One, Panel Two

Similar shot as the first one, but now Dr. Strange has disappeared.

Spider-man: Doc!  Doc!!

Page Twenty-One, Panel Three

Again, similar panel as the one before, but now Dr. Strange, still in astral form, has blinked back, fully formed (as his astral form, that is).

Dr. Strange: Just kidding.

Spider-man: You’re a bucket of yuks, Doc.

Page Twenty-One, Panel Four

Spider-man and Dr. Strange head over to Grizzly, who is now on his knees and looking down at the fallen Gibbon.

Dr. Strange: I should be getting back to my body soon, though.  It’s not always safe to be away this long.

Spider-man: Tell me about it.  I can feel a monumental grounding coming on.

Page Twenty-One, Panel Five

Dr. Strange and Spider-man join Grizzly, now standing, all looking down on the fallen Gibbon, who seems to be fine, aside from knocked out.

Dr. Strange: It would appear that we got to him in time.

Grizzly: Man, people shouldn’t have animal powers.

Spider-man *ahem*

Grizzly: Except you, of course.

PAGE TWENTY-TWO

Page Twenty-two, Panel One

Upper torso shot of the three of them, left to right Dr. Strange, Spider-man, and Grizzly.  Spider-man is looking at Grizzly.

Spider-man:  You know, Max, you made a pretty good superhero.  I could barely contain my excitement.

 Dr. Strange and Grizzly: *groan*

Page Twenty-two, Panel Two

Similar shot as before, but both Dr. Strange and Grizzly are turning around to leave.

Spider-man: Then again, I don’t know if I could bare the competition.

Page Twenty-two, Panel Three

Close-up shot of Spider-man, enthusiastic about his puns.  He could have a finger in the air, as if he was excited about something.

Spider-man: And that costume of yours is bear-y cool!

Page Twenty-two, Panel Four

Shot of Grizzly looking back at Spider-man.

Grizzly: Can I be invisible now, too?

THE END

The post Marvel Adventures Spider-man Spec Script appeared first on KyleGarret.com.

Boys Are Rough, Right, Dada?

The other day my wife wasn’t feeling well so she stayed home from work. Our son noticed this, of course, and asked me about it. I told him that mama would be home when he got home from school, but that she wasn’t feeling well.

“I have to be gentle with her,” he said. “I’ll get all of my energy out at school so I only have slow energy when I come home.”

“Yes, always gentle with mama,” I said.

My son and I have established some boundaries with regards to rough housing. He’s four, after all, so he’s still figuring out the physicality of life. He wants to wrestle. He wants to run and jump and throw and hit. My wife is not a fan of this, but I love it. A big part of my relationship with my son involves physical interaction.

“I have to be gentle with mama,” he said, “but I can be rough with dada – because we’re boys, right dada? Boys are rough.”

It’s not often than you are aware of moments like this when they happen, but I knew this was important.

I would imagine that if I had said what my dad did when I was his age, the answer I would have gotten would have been “yes.”

I told my wife about it after the fact.

“Did you tell him that girls can be rough, too?” she said.

That’s a totally legitimate response and would have been a good answer.

That’s not what I opened with, though.

“You shouldn’t be rough with anyone unless they tell you it’s okay.”

That’s how I started.

“Daddy tells you it’s okay and mommy says it’s not. Boys and girls can both be rough, but only if they tell you they are okay with it.”

I decided to address consent first, which I suppose is the kind of thing that a guy would do. Maybe I should have started with sexism, but I felt like saying “girls can be rough, too” was letting a genie out of a bottle that I couldn’t pull back.

It would be like saying “you can burn lots of different things, but don’t do it!” I think it was important to establish that being rough with anyone without their consent was bad and then to point out that girls can be just as rough as boys.

Did I address the issue correctly? I have no idea. Will this one conversation with my four year old determine whether or not he respects boundaries as he grows up? Probably not. But it was good to lay the groundwork.

More importantly, it was good to introduce the subject, more so for me than for him, because it’s not going to go away.

Honestly, I’ve spent enough time around little kids to know that boys being rough is the rule, not the exception, while girls being rough is the exception, not the rule. But the goal is to consider everyone, not just rules and not just exceptions.

It was my first swing and I think I made decent contact. At the very least, it’s a start.

The post Boys Are Rough, Right, Dada? appeared first on KyleGarret.com.

My Awkward Assocation with Punk Rock Part 3

I ostensibly moved to Atlanta because the drummer in my last band had moved there a year early.  He, however, had a job at CNN lined up, whereas I had nothing at all.

