Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 101

Maria Grace Wolk at TEDxUNLV

Congratulations to my client and friend, Maria Grace Wolk, on her recent TEDx Talk at UNLV.

I had the great honor of helping her find the conference, pitch her idea, and craft and prepare her talk.

She performed brilliantly.

It’s a must-listen.

Ugliest color?

Is Pantone 448C the world’s ugliest color?

According to an advisory team that came up with the design for the Australian government’s plain cigarette packets, it might just be.

Over three months, a team of academics and commercial market researchers was enlisted with the unusual task of designing the least appealing package in an effort to decrease the appeal of smoking.

After seven different studies involving more than 1,000 participants, Pantone 448C – labeled “drab dark brown” was it.

I’ve never thought about my least favorite color, though I don’t love purple, but when it comes to my favorite color, it depends upon who asks.

If an adult asks, I say that my favorite color is context-dependent.

If we’re talking about the sky, blue is my favorite color.

If it’s my favorite color for clothing, it’s black.

If it’s the color of grass, green is my favorite.

No singular color appeals to me absent context.

But if a child asks me about my favorite color, my answer is always, “I don’t have one.”

It makes them crazy. They lose their minds over the idea that I might not have a favorite color.

It’s so much fun to watch.

The need to know

It’s the second Thursday of the month.

You know what that means, Right?

The consumer price index report will be released at 8:30 AM EST.

It’s a day I wait for every month, at least for the last 18 months or so, as inflation has escalated worldwide. The report will detail the state of inflation in the United States for the previous month. These numbers are incredibly important because they will, in part, determine how the Federal Reserve will manage interest rates moving forward, which will, in turn, dictate the direction of the stock market, the bond market, the housing market, and so much more.

Similarly, I am also keenly aware of the first Friday of every month when the unemployment numbers are released for the previous month. I’m usually hoping that the United States created a substantial number of jobs each month, which will keep the unemployment number low and Americans working. I’m also curious to see how unemployment reports from previous months have been revised as more data has been gathered.

Oddly enough, low unemployment has been closely tied to higher inflation as of late. In a tight job market, employers are forced to increase wages in order to hire and retain talent, and those increased salaries drive up inflation.

Lately, investors have been hoping for a strong jobs report, but not too strong.

All of this is to say that these numbers (and many more) matter to me, and I am always keenly aware of when they are being released and what they mean.

But I was speaking to a colleague yesterday who knows nothing about either of these numbers. She doesn’t know when these reports are released or even what they mean for the economy. She is moving through life unaware and disinterested in this level of economic awareness.

In many ways, I found myself envious of her disposition. This is not to imply that she is flawed in any way for not knowing that the CPI report is being released this morning. She is a smart person who has directed her focus, effort, and attention on other meaningful pursuits, and in fairness, my knowledge of today’s CPI report will not change my life in any significant way, nor will my knowledge of the data contained therein make an enormous difference on my decisions moving forward. I might be more or less inclined to purchase certain stocks based upon the results, and understanding the results of the report will help me better understand the movements in the stock and bond markets, but ultimately, the information isn’t essential to my well-being, nor do I have any influence over the numbers.

I found myself wondering if my colleague wasn’t right in her approach to life. Do I really need to be burdened with the knowledge of these numbers and their release dates? Am I being a little ridiculous in my focus on such things?

I found myself wondering if my attention to these matters might not be as necessary as I think.

The struggle, I suppose, is that even if I decided that the CPI report doesn’t contain information necessary to my personal well-being, my curiosity is insatiable. Even if the information is meaningless to me and my life, I know that the report will have an enormous implication in the financial markets and that the trends in the CPI will impact the country in profound political ways.

Again, this information won’t change my life, but I can’t see myself getting to a place where I wouldn’t want to know.

Curiosity killed the cat, but how does one dispense with curiosity?

Why Hakeem Jeffries’ A to Z speech works so well

Minority Leader of the U.S House of Representatives Hakeem Jeffries delivered his first speech as leader of the Democratic conference earlier this week. Near the end of the speech, he offered a series of alphabetic comparisons between his Democratic conference and that of the Republicans.

Normally I’d say that a contrived bit of wordplay like this is a bad idea. Hokey and too clever by half. Impossible to do well.

But I have to say:

It was brilliant. For three reasons:

1. The list works. There isn’t a single alphabetic comparison that feels forced. Admittedly, I’m not sure how many people know the definition of the word “xenial,” but I do, and I suspect that, given the context, you do, too.

