Devon Ellington's Blog, page 8

Tues. July 1, 2025: A Theatrical Weekend

image courtesy of  Sandro Cisternas via pixabay.com

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Waxing Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Cloudy, warm, humid

I hope you had a terrific weekend. Happy July!

The Community Tarot Reading for the Week is here.

We’re in a new month, and the second half of the year. The retrogrades are about to start piling on, so buckle up.

Friday seems so far away! Early in the morning, I did the grocery and library runs. I had an early lunch, then headed to Lenox for the WAM show. Driving through Pittsfield was an absolute nightmare, and Lenox was very busy, because it’s summer, and it’s full of summer people.

I found Town Hall (kind of hard to miss it, even for me). I had to park about a half a mile away, in front of the Episcopal church. As an ex-Episcopalian, I found that amusing.

Walked back to Town Hall. They were having a special retirement/passing the baton ritual next to the Town Hall for the outgoing fire chief. Checked in, was rather disturbed by the four-foot poster detailing the state’s gun laws. But I guess it’s good to have them posted right there at the front of Town Hall?

Caught up with WAM colleagues before the show.

The show itself was immersive, inside where town meetings are held, with the audience as part of the piece. It was immersive without being aggressive, which I liked, in that no audience member was singled out and put on the spot for anything.

The piece was WHERE WE STAND by Donnetta Lavinia Grays, directed by Vernice Miller, and starring D. Colin. I hadn’t connected the D in this piece with the D I know through Word X Word when the Troy poets come and create work at the Mount, but it was the same D! Which  was great, and so funny, because I had just recommended her to WAM in connection to one of the plays we read this past month.

D embodied all the roles in the show, of an entire town. It was quite wonderful. The piece itself tips its hat to FAUST, but goes beyond it. It was truly a powerful and lovely experience. The talk-back after was good. And it was nice to catch up with D, and to chat with Vernice, the director, going deeper into some of the things discussed in the talkback.

I was so happy to be there, and be part of the theatre.

The drive back through Pittsfield was, once again, a nightmare. I kept clutching the steering wheel, reminding myself if we went this way, I could stop in Adams to pick up a pie. Pie kept me going.

Then, of course, there was only strawberry rhubarb pie, no thank you, so I picked up a coffee crumb cake instead.

Home, heated up leftovers for dinner. Read a little. It was comfortable, and even a little cool.

Up early on Saturday, and allowed myself a slow start with a good, long meditation. In the late morning, I started working on the textile piece again, building the borders. I built out all the rest for the quilt top – the next black border around the blood border, then the bone border, then the final black border. It just barely fits the spec limitations for the show. Once the batting and backing are on, I think it will be fine, since it will lose a few inches in the seams.

It looks good, and I’m playing with the text piece for it. I think I want to go more with “tell me a story” than “this is what I’m saying here.” I will play with it this week, and over next weekend, when I do the backing and the batting and the bulk of the quilting. The embellishments will go on after.

It took me all day. Cutting, measuring, and pinning had to be done on the floor of Tessa’s room, the only place we had room, since the sewing machine and the ironing board were set up in the living room. The stitching went well. I do love my machine. It was nearly a $500 machine back in the late 90’s, so it was quite the investment. And I do love my Rowenta iron!

Since I’m intentionally putting proportions off by a fraction of an inch here and there to create discomfort, there was even more math involved than usual.

But I got it done. It’s visually strong, and even just as the quilt top, without the rest of it, it’s something that looks like an interesting quilt from a distance, and then becomes more and more uncomfortable the closer you get and see the details.

I also was sore as all get out. Knees, lower back, shoulders. Ow, ow, ow. Felt every one of my years.

Got my instructions for Sunday’s reading.

Spectrum is trying to screw me again, so I will have to fight with them this week. I hate these companies so much. And with everything being deregulated, they can basically do whatever they want, which is disgusting. We need an actual competitive market.

Angry at That Thing who was off golfing instead of attending the funeral of an assassinated politician and her family.

Cooked dinner (one of my own recipes) and then read on the sofa, with Charlotte sitting on me. Went to bed very early, because I was exhausted.

Woke up at 2 AM with such a bad headache I toyed with the idea of going to the emergency room. But I didn’t. I used yoga and meditation techniques to ease the pain, managed to doze off, and it was almost gone by the time I woke up (late) at 5:30. I’m trying to parse out how much is sense memory stress, how much is the current stress (fighting with corporations, people not honoring boundaries, waiting to be paid for work), and how much was from physically working hard for hours on end in less than ideal circumstances finishing the quilt top. I’m sure it’s all three, but dealing with the sense memory stress this week will be the main challenge, even though I’m trying to keep the focus on what is actually in front of me. I’m hoping maybe this will be the last hurrah for the sense memory stress. It’s definitely much better this year, just hitting in pockets, rather than building steadily in intensity from the end of April to early July.

Did the Community Tarot Reading for the Week. Was tempted to do a script coverage, but decided to give myself a break. I knew I could finish it on Monday, before the pay period ended. And that way, I have a little more than the original pittance I was going to receive for the month. Enough to do a couple of loads of laundry, at least! My knees are very bruised from crawling around on the floor with the quilt work, which is weird.

Sad to hear about the death of D. Wayne Lukas, although I still think it was tacky the way so many publications ran obituary-like articles this past week while he was still alive.

Had a quiet Sunday morning, made our big meal for an early lunch, then got dressed and slapped on some makeup to head to Greenfield. I managed to program in the way I wanted to go, using Murder Maps, via 116 & 112, to avoid the mountain. It was a pleasant drive on a pretty day.

