Janice Hardy's Blog, page 60

Building YOUR Indie Author Brand

By Ray Flynt

Part of The Indie Author Series

JH: Once you decide to go indie, the next step is to ensure you have a strong author brand. Ray Flynt is back this month with tips on how to build your indie author brand.

Forty-six years ago I moved to an unfamiliar community to develop a new program for my employer. Eventually, I’d be hiring staff, but to begin with it was just me. I only had two contacts in that new community. One was a minister who had once preached at my home church. He hardly knew me, but when I showed up to say “Hi,” he made me feel welcome.

During a tour of his church, we stopped by the choir room. He asked if I sang, and when I replied that I did, he invited me to come for choir rehearsal the following night. I showed up as the proverbial stranger in a strange land. The following Sunday, I joined with forty-five others to sing in the choir loft. I began to make friends.

Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

When Not to Kill Your Darlings: Exposing Another Awful Writing “Rule”

By Dario Ciriello

Part of the How They Do It Series

JH: Kill Your Darlings has been a writing-advice staple forever, but there are times when we shouldn't follow that advice. Dario Ciriello is back this month with his thoughts on the topic.

Recently, In the course of beta reading a long Epic Fantasy novel by a very skilled and highly-acclaimed author friend, I came across a single major issue: a subplot and its characters, fascinating and well-written and full of wonder and wisdom, had grown so large it threatened to hijack and overshadow the core narrative.

I could see three main ways to fix this. These were: (i) pare that entire subplot down by at least a third; (ii) break it up further still with interspersed scenes happening elsewhere; (iii) reassure the reader, using brazen foreshadowing, and more than once, that all the events taking place in this subplot were relevant to and would tie back into the core plot.
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

Some Dos and Don'ts for Pitches and Blurbs

By Suzanne Purvis 

Part of The Writer’s Life Series 

JH: Pitching is part of being a writer, so it's a skill we should all develop early. Suzanne Purvis is here today to share tips on what to do--and not to do--in our novel pitches and blurbs.

Suzanne Purvis is a transplanted Canadian living in the Deep South, where she traded “eh” for “y’all.” An author of long, short, flash fiction, and poetry for both children and adults, she has won several awards including those sponsored by the University of Toronto, RWA, Bethlehem Writers, and Women Who Write. You can find her work in print anthologies, magazines, ezines, and ebooks.

She leads workshops at Lawson Writer’s Academy and for Romance Writers of America, including her popular Sizzling, Scintillating Synopsis, Potent Pitches and Brilliant Blurbs, Revision Boot Camp and now she’s honored to be teaching Margie Lawson’s Deep Editing, Rhetorical Devices and More class.

Her next class, Potent Pitches and Brilliant Blurbs, begins November 1st.

Website | Facebook | Goodreads
Take it away Suzanne…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

You Should Quit Writing: Coexisting with the Naysayers in Your Head

By Sylvia Whitman, @SylviaWhitman

Part of The Writer's Life Series

JH: I think most writers struggle with self-doubt and fear at some point in their careers. It's a tough job in a tough industry. Sylvia Whitman takes the podium today to share some thoughts and exercises on calming those fears and getting back to our days.
Sylvia Whitman lives in Sarasota, Florida, and teaches writing as a visiting instructor at Ringling College of Art and Design. She has published hundreds of articles for adults and children, a dozen books for young readers, and a handful of short stories in magazines ranging from Redbook to The Florida Review. Her books include  Under the Ramadan Moon  (Albert Whitman) and aYA novel The Milk of Birds (Atheneum). A finalist for the 2014 Amelia Walden Award, The Milk of Birds also earned a spot on the Amelia Bloomer Project List, the International Reading Association’s Notable Books for a Global Society and Bank Street College’s Best Children’s Books of Year.
Website | Twitter | Goodreads

Take it away Sylvia...
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

Ten Things to Remember if You Want to Be a Published Author

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Publishing is a crazy business, with both joys and sorrows at all levels. If you want to survive, it's important to keep things in perspective.

With computers, the physical exercise of writing has never been easier. You open a file, start typing and wham! You’re writing. Literally anyone can write and publish a book these days.

This can shine an unrealistic light on the whole process, and make writing a compelling novel look easy. Anyone who’s ever struggled over a stalled plot line or a character who didn't work can tell you writing isn't easy at all--or at least, writing a good novel isn't.

