Ryan Field's Blog, page 495

Architectural Digest Shows "It Does Get Better"

A good friend who spends the winter in Key West e-mailed me yesterday to ask if I'd read the latest issue of AD. I hadn't had time; it was still wrapped in plastic and in my waiting snail mail pile. When he told me I'd like this issue he wasn't joking.

I've been subscribing to AD for at least seventeen years. My brother is one of their advertisers and I've had local friends who have had their homes featured. This is the one print magazine I can't even imagine reading on a digital device, and also the one and only print magazine I still have delivered to my home.

The reason I'm posting about AD today is because the latest issue, "Designer's Own Homes: Signature Style," features a few different homes with older gay couples. And this isn't the first time I've seen this in AD. Many homes, including Ellen's, owned by gay people in long term committed relationships have been featured over the years. It's not announced these people are "gay." Their political opinions aren't discussed and their religious beliefs are not questioned. Their homes are features; their lifestyles are shown. And being gay isn't the number one priority in their lives.

I see more than my fair share of sob stories about gay men and women. And I know the stories are true and I understand how difficult it can be...first hand. But there are far more positive stories about gay men and women we don't see or hear about. Only we don't often see them. And publications like AD show these aspects of gay life in a way that proves it does, indeed, get better.

When my partner, Tony, and I first met twenty years ago we were still in college. After college we started out by buying a two bedroom townhouse and had nothing but two white sofas and a bed. Over the years we've bought and sold property and we've started and sold several businesses. The photo above is just one piece of art I've managed to collect since we've been together because I've always had a strong passion for abstract art. I purchased this Neil Loeb from two older gay men I knew a while back. They were both high end designers in New York and lived on Sutton Place. They were together for 40 years and socialized with people like Sister Parish and Billy Baldwin. I took the abstract painting above in my gallery on consignment and would up falling in love with it and buying it from them. Of course I had to break the news to Tony gently when I told him how much I spent on the painting...but that's another post :)

My point in this post is to try and open up the small window that seems to plague so many in the gay community. We aren't being represented well in so many cases. And to try to get through to younger gay people out there that it really does get better. I don't think there is a gay man or woman on this planet that hasn't undergone some kind of a thrashing at one point in his or her life. But we got through it, we continued to build our lives, and we grew stronger from the experiences that didn't kill us. And publications like Architectural Digest show this in many ways without trying too hard. People don't have choices about who they are all the time. I believe a lot of how we turn out is determined by genetics, which keeps proving itself constantly. But I do believe it is possible to make choices about how we want to live our lives and who we choose to model ourselves after.

I'm working on a new book right now that deals with coming out of the closet. I was inspired by this saying: "The Pursuit of Happiness is the Chase of a Lifetime." I don't know who said this. I don't know where it came from. But I do know it's only going to get better if you keep working at it. Lady Gaga isn't going to do it for you.

Don't Mess With Texas

This video is too cool not to share. It's long, but worth watching.

The Virgin Billionaire's Little Angel - All Romance Ebooks

The Virgin Billionaire's Little Angel - All Romance Ebooks

I never "shared" anything from ARe before. But I wanted to try it out to see if it would make life easier.

I also wanted to thank all the wonderful readers who have purchased and read this last book in the Virgin Billionaire series, The Virgin Billionaire's Little Angel. Although my titles at ravenousromance.com have slowed down a little this year, I'm still working hard on the next novel which I'll post about soon. The title is "Chase of a Lifetime," and it's a May/December m/m romance between two very unlikely guys. A lot of this next book is concentrated on what it's like to be closeted.

I've also been working hard on short stories this year, with a concentration on "New Adult" erotic fiction, for loveyoudivine.com. The short story is my favorite medium, it's where I started writing fiction 20 years ago, and it's where I hope to end someday.

I'd also like to point people to ARe in this post. Although I had a book taken down last week as a result of technical/product description issues (for lack of a better way to describe this), I still find ARe to be one of the superior retail web sites where e-books are sold to get excellent product descriptions. And I know it wasn't their fault the book was taken down.

