Lauren Braddock Havey's Blog, page 4

Happy White Christmas from Nashville!

Dear Friends,

It ain't easy being green! At least the environment was our excuse for not sending hard-copy Christmas cards this year.

We brought in 2010 with the purchase of a new old house Nashville. It brought us back "into town" after living in the quiet, country community of Pegram for eight years. We are absolutely loving being close to everything again. The house was built in 1935 and we think that there may be a ghost of Christmas Past here…a lovely woman who passed away in the home several years ago when she was close to ninety. We understand she liked brandy, so last night for Christmas Eve we left some out for her along with cookies for Santa!

Jim continues to rock along as a PR man here in Music City and 2011 promises to be a great year with some exciting new business.

Lauren, when not being a "stalker mommy," promoted her book/CD, wrote music and blogged, continued to do a bit of acting, and followed a whim and decided to get certified to teach "Zumba" (the Latin-based dance/fitness craze) just for fun.

It is hard for us to believe that our little guy was born this time of year six years ago! I'll Be Home For Christmas always has special meaning for us since our baby got to come home from the NICU in 2004 just in time for Christmas. He graduated from preschool in the spring from a Montessori school we loved and started kindergarten this fall at an acclaimed elementary school. While it has been a transition, we trust it is the start of exciting times for him. He is a great little reader and loves going to school. He is currently all about zoo animals and magic!

2010 was a hard time for some with the economy, and notably for Nashville, with the 1,000 year flood in May. Our basement was flooded (about four feet of water) but so many others were hit really hard. People in the community rallied and helped one another clean up the awful mess. Our hometown made us so proud showing itself to the world as a brave, kind, and resilient place. The Volunteer State indeed!

We are enjoying a quiet first Christmas in our new home and Grand-Bobby stayed over with us. Nashville is having it's first white Christmas since 1993! What a magic way for little man to wake up!

We are so very thankful for such amazing friends and family. We wish you all a very Merry Christmas (Hannukah, Kwanza or Festivus!) and hope that 2011 is everything wonderful you want it to be and more!

Peace and love from our family to yours!
xo

December 11

Six years ago today my little boy and I almost died during his birth due to amniotic fluid embolism. Today, I joyously and gratefully celebrate every minute of his six years! He is an amazing little guy and we are so very thankful.
Today we also remember those who were effected by AFE. To find out more about AFE visit afesupport.org. To learn more about our experiences and the book about it please visit www.ajourneytotheson.com.

The attitude is gratitude!

I just want to stop and thank you, baby! Sorry that I haven't posted much lately, life has been busy but that is a good thing. I realize more and more how a lot of how we experience life depends on the way we view it. With Thanksgiving this past week I want to try to carry that attitude of gratitude forward with me for the rest of the year and most certainly into 2011!
Last week Little Man had his first school program. He and all of the other kindergartners at his school (approximately 100 kiddos) came onto the stage as the pianist played the Peanuts theme, it was too precious for words. My guy was dressed as a Native American. In light of the recent ADHD diagnosis there is always the concern that my little native could have broken off and done a solo rain dance down the aisle! But, he did GREAT! It was such a special little show and I can't wait to see it on video.
We had a cozy family dinner on Thanksgiving day at our house. Jim and I enjoy pulling out our special linen tablecloth we got in Venice and our wedding china we rarely use. (The centerpiece is what we bought at a dollar store years ago thinking it was a turkey, but is was actually a chicken! I ate Tofurky, by the way :)) We also love doing the cooking. I have several dishes I make, Jim has his dishes and Aunt Karen brings hers. I have been doing this with her and her hubby for many many years now and we have it down! I love the history/tradition!
I am grateful for Jim being such a good host. I made my dishes the day before, but he is Mr timing man in the kitchen on the day of, which allowed me to actually socialize a little. I love the traditions of the foods we really only eat once a year. The little guy and I made placecards for everyone that started with the words "I am thankful for" and then he wrote the names. The food was amazing BUT we had two meals of leftovers--so glad there are no more leftovers leftover!
Luckily, I had agreed to sub a Zumba class on Saturday which helped to burn it off a little. Something else that I am thankful for is that Jim and the little guy went and helped me set up so I wouldn't be stressed out. And the regular teacher had students help out too with the door, putting tables away, so I could just relax and remember the moves! Jim caught our little guy peeking in on the class. Whatever must he think about seeing mama and the other ladies shakin' it to Shakira-ha!

