C. Gene Wilkes's Blog, page 14

What I Learned from the Church in Asia

I recently made a trip to a country in southeast Asia where the church is required to register with the government. I went at the invitation of a registered denomination and under the auspices of the government. I had been to two other countries with similar situations in order to serve in those places, so I was comfortable accepting the call and fulfilling what I was asked to do.

Here are some things I observed about the church this outing.

The Church does not need the support of the government to survive.
Whether or not the government sanctions or persecutes the Church, it thrives. This country allows the church to exist under its mandates and management. No free church movement legally exists. When the government was directly hostile to the Church in the country, Christ followers still gathered, served, and risked persecution as they lived out their allegiance to Jesus. But the church is not a governmental agency. It is a viral movement of relationships borne on the Spirit, blowing where it will. No human agency can contain it.

Christians respect the laws imposed upon them.
I asked a brother in Christ how he felt about all the governmental rules that regulated the church's work and membership. He looked at me like a big brother telling me something I should already know and said, "The Bible tells us to honor the government, so, we do what they ask of us." "Oh," was my wise response. With no argument or litany of how hard things were, he simply reminded me of the instructions Paul gave the church while it was ruled by the Roman Empire. (Romans 13:1-7)

Christians accept the consequences of their actions under the government's laws.
Every day at lunch my nephew and I ate with some of local pastors. They were joyful and loved to banter about home, family, theology and their churches. One afternoon, someone mentioned that one of them had served two years in prison for his faith, and his brother who was at the table with us had been in prison too. You would have never known it by their joyful attitude and energetic expressions of faith. The consequences of following Jesus was just part of being the church.

The church works best in houses nestled in neighborhoods rather than in buildings set apart solely for the purpose of gathering the church. 

"House Church" took on a whole new meaning for me this trip. I had seen small groups of six to eight gather in a living room and ten to twenty in an apartment dedicated to gathering the church, but here pastors literally gave up a floor of their homes for the church to come together; or, in one case, built a new home with bedrooms off the meeting room. The pastor who was our host had four generations of over a dozen people living in six small rooms. There was a second floor to his house, but that was where we went on Sunday morning for worship, fellowship, and the hearing the Word. This house was also in the heart of a neighborhood which knew exactly what went on in the house. A seed of hope planted in the field of human relationships...

Leaders who serve the needs of those they lead are the best leaders.
Leadership in these churches is not a lucrative occupation. Actually, to be a pastor means you will give up a better paying job to live off the equivalent of $6-$20 USD/month. Yes, those numbers are correct. You serve because God has called you to be a servant of the people, not because you can make a career of it. I am humbled each time I serve with those who truly make sacrificial love their motive for ministry.


Jesus promised his followers that "the Gates of Hades will not prevail against" the movement he started. This viral movement, embodied in the Church, can not be stopped until Jesus returns to set up his rule permanently on the planet.

I am convinced after observing the Church in five oppressive countries that Jesus' promise is true, and we who have joined the Movement need not fear no matter the changing cultural and political climate that surrounds us. The Church of the Lord Jesus Christ will be triumphant.

Serving the Poor

My trip to Bolaven Farms outside Pakse, Lao, (www.bolavenfarms.com) opened my eyes again to the plight of the poor and the church's too-often inadequate response to them. Our history has been short-term adventures for the curious follower of Jesus or conscientious global citizen who wants to help somone-either in their name or the name of Jesus. These short blasts of energy and supplies help for a season but do not change the life-condition of those helped. What I like about the Bolaven Farms model is that the end game of all the work and investments is a sustainable way of life for the farmers. The vision is that in four years a farming family will own, work, and harvest their own coffee in order to support their family. This takes time, patience, and will not come easily. I appreciate Sam Say more each time I am with him because no matter his faults as a business owner or those who manage the farm he loves the farmers and truly wants them to have a new way of life both physically and spiritually. As you drive to the actual farm you see the huge processing plants and coffee groves of the mega companies, but when you learn of how they treat the farmers you soon discover they are all expendable. Profit is king--don't get onto them too hard. We have the same issues in our country. This reality makes it difficult for a model where the worker benefits as much as the owner to compete with the mega companies. It is an unfair system that require the best Christian people have to offer. This also means that those who support the farm must be in it for the long haul. A new coffee tree will not bear usable beans for three years. No one-time mercy trip will make the model work. It will take years of patient partnerships to change the life of the poorest of the poor. I am happy Legacy Church bought in early to support BF. We use their coffee exclusively on our campus and encourage our people to subscribe to the coffee personally and to encourage neighbors and businesses to use it also byes, it's a bit more expensive than those brands produced on the corporate farms, but this is about the farmer. Jesus called his followers to care for "the least of these," and this does not mean one-time exposure to their lives. It means investing in their lives an a model that can change their lives. Join me as we live incarnationally and intentionally as the people of God. I'm writing this in transit from the farm will in the Siem Reap airport in Cambodia. Please excuse the misspellings. I'll post pics when I get home.

