Marian Allen's Blog, page 367
April 8, 2014
Gorillaz Band. Musical Band, I Mean AtoZ Letter G
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The Gorillaz provide another item for the Department of Songs That Don’t Mean What I Claim They Mean.
The name of the song is Clint Eastwood, okay? And one of the lines is, “I got sunshine in a bag,” right? And it samples that twiddly bit from the theme song of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, see? So it’s OBVIOUSLY about eating popcorn and watching a spaghetti Western. YES UHUH IT IS TOO!
GORILLAZ SONG ABOUT EATING POPCORN AND WATCHING A SPAGHETTI WESTERN
I ain’t happy but, I’m feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I’m useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
I am happy, I’m feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I’m useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
Is coming on
Is coming on
Is coming on
Yeah, ha ha!
Finally someone let me out of my cage
Now, time for me is nothing ’cause I’m counting no age
Now I couldn’t be there
Now you shouldn’t be scared
I’m good at repairs
And I’m under each snare
Intangible
Bet you didn’t think so I command you to
Panoramic view
Look I’ll make it all manageable
Pick and choose
Sit and lose
All you different crews
Chicks and dudes
Who you think is really kickin’ tunes?
And it goes on. If you want to see/hear the rest of it, here’s a link to it on YouTube. They’re an awesomely awesome group, and I love love love them!
I’m posting at Fatal Foodies today on the subject of ghee, which I also love.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Write a scene with popcorn in it.
MA
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April 7, 2014
Fairy Tales for A to Z Letter F
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Fairy tales were mother’s milk to me. I’ve always loved them, and I love them still. No, that doesn’t mean I watch Once Upon A Time (no link provided). I started out watching it and loving it, then it turned from a fairy tale extravaganza into a Disney product placement extravaganza, and I was like, “Screw this for a game of soldiers.”
Fairy tales take a minute to set things up and then get right to the point: Once upon a time there was a princess who was as good as she was beautiful, but one day…. BOOM! The story!
King of the Fairy Tales
The prime fairy tale guy, for me, was Andrew Lang, collector of the Fairy Books of Many Colors. The best part about these stories (other than the gorgeous illustrations) is that they come from many cultures, not just the Western world. There are 12 of the books: blue, red, yellow, violet, crimson, orange, brown, lilac, pink, grey, green, and olive. I have seven of those, with five on my wish list to buy when I sell enough of my own fairy-tale-inspired fantasy, SAGE.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Write a fairy tale about a princess who was as good as she was beautiful and who lived happily ever after. Or about a boy who was as stupid as he was lazy but who ALSO lived happily ever after. Or both.
MA
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April 6, 2014
The Day the Dog Ate Popcorn on #samplesunday
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The dog didn’t eat popcorn on Sunday, not even a sample of popcorn. This is #samplesunday on Twitter, and I’m posting the story “The Day the Dog Ate Popcorn” today. I’m pretty sure I posted it before, but some bad pennies just keep on turning up.
“The Day the Dog Ate Popcorn” is one of the stories in my collection TURTLE FEATHERS, which got a four-spoon review (“Delicious”) in Flying Turtle Publications‘s book review. It also has a bad dog in it, which my cat always enjoys.
P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }THE DAY THE DOG ATE POPCORNmy Marian Allen
We moved from Louisville in search of a clean environment and got chickens. Go figure.
It was what you might call a minimalist flock–three. The smallest was Hennessy. The middle one was Chickabiddy. The biggest, most aggressive one, was Popcorn. Open the henhouse door, and Popcorn would be there, alert, balanced, beak and claws loose in their sheaths. “Go ahead,” she seemed to cluck. “Make my day.”
We had two dogs. Honeybunny was a big dumb blonde; her hobby was rolling in compost heaps. Lizzie (officially, Lizzie Diggumsmacks Allen), was a Cairn Terrier; her hobby was growling.
There were six of us: Myself, Charlie, and the kids (Annie, Beth, Ruthie, and Meg). Six people, five critters. That should have given us the balance of power. How was I to know Mother Nature had her thumb on the scale?
~ * ~
Now, we raised the chickens in a cloistered henhouse, but a day came when we remitted their vows, and they roamed free.
As the day passed, Lizzie studied the chickens, and apparently concluded that these were creatures she could do business with. She shook herself, as a man might roll up his sleeves, and moseyed toward the hens.
