Marty Nemko's Blog, page 205

8 Gifts for Personal Growth

At holiday time most years, I offer gift ideas for the psychologically attuned. Last week, I suggested nine presents for people who could use comfort in these stressful times. But some psychologically oriented people on your list want to go beyond just being comforted—They want to grow. Perhaps one of these gift ideas is right for them . . . or for you?  I will admit that one of them is the booklet I wrote that just was published today.

8 Presents for Personal Growth

At holiday time most years, I offer gift ideas for the psychologically attuned. Last week, I suggested nine presents for people who could use comfort in these stressful times. But some psychologically oriented people on your list want to go beyond just being comforted—They want to grow. Well, might one of these gift ideas be right for them... or for yourself?

Apps

Remente helps you choose a professional and/or personal goal(s) and then fit the baby steps toward achieving those goals into your schedule. You can also use Remente to track your mood, which can provide insight. Or you can browse Remente's curated courses on well-being, productivity, relationships motivation, etc. Remente is available across a wide range of platforms: iPhone, Android, PC and Mac. On GooglePlay (Android,) Remente's average rating is 4.2 across 10,264 ratings, and on Apple's App Store, it's 4.6 across 1,699 ratings. There’s a free version but the giftable premium versions are $10 a month, $49 a year.

Wysa has two components: a chatbot in which you talk out your feelings on whatever issue and the AI-augmented software responds, mainly to encourage you to further flesh out the issue and develop solutions. Wysa's other component is its Tool Packs: tips and activities for stress, anxiety, mood, loneliness, sleep, relationships, and so on. Wysa's GooglePlay (Android) average rating is 4.7 across 66,000 ratings and on the App Store (iPhone), it's 4.8 across 3,800 ratings. Wysa is $12 a month, $99 a year. Optionally, you can get daily messaging support and eight live sessions with a “mental health professional” for $99 a month.

Imprinted clothing

Imprinted clothing can remind you and others of your commitment to personal growth. As we enter winter, a sweatshirt might be particularly appropriate, like a growing plant, keeping the person warm and growing. Examples:

Forever Evolving and Still Growing, the latter which is particularly appropriate for teens because they're still growing physically as well as otherwise. Countless sweatshirts bear a butterfly, a symbol of metamorphosis, but this one is understated yet artful, so it would seem to be a safe choice for whoever you give it to.

Books

Atomic Habits by James Clear.  Despite its hypey title, this offers an effective approach. It encourages you to first realize that changing small habits can cumulatively have big effects. Next, you identify the reasons you want to form new habits or replace old undesirable ones. Then you log all your habits—positive and negative. Next, you note the external cues that trigger your bad habits so you can eliminate that cue (for example, tossing your stash) or at least, on seeing that cue being reminded that you want to  replace the negative behavior with a desired one, perhaps writing in your journal rather than getting high.

Talking to 'Crazy': How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Lifeby Dr. Mark Goulston. This book helps you avoid getting frustrated or defensive in the face of irrationality but, instead, shows how to enter the irrational person’s world, to experience it as the person perceives it, to and convey that you are an ally, not a threat. That lays the foundation for helping to guide the person toward rationality.

Why Do I Do That?: Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives by Joseph Burgo. Many readers of Psychology Today believe that defense mechanisms, often rooted in early experience, heavily govern our behavior today, and that understanding one’s defense mechanisms provides both insight into one’s self and also is often prerequisite to moving forward. For such people, this book is ideal. Thorough, clear, and rooted in psychodynamic theory, it enjoys a 4.6 average Amazon rating.

The Best of Marty Nemko, 2021 edition. This is a collection of my 26 most helpful blog posts from among my 4,000.

A print subscription to Psychology Today. It can feel good to curl up not just with your electronic version but an actual magazine. $19.99 a year (6 issues.)

I read this aloud on YouTube.

7 Gifts for Personal Growth

At holiday time most years, I offer gift ideas for the psychologically attuned. Last week, I suggested nine presents for people who could use comfort in these stressful times. But some psychologically oriented people on your list want to go beyond just being comforted—They want to grow. Perhaps one of the seven gift ideas I offer in my Psychology Today article today is  right for them . . . or for you?

A Case for Optimism: An antidote to the widespread pessimism

Certainly, a case for pessimism can be made — and it often is: future pandemics, terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, loss of jobs to the COVID economic restrictions, automation, offshoring, and costs of government mandates, crushing federal debt and deficits, long-unrelenting racial problems, poor U.S. student performance, etc. To provide a bit of balance, my Psychology Today article today makes a case for optimism, for ourselves, our children, our future.

“I’m Worried About My Behavior”

Some of my friends, family, and clients, seem unaffected by the COVID restrictions. Indeed, some introverted or work-centric people find it a net positive.

But many other people are getting increasingly distraught, especially in light of the urgings to stay home through the holiday season, and that despite months of social distancing, hand-washing, mask-wearing, closed restaurants and entertainment venues, COVID cases and hospitalizations are soaring, with a record 81,000 Americans hospitalized with COVID, and 253,000 deaths.

My Psychology Today article today presents a composite letter that encapsulates many people’s reactions, plus my response.

 

Instead of Giving Presents: Ideas for holiday charitable giving

At some point, you probably shake your head at the bowdlerization of the Three Wise Men’s gifts into today's gaudy gift-giving.

If you’re at that point now, consider making charitable donations in the names of the people on your gift list, or directly to needy people, even if not tax-deductible. I offer suggestions on how to wisely do that in my Psychology Today article today.

“I Wish I Hadn’t Said That:” Three steps to avoiding that

Most of us have said things we wish we could take back. But for some people, that's a frequent occurrence. My Psychology Today article today offers three steps have helped my clients.

9 Comforting Gifts: Holiday presents for the COVID era

In previous years, I suggested holiday gifts for personal growth and books for the psychologically attuned.

This year is special because of COVID and the political and racial roilings. So, my Psychology Today article today suggests gifts that are likely to be comforting in these stressful times. Who knows? You might even choose to get one for yourself.

Canceled Holiday Gatherings: Suggestions for a grieving person and for a relieved one

Because of the dire warnings, many people are canceling holiday get-togethers. My Psychology Today article today offers my responses to two composite letters. One is from a person who is grieving the loss, the other is from a person who is relieved.

2 COVID Strains on a Relationship

Yesterday, I wrote about two COVID strains: holiday gatherings and remote schooling.

My Psychology Today article today focuses on two COVID strains on relationships. They’re seemingly small problems, definitely in the category of first-world problems, yet a few of my clients have reported that such apparent trivialities are quite straining their relationship. The first problem: being bored with the friends in their COVID bubble. The second problem: arguing about what movies and TV to watch.

COVID Worries: The holidays, children's remote schooling

My Psychology Today article today offers two COVID-related worries that my clients have expressed. One is about holiday trips. The other is about remote schooling's effects on their child.