It takes work, craft, skill, and imagination. Most of all, it takes dedication and perseverance, and a faith that you will make it one day.

Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

The Science of Pacing: 3 Tips on Pacing Your Novel

By Rosaria Munda, @rosariamunda

Part of the How They Do It Series

JH: The right pace can mean the difference between a book that soars and one that falls flat. Rosaria Munda visits the lecture hall today to share her tips on the science behind finding the perfect pace for your novel.

Rosaria Munda grew up in rural North Carolina, where she climbed trees, read Harry Potter fanfiction, and taught herself Latin. She studied political theory at Princeton and lives in Chicago with her husband and cat. Her debut novel, Fireborne (Putnam, 2019) has received four starred reviews.

Website | Twitter | Goodreads | Instagram

Take it away Rosaria…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

How to Hook Your Reader in Every Scene

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Everyone knows how important the first line of a novel is, but in truth, every opening line in the book matters.

As the saying goes, “Well begun is half done.” This is particularly true in writing, where we often get a single line to hook our readers and convince them to give our novels a try.

But it’s also true for the rest of the novel—not just that critical opening sentence.

Tension Starts with a Scene’s Opening Line
Every time we break a scene or end a chapter, that’s a chance for us to lose our reader’s attention. If we end at a low-tension moment, the odds of them putting the book down go way up.

Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

Sunday Writing Tip: Remove Unnecessary Dialogue from Your Scenes

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Each week, I’ll offer a tip you can take and apply to your manuscript to help improve it. They’ll be easy to do and shouldn’t take long, so they’ll be tips you can do without taking up your Sunday. Though I do reserve the right to offer a good tip now and then that will take longer—but only because it would apply to the entire manuscript.

This week, look at the dialogue in your scenes and remove what’s not needed.
There’s often a lot of empty dialogue in scenes, especially the beginnings of them. Characters greet each other and make small talk before they get to the meat of their conversations. Most of the time, that small talk weakens the scene and hurts the pacing.

It’s also common to find characters saying too much in a scene and giving away all the mystery and/or tension. They’re too open about their feelings, or too self-aware about how they feel. They might also answer questions just because the plot needs them to, when being true to themselves and staying quiet makes for a stronger story.

As they say, less is more, and that’s particularly true with dialogue.

Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

Real Life Diagnostics: Finding the Right Problem for Your Opening Scene

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: None

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are open.

This week’s question:

Is this opening working?

Market/Genre: Romance

On to the diagnosis…

Original Text:

After ten hours on my feet, I would have loved to slip off my flip-flops, but I wasn’t willing to step on a spilled drink, or worse, a dropped hot dog smothered in mustard. Hosting an annual barbeque party outside our surf shop was a longheld family tradition and the November social event in our small California beach town. This close-knit crowd stayed the entire day, hanging out in the water, playing on the sand, and shopping in the store. Closing time hadn't come too soon.

Layne locked the door behind the last customer and we both released a loud yippee. She breezed behind the counter and joined me at the register. “That was our final sale of the month and the year. How’d we do, Sis?”

“Let’s hope running out of hot dogs equals big numbers.” I pressed the register buttons for the final tally of the day and hoped my sigh of relief was convincing. “Whoopee. We’ll be able to pay the overhead for several months and restock the inventory.” But not my salary.

She pulled off her SurfLover cap and fluffed up her hair. Even though we were both sun-kissed blondes, her waves were so much prettier than my straight, limp locks.

Opening the drawer under the register, she scooped out a bundle of envelopes. “Time to go through this stack."

"I'll never understand why you wait until the end of every month."

"What's the hurry?" She started leafing through the pile, tossing half the letters in the trash. “We bring in the cash, but the bills keep coming.”

“That’s how it works.”

“I think we deserve to go out for a beer and save the cleaning for morning. Better yet, let's slip into our wetsuits and hit the water There's no wind. Six-foot swell. It'll be glassy and perfect.”

My heart lifted just thinking about surfing. The rolling waves and rhythm of the sea still had a hold on me, but I just couldn't bring myself to risk the ocean's brutality again. “You’re never going to give up trying to get me back out there, are you?”

“You used to love it, Nik. I know you miss it.”

“Everyday. But you know I'd freak if I got sucked into another double-up.” A shudder overtook me as I remembered the two waves meeting and spinning me inside the ultra-hollow, fighting the powerful energy. I'd clung to a piece of foam, unable to breathe and fought for my life. “I won’t make it out of a beast like that next time.”

