Scott Murray's Blog, page 97

August 20, 2020

The Fiver | Here we are getting excited by the publication of football fixtures

If the tumultuous events of 2020 have taught us anything, it’s that the tumultuous events of 2020 have taught us nothing. And so, as coronavirus gathers momentum around the planet for a second time, here we are getting all excited by the publication of the 2020-21 Premier League fixture list. Like the calendar has been any sort of reliable planning tool since lockdown was imposed on 23 March. Or was it Apruary 37? Dunno. We’ll double check with the government, they won’t be pulling things out of the back of their trousers like the feckless old Fiver.

'A marketing strategy for a drinks brand' and 'far worse' - Just why are #Leipzig and #PSG so unpopular? @RichieSadlier explains #RTESoccer #RTESport #UCL pic.twitter.com/ZAl1iEAadu

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Published on August 20, 2020 07:56

August 17, 2020

Internazionale 5-0 Shakhtar Donetsk: Europa League semi-final – as it happened

Inter will meet Sevilla in Friday’s final after demolishing the champions of Ukraine in Düsseldorf

11.30pm BST

9.55pm BST

Antonio Conte celebrates by waving both fists in delight. Luis Castro ruefully slips on his jacket with the haunted air of a man who’s just been told to clear his desk. He offers Conte his warmest congratulations, though, and both sets of players shake hands and swap shirts. Every Inter face wears the broadest smile. They really wanted this and got their reward; Lautaro Martinez in particular was dynamite up front. Shakhtar by contrast were strangely passive and the best team unquestionably won. Even so, they’ll always wonder what would have happened if Junior Moraes scored that close-range, closing-doors header. Inter meanwhile contemplate their first European final since they won the 2010 Champions League. One of the giants of football is stirring. Congratulations to Inter, commiserations to Shakhtar, and thanks for reading this report. Nighty night!

9.48pm BST

The referee shows the Ukrainian champions some mercy, though, blowing the full-time whistle on 89 minutes and 58 seconds. It took a while for Inter to really get going, but when they did, they were a class above. Shakhtar didn’t really turn up. Inter will face Sevilla in the final on Friday evening, looking for their fourth victory in the Uefa Cup / Europa League, and their first silverware for nine seasons.

9.47pm BST

90 min: Inter are in no mood to provide it. Eriksen takes. Gagliardini plants a powerful header goalwards. But it’s parried by Pyatov and the whistle goes for pushing anyway.

9.46pm BST

89 min: Moses and Esposito combine well down the right to win a corner. Shakhtar plead mercy.

9.44pm BST

87 min: Esposito’s first contribution should lead to the celebration of a goal, sent clear down the right. He over-elaborates and drags his shot wide right, with only Pyatov to beat. The flag goes up for offside, though I’m not 100 percent sure he was, but this way the young man’s blushes have been spared, so maybe it’s for the best.

9.42pm BST

85 min: An extremely content Lukaku makes way for Esposito. Manchester United may reflect that every cloud has a silver lining, and at least they don’t have to face their former striker in this form.

9.41pm BST

This is now officially a rout. Lukaku bet himself in a footrace with Khocholava in the first half, but didn’t get away. He does this time, turning on the jets to blaze down the inside-right channel, striding into the box and slotting away with the confidence of a man who’s now scored 33 times this season.

9.39pm BST

82 min: That close-range chance for Moraes seems such a long time ago now. Shakhtar should have equalised, but Inter have punished them emphatically since. The small margins, huh.

9.38pm BST

80 min: A double change for Inter. Christen Eriksen and Victor Moses come on for the goalscoring heroes D’Ambrosio and Martinez. What a game Martinez has had! A good idea to keep him safe ahead of the final.

9.36pm BST

This is far too easy for Inter now. Matviyenko’s dreadful square pass in from the right is picked up by Martinez, who cleverly dinks down the inside-right channel to release Lukaku. The striker makes it ten Europa League matches in a row in which he’s scored by opening up his body and curling positively into the bottom left.

9.34pm BST

77 min: Dodo slips over in the silent-movie style. Bastoni, adding injury to insult, accidentally steps on his had. Ooyah, oof. All still friends, though.

9.32pm BST

75 min: Konoplyanka comes on, too late, for Marlos. He gives his departing team-mate a sad wink, knowing full well the jig is up.

9.31pm BST

No matter! His strike partner has made it three, and Inter are surely in the final now. Stepanenko miscontrols in the middle of the park. Suddenly he’s swarmed by Inter, and Martinez is sent flying down the middle. He takes a touch and drops a shoulder before curling deliciously into the bottom right!

9.29pm BST

72 min: Lukaku should have put this beyond any doubt. Martinez is sent scampering in from the right. He slips the ball to Lukaku, who is able to take a stride down the middle and set himself for a shot. His low skelp is straight at Pyatov. He puts his head in his hands, as does his manager Conte on the touchline. You’d expect Lukaku to bury that.

9.26pm BST

70 min: Free kick for Shakhtar on the right. Marlos swings it long. But there are only three attackers in the Inter box, and the Italians calmly usher the ball out for a goal kick.

9.25pm BST

68 min: Gagliardini romps in the progressive manner down the middle. He’s about to feed Biraghi to his left, with Shakhtar light at the back, but overruns it and concedes a free kick while sliding in to keep the move going. Not this time, but Inter are the complete bosses of Shakhtar all of a sudden.

9.23pm BST

66 min: Inter consolidate their position with their first change of the night. Biraghi replaces Young.

9.22pm BST

What a sucker punch for Shakhtar! Inter win a corner out on the right. Brozovic swings it deep. D’Ambrosio rises with real desire and plants a header across Pyatov and into the top right! Easy as that, the goal coming one minute and 55 seconds after Moraes’s glaring miss!

9.20pm BST

62 min: What a chance for Shakhtar! Matviyenjo whips in from the left. Moraes, six yards out, must score. But his downwards header is straight at Handanovic, who can stick out an arm to block. Brilliant save at point-blank range, albeit one he should never have been allowed to make. Compare and contrast to Martinez’s clever finish for the goal.

9.18pm BST

61 min: Young wedges a pass down the left for Martinez, who tries a balletic spin around Kryvtsov. But the Shakhtar defender stays big.

9.15pm BST

59 min: And now it’s the first change of the evening, as Manor Solomon comes on for Alan Patrick.

9.15pm BST

57 min: Bastoni launches another attack but is unceremoniously bowled over by Taison, who receives the first yellow card of the evening.

9.13pm BST

55 min: Inter look pretty comfortable at the moment. Bastoni strides out from the back with confidence and sprays a glorious pass wide right for D’Ambrosio, who flicks inside for Barella. A busy run towards the Shakhtar box ultimately doesn’t lead to anything, but that was a fine move.

9.10pm BST

53 min: Moraes waves an arm in Godin’s face. There’s not a great deal in it, a clumsy clash and foul, nothing more. Godin wants more, though. The ref’s not interested in flashing any card. We play on.

9.07pm BST

51 min: Marcos Antonio has another dig from distance. This one’s not so close. Inter go up the other end, Lukaku using Khocholava as a shield before bending one towards the bottom right. It’s always going wide, and the keeper had it covered in any case.

9.06pm BST

49 min: Pyatov makes up for his earlier mistake with a magnificent save. Martinez beats Khocholava to a bouncing ball, 30 yards out, and attempts an immediate loop over the keeper, who had been on walkabout. Pyatov gets back and claws the ball wide right, saving a certain second for Inter. The resulting corner comes to nothing.

9.05pm BST

47 min: Bastoni clears in the unpretentious style. His blooter smacks his team-mate Gagliardini on the forearm. Shakhtar wants a farcical penalty, but Gagliardini wasn’t looking and was trying to make himself smaller. They’re not getting one.

9.03pm BST

46 min: Barella snaffles possession in the centre circle, and a better ball forward would have released Lukaku down the inside-right channel. Too much juice on the pass, and it sails through to Pyatov.

9.02pm BST

Shakhtar get the second half underway. According to BT Sport, they had 67 percent of possession in that first period, but didn’t muster a single shot on target. Presumably their manager Luis Castro has informed them of this and that, and the tempo will be raised accordingly. But we’ll see.

8.53pm BST

Half-time entertainment. One of the great Serie A matches from days gone by. Apologies to any Inter fans for stirring demons, though I’m working on the premise that enough time has passed by now.

8.48pm BST

Shakhtar have dominated possession, but done next to nothing with it. Inter have achieved very little ... bar the creation of a fine goal that was the result of a poor clearance. Both sides will feel they can do better; one will be happy enough despite it all, though. Inter are 45 minutes away from a final showdown with Sevilla and the chance of a first trophy in nine years.

8.45pm BST

45 min: So suddenly we can say that Shakhtar have finished the half strongly. They’ll be irritated to hear the whistle, which is coming in 60 seconds’ time.

8.44pm BST

43 min: More of the Shakhtar pinging. But this time there’s an end product, as their constant probing opens up a little pocket of space 25 yards out, allowing Marcos Antonio to cream a fine shot just over the bar. A few inches lower, and that was nestling into the top left, Handanovic wasn’t getting to it.

8.42pm BST

41 min: Shakhtar continue to ping it around without much in the way of forward thrust. With Charles Antaki’s email of 33 mins in mind, I hope they haven’t wasted their joker on this half.

8.40pm BST

39 min: This is all a bit underwhelming. We’ve been spoilt over the last few days, there’s no denying it.

8.39pm BST

37 min: Barella, who has been the most influential player on the park so far, tries to send Lukaku clear down the right with a scooped pass. Pyatov reads the danger well, coming out of his box to hack clear ... though he nearly sends the ball straight back to Barella, who might have fancied a dig at an unguarded goal from distance. He’s really pushing his luck now.

8.36pm BST

36 min: Marcos Antonio crosses from the right. Moraes rises to meet it, but he’s under severe pressure from D’Ambrosio and can only skim it out harmlessly to the left of goal.

8.35pm BST

35 min: Barella burst down the right and decides to have a dig from the edge of the box. His diagonal riser is heading towards the top right. Pyatov nearly helps it in there with a weak-wristed flap that just about qualifies as a save. Over the bar it goes, just. Nothing comes of the resulting corner. Pyatov is not covering himself with glory here.

8.33pm BST

33 min: “There was a game in the ancient days of It’s A Knockout where the competitor ran towards a target while held by an elastic rope, on ground covered with slippery foam. As they approached their goal, they were ineluctably pulled back to where they came from, having achieved nothing. Perhaps the programme still airs in the Ukraine.” Sports satirist / TV historian Charles Antaki, ladies and gentlemen. He’s here all week.

8.32pm BST

31 min: Lukaku backs himself in a footrace down the right, but Khocholava stays in it and hooks clear, just when it looked like the striker - on a hot streak in this tournament of nine scoring matches in a row since his Everton days - threatened to break clear.

8.30pm BST

29 min: Marlos tries to up the tempo for Shakhtar down the right. That run doesn’t pay dividend, but it seems to wake his side up, because Dodo makes his presence felt down the same flank and pulls back for Moraes, who tries to screw a shot into the bottom right. It’s deflected out for a corner, which leads to nothing, but that’s so much better from the Ukrainian champs, who have been a tad passive so far.

8.28pm BST

27 min: Young slips a ball down the left for Bastoni, who curls a magnificent ball across the face of goal. Somehow, Martinez, Lukaku and D’Ambrosio all get in each other’s way, and instead of one of them knocking home from six yards, the ball squirts wide left. The flag goes up to save the Inter trio’s blushes, but what a farce nonetheless. Someone had to pop that one away.

8.25pm BST

25 min: Otherwise, Shakhtar have been stroking it around in an aesthetically pleasing but not particularly dangerous style. Inter seem happy enough to let them be about their business.

8.23pm BST

23 min: Patrick flicks infield from the left touchline again. This time he’s not clattered by Godin, and Taison is allowed to skitter with great intent down the inside left. It’s an electrifying run, but one that’s stopped by De Vrij on the edge of the box. That’ll give Shakhtar some succour after conceding that fairly early goal.

8.21pm BST

21 min: A brief pause as D’Ambrosio and Khocholava accidentally clash heads. Both get back up after a dab down with the magic sponge.

8.20pm BST

Pyatov, in the Shakhtar goal, shanks a dreadful kick straight to Barella, who sashays down the right wing, shakes his hips, and crosses for Martinez. The striker eyebrows a lovely header into the left-hand side of the goal, leaving the flat-footed Pyatov red-faced as well. Great cross and finish, though.

8.18pm BST

18 min: Barella wedges a gentle pass down the inside-right channel but Martinez can’t bring it under his spell. The ball’s cleared.

8.17pm BST

16 min: A long ball down the middle. Moraes can’t get it under control. Godin mops up. This match has yet to start sparkling ... but then Leipzig-Atletico took a while last week, and that was worth sticking with. Plenty of time yet.

8.15pm BST

14 min: Lukaku has his first run at the Shakhtar defence. He drives down the right, forcing Matviyenko to backtrack, and he’s got Martinez in the middle. But he opts for a strange cutback that is totally aimless, nowhere near a team-mate. Shakhtar clear.

8.13pm BST

12 min: It took a while for Shakhtar to find their feet - Inter saw most of the ball in the early exchanges - but now the Ukrainian champions are keeping hold of it for the most part. All still in the very sterile style.

8.11pm BST

10 min: The careful probing continues. I guess we shouldn’t expect every game to begin like Bayern-Barca did on Friday. Or indeed end like it.

8.08pm BST

8 min: Both sides just putting out a few feelers right now. Patrick, Taison and Marlos paint pretty pictures down the right but can’t quite carve their way through the Inter back line and the final pass flies out for a goal kick.

8.06pm BST

6 min: D’Ambrosio robs a dithering Matviyenko down near the right-hand corner flag and dribbles towards the box, before drawing a clip from the full back and going down for the cheap foul. The free kick, just to the right of the box, is whistled straight over a crowded box by Brozovic.

8.05pm BST

4 min: It’s all a bit scrappy at the minute. Patrick tries a cute flick out on the left touchline and is told what’s what by Godin. A statement challenge, and a free kick. The referee narrows his eyes a little, but that’s the end of it.

8.02pm BST

2 min: That false start morphs into a slow one.

8.02pm BST

Inter get the ball rolling! And it goes flat within ten seconds or so. De Vrij stops and blooters it out of play. Shakhtar pick up another and consider launching an attack from the throw, but Antonio Conte gets involved, explaining to the ref and fourth official why his player has just launched it out. Common sense prevails and Shakhtar fling the ball back to Inter.

7.57pm BST

Here come the teams! Inter wear their storied blue and black stripes, while Shakhtar sport second-choice grey. Not sure why they can’t wear their orange and black, but there it is. The Europa League anthem parps apologetically out of the tinny PA. We’ll be off in a couple of minutes.

7.40pm BST

Breaking (but not exactly surprising) news: Quique Setien has been sacked by Barcelona. “The board of directors have agreed that Quique Setien is no longer the first-team coach,” a club statement read. “This is the first decision within a wider restructuring of the first team which will be agreed between the current technical secretary and the new coach, who will be announced in the coming days.”

The 61-year-old Setien only replaced Ernesto Valverde in January, and had signed a contract to stay at Camp Nou until summer 2022. But he failed to halt Real Madrid’s procession to the La Liga title, while his team were knocked out in the quarter-finals of the Copa del Rey by Atletico Bilbao. Friday night’s mind-bending 8-2 defeat at the hands of Bayern Munich was always going to be the last straw.

7.12pm BST

Pre-match reading. Contains bad news for Shakhtar, if the prediction of yesterday’s match is anything to go by.