Greenfield itself was grittier than I expected, dealing with a lot of poverty and homelessness. The LAVA Center is right on Main Street. I parked behind Town Hall, about a block away, and walked over. Eleven actors read in all six plays. All the playwrights were there, too, which was good fun. Even though there was no rehearsal process for the day, it was obvious the actors had spent time with the scripts and worked on their characters and development and put time and thought into the pieces. They all did an excellent job, in all the plays.

Mine, the comedy “The Voices”, was up first. It got a lot of laugh lines, and the feedback about breaking up some of the longer paragraphs to keep the repartee going was the same thing I’d felt listening to it (this was the first time I’d heard it). What was inspiring was how many people asked for it to be expanded – they wanted more from this story and  to spend more time with these characters. As it was, it ran 9-1/2 minutes (not bad for a 10-page play). They did well picking up their cues and they got the speech rhythms quickly. I will work on the notes. I think it could be a 15-minute or maybe 20-minute play, but not much longer. I don’t want to bog it down into earnestness. So I will play with that, when I have a hot minute.

I stayed for the other five plays, because that is what one does when one is on a multi-play bill. And I was happy to see that ALL the playwrights and audience members felt that way. I was happy to see the wide range of the other playwrights’ work and the possibilities in all of it. The actors were terrific, and the feedback thoughtful and helpful.

All in all, it was a very positive experience, and I’m looking forward to participating in the Words on Art on Words installation later this summer.

Such a difference from the experience with the company in Ohio!

Got back in the car. Murder Maps refused to plot the same way back as I’d come (which is the only way I can learn it, driving it several times). I missed the turn to 112, and Murder Maps forced me back along 2 West – over the mountain. I wasn’t sure my old little car could do it, but the car was a champ. I was careful and drove the speed limit, and was almost run off the mountain several times by assholes speeding. It was a white knuckle drive the whole way.

I remembered the Blue Vista Lodge and the hairpin turn and the descent into my city itself as being much closer together. Or maybe I was so overwrought by then that it seemed longer than it was. The whole drive felt like a horror movie corridor stretching. Which is a shame, because it’s so pretty, and it would have been nice to enjoy it.

I stopped at Golden Bamboo (what used to be Meng’s Pan Asian) to pick up Chinese food on the way home because even heating something up was too much at that point.

Dinner, annoyed at the neighbors. Whether the painters are done or not, this week, I am setting up the back balcony, because the neighbors seem to think that because I am responsible and keeping my section of the balcony clear for the painting, means they can just expand across into our space. They cannot. I may well mount a curtain to shut off my section even more.

Read WHO IS MAUD DIXON? by Alexandra Andrews, which was quite good. Very twisty.

Slept reasonably well, up at the usual time, good morning meditation session. It was pleasant, and I tried to get the apartment as cool as possible, because yesterday was supposed to be very hot again. Not as bad as the previous week, but still hot.

I rewrote “The Voices” in the morning, per the feedback from the reading. It’s now a 15-minute play, maybe a minute or two over, depending on how fast the actors pick up cues.  There’s only one place where there’s a dialogue box of more than three lines. I will let it sit, and then go over it again a few more (dozen) times.

I re-read “The Quality of Light” about Canaletto and his sisters. That’s in better shape than I remembered, and I need to find a place to submit it. That and “Courting the Lioness” need to get out the door more often.

I’m completely at a wall with THE WOMEN ON THE BRIDGE. I need to hear it before I know what to do next. It’s not ready for submission. The Agatha Christie-like game of nerves between Renata and Geoffrey needs work, but I want it to be a long scene where he reveals how he tracked them. If I can do it well, it will be effective, but I need to hear it before I can figure it out. I’m writing grants so I can do a virtual reading and cast various actors with whom I’ve worked the past few years and pay them at least a little. But that takes time. I re-read it, and it’s stronger than I remembered, but still needs work.

And I’m annoyed with myself that I haven’t yet finished a draft of I WILL BE DIFFERENT.

I wrote a thank-you to LAVA Center, and updated my Pages on Stages website with the information about the show and thanks for a great experience.

Did a bunch of admin. Was frustrated because I still haven’t been paid by the ghostwriting client. Saw an ad for a script writing job from a company based in Pittsfield. I’ll toss them an LOI today. Did a library run before it got too hot. I had a bunch of books to drop off, and a few to pick up. Did a small and a medium coverage. The latter wasn’t worth it for the money (a little less than half of what they used to pay for the same amount of work).

In the afternoon, I had a workshop via Assets for Artists on Estimated Taxes. The workshop leader was someone with whom I studied last year, and it was good to be back with him again. I mean, he made us do math, but he also explained it to us. Turns out that the formula passed around the freelance groups in which I’ve hung out for years is not the correct one. He gave us a different formula, which is far less intimidating each quarter. He pointed out the false narrative so often promoted about overpaying in order to get a large refund. That’s not making your money work for you. You pay into the safety nets for your future (although those are now in jeopardy) and you pay-as-you-go on income, rather than overpay. You don’t overpay and hope they give it back because they’re supposed to (especially now, when they’re mucking up as much as possible). You may wind up overpaying once you figure out your business deductions and be due a refund, but don’t start from that place. You will always have to pay taxes, but you can set it up so you don’t owe taxes. He also gave us links to updated deduction sheets, which are a big help.

