Andrew Grey's Blog, page 55
January 4, 2011
Just a quick update
I hope everyone is haveing a great start to 2011.
December 30, 2010
Love Means... No Fear - Raine Excerpt
Blurb:Raine Baumer is living the party life in Chicago, indulging in short relationships with little emotional commitment. But after he's severely injured in a gay bashing, close friend Geoff arrives to take him to the country to recuperate. There Geoff and his partner Eli treat him like part of the family, and Raine meets Jonah, Eli’s brother, who is exploring life in the world outside his Amish community.
Jonah and Raine’s mutual attraction draws them together, but they may not have a chance to explore it. Jonah’s father is making ultimatums, and the police believe that the attack on Raine may not have been as random as it initially appeared. Raine and Jonah will have to face what they fear most in order to have any chance at a life together.
Excerpt:
“Are you going tonight?” a bright voice called from his doorway, and Raine looked up from his computer, returning a grin from Jeremy, one of his young and enthusiastic managers. God, he loved working in a gay office. The best thing he’d ever done was leave that stuffy, big corporation and take the job in a fabric house. Most of the employees were gay; hell, the owners were gay. It made the office relaxed, and there was always plenty of scenery. “We’re all marching together in the parade.” The kid had so much energy, and Raine found himself wondering what he’d be like in bed. Maybe he could put some of that youthful energy to good use. “Scotty even made a banner.” Jeremy’s arms swished above his head. “It says ‘Gay Accountants… Don’t be Accrual.’ Get it? There’s an Elvis theme.” Jeremy’s smile brightened even further.
He didn’t want to rain on the kid’s parade, but that slogan was bad, really bad, but Raine couldn’t help laughing anyway. “Yes, I’m coming.” Raine tried to concentrate on the last entries he needed to make. “I just have to finish these and”—he clicked a few buttons before pressing save—“there, all done. Let’s go have some fun.” Turning off his computer, he pushed back his chair and stood up, walking toward his office door.
“I love Gay Pride week.” Jeremy practically bounced as they walked to where the other boys were congregating, getting ready to join the party already in full swing. “I can’t believe the parade runs right in front of the building. That’s so cool!”
Approaching the group, he saw that some of his coworkers had already changed for the fun. “What are you supposed to be?” Raine asked as he approached one of the boys in full costume.
“I’m the young Elvis,” Dexter answered, “and Harvey’s going to be the old Elvis.” Raine saw the other man approaching in a fat suit, huge belt, full sequined pants, shirt, and even a cape.
“They were going to try to get a coffin for the dead Elvis,” Davis interjected through chuckles, “but we all agreed that was too tacky, even for us.” The group laughed and began heading toward the elevators. “But we did get one of the guys on Accounts Payable to go as Army Elvis.” Good God, leave it to a bunch of gay boys to milk a theme, any theme, nearly to death.
As the elevator door opened, their small group was indeed joined by Army Elvis, Hawaiian Elvis, and even Teddy Bear Elvis in a full bear suit, sans head—thank God—complete with Elvis pants, belt, and a paddle that read, “Don’t be Cruel.” “Don’t ask, you don’t want to know,” Jeremy quipped from next to him as they all piled into the elevator for the ride to the lobby.
Stepping out, Raine watched the looks from the other office workers in their business suits and ties. Heads shook, hands covered mouths, and a few guffaws greeted them as they filed through the lobby and out onto the street. “You guys go join the other Elvi and have fun,” Raine called as they walked down the crowded sidewalk toward where the parade was supposed to start.
“You’re not marching?” Jeremy looked up at him, lower lip jutting out on an adorable pout. “I was hoping we could march together.” Well, damn, that went way beyond a flirt. Hell, it was nearly an engraved invitation, and he very nearly accepted it. Hell, he would have without hesitation even just a few months ago.
“No, you go ahead with the others if you want. I’m supposed to meet some friends and we’re going to watch the parade. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like, though.” Raine watched as Jeremy looked up at him and then over at the other guys, trying to decide what he wanted to do. “It’s okay. Go on and have fun.” Raine smiled, and Jeremy bounded off after the Elvi. Raine watched him go for a second before continuing down the street.
His phone playing “Celebration” stopped him, and he pulled it out of his pocket, checking the display. “Hey, Geoff.”
“Good God, where are you?”
“It’s Pride Weekend, and I’m on my way to meet some friends for the parade. You know, you and Eli should come down next year. It’d be a blast.”
He heard Geoff’s laughter ripple through the line. “Can you see Eli at Gay Pride?”
Raine thought for a split second before laughing. “No, I guess not, although this year they actually have horses.”
“Real ones or just two guys feeling each other up under a horse blanket?”
“Actually both.” Raine’s laughter increased, and he continued down the street, spying his friends and waving to let them know he’d seen them. “But there are real horses, some sort of gay polo team or something. But seriously, you two should come for a visit, I’d love to see you guys.”
“We will,” Geoff responded, “and you know you can always come here when you need some peace and quiet or feel the need to shovel some shit.”
“And you’ve got plenty of that.” Raine could hear what sounded like a band starting to play. “I’ll let you go, the parade’s starting, but it was great to hear from you, and I’ll call you next week. We can figure out a good time for a visit.”
