Marni Bates's Blog, page 7

GRADUATION!

Hey everyone,

I’m done with college.

Finito! Terminado! Finished!

I have to say, it’s a really great feeling. No more homework. No more pretending to be paying attention in my boring SOU class, while I secretly read romance novels.

Or not so secretly, actually. I’m pretty sure the teacher knew something was up when I started grinning. Probably because I was not smiling as he blithely wasted my time ranting about Obama’s first girlfriend.

Yeah. Never again!

Although, it is kind of scary because now I don’t have schoolwork to use as an excuse for procrastinating on my work. Like editing Invisible. Not that I would ever do that. *Blinks innocently*

My actual college graduation ceremony happened a few months ago. And I wrote a whole long blog post on it and then delayed actually sharing it because I wanted to include photos.

Then I saw the ones my family took of my very special day.

Complete and total failure.

First of all, they snapped all of five photos. And nobody noticed that my hair was absolutely ridiculous!

Don’t believe me. Here’s the proof:

I look like Count Dracula.

And nobody said anything!

Here I am with my lovely aunt! You can tell that Count Marnula is speculating about when she’ll be able to drink her blood.

And smiling at the thought.

Actually, that day I was feeling more zombie-like than vampiric. I came down with an awful flu the night before my graduation. I was able to keep it at bay until after the ceremony, but not by much.

Thankfully, my amazing friend Diana W. Rosengard drove me back to the hotel, where my aunt was waiting. She wisely let me nap before taking me out to dinner in the hotel. Honestly, I didn’t have the strength to move any further than that.

But even with the shivers and the sore throat, it was a magical day. And it was really great hanging out with all of my friends for the brief amount of time I was, you know, fully functional.

Still, it was kinda hard to feel graduated when I knew I had my SOU midterms waiting for me in Ashland.

But now all of that is over! Well, everything but the paperwork. I need to transfer my SOU classes to Lewis & Clark, but…c’mon, that doesn’t really count.

So what have I been doing with my time?

Well, my mom just bought a quilt store in Ashland! It’s called Sew Creative and in my unbiased opinion, it’s going to be spectacular.

That said, right now it’s in the work in progress stage. Which means I’m going to be spending this week sanding shelves, painting fixtures, cutting fat quarters, and doing anything else she needs.

I like to think this will earn me tons of daughter points, which I plan on cashing in very soon.

Specifically, July 19th when my mom is driving me very early to the airport.

Where am I headed?

LOS ANGELES!

Why?

Because I’m going to the ROMANCE WRITERS OF AMERICA CONFERENCE!

More on this soon–I must return to my sanding.

Sincerely,

Marni

April Fools! AKA Marni is a Pranking NINJA! Maybe…

Hey everyone,

I'm usually the one who forgets about April Fools day. And I also usually don't realize I've been pranked until about a year after the fact.

Not kidding.

Freshman year, my college roommate convinced me she had a boyfriend. And I didn't figure out that "Ben" didn't exist until the summer of my Sophomore year. She even staged a fake "breakup" near the end of the school year.

And like a chump, I believed her.

So this year, I wanted to be the prankster instead of the prankee.

And initially I was quite pleased with my success.

I started off with a VERY difficult act. I confessed on Twitter that after doing some deep soul-searching, I was ready to admit that Luc is hotter than Colin in Erica O'Rourke's addictive series. (Torn and Tangled have both been released. You should buy them. So freaking good.)

Now for those of you who DON'T follow me on Twitter (Why? How can you pass up my pithy tweets? Okay…my not-so-pithy tweets?) this might not seem like a big deal.

Two fictional guys. Who cares?

Um…a lot of people. And we're writers which means we spend a large portion of our time obsessing over people who aren't real. So…things can get a little heated in the Twitterverse.

As in, we have a bet going. And when I am proved right, my dear misguided friend Jenn Rush will have to create a video apologizing for picking Puke…I mean "Luc" over Colin.

Yes, this really is how I spend the majority of my free time.

Anyhow, so I went on Twitter today and I pretended to have switched sides. That I had realized the error in my ways *gag* and was now fully invested in Team Luc.

I tricked a few people. Here are some of my favorite tweets.

@MarniBates Does this mean you are crossing over to the Luc team??? 

@MarniBates yay!! You made the right choice. @jenn_rush & I welcome you! Things are hot & sparky with Luc

And from my fellow Team Colin-mate…

MARNI! SERIOUSLY?! *sad puppy eyes*

Alas, some people were not fooled!

Jenn Rush realized I would NEVER switch teams. And the author who started this mess, couldn't resist joining in!

Ha! I was reading my @ replies, saw this, and told Boyo, "marni is messing w/them."

D'awww…they know me so well!

This just inspired me to plan a bigger prank. Something MAJOR. And after a lot of consideration (And a little too much coffee) I realized it should be someone who was obligated to love me no matter what. Someone who wouldn't hold a little practical joke against me.

Someone other than my mom.

So obviously, I had to get my agent Laurie McLean!

(Love you, Laurie!)

Now this was dangerous for a few reasons. Not least of which is that she sends my paychecks.

Although knowing that we are going to be sharing a room at the Romance Writers of America conference scared me ever more.

I have a feeling that Laurie is well-versed in revenge.

EEEP!

Still, I consulted with evil genius/agent-in-training Pam van Hylckama and we created a plan.

A REALLY good one.

That has serious potential to become a REALLY bad one.

I sent Pam a fake email saying that a movie studio wanted me under contract and that I wouldn't be able to write any more novels for TWO YEARS!

Then Pam emailed it to Laurie and suggested the she call me…right away.

So here I am…waiting for the call.

And while I initially thought that being the pranker was better than being the prankee, I've discovered some distinct disadvantages. All this waiting around is stressful!

Because I keep running through bad possibilities. Like Laurie could call up my film agent and demand to know what the hell is going on.

That would be bad.

Oh crud. That would be terrible!

*Marni panics*

Okay! I can't take it anymore.

