Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 83
July 5, 2023
Michael Imperioli says no to bigots
Actor Michael Imperioli’s response to the Supreme Court’s ruling in favor of a Christian web designer who refuses to create websites to celebrate same-sex weddings:
“I’ve decided to forbid bigots and homophobes from watching The Sopranos, The White Lotus, Goodfellas, or any movie or tv show I’ve been in. Thank you, Supreme Court, for allowing me to discriminate and exclude those who I don’t agree with and am opposed to. USA! USA!”
Not bad.
In fairness, the ruling does not permit the web designer to refuse to do business with members of the LGBTQ community. It precludes business owners from being forced to produce content that stands in opposition to their religious beliefs.
A gay person could still hire this web designer to create an online campaign to sell their kosher hot dogs and male lingerie.
Still, Supreme Court’s ruling sucks.
Also, you probably shouldn’t sell kosher hot dogs and male lingerie on the same website.
In solidarity with Imperioli, I’ll assume a similar stance with one minor change:
I despise the words “homophobia” or “homophobe” because both imply fear instead of hatred. Absent a word like “racist” or “sexist” to describe someone who hates gay people, I simply refer to anyone who discriminates against members of the LGBTQ community for any reason as a bigot.
It’s what they are.
So:
If you’re a bigot, please don’t purchase my books, attend any of my shows, or send me large sums of cash in the mail. Like Michael Imperioli, I don’t want your business.
Actually, the large sums of cash would be fine.
July 4, 2023
Unfortunate unkindness in large numbers
Last week, I wrote a post celebrating the sacrifices made by Jennifer Garner in order to make her dreams come true.
In another post, I wrote about McDonald’s failure to offer alternating messaging on its drive-thru menu boards.
Both posts received quite a bit of attention on a variety of platforms, including thousands and thousands of comments and shares.
In response to my post celebrating Garner’s sacrifices on her journey to excellence, a surprising number of people essentially wrote, “Yeah, but…”
“Yeah, but what about everyone who makes sacrifices and never gets their big break?”
“Yeah, but not everyone can make those kinds of sacrifices.”
“Yeah, but if she weren’t so privileged by her race or education, those sacrifices may have been irrelevant or impossible.”
Possibly true on all accounts, but those comments still surprised me. Can’t we just celebrate a person’s sacrifices and honor their exceptional grit without maligning their achievements, undermining their sacrifices, and mitigating their hard work? Must we transform my attempt to celebrate someone’s hard work into a referendum on the pitfalls and perils of trying to make your dreams come true in this imperfect, oftentimes unfair world?
I found these responses to be ridiculous.
In response to my post about the McDonald’s drive-thru board, many comments were thoughtful, positive, and constructively critical. But hundreds of people responded with things like:
“You have too much time on your hands.”
“You need a hobby.”
“You are clearly a person without any real problems in your life.”
“Why are you writing such nonsense?”
“Your stupid idea will make no difference to the company’s bottom line.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Stop wasting my time.”
Lots of other, assorted name-calling.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
First, if you know me at all, you know that I never have too much time on my hands, nor do I need another hobby. As Clara said when she heard me talking about these comments:
“You already have 14 jobs and a million hobbies!”
More amusing, every person who said that I was wasting my time or their time was simultaneously spending their time scrolling through social media, reading my post, and writing snarky, oftentimes unkind, sometimes unexpectedly cruel comments, thus wasting their own time in the process.
They also failed to see the irony in their responses.
At the very least, I didn’t spend my precious minutes scrolling through social media. I put forth an idea. Produced a list of amusing options. Assembled words. Made something that tens of thousands of people read and many enjoyed. Then I reformatted the idea into letter form and sent it to McDonald’s to see what they thought.
Who was really wasting their time in this scenario?
These are also people who don’t understand how small changes, repeated and compounded over time, can produce extraordinary results. They don’t know anything about marketing, advertising, and branding. They fail to see how small, consistent messaging can make enormous changes in a consumer’s perception, appreciation, and ultimate desire to purchase of a product or service.
