A.J. McCarthy's Blog, page 5

PLA – A Writer’s Condition

I’m sure I’m not the first author to suffer from PLA (Post-Launch Anxiety), but I’ve been experiencing this ailment  since the release of my first published novel.   I’ve never actually heard of such a condition, but I’m convinced it must exist and the definition can surely be found  in some glossary intended for writers.

My official launch event was a month ago, on the last Saturday of July. It was fun and successful, at least from my point of view. But, by the next day, PLA had set in. Had anyone started reading my novel, Betrayal, yet? Was it possible that someone had stayed awake all night, unable to put it down?

By Monday, a couple of people had contacted me to say they loved it. Then began the wait to hear other comments or reviews. Why was it taking so long? It isn’t a tome. People should have finished it by now?

By mid-week, I had to give myself a stern lecture about having patience and needing to take into account the fact that most people have lives. They don’t necessarily have time to read, or perhaps they don’t read as quickly as I do. On the other hand, maybe they hated the book and were too kind to mention it. I began analysing people’s expressions. Were they avoiding my eyes? That had to be a bad sign. Ah, a smile! But, was it a happy smile, a proud smile, or a pity smile?

I’m quite proud of the fact that I kept my PLA well-hidden from people. Looking at me, no one would have guessed that I had this condition. They might even have said I looked blasé, totally unconcerned about their opinions. Yet I lit up like a Christmas tree when someone told me they had read and liked the book.

I can only surmise that this is a normal reaction to the launching of a novel. If I publish again, will I have the same level of PLA? Do John Grisham and Stephen King worry about how their newest novel is being received? I doubt it. Just their name on a book cover guarantees a best-seller. But, on the other hand, don’t we all want to have positive feedback on our accomplishments, even Mr. Grisham and Mr. King? Do they want to be known for having a bad apple in their very fruitful orchards? I’m sure they take as much pride in their work as anyone else.

In the last month, I have spoken to quite a few people about Betrayal, and all the comments have been very positive and very encouraging. A few people have been kind enough to take the time to give it an excellent review on Amazon, which is always helpful and much appreciated. I am bracing myself for that bad review which I have been told is inevitable.

Thankfully, I have finally settled down to a liveable level of PLA. I have always had the capacity to compartmentalize, so that is what I have done. I will work as hard as I can and hope for the best. Meanwhile, I will apply myself to what I enjoy doing most, writing another novel.

Launch day

I am still on cloud nine after my book launch for Betrayal. After a bit of a stress-filled week, worrying about the books arriving on time, anxiety about the food preparation and the myriad other small details which I was sure I would forget, it went off without a hitch. We had a good turnout despite the fact that it landed in prime vacation time for most people. Friends, family and acquaintances made the effort to come out and encourage me.

I had a lot of help from Debbie Chakour, librarian and organizer extraordinaire. She helped me advertise and set up the library and refreshments. She remained calm and confident, which was much appreciated by the anxious author.

Of course, I couldn’t have done it without all the support of my wonderful family. They were on hand to encourage me, lend a helping hand, and partake in the celebration. It’s always fun and very much appreciated.

Friends from far away sent me flowers, and family from near gave me author-appropriate gifts. To top it off, I had a late-night chat with my daughter, Rachel, who lives a few time zones away. In short, my day was perfect.

Just before opening the doors

Brianna posing with her creations

 

As you can see from the photos, we had a nice spread of hors d’oeuvres and sweets prepared by my youngest daughter, Brianna. We also had a giveaway. For each book purchased your name went into a draw. The top two prizes were gift packages of a variety of baking provided by said daughter. Some other prizes were chocolates and a gift card at a coffee shop. Another little extra were the bookmarks designed by my talented husband, which were included with each book.

The prize table

All in all, it was a great day, a wonderful experience, and a perfect start for the launching of a new novel. I extend a very sincere thank you to everyone who participated either in person or in spirit.

How do I end it all?

I have discovered the biggest challenge I have as a writer is how to end a story. I always admire other authors who can end a novel perfectly, sliding in to home base gracefully with a rousing cheer from the crowd. Meanwhile, I have the impression that as I’m racing from third base I start to stumble over my feet and fall flat on my face as I hit home. I then hop up as quickly as I can, dust myself off, and look around furtively to see how many people noticed.

