Marian Allen's Blog, page 450
December 20, 2011
Eating and Inking
Long-time readers (Hi, Mom!) know there are three things I'm obsessed with: food, turtles and tattoos. Probably more than that, but three will do. So Inlet Breeze, our cottage on Tybee Island, was perfect for me. Go north about a stone's throw and you come to Tybrisia. Turn right and you pass Brass Anchor Tattoo. A block or so past that is the beach, the pier and, to the left, the Tybee Island Marine Science Center.
As always, I did not get, nor did I ever have any intention of getting, a tattoo, but I went in and looked at the flash (the art to be transferred) and talked to one of the guys. He was very kind and patient, and offered to help me find a "badass unicorn with flames coming out of his nose", which I was sorry to decline.
Mah new bestie.
We ate at The Crab Shack, then somewhere else, and were so disappointed with the somewhere else we had to go back to The Crab Shack to get the good taste back in our mouths. I post about it today at Fatal Foodies.
But I'm home, now, and the grocery calls. See you tomorrow!
WRITING PROMPT: IF your main character HAD to get a unicorn tattoo, what would it look like?
MA
December 19, 2011
Guest Post by Floyd Hyatt – Humor – Club Uniform
Floyd wants you to know that this doesn't represent ANY group of which he is a member, has ever been a member, knows a member, or will ever be a member. So now you know. 
I must say, though, that it sounds like he's eavesdropped on a Southern Indiana Writers Group meeting or two.
CLUB UNIFORM
by F. A. Hyatt
Alex, today's President-By-Default, banged the desk with his favorite multipurpose coffee mug/gavel/paperweight.
"Order! Order!"
He noted with satisfaction at least three members looking up from their manuscripts. Plus, almost a real quorum of writers had shown up this time. It was possible that a tentative resolution might get discussed, if not actually voted on and passed. Over all, he was pleased.
Carol blinked at his empty gavel. "Are you out of coffee, Alex?"
"No. Well, yes, but I can't fill my mug until I've brought the meeting to Order."
"Oh. Club rule?"
"I'd spill it."
"When do we swap critiques?"
"In a bit, there's some business first."
"Can you just get on with it?" David groused crossly, "I skipped a blog tour for this. Why couldn't we have had this Pow-Wow online instead?"
Alex looked uncomfortable. "Because we were to look at ideas for Club uniforms. We texted about that earlier. Marc had some designs to share."
"I wasn't part of that!"
"Ah. It's text – online. In your mailbox. Two weeks ago? Anyway, Marc-"
Josie raised her hand, so Alex interrupted himself, nodding at her. "Yes?"
"There's our Tee-shirt logo online, why not just make some tees up?"
"Not all of us are comfortable with that idea," sneered Carol. She nodded toward Donald, whose chest slopped down onto a ski ramp midriff, and poked a finger towards Arline whose weight, in her middle age, was prone to accumulating across the chest.
"Why this interest in uniforms at all?" piped John, finally looking up from scribbling notes on the short story he had brought.
"There's that Convention? Door prize of 500 bucks and two free full seminar scholarships for the first club attending with all members in uniform? Since it's right here in town, -We all decided we could attend, and…"
"Bah! Marc didn't even show up. Anyway, we don't have a club uniform. We're an online group. Define uniform, in our context," bawled Floyd.
Alex thought for a moment. "Erm, that's an idea, actually. How about we define the club uniform in the Charter as what we normally wear while writing? Then we can claim the prize without all this fuss!"
"I write in my briefs," piped Reginald.
"Bathrobe," interjected Carroll.
"Ditto," snickered Marc.
"Just whatever I have on from work– I write soon as I get home," mused David.
"Mah Teddy," drawled Darla, the romance writer of the group. She produced a languid, sly grin, batting her eyes at Alex.
Alex blinked.
"Motion seconded," howled John, "Lets pass on this so we can get on to our Crits!"
"I don't think…"
"Motion passed, whatever it was," waved Susan, just now putting away her cell phone. "Can we get on with the crits now? I have to pick up my son from soccer in an hour. Next time just use the site posts to discuss this stuff, Alex. You know writers can't be bothered with anything not in print."
He claims this is fiction. What do you think?
WRITING PROMPT: Write the same basic three-line paragraph in the style of each of these writers.
MA
December 18, 2011
#Sample Sunday #poem #funny
Please excuse the Twittified title, but I'm posting this early and I might not be able to retweet it with its hashtags on the day it goes up. It scares me a little that I understood what I just wrote, and it scares me even more that I'm not the only one.