I needed Advil and a vodka martini by the end of it, but I was glad I took it, and it clarifies a lot for me moving forward.

Heated up the extra Chinese food I’d brought home for dinner. Yummy.

It hadn’t gotten as hot as predicted outside, and we managed to keep it no hotter than 79F inside, so we were okay, and then it cooled down a little. This morning, inside is still 79F, and I’m hoping I can get it lower, although it’s not supposed to be anywhere near as hot as yesterday.

On today’s agenda: Llewellyn work, work on the anthology story, ghostwriting, some small script coverages. I thought I was done for good with them, but a whole bunch came into the queue overnight for the final contest through this agency. I’m not doing any of the medium coverages, which pay ½ of what they used to and were due on the holiday weekend. Typical lack of respect for their readers. Nope. I grabbed a whole bunch of small coverages, which I will turn around the next few days and be done before the holiday weekend. And then maybe I’ll be fully done with them by July 15 instead of yesterday. Get every penny while I can, right?

It’s raining, so I’m glad I didn’t try to go to the laundromat today. Maybe tomorrow. I am, however, looking forward to yoga tonight.

Have a good one!

Monday, June 30, 2025: Intent for the Week — Eye on the Prize

image courtesy of Tung Lam via pixabay.com

Monday, June 30, 2025

Waxing Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Sunny, hot, humid

We start the day with another hot, humid one, but the rest of the week should be pretty pleasant.

My intent this week is to keep my eye on the prize, although I’m not sure exactly what that prize is. A long weekend? I’ll be working on the textile piece, but maybe that’s it.

I have a lot to juggle this week, so it’s about making sure I keep things balanced and give each item the attention it needs.

The Community Tarot Reading for the Week is up here.

What’s our intent for the week?

Fri. June 27, 2025: Another Week in the Books

image courtesy of Gerd Altmann via pixabay.com

Friday, June 27, 2025

Waxing Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Cloudy and cooler

The end of another week.

I was tempted to skip the online meditation group yesterday, but I didn’t, because it is the last one until September. Every summer, I’m convinced it won’t start up again in fall, especially since each summer break gets longer and longer.

But meditation was good, and Charlotte was happy.

After breakfast, I took out the garbage and returned the fan. There was no problem returning it, and they gave me a refund without the receipt, because I had the special membership card in the store, and they had the details in the machine. The manager was kind of horrified at the poor design of the fan. So that was all good.

Home, read over the notes on the ghostwriting project, came up with some questions I need answered before I can proceed.

Spent a good portion of the day out of the house on a project that serves as research for another project, but I can’t talk about either project, and I apologize for being vague. I hate vague posting. It was by turns fascinating, exhausting, and disturbing, and I got mountains of material out of it for a variety of projects. But they asked us not to discuss the specifics of the day itself. I do have a lot of notes to write up for myself, though, that I can use in various projects.

I realized, late in the day, that I’d forgotten to send the newsletter out, so I did so, before going out with some of the people I’d worked with so intensely earlier in the day. I also turned around a small coverage. I’d dreaded it, but the piece was so good I read far beyond the pages I was paid to read. If this is my last coverage for them, I’m going out on a high note.

It cooled down a good bit, which is nice, since it was 89F inside the apartment when I woke up and 79F by dinnertime. By this morning, it was 73 inside, and just right.

I feel like there’s so much rapid change happening: D. Wayne Lukas seriously ill and turning over his horses to one of his assistants. Anna Wintour stepping down as the EIC of VOGUE. (As a wardrobe person, VOGUE was always a big part of my life).

On a more immediate level, Assets4Artists has spun off into its own organization, with the residencies staying at MASS MoCA as part of their Visual Arts Department. The official separation begins the day before the Boiler House start this year’s residency. It’s supposed to be all smooth, but one never knows. One step at a time.

Fatigued and didn’t sleep well. Too much rolling around in my brain.

This morning, I have to do my regular Friday library and grocery runs. I’ll have an early lunch and head down to Lenox for the WAM show. Tomorrow, I’m working on the textile piece (when I’m not doing housework), and Sunday is my reading in Greenfield. I also have a book to read for review over the weekend, and I may start reading next month’s scripts for WAM.

And then, another week starts!

It’s supposed to be a pleasant weekend, but up to 88 again on Monday. I hope not, since I have a workshop to attend virtually, so it’s not like I can pack up and go elsewhere.

Have a great weekend!

Thurs. June 26, 2025: Hoping for a Break in Humidity

image courtesy of Bruno via pixabay.com

Thursday, June 26, 2025

Waxing Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Cloudy and humid

You can read the latest about the garden over on Gratitude and Growth.

Went a few rounds fighting about my mother’s medical and tax bills. Ran my errands to the library and post office.

Managed to polish and submit the poem. I’ve never submitted to this monthly challenge, and the poem might be longer than what they want. But it was a good exercise, and I said what I wanted to say in the poem, so it’s all good. If they don’t want it, I have a finished piece that I can submit elsewhere.

The family friend just will not stop with “just do this, like I say” when I say I can’t do this right now and to please stop. What part of “no” is incomprehensible? Why the refusal to respect a completely understandable boundary? The level of privilege and entitlement just astonishes me. I’m exhausted. I burst into tears Tuesday afternoon because of it, and did so again in the car yesterday.

Fortunately, the curators at LAVA Center are both very excited to meet me at my play on Sunday and having me as part of the Words on Art on Words installation.