“Talk to you soon.” The line went quiet, and Raine closed the phone, shoving it into his pocket before joining his friends at the table, lifting the beer they’d already ordered for him, toasting friendship, pride, and all the guys they expected Raine to do over the next two days. The others were all in long-term relationships, so they lived vicariously through Raine, as he was the only “free agent” in the group. God, he loved this weekend. Taking a gulp of the beer to wet his throat, he joined the conversation, the five of them talking at lightning speed.
As the first float passed, the conversation died down, and it became all about the beads. While this wasn’t Mardi Gras in New Orleans, it was definitely the gay substitute. Put twenty thousand gay men in a confined space, throw sparkly beads at them, mix with alcohol, and you had the recipe for near pandemonium. People on the floats threw handfuls of beads into the crowds, and, of course, the less you wore, the more beads you got.
“Look over there,” Don said as he pointed to what looked like a frat boy in a polo shirt and chino shorts. Sure enough, the shirt came off, revealing a toned chest, and then the pants dropped, giving the world a look at nearly everything the good Lord gave him. “Now that’s a view.”
His partner, Chuck, swatted him on the arm. “Keep your eyes in your head.”
“I can look. After all, he’s showing it off for everybody.” Don mock pouted and then put his arm around the shoulder of his lover of more than thirty years.
Chuck shook his head indulgently. “Go get yourself some beads.” Chuck shooed his lover from the table. “Just don’t you start thinking you can drop your pants.”
“Hey!” Don responded quickly. “I wonder if they’ll give me beads to keep my pants on.”
“Now that’s a winner!” Chuck joked as he held up his glass. Grabbing Raine by the elbow, Don dragged them both into the crowd. The man was a fiend for the damned beads, grabbing and clawing his way to the front, snatching them out of the air. The man might have been nearing sixty, but he was tall and had great reflexes. The little boys didn’t stand a chance. The parade continued, with the accounting Elvi passing in the middle of it, waving and tossing a storm of beads at them as they passed. By the end of the parade, they both had what seemed like hundreds of strands of beads around their necks. Returning to the table, laughing and joking, they rejoined the others, sharing their bounty and another round of drinks.
“We should get going,” Bob commented as he and his partner Charlie stood up, “now that the parade’s over, the kids get down to the serious drinking, and we don’t need to be here for that.”
Chuck and Don stood up as well, and everyone exchanged hugs before wandering through the milling crowd back toward their cars.
Chicago evenings in June could range from oven-baked to teeth-chattering, but tonight was absolutely perfect. Unsure what he wanted to do, Raine wandered along the sidewalk, occasionally catching the eye of someone. Twice, he really thought seriously about pursuing someone, but decided against it, at least for now. A few times, he saw the guys from work, still in costume, having a blast. He knew he could join them, but he felt a little off.
After midnight, as Raine found himself walking back toward his car, a crowd of half-drunk, half-dressed boys made their way down the sidewalk, singing at the tops of their lungs, carrying anyone and everyone along with them. In order to avoid the mass of drunken humanity, Raine stepped out of the way between two clubs and decided to take a quick shortcut through the side street.
Raine could see his car, parked in the perfect metered spot—thank you, parking Karma—when he felt someone yank on the strands of beads still around his neck. Stumbling backward, choking and coughing, he tried to stay on his feet as he was pulled between two of the shuttered stores. “What’s going—?”
Before he could say anything more, a fist landed on his side, shooting pain down his hip and up almost to his arm. Before Raine could think, let alone move, rough hands spun him around and a fist sank hard into his stomach. Falling to the ground, he began to retch, throwing up on the pavement as a foot connected with his side. “Fucking faggots, when are they ever gonna learn!” Another kick landed, the force enough to lift him off the ground. He landed with a thud, and Raine rolled onto the pavement, protecting his face with his arms and hands, doing his best to roll into a ball as he continued retching and gasping for breath.
“Leave him!” someone yelled, and another kick landed on his arm, and Raine heard something snap, pain building on pain.
Footsteps hurried away. “Remember, faggot, you only got what you deserved!” Raine felt his hand slide back slightly, and he saw his attacker squat down, a switchblade appearing from nowhere.
“People are coming!” the other voice called again, and Raine let his head rest on the pavement. It hurt too much to hold it up. He expected the feel the knife at any second and braced for it. Instead, a hand fished into his pocket, and then he heard footsteps running away, and Raine let his breath slip from his lungs. Gasping to breathe again, he lay there, letting the cool of the concrete soak into his body; at least it dulled some of the pain.
Shadows passed in front of him, and Raine reached out to try to grab them, but they slipped through his fingers. He could barely get air into his lungs and talking was out of the question, so he lay there and waited.
Hearing footsteps again, Raine’s muscles tensed, and pain shot through him from head to foot. Expecting another kick, he jumped when a hand touched his shoulders. “Somebody call an ambulance!” More footsteps, and then a voice near his face said, “Help’s on the way.” Something soft slipped over him and some of the chill abated. Finally closing his eyes, he let the threatening blackness take him.December 29, 2010
Love Means... No Fear on Amazon
I've gotten a number of notes from readers asking when Love Means... No Fear will be loaded on Amazon and I'm pleased to say that it is now available. I hope everyone has a Happy New Year. Happy Reading!!!!!