Mostly, my unkind, less-than-thoughtful critics made outrageous assumptions, spoke from a place of ignorance, pretended to know things they could never possibly know, and lashed out with unkindness and cruelty.
But in both of these cases – my celebratory post about Jennifer Garner and the post proposing changes to McDonald’s messaging – the thing I found most astounding was the inability of so many people to read these posts and not respond defensively.
A simple celebration of Jennifer Garner’s sacrifices was treated like an indictment of their own life and the pursuit of their own dreams.
A proposed list of amusing messages on a drive-thru menu, and possibly the attention the post has received from tens of thousands of readers, was reason enough to personally attack the writer receiving attention for his idea.
I wasn’t angry or upset about these responses. After nearly two decades of writing and publishing something online every day without missing a day, I have grown accustomed to criticism and personal attacks. I oftentimes find amusement in the vitriol.
After suffering a libelous, anonymous attack by cowards who wanted me removed from my teaching position years ago, I have become rather impervious to unwarranted, unjustified, and poorly deployed criticism.
And being a part of a successful Supreme Court lawsuit against Donald Trump and having my name published in newspapers around the country, you can just imagine what some of my fellow Americans had to say to me.
My armor is nearly impenetrable.
I also know that almost every one of the people who have denigrated me online would never have the courage to do so in person. In most cases, these are probably lovely people who were baited by the anonymity of the internet to lash out for reasons that have little to do with what I actually wrote.
I was mostly disappointed.
Disappointed that so many people saw these posts as some kind of personal attack or threat to their own standing or ego.
Disappointed that people could not be celebrated and ideas could not be peacefully debated without ad hominem attacks and ridiculous refutations.
Disappointed in the apparent insecurity of so many people and the unfortunate response that it produced.
But as my literary agent is fond of writing in her emails to me:
“Onward!”
And as I am fond of saying whenever necessary:
“To hell with those people. I’m certainly happier than them!”
July 3, 2023
Perfect games
Elysha surprised me on Father’s Day with Yankees tickets
We’ll be heading to Yankee Stadium later this week to watch them play the Baltimore Orioles.
For me, it will be my first time attending a game in the new Yankee Stadium. I’ve seen dozens of Yankees games in my life, but none since 2008, when I took Elysha and my friends, Matt and Kelly, to the old stadium in one of its final games before demolition. By then, I was a Patriots season ticket holder, and Elysha was pregnant and about to give birth to Clara, so the combination of Sundays in Foxboro and a baby at home has kept me from seeing games at the new stadium.
I drive by the stadium all the time, but I have yet to set foot inside.
I’m looking forward to it.
Also, given my good fortune when it comes to baseball games, I expect something miraculous to happen.
At the beginning of every major-league game, the chances of a pitcher throwing a perfect game is .000983 percent. That averages to about one perfect game every 34 seasons.
This made New York Yankees pitcher Domingo Germán’s perfect game last Wednesday night against the Oakland Athletics a remarkable, improbable moment.
Sadly, I missed the game. It was on the west coast, and I was not watching on television.
But when it comes to perfect games, I have been incredibly fortunate.
On May 17, 1998, I watched David Wells throw a perfect game at Yankee Stadium on Beanie Baby Day. Though the Beanie Baby market has since cratered, leaving collectors with thousands of unwanted toys, those Beanie Babies from Wells’ perfect game are worth as much as $1,000 today.
Sadly, I gave mine away to a little girl at the beginning of the game.
One year later, on July 18, 1999, I watched David Cone throw a perfect game at Yankee Stadium. I nearly skipped that game because I was preparing to leave for vacation the next day, but at the last moment, I decided that I shouldn’t miss a baseball game just so that I could pack my bag and rest for the flight to Los Angeles.
Thank goodness.
In both instances, the excitement in the ballpark was electric. They were two of the most exciting sporting moments of my life.
There have been 24 perfect games in the 120 years of Major League baseball. Just two dozen perfect games in more than 235,000 games played.
I’ve seen 8 percent of them live.
Lucky me.
I can’t wait to see what happens this week.
July 2, 2023
The FBI called
Storytelling can take you to some crazy places.
