Ryan Field's Blog, page 531
September 23, 2011
Online Resources To Help Gay Teens In Crisis...
One of the wonderful things about the Internet can be put into one word: INFORMATION.
Another word is ANONYMITY.
So I'm linking to several resources for gay teens in crisis. I don't know how helpful these things are, but at least it's something with which to begin.
When we all say things like, "It gets better," we aren't just blowing smoke up your asses. But it doesn't always happen fast. To paraphrase Hillary Clinton from the last election, "The skies aren't going to open and celestial choirs aren't going to sing."
In order for it to get better you have to work through a lot of shit first. I don't know any gay adult who hasn't had to do this. Unfortunately, that's just life.
UNITED STATES
NATIONAL
Suicide & Crisis Hotlines
Life-Saving Resources
Too many young people have taken their lives because of anti-gay bullying.
The Trevor Project: Help for Suicidal Gay Teens
Point Foundation provides financial support, mentoring, leadership training and hope to meritorious students who are marginalized due to sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.
Resources for LGBTQ Youth
These are just a handful. There are others.
And reading helps, too. Even if you start with some of the older gay classics, like THE FRONT RUNNER, or GIOVANNI'S ROOM, you'll gain more of an insight about what it really is to be gay. I know those of you living in small towns all over America right now only know what you've seen and heard in the mainstream. And that's not much information to go on. In fact, most of the gay men and women I know are nothing like the images portrayed by the mainstream. And this crisis with gay teens isn't something new. And the LGBT community has been working on it for a long time, especially with fiction. And sometimes all it takes is just one book to change your entire life.
Another word is ANONYMITY.
So I'm linking to several resources for gay teens in crisis. I don't know how helpful these things are, but at least it's something with which to begin.
When we all say things like, "It gets better," we aren't just blowing smoke up your asses. But it doesn't always happen fast. To paraphrase Hillary Clinton from the last election, "The skies aren't going to open and celestial choirs aren't going to sing."
In order for it to get better you have to work through a lot of shit first. I don't know any gay adult who hasn't had to do this. Unfortunately, that's just life.
UNITED STATES
NATIONAL
Suicide & Crisis Hotlines
Life-Saving Resources
Too many young people have taken their lives because of anti-gay bullying.
The Trevor Project: Help for Suicidal Gay Teens
Point Foundation provides financial support, mentoring, leadership training and hope to meritorious students who are marginalized due to sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.
Resources for LGBTQ Youth
These are just a handful. There are others.
And reading helps, too. Even if you start with some of the older gay classics, like THE FRONT RUNNER, or GIOVANNI'S ROOM, you'll gain more of an insight about what it really is to be gay. I know those of you living in small towns all over America right now only know what you've seen and heard in the mainstream. And that's not much information to go on. In fact, most of the gay men and women I know are nothing like the images portrayed by the mainstream. And this crisis with gay teens isn't something new. And the LGBT community has been working on it for a long time, especially with fiction. And sometimes all it takes is just one book to change your entire life.
September 22, 2011
Lady Gaga Speaks Out Against Hate...And Why Did Billie Joe Jump Off the Tallahatchie Bridge?
I posted about Jamey Rodemeyer here earlier this week.
And I heard today that Lady Gaga is now speaking out against hate and she sounds like she means business.
Here's a link to the article.
Just so you know, folks. This isn't something new, this thing where gay people commit suicide because they're being bullied or they can't accept who they are, or they feel trapped and alone. It's not a trend and it's not the issue of the day trending on twitter and facebook. I grew up in a small town and I remember a very effeminate gay teenager who wound up shooting himself for reasons that were never disclosed. I can remember other incidents like this, too. I was one of the luckier ones. No one knew I was gay until I decided to come out on my own terms. But it's not like that for all gay people.
And now we're finally seeing it for what it is. Being a gay YA shouldn't have anything to do with luck. And we're not willing to sit back and take the abuse anymore. I believe changing this begins with one person and grows in magnitude. And if we can get to one person, like Jamey Rodemeyer, and show him that it does, indeed, get better, we're on our way to conquering a great deal.
Why did Billie Joe jump off the Tallahatchie Bridge?
