Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 575

The pap smears biggest problem

In the past, I've written about my distrust of flowery, ostentatious names, as well as any name that attempts to make something sound more cosmopolitan or international than it actually is.

Previous targets have included Chilean sea bass (Patagonian tooth fish), haricot verts (green beans), sweet meats (organs), field greens and crudités (uncooked vegetables).   

I also do not approve of naming choices that make foods sound less palatable than they really are.  Examples of this include pulled pork, head cheese and spotted dick (a pudding popular in the UK).

Names are important.  They should be accurate, descriptive, opaque and appealing whenever possible.      

Into the pantheon of naming missteps I would like to invite the pap smear.

I realize that the pap smear is considerably less optional than pulled pork or head cheese and therefore less in need of a consumer-friendly name. 

I also realize that the name is technically more accurate and descriptive than Chilean sea bass and sweet meats. 

Still, it's a bad name.

It's an awful name. 

There must be something better.  Something still descriptive in process but slightly more appealing than pap smear.

It would seem to me that almost any combination of words would be better than pap smear. 

Right?

The Clowns recap

Our reading of The Clowns took place last  weekend, and after a week to digest all that happened, I thought I'd offer a few reflections:

1.  Having never written a play before, the prospect of actual human beings performing my lines was both thrilling and terrifying.  Thankfully, the Playhouse on Park managed to cast seven truly skilled and gifted actors who both brought the characters to life and belted out the music with remarkable precision after less than seven hours of actual rehearsal time.

I have performed musical theater on that stage in the past, but I am not an actor. Actors are highly skilled individuals with talent and expertise, and it was on display last weekend.

2.  Of the seven primary characters in our rock opera, I thought only five belonged in the show. On several occasions over the past couple years, I made efforts to rid myself of my two least favorite characters by marginalizing their roles and generally ignoring them.  Despite my attempts, the actors playing these parts brought them to life in a way that I could have never expected.  The the end of the weekend, I came to realize that these two marginalized characters were two of the most important in the show.  I would have never come to this realization had it not been for the actors performing the roles.

3.  Prior to last weekend, I understood the music that my partner had written on only a cursory level.  As I wrote the script, I dropped songs into place, reading their lyrics for meaning but never truly falling in love with any of the songs.  Hearing them sung by the actors has changed everything,  My understanding of the songs has moved beyond the lyrics and onto the song itself.  I understand the emotionality of each song now.  The feelings that the characters are experiencing while singing.  I find myself singing songs from the show constantly, and I now have strong opinions about where songs would be better placed in the show, where lyrics might need to change and what songs deserve to be spotlighted. 

4.  One of the joys of watching the actors perform was discovering the unintended humor contained with the play.  On two occasions the audience erupted in laughter that I had not planned.  In both cases, I turned to my writing partner and said, "I didn't write that line!" 

"Yes, you did," he said, 

And he was right.  The line existed on the page, but the humor contained within the line had been lost to me until the actor managed to bring it forth.

Nothing is better than a free laugh.       

5.  The show still needs a lot of work.  The list of revisions that I have are endless, and by the time I am finished, I suspect that the show will bare little resemblance to what was performed last weekend. 

That said, I think people enjoyed the performance a great deal.

6.  After each performance, the audience was invited to share their opinions with us during a talk-back session and on comment cards.  I was happy to see that audience members were willing to share and were not shy about criticizing specific elements of the show. 

I've also received a great deal of criticism privately from friends, and all of it will help me a great deal. There are many, varied opinions on the show, and I think this is good.  It's a sign that the characters, the plot and the music engaged people.

7.  Two specific struggles that I have in terms of revision are this:

The rock opera is based upon an actual opera, and playing upon traditional operatic themes, I did not want to write a happy ending for any of the characters.  In fact, the final line of spoken dialogue is "No happy endings" and this was intentional.  While I like this stark realism, I realize now that I must also consider if an audience member wants to spend two hours in a theater and walk away feeling less than inspired.  While a novel need not end happily in order to satisfy a reader, a play might, and I will need to reconcile this during revision. 

I suspect that in place of a genuinely happy ending, I will be offering the audience some form of marginal optimism in hopes that this will be enough to satisfy them.

Of the three female characters in the play, two were characterized by audience members as doormats, and in many ways, they are. While one of these characters ultimately takes control of her destiny and moves on in a relatively superficial way, the female lead ends the show where she began: willingly engaged in a relationship with an unfaithful boyfriend, with no hope or vision for the future.

Some of the most harsh criticism has centered on the hopeless, pathetic nature of these female characters, and the lead in particular. While I agree that the female characters were one-dimensional and (most egregious) unfunny, I am left wondering if I am required to write a female lead with greater likeability and ambition. 

I have known women who hang onto the wrong guy for a long time, even in the face of mounting evidence that he is not right for them.  Hell, I know women like this right now, and I suspect that in the music world, this dynamic occurs even more frequently.

This is the kind of woman I wanted to portray in the show.  This is the woman whose motivation and purpose I wanted to explore.   

But this may not be what the audience wants to explore with me. 

It's interesting to note that of the four male characters in the show, all are failures to one degree or another as well.  None of the three musicians have any future in music.  Three are womanizers (one downright lecherous) and the other spends most of his time playing online videogames with kids.

Hardly impressive.  Yet not a word of criticism for their portrayal.  

It's also interesting to note that the only criticism of the female characters has come from women, and in speaking about this subject, some women have become downright angry about the portrayal.  It's as if the marginalization of my female characters was taken personally. While at least a couple men have commented on their one-dimensional nature, none have criticized the female characters for appearing pathetic, hopeless or unrealistic.      

