Nick Poff's Blog, page 3

Hometown Impressions

Sometimes it is hard for me to believe, but THE HANDYMAN series began with one short story I dashed off in the winter of 2005. It was entitled “Special Delivery,” and it was essentially a “meet cute” story about a lonely handyman who had a crush on the new mailman. Short. Sweet. Funny. I loved the characters so much they kept nagging me to write more. So I did, keeping in place the details I’d thrown into the mix on a whim. Thus, the town in the story (then called Pattonville, then Porterville, and finally Porterfield) was based on my own Hoosier hometown. I can’t recall why I set the story in 1980, aside from the fact that I thoroughly enjoy writing stories set in the past from a present perspective. Now, four books later (and number five on its way), the setting and the time frame are unmovable granite.

This being the case, I’ve looked to my hometown for further inspiration as the story has grown. Frankly, the books are full of little details movie fans call “Easter Eggs;” little things that only the hardcore fans see or hear. People familiar with me and my birthplace nod when they realize I didn’t bother to move the post office, the courthouse, or the library. The street names are different, but easy to figure out. Longtime local restaurants appear under different names. Penfield Manor, however, is a good deal harder, for the simple reason that I combined a Second Empire home on the main drag of that town with a Second Empire that was just down the street from where I lived when I first dreamed up Mrs. Penfield and her home. In addition to leaving those Easter Eggs for those in the know, it’s also great fun to take things and rearrange them for the fictional setting. (To my knowledge, no one has yet figured out why PORTERfield is located in STRATTON County, but someone will get it someday.)

When I revived the series earlier this year, I’d had ten years to think back on that town and comb it for memories that would work well for Ed’s story. Therefore, THE HANDYMAN’S HISTORY borrows a great deal from my earlier years and geography. That creepy cemetery, for example, is a carbon copy of one that is located in the exact same spot on a river bend in my hometown. It was, back in the day, deserted and spooky, and yes, as Ed and Laurie agree, very similar to the one on Dark Shadows. Once I decided to use that cemetery, I decided to recreate the whole neighborhood for Porterfield. There really was a flower shop and nursery next to the cemetery; Ed’s friend Steve works there as a delivery boy in 1968 Porterfield. In real time 1968, my brother had that job, and I used to love riding in the van with him. I had always had a fascination of sorts with that part of town — one of the oldest and most geographically diverse in town. So when it came time to plot out the fifth book in the series, THE HANDYMAN’S SUMMER, I found myself mentally walking those streets once again.

In the first chapter of the new book Ed and Rick are walking through this neighborhood in Porterfield. Ed remarks that his great aunt Marjorie lived there, and thus he spent some time there as a boy. In real life, my step grandmother (a genuine character who hasn’t made it into the story yet, but probably will someday as one of Ed’s clients) lived there. She lived on a street that dead ended at a railroad embankment one block north. The tracks cut through a wooded area and crossed the step bluffs of the river on a bridge that connected it to the main business district. This was quite a departure from the basic houses-on-a-grid-of-streets part of town where I lived. It was a good deal more picturesque, and perhaps even mysterious. I have a vague memory of a family gathering at Grandma’s when my cousin Bob (four years older) and I wandered down an almost vertical path under the rail bridge. Much to our discomfort we encountered a local gang of boys who were not happy to discover intruders on their turf. Bob and I beat it out of there, but the experience only intensified my fascination with the place.

I combined that location (which I renamed the Cooley Street dead end for Porterfield) with a fictional take on a local citizen who intrigued me as a kid to put together the beginning of the plot in THE HANDYMAN’S SUMMER. It became a story with a lot of unexpected characters and events, and writing it was an absolute joy as it developed in my imagination. I’m very pleased with the outcome, and I’m confident Ed’s fans will love this new adventure for the “cutest handyman in Porterfield, Indiana.”

By the way, when I borrow places, people, and locations from my hometown I’m using stuff from long ago. I suspect anyone traveling through there today would barely recognize it as the Porterfield they know from the books. Things change, sometimes for the better or the worse. I’ve always been one of those people with one foot mentally stuck in the past; for someone as anxiety-ridden as I am, it’s a comfort to reflect on events that have already played out and cannot be changed. And frankly, it’s a genuine pleasure to take the past and fictionalize it the way one sees fit.