Questions arose among the listeners: what did Billie Joe and his girlfriend throw off the Tallahatchie Bridge, and why did Billie Joe commit suicide? Speculation ran rampant after the song hit the airwaves, and Gentry said in a November 1967 interview that it was the question most asked of her by everyone she met. She named flowers, a ring, a draft card, a bottle of LSD pills, and an aborted baby as the most often guessed items. Although she knew definitely what the item was, she wouldn't reveal it, saying only "Suppose it was a wedding ring." "It's in there for two reasons," she said. "First, it locks up a definite relationship between Billie Joe and the girl telling the story, the girl at the table. Second, the fact that Billie Joe was seen throwing something off the bridge -- no matter what it was -- provides a possible motivation as to why he jumped off the bridge the next day."[3]
And I found this, here:
One night at a party, however, McAllister gets drunk. In his inebriated state, he makes love to another man dressed in drag, though later he reveals he knew what he was doing.
This is all speculation about Billie Joe. We'll probably never know the real answer as to why Billie Joe committed suicide. But I do know that a lot of young gay people have been committing suicide for many years and it's always been covered up because of fear and hate. And it's time that stopped.
All those "things" you hear in your small town, and the anxiety you have about being gay right now will change in time. Your minister, priest, rabbi, or whatever might think they know better, but they really don't. They only think they do. Talk to someone who knows about being gay. It really does get better...you just have to believe this.
And I heard today that Lady Gaga is now speaking out against hate and she sounds like she means business.
Here's a link to the article.
Just so you know, folks. This isn't something new, this thing where gay people commit suicide because they're being bullied or they can't accept who they are, or they feel trapped and alone. It's not a trend and it's not the issue of the day trending on twitter and facebook. I grew up in a small town and I remember a very effeminate gay teenager who wound up shooting himself for reasons that were never disclosed. I can remember other incidents like this, too. I was one of the luckier ones. No one knew I was gay until I decided to come out on my own terms. But it's not like that for all gay people.
And now we're finally seeing it for what it is. Being a gay YA shouldn't have anything to do with luck. And we're not willing to sit back and take the abuse anymore. I believe changing this begins with one person and grows in magnitude. And if we can get to one person, like Jamey Rodemeyer, and show him that it does, indeed, get better, we're on our way to conquering a great deal.
Why did Billie Joe jump off the Tallahatchie Bridge?
Questions arose among the listeners: what did Billie Joe and his girlfriend throw off the Tallahatchie Bridge, and why did Billie Joe commit suicide? Speculation ran rampant after the song hit the airwaves, and Gentry said in a November 1967 interview that it was the question most asked of her by everyone she met. She named flowers, a ring, a draft card, a bottle of LSD pills, and an aborted baby as the most often guessed items. Although she knew definitely what the item was, she wouldn't reveal it, saying only "Suppose it was a wedding ring." "It's in there for two reasons," she said. "First, it locks up a definite relationship between Billie Joe and the girl telling the story, the girl at the table. Second, the fact that Billie Joe was seen throwing something off the bridge -- no matter what it was -- provides a possible motivation as to why he jumped off the bridge the next day."[3]
And I found this, here:
One night at a party, however, McAllister gets drunk. In his inebriated state, he makes love to another man dressed in drag, though later he reveals he knew what he was doing.
This is all speculation about Billie Joe. We'll probably never know the real answer as to why Billie Joe committed suicide. But I do know that a lot of young gay people have been committing suicide for many years and it's always been covered up because of fear and hate. And it's time that stopped.
All those "things" you hear in your small town, and the anxiety you have about being gay right now will change in time. Your minister, priest, rabbi, or whatever might think they know better, but they really don't. They only think they do. Talk to someone who knows about being gay. It really does get better...you just have to believe this.
Make A Poem With MM Romance...
There's been a contest going on over at Janet Reid's blog. It looks like fun and if I had the time I'd be doing it myself. But with three deadlines looming and a new historical novella coming out soon, A YOUNG WIDOW'S PROMISE, I'm lucky if I have time to read a book let alone stack them into a pile and create a poem.
But I do think it would be interesting to see what would happen if someone else decided to create a poem with a stack of MM romance novels. I posted the link to Janet's blog above to show exactly what this is all about. And I'd love to see someone do this. There's no time frame at all and you can work on it for the next year for all I care. You can do it anonymously, too. If you want to use your own books and use this as a promotional tool, please feel free. I love to see a creative author take advantage of every opportunity out there. And I'm always more than willing to help.
I only ask that you keep it pg rated. I keep this blog pg rated and we all know I'm no prude. I'd just rather censor myself than have someone else do it.
And, if you want to do this on your own blogs, please feel free to send me any links. Considering some of the interesting titles in MM Romance these days, I think there are a million possibilities.
But I do think it would be interesting to see what would happen if someone else decided to create a poem with a stack of MM romance novels. I posted the link to Janet's blog above to show exactly what this is all about. And I'd love to see someone do this. There's no time frame at all and you can work on it for the next year for all I care. You can do it anonymously, too. If you want to use your own books and use this as a promotional tool, please feel free. I love to see a creative author take advantage of every opportunity out there. And I'm always more than willing to help.
