Marian Allen's Blog, page 380
November 29, 2013
Frog Marching Friday
Found this really wonderful site, then lost it, but I’ve found it again. I know it’s late for NaNo participants, but you know what? IT’S NEVER TOO LATE. There’s no RULE that says you can only write fast during November. You can challenge yourself any time! You can challenge a bunch of friends. You can make your own steenkeeng badges!
ANYWAY, here’s the site, specifically this post: Writer Unboxed, Frog Marching the Muse. This is all Good Stuff, and I adore the titles, of the blog and of the post. This particular post is about getting the words to flow, even if they don’t wanna.
Don’t ask me why The Blarney Stone Blog is located at literarykiss.com, but it is. It’s a wonderful book review blog that is designed to make me want to run over somewhere and spend some money.
Although I’m not Jewish, I’m a new subscriber to another blog with a wonderful name: The Jew and the Carrot: Jews, Food, & Contemporary Issues. They included my beloved Russ & Daughters on their list of best Jewish cookbooks of 2013. Boo-ya!
Another wonderfully named blog (no, I don’t pick ‘em for the names, the names just seem to go with ‘em) I’m now following is Jamie the Very Worst Missionary. She may or may not be the very worst missionary — I beg to opine that she is far from it — but she’s a damn fine blogger.
Oh! And go visit Sweet William the Scot for some adorable Scottie pictures (as if there were any other kind). This is one of Katya’s new online dog friends.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: What is your main character’s favorite cookbook? If your mc doesn’t cook, what is the favorite cookbook of someone they know well?
MA
November 28, 2013
A #Free #Story For #Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Americans, and, to all my fellows who are not Americans, Happy Thursday!
Here is a story I wrote when Paul Molyneux claimed that you couldn’t make money off a holiday devoted to family and gratitude.
The Cautionary Tale of Silas Rockport
by Marian Allen
Silas Rockport was the King of Thanksgiving. He began with Happy Thanksgiving Day cards (Traditional and Spiritual at first, followed by Contemporary and Humorous). Then, reasoning that atheists had no emotional investment in Thanksgiving, and vegetarians had no gustatory investment in Turkey Day, he instigated and funded a grass-roots campaign to conceptualize the celebration as Togetherness Day. He pushed it all over the world, as an exotic import from the swinging but oh-so-sentimental USA.
The Togetherness Day cards were a big hit, and so were the matching paper napkin/plate/tablecloth sets, hot-’n'-cold cups sold separately. He did a big business in fragile centerpieces that only lasted a couple of years, but a soul-less rival came up with fragile-looking plastic ones that were indestructible, and Silas lost most of his market share.
That was when he had his first brainstorm: edible centerpieces for Thanksgiving/Turkey/Togetherness Day. The centerpieces–no! the masterpieces!–were spun of irradiated vegetable matter (artificial color and flavoring added) and came in a variety of styles and prices. One of the most popular was Autumn Leaves, made of cranberry sauce (red), buttery mashed potatoes (pale gold), sweet potatoes (deep gold), turkey–marinated tofu for the vegetarians–(brown)and pumpkin pie (orange). The higher-priced model sat on a revolving music box which played “September Song,” which wasn’t very appropriate, title-wise, but was all about the autumn leaves, and nobody ever remembered the real title, anyway.
His second brainstorm came after he had read, with mounting fury, a series of grateful letters from satisfied customers, telling him that they loved his company’s paper and plastic products so much they treated them gently, washed them carefully, and used them year after year with the pride of tradition. He knew that making a shoddier product would only alienate his market base, so they had him by the short hairs, there. Then it hit him–make the intended disposable products edible, too! He’d like to see them re-use something little Johnny had taken a great big slobbery bite out of!
The new items took off like wild turkeys. As the old paper and plastic goods eventually did wear out, the old customers bought into the new paradigm and, each year, the goods that weren’t eaten were run through paper shredders and given to the dogs. “Just like at that First Glorious Get-Together!” dewy-eyed people in commercials said, as music swelled and they choked back their humble tears.
