Lucy Felthouse's Blog, page 262
June 3, 2013
Rock Your Soul by Sara Brookes
Book Blurb:
Beth has been scarred both inside and out by a sadistic Dom and has worked hard to put the pieces of her life back together. However, the successful disc jockey knows one piece doesn’t quite align. She yearns to submit and searches for the one Dom she’s convinced will help bring her to lusty new heights.
When Ryan agrees to assist Beth, he’s surprised by her determination to persevere. Intrigued, he pushes her limits by using his gifted carpenter’s hands to bring her wild, erotic pleasure. Ryan, though, has scars of his own, and a tragic past filled with death keeps him at a distance.
Two broken souls will find a way to heal together. Beth discovers what she needs in Ryan, and her journey mends Ryan’s heart. But when the life Beth abandoned rises from the shadows, Ryan realizes there’s something far worse than his tortuous past—a future without Beth.
Warning: Get your world rocked by two very tortured souls who come together in a blinding explosion of sensual passion that knows no bounds. Except when there are ropes, custom-carved floggers, glass dildos and motorcycle sex involved. Oh, and did I mention the m/f/m ménage scene? One can never have too many skilled men ready to lend a…hand.
Book Link:
Ellora’s Cave: http://www.ellorascave.com/rock-your-soul.html
Book Excerpt:
“To your knees.”
She blinked, stunned at the power and command in his voice. As the control washed over her, she wanted to respond, but she found herself too annoyed things weren’t going according to plan. While she’d expected him to ask her questions to find out what he was in store for, she didn’t expect anything of this magnitude.
Angry, she returned his glare.
He smirked. The reaction caused her insides to turn to jelly, her vitriolic thoughts vanishing on the chilly night air. Why did he have to be so goddamned handsome and annoying at the same time?
“I suggest you listen if you want me to consider taking you on as I don’t like repeating myself. To. Your. Knees.”
She opened her mouth to protest and he tilted his head down just enough to give her another message. A very stern one she couldn’t help but listen to. He would not be ignored.
She dropped her hands to her sides and slowly lowered to her knees. The rough rocks immediately bit into her shins, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of showing him she was in pain. She heard the unmistakable sound of buttons popping on his jeans and looked up just in time to see him part the denim. What in the Sam hell did he intend to do? If he expected her to suck his dick right here and now, he’d better think again.
“Eyes down.”
The authority behind those two words coursed through her, compelling her to obey. It had been a long time since she’d had this kind of reaction. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she complied. The denim pooled around his ankles and she found herself staring at the pile.
Just as she started to wonder if Elena had been out of her mind to recommend this man, his hand slid against the top of her head. His touch was almost calming and, despite her annoyance, a feeling of tranquility washed over her. His fingers combed her hair, catching the elastic holder from her ponytail, pulling it free. He continued to run his fingers through the strands, fanning out her hair. She relaxed under his persistent touch. The pain in her legs melted away and she gave a soft sigh as her body started to quietly buzz.
Yes.
The crunch of rocks jolted her back to the moment. She listened to him move away, leaving her alone on the rock path in front of his house.
What in the hell?
Beth looked to the left and her eyes widened in surprise as she spotted him. He strolled toward the small lake at the front corner of the field, towel swinging in his hand as he walked. Those jeans of his were at her feet and she now had an unobstructed view of his bare ass.
A very firm, very tan, perfectly formed ass.
Christ on a slinky going down an up escalator if he doesn’t look even better out of those jeans. Transfixed by the bunch and pull of the muscles in his thighs and butt as he walked over the uneven ground, she forgot her place and openly gawked.
When he reached the bank at the water’s edge, he dropped the towel and walked right into the lake. She expected him to dive under the surface, but instead he slowly moved until the water lapped as his hips. He sunk as if he were a knife cutting through the water, disappearing with no more than a quiet ripple disturbing the surface. The lake smoothed in seconds.
The only indication she ever had company were those damn jeans on the ground in front of her.