April Fools Day has defeated me. This year…

~Marni

Hotties of Literature!!!!!

Hey everyone!

Okay, so a bunch of authors have agreed to blog about one of our favorite topics today: hot guys!

Gah! It's just so much cuteness!

Where was I? Oh, right. Hot guys.

So I spend a lot of my time thinking about what makes a guy attractive. It's one of the things I love most about my job. And while I know some people may scoff and start muttering to themselves something along the lines of this girl needs to get a life, just hear me out.

I think what we read does affect the way we live. Which isn't to say that after reading Harry Potter you should try to play quidditich.

Still laughing!

But I do think that books (and movies) send strong messages to their readership about how men and women should behave. So when I write my novels I definitely spend a lot of time trying to find the line between confidence (hot) and arrogance (erm, no).

It's surprisingly hard!

I think most people agree that Edward Cullen overdoes it with Bella by being on the creepy side of protective. But wanting to make sure that your friends, you know, live to see the ending?

Super attractive!

So when I first started writing I had this small epiphany. I like my guys the way I like my girls: witty, snarky, flawed, and willing to fight for what they believe in.

And yeah, that means I like my guys to have some personal damage. That's what makes them feel real to me. It's also what makes me fall in love with them. If Logan Beckett wasn't so touchy about needing a tutor, I wouldn't have been able to finish writing Awkward. I would've stared at the screen and yelled "Stop being so freaking perfect all the time!"

Because perfection is boring.

But you're here for the pictures of hot guys, right? So let's begin!

Zach Gilford.

Um, swoon! I think it's the grin. It's part confident and part sweet and full on adorable! Small confession: Zach Gilford is the reason I watched Friday Night Lights. Larger confession: I didn't exactly watch Friday Night Lights. I skipped the football stuff so I could get to the good parts. You know, like every scene with Zach Gilford sans football uniform.

Although I soon learned that watching only the high school drama parts of Friday Night Lights earns a girl absolutely no cool points with the members of her college football team.

Sigh.

Still…while Zach has just the right amount of adorable, I think he's too old to play Logan. The guy was pushing believability as a high school student even back with Friday Night Lights was on the air.

So let's check out a different FNL hottie:

Matt Lauria.

If you're wondering why I seem oddly fixated with the guys from this show, I'd like to point out that that they managed to get the largest collection of hot unknown actors to join the cast.

Like Grey Damon.

I'm a little afraid to post a picture of him here since YA rockstar Brigid Kemmerer has told me (repeatedly) that he belongs to her. She may have told me to stop ogling her protagonist without permission. Although, I think her exact words were: MINE, MARNI. MINE MINE MINE.

But…can't look away! So. Much. Hotness.

*Fans self*

Damn. The good ones always go quickly. Which is why I'm staking my claim right now on…

Logan Lerman!

For the record: the name thing is a total coincidence. I did not have him in mind when I wrote Awkward. He's ridiculously perfect for the role though. The sexy smirk? Check. The effortless hot factor?

Um, yeah. I think he has that too!

I didn't stumble across Logan Lerman until I was writing Decked with Holly (my holiday sequel spin-off which will be released this September!) and that's when I fell under his spell.

Here's the embarrassing part.

I made a collage. To be fair, it's not all devoted to Logan Lerman. I used it to plot out the novel and…it looks like I'm a stalker.

(Hey Logan. Um, just in case you're reading this…I swear, I'm not a deranged fan. Really.)  

I took this picture a year ago and as you can see not a lot has changed.

Yeah…it's still pretty embarrassing. But the collage totally helped! Decked with Holly is the funniest of my novels and since I'm still swooning over Nick Wyatt, I must have done something right. For those of you who read the teaser at the end of Awkward, I pictured Emma Roberts playing Holly and Molly Quinn as Jen.

Although I'm always interested in hearing who you would cast in those roles!

I don't want to spoil anything for future readers so I'm going to attempt casting three of my favorite YA hotties:

1. Rob Wilkins from Meg Cabot's 1-800-WHERE-R-U series.

(A young Ian Somerhalder!)

Why is he hot? Well, there's the dark mussed hair, the piercing blue eyes, the confidence, oh, and the motorcycle! He's a good guy who is willing to break into a government compound to bust out the girl he met in detention. Rob might not be good when it comes to actually discussing his feelings, but he's always solid in a crisis.

2. Ash from Julie Kagawa's Iron Fey series.

Okay, so this is kind of cheating because I know Julie so I'm 95% sure she would cast…

Ben Barnes! (I'm guessing she likes his hair longer, but I think it's sexier this way.

So what makes Ash sexy? Correction: what makes Ash so sexy that he distracted me from the wildlife in Africa?

For starters, he's a prince among faeries. He's got a sly smile, a quick wit, and he's a crazy good kisser.

Or so I've read.

He's also noble and sweet, with a sensitive streak that I find utterly charming.

Which brings us to our final hottie!

3. Colin from Torn and Tangled by Erica O'Rourke.

Matthew Goode.

Not sure if Erica will agree with me about the casting (I'll be sure to post her response) but here's why I think Matthew Goode captures Colin's off-the-charts sexiness.

He's got that skeptical look, which makes you rethink decisions…but he's also going to back you no matter what happens.

Colin has made some decisions in the past that are making his life very difficult in the present. And the fact that he's hired to bodyguard a girl seeking vengeance for the death or her best friend isn't going to help matters. But he does what he thinks is right and that's why I'm completely in love with him.

Plus he's ridiculously sexy.

(Side note: Jenn Rush (author of Altered and Bot Wars) believes that Colin is destined for disappointment. She thinks Luc will get the girl in the end…but she couldn't be more wrong. I think. Poor Erica will have to listen to a lot of grumbling no matter what happens!)

Anyhow, that's all the sexiness I can handle right now!

I hope you join the conversation by tweeting with the hashtag #HottiesofLit today! Or if you don't feel comfortable with Twitter, maybe you can leave a picture of a hot guy here for me? I've got a novel to write and I can always use some hot male inspiration!