Ran my errands, got home. It was hotter inside yesterday than it was the day before, when it was hotter outside. It got up to 89F inside yesterday. By early afternoon, I couldn’t even move. I took a nap on the couch, drank about a gallon of water during the course of the day (not an exaggeration).

By late afternoon, I had gotten notes back on one of the ghostwriting assignments (not the one I turned around revisions on within three days, the other one). I invoiced for this portion of the assignment. I will go through it later today with questions, and then figure out how long it will take me to do the 20K version, especially with the holiday coming up. But at least I was able to invoice, so a little bit of money will be here in the next few days.

The oscillating fan that’s top-heavy keeps falling over and breaking apart. The screw that’s supposed to “fasten” it to the main pole can’t get tight enough because the surface is shiny and it rests against it rather than having a slot to actually fasten into. At one point, it fell over and nearly hit Charlotte. Fortunately, her reflexes are good, although it convinced Bea that Fans Are Not To Be Trusted. But that was it for me. I ripped the fan apart (couldn’t get it all unfastened) and stuffed it back into the box. I can’t find the receipt, although the box has the information clearly stamped on it from the store, and I printed out the transaction from my account. I’m taking it back today. Would I like a refund? Yes, but without the receipt, I doubt I’ll get one. This is what I get for cleaning up. If they don’t give me a receipt, I’m still dumping it at the store. I don’t want that dangerous thing in my house. I went on the store’s website and gave it a bad review.

Printed out my ticket for the show in Lenox tomorrow.

Uncomfortable evening, hard to sleep. Only managed to get it down to 85F inside overnight, although it’s only in the mid-60’s outside. I’m trying to get it cooler inside. Hopefully, because the temperature outside will only be in the 70’s, I can cool it down inside, too. And I wish we’d get the promised thunderstorm.

On today’s agenda: meditation group online, returning the fan, working on the anthology story, going through the notes for the revision. Hopefully, the temperature will stay down, as promised. We’re supposed to have a cool evening, and then a rainy day tomorrow.

Have a good one!

Wed. June 25, 2025: Boiling, Inside and Out

image courtesy of  Three-shots via pixabay.com

Wednesday, June 25, 2025

New Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Hot and humid

I was already over the day by 8 AM. Not a good way to start, especially on the “luckiest day of the year.” Can I tell you how tired I am of toxic positivity? There’s a lot of bad stuff going on now, and people have a right to be upset and scared. Saying that will just bring more of it on you, you “attract what you think” and to “reset your mindset to positivity” – textbook blaming and shaming —  how about you fuck right off, if you’re not going to actually roll up your sleeves and join the fight against systemic abuse?  People can’t vibe their way out of systemic oppression. Stop blaming them and start dismantling these systems instead. Otherwise, you’re condoning those systems and training people to give in and not try to change the very structures causing the harm. The Supreme Court threw out the Constitution and people are being kidnapped and human trafficked. Congress sends “strongly worded letters” and “is concerned” but doesn’t actually DO anything except try to fundraise.

Merrick Garland and Chuck Schumer could have prevented any of this from happening. They CHOSE not to. The Supreme Court could have been expanded to 13, and prevented that. Not doing so was also a CHOICE.

So don’t tell me I have to think happy thoughts or else bad things happening are all my fault, motherfucker.

Chuck Schumer, Hakeem Jeffries, and Ken Martin are all useless. They need to get out of the way and let people who have actual ideas and aren’t afraid to take action  lead.

The way senior Democratic non-leadership is determined to hold onto their personal power at the expense of the country is disgusting.

I managed to write a spell for Llewellyn, which was fun, and finish the draft of the ekphrastic poem based on a painting that included the Lenormand. I turned around a small coverage and wondered why I even bothered. I need to be completely done with all that. It’s not worth any of my time or my stress.

I did some adaptation work, adapting one of my comic noir plays for radio. Just a few pages, but it will get there. Looked at submission calls. Worked and reworked and reworked the poem. Worked on the newsletter, so that it is ready to go out tomorrow.

As I suspected, the conflict with the old family friend escalated. This person, under the premise of being “nice” and doing something to “help” us, has put demands on it that I can’t meet, have said I can’t meet, and is now angry with me for not saying “how high?” when they say, “jump.” This individual is more connected to my mother than to me. My mother is over 100, and many of her friends died. I don’t want to be responsible for hurting a connection. But my mother was irritated too, and said the demands were ridiculous.

There are a whole group of people from a specific era in our lives who’ve known us for a long time and always congratulate themselves on doing “nice” things for us, but those always come with obligations. “Look at what I did for you and now you’re not appropriately grateful.” It has nothing to do with doing something for us; it’s about making them feel good about being generous. They watched me partially grow up and still treat me like I’m a recalcitrant twelve-year-old, not an adult in my sixties. It’s not cute. They don’t respect boundaries. They are committed to Never Being Wrong. Many of them are also former clients of my mother’s pet sitting business, and they never let me forget that I am the daughter of “the help.” None of them have ever had to worry about money. And I’m just done.

I fashioned the “nicest” response I could under the circumstances, laying out the reality of the situation and saying if these obligations were part of it, let’s drop it. I did not send it immediately. I’ve let it sit overnight, will tweak it, and send it this morning. Which, of course, will cause another spate of rage, because I am supposed to respond within an hour or less any time I’m contacted, and respond the way required. Because, you know, they’re doing something “nice” for us.

Anyone who thinks the US doesn’t have a stringent economic class system has never spent much time here.

