Lonnie Pacelli's Blog, page 17
June 2, 2023
Book Review: Positive Parenting for Autism
Summary:Positive Parenting for Autism provides an overview of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and how ABA can be effectively used to help a child overcome behavioral challenges.
Is it insightful? 5 Stars
Very good presentation of ABA concepts and techniques. It’s clear the author has mastery of subject matter.
Is it creative? 4 Stars
Good examples and case studies throughout the book which reinforce the concepts. Nothing exciting or unique about how concepts are presented. The ABA concepts, while helpful for parenting a child with autism, are not exclusive to autism; they are good overall parenting techniques.
Is the well written? 5 Stars
Read in about two hours. Author communicates clearly and concisely. Each chapter has takeaways at the end to reinforce key concepts. Good formatting for Kindle, though when hyperlinks are clicked within a paragraph there is no way to get back to where you were reading.
Is it a page turner? 3 Stars
Book covers a lot of turf; however the author’s writing voice is non-existent, which made the reading much less interesting. The author expresses no empathy, encouragement, or desire to connect with the reader, who is most likely dealing with a difficult parenting situation. This is underscored in a number of statements in last chapter telling the reader how much he/she has learned as result of reading the book. How does the author know what the reader learned?
Overall Rating: 4 Stars
Watch the Pontificator!
Excerpted from The Truth about Getting Your Point Across…and Nothing But the Truth
At the offices of one of my clients there was a fellow who I’ll call “Moe.” Moe was your typical pontificator. At any time we saw Moe he was standing outside of someone’s cubicle or sitting on someone’s office, coffee cup in hand, waxing poetic about the latest dumb decision management made, the idiots that run his division, or last night’s baseball game. Moe had an opinion on everything and was very free about letting you know every detail of his opinion.
There was no such thing as a five-minute conversation with Moe.
Unless you excused yourself for whatever reason you were there for at least fifteen minutes listening to his philosophy. The problem was that Moe was friends with the person managing our contract so we had to put up with him.
Moe was particularly problematic during meetings. He diverted agendas, disrupted meeting topics, and wasted tremendous amounts of time. Despite all this, Moe was a long-time company employee and understood his job well. But he was still a big pain in the hindquarters.
It’s likely that that you’ve worked with a person like Moe. You can do your best to avoid him, but there he is, ready to give you an earful about something. So how do you handle the Moes of the world during meetings? How do you keep things on track? How do you avoid frustrating everyone else in the meeting when the pontificator revs up his engine?
The first thing you can do about the pontificator at your meeting is to take a good hard look at whether the pontificator absolutely needs to be at the meeting. Will the pontificator contribute valuable content and perspective that will add value to the meeting? If not avoid having the pontificator at the meeting in the first place.
If the pontificator needs to be there, try to talk with him beforehand and solicit his help in keeping the meeting moving forward. Spend a few minutes reviewing the agenda and get him oriented to the meeting topic. If he has opinions or viewpoints that he wants to air, get him to do it with you beforehand and try to incorporate some of his viewpoint into the topic. If he sees that he has been heard and if some of his thinking is baked into your agenda, the pontificator is more likely to be a good soldier and not hijack your meeting.
If you’ve taken this step and the pontificator still feels the need to take control of your meeting, your next mission is to preserve the purpose of the meeting, keep things focused on the agenda, and avoid wasting any of the other attendee’s time. It is vitally important that you monitor what your pontificator is saying and keep them focused on the agenda item. If he continues to drift off topic onto his own agenda item ask to have the item taken offline. If it continues then it is completely within bounds to cut the person off and bring things back to your agenda. Whatever you do, don’t lose control of the agenda. Your credibility is at stake with other meeting attendees; losing control of the agenda means a loss of credibility, which you’ll now need to work to regain.
Pontificators don’t have to spell doom and gloom to your meetings. If you can ensure that they truly need to be involved in the meeting, get them on your side, and control them when they veer off path, you can still get things done when they are involved. Lonnie Pacelli
Keynote Speaker | Board Director | Autism Advocate | Author | Project Management Expert | Microsoft/Accenture Veteran
See his books on Amazon.
At the offices of one of my clients there was a fellow who I’ll call “Moe.” Moe was your typical pontificator. At any time we saw Moe he was standing outside of someone’s cubicle or sitting on someone’s office, coffee cup in hand, waxing poetic about the latest dumb decision management made, the idiots that run his division, or last night’s baseball game. Moe had an opinion on everything and was very free about letting you know every detail of his opinion.There was no such thing as a five-minute conversation with Moe.