Author Bio:
Sara Brookes is an award-winning author who has always been fascinated by the strange, the unusual, the twisted and the lost (tortured heroes are her personal favorite). She is an action movie junkie, addicted to coffee and has been known to stay up until the wee hours of the morning playing RPG video games. Despite all this, she is a romantic at heart and is always a sucker for an excellent love story. Born and bred in Virginia, Sara still lives there with her husband and daughter. The entire family is owned by two cats, Galahad and Loki, who graciously allow the family to cater to their every desire.
Author Links:
Website: www.sarabrookes.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/Sara_Brookes
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/brookesofbooks
Facebook Author Page: http://www.facebook.com/authorsarabrookes
Announcement List: http://eepurl.com/mbG31
June 1, 2013
Sunday Snog – A French Affair

Here’s another snog from my just-released erotic romance novella, A French Affair. This book was such fun to write, especially as I sent my characters on a lovely day trip to my favourite city – Paris. Enjoy the snog
He was so wide-eyed, so earnest, and his words so meaningful that she didn’t know how to respond. So she let her body do the talking instead. Walking backwards and pulling him along with her, she perched on the edge of the kitchen table and wrapped her arms and legs around him, guiding his head down for another kiss. She gave it her everything, doing her best to tell him with actions what she couldn’t seem to put into words. That she thought it would be worth it too. That she’d let go of her past and make a fresh start with him, and do her very best to make him happy.
You can get your hands on A French Affair here.
Also, don’t forget to head back to Blissekiss and see what other luscious lip to lip action other authors have posted. Yum!***
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Cowboy Boots and Inexpressible Longing by Natalie Acres
His pain is far greater than his need for love
Master Drew Remington knows pain. He understands its fury. He has walked through its unrelenting terror and remembers the torment in his brother’s eyes as he lay dying in front of him.
His affliction is too vast to overcome
Oh yes, Master Drew knows heartache. He watched as his father was gunned down by a hired assassin. He understands what it’s like to feel helpless and utterly consumed by a harrowing tragedy that left his family in ruins.
Only one woman can heal his soul and mend his wounded heart
A former lover, Suzy Matthews reenters Master Drew’s life. Suzy is determined to win her Master’s heart, but as she plans to embrace the love she and Master Drew share, an emerging war finally erupts. Soon, Suzy is used as a pawn in a very dangerous game set to unfold between old enemies looking to settle one final score.
Available from: http://www.bookstrand.com/natalie-acres
Story Excerpt:
“He’s got her,” Drew said.
“No shit.” Crue’s voice filled his ears. “Gabe and I have clear shots in the guest room. We can take out all but one of his men. Looks like Esparza’s son is standing at his twelve o’clock.”
“Don’t take those shots,” Drew whispered, easing closer to Esparza and Suzy. He couldn’t risk a complication. Suzy’s life was on the line.
“Damn it, Drew. If we don’t take them out, you won’t stand a chance when they scatter,” Gabe snapped.
“Then I won’t stand a chance.” He tucked his weapon at his waist and walked down the hallway with his hands in the air. This was like déjà vu, only worse. Suzy was on the floor. Esparza’s gun was aimed at her head. Damn if he didn’t know how that felt. He’d been there. He’d done that.
Damn man must’ve liked reliving moments in life. As Drew locked gazes with Esparza, he reminded himself of where he’d been, what heartache he’d suffered, all at the hands of a monster.
This despicable devil had been at the root of all his problems. He’d taken away the heart and soul of his family. He’d killed his father and slaughtered his brother. Now, he had his woman!
He’d be damned if he’d let him take one more person he cared about. And he wasn’t about to lose his life to Esparza so another one of his brothers would face off with him in the future.
It was time to end this. The moment had come. It was time to send a devil back to hell.
“What have we here?” Esparza cocked the gun.
“You’ll never get away with this,” Drew told him, glancing at Suzy. “We have the place surrounded.”
“Really?” Esparza threw his head back and laughed. “My property is twenty-five acres and your team—your team of six or seven men—have my place surrounded?”
“Your surveillance must’ve failed you somewhere, Esparza. We’ve pulled divisions from across the country.” Drew crept forward as he spoke. “I don’t foresee any way out of this for you.”