THE HANDYMAN’S SUMMER should be coming your way next month. Stay tuned!

[image error]MY LITTLE TOWN SIMON AND GARFUNKEL 1975



My Little Town – Simon and Garfunkel LISTEN HERE

Secrets, Betrayal, and a Garden Club Scandal! Are You Ready for the Next Handyman Book?

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There are some unexpected things hidden in that house behind the greenery gone wild. Ed and Rick spend the better part of the summer of 1987 finding out what happened there a long time ago, and how it effects their lives in the present.

More to be revealed… later. THE HANDYMAN’S SUMMER is coming soon!

[image error]ARE YOU READY – PACIFIC GAS & ELECTRIC 1970 (Audio link below)



ARE YOU READY – PACIFIC GAS & ELECTRIC 1970

Queer Romance Ink

I just joined a forum for authors who primarily write gay fiction genre books. Here’s the link: https://www.queeromanceink.com/mbm-book-author/nick-poff/

I knew I had a lot of company when it came to writing stories for and about gay men, but I tell you, this place is the mother lode! If you enjoy my stuff, I am sure you’ll find some other books you’ll enjoy as well through this site. It’s also a great way to get a more detailed look at my books, as I’ve been pretty lazy about promoting them here. Yeah well…. you know…

You’ll find information on all of THE HANDYMAN books at Queer Romance Ink. I suggest you bookmark my blog here, and my page on the new site so you’ll get all the details about my forthcoming book, THE HANDYMAN’S SUMMER. I can’t wait for you to get a look at it, as I’m very, very pleased with it.

So stay tuned and stay linked to all the good stuff!

Doesn’t Jasper appear to be a quiet and thoughtful office assistant? Humph. THIS is after he’s parked himself in front of the computer screen in order to knock everything loose off my desk, AND after he’s stomped across the keyboard a few times, AND sniffed whatever is in my glass. Thank Christ I seem to have broken him of the habit of sticking his paw into them and tipping them over to spill. Cats!

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Cruelty and Kindness

I’ve heard repeatedly the last few days that this was a sorry week for the United States. I’ve also heard a good many pundits say, in regards to the current administration, its demented leader, the Republican party, and all those God-filled evangelicals who support it, that the cruelty is the point. After what I witnessed this week, I could not agree more. Our government has always exhibited a certain amount of cruelty toward the least of us, but I believe the current level of petty meanness is at a shamefully high point.

I am one of those people who might as well of hit the hospital delivery table with the word OUTSIDER etched on my forehead. I’ve never really fit in, and as a result I’ve been able to study conformity with a sharper and clearer eye than those who are comfortably within the boundaries of “acceptable.” Stuck with underdog status and the stigma of “otherness,” I’ve always supported my fellow underdogs and “others.” I remember when I really accepted my sexual orientation. My first thought was, “I’m already an outcast. Now I’ve got to cope with this, too?”

I think that compassion and empathy for folks who are shunned for their “otherness” comes through in a lot of my writing, and I certainly hope it does in the way I lead my life. I don’t know if the general theme of my upcoming book, THE HANDYMAN’S SUMMER, is coincidental to current events from the summer of 2019. I suspect the ugliness of a good many people that has been revealed in the past three years definitely had an influence on my thought process. You see, cruelty and kindness is the theme of this new book.

Those who are familiar with the HANDYMAN series will recall in the third book Mrs. Penfield’s gentle request to Ed and Rick that they take the good fortune they’ve had and use it to help men like them who are struggling. In this new book, set in the summer of 1987, the guys are finally put to the test on that request in several ways. By the end of the book, Ed finds himself reflecting on his work as a handyman being more than fixing plumbing fixtures and electrical cords. He realizes he cannot change closed minds and hearts, but he can do his best to repair the damage they create. Not a bad calling, he muses.

The events in THE HANDYMAN’S SUMMER will forever change the lives of Ed and Rick, mostly for the better. Whether intentional or not, a direct line can be drawn from those changes and discoveries in 1987 to the reality of our existence in 2019. I am looking forward to sharing this book with you later this year. No, it won’t repair any of the damage being done, but it will remind readers — and especially me — that as long as we continue to care, and we continue to cry over the horror, and continue to feel outrage at the atrocities of own government, we’ve got a fighting chance to make things better.

