Lonnie Pacelli's Blog, page 71

Bedside Manner and the PM

So we've all been to the doctor.  We know the feeling of getting marched into a sterile examination room, given a gown that only covers the front half of your body, asked to step on a scale, prodded with a thermometer, asked to pee in a cup.  Then there's what seems like an eternity of sitting on an examination table with your hind quarters hanging out waiting for the doctor to come in the room.  Then after what seems like an eternity the door bursts open and the doctor pronounces, "Hello, I'm Dr. Goofleblat..."
For me the experience from that point forward goes either one of two ways.   Dr. Goofleblat either wigs me out with an impatient, impersonal and indifferent attitude or Dr. Goofleblat treats me with an empathetic, caring attitude.  Doctors who possess the empathic and caring attitudes are typically known to possess good bedside manner.  Those who are impatient, impersonal and indifferent not only have poor bedside manner but also are viewed as pompous jerks.
Amazon.com WidgetsI don't know about you, but I much prefer the doc with the great bedside manner.  My current doctor embodies great bedside manner attributes; she's attentive, caring, interested in what I have to say, and very kind in her words.  Because of her outstanding bedside manner, I am much more at ease with her and am much more willing to talk with her about my health and what is going on with me.  It's a great relationship and one that keeps me coming back to her.

The term bedside manner, though, isn't just reserved for doctors.  I feel very strongly that the best PM's also demonstrate great bedside manner attributes particularly when dealing with business partners.   A PM who comes across as cold, indifferent, and unapproachable to a business partner is far less likely to build and cultivate a positive working relationship than the PM who treats his/her business partner with empathy, interest, and respect.  I've seen far too many PM's not take bedside manner into account when dealing with business partners.  The end result in every one of those situations was that the job was much harder and more stressful for both the PM and the business partner and the results achieved weren't nearly as good as those where the PM had good bedside manner.

My one nugget to you is this:  Think about whether or not you have good bedside manner with your business partner.  Is your relationship one where you show empathy and caring for the business partner and his/her business?  If not then take some time to think about how you can improve how you work with your business partner.  Don't be the impatient, impersonal, and indifferent PM that your business partner dreads dealing with.

Our Fallibility as Leaders

Some time back I was reminded about a crucial attribute that all seasoned leaders possess.  What surprised me was that it didn't come from what I do in my work life, it came from an interaction I had with my then 15-year-old son. 

Sparing you some of the gory details, we had a situation where my son and I had to have some "man talk" where I expressed some displeasure with his behavior.  It wasn't pretty and was very uncomfortable for him and not at all pleasant for me.  Given that I took some huge withdrawals from the emotional bank account with him I recognized that I needed to have a more grounded follow-up discussion with him the next day.  
After he came home from school the next day he and I had a good little chat about how to avoid interactions like we had the night before.  I also told him that when I was his age I was four times as mischievous as he was and that he is a better kid than I ever was.  It is a huge morale boost for him to hear that his Dad has screwed up in the past.  It helps him to see that I am human, I have my faults, and that he easily can live up to my standards as set by example.  I've told him things I haven't spoken of in years.  It was great for both of us.

This interaction reminds me of our role as leaders.  The best, most seasoned leaders I know aren't afraid to share their warts and show themselves as leaders who have learned not only from their successes but also their failures.
Those leaders who demonstrate that they are fallible and can courageously share when they've bungled it are the leaders that garner the greatest respect from their teams.  Those who are afraid to bare their souls and tell of their screw-ups don't demonstrate courage, which is vital to any leader's credibility. 

Use your successes and failures to help your teams learn from you and to model courage.  Your teams will respect you immensely and be much more likely to follow your lead.

Stresspensation: Evaluating the Impact of Stress in Career Decision Making

Brad was an incredibly bright young executive with a very promising future.  Ever since graduating college, he seemed to take on increased responsibilities in his company like a duck to water.  He married his college sweetheart, Nancy, right after graduation and has two small children.   Brad's talent didn't go unnoticed in the industry, with several competitors approaching Brad about his willingness to join another firm.  He steadfastly resisted, that is until the offer of all offers came his way.