Thanks again to everyone who has read "The Virgin Billionaire's Little Angel."

I Got My Prize From AJ Llewellyn: Sins of Autumn

Last week I was informed I'd won a prize. I never even win the lottery, so I was more than thrilled. And when I found out the prize was an anthology, "Sins of Autumn," with stories by DJ Manly, AJ Llewellyn, and Serena Yates, I was even happier.

It just came in the mail yesterday and I only had a chance to read a small part of AJ's story late last night. But trust me on this, AJ's story has a hook that drew me in and I can't wait to return to it late tonight.

The mc is sort of a quiet, friendly guy who has what I always refer to as "the love." It's the love of food. He's five seven and weighs in at 250 pounds. In the beginning of the story he's picking up a birthday cake for his trendy LA sister, he gets stuck in traffic on the freeway, and winds up trapped with a delicious birthday cake that's sending him signals he can't resist. He winds up eating a few roses off the cake and smoothing out the frosting with his credit card, hoping his sister won't notice. He's even worried about the credit card contaminating the cake. But he's left with no choice. At the birthday party, when he notices one of the guests he winds up stepping on the dog's foot and then tripping over his own big feet. I laughed until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. And as I write this post, I'm wishing I could stop working right now and go back to the story.

I'd like to thank AJ for the prize. It's also a well designed book, with great cover art and it looks great on the coffee table. The photo I took above is a little blurry, but you can get a good idea of what I'm talking about. If you're looking for something both interesting and funny, check this antho out. It's rare for me to start reading a story and take to the character so soon. I usually need more time. But I fell in love with him right away.

National Read an E-book Week...If You're Not Ready, Take Your Time

When I ran across this web site for "Read an E-book Week," I thought it was a great idea. Even though everyone I know, including my senior mom with her iPad and macbook, reads e-books now, I'm sure there are still those who haven't even seen one. I have one friend who refuses to even consider reading an e-book.

And there's nothing wrong with that. Don't feel pressured about doing it. I do hope everyone who has been curious about e-books at least takes a look at one. For those who don't know this, you don't need an e-reading device to read an e-book. You can download an e-book to your computer. I did it before I purchased my first e-reading device.

But what I'd also like to add (enforce) here is that for those who don't want to read e-books yet, or for those who aren't ready to embrace e-books, you should take your time. I did. I come from a background of traditional publishing and I didn't even start submitting digital mss until early in the last decade. And I only did it then because a publisher told me I had to do it.

Once I started, I never wanted to go back to hardcopy again. The hard part for me now is that I miss certain aspects of traditional print publishing. People treated each other with respect, not animosity. It was the same way with reading e-books on an e-reading device for me. I know I'm supposed to join the "gang" and promote national read an e-book week, only I'm not fond of anything that puts peer pressure on anyone. I needed to decide about e-books in my own time, and when I was ready to make the switch.

So don't feel rushed into doing anything you're not ready to do yet, not even if the e-books are for free. I know .99 doesn't entice me to read anything. When you are ready to make the switch to e-books, you'll know it. And if you're not, things like national read an e-book week can drive you up a wall. I feel the same way about national coming out week. It's a good thing for some gay men because it gives them support, but it also puts needless pressure on those who aren't ready to come out of the closet. I think it's the good old Yankee American in me. Don't tell me what to do or how to do it. I'll figure it out on my own and then I'll tell YOU how to do it. And, I'll tell you the right way, too (smile).

Stories From the Titanic...

Taken aboard the Adriatic before Browne's voyage on the Titanic, the photograph shows two wireless operators. The gentleman on the left is Jack Phillips, who would stick to his post aboard the Titanic summoning rescuers for those who, unlike himself, were leaving the ship in lifeboats. One of the undisputed heroes of the disaster, he is honored by memorials erected on both sides of the Atlantic.

For those interested in learning more about the Titanic, here's web site that will provide stories and tons of information about the doomed ship. I found it while doing research for "Unmentionable: The Men Who Loved on the Titanic."

This link is interesting, too, from enclyclopedia titanica.

