C. Madan's Blog, page 2

How Fast The World Falls Apart

Der Schöne Brunnen in Nuremberg by Cornelis Springer

All it takes is a moment, a single moment of shift in fate, a slight change in paradigm and all that you thought you were familiar with, all those you felt comfortable around, and all those who loved you and whom you loved, will fade away, will be alien, and strange. Your own soul starts to feel unfamiliar and unaccustomed to in your body.

In life, if there is one thing we can say for certain, it is that our lives are unpredictable. One cannot know what happens the next moment. How life will turn out to be in a year, and if we will still be alive a few years from now, or till the next sunrise.

This article is a tribute to all those moments which shatter our illusions of joy and peace, and drag us down the path of eternal misery, hopelessness and sorrows.

How do we know that a ‘moment’ falls under this category?

Let it be a death of someone dear to you, or a betrayal, an accident, something abrupt and sudden, and it will forever change the way you see the world, understand your existence and live your life.

If you get mugged, you know which place you avoid and how to predict the next it happens, you learn to be precautions. If someone betrays your trust, you will forever think twice before trusting someone and sometimes, you don’t trust anyone at all.

There is a beautiful line in the movie ‘Loving Vincent’ —

From ‘Loving Vincent’ Dir. Dorota Kobiela & Hugh Welchman

This instantly became one of my favorite quotations of all time, and of course this reflects the absurd reality of life, the true realization that despite however strong you are, there will come a moment in your life which will break you, bring you down and shatter your expectations.

There are those who live without bothering themselves about those moments of life and there are those who spend their whole lives living in fear of those moments which will cause them pain and suffering. And those who fearlessly face life are the ones who live completely.

Death is inevitable, death is the destination where we are all headed despite where we live or how we thrive. And if there’s one more aspect of life that is as inevitable as death, it is pain and suffering.

Like it is shown in the movies, that life altering moment doesn’t happen with a dramatic act by the forces of nature, or by loud and intense music playing in the background, it is more like the way Tarantino portrays it, the tragedy will knock at your door as slyly, as silently and as causally as possible. And its aftermath might not kick it as soon as it occurs, it might take time. But nonetheless, it will change ones perspective of life, it might make one feel grateful to be alive, and make the other question his purpose in life.

It might happen soon for some and later for others.

But its occurrence is inevitable.

~ C. Madan

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A Caged Bird’s Longing

Gilded Cage Print — Sara Riches (Saatchi Art)

“The best way to keep a prisoner from escaping is to make sure he never knows he’s in prison.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

If we look at it in a certain way, we are all prisoners, we are all imprisoned from birth. We are imprisoned by responsibilities, expectations, attachments, and societal confines. Life and living itself is a way of being imprisoned. That’s why there’s a great belief in people that one attains true peace only after death. But there is a certain beauty in being imprisoned.

The reason most us don’t realize we are being confined is because it feels natural to be confined, after generations of evolution we have reached where we are now, an era where everything is available yet no one is knowledgeable, from learning to survive, we evolved to doing things which will gain us a temporary rush of adrenaline. From hunting for food and fighting for survival to being offended by trivial matters, we have grown, or have we? Evolving is good, but not at the cost of losing our basic human instincts of survival.

There is a certain freedom in being confined, in being caged from our actual freedom. The first upside is safety, we are safe to an extent in our confines, second is the feeling of belonging, when we are confined into a community, we do have the feeling of belonging, which makes life easier. There might be more, but the real beauty of life is not in remaining safe in the confines or staying where you feel like you belong. It is in exploring the unexplored aspects.

“The ship is safest when it’s in port, but that’s not what ships were built for.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Pilgrimage

To be a prisoner doesn’t mean one has to be arrested, well that’s a different aspect of life altogether. The real prisoners one should pity are those who do not know they are imprisoned, and the warden of their prison is their own consciousness.

A caged bird that doesn’t fly away when the gates are opened is not just caged physically, it is being caged mentally as well. It does not know the beauty of flying, it is confined by the comfort of having food brought to it, and by the satisfaction it gives to its humans by singing.

Well, who in their right mind would fly away and struggle for food and water every hour? Who in their right mind would commit such a sordid act?

The moment this question arrives is when the bird loses its basic insticnt and quality of being a bird. And you, dear reader know that I am not just talking about birds and cages here.

