Judy Nickles's Blog, page 3

Putting on the Brakes

For most of my...er...um...somewhat advanced years, I lived life at break-neck speed, racing from this activity to that one, never slowing down long enough to smell the roses. From sunrise to sunset (and well beyond), I lived life at a frantic pace. Get up, get the kids fed and off to school, go to work, come home, fix dinner, do laundry, supervise homework, baths, bedtime, call parents (if not drive over to visit), pay bills, make lists, fall into bed...and start all over again when the alarm went off the next morning. On Saturdays it wasn't unusual to have two soccer games at two different locations to which I must somehow ferry two boys.

Even after I  had an empty nest, I still had responsibilities to parents. When I moved away to take a new job, many Friday afternoons would find me starting the drive 265 miles to my hometown. The list making continued. After my parents became terminally ill and were in a nursing home, a list of 40-50 items to take care of in just under 36 hours was the norm.

Then one day I was alone and retired and...I will never hurry again, I vowed. And for the most part, I've kept that promise to myself. Standing in a long line at the store, I remind myself I have no reason to hurry home. Caught in traffic, I remember my destination won't disappear. When I travel, I prefer to travel alone on my schedule with my carefully-planned itinerary which is not set in stone.

Returning from a lovely, unhurried yet full four days in Charleston SC on Friday night, I vacillated between driving home on a busy interstate, then on dark windy roads, or getting a hotel room for the night. Yes, the latter cost money, but so would car repairs, hospital bills, etc. I got the room. The next morning after a free continental breakfast, I drove home at an unhurried pace, stopped for gas--and still made it to the post office to pick up accumulated mail before it closed at noon.

Home again, I took one suitcase and one large purse out of the car, unpacked the suitcase in the utility room and started a load of laundry, then sat down to read the 'vacation-pack' of newspapers delivered that morning. Finally, I hopped back into the car and drove to Sonic for "Happy Hour" (diet vanilla Coke) and sat there for an hour reading on my Kindle.

My life. My pace. My resolve to keep those brakes ON.

I need...

It is cold. I do not like all this cold weather. I am ready for it to go away. If you are sending it my way, I will find you. Keep it for yourself.

Ideally, cold weather like this should equal long productive days of writing, but it hasn't worked out that way. I've had many interruptions: sick grandchild to keep, haircut to get, tax information to organize for accountant, new storm door installation, check and adjustments on gas logs in fireplace, promotional package to organize and send.

I need to edit. I need to write. I need...I need...

These busy days have set me thinking about how I worked full time and wrote, too. Of course, writing was just a hobby in those days, but I still did  a lot of it. Now I'm retired, so there should be double the time. Not.

Perhaps the problem lies in not making good use of the time I have. I think I was better at that when I worked. Now it's too distracting to be at home all day, jumping up to do laundry, clean a cabinet, curl up with the Kindle, cook a meal, talk on the phone with someone else who's retired, chat on Skype, retrieving the small person from school two afternoons a week, visiting the public library and not on a Saturday...it's a vicious circle, I think.

The writing retreat was productive, but I can't live on retreat. And, I'm taking off for Charleston SC this month. Not to write, not to research, but just because I want to. At least I'm not heading to Africa on safari like a friend of mine!

Discipline, that's what I need. Anybody have any to spare?

Here's the deal...

Yesterday I posted the following on Facebook:

Okay, here's the deal: I've just read two very good books. I mean, they are really, really good...clever plots, well-developed characters, thoroughly engrossing...and based on that, they need 5-star reviews BUT...how shall I put this delicately? I'm reading along when all of a sudden the authors put the brakes on and seem to be thinking, "Oops, I'd better stop and put in a steamy (and that's mild!) love scene here." Now, the scene has nothing to do with the well-paced mystery plot...absolutely nothing. Do the authors think I'll stop reading if this sort of thing is missing? I just do some fast moves with the old stylus until I get back to the action, and I don't mean the kind of action I just mentioned. And I'll be dirty-darned if I'm going to review/recommend them just because! Plus, I won't buy those authors' books again, though it won't be the first time I've been burned...or the last.

I don't really expect any snarky comments for the simple reason that it would "show up" the person posting--so maybe I'll just get unfriended. That's all right, too, because I've done some housecleaning myself to keep from having to look at half-nude men and read some really nasty stuff. 