It’s taken me as far as Sao Paulo, Brazil, to work with high school students and engineering companies.
I’ve traveled to Canada to teach members of the Mohawk Nation of Canada to tell stories.
I’ve worked as a substitute minister at churches, leading Sunday services.
I’ve consulted with the CEOs of Fortune 100 companies and the Presidents of universities and hospitals. Coached magicians, Santa Clauses, Olympic gold medalists, stand-up comedians, ghost hunters, and three people who have summited Mount Everest.
My latest:
Working with the hostage negotiation unit of the FBI.
This one has Charlie excited. As soon as he heard the news, he made this.
I think my coolness factor – at least in his eyes – has increased dramatically.
July 1, 2023
Resolution update: June 2023
1. Don’t die.
Still alive.
As always, I plan on living forever or die trying.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Hopefully excellent
2. Lose 20 pounds.
I lost another 3 pounds in June, bringing my total weight loss to 35 pounds in 2023.
I won’t declare victory until I get through the year with sustained weight loss, but at the moment, the goal to lose 20 pounds, as well as my revised goal of 30 pounds, has been achieved.
Now that I’ve hit my new goal, I’m setting my sights on another 10 pounds, which would bring my total weight loss to 40 pounds. This might be difficult but not impossible.
I still need some new pants.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and three one-minute planks five days a week.
I did not miss a single day in June.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
4. Cycle for at least five days every week.
Done. I cycled every day in June. My stationary bike broke and was out of commission for about a week, but happily, the weather was suitable for riding outdoors.
I also rode the bike (stationary and actual bike) two or more times on a single day for 16 days in June.
I still want a stationary rower. I still don’t know where to put it.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
5. Improve my golfing handicap by two strokes.
My handicap at the start of the year was 17.6.
I played about a dozen rounds of golf in June and increased my handicap is up to 20.9.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’m getting much better.
Lessons continue.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
WRITING CAREER6. Complete my eighth novel.
The book is about half complete, but I haven’t made any progress in 2023 as I focus on my nonfiction first.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Good
7. Write my next Storyworthy book.
Work continues. Five chapters were completed in June. Due September 1.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
My agent has my beaver-related picture book for review.
I’ve also started two new ideas. Short, incomplete, and very much in the rough draft stage. All of this must wait until the fall, but I feel excited about the ideas I have.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
9. Write a new solo show.
“Writing” is being completed in earnest. I put the word “writing” in parentheses because I don’t actually write anything that I perform onstage. I speak it aloud, crafting and revising orally, holding it in my mind, and eventually, I’ll make a recording that I can then listen to, evaluate, and revise.
I may eventually use text-to-speech to create a document that can be used for lighting cues, but for now, everything is worked on aloud and stored in my brain, as is my process for everything I’ve ever spoken onstage.
But still… it’s coming along. I’ve got a solid 40 minutes so far.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
10. Perform a new solo show.
July 30 – August 1. TheaterWorks in Hartford, CT. Get your tickets here.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
11. Write a musical.
My friend Kaia and I are writing a musical that we will also perform, even though I cannot sing. She writes the music and lyrics. She and I write the story.
I need to write some of the story in order for Kaia to begin writing music. I haven’t done that yet because we are currently immersed in the solo show, but once it’s done, I’m hoping to turn my focus on this next staged project.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Unlikely
12. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
No progress.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
13. Write at least four letters to my father.
I wrote a birthday note to my father in March.
One letter has been sent in 2023 so far.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
14. Write 100 letters in 2022.
Another 15 letters were sent in June, bringing the total number to 94.
Recipients included students, the parents of students, Little League coaches, a restaurant, and gymnast Olivia Dunne.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
15. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
No progress. There is probably a company that does this sort of thing.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Probable
16. Read at least 12 books.
In June, I read “The Science of Storytelling” by William Storr and “Slayers and Vampires: The Unauthorized Oral History of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel” by Edward Gross and Mark Altman.
That makes eight books so far in 2023.
I’m in the middle of reading the following books:
“The Other Wes Moore” by Wes Moore
“Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products” by Nir Eyal and Ryan Hoover
“Tough Sh*t” by Kevin Smith
“From Saturday Night to Sunday Night” by Dick Ebersol
“Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty
“The Groucho Letters”
Eight books read so far in 2023.