I attended the literary committee meeting for WAM via ZOOM. It was such a terrific, invigorating meeting! We all fell in love with the same plays, and had reservations about the other plays. We all are eager to read more by certain playwrights, and widen relationships. I feel so lucky to be involved with this group of smart, creative women who are willing to take risks and have honest conversations without retaliation for different opinions. We expand each others’ way of seeing and broaden understanding, which is a good thing.

Dinner, then relaxed. The top-heavy oscillating fan tipped over and had to be put back together. But something bent or warped (because it’s made of such lousy materials) and now it screams when I turn it on. I will have to take it apart and see what I can figure out today. I think there’s still one fan we haven’t put to work yet, so I will get that one and use it instead. Amazing how the old fans soldier on for years and the “improved” ones all fail after a few months.

One MORE thing on the plate.

I was happy to see that New York City stepped up in the ranked choice voting and chose a Democrat who actually wants to make things better, instead of an establishment figure. That should send a message to the party at large, but it won’t.

I went to bed early because I was exhausted. And relieved that we survived the worst of this heat wave. It only got up to 94F yesterday instead of 96F, although it felt like 103 outside, supposedly (I did not go out). I had gotten it down to 82 inside, which was perfectly comfortable, albeit a little humid, and it got up to 87, which was a little more uncomfortable than I would have liked.

It’s only supposed to get to 87 today, and I’m trying to get the temperature down as much as possible. Tomorrow will be in the 70’s, so it’s mostly about getting through today.

Woke up with a migraine, due to a combination of factors: heat and humidity, sense memory stress, additional stress from the conflict with the old family friend, additional conflict because the ghostwriting client is still dragging their feet on payment.

I started looking for other work to overlap with the ghostwriting work, because, as I told them, I cannot be working 6/8/10 weeks on a project without payment. The contract adjustments were supposed to fix that, and yet, they’ve found a workaround. We will see how the next few months work, but I will add a few more clients to the roster to diversify the workload a bit more and not have to rely on a single client too much (since that worked so well with the script analyst work – yes, that’s sarcasm). I had some feelers out in the UK, but heard back from one company that they are not hiring Americans in this climate, which I totally understand. I foresee another issue coming up with the ghostwriting client where I will need to put my foot down, but we will deal with that if and when it happens. No use borrowing trouble, right?

On today’s roster: polish and submit the poem, work on another spell, dive into the fight over my mother’s bills (this will take months to resolve), swing by the post office and the library. Yes, I will actually have to leave the house today. Deal with the fallout from being honest with the family friend.

On a happy note, I have been invited to participate in Words on Art on Words at the LAVA Center later this summer. In July, I will go to the gallery, look at the pieces on exhibit, choose one, write an ekphrastic piece, deliver it by Aug. 22, and it will be exhibited from Aug. 23 to the end of the exhibit at the end of the month. Another artist or writer may read my piece and create something in response to it. The vision is that the summer is an expanding conversation between word pieces and visual pieces.

In other words, I will be spending a good deal of time in Greenfield this summer! The exhibit will not be open when I go for my play reading this weekend, so I will go back in the middle of July.

Stay cool!

Tuesday, June 24, 2025: Trying Not to Wilt

image courtesy of -Rita- und mit  via pixabay.com

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Day Before Dark Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Heat Wave, Day 2

Hazy, hot, humid, sticky, yuck

I hope you had a lovely weekend.

Friday was very home-and-hearth, in and around my Solstice honorings. Took out the garbage. I had to water all the plants (with all the plants this year, it takes about an hour). With the high temperatures, we are also changing all the cats’ water every few hours, to make sure they have access to cool, fresh water (they are afraid of the fountains that keep running). I finally switched out three of the four red paisley winter curtains to the summer lace panels, in the living room and Tessa’s room. I can’t do the one on the front door until they paint the damn thing, nor can I put up the stained-glass cling film until that’s finished.

It’s amazing what a big difference it makes in the rooms. Fabric is my favorite seasonal mood enhancer wherever I live, be it curtains or on tables, or on the furniture.

Part of why I pack batiks, scarves, and some other fabric whenever I do a residency! Because studio and living space tends to be spartan for both convenience and to give artists a blank space in which to work, I bring what I need to nest. I do that in hotel rooms, too, if I’m going to be there for more than a couple of nights.

Did a run to the library and the grocery store. Meal planned on the fly, depending on what looked good and fresh.

Came home and gave myself the rest of the day off. I’m making some decisions and figuring out a few things. Percolation time is important.

Cooked a tuna pasta with pesto that will be eaten cold on the hot days. Cooked the regular dinner (perch, rice, spinach).

Over the weekend (Friday and Saturday morning), I read Graydon Carter’s memoir. WHEN THE GOING WAS GOOD. I liked the him he presented in the memoir better than expected. I also liked that it was less about name dropping and more about the actual damn hard work that goes into getting out a magazine once a month. I read VANITY FAIR for a lot of years, even when it annoyed me. VOGUE recently sent me an offer that’s tempting. Every few years, I purchase a discounted subscription to VOGUE, and then I get frustrated by the shallow white privilege stories. I should just not even be tempted. I used to be able to write off subscriptions to VOGUE and ELLE, when I worked in wardrobe, because keeping up with wearable art was part of my job.

Now, too often, the magazines make me tired and frustrated. For a magazine junkie, it’s tough out there. I’m tired of all the stories sounding exactly the same, no matter what the magazine. Writers’ voices are being too diluted.

Slept reasonably well, although woke up at 4 AM-ish with major sense memory stress. There was moonlight through the window and Charlotte there to make things better, so I calmed down and went back to doze (not really sleep).