Cantata Group, a larger and more prominent competitor to his current company, wined and dined Brad and ultimately offered him a VP position with a higher salary and better benefits.  The offer was too good to pass up so Brad talked with Nancy about the job and they both became enamored with how this was going to advance Brad's career and what they would be able to do with the extra money.  Brad joyfully accepted Cantata's offer, gave his current company two weeks' notice, and started in his new VP role.  

Within a year of joining Cantata, he noticed some unexpected side effects of his new position.  He was required to be in weekly global executive virtual meetings which could happen at any time of the day or night.  He was routinely working 60+ hours a week, missing dinner with Nancy and the kids.  He traveled at least once a week, many times to put out fires at clients. His eating habits were horrendous and he wasn't exercising due to his schedule.  He began putting on weight.  Nancy was frustrated with him not being around and his kids missed their daddy.  The stress was unbearable and led to Brad one day grabbing his chest and collapsing during a customer meeting.
While the above story about Brad is fictional, each one of us knows of a Brad (or perhaps is Brad) who made a career choice without considering the effects of the extra stress.  The American Institute of Stress (yes there is such an organization) has quantified the cost of stress to employers at $300 billion annually due to things such as absenteeism, accidents, turnover, diminished productivity, and medical costs.  Add to that the personal costs of stress (i.e., poor health, weight gain/loss, sleep deprivation) and the relationship costs of stress (i.e., fractured relationships, friends or loved ones alienation, missed school plays), and you have a perfect storm of negative factors which make any kind of work-life balance virtually impossible to attain.  In my 30 years of working with career professionals, stress typically takes a back seat to compensation and when considered, it is usually only a slice of the true stress level that the professional will endure.  In the first ten years of my own career I saw stress as a given and gave it no consideration when evaluating career alternatives.  This was a big mistake and a lesson I learned the hard way.  Fortunately I learned it early in my career and was able to make some positive changes. However, some professionals never get it. To help the professional evaluate the impact of stress when deciding on a career change, I've defined a comparative increase/decrease method to evaluate the impact of stress, based on three stress types:

(a) Relationship Stress
(b) Work Stress
(c) Personal Stress

For each stress type, a qualitative degree of stress is defined as follows:

1 - Mimimal Stress
2 - Moderate Stress
3 - Significant Stress

In evaluating the impact of stress, each of the three stress types is assigned a value for the current and new job alternatives, then a comparative increase/decrease assessment is derived for each stress type.  Let's put this to an example.

Lets say that a systems analyst (I'll call her Ann) is currently in a job paying $90,000/year and she's been offered a new position paying $100,000/year.  On the surface, Ann likes the idea of a $10k raise and looks at the three stress types for each job, as follows:

Current Position
Relationship stress = 2 due to infrequent evening meetings only.
Personal stress = 1 due to ability to keep up with personal interests without sacrifice
Work stress = 2 due to some tight deadlines.


New Position
Relationship stress = 3 due to evening meetings and four international trips/year to work with offshore developers Personal stress = 2 due to having to alter exercise schedule, and having to drop book club Work stress = 3 due to mission critical deadlines and regular status updates to senior management.

