Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 423

I am not a Johnny Manziel fan but…

I don’t like Johnny Manziel. It’s not his fault. I’m genetically predisposed to not like people who come from privileged backgrounds. I’m able to overcome this genetic flaw if I get to know the person, but it isn’t easy.

Stull, this play is amazing.

Male lions aren’t lazy after all. They are actually more efficient than female lions.

There was a time when scientists believed that the female lion was the hunter and the male lion lounged around all day, waiting for the female to bring home the bacon.

This assumption was made based upon scientific observation. It was not hard to see.

Female lions chased and killed their prey, and male lions did not.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about this.

Part of me was annoyed with the male lion for disparaging our sex by acting like a lazy, good-for-nothing freeloader. The lion is supposed to be the King of the Jungle, but he more closely resembled Archie Bunker.

But another part of my was impressed by the male lion’s ability to avoid hard work and allow someone else to do it for him. As a person who believes in delegating responsibility whenever possible, the male lion’s approach to hunting appealed to my ongoing desire to increase productivity.

Except he wasn’t exactly writing a novel, building a home or otherwise using his time wisely. He was rolling around in mud. Ideally strolling. Splashing in rivers. Napping. 

I despise napping.

So I was conflicted. I wasn’t sure how I should feel about the male lion.

Not anymore.

Further research into lion behavior, conducted partly through the use of infrared drones, has discovered that male lions are just as active when it comes to hunting as female lions.

They simply hunt for efficiently.

Rather than chasing antelope on the savannah under the hot African sun, male lions hunt at night by locating a game trail and positioning themselves in an ideal spot for ambushing unsuspecting prey. They use considerably fewer calories in this type of hunting but are just as effective as finding and killing their prey as their female counterparts.

It turns out that male lions are actually better hunters than female lions.

It would be ridiculous for me to find joy in this newfound knowledge. Aside from both being male, lions and I have nothing in common.

Still, I do.

The King of the Jungle is once again deserving of that title.

Even better male lions have embraced my philosophy of life completely:

Accomplish as much as possible, as efficiently as possible.

Watch The Rolling Stones write “Sympathy for the Devil”

I have always wanted to sit quietly beside a writer and watch him or her work for a few days. I’m fascinated by a writer’s process, and I often wonder if writers are applying their craft in the same way I do.

Actually, I’ve wanted to do the same thing for editors.

Are they applying their red pen with the sinister grins and diabolical laughter that I envision?

Probably.

This video doesn’t show the kind of writing that I had in mind, but it might be better. A documentarian filmed The Rolling Stones as they were writing “Sympathy for the Devil” and captured their process in full.

I’ve watched it twice already. Completely fascinating. 

Naissance de “Sympathy for the devil ” (one+one… by cinocheproduction

Lessons from another evening at The Moth: Storytellers’ reactions to a loss can differ greatly. Occasionally they suck.

On Monday some friends and I attended a Moth StorySLAM at the Bitter End in New York. After winning 6 StorySLAMs in a row, my luck finally ran out. I was chosen to tell my story first and finished in third place. 

Still, I told a good story about the time I moved my childhood bedroom from the second floor of our home to the basement without my parents knowing, and anytime I am able to take the stage and tell a story, I am pleased.

An odd thing happened when telling my story:

At the end of my story, when my initially amusing story turned a little sad, the audience continued to laugh. As I described how my parents took three days to realize that I had moved to the basement and what this meant in terms of the amount of parental attention I was receiving, the audience continued to laugh out loud.

It was strange. 

Perhaps this was the result of going first. Maybe the audience, which was comprised of many first time Moth attendees (it was a holiday week), didn’t know what to expect.

Or perhaps my story was so sad that it was funny.

Or maybe my delivery was simply off.

Audience members later told me how touching my story was, and a couple admitted to getting misty-eyed near the end, but the great majority thought the whole thing was hilarious. 

Whatever the reason, it’s more than a little weird getting a little choked up on stage while the audience continues to laugh.