When the Grid Goes Down-Reflections on 9/11 and Faith

If I have learned anything from the events of 9/11, I have learned of my dependence on what I call "the grid;" that nebulous interface of all things electronic and wireless that are the foundation of how I live life and get information.

I remember watching the planes fly into the World Trade Center towers while standing in my living room waiting to drive my youngest daughter to school. My oldest was a freshman in college, and it was not long before we were on the phone seeing if the other was okay and asking, "What now?" "What do we do now that what we have known is no more?"

As the events of the next several days, months, and years have unfolded, I have jokingly--and not so jokingly--asked, "What would happen if the grid went down?" What would life be like without the electricity and wireless connections we take for granted? What if something more catastrophic than the events of 9/11/2001 took place in our country?


More importantly, I have asked "What would your faith look like if the grid goes down?" 

You may ask, "What does the grid have to do with my faith?" I'll tell you.

In an increasingly technologically-driven world, how we get and process information has changed dramatically for those of us who have access to that technology. If we get our information--even reading the Scriptures on our smart phones--from electronic, wireless sources, what will we have if we find ourselves unplugged from all that information and data? We don't memorize or familiarize ourselves with anything now because we can instantly "look it up" as long as we are connected.

If the grid went down, what would our worship look like? (Ask those who were Legacy Church on June 26. They have an idea.) How much of the Scriptures would we know? Who would we trust to tell us the truth? How would we tell others about the Good News?

Here is one reality I can stand upon.

When Jesus came, he came as "the Word," according to John. His was an in-flesh Word, not some data wirelessly beamed across the universe. The Word "became flesh and made his dwelling among us," John witnessed.  

Word embodied in a person is God's way.  
The Word living in relationship among others is God's way.

The Word of God spoken in human relationship is God's way. This is why the Gospel still thrives in societies that are disconnected from or have no idea what is "the grid." Anything other than Word in relationship is only a cheap imitation of God's intentions.

Will I give up my iPhone? No. Will I stop blogging? No.

But I will ensure that as much of the grid-related things I do, I will spend as much time knowing and sharing the Word in relationship because when--not if--the grid goes down, I will hopefully still be an effective servant for the One who called me to join Him on this rescue mission.

What about you?

What I Learned While Climbing on Mt. Rainier

Here are some things I learned from my attempt to summit Mt. Rainier on August, 25, 2011.

First, Creation is still larger than its creatures. I live in a manufactured suburb where we sometimes live by the false assumption that we are in control of our environment and that we are bigger than the land upon which we live. Get out at the base of Mt. Rainier--after driving through the beautiful Mt. Rainier National Park--and you will soon realize how small you are. Get ON the mountain, and you are humbled by how small you really are and how big are the things of God. I am glad the Psalmists lived in Creation rather than in the urban sprawls we have made for ourselves.

Second, you are at your best in the footsteps of a guide. I know that some treasure the pioneering spirit of those who head out on uncharted paths, but most of us need a guide. The guides of RMI, Billy, Zeb, and Cody, trained, encouraged, and led us. They also made the trip safe and fun. Don't try something like this without the experience of someone who has gone before you.

Your spiritual journey follows the same rule. If you think you can face the wilderness of your spiritual trek alone, you will fall in the first crevasse you encounter. Get a mentor. Find a guide. Don't go it alone, or you will die.



Trail across Cowlitz Glacier


Another climber's view from D. Cleaver

Third, we all have our "freak out" points. I turned back after completing the climb on Disappointment Cleaver. We left Camp Muir about 1:00 a.m. (10,500), and it took us a little over two hours to make the top of D. Cleaver. (12,500)



The rock face of D. Cleaver
I was in shape to make the climb and summit, but climbing on loose rocks in crampons in the dark at a pretty good pace set my psyche on edge. Check out some of the pictures, and you'll get an idea of what I am talking about. I was the only one of 18 climbers to turn back at that point, so it is doable, and hundreds make it every year. I'm a flat-lander, and my first shot at mountaineering took me to the edge of my comfort zone.