Not long after I moved, one of the bands from my hometown came to Atlanta to play a show.  I went to said show and got to see a few people I went to high school with that I’d now known for nearly a decade.  The band, Party of Helicopters, was pretty well known in the “scene,” if you will, so their show was a big deal.  It was at this show that I met the king of the scene.

I don’t know if such creatures exist anymore, now that we have the internet.  I mean, we had it then, too, but most people I knew were still on dial-up, so it wasn’t exactly the go to way of staying in touch or getting music.  I honestly don’t remember what the king of the scene in Atlanta’s name was.  For some reason, I want to say Matt.

Anyway, we met at that one show and he was nice enough and since I was new in town, it was cool to have someone to talk to that was into the same things as me (or, in this case, one thing that I was into).

Not long after that, another band from my hometown came to Atlanta to play.  This was a little bit different because I was not only friends with these guys from high school, they were also some of my best friends.  They came to my place before the show, we all hung out after the show, they stayed at my place while they were in town.

Their van ended up breaking down when they tried to leave, so they stayed a few days longer while it was getting fixed.  The king of the scene even managed to set them up with another show.  I think the Party of Helicopters was there again for that show, so afterwards it was this fairly big group of “indie” people hanging out.  At this point, the king of the scene seemed to assume that, since I knew all these bands from my hometown and I liked a lot of the same music, I was going to be a part of the “scene.”

I distinctly remember having a conversation with the king about some upcoming event.  Honestly, I remember it as being a phone conversation about an event that was either that night or the next.  I told him I was going to miss said event and I don’t believe I had a reason for missing aside from the fact that I just really didn’t care.

He told me that it was the type of thing that I “had” to go to.  I remember him saying that much.  I don’t remember how direct he was, but at the very least the implication was that if I wanted to be a member of the “scene,” then I had to go to “scene” based events.

Needless to say, that was my last experience in the “scene.”

There’s something to be said for the timing of that.  It happened the summer of 2000, and I was spending
more and more time online.  It was the heyday of Napster.  I didn’t need to go to shows to discover music.  Hell, I didn’t need to know anyone to discover music.

Two years later, I moved to Los Angeles.  The first few years were difficult for me with regards to music.  I met a lot of people and made some great friends, but none of them listened to the same things that I did.  I began going to shows by myself, which ultimately wasn’t nearly as pathetic as I thought it would be.

During those years, my tastes began to change, aligning with where I’m at now.  I still listen to the recorded in a basement, angst and anger punk rock, but it’s not my go to music.  It’s music of a mood.  It’s no longer my every day music.

These days, my music has softened.  I’m indie rock.  That’s probably the best way to put it, as much as that might pain me.  I listen to earnest rock music by bands that don’t have mainstream success.  The songs are more accessible, but still challenging, probably more so, even.  I listen to more singing than yelling, although I still enjoy some quality yelling.

Slowly but surely, I met people who were into at least some of the same bands I listened to.  Nicole quickly came on board with a lot of my music.  We started going to shows.  We started going to shows with friends.  The Troubadour was the greatest place on earth.

Even this started to tapper off after a while.  I got old.  A show that went until 1 AM on a week day was exhausting.  My feet hurt from standing.  I wasn’t the angry young man I was two decades ago.  And I’m fine with that.

These days, I listen to Pandora and Soma FM to hear new music.  My friends on Facebook talk about their favorite new bands.  I share with Nicole the bands I think she’ll like and keep the others to myself.  Every once in a while, if it’s a band we both really like a lot, we’ll make the drive into the city to see them.  We’ll stay up late.

I’m not punk rock.  I don’t know that I ever was.  But I had fun dabbling.  I had fun dabbling and it got me to where I am now.

It was worth it.

The post My Awkward Assocation with Punk Rock Part 3 appeared first on KyleGarret.com.

My Awkward Association with Punk Rock Part 2

My punk rock journey began in part 1.

Solitary Refinement

I spent my freshman year at a small, conservative school not too far away from the state penitentiary. It wasn’t great. I was perhaps the weirdest kid on campus and I really wasn’t that outwardly strange. Finding like minded individuals was nearly impossible and finding anyone to start a band was a pipe dream.

My roommate moved to another dorm not long into the year because he said our dorm was too loud. He wasn’t wrong. We did like to party, but it was only a lot in the context of that school. Most of the time, I kept to myself. My Resident Advisor intentionally left my room off the list for vacancies, which meant I got to live alone the entire year.

