Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 204
March 21, 2019
19 Things I Heart: 2019
I’m an author whose next novel, which hits shelves on October 15, is written entirely in lists. List after list after list which tells the story of a man and his struggle for friendship, love, dignity, self-worth, and financial security.
I like lists.
Back in March of 2015, I wrote a list of 19 things I loved at the time. I just reviewed that list to see how much had changed over the span of four years.
I chose four years because it’s the length of time that the average person spends in high school and/or college. The differences from freshman to senior year can often be profound, so that four year timeframe felt right to me.
It’s important to note that the time of year clearly plays a role in the making of this list. If it was autumn, for example, you would see Patriots games, the Coventry farmer’s market, and golf on the list.
Had I written the list a month ago, Crashing, a now-cancelled television show, would’ve made the list.
Like my last list, I’ve set a reminder on my Google calendar to return to this list on March 21, 2023 to see how my tastes have changed. Maybe you could do the same? I highly recommend it.
_______________________________
Netflix on the treadmill
Egg McMuffins
Seth Meyer’s “A Closer Look”
Watching my son dance
Moth StorySLAMs
My wife in a tee-shirt and underwear
Doing stand-up
Heavyweight, Hit Parade, and Reply All (podcasts)
The Corner Pug
Playing Sorry with my family
Every other Friday when the cleaning lady comes to our home
The cats sleeping alongside me and on top of me at night
Listening to Elysha emcee a Speak Up show
Bob Newhart
Queen, Springsteen, and Pink’s “Just Give Me a Reason”
Walt Hickey’s daily Numlock News newsletter
Tweeting at Donald Trump
A&W Diet Root Beer
Listening to my daughter read to my son
March 20, 2019
A man of many sexual exploits. Apparently. Maybe.
Happily, I have a thick skin. As an author of several books and a person who writes on the Internet in a variety of contexts, I receive a lot of less-than-glowing responses and reviews. These come in the form of online reviews, tweets, emails, and Facebook messages.
While a vast majority of my book reviews have admittedly been positive, some are not.
Some are downright scathing.
Many authors avoid reading reviews (or claim they do) as an act of self preservation. They refuse to look at their reviews on places like Amazon and Goodreads because the negative feedback can really hurt.
I’m not a supporter of this policy for two reasons:
As an author, I write books with the intent of selling them to readers. Ignoring reviews amounts to ignoring your customers, and for me, that makes no sense. If my customers have a consistent complaint about my work, I want to know about it.
If a negative review or a scathing comment is going to somehow impact my sense of self-worth or my psyche, I’m in the wrong line of work. Not everyone is going to love what you make, and some of them are going to say it aloud.
An added bonus to reading your reviews is you occasionally get the negative review that causes you to laugh, like the one I read yesterday for Storyworthy.
The person wrote:
__________________________________________
It is a great book and effective map for great storytelling. But too many references glorifying the man's sexual exploits for me though it could be worse.
__________________________________________
I loved this bit of criticism. First of all, I had never considered myself a man of many sexual exploits, so I’m kind of thrilled that I might be more exciting than I once thought.
And what does “it could be worse” mean? Does this person have knowledge of my sexual exploits and knows that I held back? Is he or she implying that I could’ve shared a lot more? And if so, what?
I also have no idea what this person is talking about. Does Storyworthy really contain a multitude of references glorifying my sexual exploits? I honestly can’t recall a single one, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I shared more sex stories than I had planned. Maybe I unintentionally overshared (which I’ve been known to do from time to time).
If you’ve read the book recently, could you let me know? I really want to know.
March 19, 2019
19 Things I Heart (2015)
Exactly four years ago, I posted a list of 19 things I was loving at the time.
As a novelist who has written an entire novel in lists (preorder here), it’s not surprising that my blog and social media is peppered with lists of various kinds.
I especially like making lists like these because they allow me to look back four years later and see what has changed in my life. Back in 2015 when I wrote the list, I set a reminder in my Google calendar to check back on the list today, which was a very clever thing for the 2015 version of myself to do.
Good job, former me.
I wondered:
Am I still enjoying the same things, or have my tastes changed? Will I think the 2015 version of myself was odd? Stupid? Naive?
Am I the same person, or am I a completely new person?
The list, it turns out, breaks down into three categories:
Things that I still love
Things that I no longer love.
Things that I now take for granted.
I’ll write a new list for tomorrow for 2019. Here is how the 2015 list breaks down:
THINGS I STILL LOVE
Chipotle burritos
Tickling my children
My wife in a tee shirt and underwear
Bruce Willis action films while on the treadmill
Carhartt socks in place of slippers
Moth StorySLAMs
Jeff (my friend)
Egg McMuffins
THINGS I NO LONGER LOVE
Listening to my kindergarten daughter read to me (she’s in fourth grade and prefers to read independently)
Better Call Saul (between seasons)
1776 by David McCullough (I’m sure it was great but I don’t remember much about it)
The Lyle Lovett Pandora station
Cold water from a metallic water bottle
Holding my dog in my lap after work (she passed away last year)
Any day over 35 degrees (35 degrees? Give me a day over 50 and I’ll be happy)
THINGS I TAKE FOR GRANTED
Overcast (podcasting app)
The Memory Palace (podcast)
UNU battery pack (for my iPhone)
Squarespace
March 18, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Tom Ouimet
On episode #41 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Matthew and Elysha Dicks talk storytelling!