I spend a lot of time trying to rewrite that fateful run.

The problem is not limited to novels. It can also include blogs. In the past, I even worried about how to end e-mails. At least, I have finally come up with a fail-safe method for those. The reliable ‘Have a nice day/evening/weekend’ is always well-received, often prompting the same ending when the e-mail is answered.

The problem with endings is that they can easily sound awkward. It’s like being at a party and not being sure how to make your exit.

First of all, it’s about timing. You don’t want to leave too early, because then you’ll be branded a party-pooper and a disappointment. On the other hand, you don’t want to be the last to depart, because the hosts will be rolling their eyes behind your back and wondering how to get you to shut up and leave. I have spent countless evenings trying to convince my spouse it’s time to go. But, I digress.

Secondly, it’s about how to say your goodbyes. Is a simple ‘Thanks, that was fun.’ sufficient? Should you put more feeling into it, with a hug and an exuberant ‘It was wonderful!’? Of course, it often depends on how well you know your hosts and, in some cases, how much alcohol has been consumed during the evening. You may not have any choice when it comes to the level of exuberance. But, again, I digress.

My point is, in my opinion, the ending of a piece of writing has the highest potential for awkwardness and I tip my hat to those who have mastered it. After all, it is when you and your reader go your separate ways and you want to leave them with a good impression.

So…um… I guess that’s it. Anyway, have a nice day (evening/weekend).

Meaningful Thoughts

I had a dilemma. I didn’t have any ideas for my monthly blog. Sure, there’s a lot going on in my life at the moment, but it isn’t anything which is all that interesting to anyone other than myself and my family. I wanted it to be about something meaningful. Then, around two o’clock in the morning on Sunday, I said to myself, ‘Wait a minute! This is meaningful.’

You may think that was a bizarre time of day to think of something to blog about, but, as it happened, I was outside walking around a track. ‘Hmmm, really?’ you say.  The answer is yes, and I wasn’t alone. I was with hundreds of other people. And we all had a reason to be there. We were participating in the Relay for Life, an annual fundraiser for cancer research. This was my eighth year of participation along with the rest of my team of ten women. And in our city there were about 125 teams installed on the site to walk for twelve hours, from seven o’clock at night until seven o’clock in the morning.

This year we were blessed with good weather, something we haven’t had since our very first year, so we were particularly happy. But despite the constant uncertainty about the weather, the lack of sleep, and the aches and pains, the event is always memorable.

The organizers started the evening off with a survivor’s walk, the cancer survivors all wearing their distinctive yellow t-shirts. This year the walk was led by a man who is one hundred years old! After making the first tour of the track, each survivor had to hand a baton to a team captain to signify the beginning of the relay. Our captain, my sister-in-law Carolyn, had tears in her eyes when she accepted the baton on behalf of our team.

As the evening progressed, we had visitors coming and going to offer encouragement and to witness some of the ceremonies. The crowd thinned out after the lighting of the luminaries which are purchased in honor of or in memory of a cancer victim. These special bags with candles in them would light the track for us in the ensuing hours. We continued our vigil through the night. It isn’t always somber, although there can be moments. We spend a lot of time chatting, catching up on news, and reminiscing about previous years.

When I walk on my own, I tend to spend a lot of time reflecting, as do most people. This year my thoughts included the upcoming visit of my oldest daughter whom I haven’t seen since the beginning of January (can’t wait!), my youngest daughter’s high school prom (a big life event), and even the unexpected death of another sister-in-law’s beloved golden retriever.  Those were the thoughts that are not all that interesting to anyone other than myself or my  family.

But I also thought about the people I knew who we lost because of cancer.  There are so many people who suffered greatly, fought bravely, and still lost the battle. They have to be remembered.

I thought of those who are now suffering and fighting. These people have a very real chance of winning the battle because of the research that has been done and is still to come. They have to be supported and encouraged.

Those were the thoughts that are interesting for everyone. Because, cancer isn’t choosy. We are all at risk. Be us rich or poor, young or old, we can all be a victim. And today, more than ever, there is hope.