ANYWAY, this poem appeared in the Southern Indiana Writers Group Christmas-themed anthology, CHRISTMAS BIZARRE, which is now out of print. The good news is, we have many new members to the group and we're collecting stories from them set around other festivities. We're going to retain the stories from the original anthology by members who are still … well … members, add the new stories, and reissue it in perfect-bound and electronically under the title HOLIDAY BIZARRE. "Bizarre" is not an unintentional misspelling of "bazaar". You can trust me on that.
TRADITION
(with apologies to Ogden Nash)
by Marian Allen
I've never been able "to see
if reindeer really know how to fly," but I know a Christmas tree
sure can.
All you have to do is take a man–
my husband, for example–
take him to the woods and let him trample
around in the snow, looking for the very best
tree he can find. Let the rest
of the family stay home where it's warm, or let them come
and argue and call one another's choices "dumb."
Choose a tree that looks just the right
size for the room. I guarantee you that the height
of that tree will be at least two feet over,
a fact which you must let your man discover
before he takes the tree inside
so, while everybody else goes in for popcorn and hot chocolate, he can stay out on the porch and cut lengths off the trunk until the tree is less high than it is wide.
Then
let him in.
Next, your man must spend an hour looking in the basement for a tree stand and then you must find it in a minute in the attic.
Your man's language will become emphatic.
Finally, let the tree not fit the stand, and let it lean once it's whittled down to size, and let it fall over unless somebody's holding it, and let everybody start fighting over what ornaments to use and how much tinsel, and let them all get mad and go to separate rooms declaring that they don't care if the tree never gets decorated and, when all this has been done, open the back door and stand by.
That tree will fly.
Yes, it really happened. Yes, more than once. Hence the title.
WRITING PROMPT: How did each of your parents deal with the logistics of holidays? How did each of their parents?
Hope your holidays are sweet with memories and warm with your love for others.
MA
December 17, 2011
Leaving Paradise
Today is our last day on Tybee Island. I'll be glad to be home, but it's hard to leave this place. It's beautiful, and the people are friendly. There's a lot of ecological and conservation awareness, and you can't swing a cat without seeing something being done to raise money benefiting cats who are traumatized from having been swung. Seriously, Beauty + Heart = Tybee.
I need to pack, I need to finish the story I agreed to write to pay my part of the rent, but I also NEED to go back to the beach and enjoy my last day here.
This is a picture of the Tybee Lighthouse. It's a real working lighthouse. We got there after hours, and waylaid one of the docents on her way to a Christmas party. She very kindly (this is Tybee Island) stopped and told us that the lighthouse belongs to the Tybee Island Historical Society, but the light belongs to the Coast Guard, who maintain the light.
The docent said that, in these days of electronic navigation, lighthouses aren't as essential as they used to be, but they're still kept in working order. Back in the day when the light was made by coal oil, there were three keepers who worked four-hour shifts, carrying oil up the steps and keeping the light in good working order. The keepers' houses still surround the light; Tybee has the only complete cluster of original buildings still extant.
She told us that every lighthouse has its own light style: Stationary or flashing, and the rate of flash and pattern of flash identifies which lighthouse it is. If you know your stuff, you can't be coming into Tybee and think you're coming into Cape Hatteras. So we learned something in spite of ourselves. And, no, we were not disappointed that we couldn't climb to the top of this honkin' tall building.
So we'll be on the road tomorrow. I have a Sunday post set up to go and, just in case I sleep through Monday, a Monday post set up, as well.
WRITING PROMPT: What is your main character's lighthouse?
MA
December 16, 2011
Friday Recommends – Happy News
[image error]First, I have a new short story out! It's a hard-boiled cozy called "Crumb", in which a tough broad who opens a tea shop (naturally, there's a cat in it–I said it's a cozy) is invaded by a hit-man hired by her daughter's no-good ex. "Crumb" appears in DARK THINGS II: Cat Crimes: Tales of Feline Mayhem and Murder (Volume 2). All proceeds are being donated to animal rescue charities.
SPEC THE HALLS is still available, with my story "Evergreen Gaze" in it, benefiting Heifer International.
2012 DAILY FLASH is out from Pill Hill Press, 366 daily doses of flash fiction (Leap Year edition), containing my micro story "The Perfect Boyfriend". Also 365 stories by other people.
And The Book Trailer Showcase is open! This site will … well … showcase book trailers. Today is the Grand Opening, so pop on over and browse around. I don't think any of my trailers or books are up there yet, but I'm in the queue.
Lots of good newses, yes? 
WRITING PROMPT: Send a character to a Grand Opening. What is it the Grand Opening of? A hardware store? An opera? A death-pit?
MA
December 15, 2011
Friday Recommends on Thursday
I'm languishing here in durance vile on a beautiful island where the Christmas lights are strung on palm trees, eating crab by the pound and working on my writing. It's a tough life, but I know I have to suffer for my art.
Meanwhile, Holly Jahangiri has been posting at The Next Goal about the qualities of a winner. I recommend them to your attention.
