Zoe E. Whitten's Blog, page 59

Thoughts on blurbs…

Lately, I’ve been joking a lot about blurbs from big names. I don’t mean the back of the book blurbs, but rather those one line compliments that publishers and authors solicit for their books from well known writers. It’s not something I’ve ever pursued seriously because in talking with readers online most have said that they don’t pay any mind to these endorsements, regardless of how big the endorser is.

Still, I find myself wondering if I somehow got a blurb from a celebrity author, what would I do with it? Since I mostly publish ebooks, I don’t add a lot of extra text to the covers. It would clutter up the image, and anyway, you won’t be able to read tiny blurbs on the postage stamp image sample. It seems like a waste of space to put them on the first page of the ebook, and I’d much rather add a little note thanking people for taking a look at my stuff and then get on with the story telling.

But again, imagine that one day, out of the clear blue, I got an email from a big time author who said, “I just read this book, and I thought it was amazing.” Then, might I feel the temptation to ask for a blurb as endorsement of the title? Since I have so few reviews, a glowing one line review from any author would seem to be the perfect excuse for a little extra promotion, like “this famous author loved my book, and this is what they had to say about it.”

I think I’d feel more temptation to add a blurb if, say Stephen King or Anne Rice said something good, where as I’d be less inclined to ballyhoo an endorsement from Maurice Broaddus or Carlton Mellick III. It’s not a matter of respect, because I have huge amounts of respect for both of these guys. It’s just that they aren’t very well known outside of their markets. Another good example is John A. Lindqvist, who I am in awe of for his story crafting abilities, and who is nevertheless still unknown to a lot of readers even after Let The Right One In got turned into two theatrical releases.

Everyone knows King and Rice, so a blurb from them seems more like a strong selling point. But with the others, it’s only a selling point if the reader already knows and loves the author in question. What I’m saying is, even people who don’t read King and Rice still know who they are, and their name power carries an air of respect even with their work being unread by the blurb viewer.

On occasion, I have sent books to authors I respect, but I am always careful to hedge my request with assurances that I’m not looking for a blurb, just their opinion on whether the story is all right. And, more often than not, their answers are a mixed bag. Is the story good? Yes, but. And that but is usually that my writing style and my methods of telling the story are not mainstream. That’s not something I can use as a selling point to casual readers. “Good story, but too challenging for the mainstream” isn’t a strong selling point.

And then there’s the possibility that I could get a blurb from an author I despised. Or rather, I should say that I despised their writing style, since there’s only one or two authors who I actively loathe for their opinions on certain topics. I won’t name names for this example because this isn’t about tearing down the authors or their personal beliefs. But for those few writers I really disliked, I’d have a hard time even thanking them for reading my book, much less for their compliments. But what about a writer who I read their book and hated it, and they loved my book? Would I want to tout their interest, or would I just thank them in email and move on?

And finally, what about authors known to blurb everything? Since I’m not downing his work, I’ll use Piers Anthony as an example. Again, I’m not knocking his books, but it seems to me that he would give a favorable blurb to any book offered to him, even if the work was awful. Piers seems to be the go to guy when you need someone to say something nice when no one else will. Like, he might even blurb a cookbook with “The most amazing recipes I’ve ever seen in my whole life.” So what would I do if Piers read one of my books and then lavished praise upon it? I’m not sure, and it’s because I’m not sure I could trust that he really meant what he said. Which is kinda stupid, because why would he send an unsolicited compliment if he didn’t mean it?

I suppose I’m thinking on this because as my back catalog grows, there’s a lot of titles that I wish I could spend more time promoting, but I’ve already passed the appropriate shelf life for repeated ads. Sometimes I think about posting a list of linked titles that are two and three years old, but that I still want to draw new readers’ attention to. So I wonder, how can I promote these older works to new people in a way that doesn’t feel like panhandling? I can’t very well say, “buy these books so I can afford more music, books, and weed.” Even though I have thought about using that line many, many times because I consider it akin to the homeless guy who writes “Why lie? I need money for beer” on his cardboard sign. (And who then proceeds to take the money he gets for his “honesty” into a grocery store to buy a week’s worth of sandwich fixings.)

I guess it’s a moot point, since I don’t solicit blurbs from authors, nor do I expect them to pick up my titles through Amazon and feel so compelled by my stuff that they volunteer a blurb. I mean, it’s a nice thought, but much like my fantasies of moving to Amsterdam, it seems a very unlikely long shot. Still, stranger things have happened. After all, I never expected that I’d move to Italy and become a housewife right up until it actually happened. So anything is possible, right?

