Tim Botta's Blog, page 3
December 27, 2009
End of the Year Restaurant Round-up: Best of 2009
It's that time of year again. Time to sit back smugly and take stock of the past year. I mean, this year--the year now ending, the year gone by--well, almost. When a nihilistic chill goes through one these evenings, what better way of comforting oneself than making a list? And so, my End of the Year Round-up.
1. Best Menu Font: Speaking of nihilistic chill, hands down my fave font is the grunge inspired lettering on the menu at Flannel's Cafe'. This edgy, "Gen-X"-style alphabet takes my breath--and my appetite--away.
2. Best Toothpick Dispenser: You're joking, right? If there's a receptable devoted to objects made for dislodging food particles in a restaurant somewhere, I don't want to hear about it.
3. Best Background Music: The royalty-avoiding "almost hits" played at the Bitterest Gumdrop are always appreciated.
4. Best Overlooked Crumbs: I like my eatery to be human. And that means I want there to be that little area where the roomba forgot to suck dirt. Goofball's Comedy Pit, you know who you are.
5. Best Mascot: The squeak-toy-inspired Uncle Pig at Pork Belleez is my favorite of the many mascots now roaming the aisles in dining establishments nowadays.
6. Best Gift Shop: The gag items offered at Food Ghost complement the fare.
7. Best Slaw: The piquant, festive, confetti-like slaw at Hieronymo's is still going strong.
8. Best Posted Warnings: The quaint "No Vulgar Talk or Filth" signs at Kerplunk's are a little scary--but in a good way.
9. Best credit-card folder: I know my plastic is secure when I place it into the professional guest-check presenter at Golly's.
10. Best "Please Wait to be Seated" Post. The tarnished brass post at Simply Slop never fails to please.
* * * * *
Well, there you have. Another top-ten list to inspire some better choices next year, or just to soothe yourself when those pane-rattling winds are wailing. Till next time, remember--if it tastes funny, don't forget to laugh!
1. Best Menu Font: Speaking of nihilistic chill, hands down my fave font is the grunge inspired lettering on the menu at Flannel's Cafe'. This edgy, "Gen-X"-style alphabet takes my breath--and my appetite--away.
2. Best Toothpick Dispenser: You're joking, right? If there's a receptable devoted to objects made for dislodging food particles in a restaurant somewhere, I don't want to hear about it.
3. Best Background Music: The royalty-avoiding "almost hits" played at the Bitterest Gumdrop are always appreciated.
4. Best Overlooked Crumbs: I like my eatery to be human. And that means I want there to be that little area where the roomba forgot to suck dirt. Goofball's Comedy Pit, you know who you are.
5. Best Mascot: The squeak-toy-inspired Uncle Pig at Pork Belleez is my favorite of the many mascots now roaming the aisles in dining establishments nowadays.
6. Best Gift Shop: The gag items offered at Food Ghost complement the fare.
7. Best Slaw: The piquant, festive, confetti-like slaw at Hieronymo's is still going strong.
8. Best Posted Warnings: The quaint "No Vulgar Talk or Filth" signs at Kerplunk's are a little scary--but in a good way.
9. Best credit-card folder: I know my plastic is secure when I place it into the professional guest-check presenter at Golly's.
10. Best "Please Wait to be Seated" Post. The tarnished brass post at Simply Slop never fails to please.
* * * * *
Well, there you have. Another top-ten list to inspire some better choices next year, or just to soothe yourself when those pane-rattling winds are wailing. Till next time, remember--if it tastes funny, don't forget to laugh!
December 20, 2009
Restaurant Review: The Peppermint Outpost
As you know, I have always been of at least two minds about the concept of ample parking. While it does prevent my driver from having to circle eternally around the grounds like some airliner that cannot land, a lot with numerous empty spaces does not give me much confidence in a restaurant's quality. And so I was pleased to see that the five-level parking deck of the Peppermint Outpost was filled to capacity. The reflective sign above the gate (complete with candystriped arm--how clever they are!) proclaimed: "The Peppermint Outpost--where the palate cleanser IS the meal!" I found that charming beyond belief--or else utterly nauseating, I can't decide yet. On swiping my food critic's badge, my driver brought me into the deck and dropped me off at the steel door of the Peppermint Outpost. Thankfully, the interior to the restaurant is less thuggish than the exterior. A wintry decor dominated, complete with fur-lined ice skates hanging from the silvery walls. I was graciously seated by myself at a long table in a conference room where I could dine in peace. The waitron, Miss Figalilly, plumped a comfortable down pillow before me, upon which she then set a clock-sized peppermint candy, different in degree more than kind from the wonderful Brach's peppermint Star Brites of my childhood. I was given a set of mineralogical tools to break the mint up into bite-sized pieces. This was no pillow-shaped mint on my pillow! The next course was a wonderful peppermint bark, laid out beautifully in strips on--this time--an actual plate or dish of some kind. The bark was a bit dry and stringy, but I choked only once or twice, and the manager, Mr. Everett, was quite accomplished in the Heisman trophy maneuver, or whatever. As a palate cleanser to the palate cleanser, in infinite regress, so to speak, and in keeping with the arboreal leitmotiv, I was served some wonderful spearmint jelly leaves washed down by a gentle rainfall of herbal peppermint tea. While I had never enjoyed hot tea dispensed from a showerhead before, I did find the experience remarkable. And so, overall, I am happy to report that the Peppermint Outpost fully earns a grade of Five Ice-Blue Mints!