Esparza sneered. “I don’t see any positive outcome for your girl. Do you?”
Drew flinched. “I still can’t figure out why you have her. She’s been in town for two days and you think there’s some sort of lasting connection between us?”
Suzy shot him a quick glance. He wanted to run to her as soon as he implied she wasn’t important to him. He needed to wrap his arms around her and reassure her.
Again, Esparza tossed his head back. “You’re living in Vegas now. Haven’t you learned the laws of the land, yet? You can bluff a skilled player, a player who cares about the end result more than the temporary win. But you cannot—or at least you shouldn’t—bluff a true gambler. These individuals will go all-in without considering the risks.”
“Let her go,” Drew said, still holding his hands high. Manny was behind him now. Drew had worked with him long enough to feel him like a second skin. Scott was positioned at the other end of the hall. There was a little red dot on the side of Esparza’s head.
“Do you remember the time we spent together in Virginia, Drew?” Esparza grinned. “Of course you do. I’m the reason behind that drive you have now. When you rise every morning, I’m the only excuse you have to get out of bed. I’m your inspiration when you pound the pavement for four or five miles every day, and I’m—me, Drew, and no one else—the very reason you’ll never know a peaceful rest when you lay down at night and go to sleep.”
“You’re fucking insane.”
“And I speak the truth,” Esparza said. “We share a history that can never been separated. Don’t you feel it, Drew? I do. We’re linked together by what I now consider a very beautiful past, one wrought with murder and deceit, fraud and manipulation. Death surrounds us. Your father took away my family. I’ve slowly killed off yours. We meet, separate, and reunite again. We are so much a part of one another’s lives now that we’re almost family.”
Esparza yanked Suzy’s head back. “When families play together, darling, they stay together. You understand that. Don’t you?”
Copyright © 2013 Natalie Acres
International bestseller Natalie Acres is a Tennessee author writing exclusively for Siren Publishing. Prone to pen Western ménage romance and BDSM romantic thrillers, Natalie Acres enjoys sports, reading, and spending time with her family and friends. When she isn’t writing, Natalie is often found at a dice table in Cherokee, North Carolina, or playing poker in Tunica, Mississippi.
http://natalieacres.wordpress.com
http://www.amazon.com/Natalie-Acres/e/B002T575KC/
https://twitter.com/NatalieAcres
https://www.facebook.com/NatalieAcresAuthor
May 31, 2013
Guest Blogger: Victoria Blisse
Lou’s 3 top tips to getting sexy on a budget
I love my husband to bits but he’s not a billionaire. Sometimes we have to get a bit creative if we want to spice up our sex lives. Here’s my top tips to help you out if you’re looking to get sexy without breaking the bank (or your back come to that)!
Use what you’ve got
If you look online you can find a million and one different doodahs and gadgets for improving your sex life, a lot of them cost a fortune. My advice to you is see what you’ve got at home already that can double up as a sex toy.
Belts and ties are good for bondage, a wooden spoon might make a good spanker (check it on yourself first to see if you can take the pain!) and baby oil can be really nice for a massage. I have heard you have to be careful what oils you use if you’re using condoms, though, so proceed with caution. You’ll be amazed what you have at home that can work…try wearing your apron and nothing else or maybe there’s an alternative use for your feather duster…
Take some time
One really important part to sex for me is the intimacy you get from it. It’s really important to make time to spend with your other half where you can just be together. Time costs nothing and even an hour, just snuggled on the sofa watching a film is good for a relationship and your sex drive. Remember, sex isn’t just about the in and out, if you know what I mean. Other intimate acts count too!
Mad Skillz
We all have our own special talents. Rob makes me playlists of music for my phone, to remind me he loves me. I bake for him whenever I can and food is good seduction. Dipping fruit into melted chocolate and feeding it to your lover is sexy, if a little messy, but it doesn’t cost the earth. Think of something you’re good at and use it to enhance your sex life. Write him a love letter, take a sexy photo and send it to his phone. If you can dance, strip for him, if you can’t do it anyway. Just try a new way to show your love, it’ll keep things fresh and exciting for you both.