“We’ll always put American values over autocracy, benevolence over bigotry, the constitution over the cult, democracy over demagogues, economic opportunity over extremism, freedom over fascism.”

“Governing over gaslighting, hopefulness over hatred, inclusion over isolation, justice over judicial overreach, knowledge over kangaroo courts, liberty over limitation, maturity over Mar-a-Lago, normalcy over negativity, opportunity over obstruction, people over politics, quality of life issues over Qanon.”

“Reason over racism, substance over slander, triumph over tyranny, understanding over ugliness, voting rights over voter suppression, working families over the well-connected, xenial over xenophobia, yes we can over you can’t do it and zealous representation over zero sum confrontation.”

A couple of my favorites from the list:

Constitution over the cult, which is perhaps the most powerful of the comparisons and makes the differences between the two parties abundantly clear.Quality of life issues over Q’anon, which highlights a real problem with certain members of the Republican conference, who openly espouse a belief in Q’anon conspiracies to parts of the American public who agree with them while simultaneously concealing those beliefs from the majority of their constituents who consider those beliefs ridiculous, dangerous, and stupid. Hanging this conspiracy theory on the Republican party (and rightfully so) is a powerful rhetorical tool.Maturity over Mar-a-Lago, which are three simple, biting words that say so much more but also come across as surprisingly amusing, too.

2. The list is surprising. When you first hear the speech, you don’t realize that you’re about to receive an alphabetic list of comparisons. By the time Jeffries gets to C or D or E, most people have realized what is happening, but that moment of realization, when you figure out the trick of the speech, is supremely satisfying for an audience, similar to solving an Agatha Christie mystery just before Miss Marple does. Dopamine is released in the brain at that moment, filling you with good feelings but still leaving you with a certain degree of suspense:

Is he really going through the whole alphabet?
What the hell is he going to use for Q? And X? And Z?
Is this really going to work?

That suspense is a powerful tool, too, holding the audience’s attention and achieving maximum focus on the words being spoken.

The construction of the speech is brilliant in this regard.

3. The list represents contrast in its most basic form, and contrast is the most powerful way in the world to define a concept, illustrate an idea, or make a point. Nothing is better. Compare two things that are dissimilar or in opposition to each other, and both things are brought to stark, powerful clarity.

It’s storytelling at its finest.

Jeffries also delivers the speech brilliantly, increasing his pace throughout, building momentum and excitement with each word.

Naturally, Republicans referred to Jeffries’ alphabetic list as a stunt and attempted to characterize it as childish and silly, but two things about that:

When your opposition feels the need to attack your words rather than ignoring them, they view those words as potentially damaging to their cause. Republicans’ attempts to undermine the speech only serve to highlight the power and effectiveness that they see in the speech.

The speech has been viewed well over 25 million times on various platforms across the internet, which qualifies it as a viral hit. More than 6% of Americans have already viewed it online.

Nearly 10% of adult Americans.

By contrast (because contrast is so powerful), Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy also delivered his first speech as Speaker of the House that day. His speech has been viewed tens of thousands of times online – a tiny fraction of the number that Jefferies’ speech has been viewed – which also explains the Republican’s attempt to denigrate Jeffries’ speech.

In fact, the C-SPAN video of McCarthy’s encounter with Congressman Matt Gaetz during the vote for Speaker of the House (and the physical manhandling of a Republican lawmaker by members of his own party) received exponentially more views than McCarthy’s speech.

You never want to lose to your own public temper tantrum.

Numbers don’t lie. Eyeballs matter. Politicians want to be heard, and rightfully so. The person who has the most views objectively delivered the more impactful speech.

In this case, the contest wasn’t even close.

Things I Do #18: Narrating my life

I sat down in front of the camera in my studio and said, “When last we left our hero…”

My friend, Kaia, heard this and laughed.

It hadn’t really occurred to me, but I do this all the time. Whenever I return to a project – a book, a video. a pile of math tests in need of correcting, the next episode of The Simpsons – I re-establish myself mentally by uttering “When last we left our hero…” and thinking about what I was doing the last time I was engaged in the activity.

I’ve also been known to say, “To be continued…” and “What will our hero do now?”

Probably other phrases that I say so often that I don’t even notice anymore.

Narrating your life aloud?

Weird, I know.

Assuming that some unseen but everpresent audience is always listening and deeply interested?

Even stranger.

But also constant.

People’s baby making plans should be their own

Elysha had a miscarriage between the births of our daughter, Clara, and our son, Charlie.

