Steven Harper's Blog, page 28
April 10, 2022
Rally of Writers 2022
Yesterday, I was a featured speaker at the Rally of Writers conference in Lansing. It's a good one-day conference that has been put on hold for two years because of the pandemic, but now it's back. Yay!
I was asked to give a workshop about YA fiction. This was a new speaking topic for me--although I've written a great many YA books, I haven't actually spoken about this topic in a workshop before. But I'm a teacher, and making lesson plans is what I do. So I put together an interactive, one-hour workshop about YA fiction, drove up to Lansing, and presented it. The workshop went over quite well, I think, and I had some wonderful conversations with other writers and conference attendees.
And then home.
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I was asked to give a workshop about YA fiction. This was a new speaking topic for me--although I've written a great many YA books, I haven't actually spoken about this topic in a workshop before. But I'm a teacher, and making lesson plans is what I do. So I put together an interactive, one-hour workshop about YA fiction, drove up to Lansing, and presented it. The workshop went over quite well, I think, and I had some wonderful conversations with other writers and conference attendees.
And then home.
comments
March 30, 2022
The Bi-Annual House Hunting Rant
What with one thing and another, Darwin and I are house hunting. We've seen a bunch of houses. Naturally, we're running into the current seller's market problem. These days, you don't look at several houses, then say, "You know, I like the one on James Street. How about we go see it again? Maybe we'll put in an offer."
No, these days when a house goes on the market, you become part of a barbarian horde. You need to storm through the house and follow up by flinging offers within an hour of the place it hitting the market, only to learn it already has competing offers.
Darwin and I attended an open house for a place that had gone on the market at 8 AM that morning. We arrived at the open house at noon, exactly when it began, and the realtor told us the place had three offers on it. Makes house hunting a challenge.
But I'm not here to complain about the market. No, I'm here once again to point out problems with people who are trying to sell their houses.
--Clean your freaking house! I mean, REALLY clean it. I can't tell you how many times I walked into a house and the floors were gritty, the cupboards crumby, the baseboards grimy, the bathrooms mildewy. Yes, I know I'll be repainting and recarpeting when I move in, but when I see a gross house, it makes me think, "If they can't keep the place clean--or make it presentable to buyers--what else have they neglected? And . . . ew!" Next house!
--Dump the clutter! Clutter is awful. And I don't mean the junk-lying-around clutter or stuff-not-put-away clutter (though I've seen plenty of that). It's the over-decorator clutter. Piles of pillows on every sofa. Hundreds of plants. Knickknacks on every surface. Walls covered with photographs. They make the house feel closed-in and claustrophobic. Strip it down and stash it away.
--Cut back on the furniture. Yes, I know you live there. But not even the Brady Bunch needs four couches and six easy chairs. One house we visited had living room sets in the dining room and the den as well as in the living room, a family room, and a rec room. I felt like I was visiting Ikea. If you don't use it on a daily basis, put it in storage.
--Get rid of any hint of animal smell. If I walk into a house and smell animals, I turn around and leave. If you have animals but can't keep them from smelling up the house, heavens only know what else you've neglected. And anyway, I don't want to live with previous owner animal smell. I have animals, and work very hard to make sure you can't smell them. If you've lived with your animals for so long that you can't tell anymore if they smell, get a non-resident family member or friend to be honest with you and check. Then clear it out!
comments
No, these days when a house goes on the market, you become part of a barbarian horde. You need to storm through the house and follow up by flinging offers within an hour of the place it hitting the market, only to learn it already has competing offers.
Darwin and I attended an open house for a place that had gone on the market at 8 AM that morning. We arrived at the open house at noon, exactly when it began, and the realtor told us the place had three offers on it. Makes house hunting a challenge.
But I'm not here to complain about the market. No, I'm here once again to point out problems with people who are trying to sell their houses.
--Clean your freaking house! I mean, REALLY clean it. I can't tell you how many times I walked into a house and the floors were gritty, the cupboards crumby, the baseboards grimy, the bathrooms mildewy. Yes, I know I'll be repainting and recarpeting when I move in, but when I see a gross house, it makes me think, "If they can't keep the place clean--or make it presentable to buyers--what else have they neglected? And . . . ew!" Next house!