“Sapiens” by Yuval Harari
“Life’s a Gamble” by Mike Sexton
“The Sea We Swim In” by Frank Rose
“Born a Crime” by Trevor Noah
This Will All Be Over Soon” by Cecily Strong
“Magic Words” by Jonah Berger
“The Science of Storytelling” by William Storr
“Slayers and Vampires” by Edward Gross and Mark Altman
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
17. Read TIME’s 100 Best Children’s Books of All Time.
I didn’t read any of these books in June. Reading will resume in September when school starts.
A total of 15 so far.
I’ve read many of the other books on the list in the past, but I am only counting those books that I have read in 2023 toward my goal.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
18. Write to at least six authors about a book I love.
No progress.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Good
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER19. Complete the re-recording of Storyworthy For Business.
“Storyworthy” for Business is complete and available for purchase. Find it and much more at storyworthymd.com.
I want to produce a much-improved version of the course ASAP. Module 1 is now re-recorded. Module 2 (and many other things) is currently being recorded. It will take a while, but the results, I believe, will be extraordinary.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
20. Record the next Storyworthy course.
Done.
Two brand-new courses have been added to the Storyworthy platform:
Finding Stories
Anatomy of a Story
Humor: Volume #1
I’m exceptionally proud of them. You should check them out.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Absolute
21. Produce a total of six Speak Up storytelling events in 2023
We produced two shows in 2023 so far:
April 22 at the Connecticut Historical SocietyMay 4 in partnership with Voices of HopeOur next show is a collaboration with another local show on July 29. Tickets here.
We also have shows scheduled in the summer and fall that we will be announcing shortly.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Probable
22. Pitch myself to at least three upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
Done!
I spoke at a TEDx event at the University of Connecticut in January. It went well despite a malfunctioning clicker that sometimes advanced two slides instead of one.
You can’t imagine how annoyed this made me.
Also, due to the delay in posting a TEDx Talk from more than a year ago, my University of Connecticut talk will not be loaded onto the TED platform for reasons I don’t quite understand.
I also spoke at a TEDx event in Natick, MA on April 13. It went quite well.
I pitched myself to TEDx events in Harlem, Roxbury, and on the campus of Yale University. Harlem has declined. I await word from the two others.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Absolute
23. Attend at least eight Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
I attended two StorySLAMs in June. Boston and New York. My name remained stubbornly in the hat for both.
A total of nine Moth shows altogether in 2023 thus far.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Absolute
24. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
Done. I won the Moth StorySLAM in Boston on March 29.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Absolute
25. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I competed in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in May and did not win. I also had to go first, which is not exactly fun or conducive to winning.
I was invited to compete in the Seattle GrandSLAM in March, but traveling cross country was not possible at that time.
I await invitations from producers in New York, Washington DC, and Boston again (where I have won StorySLAMs in the past year) when my turn comes up.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
26. Produce at least 24 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
No progress
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Unlikely
27. Perform stand-up at least six times in 2022.
No progress.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
28. Pitch three stories to This American Life.
No progress.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
29. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
No progress.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
30. Send a newsletter to readers at least 50 times.
Four newsletters were sent in June. Two bi-weekly storytelling newsletters and two Speak Up show and workshop updates.
A total of 39 newsletters have been sent thus far in 2023.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
HOME31. Clear the basement.
Major progress was made in June. Nearly all of the furniture has been repositioned. Items continued to be removed. Work is going well.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
32. Clean and clear the garage.
A much-needed dumpster, a trip to the dump, or perhaps a neighbor’s tag sale will be key to completing this task, but it’s nearly done. There are large items that need to be discarded, and a pile of school supplies needs to be eliminated, but otherwise, almost complete.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
33. Furnish and decorate the studio.
Done!
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Absolute
34. Eliminate clothing not being worn and closet bins.
Just two bins left to go through with Elysha.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
FAMILY/FRIENDS35. Text or call my brother or sister once per month.