 So here's the REAL deal:

(1) Animals mate. (Yes, some mate for life.)
(2) Characters in books have sex at the drop of a hat. Often, they move on to another partner before book's end. 
(3) Lust does NOT equal love.
(4) A physical relationship is only one wonderful expression of love.
(5) Could the high rate of out-of-wedlock births and/or abortions be related to how our young people see/read the "glamor" of "if it feels good, do it" without being taught the consequences?

I can hear some people saying, "Oh, get a life!" I have a good one, thank you, and yes, I love romance. Real romance. Committment--that old-fashioned 'til death-do-us-part kind. Loving and cherishing and putting the other person's well-being first. Tenderness, caring, sharing...the kind that only grows stronger as time passes and young bodies (sensationalized and exploited in so many books) grow old. Who said, "Grow old along with me...the best is yet to be..."?

Ah, well, I'll keep looking for books I can read ALL of without skipping the "hot" parts. And I'll keep spinning my little tales of real love...because it's out there.

Not to decide is to decide...

I came home from my mini-retreat SO stoked! 20+K on the re-write of Book #1 in the Dreamland Series AND Book #1 of The Kate Chronicles edited and ready to go up on Amazon. To date, I've not written another single word on the former NOR put up the latter. WHY?

Well, once again, real life reared its inconvenient head. I've spent the past week and a half playing catch-up. But--one can't live on retreat, so what to do?

Mainly, I'm debating with myself about whether to:

(1) Get the other two books of The Kate Chronicles ready to go up at 10-day intervals
(2) Put up a stand-alone novel

The question is: Which of the above choices will catch the readers' eyes? Have I boxed myself into  a corner with the successful Penelope Pembroke Cozy Mystery Series ? Will readers be disappointed that The Kate Chronicles isn't remotely like the Penelope series? Would a stand-alone novel incorporating minimal romance but lots of suspense be a better tool to keep the momentum going?

See me pulling my hair, gnashing my teeth, weeping and wailing as I try to decide.

Someone once said, "Not to decide is to decide."

Penelope is still selling well--almost 500 books in January alone. But the "rule" is to follow up quickly, and though I ignore many rules of writing, I don't think this is one which should be shoved aside.

What to do? Anyone out there have any ideas?

Sound the retreat!

I'm getting away this week--quite literally! The question arises, "Why would you need to 'get away' when you live alone?" I just do. I need to be where I can focus on writing-related things--not think of two dozen ways to spend time tidying up a closet or cupboard or running to Walmart or prowling around town! This is a working 'vacation'!!

After looking for quite some time for a cozy cabin, I stumbled on the Living Water Retreat and am booked into their Love cabin. Due to bitter cold weather followed by ice and rain, I haven't gotten everything done here I intended, but you know what? The recycling will be here when I get back. Ditto the few Christmas decorations left to be put away. (Hey, they're down anyway!) Ditto the bins to go through to make decisions on what to keep/what to dispose of. At least the inside 'spring cleaning in winter' is done!

I'm about to tackle the list of things to pack for these lovely five days. Sweats and flannel nighties go into the suitcase first! I'm not budging from the cabin except for a walk along the river or to sit on the porch if the weather cooperates. I've done some baking and gathered some easy packaged meals. I don't have a set-in-stone agenda, but I know what I need to accomplish while I'm there.

So--sound the retreat! I'm outta here!

Sometimes you just gotta say it...

Someone posted this on Facebook, and I shared it. I can't get it out of my mind, because there is so much in my day-to-day life which gets between God and me. I don't mean for it to--I don't choose those things--but it happens.

For example, I don't have television service because there is so much I don't need to/won't watch: the language, the violence, the political ads directly opposed to my Christian faith. I don't miss it because I go to the library and check out documentaries and oldies but goodies where there was no foul language and where fade to black was more titillating than all the graphic scenes so prevalent today. I checked out a movie yesterday.This movie was 'newer', and I'd seen it before and remembered it being a sweet/funny story--but as I watched again, my ears were assaulted by four-letter words I'd forgotten were there and also a 'situation'. I'm ashamed to admit I continued to watch, conveniently overlooking what I should not have dismissed. I'll try not to make the same mistake again.

Over a year ago, I checked out of Facebook, then later set up a new page for the specific purpose of promoting the Penelope books. I don't spend a lot of time there, and I've found and shared lots of good things. I've also cringed at some of the pictures and posts which hit me in the face as I open up and scroll through. Reluctantly, I've unfriended folks who continue to post pictures of near-naked men/women and punctuate their posts with obscenities. It just doesn't get my day off to a good start.