I suggested later on to a friend that I might be willing to give up my right pinkie finger if I never have to go first at another StorySLAM. Ehile this might be a little crazy, it’s only a little crazy. 

A few thoughts about storytelling that I took away from the night:

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One of the best things about becoming a storyteller has been the number of friends who have subsequently taken a stage to tell a story as well. I invited Bill and Cheryl to their first Moth StorySLAM last spring, and in the fall, Bill took the stage at Speak Up to tell a story. On Monday night, he took the stage and told his first story for The Moth.

He did great.

Since I started storytelling in July of 2011, I’ve had many of my friends take the stage at Speak Up and tell their stories, and a handful of them have taken the plunge and told stories for The Moth as well. It’s been rewarding to be able to introduce something new to my circle of friends and then watch them find the courage to try it as well.

I assume they must be thinking something like:

“If that idiot can do it, maybe I can, too.”

I’m so glad to have opened up this world to so many people.

Along similar lines, my wife and I produce our own storytelling show here in Hartford called Speak Up, and in addition to the joy entertaining audiences, it’s been incredibly rewarding to give fledgling storytellers, who may not be  ready to make the trip to New York City to tell a story at a place like The Moth, an opportunity to tell a story and hone their craft. Watching someone take the stage for the first time in their lives and bare their soul is an amazing thing to watch. I feel fortunate to have brought this opportunity to so many people already.

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Storytellers have a variety of reactions to the competitive element of The Moth. Most experienced storytellers thrive on the competition, and at least a few (like me) would much prefer to tell stories in a competitive format.

Eliminate the pressure of competition and it simply isn’t the same.

But because this is storytelling, the judging is fairly subjective, and the judges are audience members who receive a few minutes of instruction before the competition begins. Despite these factors, the scoring is almost always well done. I believe that if one of the top three stories of the night wins, the judges have done their well, and that has happened at every StorySLAM that I have ever attended.

But when a storyteller doesn’t win, reactions vary.

While I am often disappointed, I have always been an analytical, reflective,  highly self-critical individual. As soon as I step off the stage, I begin a mental analysis of my performance, and as the scores are announced, I compare these numbers to that instant analysis. I will spend hours after the StorySLAM evaluating my performance and comparing the judges scores to my analysis, and when I arrive home, I will record the results of my performance in a spreadsheet along with notes on the performance.

It’s a serious spreadsheet.

I also seek feedback from friends who have attended the performance, poking and prodding them for as much honesty as possible.

Though I am disappointed when I don’t win, I don’t think I should always win, and I always use the results to improve.

I don’t get angry. I get better.

In fact, the only time when this analytical reaction is muddied for me is when I have to tell my story first. Winning from the first position is almost impossible, and judges often assign lower scores to the first storyteller in order to give themselves some flexibility for upcoming storytellers.

As a result, analyzing scores from the first position is difficult. I’ve had to tell my story from the first position three times in my life, and I have finished those competitions in second, third and third place.

Could I have won any of those StorySLAMs had I not gone first?

Maybe? I really can’t tell.

Other than the incongruous first position results, my reaction to a loss is an obsessive desire to improve based upon the feedback provided.

Most storytellers are just happy to have the chance to take the stage and are relieved that they didn’t embarrass themselves by falling apart in front of 300 strangers. Many consider the opportunity to tell a story reward enough. They care nothing about the scoring.

I don’t understand this sentiment, but I respect it.

There are storytellers, however, who become angry, despondent or belligerent when they lose or when their scores don’t reflect what they believe they deserved.

There are not enjoyable people to spend time with after their performance.

In the past, storytellers have told me that they can’t stand the subjectivity of the scoring and never  want to take the stage again.

Storytellers have told me that they become depressed when they don’t score well and require a great deal of time to overcome a loss.