One of my best friends posted on my facebook page, that I must have learned the old Indian proverb, "Wise is good...dead is bad." I was never in danger physically, but you have to have the mental edge to stay safe, and I had lost that edge. I prefer wisdom over death right now.

Fourth, sunrises are brightest when you are where you know you should be. I went on this climb to be with a friend and experience something I never had before. I had surely done that! So, when the sun rose behind Little Tahoma Peak that morning on my way down I basked in God's glorious beginnings of a new day and thanked God for the beauty and majesty of His Creation. I had gone as far as my mind let me, and I was headed down to all else God had called me to do. (Thanks to Cody Doolan, who got me down to Camp Muir safely.)


Finally, whether you finish the climb or not, rejoice with those who do. My friend and the one whose idea it was to make this climb, Jim Craig, made the summit. Here he is hoisting the colors of Legacy Cyclists, our cycling group launched out of Legacy Church. This climb was on his bucket list, and he climbed to the summit (14,410) without faltering. We trained together, traveled together, and climbed together. I am honored to have been part of his accomplishment.

From what I understand of Scripture, that is the stance we are to take with all those who climb the mountain of life. Life is not so much about what we do as it is what we share in what others do.

I'll try mountaineering again, but probably not on Mt. Rainier. I'm glad I gave it a try. I'm happier to be back home doing what God called me to do.

Why I am climbing Mt. Rainier

Mt. Rainier, WA
Next week about this time I plan to be climbing on the way to Camp Muir on Mt. Rainier. Some of you know of my addiction to adrenalin and adventure so you will not be surprised. 

Others of you may be asking, "Why would you want to do such a thing when you have a perfectly good life with good health and, if the Lord wills, a potentially wonderful future?" Good question, and here are some of my reasons.


I'm doing this with a friend. Jim Craig invited me when he announced climbing Mt. Rainier was on his "bucket list" and wondered who wanted to go along? He grew up in Seattle, and the mountain loomed daily on his horizon, and he finally decided he would climb it. Jim and I cycle with Legacy Cyclists, share life together in our LifeGroup, and call Legacy Church our spiritual family. Friendships often determine the paths you end up taking. (Don't ask me, "Well, if your friend asked you to jump of that mountain, would you do that?" Depends...)



Camp Muir
I'm doing this with a trusted company and guides. We have never done anything like this before so we hired guides with RMI, Rainier Mountaineering, Inc. They guide climbs daily, and will take time to train us to use equipment I have only worn in my living room.

I am doing this because God has put within me a longing to be connected to His Creation. We are God's creatures meant to live and dwell in creation. Part of getting outside on a mountain is a chance to breathe and stretch beyond the synthetic environments we have created for ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I love insulated walls and AC in the 100+ degree weather of North Texas, but even here I find ways to get on dirt and among trees to run where God created us to run: in His playground of creation.

Finally, it's simple: I love adventure! Why do you think I'm a pastor? Seriously. Can you think of a more adventurous journey than living among and leading a group of people to look something like Jesus where they live, work, and play? You can't avoid the hard stuff, and you can't take short cuts on the ascent. The weakest one determines the speed of the group, and the strong ones learn humility and to serve the weak. People quit when it gets to hard, and danger is around every corner. And no two day's are alike! It's more like a 1,000-foot ascent at 14,000 feet than a picnic in the park. Adventure motivates me as a pastor. I will attempt to summit Mt. Rainier for the same reason.

My parents sent me part of this Psalm as their prayer for me. I will claim it as my prayer for the climb:

If you say, "The LORD is my refuge,"
   and you make the Most High your dwelling,
no harm will overtake you,
   no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
   to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
   so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.(Psalm 91:9-12)

For daily web cams and weather information, you can go here.

I'll post from my phone to facebook along the way and retell the story here when I get back. Prayers appreciated!

Servant Leadership in Times of Crisis

Daily News
What is a leader to do when the bottom falls out? How is he or she to respond when people panic and look to their leader as the one who should know how to get them out of the mess or crisis.

I'm no expert on leading in a crisis, but I do have some personal experience as a pastor and what I observe from the life of Jesus, the ideal servant leader.

First, a servant leader reminds everyone that no matter the changing circumstances, the mission remains the same. For my family and those I serve as Legacy Church, our mission to help people trust Jesus as the church, at home, and in the world does not change no matter what goes on elsewhere. This stance allows the leader to be what Edwin Friedman called the "non-anxious presence." Knowing and sticking to the mission is the rudder and course in the storms of life.