I hope my tips help you out. Please comment and let me know your tips for hot sex on a budget so I can try them out on Rob, thanks.
*****
Excerpt:
It was only a small parcel in a typical brown padded envelope. It wasn’t expected, which is why I spent so long looking it over. The return address didn’t ring a bell, and I really couldn’t imagine what it could be so, finally, I opened it. I grinned to myself as I did. My husband Rob would have laughed at me, spending so long looking at the wrapping and wondering. He doesn’t get why I like to eke out the anticipation in moments like this.
Inside was a square of white with a lacy frill all around it. When I opened it up, I found ties –it was a pinny. Inside the parcel was a sealed envelope. I opened it to find a card covered in small red love hearts.
Wear this tonight and only this xxx
PS Kids are going to my mum’s for tea tonight, so don’t worry.
I recognised my husband’s handwriting immediately and chuckled when I remembered a conversation we’d held in a restaurant once about pinnies and their attractiveness. Well, Rob had been staring at this red-headed waitress (he loves auburn hair) with cute curves and pouty lips, and I had to pull him up on it.
“No, Lou, No.” He shook his head. “I am helplessly addicted to pinnies. I can’t help it.”
“Pinnies?” I lifted one brow and pinched his thigh under the table. “You’re turned on by tiny little aprons?”
“Yes.” He nodded solemnly. “It’s a terrible affliction.”
“What’s your favourite kind?”
“White ones with lacy bits,” he replied, licking his lips salaciously.
That night, I whispered dirty sweet nothings in his ear while we fucked in the comfort of our hotel room bed. I told a story where I was a simple girl, waiting on tables in a quaint old tea shop, wearing a little lacy pinny. I giggled. He chuckled, but as my tale got hotter, the noises we made became strangled and lust-filled.
“You watch me until the end of my shift,” I whispered, hunched over him, my soft thighs stretched around his waist as his hard erection filled me. I moved gently up and down and continued the tale. “Then follow me outside into the alley. Before I can cry out, you clamp your hand over my mouth and push me roughly against the wall. I struggle helplessly but you hold me down and whisper about knowing I want it. How I’d teased you and how I would get what I’d been asking for.”
I still remember how he gripped my hips tightly when I rode him. I continued my story through groans of pleasure.
“You spin me around, press me into the harsh brick of the wall, and pull up my skirt. Grabbing hold of my prim pinny, you fuck me. I’m soaking wet, so you slide right in. You fuck me there in an alley, the girl you just met, the girl you hardly know.”
My words turned into unintelligible mumblings at the point where ecstasy took over. And ever since our holiday, with the visit to that restaurant and the evening’s tale of indecency in an apron, we’ve found a mutual fondness for the uniform of waiting staff and hotel workers alike. So, if Rob wanted me naked in nothing but a pinny for Valentine’s, that’s what he could have.
*****
Hold on tight, it’s going to get wild! Rob and Lou could pass you in the streets and you’d likely not notice them. They’re in their thirties, have a family and jobs to hold down and they do it with smiles on their faces. But occasionally they get a little time off and that’s when things get seriously sexy.
Light-hearted and fun, this mini-anthology features episodes from this couple’s wild weekends. Making the most of the mud, finding the erotic nature of an apron and even having a sexy visit to a fish and chip shop. Rob and Lou make the mundane much more pleasurable so join them on their kinky ride.
Includes a bonus short story Damsel in Distress and excerpts from other ebooks by the award winning queen of rosy, raunchy and rubenesque erotic romance, Victoria Blisse.
Buy links and more info: http://victoriablisse.co.uk/books/rob-lous-wild-weekends
Individual buy links:
Smashwords
Amazon.co.uk
Amazon.com
All Romance eBooks
May 29, 2013
Hump Day Hook No. 14 #HDH
Hi everyone and welcome to Hump Day Hook, which is basically where authors post a paragraph from a WIP or a published work to show it off to the world. This week, I’m sharing a snippet from my just released erotic romance novella, A French Affair. It follows on directly from last week’s, so you know what happened next
Workmen.