Petition for CeCe McDonald

I know I just wrote about this yesterday, and I gave you requests to write to CeCe McDonald directly, and I gave you contacts for Governor Dayton, both online and regular mail. But if writing a letter seems hard, (and I can totally understand, because I spent a long time looking at a blank page and wondering what to write, and I’m a writer) this is a petition to the governor, and it currently only has 304 signatures. (Mine included.) So you could sign this in one minute, tops, and adding a reason for signing is optional.

Please, I am begging all of my readers to take this time to help a woman who has been convicted under the most inhumane and negligent form of justice after defending her life from people shouting racial and homophobic slurs. One of the men attacking her had a swastika tattoo. But instead of all her attackers going to prison for an obvious hate crime, an innocent woman is being held in a men’s prison for choosing not to lay down and die. Search yourself, and you cannot help but know this is a perversion of justice.

Every day that CeCe is locked up, she is at risk of being raped or assaulted, further adding insult to injury. Do the right thing, and take a minute to sign the petition, even if you don’t write to CeCe. Please.

Writing ramble…

Despite the weather bouncing like a rubber ball in a fast-paced game of jacks, I’ve been having an exceptionally strong week in terms of writing. I’ve been able to knock out several episodes of All Maid Up, and I’ve finished at least one chapter of Thicker Than Blood every day this week. My word count in just seven days is higher than the last three months combined, so it’s safe to say that the article I read on being weird has got me back in the groove.

I’m working on a couple of side projects for petty cash, and coming up in the next month or so, my editor will be launching an Indiegogo campaign for Roll the Bones, book three in the Peter the Wolf series. I’m arranging the goodies that Tara gives out as incentives, but she’s setting up the campaign so she can collect all the funds for her diligent efforts. Even if we meet the goal and get her a decent editing fee, I’m still cutting her in for 10% of sales, just like I have for the first two books. But as I think I’ve said before, sales haven’t been high enough to pay her properly for all the work she’s done. Which is not to say sales have been terrible. They’re just not enough to properly pay my editor what she deserves for all her work in the last few months.

I’ll be honest and admit I’m nervous about this campaign. Neither the fate of the book nor the series hangs on its success, but I do want to give Tara more money to help her care for her toddler and pay some bills. No, I’m nervous because I don’t know if I can convince enough people to donate to make the whole effort worth all the work Tara’s put into the books, and into the campaign itself. I’ve had friends online who ran campaigns for their books and hit their goals within two days of starting, and then I’ve seen others run a campaign for a full month and only make a quarter of their goal. Add to this my history of weak promotions and weaker reception to said promotions, and I’m feeling more nervous about this than I ever have submitting my work with publishers. Cause really, if you get a rejection from a publisher, there’s always someone else to go to. If you can’t get a project funded from the readers, there’s not many options left.

Either way, the series will get finished, and despite the shaky initial reception to the first book, I’m still proud of Peter and his growth over the series from an angry child blaming others for his problems into a young adult who is beginning to overcome the hurdles created by his abusive parents. It’s not easy to deal with topics of sexual abuse and recovery, and I know some people feel I’ve gone too far in detailing Peter’s sexual addiction, or that I shouldn’t have written about the topic in a fantasy setting. But I’ve also talked to readers of the first two books who understood that my intention was to highlight an all too common problem through the eyes of a victim who was at risk of falling through the holes in society’s safety net. So whatever happens with the next two books, I know there will be some readers who can relate to Peter and his problems, even if they are sometimes uncomfortable with the mistakes he makes during the course of his story.

It’s easy to write a character who everyone likes and can readily identify with. But I wanted to make someone complex, someone whose story is supposed to make readers feel conflicted about following along. I wanted to make a story where there aren’t easy answers that can be overcome with a plot device, and where the point isn’t for the main character to save the world, or even a city. As I reach the conclusion of book four, I feel like I’ve accomplished my goals, and I think readers who make the risky investment in Peter will find the conclusion logical and satisfying, even if the series isn’t tied up with a happily ever after ending.

It still remains to be seen if the series will grow beyond the small handful of readers into a proper fandom, but either way, I’m happy with Peter’s story, and I’m thankful to everyone who bought the first two books and didn’t ask for a refund. I appreciate those of you who took the risk, and I thank you for your continued support. When we launch the Indiegogo campaign, I hope you’ll donate to Tara and get the book from her, and I’d like to ask you to bug your friends about donating too. Frankly, me, Tara, and Peter need all the help we can get, and I’m not too proud to beg.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to writing, or the muse is going to drive me nuts with her constant yammering.