My Thoughts in Blue:

After ten hours on my feet, I would have loved to slip off my flip-flops, but I wasn’t willing to step on a spilled drink, or worse, a dropped hot dog smothered in mustard. Hosting an annual barbeque party outside our surf shop was a [longheld family tradition] I’m unsure whose family this is. I thought hers at first, but I don’t think that’s true and the November social event in our small California beach town. This close-knit crowd stayed the entire day, hanging out in the water, playing on the sand, and shopping in the store. [Closing time hadn't come too soon.] I’m a little confused about this opening. The focus is on the barbeque, yet the narrator is actually in the surf shop, correct? Why aren’t they at this social event of the season?

Layne locked the door behind the last customer and we both released a loud yippee. She breezed behind the counter and joined me at the register. [“That was our final sale of the month and the year.] feels a bit infodumpy and not like natural dialogue How’d we do, Sis?”

“Let’s hope [running out of hot dogs] who ran out? Them? equals big numbers.” I pressed the register buttons for the final tally of the day and [hoped my sigh of relief was convincing.] Perhaps a little more that they’re worried about finances? “Whoopee. We’ll be able to pay the overhead for several months and restock the inventory.” But not my salary.

[She] Feels like you need the name here since you haven’t referred to her for a full paragraph pulled off her SurfLover cap and fluffed up her hair. Even though we were both sun-kissed blondes, her waves were so much prettier than my straight, limp locks.

Opening the drawer under the register, she scooped out a bundle of envelopes. “Time to go through [this stack."] Of what?

"I'll never understand why you wait until the end of every month." I wanted some internalization from her here to understand how she feels about this, and not getting paid, and the state of her and the shop

"What's the hurry?" She started leafing through the pile, tossing half the [letters in the trash.] So she doesn’t look at any of the mail for a month, or she’s tossing out bills? “We bring in the cash, but the bills keep coming.”

“That’s how it works.”

“I think we deserve to go out for a beer and save the cleaning for morning. Better yet, let's slip into our wetsuits and hit the water There's no wind. Six-foot swell. It'll be glassy and perfect.” Since they were on their feet for ten hours, I assume it’s late, so wouldn’t it be dark? Also, if Layne is so clear on what the waves are doing, it seems like that would be her focus and not the beer

My [heart lifted] she says this, yet she’s too scared to going into the water, so I don’t think this would be her first reaction. More likely a stab of fear just thinking about surfing. The rolling waves and rhythm of the sea still had a hold on me, but I just couldn't bring myself to risk the ocean's brutality again. [“You’re never going to give up trying to get me back out there, are you?”] Feels a bit too on the nose about her internal issues

“You used to love it, Nik. I know you miss it.”

“Everyday. [But you know I'd freak if I got sucked into another double-up.”] This also feels too “summed up” about her issue A shudder overtook me as I remembered the two waves meeting and spinning me inside the ultra-hollow, fighting the powerful energy. I'd clung to a piece of foam, unable to breathe and fought for my life. “I won’t make it out of a beast like that next time.” If this is how she feels, her reaction to a suggestion to go surfer would have been much stronger and more like this

The Question:

1. Is this opening working?

Not yet (readers chime in). There’s not quite enough to show me what the problem is or why I should care about these sisters and their surf shop. There are issues, but the lack of narrative focus makes it hard for me to know what I’m supposed to pay attention to and care about.

The story is a romance, but there’s nothing that suggest romance is on the horizon, or that Nik wants it. That’s not necessarily bad, as there’s time to get to that, but so many other potential problems are slipped in that it seems like this story is about other things.

(Here's more on And Pretty Words All in a Row: Tightening Your Narrative Focus)

At first, it starts with the barbeque and Nik being tired, and quick notes about a longheld family tradition, so I assume the narrator is part of the family and it’s their party. But by the end, she’s in the store and I don’t know how the store relates to the barbeque or whose family is having the party. I don’t think the party relates to the shop or the sisters, aside from it being a source of revenue. So I wonder why this is the first thing I see as a reader. Why do I need to know about this barbeque and Nik’s tired feet before anything else?

The focus then shifts to the sales, and I can see they didn’t make enough this month to pay everything, especially Nik’s salary. So I think maybe this is about a store with money troubles trying to survive, and that’s how the love interest will appear. But that’s not really embraced or discussed, and Layne doesn’t seem concerned at all and just wants to have fun.