When you look at the three stress types the following pops out about the new position:
Ann is now faced with the following decision:  Is the salary bump of $10k worth the incremental relationship, personal and work stress she'll endure?  Depending on whatever other decision criteria Ann factors into her decision, the answer could be yes or no.  Whether or not she takes the job is still her decision; what the process has done is forced her to consider the three stress types and derive data points in which she can use in her overall decision-making.
There are a number of important considerations for you to digest in using this methodology.  First, this is not an autonomic decision-making tool where the numeric answer is the sole job determinant.  The impact of stress methodology is meant to bring relationship, personal, and work stress factors to the forefront of your decision making process.  Second, you need to be realistic about stress levels.  "Wishing down" a stress level doesn't make it go away; it just sets you up for a letdown (or worse) after you've made your decision.  Third, you need to let your friends and loved ones come up with the relationship stress value and not assume a value for them.  The real benefit in the methodology is the thought process and discussions you have along the way.  Don't shortcut how your stress type values are determined or you'll miss out on some valuable nuggets.  Fourth, the methodology applies to any type of career change which involves new or different responsibilities, including promotions.  Most of us are wired to blindly accept promotions without regard for the additional stress which may accompany the promotion.  Fifth, there will likely be stress in any job change; make sure you look at your steady-state stress level versus the "learning curve" stress level.

"Relationship, personal and work stress must be actively and realistically discussed and considered during the career choice decision making process."

Amazon.com Widgets Your Go-Dos
When faced with your next career decision, follow these five steps to assess your impact of stress and help you decide on your career choice course of action:
Ask a lot of questions about the job and the degree of relationship, personal and work stress entailed in the job.  Seek out others who may have done the job before or others who have some inside perspective. Look at the job responsibilities (both stated and those you derive through interviews) and determine how much stress each of the responsibilities will create for you. Decide on a 1-3 work stress value.
Write down the personal activities and goals you have (i.e. exercise 4x/week, sleep at least 7 hours a night) and determine how the career choice would impact each of the activities and goals.  Decide on a 1-3 personal stress value.
Openly discuss with your friends and loved ones what the career choice would mean in terms of impact to relationship time (i.e. not being home for dinner, availability to help with homework) and ask them to decide on a 1-3 relationship stress value.
Derive the increase/decrease in stress for each of the three stress types. 
Decide how you're going to factor the impact of stress into your overall decision.
Remember, the real benefit in utilizing the impact of stress methodology is in the discovery process you'll go through to understand relationship, personal, and work stress drivers for different career choices.  Be real with yourself as to how a career choice will affect you and those you love. 

Lonnie Pacelli has 30 years of experience helping leaders and project managers help themselves to be more effective.  See more at LonniePacelli.com

Sometimes it’s best not to offer your feedback

Despite my very best intentions, there are some people I have encountered throughout my life who simply are not interested in and do not want my feedback.   I would spend a lot of time writing behaviors down, focusing on how I thought others perceived their behavior, and desired changes to behavior.  I would focus on facts and keep things as unemotional as possible during the feedback session.  Even with doing all the right things, my feedback sessions would go bust. 

In looking at what went wrong in my failed feedback sessions, I was able to bring it down to several key factors, as follows:
* My relationship with the recipient wasn’t trusting to a point where I could provide feedback safely.
* My perspective on the situation was wrong and I provided feedback inappropriately.
* I hadn’t learned how to give good, constructive, empathetic feedback. 

When I was a young manager, I had a very experienced administrative assistant who worked with me.  She was very competent in her job and did everything I needed very well.  One thing that bothered me, though, was her workstation.  She had stacks of paper all around her workstation.  I, in my own naiveté, couldn’t understand how she could get things done with all that clutter so I offered her some feedback to clean up her workstation so she could be more effective.  Bad move on my part.  She got pretty ticked with me and asked me whether her workstation was affecting her ability to do her job.  She was dead right and it took me a long time to re-build my relationship with her.   My feedback was not steeped in fact, it was based on my perception of what I thought was right.  Painful lesson.
Amazon.com Widgets Before you offer up your feedback, think about some of the following things first and then decide: 

You already have a strained relationship with the recipient – As desperately as you may be to provide feedback to a recipient, you may not have a trusting relationship built with the recipient to provide effective feedback.   If you don’t have that trusting relationship, clam up on the feedback.  If you’re not sure, ask a colleague who knows both you and the recipient and get his or her opinion.  

You’re unsure of the facts – You may feel compelled to offer feedback, but if facts are sketchy do your homework first.   You may find the feedback is legitimate, but you may also find the feedback isn’t warranted because the facts don’t support the need for feedback.  Get clear on the facts before you formulate your feedback. 