7.05pm BST

Inter coach Antonio Conte names the same XI sent out to beat Bayer Leverkusen 2-1 in the quarters. His opposite number Luis Castro makes one change to the side named for the 4-1 win over Basel in the last round; Davit Khocholava returns from suspension to take Valeriy Bondar’s spot in the centre of defence.

7.03pm BST

Internazionale: Handanovic, Godin, de Vrij, Bastoni, D’Ambrosio, Barella, Brozovic, Gagliardini, Young, Lukaku, Martinez.
Subs: Sanchez, Moses, Sensi, Ranocchia, Valero, Eriksen, Padelli, Esposito, Pirola, Biraghi, Skriniar, Candreva.

Shakhtar Donetsk: Pyatov, Dodo, Kryvtsov, Khocholava, Matviyenko, Marcos Antonio, Stepanenko, Marlos, Alan Patrick, Taison, Moraes.
Subs: Dentinho, Tete, Konoplyanka, Solomon, Kovalenko, Maycon, Marquinhos Cipriano, Bolbat, Pikhalonok, Bondar, Trubin, Fernando.

5.47pm BST

Welcome to our coverage of the second Europa League semi-final, to be held this evening at the Düsseldorf Arena. Both of these teams were cashiered into the competition from the Champions League group stage, Internazionale failing to get past Barcelona and Borussia Dortmund, Shakhtar Donetsk losing out to Manchester City and Atalanta. Well, well, look who’s left standing.

Neither team will turn their nose up at the chance to compete for Europe’s secondary club prize. Inter haven’t won anything since 2011, while reigning Ukrainian champions Shakhtar’s sole European triumph was in this competition back in 2009. Everyone’s going into this match high on confidence, Inter having lost just one of their last 16 in all competitions, Shakhtar one of their last 15, both clubs have already qualified for next season’s Champions League via their domestic campaigns.

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Published on August 17, 2020 13:56

The Fiver | Imagine this read out in the sombre tone adopted post-match on BT Sport

Well that was quite the weekend for fans of schadenfreude. You’d have to be populating a very niche intersection on the great Venn diagram of life not to have found at least one of those results mildly amusing. All three if you’re lucky. The Fiver has no allegiances to anyone or anything, and as a result laughed so hard we got through five pairs of trousers and now require sodium supplements. But there are limits even to our nihilism. We’re not so far gone that we don’t realise good people are hurting. So please imagine the rest of this story being read out in the tone adopted by Gary Lineker on BT Sport in the wake of Manchester United’s latest semi-final defeat, a delivery so sombre it made Richard Dimbleby’s commentary on the state funeral of Sir Winston Churchill sound like the chorus of Agadoo.

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Published on August 17, 2020 07:56

August 15, 2020

Manchester City 1-3 Lyon: Champions League quarter-final – as it happened

Another year, another quarter-final defeat for City, who were undone by a controversial VAR decision, an astonishing miss, and a goalkeeping howler

11.17pm BST

Reaction from Pep Guardiola: “I don’t want to complain or look for excuses, we are out.”

10.33pm BST

Congratulations to Lyon, then, and commiserations to Manchester City, who can’t catch a break in this competition. Maybe next year. David Hytner was at the Estádio José Alvalade to witness their dramatic defeat; here’s his report. Enjoy that one, and thanks for reading this one. Nighty night.

10.30pm BST

Pep’s verdict is sporting, honest and dignified. “One day we will break this cup. The first 25 minutes we struggled. The second half, I had the feeling we were better. But you have to be perfect in this competition in one game, and we weren’t. Honestly, I don’t want to talk about the circumstances, it looks like I am complaining and finding excuses. We are out. We did a lot of good things, but it was not enough. We made mistakes in both boxes at key moments and that’s why we are out. We are disappointed but now we go to our holidays and come back soon to lift the players and club again and continue. Maybe one day we will break this cup.”

10.17pm BST

Kevin De Bruyne, who was his usual excellent self tonight, comes out to speak, and does so frankly. “Different year, same stuff. The first half wasn’t good enough, I think we know that. We started slow. But second half we played really well, came back 1-1 and had a couple of chances. and then 2-1 and 3-1 ends the game, and it’s shame for us to go out that way. I have not seen [the Laporte-Dembele tangle] back, but whatever they decide, they decide. I’m not going to blame that, we should have done better. Even at 2-1 if [Sterling] scores the goal it’s 2-2 and the game goes on. But that’s football, the fine margins that make the difference. We need to learn, man. It’s not good enough, and that’s it. It’s time to go home, it’s been a long season. I need to go home anyway because my wife is expecting any moment, so I have something to focus on personally ... but yeah, it’s hard.”

10.03pm BST

Lyon’s second, awarded despite a tangle of legs between Moussa Dembele and Aymeric Laporte, will be the focus of some City ire. It doesn’t alter the fact that this game should now be going to extra time. Raheem Sterling - who was otherwise City’s most dangerous player on the night - should have equalised for a second time, but leaned back and blazed over an open goal from six yards. His shock - everyone’s shock - at the miss was palpable. And then 59 seconds later, Ederson flapped and City’s fate was sealed. But set the details aside: when you boil it down, Lyon did a number on City, who didn’t really get going properly until there was trouble afoot. The French side defended doggedly, launched their breaks with verve and panache, and deservedly go through.

9.56pm BST

For the first time in the history of the Champions League, two French clubs have reached the semi-finals. Lyon will play Bayern Munich in the second of two France-Germany clashes on Wednesday evening, PSG and Leipzig contesting the other the night before.

9.54pm BST

And that’s it. Lyon cavort as the referee blows his whistle. City crumble as one to the floor. Jesus is in floods of tears.

9.53pm BST

90 min +5: Sterling, keen to make amends, dribbles hard down the right and enters the box. His shot is deflected and squirts across the face of goal. The resulting corner is claimed by Lopes. “I’m at a loss as to why Bernardo Silva didn’t play in this game,” writes Duncan Edwards. “He’s definitely hitting the target with both chances missed in the last 10 minutes by Jesus and Sterling. Pep always has to make some weird selection it seems.”

9.52pm BST

90 min +4: The box is loaded, but De Bruyne goes straight for goal yet again. Lopes is waiting for it and turns the vicious shot over the bar. From the resulting corner, hit long, Walker heads down and wide right. It’s over.

9.51pm BST

90 min +3: Sterling dribbles with great purpose down the left. He’s bowled over just outside the box. City simply have to score from this free kick. De Bruyne prepares to take.

9.50pm BST

90 min +2: City can’t get anything going. On the touchline, Guardiola, pain etched across his face, claps his encouragement. But he knows.

9.48pm BST

90 min: City have five extra minutes to find two goals and salvage their dream.

9.48pm BST

89 min: Poor Sterling looked utterly befuddled and bereft after that unbelievable Ronny-Rosenthal-on-the-end-of-a-stick miss. Goodness knows what’s going through his mind now.

9.46pm BST

A full 59 seconds after Sterling’s astonishing miss, Aouar tries to shape a shot into the bottom right from the edge of the City box. It’s weak and poor. Ederson, however, palms weakly and the rebound falls to Dembele, who dinks into the bottom right. What an astonishing sequence of events! What a sickener for City.

9.45pm BST

86 min: One of the most astonishing misses in the history of football, right here. Jesus scampers down the inside right. He pulls the ball across the face of goal for Sterling, who just has to tap home. But he leans back and blasts over from six yards!

9.43pm BST

85 min: David Silva comes on for Rodri.

9.43pm BST

84 min: Replays of that goal suggest City have been hard done by. Dembele and Laporte had come together as he started his run, the defender bowled to the ground. But both ref and VAR dude let it slide. You’ll probably hear more of this if City can’t find a second equaliser.

9.41pm BST

82 min: City stroke it around with a view to clearing their heads. Lyon are happy to sit back and let them do it.

9.40pm BST

80 min: There’s a long wait as VAR checks the offside decision, plus a tangle between Dembele and Laporte. But the goal stands. On the touchline, Guardiola looks utterly stunned.

9.39pm BST

Aouar splits the high City back line with a ball down the middle. It’s meant for Ekambi, who is offside, but he leaves it. Instead, Dembele picks up possession and romps clear. He sidefoots powerfully through Ederson’s legs and in!

9.36pm BST

77 min: Sterling sahsays down the left and stops inside the box. He carefully wedges across the face of goal for Jesus, all alone at the far post. It’s a ball worthy of an assist, but Jesus can’t strike the right pose and, his body shape all wrong, batters wide right from a close angle.

9.34pm BST

76 min: City are beginning to turn the screw now. Jesus scampers down the inside-left and twice attempts to get a shot away from a tight angle. He wants a penalty, one effort twanging off Marcelo’s hand, but the ref isn’t up for that one either, and quite rightly so: the defender’s arm was down by his side, and both players were right next to each other anyway.

9.33pm BST

75 min: A double change for Lyon. Dubois and Depay make way for Tete and Dembele.

9.31pm BST

73 min: Jesus drifts in from the left and whipcracks a shot towards the top left. Lopes does extremely well to turn it around the post. Nothing comes of the corner.

9.30pm BST

71 min: Lyon respond well, Cornet threatening to burst clear of Walker and into the box. Walker gives him a light brush on the back. Cornet goes down as though assaulted. He wants a penalty, but the referee isn’t having any of it. Much too theatrical.

9.29pm BST

What an equaliser! Mahrez slides Sterling away down the left. Sterling checks on the byline and pulls a brilliant ball back for De Bruyne who, rushing in, opens his body and creams a glorious shot across Lopes and into the bottom right! A really simple goal when you break it all down ... but a very pretty one too!

9.27pm BST

68 min: De Bruyne strides magnificently down the middle of the park, with Lyon backpedalling furiously. He reaches the edge of the box and skelps goalwards, but Denayer blocks.

9.24pm BST

66 min: After an extremely long period of contemplation, De Bruyne goes for the top right. His curler is always going high and wide.

9.23pm BST

64 min: Marcelo is booked for lumbering into Jesus, just to the left of the D. Another free kick, in an even more threatening position.

9.21pm BST

63 min: Marcal spots some space in the middle and drives into it, larruping a long-distance shot straight at Ederson. Easy for the keeper. “If Cornet’s goal decides this, will it be for Guardiola again: close, but no ice-cream?” David Crowther, ladies and gentlemen, the comedic if not literal descendent of Leslie.

9.19pm BST

61 min: De Bruyne floats one in from the left, but it’s a wee bit too high for Sterling at the far post. City are beginning to build some pressure, though, at long last.

9.19pm BST

60 min: De Bruyne loops over the wall and towards the bottom left. It’s a bit to measured, too timid. Lopes palms it away easily enough, a spectacular one for the cameras.

9.17pm BST

59 min: Marcelo barges into the back of Jesus, 25 yards from goal. A free kick in a very dangerous position, just to the left of centre. De Bruyne’s eyes light up.

9.16pm BST

58 min: Rodri is booked for a clip on the in-flight Guimaraes.

9.15pm BST

57 min: The corner’s not much good.

9.14pm BST

56 min: Cancelo wins a corner down the left. Before it can be taken, City take off Fernandinho, who is one challenge away from disgrace. Mahrez comes on in his stead.

9.13pm BST

55 min: City are seeing more of the ball, as ever, but it’s all a bit frantic. Nothing much coming off in the final third.

9.12pm BST

53 min: Fernandinho swings a cross in from the right. It’s totally aimless, and should be dealt with easily by Dubois, but he panics and heads out for a corner under no pressure. And then, the corner hit too long, he does it again, launching himself theatrically in the manner of Keith Houchen, a spectacular diving header with nobody behind him. Another needless corner, which City waste. A strange little cameo.

9.09pm BST

51 min: Depay is needlessly hauled over by Garcia, and it’s a free kick in a central position, the best part of 35 yards out. Depay fancies it, and after a long run-up, belts it straight at the wall. Full marks for ambition.

9.07pm BST

49 min: Cancelo twists his way down the left but just as it looks as though he’s clear, Denayer romps across to blooter the ball off his toe. He even wins a throw for Lyon, playing it off the City wing back. Pep strides the technical area anxiously.

9.06pm BST

47 min: Ekambi chases what looks a lost cause down the right, but backheels on the byline and the ball clanks off Laporte. Corner. Nothing comes of it, but it’s a positive start to the half by Lyon, immediately reminding City of their ability to launch attacks at great speed.

9.03pm BST

Lyon get the second half underway. No half-time changes.

8.53pm BST

Half-time entertainment. Heeeeeeere’s Johnny!

8.48pm BST

The whistle goes for half-time, just as City were finally building up a head of steam. They only started asking Lyon serious questions towards the end of the half. That should give them a little succour as they contemplate turning this around in the second half. Lyon, by contrast, will be more than happy with a very controlled performance and a fine goal.

8.47pm BST

45 min +1: A delicious outside-of-the-boot pass by De Bruyne, quarterbacking from deep. It releases Sterling into the box down the inside-right channel. But the angle is tight, and his route to goal is blocked by Cornet’s fine last-ditch lunge. Another corner, from which nothing occurs.

8.45pm BST

45 min: Another corner on the left for City, after some good work by Gundogan. Garcia heads it harmlessly wide.

8.45pm BST

44 min: De Bruyne makes space down the left and batters hard and low into the centre. Marcelo diverts out for a corner with Jesus lurking. Nothing much happens at the set piece.

8.43pm BST

42 min: Sterling tries down the right this time, and sits Cornet down with a lovely shake of the hips. He cuts back for Rodri, who slams a shot straight at Lopes, who needs two goes at getting the ball under control.

8.42pm BST

41 min: A few hard-but-fair challenges flying in right now, De Bruyne on Marcelo, Marcal on Walker. Quite a lot of frowns on City faces at the minute.

8.39pm BST

39 min: De Bruyne goes directly for goal again. Lopes punches clear again.

8.38pm BST

38 min: Both players are good to continue. The game restarts with Sterling’s baroque ramble down the left. Eventually he’s clipped to the ground by Denayer, who Sterling was beginning to tie in knots. Another free kick near the left-hand corner flag.

8.37pm BST

37 min: Fernandinho and Aouar clash while contesting a high ball. The Lyon player seems to have come off a little worse. A suggestion that Fernandinho led with the arm there. The referee deems it accidental, but Fernandinho really does need to rein it in, he’s asking for trouble right now.

8.36pm BST

35 min: City reestablish their dominance of the ball, but don’t do a great deal with it. On the sidelines, Pep sits back in his chair, gesticulating wildly and making observations in the trenchant style. He’s far from content.

8.34pm BST

33 min: Fernandinho clips Aouar from behind. It’s just a garden-variety foul, but the Lyon players remind the referee that Fernandinho’s on a booking, and they’ll be sure to do that again and again, whenever the City man transgresses. He’ll need to watch himself.

8.32pm BST

31 min: Cancelo makes good down the left. His cross is weakly punched by Lopes towards Gundogan, but the keeper makes amends by spreading himself well to deny the City midfielder a shot on goal. Better from City, though, who otherwise haven’t given Lopes too much to do.

8.30pm BST

30 min: Depay chips the resulting free kick over City’s high defensive line, but can’t find a team-mate in the box. Very poor.

8.29pm BST

29 min: Fernandinho is the second name to go in the book for a cynical tap on Aouar’s heel, as the Lyon midfielder dribbled adroitly down the middle of the park.

8.29pm BST

28 min: Jesus is clipped over by Denayer near the left-hand corner flag. De Bruyne takes the free kick and goes straight for goal. Lopes punches clear.

8.28pm BST

26 min: There’s a VAR check, in case Ekambi had gone too soon, but Walker was playing him on. Pep claps energetically on the touchline to whip up his troops.