~Marni

P.S. Don't forget to check out these blogs for more hotness!

Jenn Rush's Blog

Brigid Kemmerer's Blog

Julie Kagawa's Blog

 

My First Blog Tour!!!! And serious amounts of hotness…

Hey everyone,

So, I'm officially participating in a blog tour for Awkward!

Yeah, I'm only a little excited about it…

Blog tours are super awesome. Here's how it works: I get emailed roughly ten pages of questions. Then I spend the next three weeks obsessing over my answers.

I'd like to send a big shout-out to my friend Laura who helped me through one particularly rough set of questions intended for Logan Beckett to answer.

If it weren't for her, I might still be staring at my laptop screen muttering "Whales or Bears? Whales are really big and cool. But so are bears! I don't know! THEY'RE BOTH AWESOME!"

Yes, this an example of an honest-to-goodness work-related freak out.

Which is yet another reason for me to love my job.

Anyhow: I'm going to update my blog here with links so that you can check out my blog tour and join in the fun!

You can read my tips for surviving high school (and college) here:

Marni's Advice!

I discuss some of my experiences in high school here:

High School Flashbacks!

And you can read a wonderful review of Awkward (and score a chance to win a copy!) here:

Fun times ahead!

And for those of you who enjoy geeking out over hot (potentially shirtless) boys: I hope you'll drop by my group twitter event on March 15th. A bunch of amazing YA writers (including my friends Brigid Kemmerer and Jenn Rush) are getting together to share pics of some of their favorite hotties.

I predict there will be a lot of this:

And this:

And if you're thinking um, why aren't they reading? Don't you know that there is nothing more attractive than that?!

All over it.

Four words: Hot. Guys. Reading. Books.

Here's the link: Hot Guys Reading Books!

Oh, and for all you Ryan Gosling fans out there . . . this always makes me smile.

Ryan Gosling Reads Young Adult!

Anyhow, March 15th is going to be a ridiculous amount of fun. I'm hoping it will also inspire YOU to share who you would cast to play the characters in Awkward! So drop me a comment here or send them to me via Twitter!

And if you are feeling extra awesome: you can always send me fan art!

Isn't this adorable! All pics will completely make my week. This particular masterpiece is brought to you courtesy of My Cute Bookshelf! You can check out the review that had me glowing for over a month here!

So many reasons to be feeling giddy!

Now I better get back to work. Chelsea is yelling at me . . .

~Marni

P.S. This blog tour wouldn't be happening if it weren't for Shanyn Day and Pamela van Hylckama Vlieg! Thank you so much ladies! I really appreciate it!

Rush Limbaugh isn’t sorry, I am not a Nazi, and other fun facts!

Hey everyone!

If you read my blog (And I’m guessing you do, because that’s what you’re doing right now…) then you probably remember I posted about Rush Limbaugh recently.

And I said that I was mad.

You know, because he insulted Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke roughly 46 times on his radio show and apologized only for two measly words.

Those words? Prostitute and slut.

He never apologized for telling her to post videos of herself having sex online. I think Jon Stewart said it best when he called that the creme de la creepy:

You can watch Jon Stewart here!

But that wasn’t the point of my post. For any of you who missed it, here’s what I said:

This news story isn’t about Sandra Fluke overreacting to a little name-calling. It’s a very real warning about the kind of gross mischaracterizations and verbal abuse that women face today when they stand up for their rights.

So you can imagine how great I felt the next day when my blog was cited by Geoff Caldwell…and I was compared to a Nazi.

Here’s that lovely little quote for you: Ms. Bates description of “what happened” could not be more misleading if it had been written by Goebbels himself.

I guess, he told me!

Except…he didn’t actually address anything in my blog. You know, about how birth control is a women’s health issue. About how the government has no business playing doctor without a license. About how everyone should have condemned the kind of vitriolic attack that Sandra Fluke experienced.

I’m guessing since Geoff Caldwell couldn’t be bothered to be polite he certainly didn’t have the time to address the substance of my blog.

The only time I laughed about this was when author Nina Berry reminded me that according to Godwin’s Law of Hitler Analogies, I won the argument.

That felt pretty good.

So for any of you who were wondering: I’m not a Nazi. At least I wasn’t the last time I checked. My Bat Mitzvah was a long time ago so…nope. Still proudly Jewish. And, you know, firmly against gas chambers and genocide.

And for any of you wondering who Geoff Caldwell is (or why you should care about him) he’s a guest columnist for the Joplin Globe. As to the why you should care about him part? Well, after reading this lovely message on his blog, I don’t think you should.

If you’re of the left side of the political aisle I strongly suggest you move along to a site more in sync with your intellectual capacity. (Disney or Sesame Street perhaps?) Between having less gray matter than that found in your average toad, having inherited the “government is God” gene at birth, and unable to speak the words “individual liberty and personal responsibility” without triggering a seizure, TheCorner has had to sadly conclude that today’s liberal is quite simply, just unreachable.

Ahh . . . that’s the spirit! Just treat anyone who might disagree with you like crap!

But let’s move on, shall we?

So I had just read Mr. Caldwell’s, erm, commentary, when I saw that Rush Limbaugh had just verbally attacked another woman–this time an author–on his show.

Here’s what Rush Limbaugh said:

What is it with all of these young single white women, overeducated — doesn’t mean intelligent.

I stared at that headline over a video and suddenly breathing wasn’t easy. I turned to my mom in disbelief. “Is Rush Limbaugh talking about me? Oh my god. Young. White. Single. Women. Overeducated. Is this . . . is this about me? But I don’t even have my degree yet!”

My mom told me I was being ridiculous. But then I pointed out that the link to the video clearly said it was an author he was now ridiculing.

That’s when my mom started looking nervous.

“It can’t be about you,” she pointed out wisely. “That makes no sense.”