In our followup segment, we congratulate friend of the podcast Robin Gelfenbien on her recent (and momentous) Moth StorySLAM victory. Robin is the producer and host of Yum's the Word, an award-winning NYC storytelling show and podcast:
http://www.yumsthewordshow.com
Next, we pass on AirTable, a Homework for Life suggestion from a listener:
https://airtable.com
https://vimeo.com/album/3513053/format:detail
In our Homework for Life segment, we talk about the challenge of tell a hero story when the act of heroism is not all that impressive or interesting.
Next we listen to Tom Ouimet's story about a secret in his pants.
After listening, we discuss:
The exceptional layering and efficiency of the story
The strategic use of pauses and silence to enhance humor
The importance of choice and consistency when it comes to the perspective adopted by the storyteller
The escalation of stakes
Making choices consistent with the tone and theme of a story
Next, we answer questions about critiquing stories and telling stories from a third person perspective.
Finally, we each offer a recommendation.
LINKS
Homework for Life: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne
Matthew Dicks's website: http://www.matthewdicks.com
Matthew Dicks's YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/matthewjohndicks
Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's weekly newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicks-subscribe
Subscribe to the Speak Up newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/subscribe-speak-up
STORYTELLING WORKSHOPS 2019
May 4: Storytelling workshop (beginner), CT Historical Society
May 18: Storytelling workshop (advanced), CT Historical Society
June 1: Storytelling workshop (master class), CT Historical Society
July 29-August 2: Storytelling bootcamp, CT Historical Society
August 17: Storytelling workshop, Taproot Theater, Seattle, WA
October 25-27: Storytelling workshop, Kripalu Center for Yoga and Heath
December 6-8: Storytelling workshop, Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health
RECOMMEDATIONS
Elysha:
Matt:
'The Middle': Watch How a Pop Hit Is Made | NYT - Diary of a Song
March 17, 2019
Most of us rejoice. A bunch of old, white bigots do not.
Have you heard?
National Women’s Soccer League stars Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris are engaged to be married, the couple announced last week. The romance between the athletes began nearly a decade ago when the two met while playing for the U.S. National Team.
Social media was abuzz with the news last week, with people from all over the world sending their congratulations to the couple via Twitter, Instagram, and the like. Popular in their own right for their efforts on and off the soccer field, the union of Krieger and Harris was greeted by soccer fans with excitement.
Even FIFA, the governing body of the World Cup. post a tweet sending their love and congratulations to the couple.
Not everyone sent love and congratulations.
The Republican Party’s 2018 campaign platform declared that “marriage is between one man and one woman” and condemns the Supreme Court ruling making same-sex marriage legal.
The Vice President of the United States called being gay a choice and said keeping gays from marrying was not discrimination but an enforcement of “God’s idea.” He has repeatedly voted against bills that would prevent discrimination of LGBTQ people in the workplace.
In America today, you can be fired from your job for being gay. That is insanity.
Pence’s wife now works at a school that forbids both LGBTQ students and staff.
Donald Trump, despite his promises during the campaign to protect LBGTQ rights, has been equally bigoted.
His State Department has removed a section about violence and discrimination against LGBTQ people from its annual human rights report. His Justice Department rescinded Obama-era guidance instructing public officers to interpret sexuality and gender discrimination under federal prohibitions on sex discrimination. He twice failed to celebrate LGBTQ Pride Month.
It’s so odd to watch so many people around the world celebrate the engagement of these two accomplish and respected women while knowing that the President and Vice President of the United States and the majority of GOP lawmakers would make the marriage of these two women illegal if given the chance.
This is what happens when old, white bigots are in power. They drag their hateful, arcane ideas back into the halls of justice in a desperate attempt to reverse progress.
Happily, far more people in America and around the world are happy for the love that Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris have found, and although progress can be restrained and even temporarily reversed at time, it cannot be stopped forever.
March 16, 2019
The middle finger is just a finger
Good news!
By unanimous decision, a federal appeals court in Michigan last week upheld an American’s unalienable right to extend her middle finger.
A Michigan woman gave the middle finger to a police officer after receiving a ticket. The officer pulled her over again and upgraded the ticket to a worse offense.
It turns out that this is a violation of her First Amendment right to free speech.
For the record, I think it is so incredibly stupid that human beings consider the raising of a single digit to be so vulgar and offensive that it can’t be shown on television or would cause a police officer to even think about upgrading a traffic ticket.
It’s stupid, but it’s also weird.
I can raise my index finger. I can raise my pinkie finger. I can raise my arm. My elbow. My knee. My big toe. But the extension of my middle finger - absent any other digit - is so offensive that it must be blurred on television in the same way networks must blur genitals and women’s breasts.
That’s crazy.