ONE TIN SOLDIER – COVEN – 1971 Do you remember the opening credits for the movie Billy Jack? I defy anyone to watch it today, see those horses being cruelly herded into captivity, and NOT think about the horrors and indignities our government is inflicting on good people who are simply trying to make a better life for their children.

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ONE TIN SOLDIER COVEN 1971

The Night the Lights Went Out In Porterfield

Remember when story songs were a staple of any given week of the country’s Top 40? Well, no, I know some of you are not old enough to remember that, but trust me, there was a time. And I’m sure you’ve heard some of them, such as Ode To Billie Joe (Bobby Gentry, 1967); Harper Valley PTA (Jeannie C. Riley, 1968); In The Year 2525 (Zager and Evans, 1969); The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia (Vicki Lawrence, 1973); Rocky (Austin Roberts, 1975). Stories songs peaked in 1974 — Billy, Don’t Be a Hero (Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods), The Night Chicago Died (Paper Lace), Dark Lady (Cher), Seasons in the Sun (Terry Jacks), The Streak (Ray Stevens), Cats In the Cradle (Harry Chapin), and Angie Baby (Helen Reddy) all went to number one on the charts.

Story songs are not great music or even great songs. Art fart types loathe them, which of course makes me love them even more. My favorite is the incredibly melodramatic Billy and Sue by B. J. Thomas from 1966. Early in the song, B. J. cautions: And yet Billy had to die / And when you hear of the reason why / You’ll hang your head and cry. And by God, the end of that record has been routinely choking me up, play after play, for over fifty years. I’ve included the audio of this record at the end of this blog. Please listen, but grab a hankie first.

I’m not sure why story songs eventually faded away. Burn out, I guess. Or perhaps it was the drop dead, campy — disco even! — turn by Barry Manilow with Copacabana that brought the curtain down. I don’t know. I do know, however, that as much as I, Nick, the 45 Freak, love story songs, the disc jockey Nick hates them. Once these records have their run on the charts they are marvelous once-in-a-while audio treats, but request callers at Oldies stations have a tendency to ask for them all the time. Every day. Sometimes twice in the same air shift. Uhhhh, no. I’ve worked at stations where requests of some of these records were expressly forbidden because of such overplay. About ten years ago, I was with my friend Scotty at the Oldies station he managed in Indianapolis. He showed me his highest rated songs, and most of them were story songs. “Can I really play ‘Ode To Billie Joe’ three times a day?” He asked me in despair. “No,” I told him, ” not unless it’s 1967 all over again.” Hmm. I think I just figured out why story songs fell out of favor.

Story songs have been on my mind the past few months. One story song, in fact, was one of the myriad inspirations for my forthcoming book. (No, it is not one of the ones listed above. You think I’m gonna give that much away this far away from publication??) I will tell you this much: In THE HANDYMAN’S SUMMER, Ed and Rick will learn about the night the lights went out in Porterfield. It’s a sad story, and it just might make you hang your head and cry. Well, crying is optional, but I’m convinced you will enjoy the book. If the comments from my line editor mean anything, I believe this could be the book that takes the guys to an even larger audience. We’ll see…

Meanwhile, it’s summer, and the livin’ is supposed to be easy. Relax and enjoy your personal summertime routines, and I promise, when the weather turns cold again, you’ll have a “Summer” book to read for warmth.

BILLY AND SUE B.J. THOMAS & THE TRIUMPHS 1966 This one barely scraped into the Top 40 in the summer of ’66. I’m not sure how a 45 of it ended up in my siblings’ 45 collection, but I managed to wear it out over the years. I had to order a replacement copy of the original from a Collectors’ store some years back.

Sit Down and Shut Up, You Ungrateful ‘Mos

Well, it’s July first. Pride month and the fiftieth anniversary of the Stonewall uprising are behind us. I was too distracted with the manuscript for my new book to pay much attention, other than my enjoyment of a few feel-good stories on Facebook, and noticing how Judy Garland was constantly popping up on my You Tube home page. Atlantic magazine online ran an interesting series of articles and essays last week, which I read with pleasure until the last one, which made me, as they say, throw up in my mouth. Just a little.