And she was right. I wasn’t the woman whose hard work was being ridiculed and dismissed based purely on her gender. That lucky recipient was Tracie McMillan whose book “The American Way of Eating” led Rush Limbaugh to call her an “authorette.”

An authorette.

I’ve got to say, Tracie McMillan handled all of this very well. Certainly better than I would have if these barbs had been directed at me.

And make no mistake, calling her an “authorette” was meant to be insulting.

Why? Because it’s insulting!

It’s damn hard to become an author! You have to get an agent and a publishing company–neither of which are easily acquired. And one other thing . . . right, you have to write a freaking novel!

I remember the first time I was interviewed about my autobiography Marni and I saw my name pop up on the television with the title author right in front of my name. I couldn’t stop grinning. I think I may have even busted out my happy dance. It was just…amazing.

So if somebody had insinuated that I was an overeducated (yet unintelligent) “authorette” you can bet that I would want one very large apology. In fact, I would want it super-sized for the additional crack about being single.

That part felt like a really crappy Valentine’s day card:

Feel single and alone? Well rest assured that none of your accomplishments matter either!

Can we also take a moment to unpack the “overeducated doesn’t mean intelligent” part? First of all, I’m not certain that it’s possible to be “overeducated.” That’s like calling someone out for being too smart. If Tracie McMillan had three PhDs that would be awesome. I would think “Wow! What a fantastic message to send to girls! Excelling in school is something positive and attainable. Rock on!”

And I do think Tracie McMillan is setting an excellent example. Judging from this article about her time dealing with sexual harassment while working in a restaurant, she’s also an amazing writer.

But here’s the kicker: Tracie McMillan has a B.A.

Rush Limbaugh insinuated that she was “overeducated” because she has a four-year college degree. What kind of message does that send to women? Better not go to college at all, honey! They might overeducate you!

Rush Limbaugh has not apologized for this verbal attack. Just like he has not apologized to Sandra Fluke for any number of the wildly inappropriate and insulting comments he made about her. So, no. I can’t just shrug and say “Oh, well. He apologized. Time to move on now!”

One of Rush Limbaugh’s mistakes with Sandra Fluke was that he verbally attacked her on his radio show. A mistake he just repeated with another young woman. A mistake he could very well repeat tomorrow with me.

That’s why I hope people will continue to pressure Rush Limbaugh’s advertisers. He’s a misogynist who repeatedly uses his talk show to insult and intimidate women. And no, this boycott is not in ANY way a violation of his first amendment right to free speech. Nor is it censorship. This is about you deciding whether you want to support this kind of hate speech with your money.

Again, I love reading your comments. Just please try to keep it respectful. I’ve already been compared to a Nazi one too many times this week.

Sincerely,

Marni

P.S. If you would like to read Geoff Caldwell’s blog post you can see it here. That said, I see no reason to help his blog receive extra traffic. But I figure that you should decide if reading his post for yourself is something that interests you.

Rush Limbaugh isn't sorry, I am not a Nazi, and other fun facts!

Hey everyone!

If you read my blog (And I'm guessing you do, because that's what you're doing right now…) then you probably remember I posted about Rush Limbaugh recently.

And I said that I was mad.

You know, because he insulted Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke roughly 46 times on his radio show and apologized only for two measly words.

Those words? Prostitute and slut.

He never apologized for telling her to post videos of herself having sex online. I think Jon Stewart said it best when he called that the creme de la creepy:

You can watch Jon Stewart here!

But that wasn't the point of my post. For any of you who missed it, here's what I said:

This news story isn't about Sandra Fluke overreacting to a little name-calling. It's a very real warning about the kind of gross mischaracterizations and verbal abuse that women face today when they stand up for their rights.

So you can imagine how great I felt the next day when my blog was cited by Geoff Caldwell…and I was compared to a Nazi.

Here's that lovely little quote for you: Ms. Bates description of "what happened" could not be more misleading if it had been written by Goebbels himself.

I guess, he told me!

Except…he didn't actually address anything in my blog. You know, about how birth control is a women's health issue. About how the government has no business playing doctor without a license. About how everyone should have condemned the kind of vitriolic attack that Sandra Fluke experienced.

I'm guessing since Geoff Caldwell couldn't be bothered to be polite he certainly didn't have the time to address the substance of my blog.

The only time I laughed about this was when author Nina Berry reminded me that according to Godwin's Law of Hitler Analogies, I won the argument.

That felt pretty good.

So for any of you who were wondering: I'm not a Nazi. At least I wasn't the last time I checked. My Bat Mitzvah was a long time ago so…nope. Still proudly Jewish. And, you know, firmly against gas chambers and genocide.

And for any of you wondering who Geoff Caldwell is (or why you should care about him) he's a guest columnist for the Joplin Globe. As to the why you should care about him part? Well, after reading this lovely message on his blog, I don't think you should.

If you're of the left side of the political aisle I strongly suggest you move along to a site more in sync with your intellectual capacity. (Disney or Sesame Street perhaps?) Between having less gray matter than that found in your average toad, having inherited the "government is God" gene at birth, and unable to speak the words "individual liberty and personal responsibility" without triggering a seizure, TheCorner has had to sadly conclude that today's liberal is quite simply, just unreachable.

Ahh . . . that's the spirit! Just treat anyone who might disagree with you like crap!

But let's move on, shall we?

So I had just read Mr. Caldwell's, erm, commentary, when I saw that Rush Limbaugh had just verbally attacked another woman–this time an author–on his show.

Here's what Rush Limbaugh said:

What is it with all of these young single white women, overeducated — doesn't mean intelligent.

I stared at that headline over a video and suddenly breathing wasn't easy. I turned to my mom in disbelief. "Is Rush Limbaugh talking about me? Oh my god. Young. White. Single. Women. Overeducated. Is this . . . is this about me? But I don't even have my degree yet!"

My mom told me I was being ridiculous. But then I pointed out that the link to the video clearly said it was an author he was now ridiculing.

That's when my mom started looking nervous.