I submerged myself into those mail order record catalogs. If I wasn’t in class, I was listening to music or playing guitar (or writing). The deeper I went into myself, the more obvious it was that I was in the wrong place.

I transferred to Ohio University, a much larger state school that had bars and clubs and people making music.

The Glory Days

I spent five years at Ohio University, three finishing my undergrad, two in grad school, and during that time I became a bizarrely active member of the “scene.”  I put that in quotes because I didn’t think such a thing existed, but often found myself in situations where I was planning shows that my band wasn’t even playing in.  The younger kids were really into creating a community, which was great, but I’ve always been a misanthrope, so going out of my way to organize social functions was very strange.

There weren’t a lot of “indie” rock bands at OU back then, and by default my first band, Middle Kittanning, became this strange kind of figure head.  A lot of that probably stemmed from the fact that we had a PA that other bands could borrow.  It also probably stemmed from my aforementioned involvement in the “scene,” as it were.  As if to firmly cement myself as part of this strange sub-culture, I got a job at a local record store.  Now I was that guy in that band who also worked at the music store.  I was defined by all of this.

I realize all of that sounds pretty arrogant and I don’t mean it to be.  We’re talking about a couple of dozen people in this so-called “scene,” at least at this point (it seemed to get larger as the years went on).  And Middle Kittanning really only filled a void left by the graduation of a band called Mr. Hand, who were a stark contrast to a lot of the garage rock that was going on at the time.  I was nothing special.  I’m just trying to make it clear at how completely submerged in this I was.

The kicker came in grad school when I moved into a house with other like minded individuals.  We had a basement full of musical equipment.  We were all in bands of one kind or another, if not multiple bands.  We had shows in our basement which bled out into parties in our house.  We became that house.  Every town has one of those houses, where the loud angry bands play through shitty PA systems and boys with patches and girls with pixie hair get drunk and awkwardly try to make out with each other.  We were that house.

The infamous 18 Oak St.

I remember a really nice kid from Memphis, new to OU, setting up a meeting with myself and another member of the house, to discuss the upcoming punk rock events.  I’d suddenly been roped on to the underground social committee.  A band once showed up at our house to play a show, but no one had told us (or anyone else).  They were on tour, so they just hung out.

Eventually, we even had recording equipment in our basement and a audio production major who could use it all (two, really).  Records were now being recorded there by bands from other towns.  It sounds arrogant to say that the house was a hub of some kind, but it really was.  I don’t remember there being a house like ours in the years previous.

A funny thing happened while my head was buried in all these things at OU: the music scene in my hometown of Kent, Ohio become a big deal.  Okay, that’s relative, but it seemed like every punk rocker’s eyes would light up when they learned where I was from.

I mention this because it became important when I finally left the nest, graduated from OU, and moved to Atlanta.

The post My Awkward Association with Punk Rock Part 2 appeared first on KyleGarret.com.

Top Secret #1: Writing is essential

This week I’ll be leading the very first meeting of The Top Secret Writing Club, an after school enrichment program for 4th and 5th graders.

I try to learn from everything, which is actually not as great as it sounds, because sometimes you end up looking for meaning where there is none. But I know I’m going to get a lot out of this club as I’ve already gotten a lot out of it before it’s even met.

Writing is everywhere

One of the things I want to emphasis with the kids is how important writing is and how it is everywhere. Most of them probably only consider writing to be the books they have to read for class. How many of them realize that the movies, TV shows, and video games they consume are all written by people?

What I found interesting was that when I tried to search for a list of all the various different types of writing, I couldn’t find one! What I got was listed that included things like expository, descriptive, narrative, and persuasive.

Any search I did along those lines kept returning results that were academic and formal.

It’s no wonder kids thinking writing is boring and hard. The way that it’s framed, it is!

It’s not like they get to a point where someone says “hey, you know all those crazy worlds in Super Mario Bros? A writer helped come up with those! And that awesome Pixar movie you love? That was a writer, too!”

I understand that kids have to learn the basics of writing to so that they can communicate. I get that. But that’s generally as far as it goes unless there’s some spark in that kid that motivates them to go further.

Writing isn’t easy. But it doesn’t have to be so hard. And it can be fun!

Common Core

I’ve been helping our older son with his homework for a few years now; most of it is math, which is understandable. I don’t have a problem with that. It’s often nearly as hard for me as it is for him because it’s Common Core, which is a different way of teaching and learning math than existed when I was a kid.