She takes as her text the Boy Scout Law.
A Scout is:
Trustworthy,
Loyal,
Helpful,
Friendly,
Courteous,
Kind,
Obedient,
Cheerful,
Thrifty,
Brave,
Clean,
and Reverent.
The words aren't all links to posts because some of them are grouped together in one post, but they're all covered. And, of course, a winner follows the Boy Scout Motto: Be Prepared.
I'm sorry, Holly, but it's inevitable that I add this:
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to do some more tough research for a story I'm writing about a woman trapped in Paradise.
WRITING PROMPT: Did your main character belong to a youth organization like the Scouts? Why or why not? If so, what did he or she learn from it?
MA
December 14, 2011
Here and There
I'm here on Tybee Island, Georgia, in one of the Mermaid Cottages with the Southern Indiana Writers. I'm appozabee working on a story, but I'm blogging. I'm addicticated to it. Got a pen-monkey on my back.
I'm also appearing today at Echelon Explorations, posting about the history of Mermaids.
Go read my post at Echelon, and I'll see you tomorrow.
WRITING PROMPT: Does your main character believe that anyone other than Mr. Magoo would mistake a manatee for a mermaid? Write an argument between someone who accepts that explanation and someone who doesn't.
MA
December 13, 2011
Trailing Clouds of Glory
Well, not quite. That's a quote from William Wordsworth's Intimations of Immortality From Recollections of Early Childhood. How do you like them apples?
Anyway, it's a classy and oblique way to lead into telling you I have a new book trailer. This one is for LONNIE, ME AND THE HOUND OF HELL, and is parked permanently on the BOOKS page.
ALSO, my trailer for FORCE OF HABIT is currently (12/12/2011) at Emerging Novelists. Coolio!
ALSO, I'm posting today at Fatal Foodies on the subject of sea food.
WRITING PROMPT: Write a paragraph or do a free-write beginning with the prompt "trailing clouds of glory".
MA
December 12, 2011
Critique Group Bylaws – SIW
Member Jeannine Baumgartle came up with these, many long years ago, for the Southern Indiana Writers Group. We've been together about 20 years now, so they must work pretty well for us.
Bylaws
(Or Concessions to Necessity)
I. Membership —
Interested adults, 18 and older
II. Regular collection of dues —
$1.00 a week as able.
III. Guests —
A. Guests may attend at the invitation of a regular member, provided notice is given a week in advance. (Does not include children under 18.)
B. There is a three visit limit without full participation, such as work in progress and something shared, participation in critiques and paying dues.
C. Walk-in arrangement includes an invitation to sit in as a guest, with acceptance of literature (bylaws and stylesheet) upon leaving.
IV. Publications —
A. One per year. We currently produce a series entitled "Indian Creek Anthology" with a different theme each year.
B. Submission to "Indian Creek Anthology" available to members only.
C. Editorial policies —
1. Stories and poems must be read aloud and discussed before they are accepted by consensus into the anthology (See Critique Process).
2. The book represents us; therefore mechanics and formatting must be consistent. Grammar and syntax will be open to refinement as necessary, and members may offer comments as to strengths or weaknesses, but artistic discretion is left to the author.
3. An objective revision should be made by the author, integrating points recommended by consensus.
4. Proofreading should be completed first by the author, then by the group.
5. Since we self-publish and market the book according to seasonal interest, we have to set deadlines. Late submissions will not be considered.
6. Publishing rights revert to the author upon publication.
V. Critique Process —
A. Bring a readable draft.
B. Bring enough copies for everyone.
C. Explain whether you want a thorough critique, or an overview.
D. Read it aloud, or have someone else read it for you.
E. Group comments and suggestions should involve free interaction with the author and show respect for content. Criticism is offered in the spirit of helpfulness; this is not an adversarial process.
VI. Itinerary —
Varies from week to week. Generally there will be time for literary critiques (After sharing time.) unless immediate business requires attention.
VII. Revisions of bylaws must be voted on.
WRITING PROMPT: Write a scene in which bylaws are not followed.
MA
December 11, 2011
#SampleSunday – Micro Story
One year, I did what I called Shorts in Season, during which I wrote one new flash fiction piece every three months. Ha! Slacker!
Anyway, the long version of this story can be reached from my Free Reads page. Here is a 50-word version I tried out:
Final Delivery
by Marian Allen
Dead end job. This box, then I send a tiny lead express package to my brain.
"Sign here."
She dances on the gravel, grey braids flopping, house shoes flapping.
"It came! It came!"
The day ends with a beer, not a bullet. A black wreath doesn't suit Father Christmas.
WRITING PROMPT: Does the micro story capture the essence of the "longer" story? Experiment with finding the "heart" of classic stories. of your stories.
MA