"It can't be about you," she pointed out wisely. "That makes no sense."

And she was right. I wasn't the woman whose hard work was being ridiculed and dismissed based purely on her gender. That lucky recipient was Tracie McMillan whose book "The American Way of Eating" led Rush Limbaugh to call her an "authorette."

An authorette.

I've got to say, Tracie McMillan handled all of this very well. Certainly better than I would have if these barbs had been directed at me.

And make no mistake, calling her an "authorette" was meant to be insulting.

Why? Because it's insulting!

It's damn hard to become an author! You have to get an agent and a publishing company–neither of which are easily acquired. And one other thing . . . right, you have to write a freaking novel!

I remember the first time I was interviewed about my autobiography Marni and I saw my name pop up on the television with the title author right in front of my name. I couldn't stop grinning. I think I may have even busted out my happy dance. It was just…amazing.

So if somebody had insinuated that I was an overeducated (yet unintelligent) "authorette" you can bet that I would want one very large apology. In fact, I would want it super-sized for the additional crack about being single.

That part felt like a really crappy Valentine's day card:

Feel single and alone? Well rest assured that none of your accomplishments matter either!

Can we also take a moment to unpack the "overeducated doesn't mean intelligent" part? First of all, I'm not certain that it's possible to be "overeducated." That's like calling someone out for being too smart. If Tracie McMillan had three PhDs that would be awesome. I would think "Wow! What a fantastic message to send to girls! Excelling in school is something positive and attainable. Rock on!"

And I do think Tracie McMillan is setting an excellent example. Judging from this article about her time dealing with sexual harassment while working in a restaurant, she's also an amazing writer.

But here's the kicker: Tracie McMillan has a B.A.

Rush Limbaugh insinuated that she was "overeducated" because she has a four-year college degree. What kind of message does that send to women? Better not go to college at all, honey! They might overeducate you!

Rush Limbaugh has not apologized for this verbal attack. Just like he has not apologized to Sandra Fluke for any number of the wildly inappropriate and insulting comments he made about her. So, no. I can't just shrug and say "Oh, well. He apologized. Time to move on now!"

One of Rush Limbaugh's mistakes with Sandra Fluke was that he verbally attacked her on his radio show. A mistake he just repeated with another young woman. A mistake he could very well repeat tomorrow with me.

That's why I hope people will continue to pressure Rush Limbaugh's advertisers. He's a misogynist who repeatedly uses his talk show to insult and intimidate women. And no, this boycott is not in ANY way a violation of his first amendment right to free speech. Nor is it censorship. This is about you deciding whether you want to support this kind of hate speech with your money.

Again, I love reading your comments. Just please try to keep it respectful. I've already been compared to a Nazi one too many times this week.

Sincerely,

Marni

P.S. If you would like to read Geoff Caldwell's blog post you can see it here. That said, I see no reason to help his blog receive extra traffic. But I figure that you should decide if reading his post for yourself is something that interests you.

Why What Happened with Rush Limbaugh Matters!

Hey everyone,

So…I promised myself never to blog mad. Again. This, of course, was after I discovered firsthand the way that my anger can obscure good judgement.

That expression…seeing red? Not entirely inaccurate.

That's why I've been so careful only to blog a few days after I'm mad. Although usually by that time, I have something positive I would rather share instead. I tend to let my anger fall by the wayside.

Life is too short, right!

Mainly, I started this Don't Blog Mad policy because I don't want to post something online which offends people and which might someday embarrass me.

But this time, I'm breaking my rule.

When I first found out about Rush Limbaugh's vitriolic comments towards Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke, I was furious. For those of you who haven't been following the story, here's what happened:

It all began with the Republicans in the House calling an all male panel to speak about upcoming contraception legislation. When the Democrats realized the Republicans had no intention of calling any women to discuss what is most definitely a women's health issue they asked to have Sandra Fluke speak as their witness. They wanted Ms. Fluke to testify about getting insurance through her Catholic university where contraception was not covered. More specifically, about the health problems that women at Georgetown faced because of this policy.

What health problems? One of her friends lost an ovary because she had to navigate around Georgetown's objections to her medical prescription.

Now right here: I was angry. Furious, actually. Politicians and academic institutions interfering with women's rights to consult a freaking doctor and get the medical help they need! I was livid.

It gets worse.

Republican Darrell Issa said that Sandra Fluke was "not qualified to testify" on the issue…leaving it, instead, to the real experts.

Men.

This Funny or Die video really lets the experts share!

House Democrats (under Nancy Pelosi) later convened a forum to hear Sandra Fluke's testimony. You know, so she could actually explain why this is such an important issue for millions of American women.

What happened next?

This is the part most people have heard. Rush Limbaugh called her a "slut" and a "prostitute."

Those two words have been getting the most airtime, probably because that's the only part of his three day marathon of misogynistic personal attacks for which he has apologized.

It's laughable, really, that he claims: I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.

Well, Media Matters counted at least 46 personal attacks in those three days. It's impossible to spew that much hate-filled rhetoric without intending someone to take offense.

Let's look at the highlight reel of what he said:

1. "Can you imagine if you're her parents how proud of Sandra Fluke you would be? Your daughter goes up to a congressional hearing conducted by the Botox-filled Nancy Pelosi and testifies she's having so much sex she can't afford her own birth control pills and she agrees that Obama should provide them, or the Pope."

2. "What does it say about the college co-ed Susan Fluke [sic], who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid for sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute."

3. "She wants to be paid to have sex. She's having so much sex she can't afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex. What does that make us? We're the pimps."

4. "The left has been thrown into an outright conniption fit. … The reaction that they are having to what I said yesterday about Susan Fluke — or Sandra Fluke, whatever her name is — the Georgetown student who went before a congressional committee and said she's having so much sex, she's going broke buying contraceptives and wants us to buy them. I said, 'Well, what you call someone who wants us to pay for her to have sex? What would you call that woman? You'd call 'em as I — slut or prostitute or what– that has sent them into orbit."