You’re not in an authoritative position to offer the feedback – A number of years back I offered some feedback to a colleague on his attitude in team meetings.  He in no uncertain terms told me to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine and that because I was just a peer he wasn’t willing to listen to the feedback.   My error in the situation was that I offered feedback to a colleague who didn’t see it as my place to offer the feedback because I wasn’t in an authoritative position and didn’t have a good enough relationship to offer peer feedback. 

You’ve received feedback that you don’t give good feedback – You may feel compelled to offer feedback, but if you’ve received feedback that you aren’t effective at offering constructive feedback, resist the urge.  Work on your own ability to give feedback with a colleague or friend first in “practice sessions” using some of the techniques I’ve highlighted in this book. 

Sometimes the best feedback you can provide is no feedback at all.  If your feedback will only be putting fuel on the fire because of strained relationships, unclear facts, or your own ability to deliver effective feedback, hold your tongue and let someone else do it.  You’ll save yourself and your recipient a lot of stress and will keep from further deteriorating a relationship. 

Let Decided Decisions Stay Decided

Jane was a group manager over a team of six buyers for a large department store chain.  Her team specialized in buying house-wares, including linens, sheets, towels and small appliances.  Her team met every week to discuss advertised specials for upcoming weeks and any supplier issues that the team needed to be aware of.  There was one linens supplier, Patty’s Linens, that has had some difficulty with product quality and the department store was experiencing higher-than-normal returns on the product.  Two weeks earlier, the supplier submitted a plan for how they were going to improve the quality of their product.  The department store decided to keep the supplier on for three more months to evaluate their plan and give the supplier an opportunity to resolve the quality issues.  With this as backdrop, we eavesdrop on Jane’s current team meeting:

Jane:  Ok, for the next agenda item, Patty’s Linens submitted their improvement plan two weeks ago and they appear to be performing to plan.

Kasie:  I thought we decided to terminate Patty’s Linens in favor of Briana’s Softgoods?

Jane:  No, we decided to keep them on for three more months to give them time to rectify their problems.

Jeffy:  I think we should cut them loose and give Briana’s Softgoods a try.

Kelly:  I just had lunch with a sales rep from Trevor’s Towels.  How about we try them instead?

Jane:  Guys, we already made this decision and communicated to Patty’s Linens that we were going to keep them on while they worked out their problems.

Bobby:  Well, I know that I agreed at the time, but now I’m not so sure. 

Jane:  (muttering under her breath) only 3,642 days until retirement….

Decision making is one of the most crucial activities that managers perform in their jobs.  Their decisions impact company profitability, the lives of their employees, and the viability of the product or service they offer.  Making good, thoughtful decisions is a difficult but necessary part of the job.   Decision making during meetings is exponentially more complex because you are building consensus as part of the decision making process.  Those that can facilitate team decision making effectively are diamonds in the rough in any company. 

Where team decision making runs amok is when decisions don’t stick and they continue to get raised and questioned after a decision has already been made.  Now, I’m not advocating a “stick your head in the sand” approach once a decision is made, but you need to give your decision some time to determine if it was the right decision.  Continual about-faces will cause you to just mark time in your business instead of moving forward.  More importantly, though, is the impact on your credibility.  Each time you un-decide a previously made decision,   you create doubt in the minds of those you are leading because they will follow you in a zig-zag pattern as opposed to a straight line and see you as wasting time.  Chronic indecision-making will ultimately cause the team to not follow you at all until they are sure you are not going to change your mind again. 

I’ve used several techniques to help make sure decisions stick, as follows:

Keep a decision log - When developing a decision log, keep track of the following pieces of information: what needs to be decided, when it needs to be decided by, what the decision alternatives are, who owns driving the decision, what the actual decision is, when it was actually decided, and when the decision will be reviewed to ensure the decision made was the best decision.  Now, this may sound like a lot of administrivia, but recording each decision is important in ensuring that decisions don’t get dropped and that the team is reminded of what was actually decided.  The little bit of time you spend documenting the decision will pale in comparison to the wasted time and effort of re-discussing decisions already made. 

