Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 34
November 1, 2024
Resolution update: October 2024
Every month, I report the progress of my yearly goals to monitor progress (or the lack thereof) and hold myself accountable.
The following are the October 2024 results.PERSONAL FITNESS1. Don’t die.
I’ve been battling bronchitis for most of the month. It’s not deadly, but it’s a giant pain in the ass.
Almost defeated.
Still alive.
2. Lose 10 pounds.
I have maintained my gain of four pounds, largely thanks to copious amounts of cough drops.
3. Do a targeted push-up workout at least four times per week.
Despite my illness, I completed this goal by doing the bare minimum each week.
4. Complete 100 sit-ups four times per week.
Despite my illness, I completed this goal by doing the bare minimum each week.
5. Complete three one-minute planks four times a week.
Done.
6. Cycle for at least five days every week.
Done. Thanks to travel and illness, I only rode the bike for 21 days in October, but that meets the goal.
I’ve recorded 289 rides in 305 days in 2024.
7. Meet or beat the USGA’s average golfing handicap for men of 14.2.
My current handicap is 25.2, down from 25.5 last month. Still a high number but improving.
But I’ve come to realize something important via research:
The average male golfer’s handicap isn’t 14.2 because most golfers don’t maintain a handicap and those who do tend to be a minority of better, more serious golfers who are active members at country clubs.
I’ve set a goal that may be unrealistic.
WRITING CAREER8. Complete my eighth novel.
I continue to work on the book based on the editor’s feedback. I am making excellent progress. It was supposed to be done at the end of August, but I am not quite finished.
Very close, though.
9. Write my next Storyworthy book.
My next book will not be a storytelling book. My agent and I have decided upon a novel instead.
That said, I have another storytelling book written in first-draft form, and I’m wrapping it up. It won’t go to the publisher soon, but it’s done.
10. Write, edit, and revise my golf memoir.
Work has begun on adding to and revising. As golf season ends in a month — or two or three — this book will keep me company through the winter months.
11. Write my “Advice for Kids” book.
Excellent progress made. A rough draft should be complete by the end of the year.
2. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
I’m writing children’s books about Connecticut’s infamous October 2011 snowstorm, the gypsy moth invasion of New England in 1981, and the lullaby “Rock a By Baby.”
The rough drafts of all are complete. I’ve read one of them to my class for feedback. I’ll finalize them in the final months of 2024.
I have three other ideas I’m beginning to work on, too.
13. Write about my childhood in partnership with my sister, Kelli, at least twice per month.
Kelli and I spent a day together in February but forgot to discuss this topic. Eight months later, we still need to discuss it.
14. Launch a Substack.
Substack is forthcoming, I think. I’m still unsure if I want to put anything I write behind a paywall.
But I’m discussing monetizing with experts, and I’m enrolled in a course on managing Substacks effectively.
15. Write a new solo show.
All the work on this project is done in my head since I’ve never written down anything I say onstage, so I don’t have much to show for my efforts, but I am working hard nonetheless.
I’ve accumulated all of the stories I plan to tell as a part of the show, and I have them ordered properly. I’m now crafting transitions and considering other elements in the show.
16. Write a musical.
No progress.
17. Submit at least three Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
Done!
Three so far in 2024. All rejected.
I also submitted all three to the Washington Post. Also rejected.
18. Write at least four letters to my father.
One letter was written in October.
Two letters written in 2024 so far.
19. Write 150 letters.
Done!
I wrote 24 letters in October. The recipients included people who assisted in my Eagle Scout project, students, and friends.
I’ve written a total of 176 letters in 2024.
20. Write to at least six authors about a book I love.
No letters were written in October.
I’ve written letters to authors Andrew Wilkinson and Joe Rocco so far.
I have a list of five authors to write to before the end of the year.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
21. Perform a new solo show.
Initially, I planned on performing at TheaterWorks in Hartford in November, but complications with their scheduling have pushed that back to April 2025.
22. Complete the re-recording of Storyworthy For Business.
Recording complete! I need to do some voice-over, and then I’m done!