8.26pm BST

Marcal launches a long pass from the left-back position. Ekambi springs the offside trap and races clear. Garcia does exceptionally well to hook-tackle him, but the ball breaks to Cornet, 30 yards out. Ederson is off his line, so Cornet curls a first-time shot around the slumped Ekambi and Garcia and into the bottom left!

8.23pm BST

23 min: See 20 mins, except it’s Cancelo passing to Sterling on the left. Sterling reaches the byline and cuts back to ... nobody. Jesus isn’t where he usually is.

8.22pm BST

21 min: De Bruyne powers through the middle and slips a pass down the left wing for Sterling to chase. But for once it’s not perfectly weighted - how uncharacteristic - and Denayer is able to come across and put a stop to Sterling’s gallop.

8.20pm BST

20 min: Dubois slips a cute diagonal ball into the box from the right, freeing Dubois, who cuts back to ... nobody. Depay’s not where he usually is. For a split second there, City were cut open.

8.19pm BST

19 min: Lyon are slowly imposing themselves, seeing a lot more of the ball than they did during the opening exchanges. So much for that aforementioned pattern.

8.18pm BST

17 min: It’s all gone a bit flat. None of last night’s trippy nonsense. Speaking of which ... “It was a decent performance from Bayern last night, but beating Barcelona in European competition isn’t such a big deal, at least not here in Dundee,” writes Simon McMahon, of course referring to United’s 100-percent, four-from-four win ratio in competitive football against the Catalan giants. “It’s as well for the European superpowers that Dundee United only came back up into the Scottish Premiership this season. I hear that they’re now calling Guardiola the ‘Spanish Micky Mellon’. I doubt even Pep could produce the tactical masterclass that saw United claim a 2-1 win in Dingwall today. Europe watch out!”

8.15pm BST

15 min: De Bruyne clanks into Aouar. The referee briefly considers booking him for hanging out a cynical leg, but is hypnotised by De Bruyne’s na-na-na wagging finger and changes his mind.

8.14pm BST

14 min: Cornet spends an aeon over a long throw that’s easily cleared. The game’s suddenly gone a bit like that.

8.13pm BST

12 min: Dubois picks up the first booking for a pointless late lunge on Cancelo, who was going backwards in his own half.

8.11pm BST

10 min: From the corner, Marcelo has a dig from distance. Ederson flops on the ball without drama. Both sides have now shown what they can do. A nice open feel to this game.

8.09pm BST

9 min: The game has settled a little, into a pattern that’s likely to be maintained. City are enjoying the bulk of possession, but Lyon are happy to tuck in, stringing five across the back, waiting for the chance to break. And here they come, though Ekambi down the left. He tear up the wing and wins a corner off Garcia.

8.07pm BST

7 min: Walker throws in from the right. Jesus tries to spin down the channel but is manhandled by Marcelo. He wants a free kick, and probably should get one, but the referee isn’t interested.

8.06pm BST

5 min: Now it’s City’s turn to suffer some heart-in-mouth angst, as Walker powerfully chests a right-wing cross back to Ederson, who makes a three-course meal of gathering as the ball heads for the bottom left. The keeper eventually smothers, but only after nearly squeaking into the corner.

8.04pm BST

3 min: City nearly replicate Bayern Munich’s fifth goal last night, Sterling taking the Alphonso Davies role by zipping in from the left and cutting back for Jesus/Kimmich. But there’s no chance of Jesus tapping home, because Marcal gets a crucial block in, and Marcelo blooters out for a corner. Nothing comes of the resulting set piece. So close to the opener, though!

8.03pm BST

2 min: Just as well for City that Garcia was sharp from the get-go, because for a second it looked as though the young midfielder was about to break clear.

8.02pm BST

City get the ball rolling. Both teams have a go at stringing a few passes together at high velocity. Then Caqueret threatens to latch onto a long hoof upfield, but Garcia is alert to the danger and steps across to intercept.

7.57pm BST

The teams are out. City are in their sky blue Puma shirts with mosaic effect, while Lyon sport second-choice Adidas black. We’ll be off once the official Champions League anthem has parped out of the PA, and captains Fernandinho and Memphis Depay exchange pennants. “There’s been 16 goals in the three quarter-finals so far,” notes Justin Kavanagh. “So chances are this one will have 0-0 and penalties written all over it.” There, that’s fate tempted nicely. Plenty of goals and a result after the regulation 90 minutes coming right up!

7.44pm BST

Pep Guardiola speaks. “I absolutely have trust in Eric Garcia. He has played in many important games and has specific qualities, that’s why he’s in the starting XI. Joao Cancelo plays good and aggressive, this is his country, and I want to give him a chance because I trust him a lot. Lyon in Europe has good results and is one of the greatest in France.”

7.30pm BST

It’s not very nice to kick people when they’re down. But it is good fun. Marie Meyer pulls on her best boots, takes a long run-up, and ... “Do you reckon City’s team selection means Eric Garcia sidled up to Pep this morning and said that, upon further reflection, he didn’t want to return to Barcelona after all?” Hoof! A solid connection, right in Barca’s special area. Anyone desirous of reliving last night’s action, and why wouldn’t you, can do so here. Enjoy, enjoy.

7.20pm BST

Mercurial Talent dept. Here’s Jonathan Wilson on the young man tasked with filling Sergio Aguero’s shoes ...

7.16pm BST

Round-of-16 retro MBM. City got here by telling Real Madrid what’s what at the Bernabeu and then again back home. Lyon made it past Juventus by winning at home and snaffling a crucial away goal in Turin.

7.13pm BST

Manchester City: Ederson, Walker, Eric Garcia, Laporte, Joao Cancelo, Fernandinho, Gundogan, Rodri, De Bruyne, Gabriel Jesus, Sterling.
Subs: Bravo, Stones, Zinchenko, Bernardo Silva, Silva, Mendy, Mahrez, Otamendi, Foden, Doyle, Palmer, Bernabe.

Lyon: Lopes, Denayer, Marcelo, Marcal, Dubois, Caqueret, Bruno Guimaraes, Aouar, Cornet, Depay, Toko Ekambi.
Subs: Diomande, Andersen, Da Silva, Dembele, Traore, Thiago Mendes, Reine-Adelaide, Cherki, Jean Lucas, Tete, Tatarusanu, Bard.

7.07pm BST

Manchester City make one change to the team named for the 2-1 win over Real Madrid the other Friday. Eric Garcia replaces Fernandinho in the centre of defence. Fernandinho moves into midfield, which means Phil Foden drops to the bench. Lyon meanwhile name the same XI sent out to get the job done at Juventus.

4.04pm BST

Manchester City’s relationship with the European Cup is long and complex. It also hasn’t really been that much fun, ever since Malcolm Allison promised that City’s 1968 league winners would attack their European Cup rivals “as they haven’t been attacked since the old Real Madrid”, only for them to be immediately cashiered from the competition in the first round by Fenerbahce. Since then it’s been a series of indignities in the modern era: failures to get out of the groups, shock quarter-final defeats, unlucky scrapes with VAR, all that. And let’s not bring the horn-locking with Uefa’s lawyers into this. City are long overdue a break.

Perhaps this, finally, is their year. Pep Guardiola’s team have just overwhelmed the 13-time winners and newly crowned Spanish champions Real Madrid, beating them home and away in the round of 16. They had been expected to face Cristiano Ronaldo and Juventus tonight, but instead of the Italian champs they’ll play Lyon, who were seventh in Ligue 1 when French football was abandoned for the season. Hats off to the French side for squeezing past Juve on away goals, but having lost the French League Cup final to PSG, they’re currently without a win in four either side of the break.

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Published on August 15, 2020 14:33

August 14, 2020

Barcelona 2-8 Bayern Munich: Champions League quarter-final – as it happened

Barcelona were an historic shambles, Bayern simply brilliant on a jaw-dropping night in Lisbon

10.24pm BST

A penny for the thoughts of Pep Guardiola, whose Manchester City will face Bayern in the semi-final should they see off Lyon tomorrow night. Goodness knows how that one would end, both sides blessed with outrageously good attacks but not quite so dependable defences. First things first for City, though, and the conquerors of Juventus will be no Barca-style pushover. Hope you can join us for that one tomorrow evening. In the meantime, here’s Jacob Steinberg’s take on an outrageous brouhaha in Lisbon. Enjoy that, and thanks for reading this report. Nighty night!

10.14pm BST

The view from Barcelona, courtesy of the good doctor.

Pique: “horrible game, dreadful feeling...shameful. It’s very hard. The club needs changes and I’m not talking about coach and players. Structurally we need changes of all starts. It’s not the first time, or the second, nor the third”.

Setien: “it’s too soon to say if I continue or not. It doesn’t depend on me.”

10.10pm BST

An extremely content Thomas Muller, the official man of the match, speaks. “It is tough to explain. In this moment our team is in an incredible shape. Thank you for the man-of-the-match trophy, but I think we have 12 or 15 more players who deserve this as well. We worked so hard, we worked with intensity, it is tough to beat us. We had so much fun today. They have special players, we have to be even more aggressive and come back again and again. There is a moment when we catch the ball and we have so much talent in the offensive line. We feel good. It is a big statement, but I think the next game, the semi-final, starts 0-0! We have to win the next game. We have to be relaxed and very happy, but when we wake up tomorrow we have to focus. We are not here to win the quarter, we are here to win the semi, and then the final. Most of the time after big wins, it’s more difficult so we have to be careful.”

9.56pm BST

Hans-Dieter Flick and Quique Setién embrace. The Bayern boss almost has to prop Setién up, so stunned is the Barca manager. Setién stumbles off out of sight. At least their fans weren’t in the stadium to deliver their verdict. Unfortunately a few TV cameras were whirring away and the word will be out back home. He’s a goner. Bayern, by contrast, were quite magnificent, a proper team unit in the sense that it’s very difficult to pick a man of the match for them, so well did everyone play. Special mention for Alphonso Davies, though, for the outrageous skill that set up Bayern’s fifth. And if you thought I was exaggerating by suggesting Bayern could have scored 15: they had 26 attempts at goal tonight, compared to Barcelona’s eight. Bayern even scored one of Barca’s for them.

9.50pm BST

Bayern were so good. Barcelona were beyond pathetic. It’s not all bad news for Barca, mind you: Bayern could easily have scored about 15.

9.48pm BST

90 min +1: Vidal shoves Tolisso in the chest, then slams the ball into the ground when penalised by the ref. He’s the second Barca player who could have seen red but is shown just yellow by the ref.

9.47pm BST

90 min: There will be two minutes of additional time. “Neymar must be glad he didn’t stick around long enough to become part of this Brazil 2014 Tribute Act,” quips Justin Kavanagh.

9.46pm BST

A ball swung left for Tolisso, who heads across for Coutinho, on the edge of the six-yard box. Touch, bang, eight. Barcelona are a risible disgrace.

9.44pm BST

88 min: Coutinho again down the left. Another shot, this one nearly deflected into the top left. A corner, that leads to nothing.

9.44pm BST

87 min: Quique Setién looks like a condemned man. Quique Setién is a condemned man.

9.43pm BST

Messi loses the ball and doesn’t bother trying to get it back. Muller slips a pass down the left for Coutinho, who shimmies into the box, cuts inside, and whips a shot into the bottom left. He doesn’t celebrate, parent-club protocol and all that. This is the first time since 1949 that Barcelona have conceded seven.

9.41pm BST

85 min: Kimmich is booked for irritating Suarez. And then ...

9.41pm BST

84 min: Nope. No offside! All good! Barca’s humiliation grows and grows. Hernandez and Tolisso come on for Goretzka and Davies.

9.40pm BST

83 min: VAR is checking this for offside. They’re taking an age.

9.39pm BST

Coutinho sha-booms down the left again and dinks infield for Lewandowski, who heads home from a couple of yards. Once again: it’s as easy as that.

9.38pm BST

81 min: Coutinho probes down the left. No way through this time. “Mes que un shambles,” suggests marketing guru Matt Dony.

9.35pm BST

79 min: Davies is unpretentiously hacked down in the 1970s style by Vidal, who brazenly waves his finger in the ref’s face upon the award of a free kick. The set piece leads to Coutinho winning a corner on the left; the corner leads to nothing.

9.34pm BST

77 min: Messi dribbles down the inside-left channel and takes a weak shot that’s easy meat for Neuer.

9.33pm BST

76 min: Boateng and Gnabry are replaced by Sule and Coutinho, coming on against his parent club.

9.32pm BST

75 min: I wonder how many Gerd Muller would have got tonight? A number too big for a brain to contain.

9.30pm BST

74 min: Lewandowksi has a crack from a tight angle on the left. He’s desperate for a goal. It’s how great strikers think.

9.29pm BST

72 min: Barca haven’t given up a chance for three minutes now. Another small acorn!

9.27pm BST

70 min: Busquets is replaced by Ansu Fati.

9.26pm BST

69 min: From the resulting corner, Gnabry has a shot blocked. They could easily have racked up ten tonight. They may still do. Barcelona are a sorry state indeed.

9.25pm BST

68 min: Davies is able to continue. Coman comes on for Perisic, and should score with his first touch, Semedo shipping possession out on the left, Lewandowski teeing him up, Alba deflecting his shot over the bar.

9.24pm BST

67 min: A pause as Davies and Semedo meet again. This time it’s a painful encounter for Davies, as the pair clash heads accidentally and the brilliant young full back comes off worse.

9.22pm BST

65 min: Barca have been faffing around at the back to an absurd degree all evening. Once again they give up possession like feckless dandies, allowing Kimmich to literally stroll into their box on the right. They’re extremely fortunate that Kimmich floats a weak cross into Ter Stegen’s arms.

9.21pm BST

This is a quite sensational goal. Davies is out on the left touchline. He’s faced by Semedo. He gives him the eyes, then shimmies his hips, and tears off from a standing start towards the byline. Semedo is toast. Pique backs off fatally, allowing Davies to dribble closer and closer to the goal, before reaching the left-hand post and pulling back for Kimmich to slam home. What a dribble that was! What a talent Davies is.

9.19pm BST

61 min: The ref goes over to tell the Barca bench to simmer down. They’re on a rolling boil over that Suarez free kick (i.e. very little).

9.17pm BST

59 min: Barca looked utterly listless before that goal. Now the fire’s back in their bellies. Perhaps a little too much? Suarez clips Goretzka, then Alba, incensed at the correct award of a free kick, flings the ball in anger at the referee! He should be walking for that, but instead it’s just a yellow. He doesn’t acknowledge the referee upon receiving the booking. He’s really pushing his luck.

9.14pm BST

Out of nothing! Messi swings a pass down the left for Alba, who pulls back for Suarez on the edge of the box. Suarez shapes to go inside, but drops a shoulder to send Boateng away, then steps into the box down the inside-left channel before whipping a shot into the bottom right. Game on?

9.13pm BST

56 min: Boateng gives away a needless corner with a misplaced backpass. Nothing happens at the set piece.

9.11pm BST

54 min: Suarez is booked for a late, frustrated clip on Thiago.

9.11pm BST

53 min: ... Bayern break upfield, four on three. Lewandowski barges down the left and cuts inside. He loses possession but the ball breaks to Muller inside the box. Muller rounds Ter Stegen and tees up Lewandowski, who slots home. But it’s disallowed, Muller having been caught well offside.

9.09pm BST

52 min: Davies is booked for flapping his arm in Vidal’s face. It’s a free kick to Barca, just to the right of the Bayern box. And from that ...

9.08pm BST

51 min: Kimmich floats a pass down the inside-right channel. Goretzka barrels through the huge hole in the Barca defence, chests down, and hoicks over. It’s fairly clear that Bayern have yet to declare.