--Dump the clutter! Clutter is awful. And I don't mean the junk-lying-around clutter or stuff-not-put-away clutter (though I've seen plenty of that). It's the over-decorator clutter. Piles of pillows on every sofa. Hundreds of plants. Knickknacks on every surface. Walls covered with photographs. They make the house feel closed-in and claustrophobic. Strip it down and stash it away.
--Cut back on the furniture. Yes, I know you live there. But not even the Brady Bunch needs four couches and six easy chairs. One house we visited had living room sets in the dining room and the den as well as in the living room, a family room, and a rec room. I felt like I was visiting Ikea. If you don't use it on a daily basis, put it in storage.
--Get rid of any hint of animal smell. If I walk into a house and smell animals, I turn around and leave. If you have animals but can't keep them from smelling up the house, heavens only know what else you've neglected. And anyway, I don't want to live with previous owner animal smell. I have animals, and work very hard to make sure you can't smell them. If you've lived with your animals for so long that you can't tell anymore if they smell, get a non-resident family member or friend to be honest with you and check. Then clear it out!
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The Lost City
Just got back from THE LOST CITY with Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum (and Brad Pitt). It was extremely funny, adventurous, and romantic all at the same time. Best line: "It's a rock sphincter."
Well, you had to be there.
Highly recommended.
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Well, you had to be there.
Highly recommended.
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Shoulder Surgery 19 (The Brisk Doctor)
A while ago, I had another follow-up visit with the surgeon about my shoulder. These visits are always highly-charged for me. My emotions run all over the place, and I cope by shutting down. Unfortunately, this makes it difficult to respond to what's going on in the appointment.
The doctor breezed in and asked brisk questions. He ran some brisk strength tests ("Push my arm this way." "Don't let me move your arm that way") and briskly pronounced my tendons were healed enough that I didn't need physical therapy any more. It barely took two minutes of examination for him to come to this conclusion.
I was confused. "But I'm not anywhere near at normal strength, and I don't have full range of motion. Not even half."
"Then you can continue," he said with a brisk nod.
This seemed like a strange choice to have to make. I should have asked follow-up questions: Will I get full strength and range of motion back without physical therapy? If so, will it just take longer? Should I keep up the exercises at home? But I wasn't in an emotional place to think of these things.
Instead, I told him my arm still hurts regularly. I get between half and hour and 45 minutes of no pain, and then it comes back. And it always, always hurts by the end of the day and it hurts in the morning when I wake up. In fact, the pain is bad enough that it forces me out of bed. I can't sleep in much.
I also asked why, thirteen weeks post-surgery, I was still having pain when I was told that the pain would stop at eight to ten weeks.
Here, he gave a shrug. A brisk one. "The tendon is still inflamed. Over the next weeks or months, the pain will fade away."
I was shocked again. I still have to take opiate pain meds on a regular basis, and at that time I was 13 weeks post-surgery. (For the record, I still have to, and I'm in week 14.) "Months?" I repeated stupidly.
"It can happen," he said briskly. "I'll tell the PT clinic you want to keep going, if you want. See you again in six weeks." And he left.
The pain revelation was a gut punch. First it was the pain would be gone in a couple weeks. After a couple weeks, I learned that, no, it would be at least a couple months. Now it's more and more months.
I try to tell myself that the pain is less. It's less than it was in January. It's less than it was before the operation. I had to have the operation to repair existing damage and to stop it from getting worse. But the pain is still there, gnawing at me and draining me. I feel like I was tricked into having the surgery. And the doctor couldn't get out of there fast enough. It's like he was dodging questions because he knew he had no answers--or he was afraid of my reaction to them. Why wasn't I told at the beginning that this was how it would be? Where are the strategies for dealing with the pain? The scrips I have don't work very well--they just fuzz me out so I don't mind being in pain. The pain itself remains.
I got out to the car and I cried again and banged my fists on the steering wheel before I could drive home.
Yesterday, I decided to see if I could find a pain specialist. But the one I called put me on hold for twenty minutes while a recorded voice told me they were experiencing a high call volume. I finally hung up. I guess I'll try again elsewhere.
And my arm hurts while I type this.
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The doctor breezed in and asked brisk questions. He ran some brisk strength tests ("Push my arm this way." "Don't let me move your arm that way") and briskly pronounced my tendons were healed enough that I didn't need physical therapy any more. It barely took two minutes of examination for him to come to this conclusion.
I was confused. "But I'm not anywhere near at normal strength, and I don't have full range of motion. Not even half."