No Fear for Kindle
No Fear Paperback
December 27, 2010
Love Means... No Fear is Now Available
Love Means... No Fear the latest in my Farm Series is now available at Dreamspinner Press. Also, if you'd like a signed copy of the paperback, please note that on your order. They do have signed copies available.
Blurb:Raine Baumer is living the party life in Chicago, indulging in short relationships with little emotional commitment. But after he's severely injured in a gay bashing, close friend Geoff arrives to take him to the country to recuperate. There Geoff and his partner Eli treat him like part of the family, and Raine meets Jonah, Eli’s brother, who is exploring life in the world outside his Amish community.Purchase from Dreamspinner Press
Jonah and Raine’s mutual attraction draws them together, but they may not have a chance to explore it. Jonah’s father is making ultimatums, and the police believe that the attack on Raine may not have been as random as it initially appeared. Raine and Jonah will have to face what they fear most in order to have any chance at a life together.
Cresting the rise at the far end of the field where a small cliff fell away, Jonah gazed out over the hills and fields all around him. This was his favorite place in the whole world.
“Jonah!” he heard a familiar voice call from a distance. Turning around, he saw his uncle coming toward him. “I knew I’d find you up here.” The older man stopped next to him, standing, looking out as well. “What is it about this view that calls to you?”
Jonah shrugged lightly, not meaning to be disrespectful, but he didn’t have an answer to give. Nothing in his relatively short life had prepared him for the feelings he’d been having for a while now. Taking off his wide-brimmed hat, Jonah wiped his brow and let some of the heat dissipate from his head. “I wish I knew, Uncle. I really wish I knew.”
“I’m not blind, Jonah. I see you looking sometimes, gazing out the window when you think no one’s going to see you.” A firm hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. “You look away, toward the outside world, and you wonder what’s out there.” Jonah turned, facing his uncle with a mixture of relief and disbelief, watching as the man broke into a smile before continuing indulgently, “I was young once, too, Jonah. I remember what it’s like to wonder, to be curious about what the rest of the world is like.”
“Papa says it’s harsh and cruel.” Jonah turned away, looking back out over the landscape.
“I know. That’s your papa’s opinion, and he’s welcome to it. I found the English world loud and raucous, but it was also full of loving people. I chose to return to the community as did your papa.”
“Eli didn’t come back,” Jonah commented softly.
“No, he didn’t. And your brother had good reasons for not coming back, I’m sure. Not everyone returns from their year away; most do, but some don’t.”
Jonah took a deep breath, held it, and then sighed loudly. “Papa wants me to get married.”
“I know he does. I also know that your papa’s scared.”
Jonah snapped his head around in surprise. His father being scared of anything just didn’t enter into his world view. His papa was strong, forceful, and took charge, shepherding both his family and the community, keeping them all on the straight and narrow. Only the minister was more important in their small village than his papa.
“Yes, your papa gets scared, just like everyone else. Remember, while he’s your papa, he’s also my brother, and I’ve known his a lot longer than you have. When Eli decided to leave the community, it hurt him deeply. Your mama saw it coming, but your papa didn’t. Thankfully, Jeremiah got married last year, and with his first grandchild already on the way, his fear has lessened, but he’s still scared.”
“Of what?” Jonah wondered.
“Probably that you’ll follow your brother.” Jonah opened his mouth to say something, but his uncle stopped him with a shake of his head. “Don’t say that you won’t because you don’t know that. But I think it’s time you found out.”
“Will Papa agree? He always says….”
“I’ll speak to him. Our year away was important for him and me, although he may not admit it, to realize just how much the community has to offer. But in order to do that, you need to see what the rest of the world has to offer. It’s part of being an adult both in the church and in the community.” His uncle went on, “You’ve seen other people your age driving cars while we ride in buggies, use cell phones every day while we only allow phones for business, have electricity while we use lamps and candles in our homes. Our life is hard, but simple and good. We stay close to the land while the English move away from it. I’m not saying our lives are better—that would be prideful—just different, and you need to see those differences.”
“What do I do?” A year away: it was something he’d waited for, longed for, but never dared to dream for. After Eli left the community, Jeremiah had requested one, and Papa had flatly refused. Jeremiah had accepted the decision, and that had been it. Jonah hadn’t dared even hope he’d get the chance to explore the outside world. So he climbed the hill whenever he got the chance and watched as cars passed on the road below, tractors plowed fields, and at night, when he could get away and it was clear, he’d watch other kids play baseball on the lighted diamond. He wasn’t close enough to see much detail, but he liked to watch the brightly colored people playing.
“What do you want to do? This is where you get to make some decisions for yourself.” His uncle placed a hand on each shoulder, looking deep into his eyes. “So far, your papa has made all the major decisions in your life; now it’s time you learn to make your own. And with the English, you’ll have lots of decisions to make.”