9.06pm BST

49 min: Neuer launches a drop kick down the middle. Muller is suddenly clear of the Barca defence! It’s really that easy. Muller hasn’t quite got the pace to stay ahead of Langlet, but holds him off, spins, and tees up Perisic, who blazes a first-time daisycutter straight at Ter Stegen. A yard either side and that would have been the fifth, with Bayern having to do very little.

9.04pm BST

48 min: Lewandowski glances a smart header down the right to release Perisic. He cuts back but can’t quite find the in-rushing Muller. Barca mop up.

9.03pm BST

47 min: It’s already attack versus defence again. Lewandowski teases Semedo down the left. He thinks about crossing. Vidal arrives on the scene to blooter the ball away with extreme prejudice and great feeling.

9.02pm BST

Barca trudge back onto the pitch, defeat already writ large across every face. Bayern stop just short of walking on air. Barca have made one change, swapping Sergi Roberto for Antoine Griezmann. Bayern get the ball rolling again.

8.55pm BST

Half-time postbag ... because, well, y’know, come on, give me a break.

“Bayern’s pressing tonight is something that Klopp would be very proud of; they are relentless. I am decidedly not a fan of either of these clubs and do not like what their dominance/riches are doing to their respective domestic leagues, but I will put that aside for a moment and admit that this is excellent entertainment and that I am enjoying it hugely” - Adam Kline-Schoder

8.47pm BST

Bayern were magnificent going forward, but Barcelona’s defence ... goodness me. Unless he’s got the mother of all half-time speeches tucked up his sleeve, Quique Setién won’t be in a job this time tomorrow.

8.45pm BST

45 min: Suarez takes advantage of a loose ball 25 yards from the Bayern goal. He gives it a good old hoof, with much feeling, but it’s straight at Neuer.

8.44pm BST

44 min: Thiago swings a glorious pass wide right for Muller, who kills it and instantly sends Kimmich away down the channel. Barca would be in real trouble, but fortunately for them, Kimmich stands on the ball, effectively tackling himself.

8.43pm BST

42 min: Boateng is booked for cynically bringing down Suarez, as the Barca forward looks to launch a quick break. He had Messi on one side, De Jong on the other, so the Bayern defender can have no complaints.

8.41pm BST

41 min: Space for Semedo down the right, sent scampering away by Sergi Roberto. He crosses fiercely for Suarez, totally free in the middle ... but the flag goes up for offside. Barca may be a beaten docket at the back, but they’re still carrying a semblance of a threat up the other end.

8.39pm BST

39 min: Kimmich having won a corner, Lewandowski wins a header. Easy as that, practically unchallenged on the penalty spot. Barca are extremely fortunate that Lewandowski’s downward header is straight at Ter Stegen.

8.38pm BST

38 min: Davies drives down the left. Kimmich drives down the right. This is beyond embarrassing. Barcelona’s defenders are spinning like teenagers after three cans of warm Special Brew.

8.37pm BST

36 min: Ter Stegen and Pique get themselves into another awful muddle, allowing Perisic to steal the ball on the left-hand corner of the box. He whips towards the top right, but doesn’t get enough curl on his shot. Never mind! A fair chance another opportunity will be along in a minute.

8.36pm BST

35 min: Sergi Roberto’s clever flick allows Semedo to move towards the Bayern box on the right. But matters are soon over-complicated and the ball’s soon in Neuer’s hands.

8.34pm BST

34 min: A corner for Barcelona! Sadly it’s a complete non-event, but small acorns and all that.

8.33pm BST

32 min: Barcelona are a risible shambles. Goretzka drives down the middle and tries to pass the ball into the bottom-right corner from the edge of the D. A wee bit too cute, that, and Ter Stegen watches the ball trundle harmlessly past the post.

8.32pm BST

Lewandowski nearly wins a header from Perisic’s left-wing cross. Not quite. Kimmich returns it low towards the near post. Muller, channelling the Brazil-Germany game at the 2014 World Cup, pokes home from close range.

8.30pm BST

30 min: Just before Gnabry’s goal, a rumble in the Barca box gifted Lewandowski a half-chance he couldn’t convert from close range. Bayern are going to get a hatful tonight.

8.30pm BST

28 min: Lewandowski spins Busquets, 20 yards from goal, and he’s one on one with Ter Stegen. Yep, easy as that. It’s genuinely surprising that the net doesn’t bulge. Ter Stegen manages to get a block in, and nothing comes from the resulting corner.

8.28pm BST

Thiago lifts a pass down the middle. Goretzka turns it around the corner for Gnabry, who is free down the channel. Gnabry lashes into the bottom left, and this is quite sensational!

8.27pm BST

26 min: From the corner, Messi swings in from the right. He finds Lenglet at the far post. Lenglet heads wide left, but the offside flag goes up anyway.

8.26pm BST

25 min: Sergi Roberto is sent into space down the right by Messi. His low cross is nearly Djimi Traored into the bottom corner by Boateng, looking to join his team-mate Alaba in the own golazo (copyright Peter Oh) club.

8.24pm BST

24 min: Thiago glides in from the right and lashes a riser over the bar.

8.24pm BST

23 min: Meanwhile the needle on the Guardian’s Expected Goals tracker has sheared clean off, and smoke is pouring out of the back.

8.23pm BST

Sergi Roberto and Semedo faff around 30 yards from their own goal. Gnabry steals off with the ball and feeds Perisic to his left. Perisic strides into the box and lashes hard for the far corner. The ball takes a nick off Lenglet, foxing Ter Stegen, and flies into the top right. The keeper had no chance, and what power in the shot.

8.20pm BST

20 min: Messi dribbles hard at the ragged Bayern back line. He’s got an option to slip Semedo free to his right, but opts to shimmy inside instead. He opens his body and looks for the bottom left, but his powerful curler is snaffled by Neuer.

8.19pm BST

19 min: ... and then another, which is punched clear by Ter Stegen. Barca try to break through De Jong, who is kicked by Kimmich. It results in a loud yell, but no booking. Both teams have now got away with one.

8.18pm BST

18 min: From the corner, a free header for Goretzka. He should do better than sending it harmlessly over the bar. Barca play the goal kick out from the back, and immediately ship possession. That leads to another corner ...

8.17pm BST

17 min: Thiago slides a pass down the right channel for Gnabry, whose mere presence panics Alba into the needless concession of a corner.

8.16pm BST

15 min: This could, arguably should, already be 3-3. It’s a marvellous mess. Both defences have had an absolute shocker so far, and long may it continue.

8.14pm BST

14 min: Davies busies himself down the left, forcing Pique to concede a corner while surrounded by white shirts. The corner’s half cleared, then looped back into the Barca box. Muller tees up Lewandowski with a downward header, but his strike partner can only hook a bouncing ball over the bar.

8.13pm BST

12 min: Messi cynically clips an in-flight Davies. He should be booked, but, well, Messi.

8.11pm BST

10 min: This is getting really silly now! The corner on the right is worked back to Messi, who swings deep. Busquets is one of four Barca players lining up on the edge of the six-yard box. He misses his header, but the ball sails through and caroms off the left-hand post. Bayern clear, and the start of this game has been positively psychedelic.

8.10pm BST

9 min: This is beyond absurd. Semedo sashays in from the right and nutmegs the discombobulated Alaba. Suarez is clear in the box! He tries to Messi a chip over Neuer, but the keeper blocks out for a corner.

8.08pm BST

Bayern’s backline is sprung with similar ease, for the second time already. Jordi Alba skitters down the left. He curls into the centre for Suarez. Alaba, facing his own goal, takes a wild slash with his right peg and sends the ball on an absurd arc over Neuer and into the top right!

8.06pm BST

6 min: Muller celebrates his goal with wild delight. That seemed so very easy.

8.05pm BST

Bayern go straight up the other end and find the net! Perisic makes good down the left and crosses deep. Muller and Lewandowski combine just inside the area, down the inside-right channel, the latter hooking back to allow Muller to welt a shot into the bottom left. What a start!

8.04pm BST

3 min: But it’s Barca who nearly open the scoring, breaking upfield, Sergio Roberto racing down the right. He’s got Suarez in the centre, but can’t find him with his cross, Boateng intercepting and allowing Neuer to blooter clear.

8.03pm BST

2 min: It’s all Bayern in these extremely early stages, Muller and Perisic hovering menacingly in front of the Barca box.

8.02pm BST

Off we go! Barca get the ball rolling and give up possession quickly. Boateng launches it long, in the hope of releasing Muller down the middle. Too long. It could have been a sensational start with a better ball.

7.58pm BST

The teams are out! Barca are in their first-choice blaugrana checks, forcing Bayern into second-choice white. The Champions League theme pumps out of the Estádio da Luz PA. We’ll be off in a minute.

7.54pm BST

Barca and Bayern are the last two previous winners left in this season’s competition. Both have lifted the prize on five occasions, the Catalan giants in 1992, 2006, 2009, 2011 and 2015 ...

7.25pm BST

Round-of-16 retro MBM: Bayern got this far by skelping Chelsea, then skelping them again. Barca made it having followed a 1-1 draw in Naples with a 3-1 win at home.

7.19pm BST

Some unwelcome news from Barcelona. Samuel Umtiti, who is currently injured and isn’t in Lisbon with the squad, has tested positive for Covid-19. That’s the second positive test at Barca in a few days, Jean-Clair Todibo being the other.

7.12pm BST

Barcelona make two changes to the starting XI sent out to beat Napoli 3-1 last week, welcoming back Sergio Busquets and Arturo Vidal. Ivan Rakitic and Antoine Griezmann drop to the bench. Bayern name the same XI selected for the 4-1 breeze against Chelsea.

7.03pm BST

Barcelona: ter Stegen, Semedo, Pique, Lenglet, Jordi Alba, Sergi Roberto, Busquets, de Jong, Vidal, Messi, Suarez.
Subs: Rakitic, Dembele, Neto, Griezmann, Firpo, Pena, Puig, Fati, Araujo, Monchu, Mingueza, Reis.

Bayern Munich: Neuer, Kimmich, Boateng, Alaba, Davies, Thiago, Goretzka, Gnabry, Muller, Perisic, Lewandowski.
Subs: Odriozola, Sule, Javi Martinez, Coutinho, Cuisance, Lucas, Tolisso, Ulreich, Coman, Zirkzee, Hoffmann, Musiala.

1.27pm BST

Barcelona and Bayern Munich have met three times before at the business end of the European Cup. Each time, the result has been emphatic. In the 2009 quarters, Lionel Messi scored twice as Barca spanked Bayern 4-0 at Camp Nou, before earning a 1-1 draw in Munich. In the 2013 semis, Thomas Muller was the two-goal hero as Bayern trounced Barca 4-0 in the first leg, then embarrassed them 3-0 in Catalunya to complete a seven-goal rout. And in the 2015 semis, Messi scored twice again in a 3-0 home win as Barca laid the foundations for a 5-3 aggregate victory.

On each occasion, the winner of the tie went on to lift the trophy. On each occasion, there has been plenty of goals, On each occasion, one of the giants of European football has skulked away with a big, red, embarrassed face, tail between the legs. Most neutrals would take more of the same for tonight’s quarter-final showdown, I’ll be bound. This is a summit meeting between the only two previous winners left in the draw. It’s a one-off tie. It could go to extra time. It could even go to penalties. It’ll almost certainly cause one of football’s behemoths a whole world of pain. It’s on!

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Published on August 14, 2020 14:24

The Fiver | Willian, Arsenal and a brand new earworm. Ah yes, money

When news broke on Friday morning of Willian’s free transfer to Arsenal, the lyrics to that Smiths song naturally started jangling in The Fiver’s head. “Do you think you’ve made the right decision this time?” crooned lead singer Bernard Manning on the appropriately titled 1987 B-side London. But the man himself is sure that leaving Chelsea and heaving closer to Euston is a good career move. “I like the way they play,” is how he started explaining himself, presumably a conclusion reached while sitting in the stand for the FA Cup final and coming to the realisation that a defence with David Luiz in it is better than no defence at all.

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Published on August 14, 2020 07:56

August 13, 2020

RB Leipzig 2-1 Atlético Madrid: Champions League quarter-final – as it happened

Tyler Adams’ late, deflected shot sent Leipzig into the semis for the first time, as Atlético’s long wait for the European Cup goes on

11.12pm BST

The man of the moment ...

10.27pm BST

Here is Nick Ames’ report ...

10.06pm BST

It’ll be PSG v Leipzig in the first semi-final next Tuesday. Julian Nagelsmann races onto the pitch to celebrate with his players. Diego Simeone sportingly applauds his conquerors. Joao Felix, who changed the game for a while after coming on, looks thoroughly crestfallen. Thing is, Atletico were the better side when they switched into attack mode; the only problem was, they only seriously went for it after falling behind, and upon equalising soon drifted back into passivity and defensive caution, their default setting. Leipzig by contrast kept pressing for the duration, were rewarded for their more positive approach with a big slice of luck, and on balance deservedly go through to the semis. Congratulations to Leipzig, commiserations to Atletico, and thanks for reading this MBM. Same place tomorrow night? Why not? In the meantime, nighty night!

10.01pm BST

That’s it all right! Leipzig reach the semi-finals of the Champions League a mere 11 years after their formation; Atletico Madrid’s long painful wait for the big one goes on.

10.00pm BST

90 min +8: Felix swings one in from the left. Morata extends a leg, but Gulacsi punches clear. Another free kick, and that’s surely it.

9.59pm BST

90 min +7: Angelino is shoved towards the dugouts by Felipe. Haidara, on a booking, gets involved in the resulting melee. The referee calms everything down quickly enough.

9.57pm BST

90 min +6: But it’s surely all over as Gimenez slides in on Halstenberg and picks up a booking.

9.56pm BST

90 min +5: Gulasci gathers and does the clock-management thing. No final whistle yet.

9.56pm BST

90 min +4: Morata juggles in the Leipzig box, but the ball doesn’t drop for a shot. No luck for Savic either. This is bedlam. Leipzig somehow survive.

9.55pm BST

90 min +3: A wild moment as Atletico desperately press forward. A free kick on the left is totally missed by Gulcsi, on walkabout. Mukiele clears. Carrasco has a shot. Deflected. Corner.

9.54pm BST

90 min +2: Both teams make a change. Mukiele comes on for Sabitzer, while Felipe replaces Koke.

9.53pm BST

90 min +1: I suspect that goal will be taken off Adams and awarded to Savic. The shot looked like it was heading off to the left, and by some distance too.

9.52pm BST

90 min: There will be five added minutes.

9.52pm BST

89 min: Adams’ shot may have been off target, in which case it’ll be a cruel own goal. But it was a lovely move, and a quite stupendous defence-splitting, attack-launching first-time ball by Sabitzer. To Simeone’s immense credit, he applauds the goal that may have wrecked his dream.

9.50pm BST

Angelino is sent scampering down the left by a stunning reverse ball from Sabitzer. He pulls back for Adams, in acres, just outside the box. Adams lashes goalwards, towards the bottom left. Oblak dives after it, but it takes a huge deflection off Savic, standing on the penalty spot, and twangs past the committed keeper and into the net!

9.48pm BST

86 min: Haidara’s first meaningful act is to pick up a booking for a tug on Llorente.

9.45pm BST

85 min: Trippier delivers. Upamecano clears. This is delightfully tense as extra-time looms.

9.45pm BST

84 min: Angelino needlessly lunges in on Morata as the Atletico striker grooves down the right. A free kick that’s essentially a corner.