I’d heard a lot of horror stories about Common Core. Most adults seem to think it’s unnecessarily complex and far worse than what we did.

It’s not. It’s much, much better.

As my son’s teacher pointed out, the kids are now learning the “why” of things. We just memorized numbers and regurgitated answers. Common Core shows them how the sausage is made. It sets them up to more easily handle advanced math down the line.

It’s great. And since these kids are learning it this way from the start, it makes sense to them.

There’s no version of Common Core for writing, though.

I don’t expect a small writing club to change that, but maybe it can help. Maybe I can show these kids that writing is everywhere, writing is important, writing can be anything.

I think right now it’s only one thing and I think that one thing is often not very fun.

The post Top Secret #1: Writing is essential appeared first on KyleGarret.com.

Go Forth and Monetize

I think most writers have imposter syndrome.

It’s been made worse, for me, with my ADHD, anxiety, and depression, although those last two seem to go along with writing. But it’s hard to feel comfortable just saying “I’m a writer” if you’re using some imaginary watermark to determine if that’s true.

Do I write? Well, yeah, I’m writing this right now. So by the most inclusive definition, I am a writer.

Oh, but you need to have been published, says my stupid brain. Wait — I have been.

Sure, some small publisher, says my stupid brain. But you need to have been published more than once. Wait — I have! More than twice, even! And they were all different publishers!

Yes, BUT, says my stupid brain, you don’t make a living by being a writer.

Well, yes, stupid brain, you have me there. But very, very few people can make that claim, at least as far as making money through traditional publishing. But there are people who have done well enough through freelance writing for every web site imaginable.

Yes, says my stupid brain, they have to hustle and you don’t do that.

The Hustle

I am ill equipped to hustle.

I have a problem with even doing the most basic self-promotion. See: the above on imposter syndrome.

And trying to go from self-promotion to making a sale of some kind? I could never imagine.

This is coming from a person who regularly spends money on really stupid things, yet I couldn’t imagine anyone spending money on anything I do — and my stuff isn’t stupid. I at least have enough self-respect to say that.

I’ve also had a real issue with asking for people to pay for something that I think is important, as if attaching a price to it makes it seem like that’s all it is: a way to make some money. Isn’t that gatekeeping? Aren’t I denying access to some because I’m asking them to pay?

And then how do you even decide how much to charge? What is reasonable, what will keep people away for financial reasons, and what will keep people away for perception reasons?

My Failed Attempt at a Soda Stand Empire

When I was in middle school, I started a soda stand on the street in my neighborhood.

I say “soda stand,” but this was Ohio, so it was probably a sign that said “Ice Cold Pop” followed by a price. My mom fronted me the money for the cups, the soda, and some ice.

I lived in a new, upper middle class neighborhood that regularly had multiple open houses each weekend, so I figured one particularly hot summer day would be a golden opportunity to make my millions.

I remember a friend’s dad who taught science at the high school asking for no ice, apparently to show that he was wise to the ways of soda sales. The ice, as you might guess, meant that a can of, say, Coke, could “fill” multiple cups.

I had two friends help me with the stand, although that’s probably overstating it. They were friends who wanted to hang out and in turn ended up helping me. I never asked them to help, it just kind of happened. They didn’t think any thing of it. Of course they’d help if they were there.

When it was all said and done, I think I made a couple of bucks, and that included money I got from recycling the cans.

Part of the reason I made so little is because I paid my two friends. They didn’t ask me to, but I did it anyway, because they’d hung out with me all day and probably even made a few sales. But in my ‘tween brain, they deserved some money as much as I did.

My parents thought I was making a mistake, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

That was the first and last soda stand I ever had.

Value

How do you place value on a story? Or teaching kids how to write? Or getting someone to think or feel?

How do you place value on your creations, on your actions, when you’ve never placed value on yourself?

I suppose that’s what it has always boiled down to — self-worth.

Maybe it’s my executive functioning therapist, maybe it’s my new medication, maybe it’s the simple fact that I’m no longer a part of the corporate rat race, but recently I realized that asking people to pay for what I have to offer isn’t a bad thing and it’s not entirely ridiculous.

If you’ve been to this site before, you’ll notice some changes. I have paid content now. I have a store. You can even sign up for my Top Secret Writing Club. Heck, I even have a banner so you can pay for the site.

I’m doing all these self-promotional things, all these things to drive monetization, that I honestly should have started doing 15 years ago. But I was never in a place where I could.