Jonah didn’t know how to respond. Up to now, the only decisions he’d made were whether to obey the rules or try to figure out how to get around them without being caught. The way he dressed, his work, even what he did when he wasn’t working, were all dictated and decided for him. He’d never made many conscious decisions in his life. Others had made them for him. Even his uncle had decided, after Eli left, that Jonah should help him in the bakery. “Can I go to where Eli lives?”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes, but I don’t know where that is. No one does. He never talks about it when he visits, other than to say they have horses, cattle, and they help people recover from injuries.”
His uncle’s hands dropped to his sides, and Jonah watched as he took his turn gazing toward the horizon. “I know where he lives. I’ve known for a while. I don’t go there, and I haven’t visited him there, but I know where it is. And once your papa gives his permission, and he will, I’ll take you most of the way.”
“Thank you.” Jonah hugged his uncle, and the two of them stood together, watching the world move beneath them. As the sun set, they walked together back toward home.December 23, 2010
Happy Holidays
Everyone have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone
Andrew
December 21, 2010
New Contract for Seven Days
I just received the contract for a new novel entitled Seven Days. In every life there are pivotal days that change everything. This story has seven of them.
Excerpt:
Evan stepped out of the warm car with its leather seats, vents blasting warm air and clean scent. He thought of looking back at the man driving, but he didn’t really matter. Evan knew that—at least he did now. Stepping out onto the sidewalk, nearly slipping on the slushy snow, he closed the door and jumped back as the dark blue Mercedes sped away in a fountain of water, dirt, and half-melted slush. Looking around to get his bearings in the early morning gloom, he backed further away from the street, running into someone who simply shoved him away with a grunt. With another stumble, he reached the brick building, leaning against it, taking stock of what he had and where he was, hands sliding instinctively in his pockets as they sought some sort of warmth. The hardest thing to get used to and get his mind around was the near constant cold.
His hands slid along the folded bills and Evan breathed a sigh of relief. Those small slips of paper, vital for everything on the streets, were a lifeline to a warm night and maybe even a bath or shower to wash away the scents of others on his body. Pulling out the bills, he slipped off a tattered shoe. Rolling down a sock, he shoved the bills deep under his arch with the others before rolling them the sock up again. The sound of ripping fabric made him groan and he looked down as the top of the sock, a few inches above his ankle, came away in his hand. Sliding his shoe back on, he left the tattered piece of fabric just above his ankle for warmth, letting his pant leg slide back down. His money hidden, Evan relaxed a little, looking around for that signal, the look that would indicate another man who might be willing to pay for what he was selling. Pulling his thin jacket around his body, Evan huddled against the building, his skin prickling, legs beginning to shake, arms aching as the cold seeped in through the jacket and his thin shirt.
Watching passersby, he caught the eye of a man in a business suit and long woolen coat sauntering down the street like he owned the world, and to Evan it looked like it did. The man, who might have been on his way to work, passed and continued walking before stopping, looking through the glass of a shop window. Evan knew he wasn’t really looking into the shop. That was one of the traits he’d already picked up. No one ever approached him right away; the men were usually shy or cautious. Evan watched as he turned and walked back toward him, stopping just a few feet away without looking directly at him. “Sure is cold,” the man said, looking around the street.
“Yup,” Evan replied, trying to stay out of the wind.
“Bet it’s warmer between the buildings,” the man commented, a not so subtle hint at what he wanted.
Warily, Evan pushed himself away from the building taking a few steps looking around before following his line of sight, saying nothing more. He heard the man’s footsteps behind him and braced himself. He hated this, he really did. A few months ago, he was a normal kid with normal parents and a normal life, and thoughts of what he was about to do had never entered his mind. Now it was an almost daily occurrence just to eat and maybe have a warm place to sleep. “Fifty,” Evan said and waited to see what the guy would do.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” the man said, and Evan moved back toward the street. He already had some money, and with it, he knew he’d eat. The man’s hands slipped into his pocket, pulling out crumpled bills. Evan took them, shoving the bills deep into his own pocket. The man pushed down on his shoulders and Evan felt his knees buckle, pain shooting through his legs as his knees hit the slush-covered pavement, even more cold seeping into his skin. The teeth of a zipper sounded and Evan began to retreat, his conscious mind pulling away, sheltering himself from the implications of what was about to happen—it was the only thing that stopped him from gagging, stopped the reflex to bite, to get away, or even to hurt. The only way he could bear the man’s voice as he called him every disgusting name in the book. Evan heard these, though; they penetrated his defenses because he’d said them to himself. He knew they were true because, after all, he was a “dirty fucking whore.”
Tears welled as they always did and he blinked them back as the man’s calls became more urgent. Pulling away, he could take no more. Jumping to his feet, legs wet, prickling with cold, Evan forced himself to move as the man howled his frustration. Peeking back, he saw him pumping himself as Even turned the corner, heart pounding. Realizing he wasn’t being chased, he slowed and stopped in front of a bright department store window, puddles of water glistening with reflected light. Looking down, Evan caught a glimpse of his own reflection and actually looked over his shoulder wondering if someone was behind him. He took a second look and realization dawned: the thin, drawn, old-looking face staring back at him with straggly blonde hair was him.