Please don't misunderstand--the human body is a beautiful thing. I've been privileged to walk through European art galleries and stand in awe before sculptures and paintings by the 'old masters'. But it's a sacred thing, too, and it hurts to see something God created put 'out there' for other purposes. I don't buy/read books from authors (even if I know and like them personally) where the focus is on purely sexual attraction and graphically written.

So I expect I'll be doing more unfriending in 2014, not because I feel exclusive or better than anyone but because...if it stops you from getting closer to God, it needs to go.

Call it anything you like, but the truth is, our world--our country--is in trouble. Oh, sure, it's been in trouble before, but it got better because people stood up for what was right even when it wasn't popular/politically correct to stand up and speak out.  There's not enough of that going on these days. Call it old age--but as one gets older, one realizes that the opportunity to stand up is fading. I've stood up and spoken out before--and I've stood down and kept quiet, too, for no good reason. I'm proud of the former and ashamed of the latter.

This is my 70th year. Who knows if it's my last--or if 20 more loom ahead? I don't want to waste a single day of whatever is given.

I heard this at church today:  Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some people ever read. 

I'm going to try...and fail...and try again...but I am going to try.

Organized is good...also the art of NO

Yes, it is! I've spent the last two days rearranging/reorganizing my kitchen, pantry, and utility room, and verily I say unto you...it is good! I have a few drawers in my bedroom to take care of--just the usual yearly straightening--but all in good time.

I guess I've always been organized as far as the big things--keeping up with important papers/information, etc., because that's how I was brought up. But I let many of the smaller areas slide into pure chaos, citing the pressure of work, kids, and so on. After I retired, I began to make inroads on knowing where things were without having to look. Of course, now I have grandchildren who have taken over the guest room and that closet, but I go in periodically and reorganize that, too, and if they can't find what they want, they can look for it themselves!

It's a good feeling to be organized, because that equals being in control. No, let me rephrase that--it means taking control of my life in ways I never did before. Again--I used the excuses of work, kids, parents, and so on. After I retired, I felt I could finally be me--but others had different ideas. So, it's taken a few precious years of my retirement to be able to stand up and say,

No, I don't want the garage 'organized' that way.No, I can't be 'on-call' for you any longer, and that doesn't make me selfish.No, I don't like the pictures hung on the wall that (not my) way.No, I won't have someone out to blow leaves before they are all off the trees.No, I will not apologize for buying the car I wanted instead of what someone else wanted.No, I am not 'morbid' for getting my affairs in order so you don't have to go through what I did.No, I will not apologize for 'cluttering up' my garage with recycling which I take regularly.No, I am not sorry I have bins of 'old' keepsakes put away--someone is going to want them someday.No, I am not whining when I say I'm tired--I'm not thirty any more.
I could go on, but you get the idea.  
It's been a hectic holiday season--not that I planned it that way. I've provided daycare for grandchildren out of school. I've had company and cooked and cleaned and cooked some more. On Monday the girls go back to school. I have a list of things to accomplish in town. Not this Sunday but the next, right after church, I am taking off for a week's 'writing retreat' at this lovely little spot (http://atlivingwatercabins.com/) not too far away--but far enough to be out of reach! I have a book ready to go up on Amazon, which will include marketing, and will do some writing on the new cozy mystery series. Just solitude, rippling water, and me--and hopefully some warmer weather for porch-sitting and walking about.
I have a busy year ahead--seven books to get 'out there'. I'm organized and ready for the adventure!  

Season's Greetings

Jesus is the reason for the season!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

'Tis the Season

The season. Christmas. The holidays. Yuletide. Whatever it's called, it has rolled around again just as it does every year. And, too soon, it will be gone. What--if anything--will it leave behind? Dying trees, flickering lights, trash bags of wrapping paper, dissatisfaction with gifts received, relief, exhaustion...for many, yes, all the aforementioned are what they reap from the holiday season.

For those who have attacked it with the purpose of wiping it out, there is a modicum of success to be gloated over, I suppose. Not content to let the season pass by unnoticed because of their own beliefs, they have done everything possible to ruin it for those who celebrate it for what it is--the birth of Christ. The arguments they make--separation of church and state (which is not in the Constitution, actually), offensiveness to non-believers, ad naseum--are old and tired. The simple fact is, they want to impose their own agenda on everyone and will employ their bullying tactics wherever they can get away with it. Sometimes I feel angry--other times I just feel sorry for these people. And they are human beings and deserving of my compassion though they feel none for me.