I only ask that you keep it pg rated. I keep this blog pg rated and we all know I'm no prude. I'd just rather censor myself than have someone else do it.
And, if you want to do this on your own blogs, please feel free to send me any links. Considering some of the interesting titles in MM Romance these days, I think there are a million possibilities.
September 21, 2011
My Pen Name?
I was recently asked by three different people if I use a pen name for m/m fiction.
I was a little surprised. Evidently, some people have been under the impression I do use one or two pen names for m/m fiction.
This is absolutely false. I have never used a pen name for m/m fiction and I don't see that happening anywhere in the near future. So if you think you're buying something I wrote and you think it's something I published under a pen name, you're mistaken.
I have used pen names when I've hopped genres. I've used the pen name R. Field for a short story I wrote for loveyoudivine.com that has a m/f storyline. I've used several other pen names that are less obvious for other sub-genres I've written in. I used to use pen names and I can't even remember some of them. That goes back so many years we're talking about print books that are probably out of print by now anyway.
But I have never used a pen name for m/m fiction. Honest!
I probably should be using a pen name for my new historical romance release, A YOUNG WIDOW'S PROMISE. But I decided I'd wing it with my own name and see what happens.
I was a little surprised. Evidently, some people have been under the impression I do use one or two pen names for m/m fiction.
This is absolutely false. I have never used a pen name for m/m fiction and I don't see that happening anywhere in the near future. So if you think you're buying something I wrote and you think it's something I published under a pen name, you're mistaken.
I have used pen names when I've hopped genres. I've used the pen name R. Field for a short story I wrote for loveyoudivine.com that has a m/f storyline. I've used several other pen names that are less obvious for other sub-genres I've written in. I used to use pen names and I can't even remember some of them. That goes back so many years we're talking about print books that are probably out of print by now anyway.
But I have never used a pen name for m/m fiction. Honest!
I probably should be using a pen name for my new historical romance release, A YOUNG WIDOW'S PROMISE. But I decided I'd wing it with my own name and see what happens.
Planning Ahead For Virgin Billionaire: Amnesia In Germany
I have a new release coming out soon titled, THE VIRGIN BILLIONAIRE'S HOT AMISH ESCAPADE.
But the original title was The Virgin Billionaire: Amnesia. We changed it because we thought it was boring.
In this next book in the VB series, Jase, the virgin billionaire, gets amnesia and they wind up trapped in the woods in Amish country...in a town with a dark secret, surrounded by very strange people.
Part of the reason I wrote the book this way is because I'm tired of watching horror flicks where the cute guys always wind up dying first and the dizzy women survive. I wanted one story along these lines where the cute guys live and the women die. If that sounds petty, I'm guilty.
But more than that, I was a little worried about the amnesia part. I did research it and I do know it happens.
And this link and the article below fascinates me now.
Unidentified teenage boy emerges from forest
Posted by David Pescovitz on Monday, Sep 19th at 9:32am
A mysterious young fellow named Ray, around 17-years-old, walked out of a German forest last week and told authorities he and his dad, who had just died, had been living in the wild for about five years. But that's all Ray remembers about his life. He told youth workers that his father, whom he called Ryan, had died two weeks ago and he had buried him in a shallow grave covered with stones. The boy then walked north, following instructions his father had given him should anything happen to him.
The pair's odyssey started after his mother, who he said was named Doreen, died. He says that he and his father never set up home but kept moving, staying in tents and huts in the woods.
It is not clear what they ate or how they survived the often harsh German winters. "He doesn't show any signs of abuse and he is in good shape physically and psychologically," (Berlin police spokesperson Michael) Maaß said.
But the original title was The Virgin Billionaire: Amnesia. We changed it because we thought it was boring.
In this next book in the VB series, Jase, the virgin billionaire, gets amnesia and they wind up trapped in the woods in Amish country...in a town with a dark secret, surrounded by very strange people.
Part of the reason I wrote the book this way is because I'm tired of watching horror flicks where the cute guys always wind up dying first and the dizzy women survive. I wanted one story along these lines where the cute guys live and the women die. If that sounds petty, I'm guilty.
But more than that, I was a little worried about the amnesia part. I did research it and I do know it happens.
And this link and the article below fascinates me now.
