Lee Ellis's Blog, page 56
June 15, 2023
3 easy ways to make criticism sting a little less
Insightful, quick advice from friend and colleague, Ralph de la Vega, on the potentially uncomfortable subject of communicating criticism or feedback to someone else. He is one of the most positive, motivating leaders that I know���check out his advice below.
Read “3 easy ways to make criticism sting a little less” on LinkedIn
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June 14, 2023
Quick Tips to Build the 3 Important Elements of Commitment, Courage, and Trust
Commitment and courage go hand in hand, don���t they? You can���t really have one without the other. And when they���re done consistently, trust is inevitably the outcome on this third leg of this stool. But how have other people done this well?
Commitment in the POW Camps
In the POW camp, we were all committed to our country and our military mission. But for clarity, it was a blessing that we had been required to memorize the Military Code of Conduct–six articles that emphasized our loyalty to our country, our leaders, and our team. We would resist the enemy���s efforts to exploit us for their purposes. But once the torture started, it was courage that enabled us to suffer to keep our commitments. It provided the critical consistency and unity that we needed to stay committed.
Commitment at Home
Back home, most of our wives and families stayed committed to us and that often meant that they had to resist the policy of ���Keep Quiet��� of our own government until they could convince our leaders to go public.
Can you imagine the humble ladies that adapted to courageously confront the President of the United States and the Secretary of Defense and their agencies to convince them to ���Speak Up��� about our bad treatment? How inspiring!
Balancing the Scale of Trust
Keeping your commitments is essential to be a person of character in all situations because without it, people will lose their trust in you. And as we all know, trust is the anchor for all good relationships. Also, it was very clear in the stories told in the new book ���Captured by Love��� that commitment and courage were the foundation requirements for POWs and wives to learn to adapt their behaviors to succeed in difficult situations.
What���s Your Commitment Story? Please share it below, and remember at home and at work, commitment is essential but can only be kept through courage. Also, read this entire post at tinyurl.com/Jun23Coaching
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June 13, 2023
Praise for Captured by Love – See Inside
The testimonials keep coming for ���Captured by Love��� ��� check out a few new ones, and thank you for your support of these 20 Top Gun POW stories of romance and resilience:
���Authors Lee Ellis and Greg Godek skillfully highlight the stories of these heroic men and women with empathy and historical context. Through example, the reader gains valuable lessons on the power of love and its ability to conquer all obstacles���even those of war, torture, and solitary confinement in the Hanoi Hilton.��� – Heath Hardage Lee, Author of The League of Wives
���I am grateful for the vision in creating the Captured by Love that focuses on our amazing Vietnam POWs and their personal marital relationships. I believe readers will be moved to tears, laughter, and deep reflection, as well as gain new and fresh insight into their own personal relationships.��� – Gen Robin Rand USAF (Ret), Former Commander, Air Force Global Strike Command and Commander, Air Forces Strategic ��� Air, U.S. Strategic Command
���What a great lesson that I learned reading the Captured by Love book���how the POW wives courageously led at home while their men were in captivity. These leaders at home and abroad are a great reminder that behind every great leader is someone who cheers them on, believes in them and keeps them going even when it���s hard.��� – Dee Ann Turner, Author, Speaker, Leader at Dee Ann Turner & Associates
���In this compassionate and thoughtful book, Lee Ellis tells the other part of the story: the strength of the families back home. A touching tribute to the wives that kept their husbands going through their darkest times, and a reminder that the most important bond of all is love.��� – Shannon Huffman Polson, Former U.S. Army Captain (RET) is the Author of The Grit Factor; Courage, Resilience and Leadership in the Most Male Dominated Organization in the World and North of Hope: A Daughter���s Arctic Journey
Read more at POWromance.com/Endorsement
���2023 Amazon Best Seller in Military Families and Survival Biographies & Memoirs���
#VietnamWar50th #WelcomeHome2023 #CapturedbyLove
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June 11, 2023
Historical Highlight for June 11, 2023
Historical Highlight for June 11, 2023 ��� here’s a short historical fact from the history of the Vietnam war and the POW experience shared in the new Captured by Love book. In each of these nuggets of history are personal and professional lessons that can be applied today:
Keep Quiet!
In the early years of the war (1965 to 1968), POW/MIA families were told that the policy was to ���keep quiet.��� It was part of the State Department���s ���quiet diplomacy��� and the belief that publicity might bring punishments on their husbands.
This policy also meant that the military bases did not talk much about the missing men. There was little support for the wives who, in many cases, were almost treated like outsiders, especially since the people in most units turn over every 24 to 36 months. And to some degree they were seen as being a threat to morale���the presence of POW/MIA wives could be a painful reminder of the dangers of war.
Facing tough decisions when their husbands were missing was a difficult psychological battle. For example, should you move to be near your family, or should you stay near the base and the military community? And for many, their powers of attorney dates were expiring. Should you wait faithfully for your husband whose status is unknown, and he���s already been missing for two or three years? Or should you move on and find another good man?