23. Record and produce at least two new Storyworthy courses.
I produced and sold another webinar in October, bringing the total to four in 2024.
We’ll also carve up the new Storyworthy for Business course into smaller, separate courses, extending this goal considerably.
24. Produce a total of six Speak Up storytelling events in 2024.
Done!
My “Stories Sell” book launch event — complete with lots of stories and special guests — took place on October 5.
Six shows have been produced so far in 2024. They include:
“Matt and Jeni Are Unprepared” on March 2 at TheaterWorks in Hartford.“Sportsing” on March 16 at the Connecticut Museum of Culture and History“School” on May 3 at Sedgwick Middle School in West Hartford, CTSpeak Up – CPA Prison Arts show on June 5 at The Pond House in West Hartford, CTGreat Hartford Story Slam on July 27 at Hartford Flavor Company“Stories Sell” book on October 5 at the Connecticut Museum of Culture and HistoryWe also have the following show scheduled for 2024:
November 8: “Matt and Jeni Are Unprepared” at the Playhouse on Park in West Hartford, CTYou should come! Tickets here.
25. Submit pitches to at least three upcoming TEDx events, hoping to be accepted by one.
No progress.
I spoke at TEDxBU on April 20. It went very well, and the recording should be online soon.
26. Attend at least eight Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
Done! I attended one Moth StorySLAM in October in NYC.
My name was not pulled from the hat.
A total of 13 Moth events so far in 2024.
27. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
Done. I won:
Boston StorySLAM on June 25Boston StorySLAM on February 27NYC StorySLAM on July 17I’ve won three of five StorySLAMs where I’ve told a story so far this year.
28. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I competed in the Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in March and placed second.
I should’ve won, but I think that a lot.
29. Pitch “You’re a Monster, Matthew Dicks” to at least a dozen theaters and/or directors in 2024.
I’ve pitched “You’re a Monster, Matthew Dicks” to two theaters so far in 2024.
I performed the show on March 30 at the Mopco Improv Theater in Schenectady, New York.
30. Produce at least 24 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
No progress.
31. Perform stand-up at least six times.
I’ve performed stand-up twice in 2024 — both shows in Ottowa, Canada.
I have a stand-up open mic planned for December, but this will only get me halfway to the goal.
32. Pitch three stories to This American Life.
One story has been pitched thus far.
33. Submit at least three pitches to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast.
No progress.
34. Send a newsletter to readers at least 50 times.
Done!
At least seven newsletters were written in October, bringing the total in 2024 to 51.
HOME35. Organize the basement.
Progress continues but has slowed.
Since school began, Elysha has been less speedy about sorting through bins with me.
The goal:
Organize all bins in the basement in a logical, identifiable orderEliminate anything no longer wantedStore Elysha’s classroom materials in an organized manner36. Clear the garage of unwanted items.
Elysha’s long-forgotten classroom detritus is the last pile to be eliminated. She has begun bringing the bins to school, and this project is nearly complete.
Two bins to go.
FAMILY/FRIENDS37. Text or call my brother or sister once per month.
Done.
38. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done.
39. Take at least one photo with Elysha and me each week.
Done!
40. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress.
41. I will not comment positively or negatively about the physical appearance of any person save my wife and children to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done.
42. Surprise Elysha at least 12 times.
Done!
Four surprises in October:
I sent flowers to Elysha and her class just because.I located and surprised Elysha with a 100-Grand bar — one of her three favorite candy bars.Tickets to “The Shark Is Broken” at the Playhouse on ParkTickets to “Jekyll and Hyde” at The Hartford StageA total of 14 surprises in 2024 so far:
Tickets to “Little Shop of Horrors” on BroadwayTickets to “Merrily We Go Along” on BroadwayTickets to “Tommy” on BroadwayCheesecake delivered to Elysha and her teammates during an especially challenging dayA surprise weekend spent in Rhode Island with friendsTickets to “The Outsiders ” on Broadway this monthA well-timed sweet teaA basket full of things Elysha lovesDinner on the tableFirst-class tickets to San FransiscoI sent flowers to Elysha and her class just because.I located and surprised Elysha with a 100-Grand bar — one of her three favorite candy bars.Tickets to “The Shark Is Broken” at the Playhouse on ParkTickets to “Jekyll and Hyde” at The Hartford Stage43. Play poker at least six times.