“Lizzie’s going after the chickens,” Ruthie warned me.
“She’s not going fast enough to be after the chickens.”
Lizzie began to pick up speed.
“There she goes!” Beth shouted.
Ruthie snatched up a switch: long, slim, whippy, and more suited to elevating impressionable young minds than to driving off determined carnivores.
The terrier struck. Popcorn, surprised by a rear attack, tore herself from Lizzie’s jaws.
I was raised in the inner city; I wasn’t accustomed to the random violence of the barnyard. I screamed. Little Meg, in my arms, tried to climb my head for a better view.
“Charlie! Lizzie’s killing the chickens!”
Popcorn streaked around the edge of the cleared land. Lizzie was right after her, her mouth foaming with feathers. Ruthie began to gain ground.
Lizzie caught Popcorn and Ruthie caught Lizzie. Ruthie thrashed at the terrier while Popcorn flopped, like a boxer saved by the bell.
Charlie pelted around the corner of the house, brandishing his weed-cutter.
The new cry rose: “Daddy’s going to kill Lizzie!”
Charlie dropped his tool and went at the dog hands-on.
Lizzie bit him.
“You bit me, you dog!”
Lizzie knew when to fish and when to cut bait. Now she ran, dribbling feathers and a drop or two of the Master’s blood.
Popcorn yet lived.
~ * ~
“How do you treat a chicken who’s been bitten by a dog?” I asked the vet.
He didn’t answer. He didn’t quite laugh.
“You don’t get many calls about chickens, do you?”
“Not chickens with dog bites, no. Most people–if there’s enough left after the dog finishes–most people turn the chicken’s legs over its head and stick it in the stew pot.”
How practical. How robust. How impossible.
We healed Popcorn’s wounds, but perhaps her heart was broken. Perhaps the shame of being outmaneuvered, then taken in retreat, was too much for her code of honor. Popcorn passed away in her sleep one night and was mourned by all who knew her.
Sic transit gloria chicken – so passes the glory that was Popcorn.
Turtle Feathers
99 cents
Read about it and sample it.
Buy it for the Kindle at Amazon.
Buy it for the Nook.
Buy it for iTunes.
Buy from Smashwords in all electronic formats.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Write a story about a bad dog.
MA
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April 5, 2014
Elvis on Caturday with Katya AtoZ Letter E
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Katya Graymalkin here.
Mom said she wanted me to post about Elvis today. I said, “Is he a cat?” And Mom said, “Is Elvis a cat? I’ll say! Elvis is the coolest cat ever!”
I got a little jealous, but then she showed me that he’s a different kind of cat. He’s a cool PEOPLE cat. Mom says I’m still the coolest FELINE cat.
I must say that, after watching this video, I agree with her, especially considering the song he’s singing. Best. Song. Ever.
Elvis Singing the Best. Song. Ever.“You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, cryin’ all the time. You ain’t never caught a rabbit and you ain’t no friend of mine.” HAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaaaaa!
Mom says her grandmother called my granny the night this show was on and told her to watch it, because that young man was special.
Mom and Charlie drove down to Texas one time, and Mom made Charlie go off-route so they could go to Tupelo, Mississippi and visit the Elvis birthplace. This is a picture of his house that Mom took.
So thank you, Mom, for introducing me to my new favorite song.
The A to Z challenge doesn’t include posting on Sundays, but Mom always posts a sample of her writing that day, so come back tomorrow to read a little piece of something Mom wrote. I hope it has a cat in it! Or a dog that’s crying all the time. Ha ha ha ha haaaa!
A WRITING PROMPT FOR ANIMALS: What is your favorite song and why?
KG
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April 4, 2014
Donovan Does Down AtoZ Letter D
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Donovan was another one of my musical obsessions back in the day. One of my favorites was the one I called “Down, Down, Down” but which was actually called “Celtic Rock.”
Donovan “Celtic Rock” Lyrics
Visit Donovan’s official site.
Down in the wood in the murky gloom
Trolls go marching two by two
Down through the cave and the mouth of doom
Down, down, down in the gloom, gloom, gloom
Hey, kala ho, kala ho la jai
Who should come by the mountain way
Young Finn Hanley a lute he play
Clothed in scarlet livery
All wide eyed in the bright noon day
Tiree, tiraloo, tiraloo I ay
And here he is singing it. Just a picture of the album, so don’t worry that it’s so small.