So much for so many of us to be thankful for. Hopefully we can all appreciate what we have and pay it forward a bit this holiday season. That is my goal! Muah! xoxo

Wild Times

Jr Zookeeper, Cougar Mommy (ha!) and GrandBobby Gorilla from Halloween night.

Cannot believe Little Man's 6th birthday is just a month away. And party central here is yet to have plan in place! He wants a zoo party (of course) but he is also interested in magicians that he has seen at recent parties. In kindergarten we are to invite either all the boys in the class or all of the boys and girls (19) plus we have other friends we'd like to invite. How many 6 year olds can you have at a house party without going ape?

First field trip without hellicopter mom hovering ...

The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears.
-Ellen Goodman

Yesterday was Little Man's first field trip sans Mama. We both survived. I knew there was an extra set of eyes going along and the teachers are well versed in my little boys bolt-ability, so I felt confident that they would keep a good watch on him.
He saw Suessical the Musical and loved it. There were puppets in it he said, but he wasn't scared because he saw the people controlling the puppets. (He has a thing about costumed characters and puppets)
My friends joked on Facebook about how stalker-mommy was probably incogneto following the bus, going on stage disquised as a Suessical character just so I could keep an eye on him, etc. etc. It was starting to sound like a Lucille Ball sitcom episode! But, I did no such thing. I actually stayed away. This is progress! Letting go as a Mama is not easy, for me at least, but necessary. SIGH!

Halloween 2010

The scariest thing I did today was "audition" for a Zumba class by leading a test song in front of a group of about 20 strangers. It was actually kind of fun. Well,
I got through it anyway. :)
But, it was a great afternoon and evening. My little guy was a zookeeper for Halloween. He wants to be a zookeeper when he grows up and his bday party in December will probably be zoo themed as well. Since he was a zookeeper, I was a leopard (in my mind I was more of a cougar, but that is another story-ha) and my dad dressed in a gorilla suit, which was hilarious for us, but the mask totally freaked little dude out. The Daddy-guy decided to be a Muscateer. I made "Mummy dogs" for a snack before trick-or-treet. Super easy, just wrap crescent roll dough around a dog (soy in our case) bake for 12-15 minutes and voila. Though Jim laughed at the result. But it was quick and easy and then I had veggie chili in the crock pot for an easy dinner after the festivities since it is a school night. Thankfully we got one group of trick-or-treaters to our house because that was the highlight of Little Man's evening. As they left he called to them "good choices" about their candy selection. Sweet boy!

Zumba Mami

For the past couple of years I have had a new hobby...the Latin dance fitness craze called ZUMBA. In fact, a couple of years ago I even had a Zumba birthday party. I have always loved to dance, but this high-cardio high-FUN activity is "exercise in disquise". Such a blast! Kind of like a night out dancing with the girls ... without the tequilla!
This summer I decided to get certified just for kicks (or salsa moves) So, I took a day long seminar and now, voila!, I can be a Zumba teacher! It is not quite that easy. The hardest thing, for me, is to learn/remember all of the choreography--but once you do it is great. I subbed a class once about a month ago, but now I have an audition to teach a class so I am cramming to learn some new tunes...probably driving my husband nuts with the Reggaetone bass thumping from our living room. I think I would enjoy having a class though. Gotta exercise anyway...may as well get paid for it!
If anyone reading this hasn't tried Zumba yet, go shake it at a class! The perfect way for a Mami to cut loose, do something good for herself and have a blast!

Waiting in the Wings

Sometimes my five year old amazes me with the things he says. I know they all have little nuggets of wisdom they bestow upon us. These are the kind of moments we mommies have to immortalize in journals or blogs before they are forgotten and pushed aside pushed aside in time like a misplaced baby tooth.

Last night was a great family night. The kind when stress actually disolves and we can just enjoy each other. I made a veggie meatloaf with Gimme Lean (yummy vegetarian option) accompanied by roast veggies and peas. Comfort food for a fall eve. Grandbobby had just returned from a trip to DC so Little Man started asking him questions about presidents. He asked if all of the presidents lived at the White House and learned that the White House had not been there for all presidents. "Who was the first president to live in the white house?" "Why are all the presidents boys?" I was happy to see him displaying curiosity about history.
He also told us who was president when he was born "George W Bush" (thanks to the President poster I put in is room from the Parent Teacher Store he knows the names of the past few presidents) He also talked about when Obama was elected when he was little--remembering small details.