Done!
I’ve decided to count poker games with Charlie since they are serious affairs with candy at stake.
A total of seven games in 2024.
I’ve also scheduled a game with friends for October but failed to get enough players to make it happen.
I need better friends.
44. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
Done!
We spent one day together in October —eight so far.
MUSIC45. Memorize the lyrics to at least five favorite songs.
No progress in October. I need to find a song I want to know.
Memorized so far:
“Our Wonderful Lives” by Styx
“Come a Little Bit Closer” by Jay and the Young Americans
“Fox on the Run” by Sweet
46. Practice the flute at least four times per week.
I did not practice in October. I’ll blame it on bronchitis.
MISCELLANEOUS PROJECTS
47. Read at least 12 books.
I read two books in October, bringing my total to 24 in 2024.
“Of Mice and Men” by John Steinbeck
”Mediations” by Marcus Aurelius
Though I’ve finished “Meditations,” I will continue to read it, probably for the rest of my life.
I suggest you should, too.
I’m currently reading:
”Outlive” by Peter Attia and Bill Gifford
“The Power Broker” by Robert Caro
“Excellent Advice for Living” by Kevin Kelly
”Miracle and Wonder” by Bruce Headlam and Malcolm Gladwell
Books read in 2024 include:
“Upstream” by Chip Heath”Happy Pepple Are Annoying” by Josh Peck”Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama” by Bob Odenkirk“The Power of Regret” by Daniel Pink“Fluke” by Brian Klass“Misfit” by Gary Gulman“How to Weep in Public” by Jacqueline Novak“The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt“The Demon of Unrest” by Erik Larson”You Like It Darker” by Stephen King”A Short Guide to a Happy Life” by Anna Quindlen”How to Say Goodbye” by Wendy McNaughton”We’re All In This Together” by Tom Papa”Smart Brevity” by Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen, and Roy Schwartz”Hello Molly” by Molly Shannon“The Deerfield Massacre” by John Swanson”Duma Key” by Stephen King”Never Enough” by Andrew Wilkinson“Opposable Thumbs” by Matt Signer“The Splendid and the Vile” by Erik Larson”One the Edge” by Nate Silver“Green Lights” by Matthew McConaugheyMediations” by Marcus Aurelius“Of Mice and Men” by John Steinbeck”
48. Finish reading TIME’s 100 Best Children’s Books of All Time.
I did not read any of these books in October. I read plenty of picture books to my students, but no new ones from the list.
I may need to find or purchase some of the books on the list that are not in my school’s library. I also need to get my students to start hunting down these books in the school library.
I’ve read 36 books from the list thus far.
49. Unify my passwords using a password manager.
Done!
50. Learn to use QuickBooks for my business.
Done! Invoicing, payroll, and taxes are now all managed via QuickBooks. It’s much easier than I thought.
51. Rectify the heating problem in my studio.
I received estimates on this project, which is more than expected.
As a temporary measure, I purchased an electric radiator and plugged it into a Bluetooth outlet to turn the heat on before going downstairs, allowing the room to be warm when I entered.
This solution might be better than the thousands of dollars required to install heat, and it might be my permanent solution, depending on the possibility of finishing other parts of the basement.
My friend Chris may have an idea, too, so I’m holding off on declaring this complete.
52. Learn the names of every employee who works at my school.
In October, I could not find a colleague whose name I did not know. Someone may still be lurking in the building who I cannot identify, but I haven’t found them yet.
53. Assemble a complete toolbox.
Done! Completed as a part of the basement cleanup.
54. Edit our wedding footage into a movie of the day.
No progress. I’m actually looking forward to this job, but it will require me to learn how to edit videos using a new program.