Kind of blows his image as a sweetness-and-light lightweight, eh?
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Outline a story using that song as your prompt.
MA
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April 3, 2014
Comfort Eagle by Cake AtoZ Letter C
The post Comfort Eagle by Cake AtoZ Letter C appeared first on MARIAN ALLEN, AUTHOR LADY.
Comfort Eagle by Cake belongs in the Department of Songs That Don’t Mean What I Claim They Mean.
COMFORT EAGLE LYRICS
Buy it at The Cake Site
We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are widening the corridors
And adding more lanes
We are building a religion
A limited edition
We are now accepting callers
For the pendant key chains
To resist it is useless
It is useless to resist it
His cigarette is burning
But he never seems to ash
He is grooming his poodle
He is living comfort eagle
You can meet at his location
But you better come with cash
Now his hat is on backwards
He can show you his tatoos
He is in the music business
He is calling you “dude!”
Now today is tomorrow
And tomorrow today
And yesterday is weaving in and out
And the filthy white lines
That the airplane leaves behind
Are drifting right in front
Of the waining of the moon
He is handling the money
He’s serving the food
He knows about your party
He is calling you “dude!”
Now do you believe
In the one big sign
The doublewide shine
On the bootheels of your prime
Doesn’t matter if you’re skinny
Doesn’t matter if you’re fat
You can dress up like a sultan
In your onion head hat
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/cake-comfort-... ]
We are building a religion
We are making a brand
We’re the only ones to turn to
When your castles turn to sand
Take a bite of this apple
Mr. corporate events
Take a walk through the jungle
Of cardboard shanties and tents
Some people drink pepsi
Some people drink coke
The wacky morning dj
Says domocracy’s a joke
He says now do you believe
In the one big song
He’s now accepting callers
Who would like to sing along
She says, do you believe
In the one true edge
By fastening your safety belts
And stepping towards the ledge
He is handling the money
He is serving the food
He is now accepting callers
He is calling me “dude!”
Now do you believe
In the one big sign
The doublewide shine
On the bootheels of your prime
There’s no need to ask directions
If you ever lose your mind
We’re behind you
We’re behind you
And let us please remind you
We can send a car to find you
If you ever lose your way
We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are building
A religion
A limited
Edition
We are now accepting callers…
For these beautiful…
Pendant keychains
So, read those lyrics. What are they about? LOST, am I right? I’M RIGHT!!! YES UHUH I AM TOO!!!
Anyway, happy C day.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Outline a story based on a twisted interpretation of a song.
MA
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April 2, 2014
Baba Ganoush Post Redo for B Day of A-to-Z
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I posted about Baba Ganoush last October, and I’m posting about it again today because Tuesday is Food Day on my blog. Also: B.
Here’s last year’s post:
Baba Baba Baba GANOUSH!Made some. Et it. Loved it.
Yes, I made some baba ganoush before and did NOT like it, but ain’t a lady allowed to change her mind? (Hint: The answer is yes.)
Anywho, I got some fresh eggplant from the farmers’ market, which may have been the difference between this time and the other, disappointing time. I roasted the eggplant, cut it open and scraped out its guts (HAPPY HALLOWEEN E’EN, EVERYBODY!), added some peeled and chopped tomatoes, garlic olive oil, sesame oil, (you can see the oils glistening in the light of my powerful flash — FOOF), lemon juice, and salt and pepper, and ate up every scrip and scrap.
I was very happy to enjoy it, since I love the name. How can you not love something called baba ganoush?
I’m especially happy to like it because I love Josh Woodward‘s song, Baba Ganoush, which I used for the 30-second book trailer I did for my short story collection, LONNIE, ME AND THE HOUND OF HELL.
Delicious song! Delicious dish!
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: If you had a theme song for your favorite food, what would it be?
MA
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April 1, 2014
Alice. Also: Alice A-to-Z Letter A
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I’ll get to Alice in a minute. But this is the first of the month, so I have a new mini-micro-flash story on the Hot Flashes page. Go read it. I’ll wait.
Okay. Now, it’s an odd happenstance that both my Alices were introduced to me in the same year by the same person: my pal Jane Peyton, author of When Push Comes to Shove: Callie London’s Vampire Adventures. I can’t remember which Alice I met first, but now I present them to you. You may or may not already know them.