"Then you can continue," he said with a brisk nod.
This seemed like a strange choice to have to make. I should have asked follow-up questions: Will I get full strength and range of motion back without physical therapy? If so, will it just take longer? Should I keep up the exercises at home? But I wasn't in an emotional place to think of these things.
Instead, I told him my arm still hurts regularly. I get between half and hour and 45 minutes of no pain, and then it comes back. And it always, always hurts by the end of the day and it hurts in the morning when I wake up. In fact, the pain is bad enough that it forces me out of bed. I can't sleep in much.
I also asked why, thirteen weeks post-surgery, I was still having pain when I was told that the pain would stop at eight to ten weeks.
Here, he gave a shrug. A brisk one. "The tendon is still inflamed. Over the next weeks or months, the pain will fade away."
I was shocked again. I still have to take opiate pain meds on a regular basis, and at that time I was 13 weeks post-surgery. (For the record, I still have to, and I'm in week 14.) "Months?" I repeated stupidly.
"It can happen," he said briskly. "I'll tell the PT clinic you want to keep going, if you want. See you again in six weeks." And he left.
The pain revelation was a gut punch. First it was the pain would be gone in a couple weeks. After a couple weeks, I learned that, no, it would be at least a couple months. Now it's more and more months.
I try to tell myself that the pain is less. It's less than it was in January. It's less than it was before the operation. I had to have the operation to repair existing damage and to stop it from getting worse. But the pain is still there, gnawing at me and draining me. I feel like I was tricked into having the surgery. And the doctor couldn't get out of there fast enough. It's like he was dodging questions because he knew he had no answers--or he was afraid of my reaction to them. Why wasn't I told at the beginning that this was how it would be? Where are the strategies for dealing with the pain? The scrips I have don't work very well--they just fuzz me out so I don't mind being in pain. The pain itself remains.
I got out to the car and I cried again and banged my fists on the steering wheel before I could drive home.
Yesterday, I decided to see if I could find a pain specialist. But the one I called put me on hold for twenty minutes while a recorded voice told me they were experiencing a high call volume. I finally hung up. I guess I'll try again elsewhere.
And my arm hurts while I type this.
comments
March 28, 2022
Lawrence, For Better or For Worse
Lynn Johnston is re-running on her FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE website the story of Lawrence coming out. It first ran in 1993, creating a lot of controversy ("You can't put that in a family newspaper comic strip!") and ultimately winning Johnston a Pulitzer.
I was in college for the second time when that came out. I was a member of Central Michigan University's LGTB organization, and the strips were posted all over the group's cubicle space in the student organization center. The strip was an incredible thing to see. I finally called THE MIDLAND DAILY NEWS, which was running the strip, and got hold of the editor to tell him how wonderful it was, and how happy we all were to see it.
"Oh!" the editor said. "I was afraid you another person calling to complain about the strip. We've gotten a lot of those."
"No, we think it's fantastic," I said. "Don't listen to the complainers. The people who love the strip just aren't calling you. It's the way people think."
He laughed and agreed.
You can read it daily below:
https://fborfw.com/strip_fix/saturday-march-26-2022/
And here's a link to the story of the story:
https://www.fborfw.com/news/lawrence-coming-out/
comments
I was in college for the second time when that came out. I was a member of Central Michigan University's LGTB organization, and the strips were posted all over the group's cubicle space in the student organization center. The strip was an incredible thing to see. I finally called THE MIDLAND DAILY NEWS, which was running the strip, and got hold of the editor to tell him how wonderful it was, and how happy we all were to see it.
"Oh!" the editor said. "I was afraid you another person calling to complain about the strip. We've gotten a lot of those."
"No, we think it's fantastic," I said. "Don't listen to the complainers. The people who love the strip just aren't calling you. It's the way people think."
He laughed and agreed.
You can read it daily below:
https://fborfw.com/strip_fix/saturday-march-26-2022/
And here's a link to the story of the story:
https://www.fborfw.com/news/lawrence-coming-out/
comments
March 25, 2022
How Not To Address the Teacher Shortage
The writing in this article is extraordinarily awful, but it brings to light an equally awful situation.