According the FCC, the middle finger is just as inappropriate on television as an exposed penis. Both cannot be transmitted across the airwaves without blurring or pixilation.
It’s crazy. And stupid. And weird. Right?
It’s my middle finger. I should be able to raise it whenever I damn well please. This should not be an offensive or vulgar gesture.
Rude? Sure. Insulting? Yes. As long as the gestures continues to convey the same sentiment that it does today, I’m not arguing that the middle finger should be considered polite.
But so vulgar that it can’t be shown on network television?
That’s stupid.
March 15, 2019
Losers lose. I am happy.
As Captain Marvel enters its second weekend at the box office, it’s important to note that:
It had a spectacular opening weekend, pulling in $153 million in North America and $455 million globally
Both of those numbers far exceed projections
It was the sixth-best worldwide opening ever
The film appears to be on its way to earning more money than any superhero origin ever
I have not yet seen the movie, so I can’t speak to the quality of the film. It’s earned a 79% on Rotten Tomatoes and critics have generally liked it a lot but not loved it.
Nevertheless, these box office numbers please me greatly.
When it was announced that Captain Marvel would be a woman, the same low-life cretins who protested the reboot of Ghostbusters with female leads began their campaign of hate against this film, too.
These are most assuredly small-minded, knuckle-dragging white guys who trade in toxic masculinity and treat the Marvel cannon as something both scared and immalleable. They were undoubtedly the champions of Gamergate and the kinds of men who worry that women and Mexicans are stealing the jobs that they probably lost because they were too busy playing video games and drinking purple drank.
I paint a broad brush, I know. Apologies. I’m sure some very fine people stood opposed to a female Captain Marvel for very good reasons.
But you need to be a special kind of loser to be so angry that Captain Marvel is a women or the Ghostbusters have vaginas as to take to the Internet in droves, attempting to bring these movies down.
I am happy to see that their campaign of sexism has failed. I am happy to see that Captain Marvel is a huge financial success.
I like it when idiots, sexists, and close-minded bigots lose spectacularly.
Now if someone wants to come over and watch our kids, Elysha and I will be happy to see the movie and contribute to its financial success.
March 14, 2019
Wisdom
Charlie, age 6, said this after awakening from a bad dream:
“When you wake up, bad dreams die.”
As a person who still suffers from occasional nightmares as a result of my PTSD, these were wise words.
Words I needed to hear.
Wisdom from my little boy.
March 13, 2019
I have opinions on a suggested 30 percent tip
When it comes to dining out, I am a good tipper. My standard tip is 20% rounded up, and if I am especially pleased with the service, I’ll add a dollar or two.
I don’t have a problem with tipping for service at a restaurant.
I also tip on the total bill, including tax, because I’m not an insane person.
On Saturday night, however, Elysha and I went to dinner with friends, and at the bottom of the bill were some tipping suggestions. I hate the mere existence of these suggestions, since calculating 15 or 20 percent of any total should not be difficult for any grown-ass human being.
Even if calculating 20 percent is challenging for you, we can all calculate 10 percent of a number, so at worst you can just add half of that amount for 15 percent or double it for 20 percent.
I find these tipping suggestions slightly insulting both especially unsettling. I worry that people actually need them.
But the suggestions offered on Saturday night were insulting for a whole new reason.
30 percent? This restaurant has added 30 percent as an option to the suggested tips?
Frankly, I think 25 percent is a little presumptuous, but 30 percent?
I often suggest that folks purchase my books by the dozen, but I’m not serious. I’m making a joke. I don’t ever expect anyone to do it, but these suggestions are not meant to be funny.
Someone somewhere thinks that a 30 percent tip should not only an option, but it’s an option so common and obvious that it’s worthy of suggestion.
It’s not.
For the record, I tipped $12 that night, making my tip a little more than 21 percent of the bill. A tip like this would normally make me feel good about my tip. Generous, even.
But not when the stupid restaurant presents 30 percent an option.
March 12, 2019
The Other Mother: Another cover reveal!
Just last week, I revealed the cover to my next novel, Twenty-one Truths About Love, which publishes in October.
But that wasn’t entirely correct.
My actual next novel is titled The Other Mother, and it will publish in the UK and Australia in June of this year and will publish in the United States sometime in 2020.
In truth, I wrote The Other Mother first, and it was supposed to be my next book published in the United States, too, but then my new editor had the chance to read the first half of Twenty-one Truths About Love, and she and my publisher decided to reverse the order of publication, forcing me to finish Twenty-one Truths About Love early.
If you noticed that I was a little harried last year, now you know why.
But I was thrilled. They were so excited about the book and its potential that they wanted it on store shelves as soon as possible.
So today I’m revealing the cover of The Other Mother, which will grace the UK and Australian editions of the novel. When it finally lands in the United States late next year, the cover will almost assuredly be different.
The name, for example, will definitely be different. My pen name in the UK is Matthew Green after it was determined that my actual last name might offend British sensibilities.
Green is Elysha’s maiden name.
But I like this cover a a lot. I hope you do, too, particularly if you’re living in the UK or Australia.