So, whether or not this blog was meaningful for you, I at least wrote about something which was meaningful for me.

Take care

For a cause

Coming up on June 13th, I will be participating for the 8th consecutive year in the Relay for Life fundraising activity for cancer research. I know there are many good causes out there and we are all constantly being solicited for one charity or another. Every day there seems to be another tragedy, illness, or disease which has a need for funding.  I get it.  This isn’t another means of sollicitation. (Although, if you feel like it, here’s the link  ) Really though, I just want to share a couple of things.

First of all, for any of you who have read my previous posts, there was one I wrote about sisterhood and how it could be found in many forms. One of the groups of ‘sisters’ I have a connection to is our team for the Relay for Life in Québec City, The Valcartier Roadrunners. What a great gang of women!  Most of us have been together for the full eight years. There have been a couple who have left and a few others have joined in, but, all in all, we are pretty stable as a team. We are a group of ten who join in the activity to walk from seven o’clock in the evening until seven o’clock in the morning. We are supposed to have at least one team member on the track at all times. Surprisingly, the time passes relatively quickly. We often walk in pairs or groups, so we spend a lot of time chatting and catching up on our busy lives. We are often joined by our families for the first part of the event.  There are a couple of ceremonies throughout the evening and they are very touching and emotional. It’s difficult to watch the cancer survivors make the first tour of the track and to watch people of all ages wearing their distinctive yellow t-shirts, especially when they are very young children.

It isn’t meant to be only a night of sadness. Apart from commemorating those who have passed, we need to celebrate life and the people who have fought and survived the disease. Research has accomplished so much and it will only continue to do so.

I’m proud to say that, each year, our team has distinguished itself among the 150 or so other teams in our relay. We often have people stopping to take photos of us and our mascot. We also have been consistantly in the top ten teams in terms of amount of money raised for that particular event in our city.  As a matter of fact, over the past seven years our group alone has raised over $65,000! We have a great team and a great captain (who happens to be my sister-in-law, Carolyn).

The second reason I wanted to talk about this cause is that, again this year, it has hit close. Every year, there is usually a friend, a relative of one of the team members, or someone in the community who was diagnosed with or lost because of the disease. This year is no different and maybe a little worse. One of our team members, a good friend of mine, has already lost her father to cancer. Her sister has been fighting it for five years, and now, recently, her mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s just not fair. No one should have to see their family go through that. At the same time, a woman I have worked with for many years has also been diagnosed with breast cancer and will soon be facing surgery. She has her own ordeal ahead of her. My heart goes out to these people.

That is why we walk, and it is people like them, so many people, who inspire us to walk and keep walking. And, like many causes, it’s a good one.

Excerpt from ‘Betrayal’

My novel, Betrayal, published by Second Wind Publishing, will be launched on June 1st. To give you a bit of a preview, I have chosen an excerpt from the book to post to my blog. I hope you enjoy it.

Ben stood for a moment, staring blankly at the closed door. He was trying to assimilate everything that had happened today. The arrival of the girl had been a surprise, and he had suspected all along she was hiding something, but now it was confirmed. Now he knew that not only was she hiding something, but it was something dangerous. Tori had had a very good reason not to follow the road back into town. She was running from someone and that someone had just come knocking at his door.

The two strangers had obviously followed her footprints through the snow. Ben had no doubt she had made no effort to cover her tracks. It had taken a lot of explaining on his part to convince them it was his footprints leading to the cabin, and he wasn’t so sure they were entirely convinced.

There had been no question in his mind of handing her over to them. True, he valued his private time alone in his cabin and he would have preferred she had chosen someone else’s lake to fall into, but he was not cold-blooded enough to turn her over to a couple of goons. She was in trouble and he wasn’t going to make it worse for her. Ben pivoted and looked speculatively towards the bedroom where she was hiding.

He knew she had heard everything that had been said, but hadn’t been able to understand. He also knew she had probably recognized the voices at the door and remembered them as belonging to the people who had inflicted those bruises on her neck and face. He was sure they were responsible for her injuries. Several pieces of the puzzle fit together now. There were still some gaping spaces, but, if he handled this carefully, he might be able to fill them in. The question was whether he really wanted to. After all, this cabin was meant to be his refuge, not a hotbed of intrigue.

