Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 462
June 13, 2013
The Moth: Two Fathers
The following is a story that I told at a Moth StorySLAM at The New School in New York City in March of this year. The theme of the night was G0ing Sane.
I told a story about my attempts to win the approval of my father and then my stepfather.
I finished in third place.
107 Federal Street update
As you may know, my sister and I write a blog called 107 Federal Street (named after the address of our childhood home) where we attempt to recover and discuss memories from our childhood.
The purpose is twofold:
1. My memory from childhood is good, but my sister has an unbelievable memory. She can tell you what she wore on the first day of school for every year of schooling. She remembers names and dates and events like they happened yesterday. As such, she is an invaluable resource if I ever decided to write a memoir about my childhood (which I will likely do someday). This blog is a means on mining that memory and recording it somewhere in the event that I need it someday.
In short, I’m using my sister for my own eventual benefit.
2. I like to think that we are creating a record that our children could read someday so that they can learn a little more about their parents’ life and upbringing. Our mother passed away six years ago, and with her passing went all the memories from her childhood. They are lost forever. While I have no intention of ever dying, pianos fall out of windows from time to time, so you never know when life is going to squish you. This record is for my children to enjoy someday.
Happily, readers have been enjoying it, too, responding often and favorably to me about what we write. Kelli and I are currently on a roll. We’ve posted ten times in the past two month, including posts on our long lost step-siblings, our childhood pets and their frequent, brutal deaths, our elementary school teachers, our childhood poverty and more. If you’re interested in reading about any of these things, you can find our blog at 107federalstreet.blogspot.com.
June 12, 2013
Love me a drive-in movie
It’s the 80th anniversary of the drive-in movie theater.
From LIFE magazine:
It’s been 80 years since a New Jersey auto-parts store manager named Richard Hollingshead Jr. hit upon the idea of a drive-in theater. The wonder of Hollingshead’s concept, of course — as with all of the world’s greatest, most inspired, most life-affirming inventions — is that, despite how obvious it seems in retrospect, no one had thought of it before. Or, if anyone did think of it before, they hadn’t bothered to get a patent on the idea, as Hollingshead did on May 16, 1933. And no one had the wherewithal to actually envision, build and then open to the public this modern marvel, as Hollingshead and three other investors did when they cut the ribbon on the world’s first drive-in movie theater in Camden, New Jersey, on June 6, 1933.
On the anniversary of that landmark night 80 years ago, LIFE.com offers a series of photos celebrating the ingenious confluence of two of America’s abiding obsessions: movies and cars.
At the height of its popularity, there were more than 4,000 drive-in movie theaters throughout the country. Today less than 400 remain in business.
There are three within 30 minutes of my home.
Pleasant Valley Drive-In
Southington Drive-In
Mansfield Drive-In
When I tell this to people who live in Connecticut, they are often surprised. Three drive-in movie theaters within half an hour of their homes and no one seems to know.
I don’t understand it.
I consider these drive-in movie theaters a blessing.
When I was a boy, my parents took us to the drive-in movie theater in Mendon, Massachusetts. It is one of two drive-in movie theaters in Massachusetts that remains open today. When I was a child, the theater charged by the person, so my father would stuff us into the trunk and sneak us in to save a few bucks.
Today the theater charges $25 per car.
No sneaking in anymore.
We would always arrive extremely early and eat a picnic dinner before the show. We’d toss a football around in front of the massive screen and watch the stars appear in the sky, one by one, until it was dark enough to show the first movie.
When the film began, we’d climb atop the hood of the car and lean back against the windshield, wrapped in sleeping bags. If the temperature dropped too low, my father would start the car and warm us up by the heat of the engine.
There was also a drive-in theater called The Rustic in North Smithfield, Rhode Island that showed rated X movies. The screen directed away from the street, tempting passersby to try to catch a glimpse of that film as they sped down route 146. The Rustic is also still in operation today, though apparently they have dispensed with their more racy film choices.
When Clara was an infant, Elysha and I spent our summer at the drive in, watching movie after movie while she slept soundly in the backseat. We saw more than 20 movies that year, exceeding my goal of a dozen and proving to naysayers that a child did not spell the end to our movie going past time.
Clara is four years old now and considers almost every movie, regardless of age range, too frightening to watch, so it might be a while before we bring her and Charlie back to the drive-in.
June 11, 2013
Placing an engagement ring in food is stupid.