This article in Smithsonian.com is compelling. I hadn't seen this while I was researching for the book and I would have made one small revision if I had. I didn't know the name of the band that was playing on the ship that night. Even though this is fiction, I would have added that fact as well.

And this article is one I've been reading in Smithsonian Magazine this month. I didn't see it before the book came out. I wouldn't have changed anything in the book based on this article, but it's a fascinating read in any event. It is the account of what happened that night as told by silent film star, Dorothy Gibson. She boarded the Titanic in France, after it left Southhampton.

Here's one more link for now, with a more Hollywood POV.



One known actress and Titanic survivor was Dorothy Gibson, a pioneering American silent film actress, artist's model and singer active in the early 20th century. Immediately after her rescue she wrote the script and starred in the silent film, Saved from the Titanic (1912). She died at 56 in 1946.

Should "Daddy-Daughter" Date Night at Chick-fil-a be Censored?

Even though Chick-fil-a has been involved in controversy regarding allegations involving opposition to LGBT rights, I can't think of anything more wonderful than what they are doing with "Daddy-Daughter Date Night." I have a recently divorced younger brother who has 50% custody of his three kids...two boys, one girl...and I'm always telling him to make just as much time for his daughter as he does for his sons.

But I have to wonder whether or not Chick-fil-a would be allowed to advertise something like "Daddy-Daughter Date Night," if they were in e-publishing these days. Of course when normal, rational people read about "Daddy-Daughter Date Night" they immediately assume it's a nice time for fathers and daughters to bond together. That's how I took it this morning when I heard about it on the news.

Unfortunately, in digital publishing these days a simple harmless phrase like "Daddy-Daughter" has been taken out of context and turned into something taboo and obscene. This past weekend I spent hours working on a blurb, tag line, and tags for a new release with loveyoudivine.com titled, "Cowboy Howdy." The book is erotic romance, it is for adults only, but there are no underage characters or anything on this list of "taboo" topics that are being banned these days. (For those who don't know, this list of taboo topics is basically the same list I've seen for the past 20 years in all submission guidelines from publishers.) I've never written about underage characters and never will, and yet I spent hours searching for certain words in "Cowboy Howdy" to make sure this book wouldn't be banned and censored. Frankly, I'm a little concerned about "cowboy," because "boy" is part of it.

Words like "Daddy, Dad, boy, student, college, etc..." have now become target words used in order to ban books. Here's an example of two different blurbs from "Cowboy Howdy."

Example One, which is perfectly harmless:

Payne is a typical young gay man from New York City, with the right haircut, clothes, and attitude. He spends a great deal of time keeping his slim body smooth and well-toned for strong, dominant men. Although he's not looking forward to his new college roommate at first, he soon discovers things could have been much worse. The minute Payne meets Howdy he can't take his eyes off his huge shoulders, long legs, and the bulge in his jeans. Howdy's thick Texas accent and his authentic cowboy hat make Payne cover his crotch with a sweatshirt. When he finds out Howdy is there on a football player scholarship, Payne wants to bury his face in Howdy's jock strap. In fact, Howdy is the man of Payne's dreams and he considers seducing him the first day they meet. This leads to an interesting experience that may wind up changing the rest of their first semester. Will Howdy accept Payne's romantic, subtle advances? Or will he find them repulsive and move out of the dorm room that night?

Here's the revision, which had to be changed in order to pass through the search engines that are picking up words that target authors and books:

Payne is a typical gay guy from New York City, with the right haircut, clothes, and attitude. He spends a great deal of time keeping his slim body smooth and well-toned for strong, dominant men. Although he's not looking forward to his new roommate at first, he soon discovers things could have been much worse. The minute Payne meets Howdy he can't take his eyes off his huge shoulders, long legs, and the bulge in his jeans. Howdy's thick Texas accent and his authentic cowboy hat make Payne cover his crotch with a sweatshirt. When he finds out Howdy is there to play football, Payne wants to bury his face in Howdy's jock strap. In fact, Howdy is the full grown man of Payne's dreams and he considers seducing him the first day they meet. This leads to an interesting experience that may wind up changing the rest of their lives. Will these two full grown consenting adults fall in love and will Howdy accept Payne's romantic, subtle advances? Or will he find them repulsive and move out that night?

