Edward M. Hallowell's Blog, page 11

Doing What You Love To Do!

Greetings from Wellfleet, on Cape Cod. It’s a Sunday, the weather is generously beautiful, and I’m here for a week with my wife, Sue, and various relatives and guests to teach the course I’ve been teaching for how many summers now, is it 15?, to finish up the new book about ADHD John and I have been working on for quite a while, and to have fun.

This is as close as I get to what most people think of as a vacation.  The fact is, I don’t take vacations.  Sue goes away with girlfriends with some regularity for weekends or longer periods, and then we have two weeks, one our summer camp in Michigan in July, and one this course on Cape Cod in August, when Sue gets to read on the beach (her passion) and rest up (she works harder than anyone I know).

The reason I don’t take conventional vacations is that, for me, every day I’m doing what I love best.  I love my three jobs.  I see patients.  I write books. And I give seminars and talks.  Each one of those is a passion for me.  You might think I really ought to get away and go fishing.  I have many good friends who fish, and I love their stories about fishing, but the times I’ve tried it, I get bored pretty quickly, plus I have so little talent for it that I just get in the way or bring bad luck.

I do love golf, but that’s only because I play it with my sons, Tucker and Jack.  I love getting out on the course with them whenever I can, which is not very often, due to the schedules the three of us keep.  But when we can, we get out and ruin a good walk, as Mark Twain put it.

I once wrote about this in my newsletter and someone I respect a lot took me to task, telling me I should not model over-working.  I do not mean to do that.  What I mean to model is doing what you love.  I love what I do.  I’ve discovered the three things in life I’m good at, good enough so that people will pay me to do them: see patients, write books, and give talks.  So that’s what I do with my time, most of the time.

Sue loves to travel, and someday, if we can afford it, I’ve promised her we will travel to wherever she’d like to go.  I will bring my laptop so I can work on a book.  That’s the great thing about being a writer; all you need is your laptop and your imagination.  I just have to pray my mind holds up.

My wish for all of you is to do what you love as much as you can.  If people will pay you do what you love, then you’re lucky.  Or if you don’t need money, then you’re very lucky. I still need money, as most of us do.  But I have my three talents that God gave me, which I have worked hard to develop as I’ve grown older.

In December I will turn 70.  Sue and our 3 wonderful kids, the stars in my sky, want to take me away to Aruba, an island I used to love to go to before I even met Sue, and an island I vacationed with—yes I took conventional vacations way back when—Sue on before we got married, to celebrate my 70th. birthday. 

Just their wanting to do it is plenty of present for me.  Believe me, to have reached 70 years—assuming I do get to December 2 intact—with Sue and those 3 kids with me will be, for me, to have reached the tipmost top of Mount Olympus.

So, as I think about it, I suppose what I’ve really been doing all these days when I’ve supposedly been seeing patients, writing books, and giving talks is doing whatever it is a person does to make sure a marriage burns bright as a bonfire for 30 years, and three children, one glorious girl and two fantabulous boys, grow into all that they ever wanted to be, still counting, still growing.

Whatever it is a person does to do that, that’s what I’ve been doing instead of taking vacations or doing whatever else I might have done.  Because that’s what’s mainly been on my mind.   

I can’t end without thanking whoever you thank for all the help I needed and got every day along the way.

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ADHD & the Family “Reputation”

ADHD Parent Tip: Try to change the family “reputation” of the person with ADHD. Reputations within families, like reputations within towns or organizations, keep a person in one set or mold. Recasting within the family the reputation of the person with ADHD can set up a fresh start and brighter expectations. If you are expected to screw up, you probably will; if you are expected to succeed, you just might.

It may be hard to believe at first, but having ADHD can be more a gift than a curse. Try to see and develop the positive aspects of the person with ADHD and try to change their family reputation to accentuate these positive aspects. Remember, this person usually brings a special something to the family, special energies, special creativity, special humor. He (or she) usually livens up any gathering he attends, and even when he is disruptive it’s usually exciting to have him around. He or she has a lot to give; and the family, more than any group of people, can help him/her reach their potential.

Click HERE to learn more about ADHD for Parents.

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8 things I wish teachers knew about my child with ADHD

When he eventually became depressed — common for kids with ADHD — I made it my mission to ensure Nick’s teachers knew what interventions were working at home and what could help at school. Here’s what I’ve learned, and what I think every teacher should understand, too.

Some classroom interventions are helpful and others only make things worse. Parents can be a valuable resource.

Read More in the Boston Globe.

The post 8 things I wish teachers knew about my child with ADHD appeared first on Dr Hallowell ADHD and mental and cognitive health.

8 things I wish teachers knew about my child with ADHD

When he eventually became depressed — common for kids with ADHD — I made it my mission to ensure Nick’s teachers knew what interventions were working at home and what could help at school. Here’s what I’ve learned, and what I think every teacher should understand, too.

Some classroom interventions are helpful and others only make things worse. Parents can be a valuable resource.

Read More in the Boston Globe.

The post 8 things I wish teachers knew about my child with ADHD appeared first on Dr. Hallowell.

Burned out? Learn how to take back control!