Stepping away, out of the light, Evan huddled beneath the awning of a dark window. His knees aching, he slid down the marble-tiled wall, arms encircling his knees, body curling into a tight ball, forehead resting on his knees, Evan felt the tears that had threatened multiple times come to the surface. “Mom… dad…, why’d you leave me?” he asked for what seemed like the millionth time as his throat tightened. Shoulders bouncing, Evan couldn’t stop the emotions that he’d held at bay for weeks. As they burst to the surface, he murmured, “I miss you both,” and he felt his face contort into the near-universal display of grief. He could see them saying goodbye that last Saturday morning as they’d left the house to go shopping. He’d asked to stay home, and as the tears ran down his cheeks, Evan wished with all his will that he’d gone with them. That way, the semi-truck that had skidded on the ice, crushing his parents’ lives and his entire world, could have taken him too.
“Son.” A hand touched his shoulder, and Evan jumped up, bouncing on his feet, arms bent, hands already clenched in tight fists. The man simply looked at him, his face calm, hands remaining at his side. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said levelly, almost serenely.
December 18, 2010
Andrew's Note to John McCain
I very rarely get into politics but I sent John McCain this note on his web site.
Dear Mr. McCain
I saw today that the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell is going to pass the senate and this law will eventually be relegated to history. I also understand that you led the fight to keep this policy in place. I am writing you to let you know just how out of touch you really are with the American people. Most young people today do not care about whether someone is gay or straight and they certainly have a sense of fairness that you seem to lack. All people deserve equal protection under the law and equal treatment by our government, something you seem to have forgotten or choose to ignore.
Ending this policy is good and if you cannot see that, then maybe it's a very good thing the American people didn't elect you president. See, just another example of how out of step you are. Maybe it's time for you to retire and let someone else represent the good people of Arizona in the senate. Maybe they'll elect someone who isn't living in the past as you seem to be.
A Taste of Love - Recommended Read from Fallen Angel Reviews
Teresa said: Mr. Grey has written a heartrending story about love and the human strength to go on in spite of seemingly insurmountable odds. Read the entire review
December 15, 2010
Andrew Grey Christmas - Winter Love
Blurb:
Forced by his father to evict a tenant from forestland he wants to sell, Blayne travels through the storm and meets Roeder. Stranded, he stays for the magical night and learns that his new lover isn’t at all human – he’s a satyr, and his life is tied to the forest. When Blayne leaves the next day, he’s determined to do what he can to save the land… and Roeder’s heart.
Purchase at Dreamspinner Press
Excerpt:
Chapter 1
Damn, I hate my father! The old bastard had me drive two hours in the mid- December snow to do his dirty work. Over the last few months my father had gotten a taste of his mortality. A mild heart attack left him tired and bedridden for weeks and he’d driven everyone in the house crazy. My father had always been pushy and bossy, even when he was in a good mood, but having him confined to bed was enough for any of us to contemplate smothering him with a pillow. My brother and sister were absolutely going out of their wits trying to cater to my father’s every whim. You see, my father had a lot of money, and they wanted to make sure they got their share. I was lucky, well, lucky and hardworking, since I’m the only one with a separate income.
While all three of us had gone to college, my brother Ned had graduated and then moved right back home with his wife Anne to live with my parents. My sister, Christine, wasn’t much better. She somehow managed to graduate with a degree in interior design, but she didn’t have the ambition and drive needed in order to become a success. They were both basically good people, and if my father hadn’t spent most of his time belittling everything they did, they might have made something of themselves. To be honest, I’m not much better, because I too moved back home after college.
This morning my father had summoned me to him through Raymond, his personal assistant. I was sitting at my desk in my bedroom working on a short story. I’d graduated from college with a degree in English two years ago. At first, I didn’t have much luck getting a job, so I spent a lot of time at the gym, and I started reading erotic gay love stories while I was on the treadmill. After reading a number of them, I figured I’d try writing one. I liked the process and enjoyed reading what I’d written, so when I was done, I submitted it to a publisher. They liked it, printed it, and I’d been writing for them ever since. In addition, with help from my publisher, I’d also had short stories published in a couple of magazines. It was a good arrangement, and no one in my family knew I had my own source of income.
I was just getting to the really good part of the story when I heard a soft knock on my door. “Blayne, your father would like to see you in his room.” I’d always liked Raymond, and I knew that he’d cleaned up what my father had actually said.
I huffed to myself because I was in the zone and could have easily finished in another hour. “Tell him I’ll be right there.” Raymond shot a smile at me and I returned it. I knew he was only doing his job.
Pushing back from my desk, I saved and closed the file on my laptop, locked it from prying eyes, then headed out of my room and down the long, paneled hall to my father’s office, located next to his bedroom. I knocked and then opened the door. “Raymond said you wanted to see me.” My father was sitting at his desk with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Papers were piled all around him. He’d always been a strong, active man, but since the heart attack he’d looked weak and sort of frail, but his tongue was as sharp as ever.