Allow for vetting of alternatives - The primary purpose of driving decisions in meetings is to make sure that the appropriate stakeholders have a chance to provide their input and perspective on the alternatives prior to a decision being made.  The meeting owner needs to have the patience and discipline to allow for the meeting attendees to vet each alternative, hear opposing viewpoints, and come to some kind of consensus on the decision.  This requires someone who is very in-tune to what is happening in the meeting, can keep things moving, and can “close the deal” to get the group to agree to a decision.  I’ve never been able to come up with a magic formula for how long this can take; but someone clearly needs to facilitate the discussion and move the meeting attendees to decision. 

Set a “let’s evaluate the decision” milestone date - Once the decision is made, it’s a good idea to set some date in the future at which the group evaluates the decision and assesses whether the decision made was the right decision.  Doing this is important for two reasons: it provides a checkpoint to make sure that the decision made was a good decision, and also sets an expectation with the group that the decision will be evaluated at a future date and to not open the can of worms again until that point.  


Make decisions as a team, log your decisions, vet the alternatives, and evaluate the decision to make sure it was the right decision.  Do this and you’ll better ensure that the best decisions are made once and not replayed like a bad sitcom. 

Building a Purpose-Driven Resume

I recently had the pleasure of interacting with a group of young professionals on how to strategically think about their resume.  Too often in career planning the resume building process is treated as a "how-good-can-I-make-my-word-document-look" and is driven more by what gets bolded and italicized versus what experience and qualifications will wow a prospective employer.  This is similar to getting in your car in Los Angeles heading "East" hoping you end up in New York.   Just because you're going in the right general direction doesn't mean you'll land at the right destination.  Way too much left up to chance. 

The interaction that I had with this group was terrific and we had a lot of "a-ha's" during our time together.  I thought that I would give the presentation I used a bit of double duty and make it available to you as well with my compliments.  At the end of the presentation there is an exercise which is geared to help you think more strategically about your resume and put an action plan together to plug the holes in your resume. 

Ten Differences Between an Insecure Leader and a Secure Leader

Some time back I was talking with a fellow project manager about a difficult issue he was having with his new boss.  The thumbnail summary of the discussion was that the project manager was feeling overly scrutinized and micro-managed.  Now I knew the project manager to be a capable professional who could confidently handle the work assigned to him.  Yet his boss insisted on managing every detailed aspect of his work.  More so, his boss was very critical of the work being done even though it was performed to professionally acceptable standard.  The situation became unbearable for the project manager; he ultimately left the organization. 
As I thought about this situation, I noticed an interesting parallel to other leadership situations I have seen and been part of.  Both the project manager and his boss had similar backgrounds and similar years of experience.  Although the boss had been a manager for years, he tended to surround himself with younger, more inexperienced managers. Having a more senior and experienced project manager reporting to him was clearly something that took him out of his comfort zone.  Rather than embracing the experience, the boss felt threatened by the project manager and worked to "keep him in his place".  
Amazon.com Widgets As I added things up in my mind about the situation one thing came clear; the boss' own insecurity was a key problem driver and was hampering the group's potential. 