A caged bird that has tasted the sweetness of freedom and flying will never be comfortable with its confinement, it waits for the right moment to escape and flies away at the first chance it gets to escape. We are confined too, the question is, are we ready to fly? Are we willing to fly? And do what makes us feel free?

This is not just a question of spirituality or morality, and the answer will never be a simple yes and no.

~ C. Madan

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Why I Write? — ‘The Question’

Why I Write? — ‘The Question’Jean-Louis-Ernest Meissonier — Young Man Writing

At some point in our lives, we wonder why we are doing what we are doing. Why we are spending our time, energy, intellect, and most of all a lifetime pursuing something that might or might not have a significance in the real world.

To me it has to do with writing, if there’s one thing that I do other than reading, it is writing. Not just here, and not just random blog articles, I write, and I write in order to keep myself alive as much as to keep the spark of hope alight. I write poems, stories, and of course novels. At this point of my life, the only works of mine that is available to the world is my poetry. And I promise there’s a lot more coming.

Why I Write? is the kind of question that is explored and answered by many authors across generations, this very title is in a way inspired from George Orwell’s essay in which he explores what the reasons might be for someone to pursue writing. But here, my take on this question is going to be different, purely personal, and in a way — introspective. I am answering this question for myself as much as I am trying to make a statement for the future readers of my works.

And I expect to answer the same question once again sometime in the future when, if at all by some absurd chance, the world recognizes my writings and calls them worthy. That post will be titled — “Why I Write — ‘The Answer’”.

So, why do I write?

I write to tell the tales that keep my heart captivated, to bring into life the world that is concealed within me, and to show the unseen aspects of life. It is my philosophy that the beauty of true art is hidden within the unexplored aspects of life which are often ignored or walked past by the extremely ‘busy’ world that is too conformed by modernity to live a complete life.

I write because writing keeps me alive, gives me hope and makes me realize that there is something beyond normality in my life. The complexity of life can be made simple and the simplicity of living can be made complex, that’s what makes the art of writing different and unique.

I write so that I don’t tire myself from this life, I write in order to keep myself entertained and to entertain those who are willing to read my works. What better bliss can there be than living a life that serves my fellow readers!

I write to satisfy myself, to not keep my ideas and ideologies caged within the confines of my mind and heart.

During one of the summers in my life, as I was travelling from some place to another I came across an old homeless man sleeping in the corridor of a closed shop. His feet were cracked and covered with blisters. His hair and beard was overgrown and dusty. The rising and falling of his rid cage can be clearly seen as his malnourished and starved body could not hide his bones under the bulk of skin.

Despite all this, for some odd reason and to add some oddity to the scene he was wearing a silver watch, I couldn’t see much of it, but the metal strap was shining and the glass was broken. Was it working? I couldn’t make sure. But the simplicity of that scene wasn’t just left at that. For hours I kept thinking about the absurdity of human existence, the old man’s existence and the watch which played an out of place role in this complete scenario.

A few months later, I saw another man, quite young but deformed to an inhumane level, with fingers and wrists twisted and curved, one couldn’t help but feel either sorry or disgusted by such an existence. But to add to the absurdity of his obscure beauty, he was wearing over 9 different watches and quite a few rings. When I first saw him for the last time, he was carrying two heavy bags, all dirty on the outside, his clothes were tattered and his soul seemed fed up and tried, but his face and eyes said something else, what was that thing?

I write in an attempt to capture both the beauty and terror of life and the world itself. But what I aspire to write is something that is too far away from my reach as of now, and that gives me a reason to keep trying.

Yet, when I do get the chance to show the world my writings, to project my ideas through words to crowds of readers across the globe, perhaps then, my heart will know that it has told its story, has expressed its emotions, and is being immortalized for generations to come.

But will I ever master the art? Will there ever be a soul that will appreciate my writings? Can I make the difference I hope to make in the lives of those who read my works? I shall leave these questions in the hands of time, for time will answer all the questions, and those it doesn’t answer will eventually fade into oblivion.

~ C. Madan

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Life is Beautiful To Those Who Live It Completely

A Stream and a Deer - Peder Mørk Mønsted

There is beauty all around us, in our obvious surroundings, in the small things we take for granted, and in all those minute moments that make us have a shift in our emotional stability. There is beauty and its presence is inevitable. There is beauty in having company, and there is beauty in being alone. There is beauty in falling in love, and obviously there is beauty in having your heart broken. To quote Arundhati Roy from one of her interviews —

“To get your heart broken again and again… But who wants an unbroken heart?You know, I don’t.”
 — Arundhati Roy

There is beauty.