Thankfully, I employ someone who knows exactly how to do this.
55. Memorize three new poems.
I memorized James Joyce’s “Tree” and Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken.”
I’m still working on Act V Scene 5, lines 18-28 of Macbeth.
56. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
Done!
Completed on October 12. A total of 42 volunteers plus my family joined me on a perfect day to complete this long-awaited project.
I’m hoping that completing the project eventually makes me feel better, as I had originally hoped.
57. Post my progress regarding these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.
October 31, 2024
A big, happy, forgotten party
On April 14, 1971, my great-grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding jubilee.
I learned this thanks to the newspaper. Someone sent me the article from The Call — the paper of record at the time —detailing the event, which I apparently attended at the ripe old age of two months.
It was quite the affair, with friends and relatives attending from as far away as Connecticut and Montreal.
I wish I could go back in time and witness the occasion and see my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles in that moment of joyous celebration.
Though the amount of second-hand smoke filling the room was probably unfathomable.
I grew up next door to my grandparents, and my great-grandfather lived with my grandfather — his son — until his death.
I remember Great Grandpa well. I have no recollection of my great grandmother, so she must’ve passed away sometimes after this party and before I became conscious of my surroundings. Great Grandpa remained permanently perched in a large chair in front of a table piled with papers, books, and magazines.
I’m sure he left the chair from time to time, but I have no memory of it.
I remember him as a sweet old man who was always willing to talk and loved to ask me questions.
I was thrilled when a friend sent me this newspaper article — featured on a historical Facebook page for my hometown of Blackstone, MA. Absent this newspaper clipping, I wonder if anyone remembers the party anymore. My father and his surviving brother and sister were likely in attendance, but do they recall a party that happened 53 years ago?
Therein lies the tenuous nature of life. Enormous effort and planning went into a glorious celebration that soon became irrelevant and forgotten.
I hate that.
I hate it so very much.
I’m happy my great-grandparents enjoyed what sounds like a splendid day of celebration.
I’m pleased to know I was in attendance, though I was less than 60 days old.
But I’m pained by how quickly it has faded into the past. How certainly it will someday be forgotten forever.
I yearn for more permanence in this world.
It’s probably why I tell so many stories.
October 30, 2024
Matt’s Rules of the World
If I were ruler of the world, I would immediately enact the following laws to improve the quality of life for all of humankind:
1. Drivers who pull their cars alongside each other in the middle of the road and roll down their windows to chat (thus blocking the road for sane people) shall have their licenses revoked for a period of no less than six months.
2. If a public building has two or more exterior doors, all such doors shall be unlocked and accessible at all times. If a patron walks into a door expecting it to open and finds it locked, the business in question shall pay the patron a fee of $50,000. If said patron bashes their head on the door in the process (a feat I have accomplished several times), ownership of the business shall immediately be transferred to the bloody-nosed patron.
Why install double doors if one of them is always locked?
3. Anyone wearing clothing containing a brand name or any other assemblage of words on the seat of their pants shall be required to remain seated for the rest of their natural life.
Side note:
If I really had my way of all things, I would remove brand names from all clothing items and accessories since the inclusion of these brand names is merely an indicator of the approximate cost of the item and serves no useful purpose other than to advertise for the clothing company while making people who require such monetary validation momentarily happy about their otherwise vacuous souls.
5. It is hereby forbidden to congratulate a friend on purchasing a vehicle if that friend is over twenty-one. When the purchase of an automobile becomes congratulatory-worthy, priorities must be re-examined immediately.
6. When going to the gym, one must drive to an open parking spot and park their car immediately. No more occupying the middle of the aisle, directional flashing, waiting for a spot closest to the door to open up. It’s the gym. Walk a little bit. Get some pre-exercise exercise.
9. Selfie sticks should be immediately banned. It’s bad enough that future archaeologists may judge our society based on things like The Bachelor, Antonin Scalia, and hipsters who wear slouchy winter hats in the summer. We cannot allow the selfie stick to also define us.
