Norb Vonnegut's Blog, page 7

Five Years After Bernie

The Federal Bureau of Investigation arrested Bernie Madoff on Dec. 11, 2008. His guilty plea and 150-year prison sentence were almost non-events, at least compared with the finger-pointing, lawsuits and … Continue Reading →

Five Years of Bernie

Bernie Madoff confessed his Ponzi scheme on December 10, 2008. This Thursday, November 21, 2013, the Wall Street Journal is running my column, Five Years of Bernie. Mark your calendars. … Continue Reading →

How To Fire Your Client

"Clients are always right." I wish. Sometimes, it pays to send them packing. It's a question of when to do it and how. "You're fired," may work on reality television, … Continue Reading →

The Abduction of Europa

Because End Game is about the recovery of six priceless paintings stolen during October of 1986 (while the Red Sox were busy losing the World Series), I'm obsessed with all things … Continue Reading →

END GAME (coming soon)

New York City - I don't miss it. Not one bit. The streets reek of food carts and gas fumes, and the smell of garbage is ferocious during the summer when the city turns into a concrete sauna. Outside my former office at Gulag Sachs, if you tilted your head at just the right angle and paid careful attention, you'd get a strong whiff of anxiety from desperate people who couldn't wait to get the hell off the hamster wheel.

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Wealth Management’s New Dinosaurs

"Fee-sucking, evergreen income." That's how Bill Michaels describes our industry's reliance on asset allocation. The problem, he says, is that it doesn't make money for clients. But here's what "diwussification"--his play on diversification--does for advisers: It minimizes risk, locks in annuity revenues, and frees them "to go play golf."

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A Big Shout-out to my Friends in Pampa, Texas

Recently, my good friends, Kathryn and Wesley and Green, forwarded this photo from Pampa, Texas. They're turning a wing in their home into a bed and breakfast. And I can't wait to go back!

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Worst Helicopter Parent

Note to the parent in this story: If you find this blog, I recommend you abandon your legal practice, travel to Hollywood, and write the threats that inevitably find their … Continue Reading →

Bad Booger Man

Barking and spraying drool everywhere. Teeth like tusks. Remember, Murphy’s about one-seventy but looks twice as heavy with all the hair. Miss West Coast jumps up on the toilet seat, dancing around in the altogether. Eliot is yelling in the shower. And I’m standing there with red-eye stockings in my hand.”

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The Pell College Heist

An excerpt from my next book (in progress). Please comment/edit. Thanks, readers. Memories of the Channing heist had faded. There were few clues. No trace of the paintings. No insurance … Continue Reading →