Up early on Saturday, morning routine. Got the apartment as cool as possible.  The painters were here doing goodness knows what. Making noise? Not finishing the back balcony or the doors?

Got my act together, Real People clothes on (a dress and makeup) and headed to MASS MoCA for Community Day. I wanted to spend time with the Anselm Keifer exhibit I found so disturbing, and visit The Archive of Lost Memories before it leaves on the 29th.

Neither were open. Turns out they open at noon.

A friend who works at the museum said the Archive will be moved to a different location and extended, so maybe I’ll get to see it again.

If not, that’s the way it goes.

I spent some time in the Victor Valdez exhibit, which was disturbing for all the right reasons. But it was getting crowded. Even masked, I was uncomfortable, because there were people coughing up a lung who obviously should not have been out in public.

So I left.

I wandered the grounds a bit and took some photos, but I left.

Home, changed.

After lunch, I cut and pieced the bone compass. I was worried, if I did it wrong, that it would look like male genitalia, which would have made a statement somewhat related to the piece’s theme, but distracted from the main thrust, so to speak (pun intended). But it doesn’t. It’s obviously bones. Instead of folding under the edges, I will use a different stitch when I quilt, and it will be all good and somewhat disturbing.

Which is the intent.

I did the bone compass in the elemental colors, as I did the elemental compass, rather than in black and white fabric, because that would have just been appropriating, rather than telling a story through symbolism.

I placed the two compasses (compii?) on the background fabric. I need half of what I thought I did for the background, which makes it easier to build the borders. Next step is getting black fabric and then building the borders of black, then blood spatter, then black, then bone. Then I need to put on the backing fabric and the batting. Once that’s done, I can put the two compasses on and quilt as I fasten them onto the piece. From there, it’s adding embellishments. I’m still trying to decide if I want to do a binding on the piece or just leave it stark.

I’m intentionally not doing mitered corners for the borders, but if I bind it, I might do mitered corners for the contrast.

It wasn’t too hot in the afternoon. I looked at a bunch of dress fabric that’s washed and ready to cut. I’d pinned notes as to the patterns originally planned, but that was about a dozen years ago, and my style has changed somewhat. Some of the pieces are classic, and will work. Others, I would rather have different patterns. So I’m looking in my massive pattern library to find something better for a couple of pieces.

Once the quilt is done, since I have the machine set up anyway, I might as well do some clothes.

I found a favorite pant pattern that is only 3 pieces and takes about 2 hours from pinning to cutting to stitching to finishing. I added pockets to it from another pattern, when I did it before. It’s an easy pattern I could do up in a bunch of different summer and winter fabrics. If I didn’t want the cuffs at the bottom of the pants, I can just extend the leg a few inches and I’m good to go.

Cooked dinner. I set it up so we don’t have to cook in the heat wave. We can either heat up in the microwave or eat the cold tuna pasta with pesto (which is really good, by the way, and I  made it up).

Read in the evening, Josephine Tey’s THE SINGING SANDS. The Scottish descriptions are fun, but, overall, the plot isn’t working for me in the way it did with her other books.

Slept well until about 4:30, when I woke up with complete flashback to moving day. I mean, come on. It’s been 4 years. Can we not, already? So fed up with myself. The 22nd was the actual day the movers showed up, after not showing up when they were scheduled on the 21st.

Got up at the usual time, fed the cats, sat in meditation, which helped a lot. Had the fans running. We had a thunderstorm, which helped cool things down somewhat. The temperature projections for the day were already down a few degrees, which was helpful.

Tried to access the plays for today’s meeting. Yet again, could not. Which is frustrating, but not surprising, since I wasn’t told the issue had been fixed. I even tried it on a different browser, without any luck.

Puttered around and did some hearth-and-home stuff.

Picked up some plain black fabric for the borders, washed it, dried it by ironing it, and put the first border around the background map fabric. It was a lot of math, and by the time all four borders were done, I was wiped out, mostly due to trying to do math in the heat.

But it looks good.

I’m doing things so it’s just a little bit off, creating a bit of psychological discomfort. If you look at it from a distance, it will look like a cool quilt. As you get closer, you start to realize that one of the compasses is made out of bones, and that borders are blood and bones, and that some of the proportions are a little bit off. The measurements aren’t quite even, intentionally. Because it’s intentional, it needs even more math than if it was careless.

Which takes a lot of work.

I hope I can get more borders done this week, or maybe the upcoming weekend, but I have a feeling that most of it will have to be done over July 4th weekend. I’d like to get the backing and batting in and start the actual quilting by them, so in the following two weeks, all I have to do are the embellishments.

The text piece to go with it is percolating. I want that done by July 4th weekend, too.

Heated up some leftovers for dinner, because we’re not cooking from scratch in this weather. Relaxed and read in the evening, mostly Saska Viertel’s memoir of being a scenario and screenwriter in the early days of Hollywood and navigating the two World Wars.

It hadn’t gotten as hot as predicted, and I slept reasonably well. Woke up at 5, feeling the bone-weary exhaustion I felt during the move. Yesterday was the anniversary of the day we actually drove across the state with the cats and met the movers. We’d barely slept the night before, and left around 4 or 4:30, I think. At any rate, we were here by 8 AM. The movers were supposed to be here by 10, but got caught up in the road construction, especially in Adams, and were finally here by 11. So sense memory stress from today those years ago was mostly exhaustion, not the panic/overwhelm of the weeks leading into it, and then the weeks between now and 4th of July, when I was back-and-forth trying to finish clearing out the house.