5.  "I'll happily buy her all the aspirin she wants. … We would happily buy Sandra Fluke all the aspirin she wants. What could that possibly cost? … I'm offering a compromise today. I will buy all of the women at Georgetown University as much aspirin to put between their knees as they want."

6. "Ms. Fluke, have you ever heard of not having sex? Have you ever heard of not having sex so often? What next that you can't afford are you gonna go to Pelosi and say we need to buy? Mink? A Volt? A Prius?"

7. "So, Ms. Fluke and the rest of you feminazis, here's the deal. If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it. And I'll tell you what it is. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch."

8. "So, if we're gonna sit here, and if we're gonna have a part in this, then we want something in return, Ms. Fluke: And that would be the videos of all this sex posted online so we can see what we are getting for our money."

9. "I want to know, who bought — Ms. Fluke, who bought your condoms in junior high? Who bought your condoms in the sixth grade, or your contraception? Who bought your contraceptive pills in high school? Wouldn't you be just as likely to go broke in high school and junior high as you would be in college?"

10. Limbaugh went on to say that an MSNBC anchor had said that "Limbaugh yesterday squarely aimed his words at Sandra Fluke questioning her virtue." Limbaugh then said: "I'm not questioning her virtue. I know what her virtue is. She's having so much sex that she's going broke! There's no question about her virtue."

11. Later on the show, Limbaugh played a clip of congresswoman Shelia Jackson Lee condemning Limbaugh's attacks on Fluke and calling Fluke "a courageous young woman." Limbaugh then said, "Stop the tape. Courageous. Recue that to the top. Courageous, having so much sex she's going broke at Georgetown Law. (laughing) Gosh, I love this."

12. "Here's a woman exercising no self-control. The fact that she wants to have repeated, never-ending, as-often-as-she-wants-it sex — given. No question about that."

13. "Did you notice in that sound bite was Sheila Jackson Lee or Maria Cantwell or one of them, talked about the strength that Sandra Fluke had to go before Congress — which is amazing. She's having so much sex, it's amazing she can still walk, but she made it up there."

14. "Here this babe goes before Congress and wants thousands of dollars to pay for her sex. Well, that's what it is. If she wants her contraception to be provided, that means she wants to have sex without consequences, with no worries, no responsibility."

15. "[T]he Democrats are putting on parade a woman who is happily presenting herself as an immoral, baseless, no-purpose-to-her-life woman. She wants all the sex in the world, whenever she wants it, all the time. No consequences. No responsibility for her behavior."

16. "Georgetown's a pretty expensive school. I don't buy your argument that's it unaffordable. Have you ever heard of the term 'budget'? Have you ever heard of aspirin? Have you ever heard of saying 'no'? You can't afford it, you don't buy it. You can't afford it, you don't do it."

17. "Were these kinds of women around when I was in school?" Limbaugh then said: "Oh, oh, no, no, no. I didn't know any Flukes. No. Well, wait. I take it back. Yes. Every school had a couple of 'em. You know, for every 500 students, every school had a couple of these. Now they're everywhere. That's what you're getting at, right? And the two at your school, I mean even with birth control, you wouldn't go there. That's the big difference. I mean there were women that you might think you could get a disease, but you didn't care."

18.  Reacting to the news that Obama had told Fluke her parents should be proud of her, Limbaugh said, "OK, I'm going to button my lip on that one." He went on to say: "OK. Let me ask you a question. … Your daughter appears before a congressional committee and says she's having so much sex, she can't pay for it and wants a new welfare program to pay for it. Would you be proud? I don't know — I — I'd be embarrassed."

I feel sick.

I've been watching this play out in the media and I keep waiting for my anger to ebb so that I can blog about it.

But it's not going to happen.

Sandra Fluke never discussed her sex life with the American public. She testified that women are being prevented from receiving appropriate medical care.

So why am I am blogging about it now? I'm terrified that America is missing Sandra Fluke's message.

I'm scared that with the preoccupation of his name-calling and his apologies (again, only related to the two words "slut" and "prostitute.") we are ignoring that the majority of Rush Limbaugh's unbelievably hateful attacks were based on an incredibly faulty premise:

That contraception equals sex.

It doesn't.

Really. It can be taken for any number of reasons, including to prevent cysts from growing on ovaries. It can also be used to regulate menstrual cycles to alleviate cramping and to ensure that the female body is functioning well.

Rush Limbaugh was vilifying Sandra Fluke but he was also insinuating that a lifestyle which includes birth control is one built upon reckless, empty sex without responsibility.

Here's my story:

A few years ago, I had a health scare. I've always had an irregular period but since reaching college I would sometimes go four months between cycles. And it made me really nervous. My mom told me to relax and said that there was probably nothing wrong with me. But I mentioned it to some of my friends and the more I thought about it…the more certain I became that I needed answers. I needed facts for my own peace of mind. So when I came home over break, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor.

It started out the way that all my doctor's visits begin: sitting on a long examination bed while I answer questions that should be obvious but which, for whatever reason, become illusive as soon as somebody asks them. My doctor pulled out various shiny instruments to check my blood pressure etc. and I felt myself getting increasingly jumpy. I started fearing for the worst. Rare disease with unpronounceable Latin names were surely the culprit!

I kept that particular thought to myself.

But it was all pretty straight forward: I explained about my period situation. My doctor took notes on her clipboard. And then she told me that my irregularity might make it hard for me to conceive in the future.

I was horrified.

Here I was, a college student, just informed that getting pregnant might be a challenge…and I wanted to cry. I wanted to bawl my freaking eyes out. Sure, I wasn't planning on giving birth any time soon. I mean, I still don't even have my college degree and I'm planning on making a career out of young adult fiction. I'm not exactly in a position to be bringing a new life into the world–financially or emotionally speaking.

But I've always wanted a kid.