Good leaders call those they lead back to the reason for the group in the first place. Jesus continually reminded his closest followers that although the religious leaders had turned up the heat on his kingdom movement, he was still headed to Jerusalem to complete what he had come to do: be the Suffering Servant Messiah. (See Mark 10:32-34)

Second, a servant leader acknowledges the reality and owns what is his or her part of the crisis. Leadership is not promising Disney World when you are standing in Haiti. People know when a leader is painting a picture of reality or not. Those who follow want to know that the leader is aware enough to see what they see and that he or she has the character to admit his or her mistakes.

Jesus painted pictures of his future kingdom in a land overrun with dictators and an occupying army, but they were nothing like the Greek's Elysium Fields. They were painted in the real scenes of growing crops, kings in battle, daily business, and selfish endeavors. Jesus even admitted that he came not to bring "peace, but a sword." (Matthew 10:34) He saw the reality of the people's plight ("tired and carrying a heavy load") and let them know the path to freedom would not be an easy one. He was honest about their situation and his plans to help them.

Third, a servant leader steps into the crisis and works with others to find a solution. Leaders who refuse to stand in the mess, roll up his or her sleeves, and enter the chaos of the situation lose all credibility to lead. And, the leader who offers solutions from an ivory tower will never have the strength of the organization to weather the storm. "The wise listen to advice..." (Prov. 12:15)

Jesus stepped into the crisis of a fallen creation and sinful people and gave his life up as the ultimate solution to that crisis. Jesus is the ideal servant leader because he gave his life on the cross to defeat human enemy #1, death and eternal separation from their Creator.

Few leaders today stay long enough to give their lives so those they lead may have life. They'd rather take the golden parachute and float safely to the next opportunity.

Crisis defines a leader. 

Crisis is the crucible of what a leader is made of, what his or her values are, and whether or not he or she should remain the leader after the crisis.

Performance in clear waters does not tell the crew what kind of pilot the captain is. Storms require skill and experience, not pleasure cruises in calm winds and seas.

We all need a servant leader like Jesus in the global crises we face these days.

Wonder if you are that kind of servant leader wherever you lead today?

The Deal With Daniel

We have returned to reading through the Bible this month at Legacy Church. We began this week by reading the story of Daniel, the exiled Israelite whom God used during his Babylonian captivity to reveal many things about the future. Daniel's prophecy has captured more attention in these uncertain days, but I have always been intrigued with his character.

Daniel was chosen from among his peers to serve in the king's court. We all like to be chosen, and in those days this was a big deal. Enemies of the state were to be groomed to be servants to the king. No one in his or her right mind would refuse the opportunity.

Daniel accepted the offer, but refused to be like everyone else. (Daniel 1) This is where the story gets good for me.

Daniel resisted the all-you-can-eat-and-drink buffet of the king and stuck to the diet he had known from childhood--a diet that honored his God and the traditions of his family's faith. That would be like telling the President of the United States you appreciate the food the White House chef prepared, but you'd stick with the food your mother cooked back home. Not the way to fit in, in my opinion.

I'm one who likes to fit in. In church world, it has been called being "relevant." We have been told that relevancy to the culture in our presentation, building, message, and programs will give us a hearing with those in the culture. I've tried all that, and the culture doesn't listen any more today than fifteen years ago.

When I think of Daniel's choice and the invitation to relevance, I recall Henri Nouwen's prophetic voice that one of the temptations of a Christian leader is to be relevant. The problem, he writes, is that relevance is driven by one's need for self-esteem and success. He wrote,

"The leader of the future will be the one who dares to claim his irrelevance in the contemporary world as a divine vocation that allows him or her to enter into a deep solidarity with the anguish underlying all the glitter of success and to bring the light of Jesus there." (In the Name of Jesus, 22) "Solidarity with the anguish," not relevance in the culture, is the calling of Christian leaders. We enter this anguish in order to "bring the light of Jesus" into the pain success brings to our lives.

How do we do this? Nouwen offers a lifestyle of contemplative prayer to know Jesus as the way we escape the lure of relevance.

"If there is any focus that the Christian leader of the future will need, it is the discipline of dwelling in the presence of the One who keeps asking us, 'Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?'" (28)  The deal with Daniel was that being a "son of Israel" was more important than being a servant of the king. 

I wonder what our lives would look like and where our leadership would lead us if being "children of God" (Rom. 8:15-17) was more important than being relevant in the world we live? Take some time to consider this today as you find yourself invited to be relevant where you work and live.