If you notice, words like "young, college, semester," have been removed from the original. I had to be sure no one would think I wrote something with minors. Even though we assume that everyone in college is over the age of eighteen years old, I even added words like "two full grown consenting adults," to the revision so I wouldn't have to deal with the issue of being banned again. When a book is banned, even without cause, the publisher has to go back and search for the words that caused the book to be banned, and then the retail web site has to go through a review process to see if there's anything in the book that was reason enough to ban it.

These are all harmless words that we use every day in our normal lives. (I removed "scholarship" because I didn't want the book associated with schools.) There's nothing obscene or pornographic about them, and yet now authors will have to be on guard to make sure their books don't get banned. There's something seriously wrong with this. And I hope it never crosses over into the mainstream, because it would be a shame to have to change "Daddy-Daughter Date Night" to something like "Guy-Parent-Female-Offspring Greasy Fast Food Night."

How Censorship Might Hurt PayPal

I've read a great deal about censorship and the PayPal ordeal that's been transpiring. I've heard it's not PayPal's fault because banks are putting pressure on them.

But one of my own books was targeted last week, Skater Boy, and I didn't even fall into any of the banned/taboo subjects. My book was censored, at random, because of tag words that had very little to do with the storyline. A search engine caught it and the book was taken down automatically on a retail web site. It's one thing to be censored for something you've done that falls within the guidelines of the taboo topics. But it's outrageous to have a book banned and censored that doesn't even fall into any of the taboo categories. I agree that all businesses have the right to pick and choose what they want to sell, however, get the facts straight, act like responsible business people, and take this a little more seriously so innocent people aren't targeted. Don't depend on search engines to do your work. This is serious. Do the work yourself and vet the books that are being banned to make sure you aren't targeting innocent people. All someone had to do was read the first line of my book and they would have seen both characters were over twenty-one years old. If we leaned anything from the McCarthy era, the least we should have learned is to get the facts right!!

For those who don't know anything about McCarthyism, here's a link and basic description. Interesting how it relates so closely to the recent censorship situation with regard to innocent authors being targeted:

During the McCarthy era, thousands of Americans were accused of being Communists or communist sympathizers and became the subject of aggressive investigations and questioning before government or private-industry panels, committees and agencies. The primary targets of such suspicions were government employees, those in the entertainment industry, educators and union activists. Suspicions were often given credence despite inconclusive or questionable evidence, and the level of threat posed by a person's real or supposed leftist associations or beliefs was often greatly exaggerated. Many people suffered loss of employment and/or destruction of their careers; some even suffered imprisonment. Most of these punishments came about through trial verdicts later overturned,[1] laws that would be declared unconstitutional,[2] dismissals for reasons later declared illegal[3] or actionable,[4] or extra-legal procedures that would come into general disrepute.

Interestingly enough, I wanted to buy a gift for someone online earlier this evening. I'm not mentioning the name of the company because they have nothing to do with this. But it's a small company, and they evidently only use PayPal for online purchases. At least that's what I saw. Though I've never seen anything like this before, I was automatically directed to PayPal at a certain point during the transaction.

I tried and tried, six times, to go back and see where I could enter a credit card number in order to avoid PayPal. But they continued to redirect me to PayPal.

This annoyed me so much, I finally contacted the owners of the company with this e-mail.

I would like to order a basic starter kit, but I'm being directed to PayPal in order to make the purchase. Though I have a PayPal account, I don't use PayPal any longer due to their recent censorship rules, and I don't see anywhere I can use a credit card.

I live locally, in Buckingham, with a New Hope postal address. I'd like to give the basic starter kit to someone as a birthday gift on March 17th. If there is a way I can avoid PayPal completely and get the product, please let me know. Below is my contact info.

I know this is small, and it's only one purchase. But after what I've been through personally with my own book, and what I've seen others go through with their books, there's no way I'm using PayPal any time soon. Even if it's not PayPal's fault and it is the fault of the banks, I can live without PayPay's decision and censorship of any kind. As an adult, though I have never written any of the taboo topics that are causing books to be banned, I don't need anyone telling me what I can or cannot read or write, thank you.

