Ally Malinenko's Blog, page 21

Even New York City is a Small Town at Blue Hour

Just like John Cougar Melloncamp sang about.

I grew up in a small town.

Really small. Too small to have a McDonalds until I was in high school. The highlight of life was the movie theater with the ripped screen, the diner and driving around doing nothing but waiting to grow up.

When I started looking at colleges I only wanted one thing. A city. Any city. Anything with noise and life and bustling chugging buses and people and art and big libraries that took up a whole block, not just one room. And I lucked out and got that.

I know what it’s like to need to leave.

So I wrote this poem for my friend, Christian who needs to leave. Even if she needs to leave one of the biggest cities in the world.

Many thanks to Susie and Mo at Blue Hour for publishing it.

Eternal Recurrence

I’ve been reading a lot of Nietzsche lately – both his own writing as well as people writing about him. My books are filled with little post-it-notes with quotes like this:

But then it [the individual] discovers that it is itself something changing and has a changing taste. It discovers in its freedom the mystery that there is no individual, that in the smallest moment it is something other than in the next moment…the infinitely small moment is the higher reality and truth is a lighting flash out of eternal flux.

Mostly it’s been this notion of eternal recurrence that’s been staying with me. And yes, in full disclosure nearly all of this is for book research, which I’m not going to go into here other than to say I was struck today that my main character needs to be the Lighting Flash Out of Eternal Flux. And that this idea of eternal recurrence is a very central theme.

Basically Nietzsche said that this moment, right now, you reading these words, my typing them, my foot tapping as I do so has occurred in every possible time for all time. It will continue to occur. Everything in your life has already happened and it will continue to happen. (Those of you who are Battlestar Galactica or Matrix fans have already been weaned on these ideas. Only with cylons and cool stunts).

So that moment, this moment, the next moment, it’s all already happened. Your great family, your horrible job. They’re a constant. They will keep happening for all time. Unless you choose to change it. Granted if that notion doesn’t scare the bejesus out of you I don’t know what will. God created Man to create God.

Anyway, the point is this stuff is fascinating and I really could use way more free time to study it.

Also, bonus! I finally found a reason for YouTube. This guy does a bang up job of explaining Nietzsche’s Eternal Recurrence (British accent bonus!)

And Armand Assante is rocking it as Nietzsche (in When Nietzsch Wept). Guess who I’m gonna be for Halloween? I just need a big mustache.

Simply, Yes at Gutter Eloquence

Many thanks to Jack Marlowe at Gutter Eloquence for accepting the poem, Simply, Yes.

I think it’s kind of cool that this poem was published now because I’ve been reading Nietzsche and his theory of Eternal Recurrence for novel research and I found this quote. I feel like he said, what I was trying to say in the poem only, you know, better cause he’s Nietzsche (duh):

“I come again with this sun, with this earth, with this eagle, with this serpent – not to a new life, or a better life, or a similar life. I come again eternally to this identical and self-same life, in its greatest and its smallest to teach again the eternal return of all things”

Nice, right? Yeah. I thought so too. Thanks again Jack.

Movie Death and My Comic Book Problem

New Orleans – Voodoo Museum

Hola kids.

How’s life?

Me? I’m good. Had an AMAZING weekend which included heading over to Citi Field (still almost typed Shea) on Saturday to see the Mets beat the Marlins for the mister’s birthday weekend. Sunday was a lazy happy snuggly wine in bed sort of day. I love those days.

Had a pretty good writing morning this morning so that’s always a plus and I’ve got some stuff to share with you.

First and foremost I want to thank Amy Huffman for taking my poem Movie Death and posting it over at Pyrokinection. It’s a really great site and I’m honored to be included.

In other news, I’ve got a non-fiction piece (my first) about my comic book problem. It was published by the New Yinzer which is run by an awesome group of guys and gals back in Pittsburgh.

Hey, speaking of wanna hear a true story that happened the other day when I went to Galaxy Comics in Park Slope to pick up a few books that weren’t on my pull list? Yeah? Okay, here goes:

Comic Book Guy: “Age of Ultron and Locke and Key. Good Books.”

Me: “Thanks. I don’t know why I’m saying thanks. It’s not like I wrote them.”

Comic Book Guy: “Still you have good taste. That counts for something.”

Me: “I’m a 36 yr old woman buying comics. I think “taste” is no longer a factor.”

Comic Book Guy: (awkward laugh)

Oh, yeah. I know you’re jealous. Stunted adolescence is dead sexy.