The piece was written by a gentleman by the name of James Kirchick, a “visiting fellow at The Brookings Institute,” essentially one of those cocooned academics who base their opinions on numbers and conservative cant. He opined that gay folks had achieved all the rights they needed and it was time to take our pride flags, go home, and enjoy our victory. His writing style and barely concealed impatience with those still fighting for equality reminded me much of Andrew Sullivan, another right-wing gay man I’d dearly love to slap silly. Mr. Sullivan has been on my shit list since the time I saw him on television after the passage of the Trump Tax Jackpot for the 1%, waving his hand in dismissal, saying we ungrateful peons in the flyover states had nothing to bitch about because the economy had recovered. Yeah, you pompous twit? I thought at the time. Until you pay my bills on my income and have the guts to actually set foot in a red state you need to go on Ebay and buy a fucking clue.

I will grant Mr. Kirchick a few things. Yes, LGBT folks have come a long, long way since the summer of 1969. We have achieved some rights and some acceptance. However, to say the fight is over seems to me the same kind of logic as leaving the theater ten minutes before the end of the movie because you’ve seen enough.

Mr. Kirchick’s obvious embrace of the current administration is appalling and incredibly disingenuous considering the massive rollbacks on LGBT rights and protections in the past two and a half years. He also wiped the orange makeup off his mouth — acquired through his fervent Trump ass-kissing — to shake his head in amusement at Mike Pence, rendering him as nothing more than a figure of fun. Well, that he is, but he is controlled by some very dangerous people. I can only assume Mr. Kirchick was holed up in some comfy wood-paneled library in the spring of 2015, engrossed in statistics of some sort. This Hoosier remembers well the smiles of triumph on the faces of Pence and his religious hatchet squad when he signed RFRA behind closed doors.

Oh, and to rub additional salt in the wounds of those of us with our homosexual boots firmly in the muddy trenches, he wrote that since the majority of gay folks live in the states where they are, for the most part, considered first class citizens, there was no longer a need to fight. That made me so angry I’ve decided to share a story I’ve pretty much kept to myself the past seven months, my termination from a job I excelled at for almost five years.

One sunny morning last November I was fired for saying the word “masturbate.” I said it in conversation with a coworker I’d been close to for almost five years. We’d teased and poked fun at each other. We had assured each other the filter was off in our encounters. She never bothered to tell me the M Word was off limits. I was fired an hour and half later, and suddenly walking to my car with a cardboard box of my possessions.

My lawyer told me to consult an employment lawyer, a nice guy who told me I was screwed because: 1) This is Indiana; 2) I’m gay; 3) This is a Right To Work state; 4) I have the misfortune of living in NORTHEAST Indiana, a rabidly conservative and backwards place.

The fallout from that experience has been pervasive and destructive, to say the least. I can only imagine what Mr. Kirchick (or Mr. toffee-nosed Sullivan for that matter) would say in regards to my experience. Probably something from the Corporate Gaslight manual: “You should be grateful because this is a positive opportunity for growth.” I’m 57 fucking years old. The only growth I seem to acquire these days is all in my gut.

I will never understand the logic of gay conservatives, gay republicans, or gay stooges for The Orange Outhouse, ablaze with dedicated fire for those sly slicksters who wish to thank them for their devotion with their destruction. Mr. Kirchick’s piece is another example of a conservative leading me, blindfolded, over a cliff. I don’t buy it, buster, and frankly I am still insulted and outraged that you even expect me to swallow your shit.

So, Mr. Kirchick, allow me to put this in the language of those of us in the wilderness of the flyover states: “Fuck you, dude.” Until you get your three hundred dollar shoes dirty with red state dirt, you just keep snorting your statistical bath salts, and please do keep your revelations to yourself. We red state second class citizens aren’t done, and we don’t need your help.

Oh, and Mr. Kirchick, congratulations on being added to one of my special lists along with Mr. Sullivan, Milo Yiannopoulos, the Log Cabin Republicans, a former boyfriend of mine, and that jackass gay fetus-freak Republican running to unseat my current city councilman. May you all be on the first cattle car in route to the American Auschwitz organized and operated by your heroes. Oh, and by the way, if I am in that same cattle car, trust me, you won’t make it there alive.

SAVE THE COUNTRY THE SUGAR SHOPPE 1969 I wanted to end this on a positive note with something uplifting from the summer of ’69. This is one of the many covers of the Laura Nyro song, and one of the many non-hits of Laura Nyro covers. Still, it may be white people candy music, but it has a nice arrangement and production, and it doesn’t mess with Laura’s message. Listen, enjoy, and keep fighting!