Then he switched to more etherial subjects.
"Before I was in your tummy I was backstage."
"Backstage, where?"
"In the sky."
"What ... like heaven?"
"Not born heaven"

Time to adopt a new attitude?

After my hard time getting and staying pregnant and subsequent near-death birth five (almost six) years ago, I decided a sibling for my son would come from my heart and not my womb. My husband and I officially decided to adopt 2 years ago on our 10 year anniversary trip to Vegas (what happens in Vegas regarding adoption does not stay in Vegas). I was a woman on a mission and had taken the Chinese adoption forms on the airplane intent to get sweet hubby to decide it was the best choice for our family. He did and it was exciting and romantic to think about expanding our family.
We immediately started the process with a Chinese adoption agency and then we hit a wall. Out of nowhere Chinese adoptions started taking 4 years! We decided to try for the "waiting child" program, to get a child with a minor correctible need, but alas, we found that our insurance company would not cover a child with preexisting conditions. So, we pulled out and decided to go with a domestic adoption agency where we have been on a wait list for about 1 1/2 years. We have had a couple of near-miss adoptions with them, but nothing has quite panned out. I got excited about a baby girl due this month until I found out that her birth mom is a methadone user. Bless that baby, but we will not be able to take on an infant in withdrawall as we already have a biological son to tend to as well and feel it would not be fair to him or the baby.
So, now I have been flirting with the possibility of getting back into the China program since my heart was there to start with. I recently found a beautiful little girl on a waiting child list. A little older than we had considered, almost three, but we got excited about the possibility of Little Man having a playmate in his age bracket. We got our pediatrician's take on her medical charts, which the agency sent us, which included some red flags, got a second opinion from an intl. adoption clinic and it turns out that this sweet little girl (who we daydreamed about for a good couple of weeks) has mild "mental retardation". Bless that angel. I know that she will end up in the best home for her, where the family can devote all of their attention to her. Unfortunately we know our limitations now and that is not us.
Soo, the search continues. I am sitting on a fence and the post is not in a very comfortable position. Who will our daughter be? An infant here in the US or a toddler overseas? OR, will we bag the whole idea and just let our boy rule the roost
since we are hitting roadblocks and certainly not getting any younger? I now officially let it go and trust that the best situation for our family and to the highest good of all will happen, or not happen, easlily and effortlessly as it is meant to be. Amen!

It A.D.D.s up

We got a diagnosis last week that comes as no surprise. ADD-C, the combined kind of ADD that includes innatentiveness, impusivity and hyperactivity. So, now what? The pediatrician said we are on the right track with behavior modification which seems to be helping to keep him on task. He was in no hurry to try medication, thank goodness, as I am not ready for that, but we will reasses in a couple of months.
I have known for some time that my little boy is off the charts impulsive--hence him being a bolter when he first started school. And when other parents have described their ADD/ADHD children to me (prior to medication) it sounds a lot like my boy. Many of theses kids are very bright. A friend said a doctor likened these kids to her with the Terminator, like they come in a room, scan it for details then they are done and want to move on. Another friend whose older son, who is also gifted, was diagnosed and before being medicated he would not look at his dad, even when his dad held his face, because he was so busy looking around the room. My kid is just like that. As our close family friend observed he doesn't stop moving in his mind or in his body. The sticker chart at school seems to be really working for him, thank goodness, as we just had three weeks in a row of smiley faces. Woo-hoo!
It is kind of a relief to get that diagnosis in a way. Sometimes people, who are not experienced with this condition, may think it has something to do with ones parenting, or with the child being defiant, when that is not the case. So, now we know he can't totally help this behavior, it is in his makeup and we will do whatever we can to alleviate symptoms that may not be successful for him, while embracing the parts that go along with it that are positive. I am reading a book, Answers To Distraction by Edward Hallowell, M.D., and John J. Ratey, M.D. and they say that people with ADD often have the advantages of high energy, creativity, a good sense of humour and tenacity. In fact when asked asked why there are more diagnosis of ADD in the US than Europe the doctors said one could consider it a case of overdiagnosis in the US, but they really think there are actually more cases here. AND furthermore believe it is in our specific genetic makeup as the founders of this country, and the kind of people who would immigrate here, were not the kind to wait around, they were the kind to take big risks and be impulsive. He proposes that many of our founding fathers may have had ADD! So perhaps it is downright patriotic to have this condition, by cracky! I'm just sayin'.... Why, it is even in our name, Br-ADD-ock! So there ya have it. Onward and upwards.