Done.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Probable
36. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
37. Take at least one photo with Elysha and me each week.
Two photos of just Elysha and me together in June. Lots of photos of the four of us together, but only two of just us.
Many four of the four of us, but that doesn’t count.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
38. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Unlikely
39. I will not comment – positively or negatively – about the physical appearance of any person save my wife and children in order to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
40. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2023.
When buying flowers for Clara and Elysha’s two students following their dance recitals, I also bought and surprised Elysha with flowers as well, for all the effort put into getting Clara prepared for her performance.
Elysha took those flowers and turned them into something even more beautiful.
Surprises this year have included:
Half a dozen birthday cards, all handmade, scattered throughout her life on her birthdayTickets to the upcoming Lizzo concertA Pusheen Mystery BoxGoodie bag of Trader Joe’s delightsCoat from Canyon RanchVisit from KathySurprise dessert delivered personally to her schoolAnother surprise surprise dessert delivered personally to her schoolAnother Pusheen Mystery BoxTickets to Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, Tina Fey/Amy Poehler, and Jenny LewisFlowers following Clara’s dance recitalEleven surprises so far in 2023.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Absolute
41. Play poker at least six times in 2023.
No progress. It’s ridiculous since I love this game so much.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
42. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
Two visits in June.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Probable
MUSIC43. Memorize the lyrics to at least five favorite songs.
I memorized the lyrics to Vance Joy’s “Lay It On Me.” It’s an excellent song if you don’t know it.
I also memorized the lyrics to “Come a Little Bit Closer” by Jay and the Americans. Also excellent.
I’m still working on Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way” and “Renegade” by Styx (with Charlie).
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
44. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
Done.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
MISCELLANEOUS PROJECTS
45. Learn the names of every employee who works at my school.
I learned the name of two paraprofessionals who will not be working in our school in September. Oh well.
But September is a great time to ensure that I learn the names of new employees.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
46. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
Done! The wedding video, along with a great deal of other content, was successfully extracted from my ancient Apple laptop. The footage was not removed in perfect order, so some work will need to be done to reassemble the parts of the video, but at last, this goal has been completed.
So excited!
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Absolute
47. Memorize five new poems.
No progress.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
48. Write to at least three colleges about why they should hire me.
I have begun writing the letter, though I’m starting to wonder if I would still want the job.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
49. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
I’ve reached out to the folks who manage the cemeteries in Newington for assistance on this project in March.
No response.
I need to try again.
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Possible
50. Post my progress regarding these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done!
LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION IN 2023: Excellent
June 30, 2023
Four freedoms plus one more
Jamelle Bouie writes in the New York Times about Four Freedoms, According to the Republicans. They include:
The freedom to control — to restrict the bodily autonomy of women and repress the existence of anyone who does not conform to traditional gender roles.The freedom to exploit — to allow the owners of business and capital to weaken labor and take advantage of workers as they see fit.The freedom to censor — to suppress ideas that challenge and threaten the ideologies of conservatives and the ruling class.The freedom to menace — to carry weapons wherever you please, to brandish them in public, to turn the right of self-defense into a right to threaten other people.I liked the list a lot.
I’d argue that Bouie is talking about the right wing of the Republican party and that more rationale, moderate Republicans would not agree to or condone all four of these freedoms, but sadly, that far right, MAGA wing wields enormous power in the Republican party today, and based upon that power, it might now represent the heart of the Republican party.
When the likes of Marjorie Taylor Green, Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, and Paul Gosar are dictating Republican agendas, the party has essentially been turned over to them.
It’s not hard to see how these four freedoms are playing out today.
The overturning of abortion rights, the marginalization and outright attacks on transgender people, the refusal of Republicans to pass overwhelmingly popular, common sense legislation like universal background checks on all gun purchases, the enormous rise in book banning, and legislation designed to erode the strength of labor and unions are all very real Republican pursuits.
Just this week, Republicans in Texas passed a law that nullifies ordinances enacted by Austin in 2010 and Dallas in 2015 that established mandated, ten-minute breaks every four hours so construction workers can drink water and protect themselves from the sun. The law also prevents other cities from passing such rules in the future.