Last week comedian and podcast host Marc Maron proposed to his girlfriend by hiding the engagement ring in a stack of pancakes.
I do not understand the decision to conceal the engagement ring in food or drink. I cannot imagine a single instance in which this is the best or most preferred way to propose. It strikes me as a passive, ordinary, possibly cowardly and an almost certainly sticky way to propose to a woman.
There is nothing romantic about someone reaching into a stack of pancakes or a glass of champagne to receive their engagement ring for the first time.
In my not-so-humble opinion, it’s just plain stupid.
It’s not like an effective and memorable proposal is that difficult.
1. Choose the right place.
I chose Grand Central Station in New York City because Elysha once told me that it was her favorite building in the world, and I wanted to choose a place that would be around for a long, long time.
2. Say something great.
I didn’t exactly hit a homerun with my actual proposal, but it was serviceable. The police officer was unexpected, but it worked out fine. You can read the text of my proposal (and the description of the actual event) here.
3. Put the ring on her finger.
Elysha actually took the ring from me and placed it on her finger herself, but this made sense given we were perched on the landing of a busy staircase in a room filled with hundreds of people. No sense risking one of us dropping the ring while I was trying to slide it on her finger.
4. THEN eat.
We had lunch at Ruby Foos with the 25 or so friends who came into New York to witness the proposal, followed by a stroll through Manhattan to Rockefeller Center to see the famed Christmas tree.
But this level of extravagance is certainly not required. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the kitchen with your fiancée following the proposal can be just as sweet.
Just keep the damn ring out of the peanut butter.
Chessboxing is an actual thing. If only it had been a thing in 1988.
I am a founding member of the Blackstone Millville Regional Junior Senior High School chess club.
Quite an accomplishment.
I checked with my alma mater. The chess club no longer exists. Honestly, I’m not sure if it even continued to exist during my time at the school. But for a brief period of time, possibly a couple months, there was a chess club at my high school, and I played a role in its establishment.
As you can imagine, my membership in this esteemed organization did little by way of helping me get girls.
I also played chess with my unorthodox high school French teacher, Mr. Maroney, who I have written about before. I played more chess with Mr. Maroney than any other human being on the planet.
I also taught my wife to play chess while on our honeymoon in Bermuda.
We’re wild and crazy that way.
I teach my students to play chess today. They love the game. Many contact me long after they have left my classroom to inform me that they continue to play today.
Chess has been a game that I have enjoyed for a long time, but I would’ve loved it more, and perhaps done better with the ladies, had chessboxing existed when I was younger.
Yes. You heard it right.
Chessboxing.
From a New York Times piece on chessboxing:
Opponents alternate rounds between chess and boxing, between a cerebral pursuit and a savage one. They will win by checkmate or knockout, or the judges’ scorecards.
Just imagine:
Advance a pawn or two. Capture a knight. Punch your opponent in the head. Advance another pawn. Protect a rook with a bishop. Punch your opponent in the head again.
This is a sport made for me.
It’s not often that I feel like I was born at the wrong time in history, but this might be one of those rare times.
June 10, 2013
The Moth: Parental Love in Absentia
The following is a story that I told at a Moth StorySLAM at The Bitter End in New York City in December of 2012. The theme of the night was Aftermath.
I told a story about how my view of my parents has changed since having children of my own.
I was fortunate enough to finish in first place that night.
The opening number of the 2013 Tony Awards was one of the most astounding performances I have ever seen. You must watch.
My wife sent me an email with a title that read:
Amazing. Worth watching.
She was referencing the opening number of the Tony Awards, and while I was sure that it was lovely, I suspected that most of her adoration was the result of her crush on Neil Patrick Harris.
I was wrong. Her title was truly an understatement.
Even if you have never been to a Broadway show and have no interest in the theater, this must be seen. The amount of work that went into this performance, the astounding level of talent required to pull it off and the sheer courage displayed in attempting this mind-numbing, heart-stopping opening number of the Tony Awards on live television is breathtaking.
Sincerely. It is a performance for the ages.
My favorite part of the video is the open-mouthed expressions of the Broadway elite as they watch Neil Patrick Harris do what seems to me, and perhaps even to them, impossible.
June 9, 2013
But I love my job!
The Wall Street Journal published its annual list of Best and Worst Jobs of 2013. The lists consists of 200 jobs, ranked from best to worst based on five criteria: physical demands, work environment, income, stress, and hiring outlook.