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SAVE THE COUNTRY THE SUGAR SHOPPE 1969

The Handyman’s Summer

Whew! As of 12:40 PM, Saturday, June 22, 2019, the manuscript for my latest novel, THE HANDYMAN’S SUMMER is complete. (I wanted to finish on the first official day of summer, but I couldn’t quite make it.)

So! That’s the good news. The words are in place. Now I have to make sure they’re in the right order, the commas are inserted where they need to be, etc. Bottom line: You will NOT be reading this book in the near future, but you can rest assured there is, at least, a book to READ.

Stay tuned, and be patient. Now that we are into summer 2019, I promise to provide occasional hints as to what Ed and Rick were up to in the summer of 1987.

SUMMER MEANS FUN BRUCE AND TERRY 1964 When it comes to pop songs, it’s about the illusion of summer. Know what I mean? This lesser known surf fave is a perfect example. Listen, enjoy, and have the kind of summer you want!

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SUMMER MEANS FUN BRUCE AND TERRY

HANDYMAN #5

Here is what I hope is good news to kick off the holiday weekend: The next HANDYMAN book is now officially a work in progress. I’m off to a later start than I had hoped, but I’m pleased with the wordage I’ve committed so far to the thumb drive. What’s it about? Hints? Hmm… well, let me ask you this: What were YOU doing in the summer of 1987? It turned out to be a busy time for our man Ed.

While I am at it, don’t forget I’ll be in Milwaukee a week from tomorrow, June 1, at Outwords Books with David Pratt, and I’ll be heading due north to Lansing on June 8 to join three other bright and wonderful authors for an event at Everybody Reads Books. C’mon out! I may even drop another hint or two about the new book.

http://www.outwordsbooks.com

https://lansingdowntown.com/Everybody-Reads-Bookstore

HEART AND SOUL T’PAU 1987 Here is one of my fave 45’s from the summer of ’87.

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HEART AND SOUL T’PAU 1987

Look Out, Lansing!

I will be joining authors David Pratt and Brigham Vaughn for a book reading event at Everybody Reads bookstore in Lansing, Michigan on June 8, 2 PM. Hope to see you there! REMINDER: Saturday, June 1, David Pratt and I will be at Outwords Books in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. See earlier blog for details.

https://lansingdowntown.com/Everybody-Reads-Bookstore

I’M ON THE ROAD PARTRIDGE FAMILY 1970 (LP TRACK) Say what you will about The Partridge Family; Columbia Screen Gems put together the best pop song writers and producers for their music. A LOT of great recordings have been overlooked because of the stigma of packaged TV show music. This particular song is my favorite from their first album, and notable because it is entirely performed by the studio singers selected to be the “voices” of The Partridge Family.

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I’m On The Road – The Partridge Family

You Spin Me ‘Round (Like A Carnival Ride)

I’m a carnival ride geek. Always have been. The sad news, however, is the fact that as I get older I can no longer ride them. An experience my body once enjoyed as “spin and grin” has become “whirl and puke.” What a drag. Still, thanks to You Tube and all the other ride geeks out there who share their ride videos I can still watch and enjoy.

One of my earlier carnival memories is my first ride on the Scrambler. This took place at the Wells County 4-H Fair in the summer of 1968. My babysitter, Joyce, took me and the neighbor kids out to the carnival. I don’t recall if riding the Scrambler was her idea or mine, but to say I loved it would be an understatement. My father had died at the beginning of the summer, and that ride was the first time after that I experienced unbridled joy. I was hooked for life. The Scrambler is still my all-time favorite ride.

[image error]The coolest flat ride ever — The Scrambler!

We had carnivals in my town twice a year — the 4-H Fair and the annual downtown Street Fair, so for two blissful weeks of the year I lived in ride heaven. There are not many flat rides I dislike, however there are those I love more than others. I cannot recall if the Tempest first showed up at Street Fair in 1969 and or 1970, but I’ve been mad about that one ever since. The ride itself is just plan liberating fun, and I’ve always loved those bright late sixties colors and lighting.

[image error]The glorious gaudy Tempest!