9.44pm BST

83 min: Leipzig have been under the cosh since conceding, so here comes a double change to refresh things in attack: Schick and Haidara come on for Nkunku and Olmo.

9.43pm BST

82 min: Llorente smoothly glides in from the right wing and is unceremoniously tugged back by Kampl. Booking.

9.42pm BST

80 min: Carrasco and Lodi combine down the left and win a corner. From the set piece, Carrasco cuts in and takes a shot that’s deflected wide for another corner. From the second one, Morata clean misses a header from ten yards.

9.39pm BST

78 min: A little space and time for Nkunku, 25 yards out in a central position. But he takes all day to consider his options, when putting his foot through it was the clear decision. He eventually gives up possession and Atletico stroll clear. A half-chance gone, there.

9.38pm BST

77 min: It’s all Atletico right now. Trippier nearly frees Felix into space down the middle. Then he and Llorente combine well down the right but the final ball’s not quite there.

9.36pm BST

75 min: Gimenez treads on Olmo’s foot. Free kick. Leipzig load the Atletico box. Atletico clear with ease. The Spaniards look so much more confident now.

9.35pm BST

73 min: Angelino works his way down the left again with great success. He slips a ball across the face of the box for Sabitzer, who spins and shoots wildly over. The first half wasn’t much cop, but this has been great fun since the opening goal.

9.33pm BST

72 min: Felix made the one-two in the build-up to the penalty with Costa. That’s a huge last contribution by Costa, who is replaced by Morata. Meanwhile Leipzig swap Laimer with Adams.

9.32pm BST

Felix, back in his home town, whip-cracks the penalty into the bottom left. Gulacsi guessed correctly, but the shot was hit too sweetly. What an impact the young sub has made!

9.31pm BST

70 min: Felix has been a constant danger since coming on, and he opens Leipzig up with a one-two down the middle. He enters the box and prepares to shoot. Klostermann comes across in a last-ditch attempt to block, but clumsily takes his man down. A no-brainer of a decision for the ref, and a booking for the defender.

9.30pm BST

68 min: Felix tricks his way on the left and feeds Carrasco down the channel, but Upamecano stands firm and forces the Atletico midfielder to run the ball out for a goal kick.

9.28pm BST

67 min: Angelino dances in from the left and tees up Poulsen, who started with Leipzig in the third tier, and went back to his roots with a dismal shank from the edge of the box.

9.27pm BST

65 min: Costa gives Upamecano a sly nick from behind. It’s not worth anything more than a free kick, but it relieves a little pressure that had been building on Leipzig, and the clock ticks on. Atletico can’t really afford too much nonsense right now.

9.25pm BST

64 min: ... Gimenez gives away a free kick while trying to stab the ball away from Nkunku. Gulacsi has still only had one save to make this evening.

9.24pm BST

63 min: Felix is already making a difference, though. He fizzes down the left and draws a foul from Laimer. The resulting free kick is headed behind by Klostermann. One corner from the left leads to another, and ...

9.23pm BST

61 min: Felix drives at a hastily backtracking Leipzig back line. Reaching the box, he slips a pass down the left-hand channel for Lodi, who taps the ball past Upamecano, then falls, hoping for a penalty. But Upamecano had resisted the lunge just in time, and Lodi went over some fresh air. Lodi’s booked as a result.

9.20pm BST

59 min: Trippier curls in from the right. Costa shapes to hit a Zidane-style volley, but the ever-excellent Upamecano reads the danger and heads the dropping ball clear just in time.

9.19pm BST

58 min: The first change of the evening as Herrera is replaced by Joao Felix.

9.18pm BST

57 min: Upamecano is allowed to romp up the centre of the pitch, reaching shooting distance. He sends a pea-roller into the arms of Oblak. No harm done this time, but Atletico were uncharacteristically lax and asking for trouble there.

9.17pm BST

55 min: Olmo clips the heel of Niguez in the centre circle. Something else for Simeone to critique.

9.15pm BST

53 min: Trippier slips a pass infield from the right, releasing Llorente into a fair bit of space. He enters the box, but Upamecano comes across to make his presence felt, and Llorente loses control, allowing the ball to run through to Gulacsi, who smothers. An instant reminder that Ateletico have the attacking chops ... they just need the encouragement to show them.

9.12pm BST

51 min: It’s fair to say the game needed that.

9.12pm BST

But Leipzig have had the better of it since the restart. They’ve kept hold of the ball a bit better, pinging it around patiently. Then, all of a sudden, Laimer slips a pass down the right. Sabitzer elegantly chips it inside, and Olmo guides a clever header across Oblak and into the bottom left! That’s a lovely team goal, and what a clever finish!

9.09pm BST

48 min: It hasn’t taken long for the scrappiness of the first half to return.

9.07pm BST

46 min: Leipzig are immediately on the front foot, Nkunku trying to latch onto a poor clearing header by Trippier. But it doesn’t quite drop. Atletico swarm and clear properly this time.

9.06pm BST

Leipzig get the second half underway. No changes. We’re just 45 minutes plus stoppages from extra time ... unless someone can carve out a proper opportunity. And that’s not beyond the realms. Someone could do that.

8.53pm BST

Half-time entertainment. It’s the big summit meeting tomorrow evening. Here’s Andy Brassell with news of tomorrow’s match ... today!

8.51pm BST

Look at it this way: we’re 45 minutes closer to the pomp of the final / the joy of Christmas / the ultimate sweet release.

8.50pm BST

45 min +4: Carrasco has his ankle clipped by Klostermann out on the left. A free kick and a chance

for Simeone to go wild again, waving his imaginary card
to load the box. The free kick’s swung in and met by the bandaged head of Savic, who pings his effort harmlessly wide.

8.48pm BST

45 min +2: Nkunku moves through a couple of gears and his sudden spurt earns a corner out on the left. Nkunku takes himself. Upamecano wins a header on the penalty spot and powers it goalwards ... but straight at Oblak. Either side and that was surely the opener.

8.46pm BST

45 min: There will be four bonus minutes. And who would want this half of football to ever end?

8.45pm BST

44 min: Nowt is going on. I strongly suspect - and I’m not going too far out on a limb here - that Diego Simeone will be the happier of the two coaches at this state of affairs.

8.44pm BST

42 min: Laimer whips a glorious cross into the box from a tight spot out on the right. Trippier is forced to head out for a corner. Nothing comes of the set piece.

8.42pm BST

41 min: Some head tennis in the Atletico box, instigated by Poulsen. The ball drops to Laimer, just to the right of the six-yard box. Instead of directing his header goalwards from a tight angle, he nuts it back across the face of goal to absolutely nobody. Wrong choice.

8.41pm BST

40 min: And battle does recommence, with Upamecano dispatching Llorente into the hoardings behind the goal, conceding a corner by cleaning out both ball and man. No foul, strangely, and the resulting corner leads to nothing. This is good unclean fun, in a strange old-school way.

8.39pm BST

38 min: Both players are good to continue, Savic’s head wrapped in bandages, Terry Butcher style. And even though this game was beginning to boil up, there’s no hard feelings after this particular incident, the pair exchanging smiles and a few words before battle recommences.

8.38pm BST

37 min: Both trainers are currently stemming the flow of blood. Savic looks to have come off a little bit worse, with a big cut above his eye. Halstenberg’s wound is on top of his head, and he seems in much less pain.

8.36pm BST

35 min: Ooyah, oof! Savic and Halstenberg both go up for a high ball, all eyes trained on their orb of desire. As a result, they smash heads in mid-air at high velocity. That’s gotta hurt.

8.35pm BST

34 min: As a result, the actual play is a complete mess.

8.34pm BST

32 min: An edge is emerging, as we always knew it would. Olmo sneakily shoves Lodi off the pitch. Lodi rolls around, and his manager makes the card mime again, then sticks up eight digits as though to say “that’s his eighth foul”. The referee won’t be moved, though, and we play on again. But the temperature is rising.

8.32pm BST

30 min: Niguez rises highest in an aerial duel with Sabitzer, and plants his knee in his opponent’s back. It looked accidental, all part of an honest attempt to win the ball and another everyday foul, but now it’s the turn of Leipzig to raise Cain. The referee quite rightly tells everyone to pipe down.

8.30pm BST

28 min: Laimer nudges Lodi over with a boom-chicka of the hip. A saucy foul, albeit a garden-variety one in the midfield. On the touchline, Simeone waves the imaginary card, which is sauce of a completely different stripe. No need, really, but then again, would you have him any other way?

8.28pm BST

27 min: Carrasco Neymars a shot miles high and wide. All a bit hysterical. Atletico really haven’t done much in attack.

8.27pm BST

25 min: Savic blooters a clearance upfield. It smacks Gimenez on the elbow, just inside the box. Leipzig want a penalty, but they’re not getting one, and rightly so. They do get a free kick out on the right, though, Laimer bowled over by Lodi. Nkunku swings it in, but Halstenberg can’t get his head to it. Atletico clear.

8.25pm BST

24 min: A lot of space for Poulsen down the right. Another poor ball ruins everything, Klostermann just about stopping a heavy pass down the channel running out of play, Savic strolling across to clear.

8.23pm BST

22 min: Olmo drives at the Atletico defence, then slips wide left for Nkunku. Leipzig are two-on-one on that flank, but Nkunku’s pass down the channel for the overlapping Angelino is appalling and cleared by Trippier. Another fine situation messed up.

8.22pm BST

20 min: Carrasco steals away from Laimer and breezes off down the left. He’s clear, but upon reaching the byline his pullback is dreadful. It’s blocked, and comes back off Carrasco for a goal kick. That was a promising position for a couple of seconds.

8.20pm BST

19 min: Herrera is clipped by Kampl out on the right, and it’s another free kick midway into Leipzig territory for Atletico. Carrasco swings it in. Halstenberg deflects it away from Niguez, who was racing in at the back post, preparing to slam a shot goalwards. A fine defensive intervention.

8.18pm BST

17 min: Kampl tries to send a rising diagonal shot into the top right from the best part of 30 yards. Full marks for ambition, if little else.

8.17pm BST

16 min: After a preposterous amount of time, VAR finally decides no crime has been committed, and we play on.

8.16pm BST

14 min: The corner’s swung in and met by Gimenez, whose powerful header clanks off the back of a nearby defender. Niguez tries to pick up the loose ball, but trips over his own feet while next to Gulacsi. Atletico want a penalty, though, and VAR is going to check.

8.14pm BST

13 min: ... then break upfield, Carrasco exchanging passes with Lodi and creaming a shot towards the bottom left. Gulasci has to turn round the post. Fine save. Corner.

8.13pm BST

12 min: Upamecano strides forward elegantly before rolling a right-to-left pass towards Poulsen in the middle. Poulsen dummies, leaving it for Angelino, tearing in from the wing. Angelino smashes it, but only straight at Trippier. Atletico clear ...

8.11pm BST

10 min: Lodi hoicks the free kick long, and Savic attempts to guide a looping header into the top right. Gulacsi claims, though for a second it looks as though he’s misjudged the flight, getting under the ball, and nearly falls over his own goalline. He stops himself just in time.

8.10pm BST

9 min: All a bit scrappy now. Costa purchases a cheap free kick just inside the Leipzig half.

8.09pm BST

7 min: Lodi advances incrementally, yard by yard, a quarter of the way up the pitch while pretending to take a throw-in. When he eventually flings it in, Nagelsmann gesticulates in cold fury at the linesman. Nothing comes of the set piece, but Simeone will be pleased that his wily team have got under his opposite number’s skin already.

8.06pm BST

5 min: Simeone is already extremely animated on the touchline. His team haven’t started yet at all. They’re lucky Halstenberg couldn’t keep that shot down, because it would have removed the net from its moorings.

8.05pm BST

3 min: Sabitzer’s right-wing cross forces Atletico to concede an early corner. From the set piece, Olmo swings into the mixer, and the ball drops to Halstenberg, who blazes a fine chance high over the bar from eight yards. A strong start by Leipzig.

8.03pm BST

2 min: Upamecano gently eases Costa away from the ball, much to the striker’s chagrin. He attempts to instigate a back-and-forth with the referee about it, but the official isn’t interested. This could be a very interesting duel.

8.02pm BST

Madrid get the ball rolling. They ship possession pretty quickly, allowing Leipzig to have the first significant feel of the ball. Nkunku briefly threatens to break down the left, but the space is closed in short order. Both teams represented in microcosm by the first 25 seconds or so.

8.00pm BST

Before kick-off, a minute’s solemn silence for the tragic victims of the Coronavirus. RIP.

7.59pm BST

Here come the teams! Leipzig are in their first-choice white shirts and red shorts, which means Atletico sport an all-black change strip. We’ll be off in a minute or two!

7.54pm BST

Diego Costa: the debate. “Diego Simeone’s attention to detail is impressive,” begins Peter Oh. “The photo of the Atlético warm-up suggests that the players are practising that universal motion of disbelief at having witnessed a massive chance completely wasted. (See the PSG bench after Neymar missed that early sitter yesterday.)”

7.21pm BST

Round-of-16 retro MBM. Leipzig made it here by beating Spurs 1-0 away, and 3-0 back at their place. Atletico meanwhile did a number on Liverpool in Madrid, then another at Anfield. We present these in the spirit of entertainment or catharsis, depending on your viewpoint.

7.15pm BST

Leipzig opt to fill that big Timo Werner-shaped gap with Yussuf Poulsen. Emil Forsberg has to make do with a place on the bench.

A big decision up front by Atletico, too. No place in the starting XI for Alvaro Morata, as Diego Costa is given the nod.

7.08pm BST

RB Leipzig: Gulacsi, Klostermann, Upamecano, Halstenberg, Laimer, Sabitzer, Kampl, Angelino, Olmo, Poulsen, Nkunku.
Subs: Orban, Haidara, Forsberg, Adams, Lookman, Schick, Mukiele, Mvogo, Tschauner, Borkowski, Novoa, Wosz.

Atletico Madrid: Oblak, Trippier, Savic, Gimenez, Renan Lodi, Koke, Herrera, Saul, Carrasco, Llorente, Costa.
Subs: Adan, Arias, Thomas, Joao Felix, Morata, Lemar, Saponjic, Felipe, Vitolo, Hermoso, Manuel Sanchez, Moya.

12.54pm BST

Somewhere in the multiverse of infinite outcome and opportunity, a rerun of last year’s final between Liverpool and Tottenham Hotspur will be played out tonight. But here on Planet Reality, the conquerors of the reigning champions and last season’s runners up face each other at the Estádio José Alvalade in Lisbon for the right to play Paris Saint-Germain in next Tuesday’s semi-final.

Leipzig battered Spurs in the round of 16. Julian Nagelsmann’s exciting side won 1-0 in north London, then 3-0 back home, reaching the club’s very first European Cup quarter-final in style. Atletico meanwhile saw off Liverpool after weathering a second-half storm at Anfield, then putting their foot on the gas the minute opportunity arose in extra-time, a Diego Simeone masterclass.

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Published on August 13, 2020 14:11

The Fiver | Hooray for the billionaires! Here’s to their success

There’s an old Peter Cook riff that runs something along the lines of: “People sometimes ask me why, as a member of the working classes, I vote for the Conservative party. The reason is quite simple. It is because I am a stupid [cee].” The Fiver can buy into this line of thinking, and we were positively delighted on Wednesday night to see the romantic, heartwarming story of little Atalanta come to an abrupt end at the hands of a shapeless, tactically inept monied rabble who were able to haul themselves out of the mire by sending on the emergency cavalry in the shape of a once-in-a-generation €180m sensation they just happened to have knocking around on the bench. Hooray for the billionaires! Here’s to their success, and the concomitant trickle-down effect we’ll all benefit from at some unspecified point in the future, a reward we’re sure we’ll reap because the Fiver is a stupid cu[snii-i-iip! – Fiver Ed.]