The most common negative reaction to a performance is to blame the judges and accuse them of incompetence. Storytellers will accuse the judges of favoritism based upon sex or race. They will complain that the judges favor a particular type of story that they don’t have to tell. They will claim that judges favor crowd favorites who who take the stage often and who they have seen before. They will argue that judges don’t understand the rules of the competition or have misinterpreted the rules. They will assert that you need to be funny rather than simply a good storyteller in order to win a StorySLAM.

None of this is true, but I understand that in the heat of competition, it’s difficult to remain unemotional.

Still, I find this reaction distasteful at best. Blaming the judges may be an effective way of avoiding the reality of losing, but it only serves to make the storyteller look petty and insecure. It will also never help the storyteller to improve.

In my experience, it is also a decidedly male reaction. 

There is also a thankfully tiny number of storytellers who, upon losing, will accuse the winning storyteller of telling an untrue story. They may hint at this belief by questioning details of the story or come right out and accuse the storyteller of fabrication.

While I am sure that there have been storytellers who invent stories for the stage, I have never heard a story that sounded untrue, and the thought that a storyteller had done such a thing has never crossed my mind.

I find this particular reaction especially repugnant.

It is also decidedly male.

The Michael Jackson video game was a thing.

Sometimes you come across facts that you need to say aloud to as many people as possible because you just can’t believe that they are true.

Like this:

In 1988 and 1989, video game manufacturers released video games for the arcade, the computer and Sega’s video game platform based upon Michael Jackson’s film, Moonwalker, in which Michael Jackson must rescue kidnapped children from the evil Mr. Big while incorporating synthesized versions of his greatest hits and many of his classic dance moves.

I played a lot of video games in the 1980s and 1990s, both in arcades and at home.

Moonwalker was never one of them.

Idaho acknowledges that the death penalty kills innocent people.

I am opposed to the death penalty for many reasons, but chief among them is the possibility that innocent people are mistakenly put to death.

As a person who was arrested and tried for a crime he did not commit, I understand the possibility of the criminal justice system making an error all too well.

To date, 143 people in America have been sentenced to death, only to be released later on when new evidence exonerated them of their crimes. These men and women spent an average of 10 years on death row before being granted their freedom.

Death penalty proponents don’t seem to care about these statistics. Perhaps they think that the chances of being mistakenly convicted of a crime are so low that they don’t need to worry about it.

Sure, it happened to 143 people so far (that we know if), but not me.

They also argue that the system is working. Though innocent men and women have been sentenced to death, no innocent person has been executed.

This is probably not true.

The Death Penalty Information Center has published a list of 10 inmates “executed but possibly innocent”. At least 39 executions are claimed to have been carried out in the U.S. in the face of evidence of innocence or serious doubt about guilt.

The idea that no innocent person has been executed in this country, based upon the exonerations that have taken place so far, is naïve at best.

All this leads me to a recent discovery:

Under Idaho law, three crimes are punishable by death:

First degree murder with aggravating factors
Aggravated kidnapping
Perjury causing execution of an innocent person

Doesn’t that third crime all but acknowledge that the possibility of executing an innocent person exists?

How can the death penalty continue to exist in a place where the state admits to the possibility of killing an innocent citizen?

New Year’s resolutions can change your life forever. Don’t let pundits tell you otherwise.

As the New Year approached, I saw and read many articles on why New Year’s resolutions never work and are best avoided.

This, of course, is nonsense.

New Year’s resolutions, and goal setting in general, work for those who are actually motivated to achieve the results and work hard and diligently to realize these results. 

Since 2010, I have been posting my resolutions on my blog and charting my progress month by month. While my New Year’s resolution success rate stands at 49% (I actually think this good considering the loftiness of the goals I set for myself), I think one of the more significant impacts of my New Year’s resolutions has been the lifestyle changes that have resulted from the pursuit of these goals. 

Here are a few examples:

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In 2010 I resolved to floss every day. I have not missed a day of flossing since. It’s simply become something I do.