Unidentified teenage boy emerges from forest
Posted by David Pescovitz on Monday, Sep 19th at 9:32am
A mysterious young fellow named Ray, around 17-years-old, walked out of a German forest last week and told authorities he and his dad, who had just died, had been living in the wild for about five years. But that's all Ray remembers about his life. He told youth workers that his father, whom he called Ryan, had died two weeks ago and he had buried him in a shallow grave covered with stones. The boy then walked north, following instructions his father had given him should anything happen to him.
The pair's odyssey started after his mother, who he said was named Doreen, died. He says that he and his father never set up home but kept moving, staying in tents and huts in the woods.
It is not clear what they ate or how they survived the often harsh German winters. "He doesn't show any signs of abuse and he is in good shape physically and psychologically," (Berlin police spokesperson Michael) Maaß said.
Review: The Bachelor
I almost always hesitate to post my own reviews here on the blog. It's one of those things a lot of authors hate to do, but know they have to do it.
So I'm going to concentrate on thanking the reviewer, Michele Montgomery, instead of on the actual review. I think this particular review site is one of the most helpful tools for all readers of mm fiction. I've been watching it and following it for along time and it's constantly evolving. When I have a question about a book a want to buy, I check out web sites like this for more information.
I know how hard it is to keep a blog going and work on my own writing deadlines, and I can't even imagine the kind of work that goes into maintaining a book review site.
Here's the link...please check out the entire site. You'll enjoy it.
So I'm going to concentrate on thanking the reviewer, Michele Montgomery, instead of on the actual review. I think this particular review site is one of the most helpful tools for all readers of mm fiction. I've been watching it and following it for along time and it's constantly evolving. When I have a question about a book a want to buy, I check out web sites like this for more information.
I know how hard it is to keep a blog going and work on my own writing deadlines, and I can't even imagine the kind of work that goes into maintaining a book review site.
Here's the link...please check out the entire site. You'll enjoy it.
September 20, 2011
It Gets Better, I promise! by Jamey Rodemeyer
For those who don't know, Jamey Rodemeyer died at his own hand on Sunday after many years of being bullied because of who he is and what he believed was his own personal truth.
Here's a piece at the Huffington Post to read the full story in detail.
RIP, Jamey. We're trying to make it better. We really are.
Please Don't Call Me Queer!!
Last week there was a slight kerfuffle between LGBT YA authors and a literary agent. I'm not going to link to that because it has nothing to do with this post.
But that misunderstanding brought something to my attention that I hadn't seen before. Evidently, it's becoming popular to add a "Q" to the end of LGBT...making it LGBTQ.
I'm gay. I write gay fiction and have been for twenty years. No one told me about the "Q."
The "Q" means "queer," or "questioning." At least that's what I've been told. I'm fine with the "questioning" part. But I'm not so sure about the "queer" part.
Of course I know there are gay people who want to refer to themselves as "queer." And they want to be referred to as "queer" by other people. And that's fine for them. Have fun. I just want to make it clear that I'd prefer not to be called "queer" by anyone at any time.
The "Q" word to me is what the "N" word is to some African Americans. It's degrading, denigrating, and insulting. It's hateful at best and hurtful at its worst. It causes pain no matter how you look at it. It makes young gay people living in small towns cringe and recoil. And being a writer, I know how strong words can be.
What prompted me to write this post is that I saw a status update on facebook written by someone of African descent who was stuck in traffic and someone viciously shouted the "N" word to him/her. I'm posting this anonymously, verbatim. But it was posted in a public forum, on facebook, so the person in question must have wanted it known.
This was the status update: "Small town life: Someone just called me a nig!?$ in traffic. I feel racism is a form of mental degeneration. Breath, and onward! #Life"
It killed me to see this. I'm a huge fan of this person and I wanted to scream and punch something. But more than that, I felt this person's pain because I know how it feels to be called "fag" or "queer."
So if they want to add a "Q" to the end of LGBT, have a blast. Personally, I'd rather think of the "Q" as "questioning." There's nothing wrong with the word "questioning."
But for those who want to be called "queer," don't call me a "queer." That's already been done before and I'd rather not revisit my reactions.
But that misunderstanding brought something to my attention that I hadn't seen before. Evidently, it's becoming popular to add a "Q" to the end of LGBT...making it LGBTQ.
I'm gay. I write gay fiction and have been for twenty years. No one told me about the "Q."
The "Q" means "queer," or "questioning." At least that's what I've been told. I'm fine with the "questioning" part. But I'm not so sure about the "queer" part.
Of course I know there are gay people who want to refer to themselves as "queer." And they want to be referred to as "queer" by other people. And that's fine for them. Have fun. I just want to make it clear that I'd prefer not to be called "queer" by anyone at any time.