She groaned. So much for her peaceful writer’s retreat. She’d planned to get a good chunk of her novel down in the fortnight she was away, and now it looked as though her peace was going to be monumentally shattered by banging, drilling, and God knows what else.
Want more? Of course you do! Here’s the page for A French Affair. And click here to go and visit the rest of the Hump Day Hook gang. Leave us comments about our pieces – we love it!
Happy Reading x
May 25, 2013
Sunday Snog – A French Affair

Here’s another snog from my just-released erotic romance novella, A French Affair. This book was such fun to write, especially as I sent my characters on a lovely day trip to my favourite city – Paris. Enjoy the snog
The mischief in his eyes and the smile threatening to take over his lips were infectious. Sydney couldn’t help it – she laughed. And once she started, she couldn’t stop. When she eventually calmed down enough to take a breath, she put the gifts he’d brought her on the worktop and stepped over to where he stood by the boiling kettle. She slipped her arms around his waist, and he quickly reciprocated.
Harry leant down for a kiss, then paused, seemingly thinking better of it. ‘Does that mean you’re going to give us a chance?’
Standing on her tiptoes, Sydney pressed a kiss to his lips. ‘What do you think?’
‘I’m going to take that as a yes.’ With that, he captured her mouth with his, and they quickly became lost in one another, this time with no reason to stop.
Sydney felt much better about their kiss this time. Firstly, she too had spent time during the night thinking about their potential relationship. She’d eventually come to the conclusion that it was pointless trying to guess what would happen. The only way to find out if things would work out between them was to try. She couldn’t punish him – and herself – for her ex’s deceit. If she never trusted another man again, then she’d never be happy. And she deserved happiness – everyone did.
She pulled away, feeling pleasantly dizzy and sucking in a much-needed deep breath.
You can get your hands on A French Affair here.
Also, don’t forget to head back to Blissekiss and see what other luscious lip to lip action other authors have posted. Yum!***
Click here to sign up for my newsletter! Receive all my latest news, information on my new releases and exclusive subscriber-only competitions and special offers! Don’t miss it!
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May 24, 2013
New Release: Girls Getting Off, edited by Elizabeth Coldwell
My story, When in Devon, appears in this erotic anthology, just released by Xcite Books. I had lots of fun writing this saucy tale, and given the rest of the author names in this book, it promises to be an excellent read.
Here’s the blurb:
Enter a sensual, seductive world of lady love
Sometimes, only another woman can give a girl the excitement she craves. In this collection of twenty sensuous lesbian erotic tales, penned by the best erotica authors from around the world you’ll discover women enjoying their first sweet taste of all-girl games, and long-term lovers reawakening their passion with the aid of new tricks and favourite toys. From sweet and tender to rough and kinky, delicious damsels to bi-try babes, there’s something here to satisfy all lovers of girl-on-girl action.
Who wouldn’t want to be there when girls get off?
Buy links here: http://lucyfelthouse.co.uk/published-works/girls-getting-off/
*****
Excerpt:
Belle was bored out of her damn mind. She was sitting on a deckchair on Croyde Beach, watching her friends Adrian and Wayne surfing. It had been fun at first, seeing their athletic bodies manoeuvring the boards with skill, riding the waves. And giggling at the occasional fall, of course. They were good, but not perfect.
Now, on the third day of walking from their lush holiday cottage to the beach to watch the surfers, Belle really wished she’d stayed in and taken advantage of the free WiFi. Or even gone into the village pub or cafe. Read a book. Anything but continue to observe the boys on their bloody boards.
She wasn’t even supposed to be there, really. A third guy, Max, was meant to be going, but he’d dropped out for some reason, so the others had asked her if she wanted to come along.
“Come on,” Adrian had said, “there are three bedrooms, all en-suite, so it’ll be private for you. Free WiFi, underfloor heating, the works.”
“Sounds expensive.”