In the category of what we as kids called “upside down rides,” I have a strange fondness for the Loop-O-Planes despite the fact that riding backwards always makes me nauseous. My fave scary ride monster, though, is the Sky Diver. I suspect I like it much more than, say, The Zipper, because of that magical steering wheel in the car that allows you to spin as much or as little as you want. Some of the happiest shouts I’ve ever uttered occurred on The Sky Diver.

[image error]The granddaddy of the flat rides – The Sky Diver!

Now, if you’ve read my latest novel, THE HANDYMAN’S HISTORY, you are probably nodding. Yeah, I saddled the hero, Ed Stephens, with my fascination with carnival rides. I do not recall how the idea first came together in my mind, but at some point I decided to give Porterfield its own version of Street Fair, and from there it was a short step to dragging Ed into the event, and an opportunity to geek out in my writing about something I enjoy. And believe me, for those who have read the book, I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed creating Ed’s favorite Sky Diver memory! It’s one of my favorite parts of the book.

And for readers of THE HANDYMAN’S REALITY it will comes as no surprise to discover my favorite amusement park is Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. My first visit there was in that same summer of 1968. I loved it at first glance and have ever since. There’s something delightfully magical about that place, and a big added bonus for me is its geography. Thanks to the fact that it’s surrounded by the water of Lake Erie, being there gave me a day free of hay fever, something from which I suffered horribly until middle age.

The sad thing is, when I think about this stuff I am so glad the HANDYMAN books take place (so far) in the twentieth century. As I mentioned, my aged body refuses to deal with spinning and G-forces the way it used to, so I have been rendered an observer as opposed to a participant. However, a lot of stuff I’ve seen and read lately has alleviated my sorrow over this. I read one blog from a young guy in which he describes a ride on the Sky Diver, and ends by writing that he doubts he would ever ride it. What a wuss! Plus, I’ve noticed the younger set, who have been safely coddled since their days in car seats, seem overly concerned with safety and comfort on rides. Again, this sixties baby can only roll his eyes and shrug. Shoot, the menace of those contraptions, usually run by guys who looked like prison escapees, was part of the fun!

As I write this, I feel the wistfulness settling on me. Things have changed where carnivals and amusement parks are concerned. What prompted me to write this were several videos I watched on You Tube regarding Cedar Point. It seems they are in the process of transforming my beloved Point from an amusement part into a “family resort.” As such, there’s less emphasis on flat rides and more on other activities. Apparently they are even adding an “interactive” experience in Frontier Town, which sounds boring as hell to me, but will probably be as wonderful for today’s children as the first ride on the Blue Streak was for me. In addition, all the stories I’ve read about people losing their phones on roller coasters has led to Cedar Point implementing pouches under the seats of Steel Vengeance for riders to secure their phones — mind you, AFTER they pass through a metal detector in line! Well, I’m an old fart, so I cannot imagine being so attached to my phone that I would do anything other than leave it in the car. I remember after my friend and Tim and I got the car parked, we’d slap on a layer of sunscreen, stuff a wad of cash in a pocket for food and drinks, and take off for the day. The less baggage the better, baby, for a day of riding one roller coaster (and the occasional flat ride) after another.

I also noticed in their zeal to revamp the park the Powers That Be saw fit to remove The Witch’s Wheel and replace it with a barbecue restaurant. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? The Witch’s Wheel was one of the coolest rides ever! Not only is the ride gone, but all the old-growth trees surrounding it were chopped down, eliminating the last patch of shade on the Gemini midway. (I also have heard rumors the Gemini, the grooviest coaster in the world in 1978, is scheduled for demolition.) Well, I managed to forgive Management when they dynamited the Space Spiral, but ripping out the Witch’s Wheel? Doing away with Gemini? They have just gone too far.

Things have changed. Times have changed. The one constant in life is Change. So many of the things I used to enjoy have disappeared, leaving just the memories. Well, memories last, as the song I am about to post says. I am grateful for those memories, and equally grateful for you, dear readers, for allowing me to share those memories through my novels.

COME RIDE, COME RIDE — THE MERRY-GO-ROUND 1968. I’ve posted this record previously; it was the main theme for my latest novel THE HANDYMAN’S HISTORY. Still, I can’t think of a better record for this blog, so rather than post something second-rate, I urge you to listen (audio link below) to this amazing NON-HIT from Emitt Rhodes.

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COME RIDE, COME RIDE