Short version: In order to punish teachers who quit during the school year, Texas voids their teacher certification, meaning they can't teach =anywhere=. Not only does this highlight the continuing war against teachers by the GOP, it is also beyond foolish. In the middle of the biggest teacher shortage in American history, Texas is kicking teachers out of the profession AND discouraging existing teachers from coming to Texas AND discouraging young people from becoming teachers.
https://www.kxan.com/investigations/more-texas-schools-threaten-teacher-certificates-for-those-who-quit/
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Short version: In order to punish teachers who quit during the school year, Texas voids their teacher certification, meaning they can't teach =anywhere=. Not only does this highlight the continuing war against teachers by the GOP, it is also beyond foolish. In the middle of the biggest teacher shortage in American history, Texas is kicking teachers out of the profession AND discouraging existing teachers from coming to Texas AND discouraging young people from becoming teachers.
https://www.kxan.com/investigations/more-texas-schools-threaten-teacher-certificates-for-those-who-quit/
comments
March 17, 2022
Conservative Lawsuit Idiocy
https://www.theoaklandpress.com/.../lawsuit-school.../
I have a lot to say about this lawsuit.
You'll notice that Litkouhi (who is clearly a shill for the Mackinac Center) has children in the district, but nowhere does the article say she has children in the class. Why is she demanding lesson plans for a class her children aren't involved in? (Answer: she and the Center are just trying to make it look like the district is keeping secrets about what it's teaching.)Litkouhi also claims she demanded curriculum, but didn't get lesson plans, videos, activities, or tests, so she's suing. But these materials aren't curriculum. Curriculum is the overall stuff: learning goals, benchmarks, and so on. The delivery of curriculum via daily lesson plans is up to the teacher, but those plans and materials aren't part of the curriculum. Litkouhi got what she asked for, and she's complaining about it.We have some information here that's fuzzy. Various articles note the course is brand new. This would indicate that the materials Litkouhi is demanding literally don't exist yet. Most teachers plan about a week in advance. Plan further ahead than that, and you're asking for trouble--too many circumstances will force you to change stuff (snow days, fire drills, assemblies, teacher absences, the need to re-teach, and on and on and on).
Other articles claim the course has been taught for six months, but the district claims they don't have the material in question. See? They're KEEPING SECRETS. But it's not clear that lesson plans fall under FOIA. Teachers aren't required to file them officially or anything. The district as an entity doesn't actually have any way to ensure that lesson plans exist in written form. They may exist solely in the teacher's head. I know some teachers who have been teaching for so long, they don't write lesson plans down, except perhaps as cryptic notes like "Unt. 4, x 1-20." Additionally, since school districts don't keep teacher-created lesson plans on file, the district has no real way to confirm that lesson plans actually exist. The district could order teachers to hand over copies of their notes, but if the teacher said, "I don't have any," or if the notes made no sense to an outside reader, there's nothing under FOIA to require them in written form.
Litkouhi is also demanding prompts the teacher created in Flipgrid and on Google Classroom. But those materials actually belong to Flipgrid and Google. Litkouhi wold have to file a FOIA from them. Good luck with that.
In any case, I don't understand why Litkouhi doesn't simply ask the teacher. Or the students in the class.
It's NEVER a secret what a teacher is teaching. I have over 160 students. Do you think ANYTHING I do in the classroom is a secret? That I could somehow force 160 teenagers to keep quiet about what happens in my class? Please. Litkouhi and the Center are just trying to get support for the "force schools to post all lesson plans a year in advance" movement.
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I have a lot to say about this lawsuit.
You'll notice that Litkouhi (who is clearly a shill for the Mackinac Center) has children in the district, but nowhere does the article say she has children in the class. Why is she demanding lesson plans for a class her children aren't involved in? (Answer: she and the Center are just trying to make it look like the district is keeping secrets about what it's teaching.)Litkouhi also claims she demanded curriculum, but didn't get lesson plans, videos, activities, or tests, so she's suing. But these materials aren't curriculum. Curriculum is the overall stuff: learning goals, benchmarks, and so on. The delivery of curriculum via daily lesson plans is up to the teacher, but those plans and materials aren't part of the curriculum. Litkouhi got what she asked for, and she's complaining about it.We have some information here that's fuzzy. Various articles note the course is brand new. This would indicate that the materials Litkouhi is demanding literally don't exist yet. Most teachers plan about a week in advance. Plan further ahead than that, and you're asking for trouble--too many circumstances will force you to change stuff (snow days, fire drills, assemblies, teacher absences, the need to re-teach, and on and on and on).