CeCe McDonald

I’m not going to make a long post on this because this article is better at explaining the details of who CeCe is, and why she’s now imprisoned for manslaughter despite defending herself during a hate crime attack. Before I say anything, I also want to bring to your attention this legal brief explaining that the judge in CeCe’s case is married to the assistant county attorney. This is not just a minor problem. It’s a breach of the justice system. With the cards stacked so heavily against her, CeCe was forced to take a plea bargain.

For self-defense from men who were trying to kill her while shouting “faggot” and “nigger.” This case should have never gone to trial. The charges should have been dismissed. If we lived in a rational world, CeCe should be talking to the mayor and getting some kind of merit award for her bravery in the face of certain death.

But CeCe is trans, and she’s black, and we don’t live in a rational world. So CeCe now looking at a 41 month sentence for defending herself. The message to the trans community couldn’t be more clear: if you’re attacked by a group of men, kindly lay down, shut the fuck up, and drop dead.

I’ll be following CeCe’s story if anything comes of the motion filed against the judge, but for now, CeCe is trapped and dealing with an inhumane punishment. She needs some support, and she needs to know she’s not alone. So, I don’t ask y’all to do anything too often, but I’m asking you to visit this link and take down the address to write directly to CeCe. Let her know that you care, and that she hasn’t been abandoned by everyone. You don’t have to send gifts, since packages will just be returned anyway. Just send a short letter expressing your support.

And if I can get you to do one more thing, please write to the governor of Minnesota to let him know about CeCe’s case. If enough people write in, perhaps we can swing a pardon for CeCe even if her case isn’t overturned via other legal maneuvers.

Like I said, I don’t bug you folks to get out there and do things for other people, but this case is extremely upsetting to me because it never should have gone this far. If a white cisgender woman fought off her attackers and killed two of them, her story would be heading to Lifetime for a movie of the week. It isn’t fair that because of CeCe’s lower social status, she’s bounced through a kangaroo court and serving time for self-defense. If this seems as disgusting to you as it is to me, then please, help Cece with a couple letters.

Thank you.

EDIT: If, like me, you cannot use the governor’s contact form because you are outside the US, here is the regular mail address:

Office of the Governor

130 State Capitol

75 Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.

St. Paul, MN 55155

Review update: Escape Plan

Today Escape Plan was patched to fix the fiddly gesture controls, and the scoring was changed so that only a player’s time through a level was graded instead of the number of gestures used. This huge patch also includes a DLC pack, Bakuki’s Lair, adding several new levels which play as a sort of prequel to the original levels.

So, do the fixed game and extra levels change my opinion of the game? Not in the slightest. While I found some levels were more forgiving due to the improved gestures, the vast majority of levels still had me holding the Vita in uncomfortable positions, or they had me fiddling with the camera stick while trying to also tap the front AND back touch panels AT THE SAME TIME. I have to wonder if any of the developers bothered to play these levels before inflicting them on their customers. Twice, I dropped my Vita in my lap because I was being asked to plug a leaking valve at the top of the screen with one hand and swipe the characters with the other. At one point, I even had to ask hubby to lend a finger because I couldn’t plug four leaks and still tell Lil and Laarg what to do. It’s like a multi-touch version of Twister, except Twister is more fun.

The DLC pack’s biggest new feature appears to be that the game now shoots sausages at the characters for several levels. They’re not in all the DLC levels, but they were in quite a few, and in addition to being ugly, they’re annoying. This game was already annoying enough without giant wieners shoving me off a ledge, really.

I had to play through the entire game again to unlock the DLC, and I found myself skipping the exact same levels in this second run as I did the first time I played. The DLC didn’t feel like a reward for suffering through the repeated levels, and the most damning part is, even on the levels I did play, I didn’t find them fun. Not even a little bit. This isn’t a game so much as a tech demo of the touch and tilt controls, and much like Little Deviants, the charm wears off long before the game is over.

A final observation: the credits list a lot of people, and I find it kind of depressing that it took so many people just to make this unimpressive mess. If you’re looking for a short cheap game to add to your Vita, I’d recommend Super Stardust Delta over this pain in the ass. Unless you’re a masochist, stay away from Escape Plan.

Da monthly butt smooching…

Today has been extremely hard on me. The temperature shot up to 24 after weeks of 16-19 highs and 7-9 lows. This is bad enough, but now the temperature plummeted 10 degrees in the span of one hour. This is so not good for someone with MS, and I’ve dropped into a fatigue coma and lost most of my day.