Unless you excused yourself for whatever reason you were there for at least fifteen minutes listening to his philosophy. The problem was that Moe was friends with the person managing our contract so we had to put up with him.
Moe was particularly problematic during meetings. He diverted agendas, disrupted meeting topics, and wasted tremendous amounts of time. Despite all this, Moe was a long-time company employee and understood his job well. But he was still a big pain in the hindquarters.
It’s likely that that you’ve worked with a person like Moe. You can do your best to avoid him, but there he is, ready to give you an earful about something. So how do you handle the Moes of the world during meetings? How do you keep things on track? How do you avoid frustrating everyone else in the meeting when the pontificator revs up his engine?
The first thing you can do about the pontificator at your meeting is to take a good hard look at whether the pontificator absolutely needs to be at the meeting. Will the pontificator contribute valuable content and perspective that will add value to the meeting? If not avoid having the pontificator at the meeting in the first place.
If the pontificator needs to be there, try to talk with him beforehand and solicit his help in keeping the meeting moving forward. Spend a few minutes reviewing the agenda and get him oriented to the meeting topic. If he has opinions or viewpoints that he wants to air, get him to do it with you beforehand and try to incorporate some of his viewpoint into the topic. If he sees that he has been heard and if some of his thinking is baked into your agenda, the pontificator is more likely to be a good soldier and not hijack your meeting.
If you’ve taken this step and the pontificator still feels the need to take control of your meeting, your next mission is to preserve the purpose of the meeting, keep things focused on the agenda, and avoid wasting any of the other attendee’s time. It is vitally important that you monitor what your pontificator is saying and keep them focused on the agenda item. If he continues to drift off topic onto his own agenda item ask to have the item taken offline. If it continues then it is completely within bounds to cut the person off and bring things back to your agenda. Whatever you do, don’t lose control of the agenda. Your credibility is at stake with other meeting attendees; losing control of the agenda means a loss of credibility, which you’ll now need to work to regain.
Pontificators don’t have to spell doom and gloom to your meetings. If you can ensure that they truly need to be involved in the meeting, get them on your side, and control them when they veer off path, you can still get things done when they are involved. Lonnie Pacelli
Keynote Speaker | Board Director | Autism Advocate | Author | Project Management Expert | Microsoft/Accenture Veteran
See his books on Amazon.
May 25, 2023
Critical Thinking Isn’t Enough: 8 Ways to Be a Critical Persuader
Recently, my wife and I were on a social visit with a friend I’ll call Vick. We were enjoying beverages and light chatter when suddenly the topic changed to world events. It was like a light switch turned on, with Vick becoming very animated about the topic, spewing data point after data point, and aggressively quizzing me on whether I had heard about some of the points he was raising.When I replied “no,” his response was incredulous. “You mean you haven’t heard of _____?” he asked, as if I were the only person on Earth who didn’t know what he was talking about. This went on for about an hour before we resumed talking about lighter topics.
I thought about the interaction that evening, and the next day texted him a follow-up question. The onslaught resumed, and after a while I decided to disengage because I saw that no good would come of the exchange.
I later thought about both the face-to-face and the text interactions, and came up with some important elements that were there—and some that were missing:
Read more at ProjectManagement.com
May 19, 2023
Developing High Potential (HIPO) Leaders
As leaders we have a responsibility to ensure that our area is managed effectively and that we are driving the organization to achieve its stated objectives. We also have a responsibility to grow the next generation of leaders to ensure that the great work we've done continues on after we've moved on. Keep some of these nuggets in mind as you ponder making the next generation of leaders great: One of the best means of cultivating high-potential managers is one-on-one interaction and mentoring with a seasoned and respected senior executive. Having the one-on-one focus not only helps the high-potential manager get good quality mentoring and coaching, it also gives the senior executive better insight into the manager’s true potential.
The most effective training combines a blended learning environment of teaching/counseling coupled with on-the-job experience. If the learning environment is too clinical or theoretical then the high-potential manager is less likely to pull the applicability out of the experience. Give the theory but balance it with application.
Managers can be grown too quickly, and I’ve seen plenty of examples where young high-potential managers have been burned out because they have taken on too much too quickly. Assigning a mentor to a high-potential manager can help the manager grow at a reasonable pace and also help protect him or her from collisions around the bend.Lonnie Pacelli
Keynote Speaker | Board Director | Autism Advocate | Author | Project Management Expert | Microsoft/Accenture Veteran
See his books on Amazon.