Alice #1Alice Cooper is a guy, very deliberately edgy and kinda scary (at the time, anyway, in the — what — 60′s? (If you can remember them, you weren’t there.) Jane and I have many memories of Cooper concerts, near-death experiences and all, although Cooper himself saved Jane’s life at one of them. Good times. Good times. Cooper has also been in an episode of Monk as not-the-guy, and he does commercials. Here’s one:
Alice #2
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia
The other Alice is Alice’s Restaurant Massacree by Arlo Guthrie. The song is around 20 minutes long, so I don’t expect A-to-Zers to have time to listen to it today, but save the link and check it out when you have time. You’ll be glad you did! Here’s the original and here’s a more recent, retrospective one, done in concert.
Remember: you wanna end war an’ stuff, ya gotta sing LOUD.
Today is Tuesday, so I’m posting at Fatal Foodies on the topic of an actual restaurant called Alice’s Restaurant.
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: What happened to your main character 50 years ago?
MA
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March 31, 2014
The Crafty Lois Winston
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One of the front-runners in the crafty cozy writers, the crafty Lois Winston, is my guest today. I’m SO EXCITED to have her here!
P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; direction: ltr; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); widows: 2; orphans: 2; }A:link { color: rgb(0, 0, 255); }Award-winning author Lois Winston writes the critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series featuring magazine crafts editor and reluctant amateur sleuth Anastasia Pollack. Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun, the first book in the series, received starred reviews from both Publishers Weekly and Booklist. Kirkus Reviews dubbed it, “North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum.” Other books in the series includes Death By Killer Mop Doll, Revenge of the Crafty Corpse, Decoupage Can Be Deadly and the ebook only mini-mysteries, Crewel Intentions and Mosaic Mayhem.
Lois is also published in women’s fiction, romance, romantic suspense, and non-fiction under her own name and her Emma Carlyle pen name. In addition, she’s an award-winning craft and needlework designer. She often draws much of her source material for both her characters and plots from her experiences in the crafts industry.
Lois just got her electronic rights back on her Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series. Tell us about it, Lois!
~ * ~
P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; direction: ltr; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); widows: 2; orphans: 2; }A:link { color: rgb(0, 0, 255); }
Sometimes no matter how hard we try, things don’t work out the way we’d hoped. Back in late 2009 I signed a contract for the first three books in my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series. In the beginning, I was very happy. And my publisher was very happy. The books, the first of which debuted in January 2011, sold well and garnered great reviews, including starred reviews from Publishers Weekly and Booklist. I was looking forward to a long partnership.
But things changed, and I suddenly became concerned by these changes. You know that uneasy feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach? That’s a warning left over from our prehistoric ancestors. It’s like the robot on Lost in Space who flailed his dryer hose arms and shouted, “Danger, Will Robinson!” If you’re smart, you listen to him.
After several “Danger, Will Robinson” moments I made the decision not to sign a contract for any more books in my series and also turned down a contract for a new series. It was a huge decision and one I agonized over for a long time. I’d worked long and hard to become published, and now I was contemplating walking away from the legitimacy of being published by “real” publishers. However, in the end I knew in my gut that I was making the only decision I could make without allowing myself to become a victim. As Dear Abby used to say, people can’t take advantage of you if you don’t let them.
Walking away from a publisher is like getting a divorce. Very rarely is it an amicable situation. Last August I received letters from my publisher stating they were releasing the print rights to Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun and Death by Killer Mop Doll, the first two books in the series, back to me. All remaining warehouse stock would be pulped. Pulped! The books had earned out within the first reporting period after release and were still selling moderately well. Plus, trade paperbacks are generally remaindered, not pulped like mass market paperbacks.
However, although they were giving me back my print rights, the publisher insisted they had the right to keep selling the ebooks versions of each title. They didn’t. It was a clear violation of my contracts, and my agent began working to get those rights back. I’m happy to say, I finally have them.
One of my biggest gripes with publishers in regard to ebook sales is the price many of them charge. My publisher still has the rights to the third book in my series. The trade paperback of Revenge of the Crafty Corpse sells for $14.99. The ebook on iTunes also sells for $14.99. On Amazon the ebook is currently discounted to $8.69. On B&N it’s selling for $10.49. I think this is outrageous. Ebooks require much less cost to produce, and there’s no overhead. There are no printing costs, no paper and ink costs, no warehousing costs, no shipping costs.