10. Movie theaters must be equipped with cellular jamming technology, effectively disabling the phones of every person within the theater at the film’s onset.
11. People who pay by check at the grocery store — thus slowing down the line considerably — must take a mandatory class on the safe and effective use of debit and credit cards before being allowed to eat any of their purchased groceries.
October 29, 2024
No one has anything in common anymore
According to recent survey data from YouTube Insights, 43 percent of Gen Z audiences are in a fandom that nobody in their personal life has ever even heard of.
Crazy. Right?
A Gen Z person is likely to love something — music, TV show, book, podcast — that none of their friends even know exists.
The monoculture is dead.
I suspect this might also be true — at least to a degree — for most people today. When most of the content we consume is on a streaming platform designed to offer us what we like most, the likelihood of being exposed to something outside our typical areas of interest declines considerably.
Thus, we find ourselves watching movies and television, listening to music and podcasts, and reading books that none of our friends have ever heard of before as our consumption patterns become increasingly bespoke.
Unless your friend convinces you that their recommendation is worth your time, you’re likely to remain inside your content bubble.
I become increasingly aware of this during football season when I see commercials for television shows that millions of people appear to be watching that I have never heard of before:
A show about a kid named Sheldon.
Some guy named Tracker.
A show about ghosts?
Lots of shows with acronyms for titles.
Chicago everything.
I’ve never watched any of these shows, and I couldn’t tell you what they are about, but it looks like a lot of people are watching these shows.
Two decades ago, I would’ve likely been watching them, too.
I just learned that Survivor and Big Brother — two shows I once watched 20 years ago — are still on television. I watched the first season of each, but apparently, they continued without me.
Who knew?
In fairness, I watch little TV these days beyond sports, but not because I don’t enjoy or oppose it in any way. Elysha and I just finished watching Station Eleven and loved it.
Because of our schedules, it took us two months to complete, but it was well worth my time.
We also just started re-watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer with the kids and are currently in season 9 of The Simpsons.
We love a good television show, but at the rate we currently watch TV, I hope to finish both series before the kids leave for college.
I simply don’t have the time.
A good problem, of course, but also one that leaves me watching commercials during NFL games that leave me wondering:
Who the hell is Sheldon?
Is this the same Equalizer that was on TV when I was a kid?
The Masked Singer can’t be real. Can it?
Two decades ago, I could’ve answered all these questions.
I’m honestly not sure if this is a good or bad thing.
October 28, 2024
“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” returns
One of the best gifts you can give another person is opening the door to something new and glorious.
Elysha, for example, convinced me years ago to give the NPR radio show “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” a try after I scoffed at the absurdity of a radio game show.
Turns out I was wrong.
Since she convinced me to listen almost two decades ago, I haven’t missed an episode. We often listen as a family in the car, and she and I have taken the kids to a live taping of the show.
What a fantastic gift — 20 years of entertainment I would’ve missed had it not been for her.
She also introduced me to her high school friend, Shera, and, more importantly, her husband, David, who has since become a good friend of mine. Among other things, David is a writer, a sports fan, a Springsteen fan, and someone who shares many of my sensibilities.
Elysha opened the door to a new and important person in my life many years ago, and I have been eternally grateful.
My friends Tom and Jeff introduced me to golf when I thought the game was elitist and stupid. Thanks to their insistence and persistence, I have been playing golf for nearly 20 years, and it’s one of my very favorite things in this world.
I’ve since passed on my love for golf — and the original set of clubs Tom gave to me — to at least four friends who have become equally enamored.
The gift that keeps on giving.
I mention this because, on Saturday night, Eluysha and I sat the kids down in front of the television to watch “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” for the first time together. My friend, Coog, convinced me to watch the show back in 1996, and after rejecting it at first — failing to see the comedy amidst the angst — I soon fell in love with the show, watching the entire series at a time when doing so required a lot of effort:
Recording constantly. Finding episode lists on an early, archaic version of the intenet. Tracking down and waiting for hard-to-find episodes to finally air. Monitoring TV viewing guides for appearances of the show on new networks.
