Marty Nemko's Blog, page 213

Making Learning Pods (Microschools) Work

 During the pandemic, many parents are teaching a few kids in and around their home. These are often called learning pods or microschools, Such parents may be doing it to supplement or to replace what schools are providing kids amid COVID.

“My Life Has Been Meaningless”

 A man said, “My life has been meaningless.” You might be surprised to know that he was a researcher who helped confirm schizophrenia's genetic roots. That has been one of psychology's major findings of the past 50 years.

I’ve had a number of clients, externally successful, who feel similarly. Yet many less successful people feel good about how they’re spending their life.  What might explain that? And how might such a person find some meaning?

When Speaking with a Dying Person

I have a long-time friend who now is very old, homebound, and spends most of his time in bed. He probably has just a few months to live.

Yet, except for the times he’s in bad pain, he manages to be upbeat. He still derives pleasure from our conversations, sometimes passionate, about politics, redistribution, and whether Popeye’s or KFC biscuits are better.

I’ve spoken with him every few days for a year now, as I did with my mom during her last year, and thought it might be helpful to share what I’ve learned about interacting with a dying person. I do so in my Psychology Today article today.

Savoring What You Can Control

Amid the pandemic and its economic fallout, it’s easy to feel out of control.  And our happiness is affected by how much control we have.

Fortunately, we have more control than we may realize. offers example, which, in turn, could help you attain a bit more happiness, even in these trying times.

Can You Love a Dog Too Much? Perhaps not

Critics assert that people who spend lots of time with their dog—hugging, playing, talking to the dog, let alone who say they like dogs better than people, have a problem.

When You’re Told, “You Could Do Anything”

When looking for a career, your friends and even a counselor might say, “You could do anything.” They’re trying to be supportive if not a downright cheerleader, believing you’re so bright and motivated that you could pursue virtually any career.

But often, that’s not helpful because it doesn’t narrow your choices. Or you may have doubts as to whether you can do anything or even one thing very well.

The questions I ask in may help you narrow to a wise choice of career:

Laziness: Its genesis, development, and amelioration

In

Address-and-Distract: An underappreciated tool for coping

COVID and the political and racial roiling can make an already stressed modern life cross the line into overwhelm.

For example, even if COVID hasn’t touched you, the fear fanned by the media and your seeing everyone in masks racing away from you if within 10 feet contributes to the discombobulation.

A perhaps under-discussed antidote to stress and overwhelm is something my clients and, okay, I, have found helpful: address and distract. I describe it in my Psychology Today article today.

Surviving and Maybe Thriving as a Contrarian

Some people grew up in a family that valued conformity. Other families venerated rebellion or at least making the case for a contrarian position: “Well, on the one hand X, but on the other hand, Y.”

Similarly, in some schools and colleges, students are pretty much expected to be conformist, to spout the orthodoxy. Perhaps you recall being tempted to make comments and write essays that comport with the teacher’s or professor’s bias. The tendency to reward conformity extends into adulthood: often in the workplace as well as in relationships.

It’s easier to go through life as a conformist. By definition, more people will agree with you. That both feels good and makes you more likely to make friends and to get ahead in your career.

But what if you tend to be contrarian? It is for those who are leading that more difficult life that my Psychology Today article today offers thoughts.

Four Career Musts in the COVID Era

 I’ll be giving a virtual talk to