Incidentally, if you would like to start flossing, I suggest that you place the floss in the shower. Once you start flossing regularly, it takes about 30 seconds to floss well. Placing it in the shower creates incentive:

Who would pass up an extra 30 seconds in the shower in order to be productive and extend your life (people who floss live longer)?

I gave this advice at a book talk once (in response to a question about how routines make me more productive), and about six months later, a woman wrote to me to say that while she appreciated everything about my talk, the advice on flossing had changed her life. She’s flossed every day since my talk, and her gums have never been so healthy and pain free.

It’s not hard. You, too, can be a dental nerd like me.

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I also established the goal of losing 10 pounds in 2010, and I have since lost 45 pounds and entirely changed the way that I live.

I exercise almost every day.
I know the calorie count of almost every food item that I eat.
I’ve permanently reduced meal portions.
I look better, feel better and have more energy than ever before. 

That single goal in 2010 has changed the way I eat, exercise and live ever since.

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In 2011, I resolved to do at least 50 push-ups and 50 sit-ups a day. While the conditions of this goal have changed over the years (more individual repetitions with days of rest in between), sit-ups and push-ups have become a part of my daily routine.

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In an effort to reduce my cholesterol, I resolved to eat three servings of oatmeal a week in 2011. Since then I continue to eat at least that much oatmeal each week as part of my work day lunch. It’s a perfect midday meal: Easy to make, filling, low in calories and delicious. And as a result, my cholesterol has remained within the guidelines that my doctor set for me.  

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In 2011, I resolved to participate in a Moth event as a storyteller, either at a live show or on their radio broadcast. Since my performance in my first Moth StorySLAM in July of 2011, storytelling has become an enormous part of my life. I’ve performed in 25 Moth events since then, including for a Mainstage audience of 1,500 people in Boston last year. I’ve been featured on The Moth Radio Hour, a nationally syndicated radio show, as well as their weekly podcast.

All of this began with a single performance on a single Moth stage.

 

I’ve also performed at a number of other storytelling shows in New York, Boston and Hartford and spoken at two TED conferences.

In 2013, my wife and I co-founded Speak Up, our own storytelling organization. We produced three shows in 2013 and hope to produce twice that many in 2014. This month I also begin my first series of storytelling workshops with prospective storytellers.

That simple 2011 goal of telling one story at one Moth event has blossomed into one of the most important parts of my creative life.

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In 2o13 I resolved to meditate for at least five minutes every day. This has become part of my morning routine that I will likely continue for the rest of my life.

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I also resolved in 2013 to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable. I achieved this goal and find myself with a newfound willingness to try foods, even if I expect to hate them. This has been an enormous change for me, and it is one that I can see carrying on throughout my life.

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Don’t let anyone fool you. New Year’s resolutions can change your life, for the upcoming year and sometimes forever, if you actually apply yourself.

My advice:

Establish measureable goals.
Create a plan to accomplishment them.
Check on progress regularly.  
Remind yourself repeatedly about what your life would look like if you achieved your goals. Envision this life.
Also remind yourself that most people fail to accomplish their New Year’s resolutions, and that you are better than most people.

Anatomy of a possibly pathetic New Year’s Eve

There was a time (and perhaps there will be again) when my friends and I hosted some enormous New Year’s Eve parties, complete with keg stands, dancing and police raids.

This year, my New Year’s Eve did not resemble those days of yore in the slightest. As I look back, I’m not sure if I am pleased or horrified by the way I spent my New Year’s Eve and the first few hours of 2014.

December 31, 2014
6:00 PM

Friends arrive for dinner. I spend much of the evening giving notes to my friend on the screenplay for his latest pilot and taunt him about my recently discovered IMDB page. We also discuss plans for my screenplay, my  golf memoir and the revisions of my latest novel.

9:00 PM

Friends leave to put their children (and my friend) to bed. Elysha and I read books to Clara before putting her to bed.