Watching a series in order without missing an episode took effort back then, but I made it happen.
I introduced her to the show when I started dating Elysha in 2004. By then, DVDs of the show were available, so we spent many hours sitting together, watching and loving the Scooby gang’s adventures. When Elysha and I list our favorite TV shows of all time, we both include “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” at or near the top.
I often consider it one of the best gifts I’ve ever given her.
So now we’re offering that same gift to our kids, and since much of the television viewing in our home is done as a family, we have many hours ahead of us to sit as a foursome and watch Buffy and her friends battle evil again and again. It will be the third and likely final time I watch the series from beginning to end, thus offering our children the same gift Coog gave me and I gave Elysha, but will also give our family a gift that we have always adored:
Time spent together listening, watching, and discussing something that we love. While so many people spend so much time trapped in their individual media bubbles, Elysha and I have always tried to prioritize watching things together as a family — television, movies, Broadway shows, sports events, and concerts.
Whenever possible, we sit down as a family to watch. It’s time we consider precious, and it’s helped to build a lifetime of memories with our kids.
I’m excited to spend time with Buffy Summers and her friends again, but I’m even more excited about sitting beside my wife and kids, watching, laughing, discussing, and debating a show that Elysha and I love and the kids will likely love, too.
They loved the first two episodes.
Coog offered me this gift almost 30 years ago, and I gave the same gift to Elysha 20 years ago. Now, Clara and Charlie will enjoy it, too.
Baubles, trinkets, bits of technology, and the like make lovely gifts, but the best gifts are not nearly as tangible as most people think. Instead, the gift of joy, passion, entertainment, friendship, time well spent, and time spent together will always be better than even the most expensive, luxurious, and flashy.
October 26, 2024
Three things that make my heart soar
Three things that make my heart soar:
When someone on social media says, “You’re stupid!” to me but uses “your” instead of “you’re.”When someone tries to make fun of my last name on social media but adds an apostrophe to my name (Dick’s).When someone on social media attacks me, but when I don’t notice or bother to respond, they try again.I love it when mean people appear dumb and needy.
But even when the meany doesn’t sound dumb or desperate, I never care unless a salient point has been made. I’m fortunate to be fairly impenetrable to most of the unkindness and cruelty directed at me.
It’s one of my superpowers.
As one of my students wrote this week, “Mr. Dicks doesn’t care when people make fun of him because he’s always making fun of himself.”
Smart kid.
Also, after writing online every day for nearly two decades — my 20th anniversary is only a month away— and sharing my biggest failures, embarrassments, and moments of shame on stages worldwide for almost 15 years, you become fairly impervious to trolls, naysayers, haters, and malcontents.
Honestly, I’ve always been this way.
I get asked by interviewers and the people I coach how I handle the criticism and judgment of others.
When someone reviews a book poorly, scores a story harshly, or insults me online for an opinion or idea, how do I avoid allowing that criticism to impact me?
My responses typically go like this:
I have a lot of confidence and self-esteem. Probably too much. It helps a lot.When we make or do a thing, we must accept that some or many people will not like our thing. That is part of the “making and doing things” business. Reasonable people are allowed to believe that our act of creation is ridiculous, wrongheaded, or lacking value. You can’t win over everyone.It’s easy to ignore non-creators when they unfairly or cruelly attack creators. The non-creator risks nothing and brings nothing new into the world. They are likely lashing out because they know this, and it hurts. Instead of being angry or hurt by their criticism, feel sympathy for them.Why would I care what Peter in Peoria thinks? I don’t know the guy and will never know him, so if his criticism strikes me as unfair, unjust, or unkind, I can simply assume that he’s a sad little troll living a menial existence bereft of joy and love.Never forget that creation is hard. Criticism is effortless.Also, when the critic misspells a word or becomes upset because you’ve failed to react to our outburst, that makes it even easier and maybe even a little fun.