It was a difficult time for us. She was only pregnant for a few weeks, but we had already begun to think of that tiny collection of cells inside her womb as a new member of our family. Not an hour passed that I did not think about the new child we would be adding to our family.

Then the possibility of that child was gone. It felt ridiculous to mourn the loss of possibility, but we did.

Then Elysha got pregnant again, and Charlie was born.

We were so very lucky.

But during the time that we spent in that reproductive no-man’s land – the emotionally fraught period between a miscarriage and the time when you can begin trying to get pregnant again – two people asked me when Elysha and I were going to have another baby.

One asked me when we would finally give our daughter a sibling, insisting that two kids are better than one.

Another sought assurances that we wouldn’t stop after just one child since the first was turning out so well.

Neither question was asked with any level of gravitas. Both were posed amid an otherwise busy workday, probably because the atmospheric phenomenon of the day was not compelling enough to warrant a comment. They were little more than conversation fillers, as these types of questions often are, but both hit me hard and served as unnecessary reminders of what my wife and I were still enduring following the miscarriage.

Each time, I wanted to say:

“Well, Elysha just had a miscarriage, so we have to wait a while before trying again. Not to mention that we are still getting over the loss of what we thought would be our next child. But thanks so much for asking about our reproductive plans, jackass, because it’s definitely your business.”

Instead, I lied. I said that we were still debating when to have the next baby.

But both conversations left me angry and sad, but they also got me thinking. Since our miscarriage, I have learned something surprising:

Everyone has had a miscarriage.

Not technically everyone, but enough to make it feel like everyone. As soon as Elysha divulged our news to friends, she discovered that many, if not most, of her female friends had experienced similar circumstances.

Miscarriages happen all the time.

Five times in my life, I have stepped offstage after telling a story and been approached by a stranger who wanted to share the story of her miscarriage with me. In all five instances, I hadn’t told a story about pregnancy, fertility, or even parenthood. I had allowed myself to be vulnerable onstage, which had allowed these five women to be vulnerable with me.

In each case, I was the only person she had ever spoken to about her miscarriage.

Even today, speaking about a miscarriage remains at least slightly taboo.

Armed with an understanding of the frequency of miscarriages and the emotionality attached to them, I would like to make the following suggestion:

Let’s eliminate the “So when are you guys going to have a baby?” question from the litany of inane comments that are made on a daily basis.

Nothing good can come from this question. At best, you’ll gain a bit of meaningless information that serves no useful purpose. At worst, you will run into someone like me, who wishes he could share news of his wife’s pregnancy but is instead dealing with an unexpected loss.

And we were fortunate in many regards. Elysha got pregnant again relatively quickly. We have friends who have suffered through multiple miscarriages over months and years. Some of these miscarriages occurred considerably further along in their pregnancies. I remember hearing a colleague once ask one of my friends when she was going to “finally have another child.”

Knowing the struggles that she and her husband had already endured, I cannot imagine how the question must have made him feel.

Then there are the couples struggling with infertility, yet I cannot tell you the number of times I have heard one of these couples asked about when they are going to “finally start having kids.” I have friends who have spent tens of thousands of dollars to have a child, and the last thing they needed was a coworker or nosy neighbor inquiring about their reproductive plans.

“Yeah, it turns out my husband’s impotent, and we’re thinking about using his brother’s semen. Thanks so much for asking.”

Is that really what you want to hear?

There are also couples for whom deciding to have a child (or another child) is a source of conflict in their marriage. Asking these people when they will have a child only serves to rub salt into an already exposed wound.

“I want five kids, but my wife can barely handle the one we have. We can’t discuss the subject without fighting, so we’re in counseling now. I appreciate you bringing it up while we stand here at the photocopier.”

Somehow the “When are you guys going to make a baby?” question became as utilitarian as “What are you doing this weekend?” and “Did you hear about the snow we’re supposed to get?”

But it’s not.

So let’s stop asking it. Okay?

Generational philosophy

Generational observation:

My generation – Gen X – the very last generation to exist in a truly analog world – has spent much of our life, at least when we were younger, aggressively and relentlessly trying to make nothing out of something, oftentimes characterized as slackers, cynical, apathetic, indifferent, and disaffected.

Conversely, subsequent generations seem to have spent so much of their life aggressively and relentlessly trying to make something out of nothing and quite possibly out of everything.

Take a walk

Elysha is taking a walk with a friend this morning.