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Published on August 13, 2020 08:26

August 12, 2020

Atalanta 1-2 Paris Saint-Germain: Champions League quarter-final – as it happened

Atalanta were on the verge of the semi-finals when PSG stunned them with a last-ditch two-goal salvo

11.21pm BST

The match-winner.

10.24pm BST

Here is Barney Ronay’s report.

10.05pm BST

Pretty much everyone on the pitch has their hands on their heads. Either in dumbfounded joy, PSG’s players having sensationally wriggled out of trouble, or in utter despair, Atalanta seemingly having done enough to shock tonight’s favourites and make it to the semis. On his cooler box, Thomas Tuchel sits, smiles and shakes his head in disbelief. Gian Piero Gasperini wears the thin-lipped grimace of a man who’s just realised someone’s made off with his wallet. It’s a thin line between success and failure, and those two late goals could well have saved Tuchel’s job. Which is fair enough, seeing his second-half changes tilted the tie in his team’s favour ... eventually. PSG will play either Leipzig or Atletico Madrid next Tuesday. What a start to this unique Champions League carnival, though! Not the goal-fest we anticipated, but rollocking entertainment nonetheless. Congratulations to PSG, commiserations to Atalanta. The other six teams have a hell of a lot to live up to. Thanks for reading this MBM. Nighty night!

9.58pm BST

The whistle goes! PSG make it to the semis for the first time since 1995, breaking their modern-day quarter-final curse in dramatic style! Poor old Atalanta crumble, having come so close.

9.58pm BST

90 min +6: De Roon batters long. Muriel is clear down the inside-left channel! But under pressure from Marquinhos and Kehrer, on his shoulder, he overruns the ball. He can’t get a shot away and runs the ball out of play. What a chance to save themselves. What an absurd end to this match!

9.55pm BST

90 min +4: PSG pile on, a delighted tangled mess of joy. Atalanta hold heads in hands. They’re stunned. They can’t believe what’s just happened to them. Four minutes from their first Champions League semi-final, and now look! Utter heartbreak for the underdogs. Sportiello, who could do nothing about it, punches the ball away in despair.

9.54pm BST

What a smash and grab! Kehrer, in a central position just outside the box, slips wide for Neymar, who plays an instant pass down the left for Mbappe. An instant low cross, and Choupo-Moting rams home. What drama here!

9.52pm BST

90 min +1: A sickener for Atalanta, who never looked seriously troubled. And they’ll have to play the rest of the game, and possible extra time, with ten men, because Freuler has taken a big whack to the leg.

9.51pm BST

Out of nothing! Choupo-Moting cuts in from the right and crosses deep for Neymar, who brings the ball down at the far post. He crosses for Marquinhos, who prods home from close range, the ball deflecting off Caldara en route.

9.49pm BST

89 min: Mbappe nearly bustles his way clear down the inside-left channel, but Caldara does extremely well to stand firm, block and clear.

9.47pm BST

87 min: There’s bound to be plenty of added time, so PSG shouldn’t enter Panic Mode quite yet. But here’s Draxler hoicking miles over the bar from long distance. On the touchline, Thomas Tuchel, perched on his Bielsa-lite cool box, throws his arms wide open in impotent frustration.

9.46pm BST

86 min: From the resulting corner, Choupo-Moting heads over from ten yards! What a chance! Atalanta breathe again.

9.45pm BST

85 min: Palomino is booked for bundling over Neymar. Then Choupo-Moting fires in from the right, forcing Caldara to slice hysterically over his own crossbar. The first sign of Atalanta nerves, now they’re getting so close.

9.44pm BST

84 min: Neymar is dropping deep in the hope of inspiring a revival. But nothing’s coming off at the moment.

9.42pm BST

82 min: A double change for Atalanta, as Gosens and Zapata make way for Castagne and Da Riva.

9.41pm BST

80 min: Navas finally departs, Rico coming on. Choupo-Moting replaces Icardi. Then two chances for Mbappe inside a minute, as he first shoots straight at Sportiello, then threatens to zip clear down the left, but he’s closed down by a combination of Palomino and Sportiello.

9.40pm BST

79 min: Neymar skedaddles down the left. Caldara tries to rugby tackle him but grasps at fresh air. Neymar then runs the ball out of play, under pressure from Palomino.

9.37pm BST

78 min: Neymar is down having been stripped of possession by De Roon. There was nothing in the challenge, though, and we play on. Neymar gets up.

9.36pm BST

77 min: Neymar dribbles gracefully down the inside-left channel, but upon entering the box scuffs a shot straight at Sportiello.

9.36pm BST

76 min: Muriel turns the ball around the corner down the Atalanta right, and nearly releases Hateboer, but his team-mate can’t stop the ball going out for a goal kick. Navas claims, while limping. It’s not clear why he’s still on.

9.35pm BST

74 min: Parades is involved immediately, flicking a lovely ball around the corner and sending Mbappe clear down the left. Mbappe tears into the box, but momentarily seems to lose control. He regains his poise and flips towards the bottom left. Sportiello sticks out a boot to kick clear. That looked like PSG’s moment.

9.32pm BST

72 min: But Navas insists he’s good to go! Rico has to sit back down, after a minute of great confusion. PSG have still made a couple of changes, though. Herrera and Gueye are replaced by Paredes and Draxler.

9.30pm BST

71 min: Nope. Sergio Rico prepares to come on in his stead.

9.30pm BST

70 min: Muriel comes on for the goalscorer Pasalic. And there’s a problem for Navas, who is down holding his hamstring. I’m not sure he’ll be able to continue.

9.29pm BST

69 min: PSG have been hogging the ball. So Zapata does extremely well to steal it off Neymar and draw a foul that gives his team-mates a breather.

9.27pm BST

67 min: Toloi sticks an arm across Mbappe and gets a yellow card for his trouble. Mbappe’s already established that he’s got the Atalanta defender on toast; Toloi has a real problem on his hands now.

9.25pm BST

65 min: Mbappe sends Toloi’s fire engine off to the wrong fire with a drop of the shoulder. That was so cute. He tears down the wing and slips inside for Neymar, who instantly runs into trouble. But this is much better from PSG, who look much happier and more dangerous now Mbappe is on.

9.23pm BST

63 min: Toloi is foxed by a sassy Mbappe flick down the left. But he makes up for it seconds later as he powerfully heads a PSG free kick clear of a loaded box.

9.22pm BST

62 min: Neymar drives with poise and purpose at the Atalanta defence. For a second, it looks as though he’ll open the Italians up, but Freuler stands firm and stops his gallop just outside the box. That’s such a fine challenge.

9.20pm BST

60 min: The first changes of the evening. Atalanta replace Gomez and Djimsiti with Palomino and Malinovskyi, while PSG send on Mbappe. He takes the place of the near-invisible Sarabia.

9.18pm BST

58 min: Atalanta should be two up. The free kick’s swung into the mixer. PSG allow their opponents to win two headers, then the ball falls to Djimsiti, just to the left of goal, six yards out. He slashes wildly wide in Neymarian fashion. What a chance that was!

9.17pm BST

57 min: Herrera is the latest to go into Anthony Taylor’s Big Yellow Book for a laughably crude lunge into the back of Gomez.

9.15pm BST

55 min: Zapata is checked by Bernat, who seems to be midway through a moment of madness. No second yellow, but it’s a free kick. PSG half clear it. De Roon tries to return the ball into the top left, but his fierce swipe is always sailing high and wide.

9.14pm BST

54 min: Bernat is booked for a clip on Pasalic. There wasn’t much in that, either. The referee is a bit card-happy this evening.

9.13pm BST

52 min: Zapata becomes the fourth Atalanta player to go in the book. This one’s a bit harsh, for a shove on Kehrer as the pair contest a 50-50 ball. But out pops the yellow.

9.11pm BST

51 min: The resulting free kick is a good 35 yards out. Neymar takes a pop anyway, and his ambitious low drive is deflected out by De Roon for a corner. The set piece is a total non-event.

9.10pm BST

50 min: De Roon is booked for brazenly tugging Neymar’s shirt. PSG’s best chance could end up being Atalanta’s indiscipline.

9.08pm BST

48 min: ... nothing. But on the touchline, Tuchel wears a look of stunned incredulity, scarcely able to believe the amount of time De Roon was given to advance on the PSG box and line up his shot.

9.07pm BST

47 min: De Roon drops a shoulder and has a dig from distance. Marquinhos closes him down, and the ball loops out for a corner. One corner leads to another, which leads to ...

9.06pm BST

46 min: PSG have clearly been told what’s what by Thomas Tuchel, as they fly out of the blocks, Kehrer and Gueye taking turns to drive at the Atalanta defence. The ball ends up looping harmlessly into the arms of Sportiello, but that’s an early statement of intent.

9.05pm BST

Here we go again, then. PSG have 45 minutes to save themselves from another humiliating quarter-final exit. No changes. Kylian Mbappe hasn’t been risked yet, but he’s been warming up on the pitch during the half-time break so we’ll no doubt see him soon enough if PSG don’t get their act together.

8.52pm BST

Half-time entertainment. Here’s our man Jacob Steinberg with news of tomorrow’s match ... today!

8.50pm BST

The underdogs are halfway towards their first-ever Champions League semi-final. The normally super-sharp Neymar should spend half-time digging out a new pair of shooting boots.

8.48pm BST

45 min +1: Freuler is booked for manhandling Neymar in the centre circle. [Not a euphemism]

8.47pm BST

45 min: Neymar whips the free kick in violently, but with Marquinhos steaming towards the ball, Caldara eyebrows it clear.

8.47pm BST

44 min: Caldara nicks Neymar’s heel as he races down the right. Another free kick that allows PSG to load the box.

8.46pm BST

42 min: Another absurd Neymar miss! Hateboer plays a clueless backpass to nobody, and Neymar is racing off down the PSG left! He romps towards the box, and surely must score ... but he slices a wild and frankly awful effort miles high and left of the target, with Sportiello surprised and stranded in no-man’s land! That is preposterous. He’s been sent clear three times! Never mind not scoring; he hasn’t even made the keeper work once.

8.43pm BST

41 min: Sarabia drives down the left, having been released by Neymar. He fizzes a ball through the six-yard box, but there’s only Icardi trying to get there ... and he can’t.

8.42pm BST

40 min: Zapata plays a cute ball around the corner and nearly releases Gosens down the left, but Kimpembe is over quickly to intercept.

8.40pm BST

39 min: Sportiello dawdles over a clearance again, and is nearly closed down by Neymar. The reserve keeper wants to watch this. He’s nearly been embarrassed twice now.

8.39pm BST

38 min: Neymar curls the free kick long to Sarabia, just to the left of the six-yard box. Sarabia floats a hopeless ball into the arms of Sportiello.

8.39pm BST

37 min: The first yellow card is awarded to Djimsiti, who cynically checks Icardi as the PSG attacker threatens to break down the right.

8.37pm BST

35 min: Neymar whips the free kick over the wall and towards the top left, but it’s all too careful and considered, and an easy snaffled for Sportiello. Still, that’s PSG’s first effort on target.

8.37pm BST

34 min: Neymar and Sarabia one-two their way down the left. Sarabia’s pull back is to nobody in particular, but Gueye bustles hard to win it back and he’s bowled over by Freuler. A free kick for PSG, 25 yards out, a little left of centre.

8.35pm BST

33 min: Hateboer and Pasalic ping it around delightfully as they advance down the right. The final ball doesn’t quite come off and PSG can hack clear. Atalanta are so much fun to watch.

8.33pm BST

31 min: More space for Gomez down the right. He swings into the middle, hopeful of finding Zapata, but the cross is an inch or two too high.

8.32pm BST

30 min: Gomez and Hateboer combine well down the right and nearly open PSG up. The door’s slammed shut, just in time, but the French champs are on the rack here.

8.31pm BST

28 min: The Italian underdogs lead deservedly. But they’ll have to keep an eye on Neymar, who nutmegs Pasalic, then glides in from the left before fizzing a low reverse shot inches wide of the left-hand post. Not sure Sportiello would have got to that, had it been on target.

8.29pm BST

Atalanta ping it around metronomically, working PSG this way and that. Suddenly Zapata, in the D, forces the ball right for Pasalic, who opens his body and curls delightfully into the top left! Navas had no chance!

8.27pm BST

24 min: Neymar dribbles cutely down the left, sashaying through the smallest of gaps to reach the box and then the byline. He cuts back sharply, but there’s nobody there in white to have a dig and Atalanta clear.

8.26pm BST

22 min: Such an odd game, though. Atalanta continue to dominate, and they’re winning all those headers in the PSG box. But Neymar has found himself in two extremely promising situations, and should have scored at least one, probably two. A goalfest may break out shortly.

8.23pm BST

20 min: Another free kick for Atalanta out on the left. When it’s swung in, Pasalic wins the header but it’s an easy pick for Navas. Atalanta have won just about every header in the PSG box! The French champions can’t keep letting them do this.

8.22pm BST

19 min: Now Neymar skitters down the left, Atalanta’s defence having disappeared into the ether. Neymar enters the box and considers shooting, but tries to find Icardi in the middle instead. His ball is neither one thing nor the other, and it trundles away from danger harmlessly.

8.20pm BST

18 min: PSG don’t look comfortable with the Atalanta press. They ship possession in their own half, and the Italians draw some pretty triangles. Gomez nearly breaks clear down the right but Bernat does well to close him down.

8.19pm BST

16 min: Having been under the cosh a little, PSG take the sting out of the game with some sterile possession. It’s much required. The rank weirdness of that Neymar miss aside, Atalanta have been the better side in these opening exchanges.

8.16pm BST

14 min: Gosens embarks on a dribble down the left and is stopped by Kehrer in the ungainly style. A free kick and a chance to cause more mayhem in the PSG box. It’s swung into the mixer, and Djimsiti eyebrows a header well wide left. PSG need to start winning some of these headers. It’s a confident start by the Italians.

8.15pm BST

12 min: A corner on the right leads to another on the left. From that second one, Caldara attempts to guide a clever backwards header towards the bottom right. Navas keeps that one out brilliantly, too, though the flag then goes up for offside so it wouldn’t have counted anyway.

8.13pm BST

11 min: Gomes advances down the inside left and swings long for Hateboer, rushing in from the right. Hateboer heads down, the ball bouncing back up towards the top right. Navas claws out for a corner, a fine save.

8.12pm BST

9 min: Sportiello hovers over a garden-variety clearance and is nearly closed down. He eventually hacks clear with great uncertainty. Some early nerves on display from Atalanta’s stand-in keeper, their usual guy Pierluigi Gollini out for the duration of this tournament.

8.10pm BST

7 min: The Neymar chance doesn’t get any better the more you look at it. On the bench, Thomas Tuchel, his leg bound like the farmer in Withnail & I, reacted by spinning around in shock and disgust. But the way this match has opened, there’ll be other chances.

8.08pm BST

5 min: There were audible gasps from the few onlookers as Neymar fluffed that chance. That looked a sure thing from the moment he was sent scampering clear. Somewhere else in the multiverse, the scoreline of this match is 1-1. More of this, please!

8.07pm BST

3 min: An astonishing miss by Neymar! Icardi spins in the centre circle and slips the ball to the Brazilian genius, who tears clear of the Atalanta defence. He’s one on one with Sportiello. He opens his body and sidefoots past the keeper ... but miles wide of the right-hand post!

8.05pm BST

2 min: Zapata slips a ball down the inside-left channel, and Gomez is found in an absurd amount of space. He enters the box and shoots low and hard, straight at Navas. He should have done better.