Next, he launched a line of Togetherness Day action figures: Pilgrims, Indians, log cabins, scale model of Plymouth Rock, rustic tables, loseable and replaceable plastic foods, deluxe set includes your choice of Pilgrim or Indian costume in S, M, L, or XL, specify boy or girl. A Saturday morning action-hero cartoon show naturally followed, with a muscular John Smith, an equally muscular Powhaton, and warrior-babe Pocahontas uniting to fight the forces of Evil throughout the universe. The movie broke sales records on its opening weekend.
~*~
The rest of the story is free at Paul Molyneux’ Laughter Loaf web site, or you can buy a copy of the Southern Indiana Writers Group’s anthology, HOLIDAY BIZARRE. For more free stories, visit my Free Reads page.
Happy day!
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Send a character home for a harvest festival.
MA
November 27, 2013
Cake With Holes In
Our family has gotten so big and so busy, it’s hard to schedule get-togethers. Our latest one was set up at the last minute, namely, that very morning.
So I rushed home from church and baked a cake. It didn’t have time to cool, right? With me so far? The cake was hot, right? Wasn’t going to cool in time to ice it, right? I was going to put the icing on the hot cake. So I poked holes in it and put the icing on.
And Charlie carried it down to #1 Daughter’s, where the party was, and I collected Mom and followed. And one of the daughters pulled me aside and said, “Dad uncovered the cake and said, ‘Don’t ask me why there are holes in the cake. You’ll have to ask Marian.’ Hee hee.” All the women knew.
Do you know?
P.S. It was a box spice cake and I added raisins and walnuts. Sour cream frosting. Good.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: What does your main character take to a last-minute event?
MA
November 26, 2013
Seeing Is Believing
I know photoshop has destroyed the integrity of the photograph, but I swear to you, this picture is entirely unretouched.
YES! It’s TRUE! This is a photo of an actual parallel parking event that I performed MYSELF! ON THE FIRST GO!
I haven’t performed a perfect parallel park since I did it during my driving test. Beginner’s luck.
There was some loser in that badly parked truck behind me giving me a weird look as I took this picture, but he was just jealous.
Loser.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: A character chronicles a triumph nobody else thinks is at all noteworthy.
MA
November 25, 2013
Advice For Bloggers
Here’s another post scraped from my old WEBLAHG. Don’t be judgey. I’m behind in my NaNoWriMo word count and I want to catch up today, ‘kay?
~*~
I am sometimes asked and sometimes read questions on blogging. Since I don’t blog (I blahg), I am loathe to answer, but I feel justified in posting on my own page.
How often should I blog?
How often do you speak? Once a week? Once a month? Blogging is like using sign language, only you already know how to do it and it takes longer. Also, if you make a mistake typing, you can correct it. If you mean to sign, “Is she your mother?” and you sign, “She is ugly,” it’s too late to fix it, if the person you’re talking to has already signed, “I have just punched you in the nose.”
What should I blog about?
What do you talk about? What do you say to people that you think needs to be communicated? If nothing you would say out loud seems appropriate or interesting enough to write down, maybe you should consider not talking so much.
Should I focus my content? How do I choose a focus? How do I “create a brand” for myself?
What are you, a bottle of ketchup?
Okay, that was snotty. I’m sorry.
You can focus your content if you want to, and brand yourself if you want to. How do you want to be known: as a writer? as a writing coach? as an inspiration? as a go-to resource for cooking tips, gardening expertise, child-rearing, Japanese culture? Focus on the content that interests you, that you feel you can provide. “Brand” yourself as whatever you feel you have to sell. Name and subtitle your blog appropriately, like, TOO MANY CHICKENS: WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE EGGS! Then, right away, people think of you as The Egg Guru.
How do I make my blog “sticky”, so readers stay on it and look at different pages?
Give them something to look at, duh.
How do I get people to come back for repeat visits?
People make repeat visits?
How do I keep my content fresh and valuable?