Texas, of course, is the state where the most workers die from high temperatures, government data shows. But a mandated, ten-minute water break every four hours was too much regulation for the Republican lawmakers to bear.
Again, I’d argue that my Republican friends don’t support many or any of these far-right agendas. Still, they are members of a party that is actively, aggressively, and relentlessly pursuing these agendas, and as long as rational Republicans remain within the party, supporting the organization financially and politically, they risk supporting these agendas.
I’d also like to add a fifth freedom to Bouie’s list:
The freedom of hypocrisy in the pursuit of power — to support a twice impeached, twice indicted former President who lied to the American people about the dangers of COVID, paid hush money to a porn star, operated a fake charity that stole millions from Americans, operated a fake university that stole millions from Americans, stole, disclosed, and refused to return top secret documents to the United States government, and remained silent for more than three hours while a crowd of rioters and teams from at least two paramilitary militias attacked the United States capitol in a coordinated effort to stop the peaceful transfer of power and threaten the murder of the vice president and other lawmakers.
He also referred to Nazis in Charlottesville as “very fine people,” enacted a travel ban on Muslims, revealed classified information to the Russian ambassador inside the Oval Office and endangered the life of an Israeli spy in the process, separated migrant children from their parents at the border (some of whom were never reunited), and altered a meteorological map with a Sharpie after he misstated the path of a hurricane.
Admittedly, my freedom is not as concise as any in Bouie’s list, but I had a lot of material to work with.
June 29, 2023
She sees me.
My friend, Kathy, sent this cartoon to me with the message:
“Saw this and thought of you.”
Sometimes a simple cartoon and six words can make you feel so seen and so well-known.
It oddly meant a lot.
June 28, 2023
“You’re a Monster, Matthew Dicks” extended!
Exciting, thrilling, over-the-moon announcement:
My solo show, scheduled for July 30 and 31 at TheaterWorks, has been extended through August 1 due to demand.
The July 30 and 31 shows are nearly sold out, so we are adding one more night. If you don’t yet have tickets yet, good seats are now available. Get them while you can!
The title of the show is “You’re a Monster, Matthew Dicks.”
The description of the show is this:
________________________________
Matthew Dicks wants to live forever. His fifth-grade student (and most of his classmates) think it’s a terrible idea. Join internationally bestselling author and record 10-time Moth GrandSLAM champion Matthew Dicks as he tells an oftentimes hilarious, occasionally tragic, unfortunately true story about his life that seeks to answer the question:
Are you a monster if you crave immortality?
________________________________
Best of all, every dollar of ticket sales goes directly to Theaterworks to promote the great work they do.
I hope you’ll join me for a night of laughter, stories, and maybe even a few tears.
New words won’t always be good words in the future
I recently used the phrase “Mexican standoff” in a storytelling performance and was warned that it might not be culturally sensitive.
I looked into it, and as far as I can tell, its origins are not racist or culturally insensitive, and most linguists agree that it’s still a perfectly acceptable description of a confrontation between two or more people in which no party can easily best the other and walk away unscathed.
However, linguists also acknowledge that the word “Mexican” in the description might cause people to feel it’s insensitive despite its historical context.
In other words, tread lightly. Some uninformed people might complain.
I’m always willing to adjust my vocabulary to be more sensitive to the needs of others. I am not one of these teeny-tiny-brained monsters who refuse to adjust pronouns or use a new word to express an older idea when necessary.
LSU gymnast Olivia Dunne, for example, recently proclaimed at a NASCAR event that her pronouns are “USA!” Not only is Dunne clearly incapable of adjusting her language to meet the needs of others, but she also doesn’t understand the definition of a pronoun.
I wrote to her to explain.
A few years ago, I stopped using the word “savage” to describe people after I learned (from a teenager) that the term was deliberately popularized and applied to indigenous people by European explorers to label them as uncivilized, thus allowing for their murder.
I was so annoyed. I liked the word a lot, but again, I’m not a teeny-tiny-brained monster incapable of discarding a word if its origins are steeped in bloodshed.