9:30 PM

Elysha and I sit across from each other, pecking away on our laptops. She threatens to go to bed (she’s sick) but stays up for about an hour, poking around on the Internet. I resume work on my manuscript. It is due to my editor on Friday, and I have been obsessively honing it for more than a week.

10:30 PM

Elysha finally goes to bed. I continue work on the manuscript.

January 1, 2014
12:00 AM

The cuckoo clock signals midnight. 2014 has arrived. I drink champagne from the bottle and ring in the New Year alone. Even the dog is asleep.

12:05 AM

I resume work on the manuscript.

1:45 AM

I finally go to bed.

2:30 AM

Charlie wakes up, crying. I rock him back to sleep.

3:00 AM

Back to bed.

6:00 AM

Charlie wakes up for good. We eat breakfast, empty dishwasher, sweep and mop floor and play with trucks.

7:30 AM

I bring Charlie upstairs to Elysha. I walk the dog.

8:00 AM

I resume my work on the manuscript.

9:30 AM

Family leaves for brunch with friends. I resume work on the manuscript.

When my family arrives home around 1:30 PM, I finally stop working for a while and spend some leisure time with them. I ride scooters around the house with my daughter, fly my remote controlled helicopter, crawl around on the floor with my son, eat dessert for lunch and take down the Christmas tree.

Even that isn’t exactly leisure.

While I’m pleased with the work that I accomplished thus far in 2014, I’m not sure if New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day were the best times to get this work done.

You only get one New Year’s Eve a year. I’m not sure if ringing in the New Year alone, sitting at the laptop, drinking champagne from the bottle, is the best way to spend it.

Perhaps next year I will be less… I’m not sure.

You tell me the word.

New Year’s resolutions: 2014

The following are my New Years resolutions for 2014. As always, I reserve the right to alter the list for up to one week after posting.

Suggestions are still welcome.

1. Don’t die.

Recommended by a reader a couple years ago, this continues to be an excellent resolution.

2. Lose ten pounds.

I lost ten pounds last year, and since I began losing weight four years ago, I’m lost a total of 45 pounds. I’m within 15 pounds of my high school weight, when I was a legitimate athlete. I’m hoping to get back to that point someday soon.

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a week.

Unchanged from last year, it remains an excellent goal.

4. Launch at least one new podcast.

Author Out Loud, our first podcast, will launch in January. My goal is to launch a second podcast, dealing with storytelling,  education or parenting, later in the year.

5. Complete my sixth novel before the Ides of March.

Though my sixth novel will likely sell before it’s actually finished, I will eventually need to finish writing it. April 15 will give me my April vacation to complete it if not before.

6. Complete my seventh novel.

I plan on writing another novel in 2014 as well. This book may or may not be started already.

7. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.

I failed to achieve this goal last year, not because of rejection as much as my inability to pull a manuscript together. I will rectify this in 2014.

8. Complete a book proposal for my memoir.

I have a large chunk of this book written, but it needs to be re-written. I will spend 2014 writing 3-5 excellent chapters plus a proposal.

9. Host at least one Shakespeare Circle.

I intend on hosting an evening of Shakespeare. Friends will join us around the table to read a Shakespearean play aloud, with each person assuming a different role. I already have a group of people who have agreed to attend.

10. Write a screenplay.

This is a challenge that I would like to undertake after befriending a screenwriter and becoming a fan of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting.

11. Write at least three short stories.

I wrote three short stories in 2013 and would like to write at least three more in 2014 with an eye toward eventually publishing a collection.

12. Write a collection of poetry using existing and newly written poems.

I have many poems from my college and post college days that I like a lot. I’d like to revise them and write some new poetry in order to complete a collection by the end of the year.

13. Become certified to teach high school English by completing one required class.

I took one of the two required classes in 2013. I’d like to finish the certification by completing one more course.

14. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a physical newspaper.

I published several Op-Ed pieces in online outlets last year, and while I plan to continue this, I would like to get at least one piece in a physical newspaper while they still exist.