Being kind to myself mentally and physically is important these next few weeks, and that’s the most difficult part of the equation. I want to be done with this already.

I had an idea for a story, with no idea where it will go, so I made some notes. I’m sure of the emotion and character development, but need a stronger plot to hang it onto. I re-read the CASTLE LYSENDE material I have so far. There’s something there if I can just figure out what it is. I did some admin work. I wrote one of the Llewellyn spells.

No painters, which made sense. They shouldn’t be up on ladders in a heat wave.

Tech issues for the literary committee were fixed, so I rushed to read the remaining scripts and write up my notes.

Stayed fairly quiet in the afternoon as it got hotter and hotter. Went through a bunch of books that need to go back to the library, some useful, some not. A friend shared a beautiful piece she wrote about the Summer Solstice. Another friend brainstormed some loglines. By evening, it had gotten up to 86 inside, even with the fans. Outside, it was 92, feeling like 103. We shut off the front porch to keep it from overheating inside, and it was about 10 PM before it was cool enough and enough of a breeze to open it up and let things flow again.

A family friend is adding layers of stress under the guise of being “helpful” and I’m just tired of this person not listening and thinking they know best. I’m trying to be polite and still honest, but this person is going to keep pushing until there is a less polite confrontation. I’m tired of the privilege and entitlement.

The fact that the ghostwriting client constantly puts me under deadline stress and then drags their feet until I can invoice is also adding another level of stress. The issues that should have been fixed by this new contract have not, because they found a way to work around them in their favor to my detriment. Good to know. And I will adjust accordingly.

The door-to-door solicitations have gotten out of control. Especially in the current climate, we do not live in a world where strangers can bang on the door. It is unacceptable. I’m making a sign so stating and taping it to the front door. We had people pounding on the door THREE TIMES yesterday who weren’t neighbors and had no business just showing up. I have sent angry emails to all those companies, and will put up the sign. I am also going to ask my city councilor if there is something that can be done.

It was difficult to get to sleep, but I managed, once it cooled down a little. Actually managed to sleep through until about 5 AM. Woke up with sense memory exhaustion as much as current heat exhaustion. Got the fans going (it had gotten down to 69F outside, 83 inside.

Fed the cats, watered the plants. When the temperatures go up a bit again, I will shut off the porch until evening again.

On today’s agenda: more fighting about my mom’s incorrect bills, work on Llewellyn materials, and some writing until it’s too hot. I received a request for more information from a potential client. I went to do that, and it was a series of ridiculous, repetitive, and inconsequential questions generated by AI. So I seriously doubt we will have a working relationship. And if Aquent is now doing everything by AI, I will remove myself from their ‘talent pool’. There’s a literary committee meeting for WAM in the late afternoon/early evening. I will probably attend via ZOOM.

I was going to run some errands this morning, but it looks like the temperatures will go up too high too early for it to make sense. It’s supposed to be 10 degrees cooler tomorrow, and that would make more sense.

This is supposed to be “the luckiest day of the year” astrologically, but I feel hot and grumpy and doubtful about it all.

Bea was initially afraid of the fans, but she watches the other three, especially her beloved Tessa, sprawl where they get a breeze, and she’s discovered that feels kind of good! We put fresh, cool water in all the bowls every 2-3 hours in this weather, so they always have a cool drink.

Stay cool and stay safe.

Monday, June 23, 2025: Intent for the Week — Walk the Path

image courtesy of Travis Brown via pixabay.com

Monday, June 23, 2025

Day Before Dark Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Hazy, hot, humid, start of a heat wave

I have a lot going on this week, both personally and professionally. The best thing I can do is put one foot in front of the other and walk the path.

The Community Tarot reading for the week is here, and it’s more hopeful than the last few weeks have been. Let’s hope we can make it manifest.

Have a good one, and we’ll catch up tomorrow.

Fri. June 20, 2025: Feeling That Fiery Midsummer Determination

image courtesy of  raqoon a.via pixabay.com

Friday, June 20, 2025

Waning Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Summer Solstice

Rainy, hazy, humid

Blessed Solstice, my friends! Summer here in the Northern Hemisphere, winter in the Southern Hemisphere.

I did a proof-reading pass on a play, and then did revisions on another play. Got those out to the friend who requested them. Heard back from the playwright whose play I loved at Athena Project, and she consented to me recommending the play to WAM, so I will get that out this morning. Heard from an editor that I will get a final decision on the anthology story by the end of July. I need to get back to work on the other anthology story for the same editor, which is due in July. Pondered some of the Llewellyn work, but didn’t get much done on them.

The day was humid and technically a holiday, so I gave myself the rest of the day off. Being in a holding pattern with the ghostwriting (yet again) is also part of it.

I participated in the #FreelanceFriends chat, which was fun and gave me some clarity for moving forward. I will go on the hunt, this summer, for 2-3 more steady clients so there’s not so much financial stress around the long stretches with the ghostwriting client before I can invoice. I thought the contract provisions we’d added would solve this issue, but it has not, so I have to find other ways of dealing with it for the term of the two contracts with them, and then reassess. In the meantime, I need steadier paying clients in the mix, and the ghostwriter will just have to deal with it.

I got some reading done, and my body and mind needed the rest, even though it was hard to rest in the humidity. But the fans did pretty well, and it cooled down at night.