Alice in Wonderland sucks
Have you ever read Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland?
I attempted to read it last year and eventually quit, finding it as indiscernible as Virginia Woolf.
It’s reportedly an example of literary nonsense, a style “that plays with the conventions of language and the rules of logic and reason via sensical and non-sensical elements. The effect of nonsense is often caused by an excess of meaning, rather than a lack of it.”
Yeah, right.
I want to meet one person who has read this “classic children’s story” to an actual child.
The original novel, I mean. No adaptations.
Anyone?
October 25, 2024
Relics still kicking
The world is filled with ridiculous relics of the past.
From neckties—first worn by Croatian mercenaries during the 30 Years War(1618-1648) to hold the tops of their jackets together—to heels—originally worn by cavalry soldiers in the 10th century to keep their feet in the stirrups—the world is awash with nonsense from the past that oddly still seems completely reasonable today.
Two that have come to my attention this week:
Did you know that credit card companies stopped requiring you to sign the check at a restaurant or for any other rudimentary purchase back in 2018?
It’s been six years since we’ve been required to sign when using a credit card, yet people continue to unnecessarily sign papers that will never be read, scrutinized, or even required under audit.
It’s completely legal to walk out of a restaurant without signing the check, yet we continue to do so.
Why?
Because we used to do so.
This week, the Federal Aviation Administration eliminated a rule requiring an off switch for the “No smoking” sign on airplanes even though smoking on U.S. flights ended in 1988 and almost all flights worldwide in 2000.
These lights can now remain on permanently.
Before this, flights had actually been delayed because the off switch was found to be inoperable, even though the sign was never turned off.
Why?
No one had ever bothered to change the rule.
Here’s one that I would like to end immediately:
Pennies
A conservative estimate is that 240 billion pennies are lying around the United States—about 724 ($7.24) for every American.
A penny costs two cents to make and is almost rarely used,Its primary purpose is to hand back accurate change during cash purchases, which means clerks hand out billions of pennies every year to people who will never spend them again.
As the New York Times so eloquently described:
“This creates an incessant demand for new pennies to replace them so that cash transactions that necessitate pennies can be settled. Because these replacement pennies will themselves not be spent, they will need to be replaced with new pennies that will also not be spent, and so will have to be replaced with new pennies that will not be spent, which will have to be replaced by new pennies (that will not be spent, and so will have to be replaced).”
In other words, we keep minting pennies because no one uses the pennies we mint.
Now that we have eliminated the signing of checks and the off button on the “No smoking” sign, perhaps the penny could be next?
Please?
A little less stupidity in this world would be a wonderful thing.
October 24, 2024
A teacher’s first name is an excellent name
If it were up to me, my students would call me by my first name.
I find using last names and titles in education to be an artificial means of respect that doesn’t amount to any respect.
It’s a silly bit of artifice that signifies nothing.
Call me Matt. I’ll earn your respect through consistency, expertise, and love.
However, the use of honorifics makes even less sense for female teachers. It’s nothing more than an inane vestige of the patriarchy.
When a female teacher uses her last name, the honorific is designed to indicate her marital status. Unlike men, who enjoy “Mr.” as their universal honorific, women’s honorific is specifically designed to identify themselves based on their legal relationship to another person—most often a man.
Miss, if you’re unmarried, perhaps have never been married, and maybe are young (whatever that may be).
Mrs. if you’re married.
Ms. if you are older, unmarried, divorced, or choosing to be deliberately vague.
Men need not navigate this nonsense because their age and marital status aren’t relevant. Why?
Patriarchy.
And yes, it’s true. “Ms.” was intended to be the universal honorific for women designed for women regardless of marital status, but it’s also used by unmarried women who feel they are too old for “Miss” but who will ultimately switch to “Mrs.” if they marry, thus muddying the waters of what was meant to be a solution to this problem.
Even when “Ms.” is used exclusively as a universal honorific, the continued existence of the other two female honorifics invariably confuses matters.