“Yes, I bloody well did. I want you to take care of something.” I said nothing and waited. “Over the last few weeks I’ve started the process of simplifying my estate. Selling off hard-to-manage properties and liquidating unproductive assets.” He sifted through some of the papers on his desk. “Your grandfather bought a parcel of wooded land decades ago. He never did anything with it, the fool.” Disliking your father was fast becoming a tradition in my family. “I was approached by a developer a few weeks ago about purchasing the property and I’ve decided to sell it.” That pronouncement hit me cold. I’d visited the property with grandpa and we’d hunted and fished there. Those memories were particularly strong and happy, some of the best I have, and I’d always hoped that the land would be part of my inheritance. But I knew arguing with dad right now would be useless, so I kept quiet. “I didn’t take the developer’s offer, it was too low, but there is someone living on the property and I want you,” he pointed and wagged his finger at me like a recalcitrant child, “to go up there and evict him. I’ll pay to relocate him and get him an apartment.”
“Who is it?” I’d never heard about a tenant and I’d never seen one when I had visited with grandpa.
My father waved his hand in dismissal, “He’s some old man that your grandfather let live on the property years ago. He shouldn’t be any trouble. He hasn’t paid rent in years. I’ve already called the sheriff and told him what’s going on. He’ll help you get rid of him if you need it.”
“When do you want me to leave?” I looked outside and saw that it was already starting to snow, and I didn’t relish heading further north.
“I want this taken care of right away. The sooner he’s gone, the sooner I can sell the property, and the sooner I can get this over with.” That was my father to a tee − if he got something in his mind, he’d take care of it right away; otherwise, it could languish for years completely ignored. He turned in his chair, his once bright eyes now dull and gray, “Leave today, and get it taken care of.” He turned back to his papers and I was dismissed.
I walked back to my room, swearing softly under my breath. I actually had work to do. Still grumbling to myself, I packed some warm clothes into a suitcase, grabbed my winter coat, packed my laptop and notes, and headed down the hall to the stairs. I passed Christine as I was going down the stairs heading to the front door. “Where are you going in weather like this?”
“I have to run an errand up north for dad. I’ll be gone a few days.” My face didn’t hide the fact that I didn’t want to go.
“In weather like this? You should leave tomorrow.” Christine was always very practical and probably had the most common sense of any of us.
I jerked my head towards the stairs and smirked, “Our father’s in a hurry and told me to leave right away.” I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, “I’ll be careful.” I really loved Christine; she was the most cheerful of all of us and she made life with my father bearable.
I knew she’d worry, so I promised to call her when I arrived, then headed out the door to my car. Unlike Ned and Christine, I drove a nice car, rather than an expensive, fancy car. My father had told me he’d buy me a car when I graduated from college. I’d told him I’d like to pick it out myself, so he wrote me a check. I bought a good, inexpensive, safe car and banked the rest of the money. I’d seen what complete dependency on my father had done to Ned and Christine and I wanted no part of it. So for years I’d returned many of the expensive but needless gifts I’d received from my father, picked out by his personal assistants, and banked the cash.
I unlocked my car, threw my things in the back seat, started the car, and pulled out of the circular driveway and onto our quiet, secluded street on my way to the highway heading north.
An hour later, the snow was still falling steadily as I continued driving. It was still mid-afternoon and, with any luck, I could make it to the property while it was still light, deliver my message, get a hotel room for the night, and head home in the morning.
I usually love to drive, but I was not enjoying this ride, and the more I thought about the task my father had set for me, the more I hated doing my father’s dirty work. Evicting an old man from the home he’d known for years did not sit well with me. Jesus, dad, how can you be so heartless? I already knew my father’s answer, “Money has no heart.” And let’s face it, money was what my father cared about most. Well, money and the power it gave him.
As I continued driving, the snow got steadily heavier and heavier. By the time I’d turned off the highway, it was a near white-out, but at least the wind wasn’t blowing. It took me another half hour to reach the property. A road ran around two sides of the acreage and I looked carefully to see where the tenant might live. After driving slowly along the road for 10 or 15 minutes, I thought I saw tracks, partially covered, heading off into the woods. I pulled off the road and the car immediately sank to the axles in snow. Great, just what I wanted to do, dig the car out of the snow. Luckily I had a shovel in the trunk. I pulled out my cell phone to see if I had service − just barely. Thank god, I could call a tow truck.
I decided to get the unpleasant job over first, so I pulled on my warm clothes, opened the door, and stepped out of the car into knee-deep snow. The trees were laden with snow, their bare branches black on the bottom with snow clinging to the tops. There was no human noise, just the sounds of the air and the trees as they creaked under their burden. It was a pristinely beautiful sight, the snow, the bare branches, the occasional green of the pines. I shut the car door and followed the tracks into the woods. Once under the trees the snow wasn’t as deep and it was easier to walk. The tracks were clearly visible and I followed then for about ten minutes. Finally, as dusk was starting to settle in, I saw light coming from what looked like a small window. Thanking my lucky stars, I trudged toward the source of the light.
As I got closer, I saw what looked like a small cabin. Warm light spilled from the windows and smoke rose from the chimney. I trudged forward and arrived at the door. I knocked and heard movement inside. A minute later the door opened a little and a face appeared in the gap. “What do you want?” The voice was mellow, rich, tinged with a little fear. “My car is stuck in the snow.” I decided not to conduct the business I needed to in the freezing cold and snow.