Sisterhood

 

I am the youngest child of three, a sister to two brothers. Growing up, I observed my friends who had sisters and I thought I was really missing out on something. I remember going to my mother and asking her if I could have a sister. She explained to me that they weren’t going to have any more babies.

“I don’t want a baby. I want a sister the same age as me.”

I know what you’re thinking – “Boy, she wasn’t very bright, was she?” – but, keep in mind that I was very young at the time. I have since figured out that the stork only delivers babies, not full-grown children.

Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t a lonely child. I was never bored. I grew up on a farm, I had cousins who lived next door, and there was always something to do. I loved my brothers, but it was a classic case of  ‘the grass is always greener’.  I wanted another girl to live with me, someone to play with whenever I wanted, someone to share secrets with, and to grow up with. We would celebrate each other’s triumphs, and comfort each other when times were difficult. This person would understand me like no one else could.

My friends who had sisters would always point out how lucky I was to have my own room and not have to worry about a sister taking my clothes or toys. I always thought that was a small price to pay in order to have a female sibling and I would have paid it willingly.

Now, of course, many years have passed and I’ve gotten over my ‘sister envy’. I have good friends who I can easily turn to when times are either good or bad. We may not all live close to each other anymore, but distance is no longer a problem in our world of technology.

I am also very fortunate to have several exceptional sisters-in-law who can be counted on through thick or thin. We may not have been raised together, but we have much in common and, at least from my point of view, the sisterly bond is present.

Besides, the dictionary definition of ‘Sisterhood’ includes ‘congenial relationship or companionship among women; mutual female esteem, concern, support, etc.’ and this is definitely something which is available to me on a daily basis.

But I think more than anything, I am experiencing sisterhood vicariously. Almost twenty-two years ago, I gave birth to my oldest child, Rachel. Four years later, along came Brianna. When the doctor announced that I had a second daughter, I thought, “Yes! I have been able to give my children something I always wanted to have – a sister.”

I haven’t been disappointed. Despite the four year age gap, and the differences in their personalities, my children are as close as…well…sisters, I guess. There have been a lot less squabbles than I expected through the years, and when they’re together you can see they genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

They played with each other whenever they wanted, they shared secrets, and they grew up together. They celebrate each other’s triumphs and comfort each other when times are difficult. They understand each other as no one else can. In short, they have everything I would have wanted to have with my sister and more.

A few years ago in Florida

Now, Rachel, at twenty-one, is on the other side of the country, living her dream, and learning at the school of life. Brianna, is about to graduate from high school and embark on her own grown-up experiences.  They are separated by a few thousand miles, but I know they are constantly in each other’s thoughts and the connection is still strong. I don’t see that ever changing. To watch them together and see the genuine love they have for each other is the greatest gift I could have been given – a thousand times better  than a sister of my own.

I guess the whole point of my blog is to say that sisterhood can come in many forms, as can many things. If you can’t find it one way, there will always be another. You have to take advantage of what you have and not regret what never was. I have been blessed, and maybe the fact that I didn’t have a sister as I was growing up makes me appreciate my girlfriends, my sisters-in-law, and my daughters all the more.

Besides, I guess it was kind of cool having my own room.

January 2015 – Happy sisters

The First-Ever

I’m a newbie.  This is my first-ever blog. But, since this seems to be a period of many first-evers for me, I think I’m probably up for it. After all, I had my first-ever phone conversation with a book publisher a few months ago. It was followed by my first-ever offer of publication, with two more following quickly on its heels. This, of course, led to a few other very pleasant first-evers, and I can hardly wait for the rest.

However, for now, I am dealing with the blog. How should I approach it? Throw in my first chapter? No, it’s too soon for that. Should I try to portray myself as a scholarly, experienced author, quoting Shakespeare or Hemingway? No, I don’t think I would be able to pull that off.