Interview at Dab of Darkness

Hi folks. I’m over at Dab of Darkness talking about  poetry and fiction and goats and why I’m obsessed with Robert Falcon Scott and this:

Paper Heart which was published by Jersey Devil Press, was a story I was very proud of mainly because I had adopted a completely different writing style for that one and that was no easy feat. It was rejected numerous times before it found a home – most people were hung up on the notion that a person would be born with Ectopia cordis(a heart on the outside of the body) and that it would be made of paper. Also, the boy with no tear ducts seemed to baffle people. That’s why I’m thankful for places like Jersey Devil Press. They let me send them all my really weird stuff. And they were kind enough to nominate me for a Pushcart – which while I realize TONS of people get nominated for and it doesn’t really mean anything – but it meant something to me that the editors at Jersey Devil picked my story out of all the other fantastic stories they had published.

You hear that JDP? You guys rock.

Many thanks to Susan at Dab of Darkness for the interview. And how do we say thanks? With candy!

Also completely unrelated I fell for the Doctor Who Fan facebook page April Fool’s Day joke where they said Matt was leaving (Me: oh sadness) and that David Tennant was coming back (Me: ohmygodohmygodohmygod) and I gotta say, shame on you Doctor Who Fan page. It’s not nice to toy with a woman like that.

Poem

Astronaut

We are here,

side by side,

on this couch

where

I have opened and closed my mouth

a hundred times but not a single word has come out.

But

in my head I am in outer space

enjoying how peaceful it feels

to float around with little

between me and nothingness

but a sheet of glass.

Thoughts on Zombie Lord Day

I’m not a religious person. Actually more so I’m not a believer.

Never really have been.

I went through bouts in high school where I tried out different religions – the Catholicism I was raised in, the Judaism of my friends, the Buddhism that I thought would make me a better person but none of it stuck.

In the end, I came to terms with the notion that there is nothing after death.

Not to say that sometimes the idea doesn’t scare the crap out of me but ultimately, I’m okay with it.

I think it lets me live more concretely in the here and now. I’m not waiting for some great return or reward. I don’t think that when people I love die that I’ll see them again at some big party in the sky. I understand it’s the end. And I believe it helps me love them even more in the here and now. It helps me appreciate how complicated and difficult and beautiful and heartbreaking and fantastic this experience really is. The fact that we exist at all, on this rock out in all that empty space, is in itself mind-blowing.

And that’s what I worship – the mere glimmer of a chance.

Many thanks to Blue Hour for taking this poem Worship.

Happy Easter kids. Go eat peeps.

Interview at Middle Grade Ninja

Howdy

I’m over at Middle Grade Ninja facing the 7 Questions.

Buh buh BAAAAAA

(or other suspenseful sounding noise)

and in one of those questions I trace the origin of Jack Tripper. True story.

Always is, Jack. Always is.

So many many thanks to Rob at Middle Grade Ninja who also reviewed Lizzy Speare and the Cursed Tomb earlier this week.

And how do we say thanks? With candy!

YAY! CANDY!

The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth

I know I already wrote a post today and I’m sure that is MORE-than- enough-from-me-thank-you-very-much, but then Pen and Muse published this essay that I wrote.

And I have to say that more than any other blog post that I wrote this one really means something to me.

Mainly cause it’s about getting rejected by every  major publishing house in America, which you know, isn’t the easiest thing to talk about. And it certainly isn’t something to brag about. Hey, look at me everybody, NO ONE wants to publish my book!

Yeah.

So, why did I write it?

Because when I was in that year, getting rejected, I really could have used to read something like this. I could have used to hear that IT DOESN’T MATTER.

So this post is for all those writers who are getting knocked around. I hope it helps.

Stomaching Rejection

or

How Not To Give Up When The Big Houses Say No Thanks and Potentially Stomp on Your Dreams

Postscript:

Then this happened.

@allymalinenko, don’t even know you, and I’m very proud of you @penandmuse

— Amy Rogers Nazarov (@WordKitchenDC) March 21, 2013

See. That’s why it was written. There’s NO SHAME. Not anymore. What matters most of all is sharing the Art. What matters most is Creation.

Writing at 5 am and June the Cat at Ali’s Bookshelf

I get up really really really early to write. Because of this, I’m usually exhausted all day and asleep by 10 pm.  But I don’t mind. It works for me.

I’m over at Ali’s Bookshelf talking about this and my cat June

Tomorrow she’ll have a review of Lizzy Speare and the Cursed Tomb. Cross your fingers that it’s a good one.

So to Ali, thanks for having me!

and as always, the Starburst of Thanks to say…..well, Thanks!

And because she gets top billing…..This is June.

I CAN SEE YOUR SOUL!!!!