Kelly Swails's Blog, page 6
September 30, 2011
Shop in your jammies
A friend of mine makes handmade urban/vintage inspired jewelry. I own several pairs of earrings and, without fail, get complements whenever I wear them. Next time you let your fingers do the shopping, consider dropping by her Etsy Shop: Relly Rose Designs. Your ego will be glad you did.
September 26, 2011
The Idea-o-max 5000
This past Saturday I attended a surprise birthday party for my stepdad. Sure, the cake and wine and DJ were fun and all, but towards the end of the festivities I found a newfangled-story-idea-generator that I'm going to patent.
It's called a five-year-old.
The conversation started innocently enough. A boy was asked what he was going to be for Halloween.
C: A white ninja.
At this point I think the kid's got chops.
Kelly: Reeeally? A white ninja? How is that different than a black ninja?
C: He rides a dragon.
Kelly: A dragon? What kind of dragon? A kimodo dragon?
C: No. A dragon that breathes ice.
I was wrong before. He doesn't have chops. He's a frickin' genius.
Kelly: A dragon that breathes ice! Wow! That's so cool!
C: And there's a dragon that breathes fire and one that breathes electricity and one that breathes rocks.
Kelly: Holy cow! How can you possibly fight one of those dragons?
Here C looks very earnest and he lowers his voice.
C: You use the Golden Dragon.
Kelly: What does the Golden Dragon do?
C: He breathes ice and fire and electricity and rocks.
I was wrong before. He's not a genius. This kid's a frickin' prodigy.
Kelly: Whoa! How would you defeat the Golden Dragon?
C: You don't.
At which point he lost interest in his cake and went outside to play. I, on the other hand, had to sit and ponder and really wrap my mind around the concept of the Golden Dragon. How would one take one of those bad boys out?
It's called a five-year-old.
The conversation started innocently enough. A boy was asked what he was going to be for Halloween.
C: A white ninja.
At this point I think the kid's got chops.
Kelly: Reeeally? A white ninja? How is that different than a black ninja?
C: He rides a dragon.
Kelly: A dragon? What kind of dragon? A kimodo dragon?
C: No. A dragon that breathes ice.
I was wrong before. He doesn't have chops. He's a frickin' genius.
Kelly: A dragon that breathes ice! Wow! That's so cool!
C: And there's a dragon that breathes fire and one that breathes electricity and one that breathes rocks.
Kelly: Holy cow! How can you possibly fight one of those dragons?
Here C looks very earnest and he lowers his voice.
C: You use the Golden Dragon.
Kelly: What does the Golden Dragon do?
C: He breathes ice and fire and electricity and rocks.
I was wrong before. He's not a genius. This kid's a frickin' prodigy.
Kelly: Whoa! How would you defeat the Golden Dragon?
C: You don't.
At which point he lost interest in his cake and went outside to play. I, on the other hand, had to sit and ponder and really wrap my mind around the concept of the Golden Dragon. How would one take one of those bad boys out?
September 18, 2011
Behold the awesome
I fucking love the muppets. And Jason Segel is my hero for bringing 'em back.
The Panama Laugh--book review
The Panama Laugh by Thomas S. Roche grabs you by the throat and punches you in the face from beginning to end, and I mean that in a good way. The story begins around six weeks after a world-wide zombie apocolypse had occured. Our hero, a contractor/mercenary named Dante "Frosty" Bogart, finds himself completely naked in the middle of the jungle with no recollection of the past five years. Frosty--but don't call him that--must find his friends and a place to survive while piecing together his past. Oh, and if he could figure out what part he played in the collapse of society, that would be great. And if he could do all that while avoid bites from laughers--Roche's zombies can't stop laughing--that would be the icing on the end-of-the-world cake.
There is a lot to like here. The voice is perfect, as are the characters. The pacing doesn't give you much breathing room, which I liked. The structure of the narrative is confusing at times--it shifts between flashbacks and the here-and-now with rapidity--and so the lack of chapter breaks adds a kink into the otherwise bad-ass armor. Roche doesn't hold back on the gore level, which I appreciated, but at the same time I didn't feel it was ever gratuitous. If anything, I would have liked for the author to go deeper into the devestation. Dante isn't an emotional guy--hence the nickname--and so the lack of emotional connection to the loss of humanity made sense. I would have liked to have seen some sort of recognition of this on Dante's part--that this cold-hearted killer found his own humanity just as most everyone else in the world lost theirs.
But that's a minor quibble. The Panama Laugh is an enjoyable roller-coaster ride that will leave you satisfied--if a bit shaky--when you're done.