This situation caused me to start thinking more about the attributes of secure and insecure leaders.  After noodling through I settled on ten key differences between an insecure and a secure leader. Give these a look and see if any resonate with you: Insecure leaders selectively divulge and withhold information.  Secure leaders freely share information. Insecure leaders teach employees what they need to know.  Secure  leaders nurture employees to help them figure out what they need to know.  Insecure leaders discourage risk taking.  Secure leaders encourage calculated risk taking. Insecure leaders give instructions and expect them to be followed.  Secure leaders give guidance and expect results. Insecure leaders demand respect.  Secure leaders earn respect. Insecure leaders may acknowledge great performance but ensure they also get credit.  Secure leaders spotlight great performance and don't worry about getting credit. Insecure leaders hire and promote others who think like they do.  Secure leaders hire and promote others who think differently than they do. Insecure leaders deflect failure.  Secure leaders accept responsibility for failure. Insecure leaders promote those they can control.  Secure leaders promote those they don't have to control. Insecure leaders grow good doers.  Secure leaders grow great leaders.
The one nugget here is this: honestly think through whether or not you are an insecure leader or a secure leader.  If you fall on the insecure end of the spectrum, do some deep soul-searching as to what is causing you to feel insecure about your leadership abilities.  Find a trusted mentor or colleague to help you dig into things and to shore up the areas which you need to address.  Recognition and acknowledgement of your improvement areas is the most important step to growth.  Don't kid yourself into thinking you're something that you're not.  

I'd love to hear your opinions on the  list.  Tell me what you think at contact-lonnie@leadingonedge.com.

Read Part 2 - How to Succeed Under an Insecure Leader.

How to Succeed Under an Insecure Leader

In Part 1: Ten Differences Between a Secure and an Insecure Leader,  I contrasted ten key attributes that distinguish a secure leader from one who is insecure in his or her abilities.  Part 2 is dedicated to giving you eight nuggets to help you succeed under an insecure leader. 

For years I was an insecure leader.  My greatest fear in leading others was that I would be "found out" and that everyone would see me not as a strong, competent leader but as a bumbling fool.  Through the years I've learned that the quest for infallibility is impossible to reach and that making mistakes is part of the growth process.  I'm less insecure today because I am more comfortable saying "I don't know" without everyone in the room thinking I'm an incompetent twit.  Having said that, I am secure in knowing I will continue to screw up until my Maker calls me home.
For an insecure leader, it all comes down to trust.  Insecure leaders are by default distrustful of others and will only let those into their inner circle after trust has been earned.  You could be the best performer in the leader's organization but if he or she doesn't trust you then you're always going to be operating on the fringes with the leader and will likely have a stressful relationship.  Unfortunate, yes; but that's the fact Jack. You need to accept and embrace it.

So okay, you've accepted and embraced the fact you work with an insecure leader.  What next?  Here are eight specific things to consider in better securing a good working relationship with the leader:
Amazon.com Widgets Respect the leader's position - Regardless how smart or competent you feel your leader is, the first step to a healthy relationship with an insecure leader is respecting his or her position as leader.  To an insecure leader, disrespect for the position is no different than disrespect for the leader.

Don't overdraw in the feedback bank account - Insecure leaders need to hear that they are doing some things right.  When presenting feedback to the leader, start things off with something positive before raising constructive feedback.  The spoonful of sugar will truly help the medicine go down better for the leader.

Don't dump problems - If you have a difficult issue you need help with don't dump it on the leader's doorstep.  Clearly articulate the issue and present some alternatives to how you and the leader can resolve the problem together.  Dumping the problem can put insecure leaders on edge because they may now feel as if they are being tested.

Criticize in private - Publicly criticizing or embarrassing an insecure leader puts the leader in a "fight or flight" situation and can severely damage your relationship with the leader.  Save the negative feedback for a private session.

Don't suck up - A savvy leader will see sucking up as insincere.  In addition, other team members will resent you if you are viewed as a brown-noser in it for personal gain. 

Allow the leader to teach - Being insecure doesn't necessarily mean the leader is incompetent.  Find something you can learn from the leader and become a student of the leader's viewpoint.  Being less than open to learning something from the leader may suggest a problem with your attitude versus purely a problem with the leader.

Understand the leader's communication style - Some leaders truly are "open door" while others prefer scheduled appointments.  Some prefer verbal discussion while others like written emails.  Understand how the leader likes to communicate and stick to his or her style.  Also beware of the leader who says the politically-correct "my door is always open" but seems annoyed if someone barges in.  Keep your ear to the railroad track and understand how the leader truly likes to communicate. 