Four Keys to Climbing a Fourteener

I climbed my first 14,000-foot mountain peak this past weekend, San Luis Peak just outside Creede, CO (a "Class 1" walk up in difficulty talk) but the perfect first for me. It was a marvelous experience in every way, and upon reflection I see at least four things I know made it what it was. 

Preparation: You don't wake up on a Monday and decide on Saturday you will climb a 14er, or, any ultra-endurance experience. The group I made the climb with had been planning the trip for almost a year. My personal preparation is ongoing, but about three months out, I ramped up my stair-stepping, weight lifting, and running/riding to get both my lungs and legs ready. I was prepared when I made the ascent. That did not lessen the difficulty, but all that sweat and pain before the hike made it enjoyable, not just survivable. Not everyone in the group was as prepared. All but one made the ascent, but it was not fun for everyone. I'll let them tell their stories.

Persistence: Anything good in life requires persistence. From marriage to marathons, success means putting one foot in front of the other until you are at the finish line. It's not glamorous or giddy-fun all the time, (that's what movies and marketing tell you) but steady persistence gets you where you want to go. The photo to the left shows the last few hundred yards to the summit. It was tedious, painful, and came down to one step at a time, looking only at the rocks in front of  you. But look what we will see when we finish! Life is like that...

Partners: I am not a solo hiker. I don't think anyone should be. Partners not only encourage you, they protect you. The group I made the trip with are part of a group of men I have met with for over six years on Thursday mornings at a nearby Starbucks. These guys are more than weekend warriors. We share the tough, hard, seedy parts of our lives along with the joys and victories. This adventure to the mountains was a side trip on the journey of life we share together every week.

Faith: Faith is the foundation for anything significant in life. On a purely physical level, you have to trust people you have never met. Map makers, bloggers, trainers, and people who have made similar trips are your only source of information--until you have walked every step yourself. You have to trust those who have been there in order to make your trip. You have to trust friends you know will not leave you and who will find you if you get lost. Trusting yourself alone will end in disaster.

On a spiritual level, I trusted God for my safety--if I didn't do anything stupid--and that my choice to attempt this would somehow honor Him and allow me to know Him in deeper ways. God did all that and more. I made it safely up and back. I saw the panoramic beauty of His majesty (Psalm 8, 19, and 23 mean more now); and, I had hours of prayer and conversation in Creation to know His heart, those of my brothers in Christ, and my own. Like my friendships with these guys, my relationship with God deepened after spending time on His turf, not the artificial world I live in every day.

What's next? 1) See these guys on Thursday, and 2) summit Mt. Rainier in less that thirty days!

You can see more picture from some of the guys facebook pages, Jack Boychuck, Jim Craig, and Mark Smith.

How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

A staff member informed me the other day that a couple of ministers we knew had extra-marital affairs and were no longer serving in their churches. He wanted to know what I was doing to safeguard my marriage and my role as a spiritual leader. That conversation led me to reflect on what I have done to stay faithful to my best friend for over thirty-six years. (Most of what I wrote in my previous blog applies to this topic, too.)

In my book, An Angel in the Flame: A Tale of Two Saviors, the story of Samson with an eye to Jesus, our true Savior,  I write:

You can tell a man's character by two things: how he prays and how he manages his sex drive. How a man prays exposes his heart and to whom he bends his knee. How he manages his sexual urges exposes the depth of discipline in his life. Hypocrisy can mask both aspects of his life, and he can act out a persona many will accept as real. However, crisis and leisure are crucibles that reveal a person's true character. No Oscar-winning performance can hide a man's true identity in the heat of crisis or the calm of leisure. (87)

Samson, one of Israel's biblical "judges," prayed mostly about things he wanted for himself, and he managed his sex drive much like that of a rock star on tour. He failed to be the leader and man God chose him to be because he failed in these two areas of his life. His prayers in crisis were cries for God to give him stuff and to revenge his losses. His sexual activity in times of leisure were unharnessed pursuits of passion for foreign women. You know the story of Delilah, who betrayed him to his enemies through his lack of discipline and lust for her. (Judges 16)

Samson's failures teach me some things about how to keep my focus on my two most important relationships: God and Kim.

Prayer and similar spiritual disciplines like fasting, Scripture study, solitude, and community keep my heart connected to the One who called me to my relationship with Him and Kim. My prayers to God and with Kim expose my heart's intentions and focus of its attention.