Even if a married female teacher chooses “Ms.” to keep her marital status out of her name, she is doomed to a lifetime of slipups from colleagues who know she is married. They will accidentally use “Mrs.” until corrected and likely make the same mistake again.
And for those women who were once “Mrs.” but are no longer married and use “Ms.” the same mistakes will often be made.
I have seen this many times and made these mistakes myself.
Students make these errors even more often and will likely ask about the decision to use “Ms.” over “Mrs.” Thus, despite attempts to use the universal honorific, women will invariably be forced to discuss their marital status anyway, probably more often and in greater detail than if she had used “Mrs.”
The change in last name and honorific when a woman gets married or divorced complicates matters even further.
Ms. becomes Mrs. or vice-versa.
Last names sometimes change, but sometimes don’t.
A woman may be divorced but continues to use her ex-husband’s last name.
I have colleagues who have been married for decades, and yet I still occasionally slip and refer to them by their maiden names.
By the way, the phrase “maiden name” is also fairly archaic and stupid.
Maiden name?
It’s your name. Men don’t have “Maiden” names. I know a man who changed his name when he was married, but he never had a maiden name.
He had a name, and now he has a new name.
A person’s name should not depend on their personal life and legal attachment to a spouse.
It’s that simple.
Many high school teachers also allow students to call them by their first names, and no one seems to mind, so apparently, using an honorific as a sign of respect also has an expiration date, which makes it even more stupid.
It’s respectful from age five through fourteen, but its usefulness apparently diminishes after that.
That also makes no sense. If I were teaching fourteen-year-old kids, they could call me Matt, but because I teach ten- and eleven-year-old students, they cannot because honorifics still possess the magical power of respect for another three or four years?
It’s so dumb, yet it happens all the time. I called many of my high school teachers by their first names, but I don’t even know the first names of any of my elementary or middle school teachers.
Besides, in my 26 years of teaching, I have learned that if you depend on your title to confer even an ounce of respect on your students, you’re in a hell of a lot of trouble.
I’d much prefer the freedom to use whatever name I choose professionally. Unfortunately, asking my students to use my first name is not a realistic option for me. I work in a school where every teacher is identified by their last name and in a district where educators and administrators with doctorates almost always use that honorific.
I have two friends who possess doctorates, yet neither has ever used the honorific in any part of their personal or professional life. I wasn’t even aware that they possessed a doctorate for years.
I admire them for that.
Even if I were allowed to have students use my first name (and I suspect that I am not), I’ve also come to understand the hazards of stepping out of line regarding decades-old, tradition-laden practices in the workplace, especially in a school.
Breaking this norm would be challenging, to say the least. I have colleagues who have never referred to me by my first name after years of working together.
Can you imagine how they might feel if students suddenly called me Matt?
Traditions are difficult to break. It can be done, but you need to be prepared to be despised by many for doing so. I do not feel strongly enough about this issue to absorb that kind of flack.
At least not yet.
However, I allow students to refer to me by my first name when the bell rings on the last day of school, and some do. It’s a hard transition for some, and many can’t manage it, but I’m always grateful to those who can and choose to. When they come back and visit me, they’ll walk into the classroom and say, “Hi, Matt,” which always throws my current students for a loop.
Some teachers, too, I suspect.
It’s my teeny-tiny shout into the wind. My attempt to break tradition long after the breaking would be meaningful.
But if my female colleagues suddenly decided that the patriarchal positioning of their complex collection of honorifics must end today, I would happily join them in their pursuit.
Like my high school colleagues, first names are perfectly acceptable ways to address a human being.
Honorifics are foolish and meaningless ways to signal or garner respect.
First names, I say! Free women from the tyranny of this patriarchal tradition. Toss those honorifics to the trashbin of history and stop children from using marital status and age to dictate name.
October 23, 2024
No one is watching and everything is impermanent
A quick reminder that when it comes to social media:
No one is watching as much as you think. Also, everything is temporary and utterly impermanent.
The photo you struggled to make perfect today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Or, more likely, ten minutes later.
Real life is so much better.