“It is, but not for you. Max has already paid his share, and it was non-refundable. We won’t find another surfer to come at such short notice, so Max will have to take the hit. He’s okay with it. Anyway, you’ve gotta come. You don’t have other plans, do you?” His voice sounded slightly incredulous at that last part, and Belle’s reply was snippy.
“No, I don’t. But there’s no need to be mean about it.”
“Sorry, babe. I didn’t mean it like that. How about I make it up to you? A free week away do you? All you need is spending money.”
“No petrol money? Are we teleporting there?”
“Hey, who’s being mean now? Anyway, no you don’t. I invited you, and I wouldn’t expect you to pay for petrol. Come on…” He wheedled and cajoled.
Belle gave in. She’d only really been being stubborn because of the comment about her not having anything else to do. Inwardly, she’d jumped at the chance of a free holiday, but she’d remained cool on the outside.
Now, though, she wished she’d remained cool through and through, or that her boss had refused to give her the time off. Yes, it had been nice to see what her two best friends did every time they tore off to the Devon or Cornwall coast, but now she’d had her fill.
It wasn’t all bad, though. The weather was gorgeous, especially for early November, and there was hardly anyone around. She imagined the place would be heaving in the summer, but now there were just a handful of surfers, the occasional dog walker and a few hikers.
The hikers gave her an idea. She could go for a walk. Take in a bit more of the scenery, something different from the section of beach she’d been staring at for three days straight. Yes, that’s what she’d do. Rummaging in the bag she’d brought with her, she found an old receipt and a pen.
Gone for a walk. Got my mobile if you need me. Belle xxx
Buy links here: http://lucyfelthouse.co.uk/published-works/girls-getting-off/
May 23, 2013
Irish Kisses Print Edition Coming This Summer!
The boys from Bell’s Irish Pub have been delivering tasty treats to digital readers around the globe, and hitting bestseller lists at Amazon, All Romance, and Bookstrand. And now, they’re coming to PRINT!
A collection of five romances set in Bell’s Irish Pub, each with its own special tasty treat served by the staff of Bell’s. The 1Night Stand dating service shakes and stirs things up for Bell’s. When Madame Eve puts two people together for just one night, anything is possible…. Throw in sexy cocktails and to-die-for Irish hotties, and it’s a recipe for sweet Irish kisses and perhaps even wedding Bell’s.
SWEET IRISH KISS
Can he win her over with his secret weapon, a Sweet Irish Kiss, or is Rachel still too scared to love?
SHAMROCKED
Will his Irish charm and toys be enough to hold onto his leading lady, or will his heart be Shamrocked into next week?
THREESOME SWEETNESS
Is a dash of Threesome Sweetness the remedy each is looking for, or will the date leave a bitter aftertaste each will regret for the rest of their lives?
HOT WINTER KISS
Can she hack it in the real world of romance, or are life’s complications and treacherous snowstorms best left to the pages of a book?
MARRY ME, I’M IRISH
Does she love him enough to leave the comforts of England? And is there something behind his sudden proposal?
Publisher: www.DecadentPublishing.com
Cover Artist: www.EstrellaCoverArt.com
May 22, 2013
Hump Day Hook No. 13 #HDH
Hi everyone and welcome to Hump Day Hook, which is basically where authors post a paragraph from a WIP or a published work to show it off to the world. This week, I’m sharing a snippet from my just released erotic romance novella, A French Affair.
Sydney Tyler jumped so hard that her fingers slammed down onto the laptop’s keyboard and she typed a bunch of gobbledegook.
Kashfkjsdhlfknsdlfvn sdlkch awoeduioh ahdwklc
Gasping, she clutched at her chest as her heart thumped rapidly and painfully. “What the fucking hell was that?” she said to the empty room.
Pushing her chair back from the desk, she stepped over to the window. Peering out into the brilliant sunshine, she saw something on the lawn that she had absolutely not been expecting.
Want more? Of course you do! Here’s the page for A French Affair. And click here to go and visit the rest of the Hump Day Hook gang. Leave us comments about our pieces – we love it!