I have found discipline of the heart produces discipline in every area of my life. Since my heart is "the well-spring of life" (Proverbs 4:23) and since from it comes all manner of evil in its fallen state, (Mark 7:20-23) my attention should be on my heart first, then my habits.

Let me say a quick word about living in community with other guys. My friend, Robert Sullivan, constantly reminds me that the way Satan picks guys off is by isolating them from the herd much like lions hunting in the Serengeti. Get separated from the herd of men living together as Christ followers, and you will get picked off. Nate Larkin, in his book Samson and the Pirate Monks, confessed his inability to remain faithful to his wife on his own:

"...but the climate of shame and secrecy in my religious environment forced me to battle the beast alone. On those terms the battle was unwinnable." (8)

The battle for your heart to remain true to your God and spouse is not a solo sport. Live openly and honestly with guys who care enough about you to invade your space with questions and truth to keep you the man God desires you to be.

There's more to this, as you know, but I'll stop now and see what you are thinking.  My prayer is that you and I will remain in love with the God who sacrificed His Son for us and our spouses who trust us day in and day out to be true to the vows we made to them on our wedding day.

How To Stay Married 36 Years

Thirty-six years ago today I married my best friend. It has been a wonderland adventure I could never have dreamed up on my on.

We are serving together in Pachuca, Mexico, today with friends from Legacy Church, and I can't think of a better anniversary celebration because it represents so much of our lives together.

Here are some things I've learned over these years that may help you out, too.

1. Marry your best friend. This seems like a trite phrase, but Kim was my friend before she was my wife. This friendship was deepened by marriage vows and is a foundation upon which we build our lives. When your spouse is your best friend, shared interests, laughter, and a desire to be together grows deeper each year. Romance follows the fun. You don't have to manufacture romance if you are doing life together. Also, accountability is easy with a friend. It's simply letting someone you care for to have the confidence you go where you say you are going and  you are with whom you say you will be. If you didn't marry your best friend, start acting like friends. You enjoyed being together when you got married.

2. Worship and serve together.  Kim and I had committed our lives to following Jesus before we committed ourselves to each other. Jesus is her Leader and Rescuer, and He is mine. Together our devotion to God through worship and service to his call on our lives individually and as a couple knits our hearts and lives together. My ministry in the local church is her ministry, and her "ministry" in the public school is mine. Shared worship also gives us the courage to face whatever life may bring because you learn to trust God in the middle of it all.

3. Allow your spouse to be a person. One of my first attractions to Kim was that she was her own person. She had opinions, interests, talents, friends, and a purpose in life. When we married, she kept those things, and she allowed me to have mine. The key to a lasting marriage is two people who are interdependent; neither independent of the other nor dependent on the other. God created a wonderfully, unique person in Kim. Her uniqueness is a mirror that exposes my sin but shows my strengths. God has used her to make me more godly that I would be on my own, and she has motivated me to do more than I would do on my own. Gary Thomas in Sacred Marriage may be on to something.

4. Allow your spouse to have friends and interests outside your marriage. Kim and I have couples who are our friends, but many of those came from our pursuit of interests or from our ministries outside our marriage. I cycle and run, Kim does not; but, many of those I have met through those pursuits are our shared friends now. Kim is immersed in her calling as a teacher. Her involvement in the lives of her students by attending sporting events, plays, and concerts outside the classroom have led to friendships we now share together. We both also have friends who the other does not spend that much time with. We know all about them, but we don't spend the same amount of time with them. I learn much about Kim by the friends she has other than me.

5. Laugh, Pray, Love. Life is brutal. A sense of humor, which comes from knowing the ultimate punch line of life (God reigns.), is a necessity to make it through the gauntlet. Laughing about our mistakes and faults is the best jokes we can tell! Praying together knits your hearts together and gives you God's perspective on everything. And, love as modeled by Jesus and described in the Bible (1 Cor. 13:4-8, in particular) is how we are to serve one another and others.


6. Family is built on your marriage. Children happen in most marriages. They can become the glue that holds a marriage together, or, they can become the new devotion of one or both spouses. God blessed us with the two most wonderful daughters on the planet (and now the two most wonderful grandchildren), but I always told them--especially when there was conflict between them and their mother--"I loved your mother first, and after you grow up and have your family, I will still be with her." That confession said that our family was built upon and remain because of our marriage, not because children came along. My girls know they are loved partly because they know I love my wife.

I could write more, (especially about my wonderful daughters) but these are my thoughts this morning. I am the most blessed man by God because he led me to my best friend who became my wife. I pray that can be your confession today, too.