When I got up, I found an email from Amazon’s US branch, a payment of royalties statement. I’d just got a statement for the UK branch yesterday, and adding up both amounts, this has been a pretty good month.

So, even if I feel like strained baby poop, I’m determined to keep up at least one new habit, that of the monthly butt smooching for my readers. So, let me get down on one knee and assume the appreciation reciprocation position. This might take a minute, cause I’m slow today.

Okay, so, I know I’m rough around the edges and abrasive as sandpaper toilet tissue. I know I don’t make it easy to find my stuff, and I’m lousy at the ballyhoo efforts. And yet, every month, there’s a few of you buying my stuff. And more amazingly, you don’t ask for refunds.

I cannot properly express how much I appreciate y’all, but your continued support has been invaluable in keeping me going. I can only hope that once the weather stabilizes, me and the muse can come up with some new stories for you.

On being weird…

This last post I want to share with you today, I wish had been something my parents said to me. Alas, I grew up in a redneck family in Texas, and so even my parents were forcing me to conform.

It took me years to come out from under the crushing pressure to conform and not be so strange. I’d repressed myself so completely that for a few years I was transphobic. (Though, curiously, I wasn’t homophobic. I even had a gay dude embrace me and fondle my crotch, and I just said, “Sorry, but that doesn’t do anything for me.”) That’s how deeply in denial I slipped to avoid being abused any further. Everything about me was defined by someone else, and I just stopped questioning it. It was easier to give up and go with the flow, even if doing it made me feel miserable.

Anywho, the thing is, over the last few years, I’ve come to accept a lot of things about myself that I’d formerly run from. Even something like getting my hair cut short had more to do with being shamed over my messy hair in my childhood than it did with any personal sense of style. The ironic thing is, messy short hair has apparently become fashionable, because people tell me, “I love what you’ve done with your hair,” and I haven’t don’t anything. I don’t even comb it. I just sweep my hand over the top to get the strays all going in the same general direction. And yet, it somehow now looks good to others. Makes me want to track down my elementary school teachers, just so I can point at them and give a cheery “Ha-ha!”

But I’ve had this crisis of faith where I’ve begun to question the point of what I’m writing. This blog post has inspired me again, and it’s made me realize, I don’t need to worry what a few people think of my writing, nor do I need to worry about them declaring that they know me just because they’ve read something into my stories. I can keep cranking out my stuff without feeling bad over offending a few people here and there. And no matter what I write, it isn’t reflective of who I am as a person. I mean, really, I write sex into every other book, but my own sex life? Non-existent. Yeah, I know, it’s boring, but since I have this crazy idea about only wanting sex if there’s love involved, one-night stands with hot lesbians are out. *Sigh*

My favorite part of the post is this:

You don’t get there by acculturating. Don’t become a well-rounded person. Well rounded people are smooth and dull. Become a thoroughly spiky person. Grow spikes from every angle. Stick in their throats like a pufferfish.

This quote alone is giving me a renewed feeling of purpose. I can’t say it’s going to translate in a new writing frenzy just yet, but I’m going to print this quote out in giant bold text, and I’m going to tack it to my wall. I’m going to make it my daily mantra. I need this because it reminds me that I’m not a character in a book, and I don’t have to be likable to the mainstream to have a sense of self-worth.

And after all, I’m not writing to please the mainstream. I’m writing to say, “These other people exist, and even if you hate them, we shouldn’t be erasing their experiences just because they make the moral majority squirm.”

So, I guess what I’m saying is, after I finish Peter’s last book and Ginger’s serial, I’m going to go ahead and write about gay sparkly werewolves. Then I’ll probably start Alice’s series, or work on another book for Sandy. Not because I see a demand in the mainstream for these kinds of stories. No, because it’s what I want to write. And if you don’t like it, well hey, there’s thousands of writers out there who all write with the express purpose of soothing your vanities.

I don’t want to be well rounded. I want to be a spiky punk, and damn it, it’s okay for me to be weird. The sooner I accept that, the sooner I can get back to kicking those professional writers’ asses with my 10K a day writing frenzies.

Fear me for being weird, but I don’t care. I’ve got my groove back on, and I’m just about ready to go Gonzo again.

Gamers making death threats for stupid, shallow reasons…

This second post for the day almost goes hand in hand with the last, because this is a good example of someone having a privilege and abusing it. What am I talking about? This Kotaku article on game makers getting death threats from players. Perhaps the most troubling part of the article is this:

Condon had had other threats, mostly triggered by that same offense of moving his games to Facebook. “I’ve had a bunch over the years,” he said. “I’ve been doing browser based stuff for about five years.. and that crowd can be rough, real rough. Especially when you make the move to social games: Oh, the seething anger.”