There is a lot to like here. The voice is perfect, as are the characters. The pacing doesn't give you much breathing room, which I liked. The structure of the narrative is confusing at times--it shifts between flashbacks and the here-and-now with rapidity--and so the lack of chapter breaks adds a kink into the otherwise bad-ass armor. Roche doesn't hold back on the gore level, which I appreciated, but at the same time I didn't feel it was ever gratuitous. If anything, I would have liked for the author to go deeper into the devestation. Dante isn't an emotional guy--hence the nickname--and so the lack of emotional connection to the loss of humanity made sense. I would have liked to have seen some sort of recognition of this on Dante's part--that this cold-hearted killer found his own humanity just as most everyone else in the world lost theirs.
But that's a minor quibble. The Panama Laugh is an enjoyable roller-coaster ride that will leave you satisfied--if a bit shaky--when you're done.
September 13, 2011
Contagion--movie review
What do you get when you mix And the Band Played On with The Stand? Contagion, a movie about a new virus that causes a global pandemic, that's what. Like most Soderberg films, it's got great acting and cinematography. I felt that most of the depictions were realistic. As such, it's a quiet movie. I kept expecting someone to Die! Horribly! because of a poor decision, but nothing like that happens, so in that regard it's not a typical formulaic Hollywood movie. It's stuck with me for a few days, and I would pay to see it again.
Watching it, I was reminded of why I like Microbiology so much. At the same time I wanted to quit my job and go to med school to be an epidemiologist. I love medical science.
I leave you with the coolest billboard ever:
Watching it, I was reminded of why I like Microbiology so much. At the same time I wanted to quit my job and go to med school to be an epidemiologist. I love medical science.
I leave you with the coolest billboard ever:
September 9, 2011
The Crimson Pact volume 2 is out today!
Volume 2 is available as an ebook from amazon.
What is The Crimson Pact, you ask? It's a band of warriors who vowed to destroy the demons of the Rusted Vale . . . but the demons had their own secret plan and escaped, invading dozens of worlds. Only by hunting them all down can the Pact redeem their broken promise.
In the first volume, "Frankie's Girl" is about a gangster's mistress in 1920's Chicago who must give up her lavish lifestyle if she wants to survive.
In the second, "Hunter's Incorporated" is about a Nazi hunter in 1950's Chicago who learns that Hitler's followers shouldn't be her biggest concern.
Join the pact. Fight the demons now.*
* Note: The proceeds from the sale of this book go to the continued eradication of every red-eyed, soul-stealing, shadow-lurking, flesh-eating, baby-stealing demon in the entire multiverse.
Oh, and here's the trailer for my story in Volume 2:
What is The Crimson Pact, you ask? It's a band of warriors who vowed to destroy the demons of the Rusted Vale . . . but the demons had their own secret plan and escaped, invading dozens of worlds. Only by hunting them all down can the Pact redeem their broken promise.
In the first volume, "Frankie's Girl" is about a gangster's mistress in 1920's Chicago who must give up her lavish lifestyle if she wants to survive.
In the second, "Hunter's Incorporated" is about a Nazi hunter in 1950's Chicago who learns that Hitler's followers shouldn't be her biggest concern.
Join the pact. Fight the demons now.*
* Note: The proceeds from the sale of this book go to the continued eradication of every red-eyed, soul-stealing, shadow-lurking, flesh-eating, baby-stealing demon in the entire multiverse.
Oh, and here's the trailer for my story in Volume 2:
September 6, 2011
Oy.
So I've joined a fall softball league. I had practice tonight, and I am stiff. I suspect tomorrow I will sore. It's been awhile since I've played, but the skills seem to be coming back.
It feels amazing.
Part of it is the exercise and part of it is the weather. I love the hint of crispness in the air. Soon there will be bonfires and football games and leaves crunching underfoot. Apple crisp and pumpkin lattes and mums. Autumn is when I feel most alive.
It feels amazing.
Part of it is the exercise and part of it is the weather. I love the hint of crispness in the air. Soon there will be bonfires and football games and leaves crunching underfoot. Apple crisp and pumpkin lattes and mums. Autumn is when I feel most alive.
Happy book birthday!
Be sure to hop over to
![[info]](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1380451598i/2033940.gif)
merriehaskell
's blog and wish her a happy book birthday!
Oh, and go and order The Princess Curse while you're at it.
merriehaskell
's blog and wish her a happy book birthday! Oh, and go and order The Princess Curse while you're at it.
August 31, 2011
August 30, 2011
New writing advice blog!
Writer and professor extrordinaire Tim Waggoner has a new writing advise column called "Writing in the Dark." He's brilliant and articulate--not to mention a great guy--so check it out if you're so inclined.