June 14, 2009
13, 505 Books
Lately when I've been in bookstores, I've overheard older people talking about how they're never going to live long enough to read everything. "So Many Books, So Little Time" is more than just a cute t-shirt slogan. And there's a book called 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die. Unless I take a speed-reading course and triple my reading speed, I'll be able to read about one book per day. Let's say I live another 37 years. According to Google Calculator, that gives me 13, 505 books I'll be able to read. Obviously, I'm going to have to be more selective in my reading. And maybe that figure isn't even accurate--some books take more than a day to read. It took me at least one summer to read In Search of Lost Time. What about those Russian novels I've never read--how long are they going to take? If they take more than a day to read, that would lower the 13,505 number. And what if I decide to re-read certain books, like In Search of Lost Time? Re-reading would also lower the number of books I'll be able to read for the rest of my life. Maybe I should just make a list right now of the 13,000 or so books I'm going to read and just stick with it. But how long would it take to make a list of 13,000 books? Surely, that would cut into my reading time enough to lower the figure I'd actually be able to read. Maybe one day of planning wouldn't wreck the plan--in fact, it may save it, since I could use that day to decide the best books to read under the circumstances of my mortality. There must be more than 13,000 books that I want to read. That isn't really very many, is it? According to wikipedia, Balzac wrote about one-hundred novels. If I wanted to read all of Balzac, I'd have 12, 905 books left to read. Not very many books at all. And what about days when I can't read a book? I need to start listening to audio books in my car again. And at night, in bed, though they tend to put me to sleep no matter how interesting they are. Maybe if I listen to more audio books I'll be able to finish two books a day, between printed and audio. Would listening to an audio book even count, though? I don't know what to do. I guess I'll have to start testing books, maybe read only the first paragraph and if it's not a five-star book then start something else. I think today I'll work on my list of 13,505 books. I hope working on the list doesn't take much time!
13,505 Books
Lately when I've been in bookstores, I've overheard older people talking about how they're never going to live long enough to read everything. "So Many Books, So Little Time" is more than just a cute t-shirt slogan. And there's a book called 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die. Unless I take a speed-reading course and triple my reading speed, I'll be able to read about one book per day. Let's say I live another 37 years. According to Google Calculator, that gives me 13, 505 books I'll be able to read. Obviously, I'm going to have to be more selective in my reading. And maybe that figure isn't even accurate--some books take more than a day to read. It took me at least one summer to read In Search of Lost Time. What about those Russian novels I've never read--how long are they going to take? If they take more than a day to read, that would lower the 13,505 number. And what if I decide to re-read certain books, like In Search of Lost Time? Re-reading would also lower the number of books I'll be able to read for the rest of my life. Maybe I should just make a list right now of the 13,000 or so books I'm going to read and just stick with it. But how long would it take to make a list of 13,000 books? Surely, that would cut into my reading time enough to lower the figure I'd actually be able to read. Maybe one day of planning wouldn't wreck the plan--in fact, it may save it, since I could use that day to decide the best books to read under the circumstances of my mortality. There must be more than 13,000 books that I want to read. That isn't really very many, is it? According to wikipedia, Balzac wrote about one-hundred novels. If I wanted to read all of Balzac, I'd have 12, 905 books left to read. Not very many books at all. And what about days when I can't read a book? I need to start listening to audio books in my car again. And at night, in bed, though they tend to put me to sleep no matter how interesting they are. Maybe if I listen to more audio books I'll be able to finish two books a day, between printed and audio. Would listening to an audio book even count, though? I don't know what to do. I guess I'll have to start testing books, maybe read only the first paragraph and if it's not a five-star book then start something else. I think today I'll work on my list of 13,505 books. I hope working on the list doesn't take much time!
March 12, 2009
February 26, 2009
February 20, 2009
What three words rhyme with "sasquatch" and why?
Find out my answer to this and other questions at Tom Lisk's Oilcloth and Linoleum.