The truth is, I have never referred to myself as an author even though I have been writing for years. Until I had an actual contract in hand from a real publisher I couldn’t bring myself to associate my name with that elite group. I felt like a pretender to the throne.  Even now, with only a contract and a book waiting to be published, I’m not shouting to the hills that I am an author. I still don’t have a copy in hand to use as proof.

Since I came on board with Second Wind Publishing I have been regularly checking out the website, the blog and the authors. And, even though I have never met any of them in person and only a few by e-mail, for some reason, I feel an affinity with the group. I feel like I will be joining a family. As in any family, each one of us will have our different techniques, our different way of approaching challenges, our unique personalities, but that doesn’t mean we can’t live harmoniously and learn from each other.

The last part of that statement is currently my biggest challenge. I have a lot of learning to do. I have to learn the processes involved in publishing a book, from the editing to the cover art. I have to learn to think like an author.  But, perhaps most of all, I have to learn how to market my novel, or at least do as much as I can to help. I have to become a more diligent Facebook person. I need to learn to tweet, post, like, and share on a regular basis.

For now, I am learning to blog. I have read many blogs in the past, but have never been an active participant. For my first-ever I feel it’s premature to offer my first chapter, and my other experiences as an author are too limited to speak of as yet. So I will begin by telling you a little about myself.

I am a married mother of two beautiful girls, Rachel and Brianna, aged 21 and 17 respectively. Since they are the bright point of my life I’m sure I will be writing about them frequently in future posts. I live just north of Quebec City, Canada, and I work as the vice-president of finance for a manufacturing company.  My name is followed by the initials CPA CMA which identify me as an accountant with a specialty in management accounting. My husband, Steve, works in computers and donates a large amount of his time as a volunteer fire chief in the small municipality where we live. I consider this to be my real life.

My fantasy life has only just begun to bear fruit.  It began about 10 years ago, when I decided to try my hand at writing, and I discovered a new activity which was surprisingly enjoyable. Over the years, I built a small inventory of books that live communally and passively on my computer.  I sent out submissions, mostly to agents, to no avail.  Last summer, I pulled out Betrayal, a manuscript I had written years ago, dusted it off, and reached out to a different segment of the publishing community, the small publishers.

To my great delight, I received three offers for Betrayal. A decision had to be made, and I have to say, a lot of my deliberation was based on my gut-feeling. And that is where Second Wind Publishing comes in.

I have a feeling I will be joining a new, exciting, and accepting family.  So far, I have been very fortunate with my families, both immediate and extended. My hope is that this new group of people, most of whom I will never meet in person, will become a different type of family. Some will inspire me to write better, some will help me to focus my energies where they should be focused, some will point out my mistakes, and some will applaud my successes, however large or small they may be.

Another decision to make (heavy sigh). What will my next blog be about? Will it be time for the first chapter? Should I post a picture of my dog and rant about how cute he is? Maybe I’ll think about it a bit longer and I’ll send out a tweet to let you know what’s coming next.

Introduction

Since this is my first posting on my site, I thought a little introduction was in order. I will be brief. You’ll be able to get more information from my future blogs.

This spring, I will have my novel, Betrayal, published by Second Wind Publishing, a small company located in North Carolina.  It’s a very exciting time for me. Today, it seems, it’s also a bit of a stressful time. I had to wait until my family left the house before I was able to settle down enough to write this post.  I am still very much in the early stages of social media communication and not feeling very comfortable with it.

All I really want to do today is thank my family and friends for their support.  I am very fortunate and, even though I may not express my feelings often enough, I do appreciate everyone in my life.

I would also like to add a little explanation about the photograph you see on the top of my page. It was taken from the top of Whistler Blackcomb mountain in British Columbia. My daughter, Rachel, who is presently working at the ski resort, took the picture with her cell phone and sent it to us. I was struck by the beauty of the scenery. She is a lucky girl to be in such lovely surroundings. However, she is very far away from us, and we love her and miss her every day.

On my Facebook and Twitter pages, you will see photos taken by our other beautiful daughter, Brianna, who hopefully will be willing to contribute regularly in the future. She has many talents, one of which is as an amateur photographer.

Finally, in two days, on March 16th, my first blog will be published on my publisher’s blog site. Please feel free to read it and comment.