There’s still plenty of free stuff on this site. There always will be.

But I’ve realized that making money from your work doesn’t have to be a problem and it doesn’t have to impugn the reputation of said work.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do what you love and still take care of those you love, says my stupid brain.

You know, you might not be so stupid after all.

The post Go Forth and Monetize appeared first on KyleGarret.com.

Young Zombies in Love, Part 2

Young Zombies in Love (part 1) by Kyle Garret from Best New Writing 2014

Part 1 of “Young Zombies in Love”

“Unnamed Adaptation of ‘Unrequited’” lacked romance.

Karen had never worked with zombies before. She’d never even considered them. She watched as many movies as she could, from Romero’s originals and all the remakes, to the various off shoots that pretended to be something other than zombie movies, but were just that. She watched the B-movies and the summer blockbusters, the serious takes and the comedic ones.

“I don’t really understand the mythology,” she said to Greg. He’d been home for two weeks now, no longer at the local psychiatric facility, no longer under “suicide watch.”

“What’s to understand?” he said. “The dead come back to life.”

“Well, yeah,” she said, “but why? I mean, it’s implied that radiation from a comet caused it, but that’s just pushing the suspension of disbelief too far.”

“Walking dead you can understand, but radiation from a comet is too much?”

“Of course it is,” said Karen. “The comet is a story in and of itself. Besides, the biblical allusions in all of these movies are pretty overt, so the comet angle seems unnecessary.”

“I guess,” said Greg.

“And is it a disease? One that’s spread through bites? And if that’s the case, what does that have to do with radiation from a comet? And how did the first zombies show up if they weren’t bitten?”

“Yeah, a lot of questions.”

“I’m actually surprised that something so vague would have such a following,” said Karen. “Although I guess that’s the appeal, like open source software.”

“I don’t know,” said Greg.

There was a time, when they were dating and even early in their marriage, when Greg would have jumped all over a conversation about zombies. He would have challenged every single point Karen made, answered all of her questions as best he could and goaded her into a debate so intense that it would nearly turn into a full blown argument. But that time seemed long past.

Karen had brought Greg back, but she wasn’t sure that she should have.

“Anything new?” said Greg. The fact that he’d taken such an interest in her new job was a positive sign, one that she should have found hope in, but that she nonetheless found bothersome.

“Not really,” said Karen. She was brushing him off. She didn’t want to, but it was her first instinct these days and she hated that. “I’m considering the zombies as characters.”

“Romantic characters?” said Greg with a smile.

“Right,” she said, “taking Bubba to the next level.”

“You’d definitely change the demographic appeal of the movie.”

“I have to think the necrophiliacs are going to a zombie movie regardless.”

“I like it,” he said. “’Young Zombies in Love’ has a nice ring to it.”

Karen laughed, not so much because she actually found Greg’s idea funny, but because she was taken aback by the fact that he just made a joke.

“I’ll run that by the studio,” she said, smiling.

“It has franchise written all over it,” said Greg as he started heading back downstairs. “I know what I’m talking about. I know my zombies and I know my romance.”

Karen plays with her hair when she writes. She strokes it in long, loving motions, as if it were a cat on her lap. Sometimes she twirls it with her finger, like someone pantomiming that she should get to the point. Periodically, she will run her palm over the ends of it like it’s a painter’s brush and she’s trying to remove excess paint.

If she were to hazard a guess, she probably spends a third of her time at the computer playing with her hair and another third surfing the internet. She is always amazed when she actually completes something.

Karen was determined. She loved “Unrequited” and refused to let the movie version exorcize its soul.
There was a place for love, she thought, even here. But she was having trouble picturing it.

Greg’s uncle had filled a void left by his father, a man made void with a specific shape. But when his uncle died, Greg realized that that void had never really been filled, and that his uncle had simply been a distraction, a distraction which now left a hole of its own. It wasn’t the holes that drove Greg to suicide, as much as the knowledge that those holes could never be filled.

Greg took time off work to fly back home for the funeral. That time off kept extending longer and longer until he was given an ultimatum: quit, come back, or be fired. He quit, a decision he made without talking to Karen.

Two weeks later, Karen was holding his head in the bath tub, trying to get him to throw up as she explained the situation to a 911 operator named Vanessa.

“Wait,” she said to herself. “Young Zombies in Love” was ridiculous, of course, except that perhaps it wasn’t.

Karen made a few notes on her legal pad, then flipped through her battered copy of the script. She had something. She had what she thought could be the fix she’d been looking for. She just had to figure out how to work it in and how many scenes she would have to change because of it. She also had to make the changes seem as natural as possible.