While I try to be sensitive, I also remind people – particularly some of today’s more self-righteous, indignant people – that today’s enlightenment will likely be tomorrow’s horror show.
“Colored person,” for example, was once the predominant and preferred term for black people in the mid-to-late nineteenth century because both white and black Americans considered it more inclusive.
What we once thought of as progressive is now viewed as offensive.
“Bipoc” is a good example of what might be. While it’s a word commonly used today to refer to black, indigenous, and people of color, it’s not impossible to see a day when future generations wonder why we were lumping so many people into a single category.
“Why did you use one word to describe everyone who wasn’t white?” your granddaughter may rightly ask, even though the word is commonly and inoffensively used today.
The group descriptor LGBTQ might also sound fairly arcane in the future. Why lump sexual orientation and gender identity into the same category? The two are very different.
“And by the way,” your granddaughter might add. “Sexuality is quite fluid. Why the hell were you trying to define it with a handful of letters?”
“Unhoused” is another popular term being used today in place of “homeless,” which makes sense. Don’t define a person’s entire being by their housing status. But when I recently told the story of my homelessness, someone who had never been homeless for a day in their life tried to correct me by saying I was unhoused.
This was not okay. “Unhoused” may be a more sensitive term, and I may use it to describe others, but when telling my own story, I will use “homeless” if I want because it describes my housing status and my feelings about it perfectly, both then and now.
My point is this:
Language evolves. Reasonable people become more sensitive and more aware of people’s needs, and we adjust our vocabulary when necessary. We don’t shout that our pronouns are “USA” to score points with teeny-tiny-brained monsters who can’t stand to see the world around them change.
But please, let us also never assume that today’s new word is the end-all-be-all of our language.
Do not get too confident in your self-righteous indignation. For you overly aggressive language police, maybe pump the brakes a little on your righteousness.
Future generations will likely perceive you as an uninformed, insensitive nitwit, and probably rightfully so.
June 27, 2023
Elysha Dicks: ESOL teacher
Please allow me to sing the praises of my wife, Elysha Dicks, who completed a year-long journey yesterday by passing her state certification test with flying colors and becoming officially certified to teach English speakers of other languages.
She scored 191 out of a possible 200 points, for a 96%.
Despite her outstanding score, she claimed that the test was exceptionally difficult. Maybe so, but when you get almost every answer correct, you probably shouldn’t lament the test’s challenging nature.
She crushed it.
Elysha began the certification process last September, and for the entire school year – more than ten months in total – she spent some of her Saturdays, most of her Sundays, and every Monday evening learning, reading, studying, writing, and collaborating. She wrote research papers, completed projects, filled in endless learning logs, taught model lessons, and more.
She sat at the dining room table and wrote. She stretched out on the couch and worked. She brought books to baseball games and anyplace else where a little bit of studying could be done. She met with classmates virtually and in real life to complete assignments. And for the last two weeks, ever since the school year ended, she has studied relentlessly for the test.
I’m thrilled that she can now pursue a dream that she’s had for a while. Ever since working with a student from Isreal many years ago, Elysha has loved working with the students and the families of students for whom English is a new language. This past school year, two-thirds of her kindergarten class comprised students for whom English was a brand new language or their second language. Though it sounds like an impossible and ridiculous situation to me, she adores that work.
She chased her dream. Worked like hell to make it happen. Made enormous sacrifices in terms of time and energy to get herself over the finish line.
Best of all, she was an incredible role model for our children throughout the entire process. Clara and Charlie had the opportunity to watch their mother spend a year as a student, working hard, trying her best, and giving up enormous amounts of leisure time to pursue a goal. While someone like me might’ve tried to do as little as possible to pass the course, Elysha sought excellence at every turn, and the kids could watch that process play out firsthand.
I’m sure it left an indelible mark and will hopefully inspire them to do the same.
Never one to rest on her laurels or remain stagnant in any way, Elysha has already begun the next step in her educational journey:
She’s already scheduled her first Spanish lesson.
Now that they can teach students for whom English is a second language, she wants to learn her own second language.
It’s all so damn impressive.
Congratulations, honey, on a job well done. I couldn’t be prouder of you.