Which could indicate one reason why the store has issues, but since Nik never thinks anything along those lines, it doesn’t feel like the problem of the scene or the story, even though it’s mentioned.

Then it’s shifts again to surfing and Nik’s backstory about nearly drowning, which makes me wonder if this is about her overcoming her fear to get back into the water, and the love interest will come from there. This seems like the best spot for it, as surfing again is clearly an internal issue and something to build a character arc around. Meeting a guy who gets Nik back into the water and in love is a solid romance + character arc.

But if so, how does that connect to the store or their financial troubles? Or the barbeque? 
Although there are several story questions here with potential, none of them stand out as the conflict of the scene and the problem driving the story so far. It feels like setup, not story, and I don’t think I’ve gotten to the real meat of the tale yet. I suspect it’s the surfing and the surfer boy who will steal her heart, but that’s just a guess.
(Here's more on Are You Asking the Right Story Questions?)

I’m also not connecting with Nik as a narrator, because I don’t “feel” her in the story. She’s there, but I’m not really in her head or hearing her thoughts, and I don’t know how she feels about things. She also has conflicting emotional reactions to her accident. Id imagine if you almost died surfing and were too scared to go back into the water, your heart probably wouldn’t lift thinking about it.
(Here's more on The Triangle of Likability: How to Make Your Characters Come Alive)

I get some emotion from her about nearly drowning, but it doesn’t truly feel relevant to the scene, even though Layne wants her to go surfing. It’s more like a way to slip in backstory than something driving the story forward. Nik shudders, but that’s all, even though her words describe something far more horrific and obviously life-changing if she’s stopped doing something she loves. 
(Here's more on What “Setup” in a Novel Actually Means)

I suspect this is starting in the wrong place, and the barbeque, store, and general beach setting are merely setup before the main story starts. I’d suggest looking farther into the story and finding a scene or moment where the conflict starts.

Or, you might rethink this general opening and finding the conflict here to play with. Maybe Nik is cleaning up while her sister goes surfing, and not only does she feel annoyed that she does all the work she her sister plays (if that fits of course), but she’s conflicted over wanting to hit the waves and her fear of doing so.
(Here's more on The Line Forms Where? Knowing Where to Start Your Novel)

Since this is a romance, I’ll also leave you with this question: What problem or situation is going to force the two love interests to work together or interact? Odds are whatever this is, is right about where your opening is. Whatever gets Nik and the love interest to have to interact is probably the issue that will launch the story. If it’s not that, it’s likely right before that.
(Here's more on Why Conflict Is so Hard to Create in Romance)

Overall, I think this is still searching for the right opening scene, though it looks like there are several issues in the story itself to provide conflict around the romance. I don’t think it’ll be too hard to find the right problem to start this story with.

Thanks to our brave volunteer for submitting this for me to play with. I hope they–and others–find it helpful. I don’t do a full critique on these, (just as it pertains to the questions) and I encourage you to comment and make suggestions of your own. Just remember that these pieces are works in progress (many by new writers), not polished drafts, so be nice and offer constructive feedback.
About the Critiquer

Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. The Shifter, was chosen for the 2014 list of "Ten Books All Young Georgians Should Read" from the Georgia Center for the Book. It was also shortlisted for the Waterstones Children's Book Prize (2011), and The Truman Award (2011). She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy.

She's the founder of Fiction University and has written multiple books on writing, including Understanding Show, Don't Tell (And Really Getting It), Plotting Your Novel: Ideas and Structure, and the Revising Your Novel: First Draft to Finished Draft series. Website | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iTunes | Indie BoundWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

The Best Advice on Plotting I've Ever Heard: Two Tips That Make Plotting Your Novel Way Easier

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

A good story is more than a series of things that happen. It's all about the cause and effect.

Way back in 2012, I read a few pieces of plotting advice that are just as good today as they were then. They're nothing new, nothing ground-breaking, and things countless writers have said before (including me), but the way they're said is sheer genius. They're probably the most applicable and easiest plotting tips I've ever heard.

The advice refers to full scenes, but I quickly realized it was just as effective on diagnosing the action in an individual scene as well as the big picture of the novel's plot. It's an incredibly useful tool for pinpointing problems in a scene you know has issues, but can't figure out what they are.

Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com