8.04pm BST

Atalanta get the ball rolling. They’re immediately on the front foot, Pasalic busying himself down the right and winning a throw deep in PSG territory. From it, Zapata nearly breaks into the box, but the door’s quickly closed. Gauntlet down immediately.

8.01pm BST

A moment of silence first, in memory of all those souls taken by Covid-19. RIP.

7.59pm BST

The teams are out! Atalanta wear their first-choice blue and black stripes. That forces PSG into their second kit of white shirts with red-and-blue stripe. The Champions League theme bangs out of the PA system, even though there’s nobody here to boo it. Everyone applauds nervously when it comes to an end. We’ll be off in a minute!

7.56pm BST

A graphic flashed up by BT Sport illustrates why we could be in for a some top-notch entertainment tonight. It’s a table of most goals per game in Europe’s top five leagues, and it looks like this:

7.49pm BST

A PSG fan since childhood writes: “I honestly wouldn’t mind losing against Atalanta,” insists Kári Tulinius. “Not that I won’t be supporting my club, tribalism has a hold on the soul, but if PSG has to lose to somebody this year, I’d rather it would be Atalanta than anyone else. So, I hope that I’ll be cheering one of these two teams on in the final.” Ah the mental gymnastics we football fans perform to limit potential heartache, as tension rises before kick-off and despair waits around the corner to give us a good shoeing. God speed, PSG fans. God speed, Atalanta supporters. Good luck tonight, everyone, and remember: rationalisation can be your friend.

7.40pm BST

Some more of the old required reading. Jonathan Wilson has Atalanta down as narrow victors tonight, partly on account of match sharpness, Serie A having been completed while Ligue 1 was not. Other opinions are available and valid, but then everyone on the internet knows that already, I don’t know why I mention it really.

7.30pm BST

Retro MBM: the last-16 files. Atalanta got past Valencia by spanking them 4-1 and then 4-3. PSG meanwhile had to battle back after losing 2-1 to Borussia Dortmund, making it through with a measured 2-0 second-leg win.

7.21pm BST

Required pre-match reading.

7.18pm BST

Atalanta have to do without Josip Iličić, who put four past Valencia in their last Champions League match, and is missing for unspecified personal reasons. He hasn’t played since facing Juventus early last month. Meanwhile goalkeeper Pierluigi Gollini has a knee injury; Marco Sportiello takes over in between the sticks.

Kylian Mbappe makes the PSG bench, having recovered from an ankle sprain. Angel di Maria misses out through suspension.

7.05pm BST

Atalanta: Sportiello, Toloi, Caldara, Djimsiti, Hateboer, de Roon, Freuler, Gosens, Gomez, Pasalic, Zapata.
Subs: Sutalo, Palomino, Czyborra, Muriel, Piccoli, Malinovsky, Da Riva, Castagne, Bellanova, Gelmi, Rossi, Colley.

Paris Saint-Germain: Navas, Kehrer, Thiago Silva, Kimpembe, Marquinhos, Sarabia, Gueye, Ander Herrera, Bernat, Icardi, Neymar.
Subs: Mbappe, Paredes, Sergio Rico, Choupo-Moting, Diallo, Draxler, Bakker, Kalimuendo, Bulka, Dagba, Mbe Soh, Ruiz-Atil.

4.59pm BST

Atalanta Bergamasca Calcio. La Dea. The Goddess. She’s only ever won one trophy in her 113-year existence: the 1963 Coppa Italia. Compare and contrast to Paris Saint Germain, who have lifted two trophies in their last two matches, winning both French cup finals to complete a domestic treble. Atalanta have suffered their two heaviest European defeats this season, losing 4-0 away to Dinamo Zagreb and 5-1 at Manchester City; PSG have got the better of Real Madrid and Borussia Dortmund. Atalanta are missing their leading scorer Josip Iličić; PSG will likely start with Neymar and have Kylian Mbappe in reserve. This doesn’t seem fair.

But look at it from another angle. Despite all the recent striving, PSG haven’t made it to the semis of the Champions League since their one visit in 1995. Atalanta haven’t got there at all, admittedly, but they’re not going into this match lumbered with the weight of expectation and a Qatari-funded complex. Atalanta are unbeaten against French opposition, while PSG have only won twice against an Italian side and that’s in 20 attempts, with the latest victory coming 24 years ago. And while PSG certainly know where the goal is, having scored 65 times in 20 games during 2020, Atalanta are even more renowned for their scoring prowess, their total of 98 Serie A goals this season being the highest in that notoriously stingy division since 1950. There’s a reason they’ve made it this far.

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Published on August 12, 2020 14:18

August 1, 2020

Arsenal 2-1 Chelsea: FA Cup final 2020 – as it happened

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang starred with two goals – the second a sublime finish – as Mikel Arteta’s side came from behind to win the FA Cup

8.09pm BST

Congratulations to Arsenal, then, FA Cup winners for a record 14th time. They’ll also play in Europe next season. Mikel Arteta’s first few months in charge of the club could hardly have gone better. Commiserations to Chelsea, meanwhile. It really wasn’t their day, though they’re another team on the right track, with much to look forward to next season. David Hytner had the job of putting everything into perspective, and here’s his report. Enjoy that ... and thanks for reading this MBM. Nighty night!

8.05pm BST

A fair and honest appraisal by Frank Lampard. “We started well, scored a goal and controlled the game. And we can only blame ourselves from that point in football terms: we got complacent, playing short passes like it was a stroll. But a final can never be a stroll, and we let them back in the game. It’s hard to get yourself back in the game. We got back in the second half for big periods, but a lot today was on us. Today we were slow and invited pressure. We didn’t perform well enough to win a final. It all came together for us today, didn’t it? We were below par after the start, two hamstrings and a dislocated shoulder, Willian injured yesterday, Kante not fit, we’re at the end of a long, long season. I know everybody is, it’s not an excuse, but it felt like a tipping point today.”

7.58pm BST

Here’s the winning manager Mikel Arteta. “It was a difficult start. Sometimes you can go down. But if there’s something I know about this group of players, it’s that they weren’t going to give up. They reacted straight away and played the best 30 minutes since I arrived. We generated belief. Everyone worked extremely hard, and I am so proud to represent this club. It’s really important for this club to be in Europe, and winning this competition is part of our history. I want to build the squad around Aubameyang, I think he wants to stay but it’s about getting the deal done. We are on the right path and he is a big part of it.”

7.54pm BST

A highly amused Rob Holding talks to the BBC about Aubameyang’s slapstick shenanigans. “I saw him walking up with the bottom bit attached, and I’m like: you take that off! I think it’s the trend now for people dropping trophies, it seems to happen every year now.”

7.50pm BST

A unique final ends with a unique trophy presentation, the famous old pot being handed over down on the Wembley pitch. All of the Arsenal players are given their medals, then Aubameyang carefully takes the the FA Cup off its plinth ... after a fashion, as he’s unable to separate it from its base ... then drops both parts while preparing to raise them! David Luiz erupts in laughter, as does the captain himself, before picking up the bits and hoisting them into the air with a huge roar of happiness! Cup and base now most certainly separated, he raises the cup again in a much more elegant fashion. A somehow fitting end to the strangest of seasons!

7.44pm BST

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang speaks. “We are all happy. The manager deserves this win, he did a great job. We are all happy for him!” He doesn’t want to speak about his future, though, when asked by the BBC. “Nothing. Just today, the trophy, that’s it!”

7.42pm BST

Mikel Arteta races onto the Wembley pitch with a smile as wide as the Thames! His players celebrate in the grand style, having deservedly won this final, soaking up plenty of Chelsea pressure in both halves before wresting the momentum away from the Blues each time. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang’s winner was as delightful as his first-half penalty was cool. Mateo Kovacic should never have been sent off towards the end, though whether the decision made too much difference to the outcome is moot. Frank Lampard stands in stony silence. How different things looked when Christian Pulisic scored that wonderful opener. It’s fair to say that while Arsenal were the better team in the clutch moments, Chelsea had no luck today, with either decisions or injuries.

7.34pm BST

The whistle goes, and Arsenal win the FA Cup for the 14th time!

7.34pm BST

90 min +13: Xhaka takes the ball towards the corner flag in the clock-management style. Then Tierney is replaced by Kolasinac.

7.33pm BST

90 min +11: Pedro is finally wheeled away, a painful end to Chelsea’s painful day.

7.31pm BST

90 min +9: This is so sad. This is Pedro’s last appearance in a Chelsea shirt, and what an awful way to leave the stage. He’s given oxygen as he’s loaded carefully onto a stretcher.

7.29pm BST

90 min +7: Pedro went down heavily over Martinez, and looks to have hurt his shoulder. It looks serious. Shades of Mick Jones in 1972, though at least the Leeds striker would get a winners’ medal that day after seriously hurting his elbow.

7.28pm BST

90 min +6: Aubameyang has been given the official man-of-the-match award. But his goals haven’t won Arsenal the cup. Pedro and Barkley probe around the edge of the Arsenal box. Pedro claims to have been barged over by Pepe, but it looked a legit challenge. Then Pedro goes again, chasing a speculative ball down the inside-left channel. Martinez comes off his line to claim.

7.26pm BST

90 min +4: James probes down the right. Aubameyang intercepts, then Nketiah takes over. It’s three on two, with Pepe also haring upfield, but Nketiah runs slap-bang into Christensen, hoping for a free kick he doesn’t get. Penny for the thoughts of Aubameyang, chasing history as he is.

7.24pm BST

90 min +3: Another easy claim for Martinez, this time from Pedro’s left-wing cross.

7.23pm BST

90 min +2: Some good work by Alonso wins a corner out on the left ... but Martinez claims the resulting set piece with great confidence.

7.22pm BST

90 min: There will be seven added minutes. Can Chelsea find an equaliser? Or could Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang become the first player to score a hat-trick in the FA Cup final since Stan Mortensen in 1953?

7.20pm BST

89 min: Barkley is booked for overstretching and sticking his studs on Nketiah’s instep.

7.19pm BST

88 min: Luiz limps off, to be replaced by Sokratis. It’s a substitution Arsenal take their sweet time to make.

7.17pm BST

86 min: Luiz is down, holding his shin. On comes the physio. He might not be completing this match.

7.16pm BST

85 min: Chelsea are struggling to get out of their final third. Pepe swings one in from the right, but the flag goes up for offside, offering some brief respite for the Blues.

7.15pm BST

83 min: Tierney crosses low from the left. Rudiger shanks out for a corner. Arsenal work it out to Maitland-Niles, who curls towards the far post. Jorginho should let it float out for a goal kick, but eyebrows it out for another corner instead. He’s very relieved as Arsenal make nothing of it.

7.13pm BST

81 min: Nketiah comes on for Lacazette.

7.13pm BST

80 min: Jorginho clips a long pass down the inside-left channel. Abraham chases. Martinez comes out of his box, considers heading clear, then turns and claims with his hands. Abraham is convinced the keeper has handled outside his area ... but the referee decides the ball was on the line. VAR checks and agrees. That was very close, though, and Arsenal hearts were in mouths for a second there.

7.10pm BST

78 min: Chelsea have no option but to roll the dice. Giroud, Mount and Rudiger are replaced by Abraham, Hudson-Odoi and Barkley.

7.09pm BST

77 min: James swings in from the right. Martinez does well to tip away from the danger zone, under pressure from Giroud.

7.08pm BST

75 min: Now Rudiger is booked as a throw-in somehow escalates. Mikel Arteta sees yellow too for getting involved in some sort of scramble. Chelsea need to calm down quicksmart, because as harsh as that sending off was, this is where they are now, and time is running out.

7.06pm BST

73 min: Kovacic slides in on Xhaka, who goes over. The ref books Ceballos for asking the ref to flash a second yellow ... then does what the Arsenal midfielder wanted anyway. A second yellow, and Kovacic is off. There really wasn’t much in that. Very light contact, and Chelsea are livid.

7.03pm BST

71 min: The game restarts. On the touchline, Lampard wears a furrowed brow. That goal came against the run of play.

7.00pm BST

69 min: And that’s drinks!

7.00pm BST

What a finish this is! Bellerin bombs down the middle, a run of great determination. He collides with Christensen, and it could be a free kick for Arsenal, but the ref waves play on. Pepe slips the loose ball left for Aubameyang, who takes a touch, drops a shoulder to slip past Zouma on the outside, and dinks over Caballero. That’s such a cool finish from a not particularly inviting angle.

6.57pm BST

66 min: Mount is seeing a lot of the ball down the left. He’s nearly sent clear by Giroud’s scooped pass, but settles for earning a corner. Mount swings it in himself. Zouma bangs into Tierney, and it’s a free kick, a chance for Arsenal to regroup.

6.55pm BST

64 min: Chelsea are slowly pushing Arsenal further back, and now much of the play is on the edge of the Gunners’ box. Mount very nearly dribbles his way through with a baroque run; then he nearly finds Giroud in the middle with a cute low cross from the left. Not quite, but Frank Lampard will be the happier manager right now.

6.53pm BST

62 min: Pedro tries to inject some vim with a determined dribble down the middle. He considers shooting, but turns down the half-chance and tees up James, tearing in from the right, instead. James wangs a wild effort high and wide.

6.52pm BST

61 min: It’s a much slower game now. Chelsea continue to pass, Arsenal continue to hold their shape.

6.51pm BST

59 min: Some more of the old Chelsea possession. None of it really worries Arsenal. This second half needs a spark.

6.49pm BST

57 min: Jorginho, quarterbacking from deep, pings a lovely long pass down the middle and very nearly finds Mount. Not quite. Arsenal go straight up the other end through Lacazette down the right. He rolls across the face of the box for Aubameyang, who tries to round Christensen with his first touch but takes an uncharacteristically heavy one. Xhaka tries to retrieve the situation with a long-distance blooter, but it’s hideously wayward.

6.47pm BST

56 min: Chelsea hog the ball awhile, but it’s all sterile stuff in the middle of the park.

6.45pm BST

54 min: This second half hasn’t quite got going yet. “Thanks for the reminder of Coventry-Spurs,” begins Neil Hickman. “A colleague of mine at the time (who was a lifelong Sky Blue and always claimed that the only good thing to come out of Birmingham - my home town - was the Coventry Road) was at Wembley and for one brief, glorious moment, was able to abandon his favoured line: I have supported Coventry City through thin and thin.”

6.44pm BST

52 min: James floats a diagonal ball towards Giroud on the left. Holding does extremely well to guide a disruptive header back to Martinez, because Chelsea were two on one there, Pedro also in attendance.

6.42pm BST

50 min: Mount’s corner is easily claimed by Martinez. Incidentally, at half time, Arsenal asked the ref why Azpilicueta didn’t see red over the penalty incident. By all accounts he would have, but only had it not been a penalty, double jeopardy and all that.

6.40pm BST

49 min: Pedro is immediately into the thick of the action, zipping down the left and nearly getting the better of Holding. Just as he crosses, the defender blocks out for a corner.

6.40pm BST

47 min: Pulisic hammers the ground in despair, he knows his race is run. He’s helped off, to be replaced by Pedro. What awful luck for the young American, though he’ll always have an FA Cup final goal on his resume.

6.38pm BST

Arsenal get the second half underway. Chelsea’s captain Azpilicueta hobbles to the bench with plenty of ice and padding wrapped around his thigh. And almost immediately there’s more bad injury news, as Pulisic ghosts past Holding to tear down the left. He curls a low diagonal shot wide right ... and immediately goes down in agony, his hamstring gone.

6.34pm BST

More half-time entertainment. A callback to the preamble of this MBM, courtesy of SIG Mills.