Don't compromise your principles and values - learning how to work with an insecure leader doesn't mean blindly following whatever the leader asks you to do.  If an insecure leader asks you to do something against your principles be very clear in articulating your objection and why you are objecting. 

My one nugget to you is this: recognize you work for an insecure leader, embrace it, and decide you're going to make the best of the situation.  It will not only yield a better working relationship with your leader, it will also reduce your stress level. 

Diffusing Conflict Between Co-Workers

So everything isn't always peachy keen when it comes to working together.  At times co-workers are going to get in each others'  face and have some conflict.  As a bystander, there's some things you can do and  not do  to help put out the co-worker fire: Let them know how their conflict is affecting the rest of the team - Many times team members in conflict are only concerned about their own situation and don't see how the conflict impacts others. Truth is, when doing a team meeting with two ice-cold colleagues in the room with the pressure so thick it can be cut with a knife, the entire team is impacted. If the conflicting colleagues know the impact they are having on others they may be more likely to extend olive branches to each other. Don't play unsolicited referee - If two colleagues are having a hard time with each other, avoid injecting yourself into a referee position without being asked. One or both of the parties will likely not want your involvement and you'll likely make things worse. Do be available if asked for help - If your colleagues do ask for your help, then by all means do it. Make sure the environment is conducive to good discussion; go to a private conference room, make sure temperature is comfortable, don't do it during a time where deadlines are looming. Amazon.com Widgets Be impartial - Help keep things focused on facts and focused on specific behaviors, ie. Statements like "You're a slacker" focuses on the person and not on specific action. A better rephrase would be "When the rest of the team was working overtime on meeting this deliverable, you appeared to be not working as hard as the rest of the team."
Avoid the water cooler banter - If one of the conflictees corners you to complain about the other, avoid gossip and taking sides about the issue. Listening with an empathetic ear is great, but keep your counsel focused on the conflictees getting together to resolve the issue.

OMG another TLA!

Years back a required skill for secretaries (politically correct = administrative assistants) was shorthand.  There are a number of shorthand systems including Gregg Shorthand, Pitman Shorthand, and Handywrite Shorthand.  With the advent of technology, texting, and 140-character tweets the Mad Men-era shorthand has been replaced by a world of abbreviations and phonetic acronyms which describe the most popular thoughts, feelings, and reactions that we use in our daily speech.  Most acronyms are easily decipherable, some  take a bit of noodling to understand, while still others require a quick web search to translate. 
My quest to better understand today's shorthand led me to netlingo.com; a handy website chock full of business, marketing, software, and text messaging jargon.  I was amazed at how sheltered I've been when it comes to tech shorthand.  Sure most everyone knows the LOL's and OMG's, but there's a whole world of acronyms that I didn't even know existed.  What follows are some of the less popular but no less interesting acronyms that will dazzle your BFF's:

?^ - Hook Up

*$ - Starbucks
Amazon.com Widgets ,!!!! - Talk to the Hand

::poof:: - I'm Gone (or Goodbye)

@TEOTD - At the End of the Day

AAK - Asleep at the Keyboard

AYV - Are You Vertical?

AIAMU - And I'm a Monkey's Uncle

BSF - But Seriously Folks

BI5 - Back in 5

BBIAB - Be Back in a Bit

CF - Coffee Freak

CMU - Crack Me Up

DBD - Don't be Dumb

dewd - Dude

EMFJI - Excuse Me for Jumping In

FE - Fatal Error

G1 - Good One

GAS - Got a Second?

HAND - Have a Nice Day

HBB - Hip Beyond Belief

IAE - In Any Event

IANAC - I am Not a Crook

IME - In My Experience

J/C - Just Checking

J5M - Just Five Minutes

KB - Kick Butt

KMP - Keep Me Posted

LDTTWA - Let's Do the Time Warp Again

LORE - Learn Once, Repeat Everywhere

Luser - Loser

M4C - Meet for Coffee