Same Sex Marriage in Maryland...

The LA Times reported that a bill to legalize same sex marriage in Maryland was signed by Governor Martin O'Malley.

The law will take effect in 2013 if it survives a challenge by opponents, who are already gathering signatures for a referendum.

As you can read in the comment above, there's already opposition. And there's a strong chance this could be changed. Which is why we need protection on a federal level, not just on state levels. And frankly, I'm tired of all politicians pushing it off on the state. This includes Democrats and Republicans. Because this isn't just an emotional issue with regard to equal rights. So far, I'm getting e-mails from all sides asking for money and I have yet to see anyone running for President take a strong, vocal stand stating they will support same sex marriage on a federal level. Other than Fred Karger, who happens to be openly gay and running for President and hasn't received any attention from the media at all.

"For a free and diverse people, for a people of many faiths, for a people committed to the principle of religious freedom, the way forward is always found for the greater respect of the equal rights of all, for the human dignity of all," the Democratic governor said before signing the law.

If that's not a strong message to the federal government I don't know what is. Governors don't make statements like that unless they believe in what they are saying and they are hoping others will stand up and speak out, too.

Lawmakers in New Jersey also passed a gay marriage law last month, only to have Republican Gov. Chris Christie veto it.


This doesn't surprise me. I doubt Christie cares one way or the other about gay marriage deep down. He seems bright and quick to shoot back. He's too slick. I could be wrong, but people who reach a point in life where he is, and people who've had the background and education he has, typically don't care one way or the other. He's just a player. A good player, too. The problem is I'm tired of politicians who are players. I want the real deal...if that's even possible anymore.

In any event, it's wonderful that Gov. O'Malley took a stand, wasn't afraid to speak up, and signed the law. It's a small step in the right direction and if I lived in Maryland I'd be thrilled. Speaking from the POV as someone who's been in a twenty year relationship, and someone who has gone to every length possible with his partner to make sure we're legally covered in case anything arises, I'm tired of not being treated the way everyone else is treated.

I'm Nominated for a Gaybie Award...

I was informed earlier today that I was nominated for a Gaybie award, along with a couple of other authors from loveyoudivine.com.

Here's a link to TLAgay.com, where the nominees are listed. You have to scroll down the page to the "Best E-book" category to see my name, along with Dirk Vanden and Cain Belinger.

Welcome to the 2012 TLA GAYBIE AWARDS, where we're honoring what we feel was the very best work in gay-themed movies and literature from the past year. And, even though we don't have an awards "show," per se, we'll still attempt to be much more concise and entertaining than the Oscars® - which shouldn't be too difficult! No need to thank us. You are very welcome.

This year's nominees were hand-picked by our opinionated, gay-movie-obsessed staff. As for the winners, YOU get to pick them! Scroll down to vote for your favorite movies, books, actors, television shows, blogs and festivals. The winners will be announced April 15th. Don't forget to check back with us to see if your favorites made the final cut! Happy voting!

Scroll down to vote for and honor your favorite gay books and movies released in 2011 and to show some respect for the amazing DVD labels and publishers helping keep these great selections alive.

Voting will close at 11:59PM ET on Sunday March 31st, 2012. We encourage you to vote for your favorite in each category and please feel free to vote more than once. Victory is up to you! Once you've made your selections in each category, be sure to click the large VOTE button at the bottom of the page to record your votes.

The book that was nominated was "You Missed a Spot." I wrote this short story about five years ago, during the hottest summer I can remember in ages. I didn't submit it for publication until much later. But every time I look at the cover I think of the summer of 2007.

I love the fact that they do have a best e-book award. It tells me they are paying attention to the fact that readers are moving to digital books faster by the day. I also like being nominated for an award where I didn't have to submit anything or actually enter. And I'm extremely grateful for the nomination, and to TLAgay.com for being a great place for LGBT people to go for all kinds of entertainment.