6.29pm BST

Half-time entertainment. Some old FA Cup final goals to while away the minutes.

6.22pm BST

All square at half-time, then. Chelsea started fast; Arsenal finished the stronger. Good luck calling the winner of this. Here’s to an equally entertaining second half.

6.21pm BST

45 min +5: Mount is booked for doing little more than clipping Ceballos. It was a free kick but nothing more. The referee responding there to the comic-book YAROOOO emitted by Ceballos as he fell.

6.20pm BST

45 min +4: An appropriately quiet end to an otherwise heavy-metal half. It’s been great entertainment. They do like putting on a show in the cup final, these two.

6.18pm BST

45 min +2: “Didn’t Brian Kilcline come off in 1987, or is my aged memory playing tricks?” wonders Neil Way. “Azpilicueta could be like him, though there the comparison probably ends.” Heh. And yes, indeed he did, knackering himself by bodychecking Gary Mabbutt. Those desirous of reliving that particular classic can do so by clicking below.

6.16pm BST

45 min: Lacazette lashes the free kick towards the top right, but gets the swerve all wrong and it flies harmlessly wide. There will be five added minutes.

6.15pm BST

44 min: Pepe dribbles with grace down the inside-left channel, and is brought down by Christensen just outside the box. A free kick in a very dangerous position, on the left-hand edge of the D.

6.14pm BST

43 min: One corner leads to another, and for a split second Pepe has the chance to shoot from the edge of the box. But he can’t sort his feet out properly. Arsenal are very much in the ascendancy right now.

6.13pm BST

42 min: More Arsenal probing. Pepe loops a cross from the right, forcing Caballero to tip out for a corner. The set piece leads to a load of nonsense in the Chelsea box, Alonso shanking a clearance. Pepe tries to get a shot away, but Christensen manages to block, albeit at the cost of a corner.

6.12pm BST

40 min: A series of Chelsea mistakes - a misplaced Christensen backpass, a poor Caballero clearance, a clank off Rudiger’s shin - allow Arsenal to probe around the box. This is good possession.

6.09pm BST

38 min: Tierney romps down the left and loops long for Pepe, who nearly works a defence-splitting one-two with Bellerin. But Chelsea swarm back just in the nick of time. Arsenal are looking the more dangerous now. Tierney is a proper player.

6.07pm BST

36 min: Perhaps that’s on Jorginho’s mind as he leans back and skies an awful shot from the edge of the Arsenal box, wasting some good work by Mount down the inside-left channel.

6.07pm BST

35 min: Having said that, I have no idea what the protocol is when the winning captain doesn’t end the game on the pitch. Jorginho now has the captain’s armband, and he might have something to say on the matter should Chelsea prevail.

6.05pm BST

34 min: Poor old Azpilicueta is in tears, his cup final over as he limps off. It’s not been a good day at the office so far for the Chelsea captain, but you never know, he could easily still end it by lifting the cup. Christensen comes on in his stead.

6.03pm BST

32 min: Arsenal have recovered so well from all that early Chelsea pressure. And here’s some more bad news for the Blues, as Azpilicueta goes down grimacing and holding his hamstring. He looks in real distress, fingers covering his eyes.

6.02pm BST

30 min: Luiz sticks his elbow in Giroud’s back as the pair contest a high ball. Giroud goes down with a yell, and there’s a quick VAR check for foul play. But it’s nothing more than a garden-variety foul, and much to Frank Lampard’s displeasure on the touchline, we play on.

6.00pm BST

VAR sticks its neb in, unnecessarily so, taking an age to boot. But the decision stands, and Aubameyang confidently sidefoots into the bottom right. So cool!

5.59pm BST

26 min: Tierney rakes a long pass down the left. Aubameyang gets ahead of Azpilicueta and makes for the box. Just as he steps inside, the Chelsea captain brings him down. The ref points to the spot!

5.57pm BST

25 min: Pepe curls a glorious shot into the top-left corner of the Chelsea net ... but the flag had gone up for offside earlier in the move. Correctly so: Holding’s ball down the left flank caught Maitland-Niles too far ahead of play. What a finish, though. Chelsea hadn’t stopped playing.

5.54pm BST

23 min: The game restarts with a long throw down the Arsenal left. Lacazette chests down but can’t keep the ball under control just as space started to open up in front of him.

5.53pm BST

22 min: And that’s drinks.

5.52pm BST

21 min: Luiz sprays a long pass down the left and nearly releases Aubameyang, but the ball takes a swerve to the left and James is able to recover and usher it out of play. Arsenal are getting plenty of encouragement down their left flank.

5.51pm BST

19 min: Arsenal stroke it around the back awhile. They’re living on the edge, though, with Chelsea pressing hard. Pepe panics, allowing the ball to clank between his legs, and the lurking Rudiger nearly steals away with it. Pepe recovers just in time, then shows his class up the other end, sending Maitland-Niles skittering down the left. Maitland-Niles reaches the Chelsea box before tackling himself and running the ball out for a goal kick. Neither defence looks exactly watertight.

5.48pm BST

17 min: After much deliberation, Ceballos tries a curler over the wall. But it’s always floating over the bar, and was too central in any case. It would have been an easy tip-over for Caballero.

5.46pm BST

15 min: Now Kovacic clips Ceballos, who was dribbling with purpose towards the Chelsea box. It’s no more than a free kick ... but it’s in a very dangerous position, just to the left of centre, 25 yards out.

5.45pm BST

14 min: Xhaka and Kovacic compete for a 50-50 ball in the midfield. Xhaka comes worse off, a legacy of Kovacic showing his studs but thankfully not connecting too well. A yellow for the Chelsea midfielder.

5.43pm BST

12 min: Bellerin and Pepe combine down the right to earn Arsenal’s first corner. Pepe wastes the set piece, looping it too deep, but that’s better from Arsenal.

5.41pm BST

10 min: Chelsea are first to everything right now. Arsenal are struggling to get out of their own half. Pulisic dribbles dangerously down the right, and has a smack from the edge of the box. Martinez does well to parry.

5.40pm BST

8 min: Pulisic is going to be a genuine world star. What form he’s shown post-lockdown, now he’s shaken off his injury.

5.38pm BST

6 min: Pepe tries to respond immediately by sending a long-distance rake towards the bottom right. Caballero gathers well. We could have a proper cup final on our hands here.

5.37pm BST

Pulisic turns in the midfield and tears down the middle. He slips wide left for Mount, who enters the box and crosses low. Giroud gently flicks it on towards Pulisic, who takes a touch on the penalty spot before flicking confidently over the outstretched Martinez. What a start for Chelsea!

5.35pm BST

4 min: And now up the other end, Mount snaffles possession and curls a shot towards the bottom right. Martinez palms it around the post for a corner. Giroud is livid, because he should have been slipped in down the inside-right channel, though it was a decent enough shot of Mount’s. The corner is a non-event, but what a start! In a parallel universe somewhere, it’s already 1-1.

5.34pm BST

3 min: The first chance of the game falls to Aubameyang, and he possibly should have scored. Maitland-Niles gets the better of Azpilicueta near the left-hand corner flag, crossing from a tight spot. He should never have been allowed to do that. The cross lands on the head of his captain, who slaps his effort wide left. What a chance!

5.33pm BST

2 min: An appropriately quiet start to this unique cup final. “Arsenal’s shiny new cup final shirt imploring us to Fly Better and Visit Rwanda is slightly counterproductive during a deadly global pandemic,” argues Gary Byrne. “I much preferred it when the Gunners advertised Weetabix.” That didn’t age quite as well as it could have, did it.

5.31pm BST

Chelsea get the 2020 Heads Up FA Cup Final underway ... but only after all the players take a knee of solidarity, fairness and love. Black lives matter.

5.29pm BST

The teams are out! Paul Curievici and everyone else at the British Youth Opera do a grand job of the national anthem. Then the players gather around the centre circle to hear the aforementioned #SoundOfSupport. It’s powerful and emotional, especially when the players break into spontaneous applause. We’ll be off in a minute.

5.26pm BST

Abide With Me. The traditional cup-final hymn is beautifully performed by Emeli Sandé from the roof of Wembley. Speaking ahead of the performance, Emeli Sandé said: “Only through love, justice and unity will the consequences of hate and separation be healed. Replace racism with justice for everyone,” says Sandé. The FA add that she was “keen to collaborate with us in order to include her voice in the deconstruction of racism in British communities and football, and to support mental health, which can be negatively impacted by experiences of racism.”

5.16pm BST

A reminder that this year’s final is dedicated to Heads Up, the campaign that aims to make us all feel more comfortable discussing our mental health. Ahead of kick-off, a 60-second #SoundOfSupport will be played at Wembley, a soundscape of real-life mental-health conversations with fans and players. It’ll be introduced to the players and fans by poet and mental health champion Hussain Manawer. Both teams will carry the Heads Up logo on their kit.

5.10pm BST

The players won’t be the only folk feeling the old nerves jangle right now. “I’m in the choir for the national anthem, made up of current and former members of British Youth Opera, who need support after having to cancel their summer productions,” writes Paul Curievici. “We’ve all sung to crowds big and small but never to an empty 80,000-seater stadium and such a huge TV audience. Will be hoping the players join in so we don’t feel totally alone!” Good luck to you all, Paul, though if those songs we posted earlier are indicative of anything, perhaps it’s for the best if the players keep schtum and leave it to you experts.

5.07pm BST

Frank Lampard is equally calm and cheerful. “This is the new normal, though hopefully not for the long term. But I think we’ve got used to it, though we’ll miss our fans. We’ll have to make them happy from afar. But we can’t let the lack of a crowd affect us. It’s a huge game: if you win it, it’s always there with you, if you lose it, you’re quickly forgotten. I’ve experienced good and not so good finals. You can lose a final, but it can’t be on us, and it feels like the players are ready.”

4.51pm BST

The BBC talks to a relaxed and philosophical Mikel Arteta. “It would be so special for our players, staff and mainly our fans. We know it has been a difficult season and it would be a great way to end it. The demands of this club are high, but we have an opportunity to lift a trophy today. Let’s go for it, and obviously the season would look much better. It’s strange ... but at least we have an opportunity to play, and it’s such an honour to be in the final, so let’s win it.”

4.37pm BST

Arsenal make one change from the team that very nearly let a three-goal lead slip against Watford on the final day of the season. Hector Bellerin comes in for Joe Willock. That means ten of the starters from the impressive semi-final win over Manchester City are in the starting line-up again today, the only change being Rob Holding for the injured Shkodran Mustafi.

Chelsea name the same side that saw off Wolverhampton Wanders in calm fashion last Sunday. That means Willy Caballero keeps the world’s most expensive goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga on the bench. Willian, rumoured to be off, doesn’t make the squad, while N’Golo Kante is only fit enough for a place on the bench.

4.34pm BST

Arsenal: Martinez, Holding, Luiz, Tierney, Bellerin, Xhaka, Ceballos, Maitland-Niles, Pepe, Lacazette, Aubameyang.
Subs: Macey, Sokratis, Kolasinac, Torreira, Smith, Willock, Nelson, Saka, Nketiah.

Chelsea: Caballero, James, Azpilicueta, Zouma, Rudiger, Alonso, Jorginho, Kovacic, Mount, Giroud, Pulisic.
Subs: Kepa, Christensen, Tomori, Emerson, Kante, Barkley, Hudson-Odoi, Pedro, Abraham.

4.30pm BST

“Will Arsenal still claim this is a sell out crowd?” Sports satirist Drew Chappell, everyone. He’s here all week, try the overpriced burger. While we’re on the subject, sort of, a matchday programme has still been published despite the lack of spectators. Here’s what it looks like, for some reason pictured next to a pair of Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang’s trousers ... and a digital version (of the programme, not the shorts) can be read here.

4.22pm BST

Thank God that ITV Sport used to pad out their interminable FA Cup final build-up with any old tat! Here’s another celebrity charity match, this time from 1988, in which Jimmy Tarbuck - forever immortalised by Richie Rich as “the cheeky chap from the ‘Pool, everybody’s pal, the jolly gap-toothed scouser with twinkle in his eye and a smile for every honest Englishman” - slots a fine penalty past David Frost.

4.13pm BST

Back in the day, ITV Sport used to pad out their interminable FA Cup final build-up with any old tat. The very thought. Anyway, here’s a celebrity charity match played ahead of the 1987 final, featuring some neat left-wing interplay between Kevin Webster from Corrie and TV-AM sofawarmer Nick Owen, and the best goal ever scored at Wembley by a future director-general of the BBC. Enjoy, enjoy.

4.05pm BST

Chelsea’s 1994 effort No One Can Stop Us Now was quickly rendered obsolete by events. Better remembered is this Britpop-tinged effort by Suggs. If nothing else, the couplet “We’ve got some memories / albeit from the seventies” demonstrates that the self-deprecating shtick of Three Lions wasn’t quite as easy to pull off as Baddiel and Skinner made it look.

3.55pm BST

Footballers are far too cool / intelligent / rich to bother with FA Cup final songs these days. Those desirous of a good old partisan knees-up are therefore required to rummage through the old crates and see what hot seven-inch platters they can pull out. First up are Arsenal, and ahead of the 1978 final, they decided to Roll Out the Red Carpet, just in time for Bobby Robson and Ipswich to traipse all over it. The song starts out with the bouncy twang of Don’t Pass Me By, Ringo’s sole contribution to the White Album, before going even further downhill. A big plus point, though, for the eerie foreshadowing of this year’s final on the cover, the squad lining up in front of a completely empty stand.

3.42pm BST

There’ll be no need for change strips today. Both sides will be turning out in next season’s gear, which means that one shirt will be synonymous with failure before the campaign has even started. I’m no marketing expert, the world has long passed me by, and furthermore am simple folk, but that can’t be ideal, surely? Anyway, greater minds than mine have done the maths, so here’s Arsenal’s bespoke effort for today’s big game ...

3.25pm BST

Other matches between Arsenal and Chelsea have been staged. Here are six of the finest, not counting anything that’s happened in the last ten years, for reasons that will become all too apparent when you click.

3.15pm BST

Those two previous Arsenal-Chelsea finals, then. Here’s what happened in 2002 ...

Related: FA Cup: Arsenal 2 - 0 Chelsea

2.44pm BST

The 1876 FA Cup final replay, then. That’s the one, you’ll remember, in which the legendary Arthur Kinnaird, captain of Old Etonians, picked up an injury and was forced to take over in goal, his sore tootsies a major factor in an easy 3-0 victory for Wanderers. We mention that particular game only because the attendance at the Kennington Oval that day, 1,500, currently stands as the lowest in the entire history of the FA Cup final. For reasons we really don’t need to explain, that record will be wiped from the record books at 5.31pm this afternoon.

So yes, this fan-free occasion is going to be a strange one indeed. But then FA Cup finals aren’t supposed to feel normal. Would it have felt normal when Arsenal won their first FA Cup in 1930, the Graf Zeppelin hovering over Wembley, the 776-foot hydrogen-filled behemoth dipping its nose to acknowledge King George V? Would it have seemed normal when Chelsea won their first FA Cup in woozy 1970 technicolor, after the sort of stramash at Old Trafford that wouldn’t be tolerated these days, not even outside the Belt & Haymaker on a hot Sunday afternoon? It hardly seemed like an everyday occurrence last year, either, did it, when Manchester City were making venison sausages out of Watford, and there were 85,854 people in attendance for that one, for goodness sake. You’re meant to feel uneasy, a little bit queasy, that’s the effect big sporting occasions have. They feel surreal at the best of times. Abnormality is the whole point. So let’s go with it.

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Published on August 01, 2020 12:09

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