Other articles claim the course has been taught for six months, but the district claims they don't have the material in question. See? They're KEEPING SECRETS. But it's not clear that lesson plans fall under FOIA. Teachers aren't required to file them officially or anything. The district as an entity doesn't actually have any way to ensure that lesson plans exist in written form. They may exist solely in the teacher's head. I know some teachers who have been teaching for so long, they don't write lesson plans down, except perhaps as cryptic notes like "Unt. 4, x 1-20." Additionally, since school districts don't keep teacher-created lesson plans on file, the district has no real way to confirm that lesson plans actually exist. The district could order teachers to hand over copies of their notes, but if the teacher said, "I don't have any," or if the notes made no sense to an outside reader, there's nothing under FOIA to require them in written form.
Litkouhi is also demanding prompts the teacher created in Flipgrid and on Google Classroom. But those materials actually belong to Flipgrid and Google. Litkouhi wold have to file a FOIA from them. Good luck with that.
In any case, I don't understand why Litkouhi doesn't simply ask the teacher. Or the students in the class.
It's NEVER a secret what a teacher is teaching. I have over 160 students. Do you think ANYTHING I do in the classroom is a secret? That I could somehow force 160 teenagers to keep quiet about what happens in my class? Please. Litkouhi and the Center are just trying to get support for the "force schools to post all lesson plans a year in advance" movement.
comments
stevenpiziks @ 2022-03-17T19:48:00
https://www.theoaklandpress.com/.../lawsuit-school.../
I have a lot to say about this lawsuit.
You'll notice that Litkouhi (who is clearly a shill for the Mackinac Center) has children in the district, but nowhere does the article say she has children in the class. Why is she demanding lesson plans for a class her children aren't involved in? (Answer: she and the Center are just trying to make it look like the district is keeping secrets about what it's teaching.)Litkouhi also claims she demanded curriculum, but didn't get lesson plans, videos, activities, or tests, so she's suing. But these materials aren't curriculum. Curriculum is the overall stuff: learning goals, benchmarks, and so on. The delivery of curriculum via daily lesson plans is up to the teacher, but those plans and materials aren't part of the curriculum. Litkouhi got what she asked for, and she's complaining about it.We have some information here that's fuzzy. Various articles note the course is brand new. This would indicate that the materials Litkouhi is demanding literally don't exist yet. Most teachers plan about a week in advance. Plan further ahead than that, and you're asking for trouble--too many circumstances will force you to change stuff (snow days, fire drills, assemblies, teacher absences, the need to re-teach, and on and on and on).
Other articles claim the course has been taught for six months, but the district claims they don't have the material in question. See? They're KEEPING SECRETS. But it's not clear that lesson plans fall under FOIA. Teachers aren't required to file them officially or anything. The district as an entity doesn't actually have any way to ensure that lesson plans exist in written form. They may exist solely in the teacher's head. I know some teachers who have been teaching for so long, they don't write lesson plans down, except perhaps as cryptic notes like "Unt. 4, x 1-20." Additionally, since school districts don't keep teacher-created lesson plans on file, the district has no real way to confirm that lesson plans actually exist. The district could order teachers to hand over copies of their notes, but if the teacher said, "I don't have any," or if the notes made no sense to an outside reader, there's nothing under FOIA to require them in written form.
Litkouhi is also demanding prompts the teacher created in Flipgrid and on Google Classroom. But those materials actually belong to Flipgrid and Google. Litkouhi wold have to file a FOIA from them. Good luck with that.
In any case, I don't understand why Litkouhi doesn't simply ask the teacher. Or the students in the class.
It's NEVER a secret what a teacher is teaching. I have over 160 students. Do you think ANYTHING I do in the classroom is a secret? That I could somehow force 160 teenagers to keep quiet about what happens in my class? Please. Litkouhi and the Center are just trying to get support for the "force schools to post all lesson plans a year in advance" movement.
comments
I have a lot to say about this lawsuit.