Only in Hollywood would a solution have to be shoe horned in and then made to look like it wasn’t.

“It’s great,” said Greg as he tossed the script on to the couch next to Karen. He did not seem pleased.

“You didn’t like it,” she said.

“No, actually, I really did think it was great,” he said. “You found the best solution; you’ll keep everyone happy.”

“O-kay,” said Karen. She gave Greg a questioning look, but if he noticed he ignored her. He had said everything he wanted to say, and walked back upstairs.

Karen sat, torn by her desire for peace and quiet and her all too common desire to yell at Greg. She wished she could just ignore him, just sit on the couch and watch TV, satisfied in the knowledge that she had turned what was a questionable, underperforming script into demographic hippie, open to the embrace of everyone and anyone. But Karen couldn’t have unresolved storylines. She picked up the script because she felt like she should have a prop and walked up the stairs to their bedroom to have an argument she didn’t understand, yet knew by heart.

Karen didn’t think it was possible for her heart to pound faster, but it does when she sees her house in the distance. She didn’t think it was possible to run faster, but she does. She is running for Greg’s life and she plans on telling him that after she brings him back again.

She wonders how determined he is. He wouldn’t try sleeping pills again. Greg is smarter than that. They don’t own a gun. Maybe he would hang himself. Could she bring him back from that?

She bursts through the front door because they never lock it when one of them is home. They would be the first to die, she thinks, if zombies were real.

Greg is lying on the couch. He is sprawling and unconscious.

“Greg!” yells Karen with a force she didn’t think she had left in her lungs.

Greg opens his eyes. “Karen?”

Karen collapses on their hardwood floor, the front door still open.

“Jesus, Karen,” says Greg as he jumps off the couch and hurries to her side. He kneels down next to her, wraps his arms around her. “Are you okay?”

“I ran,” she says between large gasps of breath. “You didn’t answer, so I ran.”

“You ran from the store?”

“I called…”

“Nap,” he says quickly. “I turned everything off because I was actually tired enough to take a nap. That’s all.”

Karen starts to cry.

“Karen, it’s okay,” says Greg. “I’m not going to…I’m not there anymore. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Karen shakes her head “no.” She’s trying to calm herself, trying to catch her breath and calm herself so she can speak.

Greg holds her close, trying to transfer his calm, regular breath to her.

She takes a deep breath and her entire body shakes.

“I’m sorry,” she says as she exhales.

Greg gives her a reassuring smile. Karen smiles back. She swallows and pats his cheek with her hand, looks into his wide open eyes.

“I’m sorry I made you a zombie,” she says.

“You killed me with a baseball bat,” he says.

“You like baseball.”

“I like you,” he says.

She smiles, a feeble, determined smile at odds with her tears.

“I don’t know what to do, Greg.”

“Nothing,” he says, glancing towards the still open front door. “I don’t know. Part of me feels like this is where I was headed no matter what.”

Karen stops crying and sits up. “And now?”

“I’m tired, Karen,” he says, as if it’s been just below the surface this entire time. “I’m tired of always thinking about what I don’t have instead of thinking about what I do.”

“That would be me, right?” says Karen, her smile now dominating her tears.

“God, yes,” says Greg.

As they kiss, Karen breathes deeply through her nose and her body shakes. She slowly lets the air out, her body relaxing, Greg’s mouth still there, still connected to her. She begins to smile despite herself.

“Now,” says Greg, as their lips separate, “I think you should take a nap with me.”

“I like that idea,” says Karen.

They stand up. Karen shuts the front door. Hand in hand, they walk up the stairs to the bedroom. They lie down together, wrapping themselves around each other, like a couple that had just started dating and had been up all night talking. There is plenty of room in their king sized bed and Karen pulls Greg around her, wanting to disappear inside him.

They fall asleep as if pressed up in a corner with no where to go but each other.

In Karen’s script, the female lead sees her ex, now one of the walking dead, and dispatches him after an emotional good-bye. She is then free to fall in love with the male lead. Karen will leave this in her script and the studio will love it and she and Greg will walk hand in and hand down the red carpet at the movie’s premiere.

And even though the leads die at the end, the studio will green light a sequel and they will ask Karen to write it, because this is the world she lives in, and because in it, something that has died can be brought back to life.

And she will be the one to revive it.

The post Young Zombies in Love, Part 2 appeared first on KyleGarret.com.