Happy Reading x
May 20, 2013
Adventures in Amsterdam

Wonky buildings – the city is full of them
I’m baaaack! Well, if you don’t follow me on Facebook and/or Twitter (and if not, why not?
) you probably didn’t even know I was gone. But I was – I was in Amsterdam. Part holiday, part research trip, I spent a few days exploring the city. A city, it seems, with two parts. A smutty part, and a vanilla part. Here’s a brief run down of what I’ve been up to…
Rijksmuseum
The Rijksmuseum has recently been re-opened after a huge refurbishment. I hadn’t seen it previously, of course, so I don’t know if it’s any better, but I certainly liked it. I’m not the sort of person that will stand and look and read about every single piece, but I still had a good look round. The absolute highlight for me, being the library. I was under the impression from reading about it that you could only look at it through some glass – not true. You can go right in (on two floors) and look around. It’s huge, gorgeous, old-fashioned and even has free WiFi, which is why I was able to Tweet and Facebook from the very room! Recommended.
House of Bols
Recommended to us by our rep on the campsite (who was very helpful – if you’re reading this, Dan, thanks again!), we headed there after the Rijksmuseum as it’s just a few minutes’ walk away. Neither myself or my other half are big drinkers, but our rep said it was fun. I don’t want to ruin it for anyone who goes, so let’s just say it’s more than just a bar – it’s an interactive, fun museum. Then at the end you get a free cocktail and two free shots – though of course they’re not really free as you’ve paid for them as part of your entrance fee. It’s something a little different, and fun, and made us a tad giggly…
Van Gogh Museum
We were still giggly after crossing the road to the Van Gogh Museum so we managed to go right through the place without seeing the famous Sunflowers, so we had to go back down and find it. If you’re really into art and paintings, this place is recommended. It also has works by other artists that Van Gogh knew, I believe.
Hard Rock Cafe
We try and visit this place in every city we go to (though somehow we missed the one in Paris – another excuse to go again next year
) and Amsterdam was no exception. They’re not cheap places, by any means, but they do good food and nice big portions, which was nice after a busy few hours. And the staff are always lovely!
Homomonument
We passed this on the way to Anne Frank’s House. It’s a monument for gay and lesbians who’ve been persecuted. It’s simple and pretty, jutting out into the canal. We couldn’t see the whole thing at the time as it was covered in flowers, which I suspect is something to do with a GLBTQ festival that was on recently. An interesting monument, well worth checking out.
Anne Frank House
It’s very difficult to describe this place. You can’t call it fun, nice, good, or exciting. It’s just not appropriate, given the story behind it. It is though, very interesting, poignant, and quite emotional. Despite the fact you go around most of it in a line and kind of have to go at everyone else’s pace, I still found it quite tearjerking. If you’re interested in history at all, this is a very educational and fascinating place, and will probably make you go and buy Anne Frank’s Diary – I certainly did. I’m not saying any more as I don’t want to give it away, but it’s worth visiting. Though make sure you pre-order tickets online before you go, otherwise the queue is huge. We pre-ordered and got given a time, which made it much faster.
Westerkirk
We popped in for a few minutes, intending to climb the tower, but the tours were full as due to the narrow nature, there are limited numbers on tours. We didn’t want to stand around waiting when we could be out exploring other things, so we had to give it a miss this time. I suspect it’s brilliant up in the tower as it’s the highest point in Amsterdam, which isn’t saying much as the place is flat, seriously flat. The church itself is fairly plain compared to some I’ve seen, but is pretty much next door to Anne Frank’s House, so worth seeing if you’re in the area.
The House Boat Museum
We hadn’t really intended to go here, but we literally walked past it on our way somewhere else, so we popped in. Naturally, as it’s a canal boat, it’s not that big, but it’s very interesting to see how everything’s been designed to make it fit. It’s very very cute and interesting, and the man running it seems full of knowledge about house boats in general and how it’s a very expensive undertaking to have one!