You'll notice that Litkouhi (who is clearly a shill for the Mackinac Center) has children in the district, but nowhere does the article say she has children in the class. Why is she demanding lesson plans for a class her children aren't involved in? (Answer: she and the Center are just trying to make it look like the district is keeping secrets about what it's teaching.)Litkouhi also claims she demanded curriculum, but didn't get lesson plans, videos, activities, or tests, so she's suing. But these materials aren't curriculum. Curriculum is the overall stuff: learning goals, benchmarks, and so on. The delivery of curriculum via daily lesson plans is up to the teacher, but those plans and materials aren't part of the curriculum. Litkouhi got what she asked for, and she's complaining about it.We have some information here that's fuzzy. Various articles note the course is brand new. This would indicate that the materials Litkouhi is demanding literally don't exist yet. Most teachers plan about a week in advance. Plan further ahead than that, and you're asking for trouble--too many circumstances will force you to change stuff (snow days, fire drills, assemblies, teacher absences, the need to re-teach, and on and on and on).
Other articles claim the course has been taught for six months, but the district claims they don't have the material in question. See? They're KEEPING SECRETS. But it's not clear that lesson plans fall under FOIA. Teachers aren't required to file them officially or anything. The district as an entity doesn't actually have any way to ensure that lesson plans exist in written form. They may exist solely in the teacher's head. I know some teachers who have been teaching for so long, they don't write lesson plans down, except perhaps as cryptic notes like "Unt. 4, x 1-20." Additionally, since school districts don't keep teacher-created lesson plans on file, the district has no real way to confirm that lesson plans actually exist. The district could order teachers to hand over copies of their notes, but if the teacher said, "I don't have any," or if the notes made no sense to an outside reader, there's nothing under FOIA to require them in written form.
Litkouhi is also demanding prompts the teacher created in Flipgrid and on Google Classroom. But those materials actually belong to Flipgrid and Google. Litkouhi wold have to file a FOIA from them. Good luck with that.
In any case, I don't understand why Litkouhi doesn't simply ask the teacher. Or the students in the class.
It's NEVER a secret what a teacher is teaching. I have over 160 students. Do you think ANYTHING I do in the classroom is a secret? That I could somehow force 160 teenagers to keep quiet about what happens in my class? Please. Litkouhi and the Center are just trying to get support for the "force schools to post all lesson plans a year in advance" movement.
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Weird Sick Day
Today I was halfway to work when a wave of nausea swept over me and I realized I was sweating heavily. Seriously heavily. I wiped my face and head with a paper napkin, and it was instantly drenched. The nausea got worse, and I seriously considered pulling over to throw up.
I got to work and the feelings abated a little, though not entirely. I asked the building secretary if she had any extra subs available that day, and she said she did. I told her how I was feeling and that I wasn't sure I'd make it through the day. She nodded and told me to hit her up if I needed to go home.
I was getting a little worried. What was this? I'd recently changed around some of my medications. Was this a symptom? Was it food poisoning? I haven't had illness-related nausea in years and years.
In my classroom, the nausea returned at full force, and I felt . . . wrong. Not achy or feverish. Just wrong. I decided I'd better go home. I called the secretary, and she sent up a substitute. I threw together some lesson plans and announced to my first hour what was going on.
"Oh!" said one student. "That's the nine-hour bug."
I blinked. "I haven't heard of this one."
Another student chimed in. "Yeah, lots of people are getting sick. Nausea, sweating. But only for about nine hours."
Other students were nodding in agreement.
"I'm glad you brought this up," I replied. "I was worried something was seriously wrong!"
I went home to a startled Darwin and slept all morning, and then slept a good chunk of the afternoon. The weather had turned unseasonably warm (low seventies), and I wanted to go on a ride, the first of the season, but I didn't have the energy, so I read on the balcony.
I'm feeling rather better now. The nausea is gone, but I still feel dragged out.
It was a weird sick day.
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I got to work and the feelings abated a little, though not entirely. I asked the building secretary if she had any extra subs available that day, and she said she did. I told her how I was feeling and that I wasn't sure I'd make it through the day. She nodded and told me to hit her up if I needed to go home.
I was getting a little worried. What was this? I'd recently changed around some of my medications. Was this a symptom? Was it food poisoning? I haven't had illness-related nausea in years and years.
In my classroom, the nausea returned at full force, and I felt . . . wrong. Not achy or feverish. Just wrong. I decided I'd better go home. I called the secretary, and she sent up a substitute. I threw together some lesson plans and announced to my first hour what was going on.
"Oh!" said one student. "That's the nine-hour bug."
I blinked. "I haven't heard of this one."
Another student chimed in. "Yeah, lots of people are getting sick. Nausea, sweating. But only for about nine hours."
Other students were nodding in agreement.