We were supposed to have massive thunderstorms and a tornado watch, but neither happened. It’s raining a bit this morning, and won’t be as hot. However, the weekend is supposed to be in the high 80’sF, with Monday hitting 93 and Tuesday hitting 96, so we will have to find ways to cope.

I hope the town’s Pride parade is not rained out tonight!

Today is the Solstice, so I will honor it.

I have to dive into the fight about my mom’s bills again today, then do errands at the library, the grocery store, and the post office. Hopefully, I’ll also get some writing done in there.

Tomorrow is Community Day at MASS MoCA. I will go early in the day, just to check out a few things. There’s a Summer Solstice celebration at the Clark again, but I’m wary of being around large groups of people with health information and vaccines no longer available. Plus, I don’t know how I will be doing in the heat. Outside, in the heat, with a large group of people, doesn’t sound like a good choice for me right now.

I want to do some more work on the textile project, too, this week. I’d like to finish the bone compass so I can get to work on borders next weekend.

I also need to figure out the middle of the ekphrastic poem based on the Lenormand art, since it is due at the end of the month, and next week will be very busy, between WAM literary committee meeting, a WAM production, and my own show about an hour away next weekend. It’s the good kind of busy, but still busy!

Have a lovely Solstice, and a great weekend.

Thurs. June 19, 2025: Time to Expand Options

image courtesy of pixabay.com (no attribution)

Thursday, June 19, 2025

Waning Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Juneteenth

Hazy and humid

Blessed Juneteenth to you, and may this be a day to commit to dismantling systemic injustice.

You can read the latest on the garden over on Gratitude and Growth.

The weather is supposed to be awful today, hot, humid, thunderstorms, tornado watch.

I put the laundry away, caught up on some email, and struggled to write just under 1K on VICIOUS CRITIC. This sequence launches the climactic sequence, which is vastly different from the outline, so I just have to muddle through.

I tried to finish up my script reading for next week’s literary committee meeting. However, there were tech issues, and I couldn’t get as much done as I hoped. The person in charge is working on it.

Finished the book for review, wrote and sent the review, got my next assignment.

Ghostwriting client is changing their mind on things again. I think it makes the piece weaker, but it’s not up to me. I hope this doesn’t mean yet another delay in getting paid. My gut is telling me to add a few more clients to the roster by the end of the summer, so I’m not as dependent on this client as I was on the script analysis work a few years back. So that is what I will do, especially video scripting gigs for companies.

My friend and I were talking about the play she was initially interested in, but now she might want a different pair of one acts. One is ready to go, because it just had a reading. The other I will look at and, I’m sure, tweak a little, before sending off.

Other friends just bought a house in the town where I’m doing a couple of projects this summer, which is great.

No online meditation group today. It’s through the Concord Library, which is closed today for Juneteenth. On my agenda: looking over the play, working on VICIOUS CRITIC, working on the Llewellyn pieces. Maybe cutting some more pieces for the textile project.

I’m hoping for a quiet day, that doesn’t get as hot as predicted, and no tornados.

Have a good one!

Wed. June 18, 2025: Rainy Days Are Good For Reading

image courtesy of  Mirko Stödter via pixabay.com

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

Waning Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Rainy and humid

Midweek! It always seems to come up fast, blog-wise, because Monday is an intent post and Tuesday is the long post.

I got sidetracked before digging back into the ghostwriting yesterday morning, by one of my older scripts that poses some interesting challenges in adapting it from the original, interactive form in which it was commissioned to something more traditional. I worked on a few scenes, and then decided I needed to put it away, or I wouldn’t meet my deadline. The two other plays were much easier to adapt from interactive to proscenium. I realized, as I was doing a final proof on the one my friend wants to read, that, in that particular script, not one of the characters is typically “likable” or “good.” Nor are they anti-heroes. They are all rather nefarious. That’s kind of interesting, because the company who commissioned it liked bouncy pieces, and yet this one had several different productions. The characters are constantly lying and changing their stories. It needs very sharp direction.

But I put both those plays aside and dug back into the ghostwriting revision. I finished that a little before noon (a few hours ahead of deadline, yay me) and turned it in. And then spent time on the sofa, feeling like I’d been kicked in the head by a mule.

I managed to do some work on the next book for review, but mostly, I was cat furniture.

Pulled myself together to get dressed for yoga, ran the errands I’d put off earlier in the day, and went to yoga, which was fabulous. Came home, cooked dinner, read a novel that started really well, but I didn’t like the turn it took. I felt it was misogynistic, and the supposed twist near the end of it cheated the reader.

Slept well, up early. In spite of the rain, hauled the laundry to the laundromat. I was the only one there, because I’m not the only one who hates taking laundry out in the rain. But I needed to get the sheets and towels done. I worked on VICIOUS CRITIC edits while I was there, and then had to swing by Big Y on the way home, because I was out of coffee and coffee filters.

On this morning’s agenda: fold and put away laundry, more work on VICIOUS CRITIC, more work on getting the older plays ready to send out, write and submit a book review, maybe do some work on the anthology story or the Llewellyn pieces. It’s too dark to stitch, unless I set up specific lighting. If I’m going to commit to doing more sewing, I need to consider specific task lighting that can move workspaces with the machine. And fight with the tax people and the medical people.

In a holding pattern until I hear back from the ghostwriting client. I wish they’d let us get on with it, so I can invoice. It’s cutting things a little too close to the end of the month.

No painters yesterday and I would figure no painters today, with all this rain. I wish I knew what the plan was for finishing the building, so that I could plan.

One day at a time, that’s all we can do.

Have a good one!