The "Q" word to me is what the "N" word is to some African Americans. It's degrading, denigrating, and insulting. It's hateful at best and hurtful at its worst. It causes pain no matter how you look at it. It makes young gay people living in small towns cringe and recoil. And being a writer, I know how strong words can be.
What prompted me to write this post is that I saw a status update on facebook written by someone of African descent who was stuck in traffic and someone viciously shouted the "N" word to him/her. I'm posting this anonymously, verbatim. But it was posted in a public forum, on facebook, so the person in question must have wanted it known.
This was the status update: "Small town life: Someone just called me a nig!?$ in traffic. I feel racism is a form of mental degeneration. Breath, and onward! #Life"
It killed me to see this. I'm a huge fan of this person and I wanted to scream and punch something. But more than that, I felt this person's pain because I know how it feels to be called "fag" or "queer."
So if they want to add a "Q" to the end of LGBT, have a blast. Personally, I'd rather think of the "Q" as "questioning." There's nothing wrong with the word "questioning."
But for those who want to be called "queer," don't call me a "queer." That's already been done before and I'd rather not revisit my reactions.
Don't Ask Don't Tell...
Last night the l993 law, Don't Ask Don't Tell, that's existed since the Clinton administration, was repealed. In short, this law meant that gays could only be in the military if they were in the closet. News organizations tend to lighten the description of this. But I'd rather call it what it is: forcing gays to remain closeted and in a self-loathing state of mind designed to induce fear.
You can read the full article here. And below I've taken out a few important parts and commented so people fully understand what this means and how there are still a few unresolved issues. I'm thrilled about the appeal. But there is still a long way to go.
There also will be no immediate changes to eligibility standards for military benefits. All service members already are entitled to certain benefits and entitlements, such as designating a partner as one's life insurance beneficiary or as designated caregiver in the Wounded Warrior program.
Gay marriage is one of the thornier issues. An initial move by the Navy earlier this year to train chaplains about same-sex civil unions in states where they are legal was halted after more than five dozen lawmakers objected. The Pentagon is reviewing the issue.
As you can see, this repeal still doesn't grant complete equal rights to gays in the military. If you're a gay couple in the military benefits are just as important to you as they are to straight couples. And, although legalizing same sex marriage in certain states has helped a great deal, gays in the military are still considered second class citizens and the military clearly won't recognize them.
A leading advocate, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, said Monday the repeal is overdue.
"Our nation will finally close the door on a fundamental unfairness for gays and lesbians, and indeed affirm equality for all Americans," the California Democrat said.
The key word in this statement is "a." Because the door was only closed on one fundamental unfairness, not all...especially on a federal level. And while this repeal is certainly something to celebrate. It's by no means time to stop fighting for complete equal rights. And the only way to do this is to let the politicians know it. In the next election our vote will count, so will our contributions. And I've changed the way I vote and contribute in the last four years.
Below is an e-mail I received from a gay friend. I asked his permission to post it here, verbatim, and he granted me that permission. I'm doing it to show how strongly gay people feel about this issue, and also because I doubt the mainstream media will print anything like this. There's also a sense of cynicism here that worries me. And this isn't the only friend I have who feels this way.
Time for celebration? I don't think so, maybe a little, maybe. Here we go again, this will be played up as a victory for gays, especially a political one, but let us NOT forget that we are NOT equal, not even with the repeal of DADT:
"There also will be no immediate changes to eligibility standards for military benefits. All service members already are entitled to certain benefits and entitlements, such as designating a partner as one's life insurance beneficiary or as designated caregiver in the Wounded Warrior program."
In simple terms, if you want your "partner" to live on a military base...NOPE
If you want your partner to have health benefits.....NOPE
If you want your partner to have counseling ........NOPE
If you want your partner to get education benefits......NOPE
If you want to kiss your partner in public.......NOPE
All we got is being able to say "I'm gay" and assurance you will not get kicked out of the closet.
So, if you are straight in the military, you get everything. Being gay, you only get being a beneficiary to a life insurance policy.
Is it me or is this a "shut-up and go-away"? Gays to the back of the tank.
Go figure.
September 18, 2011
Cover Preview: A Young Widow's Promise
This is the preliminary cover draft for the new historical I've been working on, A YOUNG WIDOW'S PROMISE.
I'd like to thank Dawne Dominique, once again, for coming up with something perfect. I sent suggestions that I think drove her a little crazy. Then Dawne added her own special touches and came up with this cover.
And I love it. She nailed it this time, like all the others. If you're an Indie and you're looking for a good cover artist, please check her out here. I can't recommend her enough.