This may very well be the best decision of her week.

Walking has a long list of scientifically-proven physical and mental benefits. It’s perhaps the easiest, absolutely free habit to level up your entire life.

Just a tiny sampling of the benefits of walking:

​Stanford researchers found that walkers performed significantly better on tests measuring creative divergent thinking during and after walks. In fact, walking boosted creative thinking by an average of 60%, and the benefits lasted well beyond the walk itself.Researchers in Illinois found that children exhibited improved cognitive performance after 20 minutes of walking (vs. 20 minutes of sitting quietly).University of Hong Kong researchers showed that walking side-by-side led to deeper feelings of connection, implying that walking meetings may actually create better outcomes.Short daily bouts of walking have been shown in various studies to reduce all-cause mortality risk and the incidence of strokes and heart attacks.A NeuroImage study in June 2021 showed that daily walking may improve white matter plasticity in older adults, meaning improved memory retention curves.

In a 2016 New York Times article, journalist Gretchen Reynolds commented on a study that compared the impact of long bouts of office sitting with various degrees of standing and walking interventions.

The group that took a 5-minute walk at the top of every hour exhibited the strongest positive response:

“When the workers rose most often, they reported greater happiness, less fatigue, and considerably less craving for food than on either of the other days. Their feelings of vigor also tended to increase throughout the day, while they often had plateaued by early afternoon after walking only once in the morning.”

Walking has also been shown to reduce the risk of breast cancer, ease joint pain, improve immunity function, improve sleep, improve your sex life, and improve mood.

Add a little bit of nature to your walk – some trees, a little birdsong, and maybe a flower or two – and the mood-enhancing benefits of a walk skyrocket.

I think this is important to remember because, so often in life, people are drawn to complexity to solve their problems.

Yes, you can don your Lululemon Athletica super suit and spend an hour in a hot yoga class, followed by a smoothie detox under the care of a local guru while you simultaneously access the wisdom of a Hindu God by meditating in a room filled with the scents of aromatic candles and sandalwood incense in order to improve your health and mental well-being.

Or maybe you could just take a walk.

So often in life, people turn to complexity because it feels more potent, more powerful, and more purposeful.

Purchase a membership. Don your lycra super suit. Go to a well-appointed place. Listen to a curated selection of music. Learn from an expert. Do something new.

There’s nothing wrong with any of this, especially if it makes you happy, but so often in life, the simplest of things, like a walk, are discounted for their simplicity, when they can truly be the best things we can do for ourselves.

Eat a banana. Do some push-ups. Pet a cat. Read a book. Look at a tree. Go for a walk.

It doesn’t take much to make a big difference.

Happy birthday, Elysha

Happy birthday to my brilliant, beautiful, hilarious, and eminently wise wife, Elysha.

The calendar says that she is one year older today, but truly, she seems to grow younger in spirit as each year passes.

The first time I celebrated Elysha’s birthday with her, we weren’t yet together. I had dropped in on a dinner party at her apartment with my girlfriend at the time during dessert. I remember seeing her across a table crowded with food and candles, surrounded by friends, thinking how incredibly young and beautiful she looked.

From the moment I first saw Elysha, I had a crush on her, but on that night, seeing her celebrate with friends, I had never felt so out of her league. So impossibly far away from ever being with her.

Even today, after nearly two decades together, I still sometimes look at her across a room and can’t believe I’m married to her.

Sitting in a chair, reading a book.

Snuggling with our kids on the couch, watching a movie.

Or simply sitting in the passenger seat of the car as I drive down the road, I’ll look across at her and am still consumed with disbelief that she, Elysha, is holding my hand.

In so many ways, she’s still that young, beautiful, seemingly unattainable girl across that crowded birthday table, so very far out of my league.

How lucky for me.

Happy birthday, honey.

My hero: Low wage workers who do excellent work

I was recently asked about who I admire most. The person asking the question was looking for the name of a specific person, but my response was this:

Low-wage workers who do an outstanding job every day and take great pride in their work despite the size of their paychecks.

This includes everyone from fast food workers who provide outstanding service every day to adjunct professors who are being paid a fraction of a tenured professor’s salary for doing the same or oftentimes better job teaching students.

Doing your best, even when you’re not being rewarded properly for your efforts, has always impressed me.

I’ve often said that if I was running a large company and in need of good people, I would poach the best employees from fast-food restaurants, retail establishments, and anywhere else I could find outstanding people who I could train to work at my company.

Like this guy.