The door opened the rest of the way and I gaped, open-mouthed, into the eyes and face of a beautiful young man about the same age as me. I was expecting an old man, and instead my father’s tenant looked no older than me. How could that be? My father had specifically said that the tenant had lived here for years. “Well, shake off the snow and come inside.” I stomped the snow off my clothes and boots before stepping just inside the door.December 14, 2010
Excerpt - Love Means... No Fear
Blurb:
Raine Baumer is living the party life in Chicago, indulging in short relationships with little emotional commitment. But after he's severely injured in a gay bashing, close friend Geoff arrives to take him to the country to recuperate. There Geoff and his partner Eli treat him like part of the family, and Raine meets Jonah, Eli’s brother, who is exploring life in the world outside his Amish community.
Jonah and Raine’s mutual attraction draws them together, but they may not have a chance to explore it. Jonah’s father is making ultimatums, and the police believe that the attack on Raine may not have been as random as it initially appeared. Raine and Jonah will have to face what they fear most in order to have any chance at a life together.
Purchase an Advance Copy from Dreamspinner Press It will be delivered to your library as soon as the story becomes available. That way you are guaranteed to be among the first to read Love Means... No Fear
Excerpt:
“Are you going tonight?” a bright voice called from his doorway, and Raine looked up from his computer, returning a grin from Jeremy, one of his young and enthusiastic managers. God, he loved working in a gay office. The best thing he’d ever done was leave that stuffy, big corporation and take the job in a fabric house. Most of the employees were gay; hell, the owners were gay. It made the office relaxed, and there was always plenty of scenery. “We’re all marching together in the parade.” The kid had so much energy, and Raine found himself wondering what he’d be like in bed. Maybe he could put some of that youthful energy to good use. “Scotty even made a banner.” Jeremy’s arms swished above his head. “It says ‘Gay Accountants… Don’t be Accrual.’ Get it? There’s an Elvis theme.” Jeremy’s smile brightened even further.
He didn’t want to rain on the kid’s parade, but that slogan was bad, really bad, but Raine couldn’t help laughing anyway. “Yes, I’m coming.” Raine tried to concentrate on the last entries he needed to make. “I just have to finish these and”—he clicked a few buttons before pressing save—“there, all done. Let’s go have some fun.” Turning off his computer, he pushed back his chair and stood up, walking toward his office door.
“I love Gay Pride week.” Jeremy practically bounced as they walked to where the other boys were congregating, getting ready to join the party already in full swing. “I can’t believe the parade runs right in front of the building. That’s so cool!”
Approaching the group, he saw that some of his coworkers had already changed for the fun. “What are you supposed to be?” Raine asked as he approached one of the boys in full costume.
“I’m the young Elvis,” Dexter answered, “and Harvey’s going to be the old Elvis.” Raine saw the other man approaching in a fat suit, huge belt, full sequined pants, shirt, and even a cape.
“They were going to try to get a coffin for the dead Elvis,” Davis interjected through chuckles, “but we all agreed that was too tacky, even for us.” The group laughed and began heading toward the elevators. “But we did get one of the guys on Accounts Payable to go as Army Elvis.” Good God, leave it to a bunch of gay boys to milk a theme, any theme, nearly to death.
As the elevator door opened, their small group was indeed joined by Army Elvis, Hawaiian Elvis, and even Teddy Bear Elvis in a full bear suit, sans head—thank God—complete with Elvis pants, belt, and a paddle that read, “Don’t be Cruel.” “Don’t ask, you don’t want to know,” Jeremy quipped from next to him as they all piled into the elevator for the ride to the lobby.
Stepping out, Raine watched the looks from the other office workers in their business suits and ties. Heads shook, hands covered mouths, and a few guffaws greeted them as they filed through the lobby and out onto the street. “You guys go join the other Elvi and have fun,” Raine called as they walked down the crowded sidewalk toward where the parade was supposed to start.
“You’re not marching?” Jeremy looked up at him, lower lip jutting out on an adorable pout. “I was hoping we could march together.” Well, damn, that went way beyond a flirt. Hell, it was nearly an engraved invitation, and he very nearly accepted it. Hell, he would have without hesitation even just a few months ago.
“No, you go ahead with the others if you want. I’m supposed to meet some friends and we’re going to watch the parade. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like, though.” Raine watched as Jeremy looked up at him and then over at the other guys, trying to decide what he wanted to do. “It’s okay. Go on and have fun.” Raine smiled, and Jeremy bounded off after the Elvi. Raine watched him go for a second before continuing down the street.
His phone playing “Celebration” stopped him, and he pulled it out of his pocket, checking the display. “Hey, Geoff.”
“Good God, where are you?”
“It’s Pride Weekend, and I’m on my way to meet some friends for the parade. You know, you and Eli should come down next year. It’d be a blast.”
He heard Geoff’s laughter ripple through the line. “Can you see Eli at Gay Pride?”
Raine thought for a split second before laughing. “No, I guess not, although this year they actually have horses.”
“Real ones or just two guys feeling each other up under a horse blanket?”
“Actually both.” Raine’s laughter increased, and he continued down the street, spying his friends and waving to let them know he’d seen them. “But there are real horses, some sort of gay polo team or something. But seriously, you two should come for a visit, I’d love to see you guys.”
“We will,” Geoff responded, “and you know you can always come here when you need some peace and quiet or feel the need to shovel some shit.”