My own approach to Christmas has changed over the years. I'm less focused on shopping, cooking, and decorating--and sometimes a little resentful if pressured into doing more than I want to do.  I enjoy Christmas music playing throughout the house, the lights on my down-sized tree, the limited gift-buying I do for my grandchildren, and relaxing with old, well-loved movies such as "White Christmas" and "A Christmas Carol". I want to internalize the true meaning of the season and remember the coming of the Prince of Peace, the Savior of mankind.

The recent "flap" over replacing Santa Claus with a penguin in the name of racial diversity is ridiculously laughable. Santa Claus is the Spirit of Christmas giving. I've seen him portrayed as both black and white, and my feeling is, who cares? The historical St. Nicholas was indeed Caucasian, and one can't change history--but when we view him as a spirit, we can look at him however we wish, and it changes nothing. He is still representative of Christmas joy!

I was taught as a child in Sunday School that Jesus was less the fair-skinned image portrayed in our children's Bibles and in stained glass and more likely darker-complected due to living outdoors in the Middle East. I found that knowledge interesting and accepted it as more historically correct. I've even seen Him portrayed in art as black and oriental.  If we believe the Genesis story that God created man in His own image (and I do), skin color is a moot point.

I wonder sometimes if God doesn't shake His head at the nit-picking. I personally am out of patience with it.

Finally, Christmas isn't a day in the month of December but rather a season of the heart. I heard a song once--a secular one to be sure but very true--that it's not about the things we do at Christmastime but "the Christmas things we do all year through".

Ebeneezer Scrooge learned to keep Christmas in his heart. So may we all. 

I wish all of you a blessed season of joy, peace, and hope.

Current Rants and Raves

Raves first:  I'm currently reading Dr. Charles Krauthammer's Things That Matter . The man is not only brilliant but outrageously funny. I sat in the pick-up line for my granddaughter yesterday and almost found myself unable to drive because of laughing so hard at his "Don't Touch My Junk" essay.

Kudos to the school children/parents in South Carolina who fought back against a group of sue-happy bullying "humanists" determined to keep them from providing Christmas gifts for children. These lovely groups go in and threaten to sue small towns/schools which don't have the money to fight them in court, and they know it. It's bullying pure an simple--and even worse, bullying someone smaller and weaker.

Fox News journalist Megyn Kelly interviewed the head of the humanist group threatening to sue, and he proclaimed they'd sent money to the Philippines for disaster relief. Good for them. But he couldn't answer when she asked him what they were doing for the children who wouldn't be getting gifts because of his group. He looked blank when she said well, he was protecting them from being "evangelized" and she was sure that would give them "warm comfort"on Christmas morning. In the midst of total disgust for people like this, you have to feel sorry for them, too...just a little.

The new Common Core curriculum taking over our schools seems designed to indoctrinate students in the almighty government (current)doctrine. Sixth-graders in an AR school were asked to re-write the Bill of Rights. In another school, teachers were directed to read the Gettysburg Address without expression and without giving the historical background. A fourth grade class biography about Obama seems to want students to believe all white people are racists. And, of course, Education Secretary Arne Duncan lashed out at "white suburban moms" criticizing his baby.Some states, I understand, are pulling out. I hope the rest follow suit.

Folks, I don't know about you, but I am about fed up with being told what a terrible racist  I am because I am white. I was born white--nothing I can do about it. I am a Christian and a political conservative by choice. I have that right in a free country. I lived through the Civil Rights Era, and you can bet I was rooting for all those determined to end racial discrimination in every corner of society. We have come too far to play the "race card" at every turn just because someone disagrees with someone else. I'm done with political correctness. You can teach but not mandate courtesy and respect. I was taught both. If someone else wasn't, well, that's their problem.

I'm tired of the name-calling, the double-speak, professional politicians who live a fine life on my tax dollar, the race-baiters, and those who would deny kindness and compassion if it's linked in any way to the G-word--that being God.

God help America!

(I hope the NSA and anyone else tracking American citizens on the internet takes note of this post. I guess I will know they did if my tax return gets audited or a swat team shows up at my house with/without a search warrant.)

America! America! God shed His grace on Thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhod
From sea to shining sea!