Screens are sucking up so much of our time that people aren’t able to do what they really want, said Edward Hallowell, a psychiatrist who lives in Arlington and runs centers focusing on ADHD in Sudbury and around the country. This can put people in “survival mode,” making them impulsive, angry, inflexible, humorless, and unproductive.

“It’s exhausting to live a disconnected life that doesn’t have meaning,” he said. “Now more than ever . . . you have to be able to say no. You have to be able to say, ‘I’ll get back to you on that.’ ” The Boston Globe

Learn more tips on how to “feel less busy” here.

The post Burned out? Learn how to take back control! appeared first on Dr Hallowell ADHD and mental and cognitive health.

Burned out? Learn how to take back control!

Screens are sucking up so much of our time that people aren’t able to do what they really want, said Edward Hallowell, a psychiatrist who lives in Arlington and runs centers focusing on ADHD in Sudbury and around the country. This can put people in “survival mode,” making them impulsive, angry, inflexible, humorless, and unproductive.

“It’s exhausting to live a disconnected life that doesn’t have meaning,” he said. “Now more than ever . . . you have to be able to say no. You have to be able to say, ‘I’ll get back to you on that.’ ” The Boston Globe

Learn more tips on how to “feel less busy” here.

The post Burned out? Learn how to take back control! appeared first on Dr. Hallowell.

A Celebration of Life

Recently my wife, Sue, and I, along with my niece, Molly, and her 11-year-old daughter, Josselyn, who dreams of becoming a star of stage and screen one day, went to see Hugh Jackman at Madison Square Garden. This is part of a five-month world tour in some thirty cities for this 50-year-old phenom who seems to get younger every year.

As we sat and watched his dazzling performance, backed up by a cast of over 150 musicians, technicians, dancers, singers, and stagehands, not to mention his beautiful wife, Deb, seated in the audience, whom he serenaded in the sweetest, most romantic moment you’ll ever see in a live performance, I had to wonder not only at the huge talent of this man—his range, from song to dance to stage to screen to drama to comedy to variety—but to the extraordinary goodness of him as well.

The theme that ran throughout the two hour show was a full-on celebration of life in all its dimensions, in all its variety, in its total and glorious diversity. Out came Keala Settle to sing a searing rendition of the song “This Is Me” which she made famous as the Bearded Lady in “The Greatest Showman.” It includes the lines, “When the sharpest words wanna cut me down, I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out, I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be, this is me.”

How much Hugh Jackman understands and loves all this, loves differences in people, how much he celebrates it in the show he put on that night—and night after night around the world—as well as his wish to bring all people, no matter who, together. He said, “When I was in Minnesota, they taught me a new term, LGBTQA. I said I knew about LGBTQ, but what’s the A? They said it stands for ‘Allies’. I said, Great, because I’m an ally for sure. Now we have a term that includes everybody.” But then he went on to add, But when I got to New York, they told me, “Oh, no, Hugh, the ‘A’ stands for ‘Asexual’. Well, I’m not asexual, but I am an ally for sure!”

Hugh is an ally indeed, an ally of us all, a man who, along with Deb, applies his tremendous talent and resources to unite people, spread understanding and good will, raise spirits, and fill people’s lives with song, laughter, and love.

He’s a friend to our cause as well, the cause of invisible differences. Those lyrics from “This Is Me” could just as easily come out of the mouth of a person who has ADHD or dyslexia as out of the mouth of a woman who has a beard or a man who’s mocked for being short, fat, or funny-looking.

As I sat there in Madison Square Garden, being moved to laughter and tears by the World’s Greatest Showman I thought to myself how wonderful it is that God gives us a Hugh Jackman to offset the guttural voices of hatred and division, of ignorance and bigotry and scorn, that God gives us a Hugh Jackman to inspire us as he tours the world tirelessly raising hope every night, lifting up the people who can’t see the stars.

As I listened to his resounding voice and marveled at the light step of his dance, I knew that this man who was once a little boy in Australia watching Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly on TV, had been plucked up by the spirits that look out for us all and sent on a mission, a special World Tour, in which he was to put to rout the evil-scaled demons and dragons that kill people’s dreams and replace them instead with this shining star, this astonishing Knight in Red Circus who cast a spell upon us all, from little Josselyn sitting next to me, her mouth agape and her eyes as open as her heart, to the entire hurting and waiting world, if it would only listen.

The post A Celebration of Life appeared first on Dr Hallowell ADHD and mental and cognitive health.

A Celebration of Life

Recently my wife, Sue, and I, along with my niece, Molly, and her 11-year-old daughter, Josselyn, who dreams of becoming a star of stage and screen one day, went to see Hugh Jackman at Madison Square Garden. This is part of a five-month world tour in some thirty cities for this 50-year-old phenom who seems to get younger every year.

As we sat and watched his dazzling performance, backed up by a cast of over 150 musicians, technicians, dancers, singers, and stagehands, not to mention his beautiful wife, Deb, seated in the audience, whom he serenaded in the sweetest, most romantic moment you’ll ever see in a live performance, I had to wonder not only at the huge talent of this man—his range, from song to dance to stage to screen to drama to comedy to variety—but to the extraordinary goodness of him as well.