One of the biggest complaints I’ve heard from readers is that the books are too expensive. I totally agree. We all have to keep to a budget. Food for our families, mortgage payments, and gas for our cars rightfully take precedence over ebook downloads. I certainly don’t buy as many books as I’d like to; therefore, I can understand readers who have limited funds to spend on books.
Since receiving back the e-rights to both Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun and Death by Killer Mop Doll, I’ve made them available as ebooks at the very reasonable price of $3.99. I hope more readers will now be able to discover and enjoy Anastasia, her oddball family, and her adventures as a reluctant amateur sleuth.
~ * ~
I know they will, Lois!
Where to find the crafty Lois WinstonP { margin-bottom: 0.08in; direction: ltr; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); widows: 2; orphans: 2; }A:link { color: rgb(0, 0, 255); }Visit Lois/Emma at www.loiswinston.com, and visit Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog, www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. Follow everyone on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Anasleuth.
P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; direction: ltr; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); widows: 2; orphans: 2; }A:link { color: rgb(0, 0, 255); }Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun
Amazon:
Nook:
Kobo:
http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/assault-with-a-deadly-glue-gun-1
iTunes:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/assault-with-a-deadly-glue-gun/id846196433?mt=11
Death by Killer Mop Doll
Amazon:
Nook:
Kobo:
http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/death-by-killer-mop-doll-1
iTunes:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/death-by-killer-mop-doll/id846205888?mt=11
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Do you have a craft or hobby? Does your main character? Drinking doesn’t count.
MA
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March 30, 2014
Karol In Hiding on Sample Sunday
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It’s been a while since I gave you a sample from my fantasy trilogy, so here’s a bit from SAGE. This is from Book 1, The Fall of Onagros. In it, the kinninger (ruler) of the realm, Karol, escapes from the men her husband has sent to kill her. She takes refuge with Moder Zglaria, on an island in the woods.
Karol In Hidingexcerpt from The Fall of Onagros, Book 1 of SAGE
by Marian AllenP { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }
Karol sat on the stone floor; warm, here, from the fire’s heat.
She felt she should fear the crafty, fierce old woman, but she didn’t fear her. From the moment she had stepped into the clearing, she had felt… not “safe”… not quite “befriended”… At any rate, she felt she hadn’t made an error in coming to the island. After all that had come before, and all that must follow from it, having made not-an-error should count as a victory of some kind.
Karol took a spoonful of the stew, a small one, so it would cool faster, and broke off a corner of the bread. She was starving. She was ravenous. She was dead, and she wanted to be dead, but the life inside her wouldn’t let her die. It was hungry, and the Kinninger ate to feed it, sitting on the stones before the fire.
There was movement behind her as she ate her stew and took out more; movement, sound, and a passing chill. As a sign of her trust, she didn’t look around.
A cup was held before her.
“Fresh milk from the cold room,” said Moder, shaking the cup impatiently. “Hasn’t quite cooled yet. Hasn’t separated. I ate all the butter. You have this.”
Karol took it, feeling she had passed some sort of test, wishing she could care.
She drank the thick milk and, while she waited for her second bowl of food to cool, turned the cup in her hands. It was fired pottery, made of green-gray clay. Copper filigree was fixed around the stem and half-way up the bowl, the copper forming figures. Figures of….
“Where did you come by this, Moder?” she asked.
“Don’t remember. I’ve had it this many a year. Why?”
“I’ve seen this pattern before.” Birds spiraled around the cup, the head of each half-lost in the flowing tail of the one before it. “No, not this pattern, but something like it. On a bracelet from Kozabir.”
“Not surprising. All sorts of things find their ways here, Cinnie beren Moder. All sorts of things find themselves all sorts of places, and the tales of how they got there would be mad. Use the cup while you’re here, if you fancy it.”
“While I’m here….” The words were bleak. “When must I leave? Tomorrow?”
“Do as you please,” said the old woman, lighting an after-dinner pipe, and settling herself on a stool across the hearth from Karol. “But if I was a lone woman, I wouldn’t walk about while the land was full of men hunting a woman alone. They might mistake you for the Kinninger, and hurt you when they found out they were wrong.”
~ * ~
All three books of the trilogy are available in print and for Kindle. Visit my SAGE page for links to all of them and to free chapters.
Book 1 – The Fall of Onagros
A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: A character finds something in an unexpected place.
MA
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