15. Attend at least 10 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

In 2013 I attended 16 Moth events. Ten seems like a reasonable number for 2014.

16. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I’ve won 10 Moth StorySLAMs since I started competing in 2011, include 7 out of 13 last year. I’ve competed in three GrandSLAM championships but have yet to win one.

17. Give yoga an honest try.

I failed to complete this goal in 2013.

18. De-clutter the basement.

I made significant progress in the basement in 2013. I would like to complete the work in 2014.

19. De-clutter the shed

I made significant progress in the basement in 2013. I would like to complete the work in 2014.

20. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2013.

I failed to complete this goal in 2013.

21. Produce a total of 6 Speak Up storytelling events.

My wife and I launched our storytelling venture in 2013 and produced a total of three shows. We’d like to double this number in 2014.

22. Deliver a TED Talk.

I spoke at two TED conferences in 2013. I’d like to add to my total in 2014.

23. Set a new personal best in golf.

My lowest score for nine holes is a 45, and my lowest score for 18 holes is 95. I’d like to improve on either score in 2014.

24. Find a way to keep my wife home for one more year with our children.

My wife has been staying home with our children for the last four years, working part time when Clara entered preschool and Charlie was not yet born. I would love to give her and my son one more year at home before she returns to work fulltime. In order to make this possible, I will have to find a way to earn enough money (through writing and/or other sources) and cut expenses for one more year.

25. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Resolution update: 2013 in review

In an effort to hold myself accountable, I post the progress of my yearly goals at the end of each month on this blog.

The following are the results through December, and thus through the end of 2013.

I managed to completed 14 out of the 23 goals that I set for myself back in January for a 61 % completion rate. This is actually fair good in comparison to previous years.

In the three years that I have been charting my goals for the year, my completion rates have been 30% (2012), 62% (2011) and 44% (2010).

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1. Don’t die.

Done. 

2. Lose ten pounds.

I had hoped to lose another ten pounds after reaching this goal back in June, but no luck. 

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

I missed less than 5% of the required days in 2013.

4. Launch at least one podcast.

Though it has not been officially launched, we are ready to go and will have our first episode online in January.

5. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

Losing my flute made this a tough goal to reach.

6. Complete my fifth novel before the Ides of March.

Done.

7. Complete my sixth novel.

The first 60,000 words of my sixth novel are in the hands of my agent and being pitched for sale now.

8. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.

Failed for the second year in a row.

On a positive note, I wrote a new children’s book this week, and I’m excited about it.  

9. Complete a book proposal for my memoir.

A golf memoir was written in 2013. I’ve also written the first five chapters of my originally planned memoir.  

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

One new post in December completed the 2013 goal.

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes.

I remain one class and $50 away from achieving certification. Since I have no intention of leaving my elementary school within the next two years, I put this goal on hold in 2013.   

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

I published three pieces in the Huffington Post and two pieces in Beyond the Margins. I had several pieces rejected from The Hartford Courant and The New York Times. Based upon the readership reached via these online platforms, I’m calling this a success.

13. Attend at least eight Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I told stories in a total of 15 Moth events in 2013, including my first Mainstage show and a GrandSLAM. I competed in 13 StorySLAMs and won 8 of them.  

14. Locate a playhouse to serve as the next venue for The Clowns.

The script, the score and the soundtrack remain in the hands of a New York City playhouse.  

15. Give yoga an honest try.

Failed for the second year in a row.

16. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

I missed less than 10% of the required days in 2013.

17. De-clutter the garage.

Done.

18. De-clutter the basement.

Failed for the second year in a row.

19. De-clutter the shed

Failed.

20. Reduce the amount of soda I am drinking by 50%.

Though my soda intake has been reduced significantly over the past two months, I have no way of verifying the 50% success rate, nor do I think I achieved the level of success required.

21. Try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable.

I tried two new cheeses in December, completing the goal.  

22. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2013.

Failed for the second year in a row.

23. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

I forgot to post progress for the month of October. Still, I’m counting it.