So hearing that it might not be possible for me? Not easy to handle. My doctor recommended I have some tests performed at the hospital and I instantly agreed. I needed more information. I needed to know whether I was going to spend the next fifteen years of my life obsessing over adoption.

After a handful or awkward hours, the tests were complete. And after a tense week of waiting, the results were in: nothing wrong with my ovaries. My mom's prediction was confirmed. I was fine. Irregular, of course, but healthy.

That's when my doctor discussed birth control with me. It wasn't because I was planning on becoming an over-sexed twenty-something. It wasn't because I wanted to have wild, condom-free sex in the mountains of Ashland. Although, frankly, I don't see anything wrong with either of those things if it involves consenting adults who are comfortable with their level of intimacy.

I'm not going to share the outcome of my doctors visit with everyone. It doesn't matter. That should be between me and my doctor. The reason I'm sharing this story is because when I was terrified about a childless future, I discovered that birth control could make it easier. Simple hormone regulation with the birth control pill could make pregnancy possible for me.

That was empowering. Kids or no kids, I had control over my body, over my future. Now politicians are trying to interfere and take that power away.

Rush Limbaugh intentionally vilified Sandra Fluke as sexual depraved, immoral, irresponsible and reckless. He wanted to make this incredibly brave woman ashamed for demanding access to birth control.

I'm not ashamed.

I'm also not a slut. Nor am I a prostitute. My parents shouldn't be ashamed of me for speaking up for something I believe in.

Oh, and Rush? You know that little dig at Georgetown? The one where you said "Well, I guess now we know why Bill Clinton went (there)"?

I'm a student at Lewis & Clark College. And, yeah, our most famous alumni is Monica Lewinsky.

That doesn't make me a slut either.

Now a lot of Republicans have been getting very defensive. They've been hollering "It's not fair! Rush isn't the only person to ever make an offensive comment! Democrats have made them too! Why aren't they being punished?"

First of all, I have never heard of a Democrat making 46 personal attacks on an individual in three days. Rush Limbaugh has truly sunk to a record-breaking low.

But what I hope we can all agree on is that this kind of misogynistic language needs to be stopped. No matter the source, it is unacceptable. And in the future, I promise, if I hear about a Democrat making this kind of a vitriolic mischaracterization, I will blog mad again! In the meantime, digging up old stories about Democrats feels like a distraction or an excuse for Rush.

And I'm not willing to hear excuses for Rush.

What I find most troubling is that the majority of the Republican candidates for presidency have  limited their reactions to Rush Limbaugh's hate speech by simply addressing his language as problematic. They wish he hadn't called Sandra Fluke a "slut" or a "prostitute."

Beyond that? I haven't heard them denounce his sentiments.

I wish all of them would admit that this is a women's health issue. That Sandra Fluke is trying to make women aware of the rights our government is currently trying to strip away from us. I want the Republicans to be outraged at the nerve of a political body believing it has the right to play doctor without a medical degree.

This news story isn't about Sandra Fluke overreacting to a little name-calling. It's a very real warning about the kind of gross mischaracterizations and verbal abuse that women face today when they stand up for their rights.

I want to leave you with this final message from Meg Cabot, one of my favorite young adult authors:

Rush Limbaugh, I lost an ovary to cysts. I'm on the Pill to keep from losing the other one. And that ovary does NOT accept your apology.

Neither do I.

Sincerely,

Marni

P.S. For those of you looking to get involved in speaking out against Rush Limbaugh, I highly recommend you boycott the advertisers who support his show. The first amendment gives everyone the right to free speech. It doesn't mean corporations have to pay someone to promote their products. And it doesn't mean that you as a consumer can't demand that the companies you support condemn this kind of hate-filled rhetoric.

P.P.S. For those of you who are interested in where I got my source material, I primarily used Media Matters. I also highly recommend people watch Rachel Maddow's analysis of these events. Although you might want to skip the first three minutes.

Rachel Maddow

P.P.P.S. I would love to hear your stories. Please leave a respectful comment below!

Meeting the Monster

Hey everyone!

Well, today something really weird happened: I went back to high school. Now this is not the first time I've visited my alma mater, but it always feels strange walking the halls without obsessing over a future homework assignment. I feel a bit like a lurker half the time as I linger around classrooms, waiting for beloved teachers to have a free moment.

But today I ran into a not-so beloved teacher.

In fact, I can confidently say that this specific person made my life a living hell. For those of you familiar with my autobiography, you'll recognize her as "Ms. T" . . . for those of you who haven't read it, I believe I described her as a cross between Cruella De Vil and the devil.

I still stand behind that statement.

This woman told me that nobody liked me. That I had no friends. That I was immature. That even my other teachers didn't enjoy having me in class.

This woman glared at me every single day. To the point that another student turned it into a game. He would say, "Hey Marni!" just to see how long it would take her to rebuke me.

This woman booted me out of a team photograph because I was the only person who hadn't won an award. She made me stand awkwardly (fighting back tears) while everybody else smiled for the camera.

This woman even left me behind in a Fred Meyers in Forest Grove, Oregon. At night. And she didn't realize I was missing until I called her from the store. She also didn't bother getting on the bus to pick me up. She left the task of retrieving one thoroughly petrified high school freshman to the team co-captains.

So, yeah, you could say I'm not her biggest fan.

Something I made pretty clear when I wrote my autobiography. But even though Ashland is a small town, I hadn't crossed paths with "Ms. T" since Marni was released.

It's me! Sorta . . . I mean, it's a model with my name across her face!

Until today.

I was waiting outside my AP U.S. teacher's room when she appeared from her lair . . . I mean, classroom. Maybe I looked suspicious, since I was just listening to my music and walking in circles to pass the time.

Regardless, she asked if I needed something and I explained that I was waiting for Mr. H and I think that's when recognition kicked in.

She asked if she could have a minute to speak with me. The last time we had a private chat it began with the aforementioned string of insults and ended with me sobbing hysterically into the phone as I begged my mom to pick me up from school (I was too emotionally devastated to walk up my hill. That may sound overdramatic, but it's the truth).