It makes me want to conduct a sociological experiment in which I write two versions of the same play.  In one, the male lead will be hopeless and pathetic.  In the other, the female lead will be the lame one.

Then we ask for feedback and see if there is a disparity of opinion based upon the version of the show and the sex of the audience member.

But that's for another day. 

I have revisions to work on. 

What do Hannibal Lecter and I have in common?

It looks like I may have found a wine that I like.

A little at least.

If so, it means another resolution is knocked off my list. 

It's chianti. 

I've had two glasses so far. I liked the first and thought the second was palatable. 

I know nothing about chianti.  It is dry? Sweet? Cheap?

I don't know.  

The only thing I know about chianti is that Hannibal Lecter likes to drink it with fava beans and census takers. 

Which is extra creepy considering the image my editor sent me this week:

What do me and Hannibal Lecter have in common?

It looks like I may have found a wine that I like.

A little at least.

If so, it means another resolution is knocked off my list. 

It's chianti. 

I've had two glasses so far. I liked the first and thought the second was palatable. 

I know nothing about chianti.  It is dry? Sweet? Cheap?

I don't know.  

The only thing I know about chianti is that Hannibal Lecter likes to drink it with fava beans and census takers. 

Which is extra creepy considering the image my editor sent me this week:

The still-awaiting-a-proper-title To-Do List #2

Four weeks ago, I challenged myself to publish a clever, creative, subversive to-do list every Friday in the spirit of this best-ever to-do list:

Yes, I'm a day late.  I actually wrote the damn thing on Wednesday but forgot to post it on Friday. 

So here's the list.  Still no whiteboard donation, so a digital version only.

Unplug all the televisions in your home for three days. Find a house with an appropriately-sized pine tree on the front lawn. Decorate it for Christmas under the cover of dark. Drop a favorite book off on the stoop of an anonymous home with a note that reads:

I love this book. You might, too.

Comments, critiques and compliments welcomed.

This list still needs a name of some sort, so suggestions would be appreciated.

And if you're ever ambitious enough to attempt one of these things, PLEASE let me know.

I have a car full of books that I had planned on donating to the library, but at least a few of them will find their way onto stoops this week.

I'd love to decorate a tree if I can find the right one and a willing accomplice. 

A most wondrous thing?

What is the most wondrous thing? All around us people can be dying and we don't realize it can happen to us.

- Joan Halifax

Having survived two near-death experience as well as an armed robbery, it has become impossible for me to shed the specter of death. Not a single hour of the day goes by that I do not consider my mortality and the impermanence of the world and the people around me.

Literally.

My impending doom never leaves my thoughts. 

It is what drives me.  Propels me forward.  Forces me to consider how I have spent every minute of my day.

It is also what saddens me the most in this world. 

Joan Haliax is right.  How wondrous it must be to live a life unaware of the omnipresence of death.  

And yet how blinding it must also be to live a life unaware that it could and will end at any moment.

If given the choice, I am not sure which I would prefer.

Yes, I work a lot. Yes, I have a lot of jobs. But look at all the empirical happiness they bring me.

Forbes recent list of the 10 happiest jobs leaves me feeling quite happy.

Number 1 on the list is clergy, and while I am certainly not a fulltime leader of any church, I am a minister in the Universal Life Church (an online ministry that does not require any formal belief in God) and routinely marry couples and perform baby naming ceremonies.  And at least one family refers to my as their family's religious leader.

Probably not what Forbes had in mind when they included this on their list, but too bad. II have a ministerial ID card and everything. I'm counting it!  

Number 4 on the list is authors.  

Number 6 on the list is teachers.   

Not bad.  I currently hold three of the top six happiest jobs, and I agree with the findings of the study.  All three of these positions bring me immense satisfaction. 

Rarely is there a day when I am dreading going to work. 

In addition to these three, number 5 on the list is special education teachers.  While I am not a special education teacher in terms of certification, I have been teaching special education students in my classroom for fourteen years, and some of my most meaningful teaching moments have come when working with these students.

I feel like I should get credit for this one as well.

Also, number 2 on the list is firefighters, a job that I have been considering on a volunteer basis for a long time and have recently become more serious about pursuing.

It's a job that has always interested me on a number of levels, but if it can cause me to have five of the top six happiest jobs on the Forbes list, that's enough for me to give it a go.    

I've often said that I feel happier than most people around me. 

In fact, I once wrote a post about this very subject that I am currently unable to find (which makes me unhappy).

I also reported on a study last year that seems to indicate that the amount of television I watch has something to do with my happiness.

I suspect that there are many reasons for my near-constant state of happiness, and when I find that damn post, I will link to it and you can read about them all. 

I'm pretty sure my wife plays a large role in this.   

But thanks to this Forbes list of the top 10 happiest jobs, I now have an even more plausible explanation. 

I love the work I do, and it turns out that the work I do makes most people happy.

Lucky me.

French pastry expert

My daughter knew what brioche was before I did.

I'm pretty sure she also ate brioche before I did as well.  Unless I had some unknowingly at some point in my life. 

I knew that Clara would eventually know something I did not, but I didn't think she would be two-years old when it happened. 

This is how I end almost everyday with my daughter. Lucky me.

Football is beautiful.

My daughter came into the living room after her nap and looked at the television.

A football game was on.

She walked up to the television, her noses inches from the screen, then spread her arms out wide, palms up and said, "Beautiful!"

One of her finest moments thus far. 

Perhaps the finest moment.