And that gives rise to our question today — How to recognize the beauty of life?

It is indeed true that there is no beauty in wars, tragedies, pandemics, but in the end, even in the harshest of moments in life, we can find the beauty. It might not be a complete beauty of life, but a small spark that gives and will give us the hope to stay alive, to move ahead.

Amid the trauma of war, you might find the beauty of having a caring hand. In the tragic moment of quarantine, you might find the beauty in staying indoors with just yourself or your family. And in every instant, there is a spark present right around the corner which gives us hope.

And it is indeed true that life is truly beautiful to those who live it completely, to those who face their fears and to those who don’t have any fear. To those who know what to fight for and to those who know whom to live for. Even if there’s no one to live for, one will always have themselves, what a bliss it will be to have the chance to live for oneself!

The art of finding beauty in every aspect of life does not just come with a right mindset or a positive perspective, though these qualities do help a lot in one’s ability to find the beauty, what one needs is a keen eye that keeps searching for the beauty hidden in every aspect (Is ‘hidden’ the right word? Let’s call it ‘Camouflaged’). What one needs is the ability to find the camouflaged beauty which is almost always right in front of us, and at times, it takes more than just the capability, it takes ones capacity to fight for finding that beauty in life. And to those who are willing to fight — Life is Beautiful.

“Beauty will save the world.”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot

~ C. Madan

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The Act of Falling into the Oceans of Pages...

It is indeed true that a right book will keep you absorbed in its world as you read along, but how often do we find that so called ‘right book for you’. Is there really something called the ‘right book’? What makes a book the ‘right one’?

What is it that the mere printed words do to its reader, that it makes them forget past, present and all their worries of the future when they are in that trance that comes along with their reading?...https://open.substack.com/pub/cmadan/...

The Act of Falling into the Oceans of Pages...

It is indeed true that a right book will keep you absorbed in its world as you read along, but how often do we find that so called ‘right book for you’. Is there really something called the ‘right book’? What makes a book the ‘right one’?

What is it that the mere printed words do to its reader, that it makes them forget past, present and all their worries of the future when they are in that trance that comes along with their reading?...https://open.substack.com/pub/cmadan/...

Reflections Under the Street Lamp...

Movies like Cast Away and books like Life of Pi taught us the importance of having company when we are stranded alone. But is it an actual human necessity to survive in groups? Why are we social animals? How long can we live with just ourselves? What is the need for others to intrude into our lives, and why is it that company makes us better? Is our own company not sufficient to survive?...https://open.substack.com/pub/cmadan/...

The Art of Blissful Ignorance...

Amid the fast pace of this unjust life with unexpectedly disappointing realities, one’s search for peace and tranquility is never-ending, some find it in spirituality, some find it in solitude and silence and some find it in the comfort of books and the stories concealed within them...
https://open.substack.com/pub/cmadan/...C. Madan

The Spaces Between Pages

Few weeks ago, as I was browsing through the shelves in a local bookstores, I came across a picture of a couple, two people, a man and a woman, standing beside each other, smiling at the camera. At first, it was one of my many bookstores finds that I secretly treasure and archive, so I ignored it, but as I was going through my finds recently, I had to rethink the integrity of my assumption. To assume a man and a woman standing next to each other, to be a couple, in a romantic relationship seemed preposterous, but it was my first assumption nonetheless... https://open.substack.com/pub/cmadan/...

The Archive of Memories

Why do we read? Why do we write? What’s there in a written words that’s different from what’s there in a spoken or heard words. What’s there in ‘pages’ that cannot be found in ‘people’? Is it patience?

This here is an exploration of my relationship with the papers that endlessly listen to me.

“The winter had passed, the spring blossoms were making the usually grim looking trees seem cheerful, you are sitting under one of those trees looking at the world around you, there are children playing in one corner, there is an old couple sitting a few paces across you, looking at them makes you wonder if your life will ever be like theirs. The old couple are smiling and they seem to be at peace with life, the little children are joyous... https://open.substack.com/pub/cmadan/...