Content?
So, as you see, blogging isn’t really all that difficult, and blahgging is less difficult, still. Have a nice day.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Pretend one of your characters has a blog. If your character DOES have a blog, what would you post in the comments section? What would another of your characters, from a different book/story, post in the comments section? What would a character from tv/movies/literature post in the comments section?
MA
November 24, 2013
#SampleSunday Wiseassery
What’s a Romance without a little sparring, eh? A little bad feeling and a little rivalry, eh?
At this point in my machinations, the male lead (Del) has moved out of The Feathery Nest, the bed & breakfast co-owned by the female lead (Parma) and into a small rental house. He has left his cousin Wade (Waddy) and his dog (the one who bit Parma) and has taken Westley (the cat) with him, but the cat ran away. Del is directing a small-town play as a celebrity guest director, and the production manager has asked Parma to help on sets.
Shhh! The scene is ready to begin:
WORSE THAN HIS BARK – excerpt
by Marian Allen
Parma swaggered into the theater, waving to Andy, who was directing a couple of high school boys in arranging a flat on the stage. Del was there, she was pleased to see, sitting knee-to-knee on the front row with Beverly “Bigfoot” Jacobi.
Beverly never crossed her legs. She always tucked them (or as much of them as would fit) demurely under her chair. Parma wondered if Del had noticed the size of them, or if he had been too busy noticing the size of something else that also came in pairs. Hard to believe he hadn’t; if feet were dogs, Beverly’s would be Great Pyrenees.
Parma went over. Beverly smiled at her, not considering her a rival. Which she wasn’t.
Del met her look with a blank what-can-I-do-for-you-stranger expression that made her want to smack it off his face.
“Waddy wanted me to tell you that Westley came home.”
Del said, “Waddy came to my house?”
My house. He moves in quick.
“No, to my house. The Feathery Nest.”
“Oh,” Del said. “Oh, good. I’ll come get him tomorrow, if that’s all right.”
“Waddy says he’d just run away again. Waddy’s having Jo drive him out to the mall so he can replace the supplies you took with you. He says you were right, and Westley ought to be allowed to go where he wants to go, even though he’d rather keep him safe indoors. He says Westley might want to go back and forth between the Nest and your place.”
“Poor kitty,” said Beverly. “The product of a broken home.”
Only someone who was not the product of a broken home could say that as if it were funny.
Del said, “He had a warm home, good food, people who cared about him, and he prefers running the alley.” He shrugged irritably.
“I know,” said Parma. “Some cats just don’t know when they’re well off.”
Del gave her a sharp look, but she smiled blandly and said, “A cat’s gotta do whatever floats his boat, that’s what I say about it.”
Beverly laughed until she snorted. “A cat in a boat! Oh, Parma, I never knew you were so funny!”
~*~
I’m a little bit stuck on the project at the moment. Somebody blow pixie dust on me and think lovely, wonderful thoughts.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Is your main character the product of a broken home? How does he or she feel about being or not being so?
MA
November 23, 2013
#Caturday Katya Goes Nuts
Katya Graymalkin here.
Last week, Mom went to an art-and-craft fair where she sold some books. And do you know what? There was jewelery for cats there, and Mom didn’t buy me any!
Here’s who makes it:
The owner and designer of Pretty Little Peanut is Julia Henderson, and Mom says she was very nice, and so was her daughter. They don’t have a web page, just a Facebook page. Here’s the Facebook page for Pretty Little Peanut.
In case you can’t see it on Facebook, here are some fashions Mom took a picture of.
And these, which are the ones I really want.
Mom told Julia that I wouldn’t wear these. She’s probably right, but I think I deserve the chance to pitch a fit, open a vein in Mom’s arm from the wrist to the elbow, and break the necklace so the beads go everywhere including down the heating duct. Don’t you?