“And you’ve got plenty of that.” Raine could hear what sounded like a band starting to play. “I’ll let you go, the parade’s starting, but it was great to hear from you, and I’ll call you next week. We can figure out a good time for a visit.”
“Talk to you soon.” The line went quiet, and Raine closed the phone, shoving it into his pocket before joining his friends at the table, lifting the beer they’d already ordered for him, toasting friendship, pride, and all the guys they expected Raine to do over the next two days. The others were all in long-term relationships, so they lived vicariously through Raine, as he was the only “free agent” in the group. God, he loved this weekend. Taking a gulp of the beer to wet his throat, he joined the conversation, the five of them talking at lightning speed.
As the first float passed, the conversation died down, and it became all about the beads. While this wasn’t Mardi Gras in New Orleans, it was definitely the gay substitute. Put twenty thousand gay men in a confined space, throw sparkly beads at them, mix with alcohol, and you had the recipe for near pandemonium. People on the floats threw handfuls of beads into the crowds, and, of course, the less you wore, the more beads you got.
“Look over there,” Don said as he pointed to what looked like a frat boy in a polo shirt and chino shorts. Sure enough, the shirt came off, revealing a toned chest, and then the pants dropped, giving the world a look at nearly everything the good Lord gave him. “Now that’s a view.”
His partner, Chuck, swatted him on the arm. “Keep your eyes in your head.”
“I can look. After all, he’s showing it off for everybody.” Don mock pouted and then put his arm around the shoulder of his lover of more than thirty years.
Chuck shook his head indulgently. “Go get yourself some beads.” Chuck shooed his lover from the table. “Just don’t you start thinking you can drop your pants.”
“Hey!” Don responded quickly. “I wonder if they’ll give me beads to keep my pants on.”
“Now that’s a winner!” Chuck joked as he held up his glass. Grabbing Raine by the elbow, Don dragged them both into the crowd. The man was a fiend for the damned beads, grabbing and clawing his way to the front, snatching them out of the air. The man might have been nearing sixty, but he was tall and had great reflexes. The little boys didn’t stand a chance. The parade continued, with the accounting Elvi passing in the middle of it, waving and tossing a storm of beads at them as they passed. By the end of the parade, they both had what seemed like hundreds of strands of beads around their necks. Returning to the table, laughing and joking, they rejoined the others, sharing their bounty and another round of drinks.
“We should get going,” Bob commented as he and his partner Charlie stood up, “now that the parade’s over, the kids get down to the serious drinking, and we don’t need to be here for that.”
Chuck and Don stood up as well, and everyone exchanged hugs before wandering through the milling crowd back toward their cars.
Chicago evenings in June could range from oven-baked to teeth-chattering, but tonight was absolutely perfect. Unsure what he wanted to do, Raine wandered along the sidewalk, occasionally catching the eye of someone. Twice, he really thought seriously about pursuing someone, but decided against it, at least for now. A few times, he saw the guys from work, still in costume, having a blast. He knew he could join them, but he felt a little off.
After midnight, as Raine found himself walking back toward his car, a crowd of half-drunk, half-dressed boys made their way down the sidewalk, singing at the tops of their lungs, carrying anyone and everyone along with them. In order to avoid the mass of drunken humanity, Raine stepped out of the way between two clubs and decided to take a quick shortcut through the side street.
Raine could see his car, parked in the perfect metered spot—thank you, parking Karma—when he felt someone yank on the strands of beads still around his neck. Stumbling backward, choking and coughing, he tried to stay on his feet as he was pulled between two of the shuttered stores. “What’s going—?”
Before he could say anything more, a fist landed on his side, shooting pain down his hip and up almost to his arm. Before Raine could think, let alone move, rough hands spun him around and a fist sank hard into his stomach. Falling to the ground, he began to retch, throwing up on the pavement as a foot connected with his side. “Fucking faggots, when are they ever gonna learn!” Another kick landed, the force enough to lift him off the ground. He landed with a thud, and Raine rolled onto the pavement, protecting his face with his arms and hands, doing his best to roll into a ball as he continued retching and gasping for breath.
“Leave him!” someone yelled, and another kick landed on his arm, and Raine heard something snap, pain building on pain.
Footsteps hurried away. “Remember, faggot, you only got what you deserved!” Raine felt his hand slide back slightly, and he saw his attacker squat down, a switchblade appearing from nowhere.
“People are coming!” the other voice called again, and Raine let his head rest on the pavement. It hurt too much to hold it up. He expected the feel the knife at any second and braced for it. Instead, a hand fished into his pocket, and then he heard footsteps running away, and Raine let his breath slip from his lungs. Gasping to breathe again, he lay there, letting the cool of the concrete soak into his body; at least it dulled some of the pain.
Shadows passed in front of him, and Raine reached out to try to grab them, but they slipped through his fingers. He could barely get air into his lungs and talking was out of the question, so he lay there and waited.
Hearing footsteps again, Raine’s muscles tensed, and pain shot through him from head to foot. Expecting another kick, he jumped when a hand touched his shoulders. “Somebody call an ambulance!” More footsteps, and then a voice near his face said, “Help’s on the way.” Something soft slipped over him and some of the chill abated. Finally closing his eyes, he let the threatening blackness take him.