The theme that ran throughout the two hour show was a full-on celebration of life in all its dimensions, in all its variety, in its total and glorious diversity. Out came Keala Settle to sing a searing rendition of the song “This Is Me” which she made famous as the Bearded Lady in “The Greatest Showman.” It includes the lines, “When the sharpest words wanna cut me down, I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out, I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be, this is me.”

How much Hugh Jackman understands and loves all this, loves differences in people, how much he celebrates it in the show he put on that night—and night after night around the world—as well as his wish to bring all people, no matter who, together. He said, “When I was in Minnesota, they taught me a new term, LGBTQA. I said I knew about LGBTQ, but what’s the A? They said it stands for ‘Allies’. I said, Great, because I’m an ally for sure. Now we have a term that includes everybody.” But then he went on to add, But when I got to New York, they told me, “Oh, no, Hugh, the ‘A’ stands for ‘Asexual’. Well, I’m not asexual, but I am an ally for sure!”

Hugh is an ally indeed, an ally of us all, a man who, along with Deb, applies his tremendous talent and resources to unite people, spread understanding and good will, raise spirits, and fill people’s lives with song, laughter, and love.

He’s a friend to our cause as well, the cause of invisible differences. Those lyrics from “This Is Me” could just as easily come out of the mouth of a person who has ADHD or dyslexia as out of the mouth of a woman who has a beard or a man who’s mocked for being short, fat, or funny-looking.

As I sat there in Madison Square Garden, being moved to laughter and tears by the World’s Greatest Showman I thought to myself how wonderful it is that God gives us a Hugh Jackman to offset the guttural voices of hatred and division, of ignorance and bigotry and scorn, that God gives us a Hugh Jackman to inspire us as he tours the world tirelessly raising hope every night, lifting up the people who can’t see the stars.

As I listened to his resounding voice and marveled at the light step of his dance, I knew that this man who was once a little boy in Australia watching Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly on TV, had been plucked up by the spirits that look out for us all and sent on a mission, a special World Tour, in which he was to put to rout the evil-scaled demons and dragons that kill people’s dreams and replace them instead with this shining star, this astonishing Knight in Red Circus who cast a spell upon us all, from little Josselyn sitting next to me, her mouth agape and her eyes as open as her heart, to the entire hurting and waiting world, if it would only listen.

The post A Celebration of Life appeared first on Dr. Hallowell.

Superparenting for ADHD

The worst is not knowing what is going on, having nowhere to turn for help, feeling you or your child are constantly being misunderstood and even attacked, and feeling helpless in the face of ongoing problems and conflicts. The worst is feeling alone. The worst is knowing that your child is not getting what he or she needs and not knowing what to do about it. The worst is watching your child suffer and not being able to provide the right kind of help. The worst is the feeling of powerlessness in the face of unjust and unwarranted pain in the life of your child.

In that sense, the worst is over. We can help and guide you, and even more important, join you so that you no longer feel alone.  Whether you are a parent or a grandparent, you are invited to attend online for FREE the 2nd annual Parents’ ADHD Palooza  beginning July 29th through August 3rd, 2019.

Join Dr. Hallowell on August 2nd as he shares his innovative approach to raising your distracted child and tips on Superparenting for ADHD.  There are 29 other parenting legends and luminaries sharing their expertise for this extraordinary week of insight and inspiration.

The event is hosted by Linda Roggli of ADDiva.net and Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster of ImpactADHD.com. the ADHD Parents’ Palooza will improve the way you parent kids with ADHD!

Register for free HERE and reserve your spot now! The ADHD Parents’ Palooza will improve the way you parent kids with ADHD!

 

The post Superparenting for ADHD appeared first on Dr Hallowell ADHD and mental and cognitive health.

Superparenting for ADHD

The worst is not knowing what is going on, having nowhere to turn for help, feeling you or your child are constantly being misunderstood and even attacked, and feeling helpless in the face of ongoing problems and conflicts. The worst is feeling alone. The worst is knowing that your child is not getting what he or she needs and not knowing what to do about it. The worst is watching your child suffer and not being able to provide the right kind of help. The worst is the feeling of powerlessness in the face of unjust and unwarranted pain in the life of your child.

In that sense, the worst is over. We can help and guide you, and even more important, join you so that you no longer feel alone.  Whether you are a parent or a grandparent, you are invited to attend online for FREE the 2nd annual Parents’ ADHD Palooza  beginning July 29th through August 3rd, 2019.

Join Dr. Hallowell on August 2nd as he shares his innovative approach to raising your distracted child and tips on Superparenting for ADHD.  There are 29 other parenting legends and luminaries sharing their expertise for this extraordinary week of insight and inspiration.

The event is hosted by Linda Roggli of ADDiva.net and Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster of ImpactADHD.com. the ADHD Parents’ Palooza will improve the way you parent kids with ADHD!

Register for free HERE and reserve your spot now! The ADHD Parents’ Palooza will improve the way you parent kids with ADHD!

The post Superparenting for ADHD appeared first on Dr. Hallowell.