That’s people who were getting stuff free, and who can still get the new stuff free, but who don’t like Facebook. Folks, I HATE Facebook, but if a game company moved to making Facebook games, I would never think, I’m going to send those motherfuckers a death threat. No, it takes an extremely privileged person to think that their “right” to get something free online is so vital that the only proper response is an attempt to scare the target of their ire.

Death threats online are so common because a lot of people sit down and write without thinking at all. I know, some of my rants seem like I’m not thinking, but I spend an hour or two after a rant editing my post to make sure it’s not too incoherent. And at no time do I wish someone would die just because they’ve displeased me. I hated Shinobido 2, but I don’t want anyone at Namco to drop dead. I just want them to make a better game next time.

People online get so ridiculous in their debates. And we’re not even talking about important issues, like what to do about global climate change, or how to deal with racism and sexism. No, people are out there threatening death to each other over topics like JRPGs versus Western RPGs, Xbox VS PS3, and Vita VS 3DS.

The excuse given for this immature behavior is always the same. Online communication is so easy that people just say the first thing that comes to mind. Everyone has this ease of instant communication, but it takes a special kind of childish douchebag to resort to intimidation over an actual response. So if a gamer’s first thought in any debate is “Bitch, I’ma kill you,” then maybe, just maybe, they need to grow the fuck up and learn a little empathy before they attempt to engage other people in any form of discourse.

But that is of course wishful thinking, hoping that the gaming community would grow up and stop acting like a pack of spoiled brats.

Thoughts on privilege…

Gonna be a few blog posts today. Links on Twitter were coming in yesterday pretty fast, and I got to the point where my browser was scrolling tabs off the side because I was trying to save stuff that I wanted to talk about. Eventually, I got this pared down a bit.

This first post is short because I want to point you to an excellent summary on privilege, and what does and doesn’t qualify as privilege.

I have a unique postion on privilege, being that during my twenties, I was given privileges that I had never been allowed to have in my teens or formative years. Like most folks who have privilege, it was often hard to see when I was exercising or defending it. But it can honestly be said that loss of that privilege was one of my major concerns before I transitioned.

I’ve learned since then that the most common response to someone calling out privilege is shunning by those who are privileged. This is because most people live with the vain idea that they’re really, “good people,” and so any evidence to the contrary must be ignored. Or to borrow a line from a song, “I see all good people turn their heads to stay so satisfied.”

The thing is, it is possible to lose some privilege, and yet still retain it in other areas. Consider how being perceived as a fully white person, I get to have privilege over trans POC. My personal narrative can, if I choose, take precedence over the voices of trans people who are suffering worse atrocities than I do, or ever have in the past. And while I had it pretty rough, I also understand from constant reading online that I still got off light.

Which is why I try to point out that privilege isn’t something as simple as being in one boxed category or another. A black man may not have white privilege, but among his own community, he still has male privilege. A white woman won’t have male privilege, but she will have white privilege. And so on and so forth.

And, as the article says, just having a privilege doesn’t make you bad. It’s what you choose to do with your privilege that defines your goodness, or lack thereof. Which is why it’s important for people to acknowledge which forms of privilege they’ve been given. Because ignorance of one’s status, whether intentional or not, can lead to people committing terrible atrocities against others without any sense of remorse.

We all need to be aware of this, regardless of our positions in life. Which is why it’s just as important to discuss privilege as it is to talk about gender, sex, and race. These issues will not go away just because the moral majority wishes it would. We have to talk about these problems, or these wounds in our societies will remain festering, resulting time and again in outbreaks of racism, sexism, and ableism.

So, take a minute or two to think about who you are, and what privileges you have. Then take a few more minutes to look at other people and compare their experiences to yours. This is the only way we can learn and overcome these challenges.

Shaking my head…

This won’t quite qualify as a rant, and it’s going to be too short for a ramble, but I…no, just take a look at this story about a teacher who had sex with a student…while her own daughter was sleeping in the same bed. Go ahead, it’s a short story, and just a quick summary, so it shouldn’t be too triggery.

Finished? Okay, I’m floored by this. I just said this on twitter, but I need to repeat it. I write some messed up shit in my books. I don’t make excuses for it, and I know my stuff can be troubling for a lot of people. But I would never consider writing a story like this. No, to get this fucked up, you need real people.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to take a long walk to get my head straight. God, what a world we live in, you know?