Marty Nemko's Blog, page 255

Come See Me Tomorrow? I'm doing my show "Odd Man Out:

https://www.dailyrepublic.com/all-dr-news/solano-news/solano-county-entertainment/bay-area-stage-benefit-helps-theater-company-audience/

Bouncing Back: Real-world tested approaches

Some people find it easy to rebound from life’s slings and arrows. Much of that is because of intelligence: the ability to learn and problem-solve quickly in many contexts. Resilience is also a function of drive: Some people, from the womb, are more driven than others.

But what about people who aren’t driven brainiacs? My PsychologyToday.com article today offers tactics have helped such clients of mine bounce back from setbacks:

4 Approaches to Change: advice-offering, rational-emotive behavior therapy, motivational messages.

He can’t stop pigging out. She can’t stop worrying. He can’t stop his substance abuse.

Even good psychotherapists (and advertisers) have a hard time getting people to change. It’s been said that it takes six to nine exposures to an ad to get someone to change their brand of toilet paper!

So, there are no magic pills yet. Best we can do, in our own lives and in trying to shepherd others to change, is to have a toolkit of interventions to draw from.  My PsychologyToday.com article today describes four widely used ones.

Marty Nemko's Show Odd Man Out: We're All Less Impressive Than Our Facebook Profile

We're all less impressive than our Facebook profile. I tell all in story and song, with my wife popping up through the show to tell me when I'm full of it--with my doggie Einstein comforting me, in my show Odd Man Out. One performance only: A fundraiser for a very worthy cause: https://bit.ly/2Wx2gko

32 Powerful Influencing Words,,, and 10 that are overrated

Much has been written on the art of influence, but many of my clients find such advice too difficult to implement. 

They’ve had more success in trying to influence someone’s behavior or attitude by, where appropriate, using the 32 words I list in my PsychologyToday.com article today.
 

A Debate Between a Rationality-Centric and Feeling-Centric Person

Of course, it’s easy to compromise and say, “Well, I'll live my life incorporating both rationality and feeling." But we all fall somewhere on the continuum, perhaps unconsciously.

If you’d like to make a more conscious choice about it, perhaps my PsychologyToday.com article today in which I offer fictitious debate between a rationality-centric and a feeling-centric person may be helpful.

8 Not-Random Acts of Kindness

Random act of kindness rarely benefit you other than the good feeling of giving. For example, you put a quarter in the parking meter just before the meter maid is about to give a ticket.  It feels good but doesn't otherwise benefit you. My PsychologyToday.com article today offers 8 acts of kindness that are more likely to.

A Career Misconception

A new client came in with a common misconception: She insisted that the way to land a good job is for recruiters to tap your LinkedIn profile. (from among the 600 million!)

That strategy, like all job-search strategies will sometimes work, but it’s successful mostly when a candidate is currently well-employed doing similar work, for a very-low paying job, or for a job in high demand that requires a challenging skill set, for example, data scientist. This client fit none of those. In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I describe a likely more fruitful approach.
 

The Case for Passionate Moderation

Except for people in our bubble, we often can’t talk politics without risking the relationship. 

Alas, if we can’t discuss divergent views, we must rely on the media’s view, which, alas, tends to be a view from just one bubble. Hence our exposure to ideas is truncated, and wisdom doesn’t reside only on one side of center.

And it’s important we talk politics. It dramatically affects our lives, from education to health care to national security, plus where and how redistributively our tax dollars are spent.

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I make the case for being passionate about moderation. 

Dying: Our Final Project

We all end by having to complete the same project: dying.

It’s all well and good to plan how we’ll do that final project, but I don’t think we can predict accurately. No less than Elizabeth Kubler-Ross who became famous for asserting that we all go through the same five-step process from denial to acceptance, herself never reached acceptance. My dear friend who at 90, in bad, bad shape, bought a revolver and said that if it got much worse, he’d shoot himself. Well, it’s a year later. he’s far worse still, and he’s still alive.

That said, it can’t hurt to describe how I hope I’d handle my final project. I do that in my PsychologyToday.com article today. Perhaps it will motivate me to stick with that honorable plan or inspire you or me to at least not die as badly as we otherwise might.