"I'm glad you brought this up," I replied. "I was worried something was seriously wrong!"
I went home to a startled Darwin and slept all morning, and then slept a good chunk of the afternoon. The weather had turned unseasonably warm (low seventies), and I wanted to go on a ride, the first of the season, but I didn't have the energy, so I read on the balcony.
I'm feeling rather better now. The nausea is gone, but I still feel dragged out.
It was a weird sick day.
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March 16, 2022
Shoulder Surgery 18 (Pop!)
As I've observed before, the problem with physical therapy is that pain is the measure of everything. You do something until it hurts BAD. If it doesn't hurt, it isn't helping. If the pain stops, you push until it does. So it always ALWAYS hurts.
The worst and most painful section of shoulder surgery is regaining the ability to reach behind your back. It's the last thing to return, and the most difficult to pull off. I have to use pulleys that haul my arm up behind my back until the pain makes me sweat (hold it there for thirty seconds . . . now do it again). T--, my therapist, also does painful stretches on me. While I'm seated, he holds my arm out sideways and bent at the elbow so my hand is pointing down. Then, with my elbow held firmly in place, he bends my forearm backward and toward my back until I yell. He holds it there for an agonizingly long time while I clench my free hand into a fist that puts marks on my palm, then finally puts my arm back in my lap. I always need a few minutes to recover. Sometimes I get dizzy--the abrupt surcease of pain when he brings my arm back is literally staggering.
My hyper-flexibility is another enemy here. At the moment, I can reach the small of my back. With the pulleys, I can go about halfway up my spine. For many people, this is the farthest they can go, but in my case, I'm less than halfway there. So the stretches and pain have to continue.
Today during this particular stretch, T-- bent my arm farther than before, and I yelped at him to stop. He held my arm in position as usual, and I was channeling everything into that fist. It was awful, as usual.
Then something . . . gave. It was almost a pop. And the pain ended. I felt nothing at all.
I reported this to T--. "This doesn't even feel like I'm stretching."
In response, T-- bent my arm farther still. And farther. The back of my hand was touching the back of my chair. Still I felt nothing.
"Let's have you stand up," T-- said.
I got up. T-- stood behind me, holding my wrist and elbow in that restraining move you sometimes see cops use. He pulled up and up until the pain flashed down my arm again and I told him to stop. As usual, he held my arm in position and my fist clenched tight enough to turn coal into diamond. Then he relaxed me. The pain ended so abruptly, I had to sit down.
"That's good," T-- said, and offered me an ice pack.
Pain is progress and progress is pain.
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The worst and most painful section of shoulder surgery is regaining the ability to reach behind your back. It's the last thing to return, and the most difficult to pull off. I have to use pulleys that haul my arm up behind my back until the pain makes me sweat (hold it there for thirty seconds . . . now do it again). T--, my therapist, also does painful stretches on me. While I'm seated, he holds my arm out sideways and bent at the elbow so my hand is pointing down. Then, with my elbow held firmly in place, he bends my forearm backward and toward my back until I yell. He holds it there for an agonizingly long time while I clench my free hand into a fist that puts marks on my palm, then finally puts my arm back in my lap. I always need a few minutes to recover. Sometimes I get dizzy--the abrupt surcease of pain when he brings my arm back is literally staggering.
My hyper-flexibility is another enemy here. At the moment, I can reach the small of my back. With the pulleys, I can go about halfway up my spine. For many people, this is the farthest they can go, but in my case, I'm less than halfway there. So the stretches and pain have to continue.
Today during this particular stretch, T-- bent my arm farther than before, and I yelped at him to stop. He held my arm in position as usual, and I was channeling everything into that fist. It was awful, as usual.
Then something . . . gave. It was almost a pop. And the pain ended. I felt nothing at all.
I reported this to T--. "This doesn't even feel like I'm stretching."
In response, T-- bent my arm farther still. And farther. The back of my hand was touching the back of my chair. Still I felt nothing.
"Let's have you stand up," T-- said.
I got up. T-- stood behind me, holding my wrist and elbow in that restraining move you sometimes see cops use. He pulled up and up until the pain flashed down my arm again and I told him to stop. As usual, he held my arm in position and my fist clenched tight enough to turn coal into diamond. Then he relaxed me. The pain ended so abruptly, I had to sit down.
"That's good," T-- said, and offered me an ice pack.
Pain is progress and progress is pain.
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