I currently have three jobs.
I teach fifth grade at a public elementary school.
I am the author of three novels, a rock opera and an assortment of short stories, poems and essays. A fourth novel will publish in the fall of 2014.
I own and operate a mobile DJ company.
My jobs do not rank well on the Wall Street Journal’s list:
93. Elementary school teacher
156. Author
179. Disc jockey
The average rank of all three jobs is 142.
Despite the rankings, I am quite happy with my career choices. When I was a little boy, I dreamed of becoming a teacher and an author. Both of those dreams have come true.
I stumbled into my disc jockey career thanks to a friend’s dissatisfaction with his wedding DJ and years spent planning and hosting college parties together. Not surprising, it is the least favorite of my three jobs and we are in the process of winding our company down, but I must admit that it wasn’t a bad way to spend the last 16 years.
As a teenager, I also dreamed of becoming an attorney and went so far as to take the LSAT a few years ago (and did quite well), but I ultimately decided that a career in law was not for me. Just because I like arguing with strangers and seek out confrontation at every turn doesn’t mean I would be effective in the world of jurisprudence.
Attorneys also ranked 117 on the list. Apparently I’m not missing much.
I am also a part-time non-religious minister who officiates at wedding and baby naming ceremonies. Since I’ve only worked in this capacity about a dozen times in my life, I don’t think of it as a career, even though I am paid for my services.
Clergy members ranked 110 on the list. Right in my apparent wheelhouse in terms of job satisfaction.
Always looking for a new challenge, I have other jobs that remain in their infancy or haven’t been launched at all. These include:
Life coach
Public speaker
Efficiency expert
Professional Best Man
Grave site visitor
Double date companion
Professional poker player
College professor
In regards to these possible future careers:
I’ve been paid for my services as life coach by two clients, though both are currently inactive.
I’m a member of the Macmillan Speakers Bureau and am actively seeking public speaking opportunities. In addition to being a storyteller and a four time Moth StorySLAM champion, I have also served as a commencement speaker, a convocation speaker, an inspirational speaker and I recently emceed the West Hartford Mayor’s Charity Ball. I have been paid very little for my public speaking appearances to date, but my hope is that this will change in time.
I have been offered the position of Professional Best Man on three separate occasions, but distance has prevented me from taking any of these jobs.
The illegalization of online poker in the United States put a huge dent in my poker playing career, but before poker was taken off the Internet, I earned enough to pay for our honeymoon in poker profits and am hoping that recently proposed legislation might bring back my poker playing career to the levels it once enjoyed.
I have been offered positions as adjunct professor at local colleges on a part-time basis in the field of education, but my goal is to become a professor of creative writing. I have yet to find or be offered that position.
The positions of efficiency expert, double date companion and grave site visitor remain little more than dreams to this point, though I have not given up hope.
It’s also important to note that none of the jobs on this secondary list even appear in the Wall Street Journal’s list.
Perhaps I am simply ahead of my time.
June 8, 2013
Negotiator in training
“Daddy, before I tell you that I had an accident, will you be mad if I tell you that I had an accident?”
My daughter is very much a negotiator, even at the age of four, but her ability to withhold information for strategic purposes is still lacking.
What is your most outdated device?
Our most outdated gadget is our television, a 42-inch Toshiba projection television from 2002. It’s a behemoth. Tall, deep and wide, it takes up an enormous chunk of real estate in our back room.
Even worse, it’s standard definition (keeping my friends from ever coming over the house to watch sports) and isn’t equipment to connect to the Internet for streaming purposes. Instead, we continue to receive our Netflix subscription by mail in the form of DVDs.
The only other television in the house is in our bedroom. It’s a 27-inch tube television that is at least 15 years old.
I’d like to purchase a new television that’s equipped for this century, but my problem is twofold:
1. My old television works just fine, and my wife and I watch less than an hour of television a day on average. It’s difficult to justify the purchase of something we use so infrequently.
2. We are always thinking about moving to a slightly bigger home, and I’m afraid that the television we purchase will be too large or too small for the room that it might someday occupy.
So we wait.
We will either move to a new house and leave this monstrosity of a television behind, or it will finally stop working, forcing me to finally purchase a new one.
For now, my television remains a relic of a time when the only means of bringing a television signal into your home was through a cable box, and flat screen TVs could only be found in science fiction movies.