Consider the challenges that these women and families were facing. Keeping quiet meant that they were not supposed to be sharing their story with others. So, at the same time their husbands were locked up in maximum security cell blocks to keep them discouraged and isolated from their peers and teammates, the wives were being isolated and told not to discuss their situation publicly. At a time when they most needed to be in a support community, they were often alone, facing the toughest times of their lives.
Yes, the POWs were tough and suffered, but the women stood strong and matched them in different yet painful situations. Their character, courage, and commitment were remarkable and enabled them to set a great example of leadership and teamwork that will inspire all generations.
Purchase your copy of Captured by Love
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June 9, 2023
Captured by Love Wisdom for Today, June 9, 2023
“Keeping your commitments is essential to be a person of character in all situations because without it, people will lose their trust in you.” ��� Lee Ellis
The post Captured by Love Wisdom for Today, June 9, 2023 appeared first on Leading With Honor��.
June 8, 2023
Coaching Clip – Powerful Examples of Commitment in Life and Leadership
In this new coaching clip, Lee shares two powerful stories on the power of commitment to effect change in one���s personal and professional life. Do you need some inspiring examples of commitment to reignite that attribute in you or your team? Watch and hear Lee���s advice.����������
Read the entire blog on this topic – “The Cure for Lack of Team Commitment: Lessons from History”
Amazon Bestseller! 20 Top Gun Romance Stories
Captured by Love��shares the real love stories of 20 Vietnam War POWs. Some had wives who started a movement that changed American foreign policy. Others came home and had to start over, while five single men met the loves of their lives.
Former POW Lee Ellis and love expert Greg Godek take you on a dramatic journey of faithfulness, passion, excitement, resilience, and practical love lessons from these couples.
New Amazon Bestseller in the Military Families and Survival Biographies & Memoirs
Order Your Copy on Amazon.comRead some sample stories
The post Coaching Clip – Powerful Examples of Commitment in Life and Leadership appeared first on Leading With Honor��.
June 6, 2023
Coaching Blog – The Cure for Lack of Team Commitment: Lessons from History
Commitment and courage go hand in hand, don���t they? You can���t really have one without the other. And when they���re done consistently, trust is inevitably the outcome. But how have other people done this well?
Let���s review some additional life and leadership principles that are amazingly demonstrated in our new book Captured by Love: Inspiring Tree Romance Stories from Vietnam POWs. So many of these love and marriage lessons and principles apply at work and vice versa.
Commitment in the POW Camps
In the POW camp, we were all committed to our country and our military mission. But for clarity, it was a blessing that we had been required to memorize the Military Code of Conduct—six articles that emphasized our loyalty to our country, our leaders, and our team. We would resist the enemy���s efforts to exploit us for their purposes. But once the torture started, it was courage that enabled us to suffer to keep our commitments. It provided the critical consistency and unity that we needed to stay committed.
Commitment at Home
Back home, most of our wives and families stayed committed to us and that often meant that they had to resist the policy of ���Keep Quiet��� of our own government until they could convince our leaders to go public.
Can you imagine the humble ladies that adapted to courageously confront the President of the United States and the Secretary of Defense and their agencies to convince them to ���Speak Up��� about our bad treatment? How inspiring!
Balancing the Scale of Trust
“Keeping your commitments is essential to be a person of character in all situations because without it, people will lose their trust in you.” [Tweet This]
And as we all know, trust is the anchor for all good relationships. Also, it was very clear in our stories that commitment and courage were the foundation requirements for POWs and wives to learn to adapt their behaviors to succeed in difficult situations.
In the book, the 20 stories of couples move back and forth between the POWs in cells and the wives of the POW/MIAs back home. The risks by everyone to keep their commitments gives motivating examples that highlight this month���s focus.
My brief coaching clip this month goes deeper on this topic. Please watch, and then continue reading the blog below ���
A Tale of Two Heroes
Pictured: Paul and Phyllis Galanti
This story highlights the courageous commitment of Paul and Phyllis Galanti. Paul is an outgoing, fun guy and a Navy fighter/attack pilot who was a POW for more than six years. Yet, he courageously used his quick thinking and courage to outsmart our captors and make them look bad when they used a foreign journalist/photographer to snap his picture.
Paul and I were cellmates, and he was a great risk taker and always spoke positively to encourage us that we should and could keep our commitments. And like him, my other cellmates demonstrated courageous resistance.
His wife Phyllis was a very reserved and shy person, who did not like to speak in front of a group. Yet she traveled to European countries and the Paris Peace talks to confront Vietnamese diplomats about our inhumane treatment.
Because of her commitment, she courageously led the National League of Wives�� as state president in Virginia and later became the Chairman of the National League of POW/MIA wives and families.
Two Love Stories and a Thriller
Pictured: Steve and Carol Hanson
Out on the west coast, there was another great example of commitment and courage- Carole and Steve Hanson and then Carole and Jim Hickerson.
Carole Hanson was married to Steve, a Marine helicopter rescue pilot. Steve was deployed to the War while Carole was eight months pregnant with their first child. A few months later Steve was shot down and was MIA for almost six years. After a couple of years of keeping quiet, she decided to speak up about the POW/MIA situation���the North Vietnam Communist (our captors) were not abiding by the Geneva Conventions. She wrote a letter requesting public support for the POW/MIA situation and sent�� hundreds of letters to newspapers asking them to publish it. Many of them did and she was a key mover and shaker in getting the early League of Wives moving.