May 12, 2023
Free 5/17-18: Six-Word Lessons on Growing Up Autistic (Spanish Translation)
Free 5/17-18: Six-Word Lessons on Growing Up Autistic (Spanish Translation)Get it at https://amzn.to/2OeyBN6
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Why ‘Be Accessible’ is a Better Leadership Style Than ‘Open Door’
Early in my career as a leader, I adopted the popular phrase, “My door is always open.” These magic words were intended to be a sign of support that, as a leader, I would be available for my team. It just felt so good to say that—to know that if a team member wanted to come in to talk about something important or just shoot the breeze, I would be there for them whenever they wanted.Then reality struck.
Read more at ProjectManagement.com
May 5, 2023
Need to Build Leadership Skills? Use These 8 Tips to Lead Volunteers!
While searching for a job online, Manesh found a listing that caught his eye. “Wow, this looks perfect!” he thought as he read through the position requirements. Then those three dreaded words reared their ugly head:“Leadership experience required.”
“Dang,” Manesh thought as he closed his laptop. “This is so frustrating. How do I get experience when everyone is expecting me to already have the experience?”
You’ve likely experienced this earlier in your career, or may be going through it now: Potential employers want leadership experience that you don’t have, and you don’t have a clear path on how to get that experience.
When looking to grow leadership skills, this can be a frustrating dilemma. How do you get the experience you need and build great leadership skills when your paths are limited? Here's a potential path...
Read more at ProjectManagement.com.
April 29, 2023
Is Your Date Do-Able? Try Rough-Cut Timeboxing: The Work-Back Model
As project managers, we’ve likely been faced with getting a one-line explanation of what a sponsor needs—along with a deadline. Depending on the organization, there could be a range of responses—from doing a back-of-the-envelope calculation, getting people in a room to estimate the work, or using a comparative initiative to assess feasibility.Now, I’m not here to criticize your organization’s approach, but I have found that having something that enables the PM to rough-cut an initiative using some standards can be helpful in providing a lens on whether a date is even remotely achievable. This is where the work-back timebox model comes in.
Read more at ProjectManagement.com.
April 21, 2023
What's Got Your Goat?
Some time back my son and I participated in a service project to help a young family clean out a back yard. At one time the yard was a wonderful oasis with a swimming pool, lush garden, and beautiful walkways. The once beautiful oasis was neglected over time and became an overgrown jungle of northwest foliage with its prime resident being thorny blackberry bushes. The blackberry bushes were six feet tall and covered most of the yard. What a prickly mess!Fortunate for my son and I the homeowner had already cleared out the blackberry bushes prior to us participating in the service project. I asked the homeowner if he hired some goats to do the job. For those of you who may not know, goats are voracious herbivores and can clear out even the toughest blackberry bushes. The homeowner replied that he didn't use goats but rather used pesticides and lots of manual labor to clear the yard of the blackberry bushes. The job got done, but it took the homeowner a lot of time and energy to clear the yard. This situation got me to thinking about the lesson that goats can teach us about leadership.When goats clear blackberry bushes their mission is crystal clear to them. They eat until the job is done. They don't take direction on how to do a job nor do they ask permission to do what needs to be done. They're brought to the problem, given boundaries to work within, and then they solve the problem. The goats are empowered to do what they do best.
As leaders we can learn something from goats. When there is a problem, be crystal clear with the team as to what the problem is, ensure they know the parameters of what "done" looks like, then get the heck out of the way and let them solve the problem. Don't micro-manage, insist something is done your way, or frustrate the team with random about-faces. Let them clear the fields and bask in the glow of knowing they did a great job solving a thorny issue.
Lonnie Pacelli
Keynote Speaker | Board Director | Autism Advocate | Author | Project Management Expert | Microsoft/Accenture Veteran
See his books on Amazon.
April 15, 2023
Free 4/19-20: Growing Up Autistic-50 Things You Should Know About Me
Free 4/19-20: Growing Up Autistic-50 Things You Should Know About MeGet it at https://amzn.to/2DPuGR8
#freebook #kindle #kindlefire #ebooks #ebook #Kindlefreebooks #Kindledeals #FREE #mustread #goodreads #greatreads #freebie #freebies #kindlebook #ad #autism #autistic #Asperger #ASD