So I wasn't exactly bubbling over with enthusiasm at the thought of another heart-to-heart, even eight years later.

But I couldn't help wondering what she was going to say. I knew that she had heard about my autobiography and I braced myself for a lecture. For the showdown of the century.

But instead she said that she heard about the book and that other people told her it was all lies . . . so she hadn't bothered to read it. And then she said: I truly hope, from the bottom of my heart, that someday you realize none of it happened.

Which is laughable really. I mean, for starters: somebody told her that what I wrote about a private conversation between the two of us was a lie?

Um, how would anybody know that?

Then there's that one other pesky little detail, what was it again? Oh right.

I told the truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth.

Then there was that other funny part. You know, where she says none of it actually happened. Really? Because I'm pretty sure it did. I know I've got a good imagination but I tend to have a very accurate memory. Just like I remember talking with other kids "Ms. T" has singled out to destroy over the years.

They all had similar experiences to mine, actually.

So . . . no. I don't think there is anything wrong with my memory.

But that didn't stop her from yammering on about how she wished me nothing but the best and how she really hoped, for my sake, that someday I would realize how wrong I was.

Here's the cool part: I didn't care.

All that power she had over me in high school was gone. It was as if she had snared me with an Imperious curse and it wasn't until now that I could see beyond it. She went from being, quite literally, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (or less formally, You-Know-Who) to being just a woman.

Even Voldemort can lose the scare factor!

Do I still think she's probably a horrible person who continues to emotionally abuse some of her students?

Yes.

Do I wish the school administration had taken action when I told them exactly what I had experienced?

Hell yes.

I know what you're thinking:

Am I right? Worst teacher ever! (Spoiler alert!) I know some people like him, but I just don't see how his desire to get it on with Harry's mom is in any way redeeming. Sorry.

But the funny part is that if it hadn't been for her, I never would have become an author. The whole reason I started writing in high school was because I needed a way to process all the toxic things she had said/done to me. I needed an outlet, a way to transform real life into something more bearable.

And here I am.

She no longer has power over me. She doesn't grade my work and she certainly can't get away with telling me that nobody likes me. I mean, theoretically, she could . . . but I would laugh in her face. I'm not that petrified young girl now. I don't have to answer to her. Frankly, the only person I still have to answer to is my own conscience, which does a pretty god job of steering me in the right direction.

So hopefully my inner demons will be as easy to vanquish as this particular outer demon.

I'd love to hear about your experiences with bullying, high school bloodsuckers, or power struggles. Actually, I'd love to hear whatever you want to share! So I hope you'll leave a comment below. I think hearing other people's struggles can really help people (especially those whom are currently struggling with a nasty hellbeast) feel less alone.

Sincerely,

Marni

Grandma is on the mend!

Hey everyone!

My grandma is going to be just fine.

*Huge sigh of relief*

Yesterday was spent sitting in the hospital cafeteria waiting to hear how she was doing. Oh yeah, and being barraged by my loving relatives. The phone lines were pretty quiet when we showed up at 4am but that was the lull before the storm. So I stared blearily at the double doors (without coffee), waiting for the doctor to appear. And I kept assuring everyone that yes, I'll let you know just as soon as I hear something!

So we all just waited . . .  and waited . . . oh, and did I mention that we waited?

But she came through the surgery like a champ and is now recovering nicely.

She rested well into the afternoon and now she's up and checking her email. Which leaves me on guard duty. I've been given the difficult task of trying to run interference between my grandma and her friends.

Let me explain: the most overwhelming eighty year olds on earth are her pals from the Los Angeles Bicycle Group. She needs some more time to heal before she's ready for the full onslaught of concern. So we've been talking to an anxious Marge every few hours.

It's sweet, really.

Anyhow, I need to go make sure my grandma rests. Thanks for all the kind messages of concern over the past few days! My entire family really appreciates all the support!

Sincerely,

Marni

Friday the 13th Better Not Mess With Me!

Hey everyone,

Lately, I've been pretty quiet on the Internet (well, for me) because three days ago my Grandma had a mini-stroke. This happened a day after my cousin was caught in a Houston flash flood and escaped from her car by climbing out the window.

According to my cousin, the water had receded a foot before she took this picture. That was after she helped rescue someone else from their car and then helped a third stranger push his car three blocks to safety. In heels.

On the plus side, I think this counts as superhero training. In the downside, her car was totaled.

Yeah, so that sucked.

Although I think she's mainly annoyed that she ruined her favorite pair of heels. My cousin is kind of a nut that way.

But back to the point.

So I was feeling very grateful that my cousin hadn't fallen down a manhole (which sounds funny, but really isn't. I'm so glad she made it out okay) when my grandma called from Palm Springs saying that she had a mini-stroke at 2am. of course, my grandma also decided she could go back to sleep and call us in the morning.

She's that kind of 83 year old woman.

So my brother instantly drove out to Palm Springs so that she could be treated by her doctors in LA while I sat uselessly around the house. Occasionally I cleaned. Mostly I berated myself for my lack of driving skills.

Then two days ago we got the results back from the doctor and instead of showing one mini-stroke like she expected, it showed two of them. The doctor then pointed out that her carotid artery was over 80% clogged and that she needed immediate surgery.

Did I mention that the power (and the Internet) went off that day? Because that happened too. So we were quite literally in the dark while we tried to figure out how quickly we could schedule my grandma's surgery.

Thank goodness my aunt flew out to LA immediately. I am so incredibly glad that she's taking charge of the situation. She's absolutely brilliant in times of crisis.

So this morning at 4:45am the three of us left for the hospital and now my grandma is officially in surgery.

Since I wasn't able to sleep until 2am, I'm more than a little tired. But the coffee is helping and I think we only have another two hours of waiting to go.

But Friday the 13th better not try to mess with my family. Not today.

My grandma having a great time in Africa a few weeks ago.

Think good thoughts everyone!

~Marni