As the League got going, Carole encouraged the launch of the POW/MIA bracelets that became so crucial to the rapid expansion of support across the US for POW/MIAs. She was even able to get Hollywood stars like John Wayne to wear her husband���s bracelets.
Unfortunately, Steve Hanson did not come home���but soon Carole met a returning POW whose wife had moved on to divorce him. The empathy between them grew from a spark to a giant flame in a few months and they have been committed to each other in marriage for almost 49 years now.
Pictured: Jim and Carole Hickerson
What���s Your Commitment Story?
These two stories are incredible examples of commitment that had different outcomes, but in Carole���s case soon turned into a beautiful love story that endures forever.
What���s your commitment story? Please share it with us, and remember at home and at work, commitment is essential but can only be kept through courage.
LE [Tweet This Article]
Amazon Bestseller! 20 Top Gun Romance Stories
Captured by Love��shares the real love stories of 20 Vietnam War POWs. Some had wives who started a movement that changed American foreign policy. Others came home and had to start over, while five single men met the loves of their lives.
Former POW Lee Ellis and love expert Greg Godek take you on a dramatic journey of faithfulness, passion, excitement, resilience, and practical love lessons from these couples.
New Amazon Bestseller in the Military Families and Survival Biographies & Memoirs
Order Your Copy on Amazon.comRead some sample stories
You can read it as the first ���Historical Highlight��� on page 18 of the new book Captured by Love.
The Geneva Conventions were a set of treaties after WWII that required signers to provide captured soldiers with lenientand humanetreatment. Also, they required that the captors give the names of all those held in prison and let the world know who was not captured.
The League of Wives soon transitioned to the National League of POW/MIA families mentioned earlier.
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Interview – America in the Morning with John Trout
Great 5-minute interview with Lee on ���America in the Morning with John Trout��� highlighting the importance of relationships and how couples work together to overcome challenges ��� please listen ��
Purchase your copy of Captured by Love
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June 4, 2023
Historical Highlight for June 4, 2023
Historical Highlight for June 4, 2023 ��� Throughout the new book ���Captured by Love���, we share short facts from the history of the Vietnam war and the POW experience. In each of these nuggets of history are personal and professional lessons that can be applied today:
Torture���In Their Own Words
���Starting in the fall of 1965, all hell broke loose. For the next four years, men were consistently being tortured or severely punished in every camp. In one particularly painful torture, they tied you up like a pretzel. With your hands behind your back, they ratcheted your elbows together until they touched���then tied them tightly. This cut off your circulation. Then one torturer pushed your arms up and the other shoved your head down toward the floor with his foot. (The drawing shown above is one of many that I sketched shortly after our release and included in my book.)
���Sometimes these sadistic torturers would tie your hands behind your back and then loop another rope through your arms and hang you mid-air from a beam.��� ���Prisoner of War: Six Years in Hanoi, Mike McGrath, pg. 79.
���The torturer���seized the end of the strap binding his arms and heaved upward. His whole upper body exploded and his eyes flooded. The pain increased. Indescribable. Pectoral muscles tore against their anchor points and his sternum pushed outward as rib ends tried to pull away from it.���His muscles were being torn apart, slowly, jerking, slowly, jerking. He screamed and screamed.��� ���Prisoner at War: The Survival of Commander Richard A. Stratton, Scott Blakey, pgs. 91-92.
���We were made to lie on our stomachs on the floor, no shirt, pants down to our ankles, and were beaten with a fan belt. The guard stood back and took several steps toward me, whipping the fan belt from behind his back in an arc, bringing it down across my back, flaying the skin off and turning the back of my body into hamburger. The impact was so hard that my body bounced off the floor and quivered with pain.��� ���The Ways We Choose, Dave Carey, pg. 54.
���I had no socks and my feet swelled up and felt as if pins were stuck into the soles and toes…The more I dozed off, the more regularly the guards came in to bat me around, slapping and kicking at random. Forbidden to get up and use even the primitive toilet facilities, I managed to contain my bowel movements for some days, but I could not hold in my urine. The damp and soiled clothing added to my discomfort, particularly in the cold night hours. After four days of nothing but stolen catnaps, I was almost immune to their physical and verbal abuse.��� ���Chained Eagle, Everett Alvarez, pg. 169.
���Interrogations were often conducted while a POW was on his knees. After several hours, his knees became flattened, red and swollen. If quicker results were desired, a small rock would be placed under each knee. I once spent 30 hours over two days on my knees as punishment because a guard had caught me peeking out of my room through a floor-level vent.��� ���Prisoner of War: Six years in Hanoi, Mike McGrath, pgs. 44-45.
Purchase your copy of Captured by Love. Available in print, ebook, and audiobook formats.
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June 2, 2023
Captured by Love Wisdom for Today, June 2, 2023
#courage #accountability #VietnamWar50th #WelcomeHome2023 #CapturedbyLove POWRomance.com
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