Maybe Mom will buy me some another time. Just in case she loses Julia’s card, the business phone is 502-609-1206 and the email is PrettyLittlePeanutBows@gmail.com.
p.s. Julia tells me she’s setting up a shop on Etsy called Pretty Peanut Pet Bows. Bookmark it now so you can check it as she puts more goodies on it. HINT HINT, MOM!
A WRITING PROMPT FOR ANIMALS: Your human puts jewelry or clothing on you. Do you like it, or not?
KG
November 22, 2013
YOU Recommend To ME
On Friday, I usually recommend a book or a movie or a website, and I have a couple of recommendations today, but how about you use the comments section to tell me some of YOUR favorites? Not your own, please; let someone else do that for you. 
If you’re overwhelmed with all the books out there, you need a reviewer you can trust to help guide you. I’ve just “met” Jorie in a Twitter chat. Here’s her book blog, which I plan to follow: Jorie Loves A Story. Isn’t that a great name?
Last evening, Imaginarium held a Twitter party using a site called Twubs. I had never heard of Twubs before, but I like it. The best part is, when it’s open, the icon on the browser tab, a cute li’l square bird head, BLINKS ITS EYES. How cute is that?
So there you go: a few recommendations from me. What are some of your favorite websites?
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: A character stumbles on a website he or she never dreamed existed.
MA
November 21, 2013
The Weirdest Thing About Writing
When I picked Mom up yesterday to take her to her doctor’s, I was feeling uneasy and anxious. She knows how I am, so she asked, “Anything in particular, or just one of those days?”
I told her it was because my male lead in my work in progress had just made a really stupid decision.
She said, “Why did you let him do it? You better fix it.”
Well, I can’t fix it, because I made it happen on purpose, because I’m not a good enough writer to write a story in which everybody invariably makes the right decision and have it still be interesting. There may be a writer who’s that good, but that writer isn’t me. Isn’t I.
So that’s what’s weird. We deliberately invent people, and we invent things to have happen to them, and then we have emotional reactions to the things we pretend happen to our imaginary friends and enemies.
And here’s another weird thing, that’s sort of the same: Sometimes, in putting ourselves in the point of view of a character in a certain place in a certain circumstance performing a certain action, we see or experience something unplanned. Then, of course, we have to decide whether or not to keep it.
Yesterday, for instance, Del is in a room with the bombshell realtor and this happened:
“Beverly,” he said, “I don’t know how I can ever thank you. You’ve made my dreams come true overnight.”
She looked at him from under her lashes. “That’s my specialty: Making dreams come true overnight.”
He dropped the map. When he bent to pick it up, he took the opportunity to enjoy a view of shapely legs, delicate ankles, and my God, look at the size of those feet.
I sure didn’t expect that, but I think I’m going to keep it.
That kind of thing. That’s weird. But boy, oh, boy, is it fun.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Someone your main character thought was perfect has an unexpected flaw.
MA
November 20, 2013
The Staff of Life
That would be bread, dear hearts. Oh, how Charlie and I love bread! The best thing ever is Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day, which is a lie, but is still speedy-quick and delicious.
Here’s how it goes:
Bread
Mix the first three ingredients. Mix in two cups of flour until fairly lumpless. Mix in the rest of the flour. It will be oopy-gloopy.
Put it in a lightly covered container and let it double. Put it in the refrigerator and let it chill.
Take it out and sprinkle a board with corn meal. Sprinkle the top of the dough with flour. Pull out a big lump of the dough and shape it into a loaf. Let it rise for 20 minutes while you preheat the oven to 450 degrees F for 20 minutes.
Sprinkle the top of the loaf with flour and cut a line down the loaf with a sharp knife.
Bake for 20 minutes and cool on a wire rack.
YUM!
Put the rest of the dough back in the refrigerator and have more bread another day. Check out that web site for a bazillion recipes! (more or less)
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: What kind of bread does your main character like? Plain white factory bread? Pumpernickel? Multi-grain? My husband calls plain white factory bread “Styrofoam bread” and our oldest grandson used to call Roman Meal “knight bread.” Come up with some nicknames for your characters to call their own or other people’s preferences.
MA