One of the bazillion canals, taken from one of the bazillion bridges
Canal Cruise
It’s got to be done – Amsterdam pretty much thrives on its canals, and has more than Venice. The one we went on had headphones so you could select your language and hear the recorded tour. It was a little impersonal, but the man driving the boat was so grumpy I wouldn’t have wanted him to give a tour anyway! It’s interesting to be so physically low down and see what’s around you. I loved the fact that we went right up and around Centraal Station (which is the transport hub) and sailed between that and North Amsterdam on a great big lake. The tour was about an hour and ten minutes and really is a must, especially since it’s pretty cheap.
The Resistance Museum
We had to dash round a little as we got there with just an hour before closing. We saw everything on the ground floor – but aren’t sure what’s up the stairs! What we did see, though, was absolutely fascinating. Again, if you’re into history, this gives a real insight into World War II, mainly from the perspective of what happened in Holland/The Netherlands. I’d definitely go back there again and take it all in more slowly and check out the rest of the place. It’s definitely worth a visit.
Our Lord in the Attic
A clandestine church. In the 1660s, when it became illegal to worship certain religions, this chapel was built on the top three floors of a couple of houses. It’s intriguing, as, like Anne Frank’s House, it couldn’t be seen by the outside world. It’s much bigger than I was expecting, and very ornate, considering it was hidden. The whole idea is intriguing and it’s also slightly amusing that the place is pretty much in the middle of the Red Light District. Again, worth checking out.
Dam Square
It really is pretty much just a square, with buildings all around and a monument in the middle. Like Trafalgar Square, but not as pretty. Madame Tussauds is just off the square, too, as is the Red Light District.
Museum Van Loon
Basically a house museum. A very beautiful building, both inside and out, with lots of very interesting features and a lovely garden. If you’re interested in visiting historical properties, again, this is worth checking out.
American Book Center
For book fans, this is definitely worth visiting. It is, as the name suggests, full of books in the English language, with American versions of the covers – I assume the spelling is American, too. A lovely, higgledepiggledy shop with lots of variety (though a shockingly tiny erotic fiction section – though I found anthologies containing stories from myself and Kay Jaybee, which was very exciting!) and free WiFi. If you’re passing, head on in.
We also went into various bars and cafes (though not of the drug-selling variety – though just walking past them was enough to get you stoned), one of which overlooked an alleyway with the infamous red-lit windows. What we suspect many people didn’t know (thanks again to insider knowledge from our rep), though, was that the “ladies” in that particular establishment were in fact, transsexuals. It was a truly fascinating insight into the Red Light District to sit and watch people going in and out without them knowing. It was great for research! Look out for A Taste of Amsterdam – though of course I’ve got to write A Taste of Rome, first.

The Condomerie – where people mainly stood and giggled. Yes, I was one of them.
The Red Light District itself is pretty much what you’d expect – ladies in the windows in their underwear. The vast majority are not very attractive and are standing there smoking and messing around on their phones. Not sexy. There are lots of sex shops, too, many really tacky places like you’d find in London’s Soho. Thankfully, there were a couple of really nice ones, though the staff weren’t a patch on the Sh! Girlz. I found it really interesting from the perspective of research, but found it horribly seedy, but better from the perspective of the working girls. It’s heavily policed and there are CCTV cameras everywhere. If anyone misbehaves (i.e. football fans jeering and banging on the windows) the girls will whisk their curtains shut straight away. Can’t say I blame them, really.
Overall, it’s a city where you can pretty much do whatever you’re interested in. If you don’t want to see the seedy parts, then you avoid them. It is very confined to one section in the centre. There are museums galore, walking tours, a zoo (we purposely didn’t go this time as we know we’d have spent an entire day there), parks, etc, etc… I did find it much more difficult to navigate than London, Paris or Rome, despite the fact it’s smaller. I suspect the fact there’s only one Metro line (which was closed) didn’t help. Also, there are bikes literally everywhere. Crossing the road is taking your life in your hands – even more so than Paris or Rome as you can’t always hear the bikes coming!
So, that’s a snapshot of the city and what I did there. I enjoyed it and would definitely go back, but Paris still holds the crown for my favourite city in the world… so far.


