Isabelle Rowan's Blog, page 3
July 30, 2011
My new book!
I've signed the contract for a novel length version of my short story 'Ink: The Tale of a Vampire in Melbourne'.
I can't wait to see what Dreamspinner Press come up with for the cover art! As soon as i get it I'll post it here!
I can't wait to see what Dreamspinner Press come up with for the cover art! As soon as i get it I'll post it here!
February 23, 2011
Of floods and things
It has been too long since I updated! The reasons are numerous - first of all I was knocked flat by a kidney infection. I am used to getting them, but this one was a shocker and meant a bit of time off work. Another reason that hurt even more was the floods in Victoria. My home was safe and dry, but work was another story. 65% of my school was damaged so that 4 weeks into the new school year and we have only just got all the students back.
Some classrooms are still out of action.
Now... that wasn't bad enough, but guess what I had in the bottom drawer of my filing cabinet?
Laptop? Yep - but it survived.
Notebook with my writing update? Yep - did not survive. A mess of soggy paper. I lost all but the next chapter of my Margins based fic and quite a few chapters of 2 other WIPs. However, if that is all i lost it is no big deal! The chapter I have will be posted very soon and hey, I start again on the others. I can do that!
Some classrooms are still out of action.
Now... that wasn't bad enough, but guess what I had in the bottom drawer of my filing cabinet?
Laptop? Yep - but it survived.
Notebook with my writing update? Yep - did not survive. A mess of soggy paper. I lost all but the next chapter of my Margins based fic and quite a few chapters of 2 other WIPs. However, if that is all i lost it is no big deal! The chapter I have will be posted very soon and hey, I start again on the others. I can do that!
December 28, 2010
A Margin's Christmas Tale - Days Nine, eight and seven
The next installment - didn't make it for Christmas, but hopefully you will still enjoy the next 3 days:
Nine days...
"So are you ready for Christmas?" In any other circumstance the question might have referred to ploughing through Christmas card lists, wrapping presents or finding that perfect turkey, but the question was directed at David and that changed everything. Barbara sat and watched as he stared at his hands not sure how he would deal with it. She had been counselling David for many months now and knew he wouldn't lie to her, but during his time on the streets he'd mastered the art of avoidance and silence. Today it looked like it would be the latter.
Barbara waited and it was only when it became obvious he wasn't going to answer that she prompted gently. "David?"
He looked up briefly then shrugged. The silence went on a little longer until he shook his head and gave a quiet, "I don't know."
The question had been a big one and Barbara knew how loaded it was for someone like David. "I think I can relate to that," she said softly. "Are you still coming in to the shelter to help Christmas Eve? I know Jamie seemed very keen although I have my suspicions it's more to see Brian than peel potatoes."
David chuckled and allowed his body language to relax a little once they hit a safe topic of conversation. "John is closing early. He said people need to get home at a reasonable time, so we can come in then."
"John said that did he?" Barbara grinned, eyes wide in mock surprise.
David nodded. "I think he's looking forward to it all even though he'd never admit it."
"You've been good for him," Barbara said and turned away on the pretence of fetching the cookie jar, but more to give David the breathing space to process and accept what she said. She held the jar out to David and watched while he took it and set it on the table next to his mug. Barbara saw this with a lot of the men in the shelter; sate immediate hunger then put food aside for later when a free meal might not be on offer. Old habits die hard.
"What do you have planned for the rest of the day?" Barbara asked casually even though nothing in these sessions was a simple conversation starter.
David frowned, but only to organise his thoughts; he'd been 'scattered' lately and needed to concentrate to find his focus. "Not sure." A long pause... "I have a picture to draw for Jamie, for the store then I'm not sure."
"What's the picture of?"
"Mr Toad I think," David answered and wasn't going to add anything else until he saw the quizzical expression Barbara gave him. "I've being drawing a picture each day for Christmas."
"Like an advent calendar?" she asked and when David nodded she added. "Is Wind in the Willows a favorite?"
"I liked it as a kid, but it's more for Jamie," David explained without going into details.
"Uh huh," Barbara nodded understanding that that was all she was going to get on that topic. "Grab another cookie David that way you can have one now and save one for later. Actually you better take two so you can share it with Jamie; I sometimes think he can sniff them out, especially when they have chocolate chips."
David dutifully took the cookies and shoved them in his pack still not touching the one by his mug. It was easy to see he was preoccupied as he sat staring at the conjoined rings from long gone coffee mugs staining the old table; shoulders hunched and hands folded in his lap.
"Do you have any family Barbara?"
The question seemed to come out of the blue and took Barbara by surprise. She looked across the table directly into David's pale gray eyes. Talking about herself was usually out of bounds in the shelter, but for some reason Barbara felt that David deserved an answer. "Not anymore," she replied quietly. "I lost my only son to drugs and the street a long time ago."
~*~
"How did it go with Barbara today?" John asked handing David a newly washed plate.
"Okay," David shrugged and wiped it with the tea towel.
"Just okay?" John pushed willing to let it go, but learning that occasionally David needed an 'out' to express himself.
"She told me that her son had been on the streets... maybe still is. I dunno."
John dropped a bundle of cutlery in the dish rack and turned to David. "I figured it was something like that, but I didn't like to ask. She doesn't know where he is?"
David shook his head. "Said she lost him."
"Shit," John commented quietly and pulled the plug from the sink giving it a rinse as the last of the suds swirled down the drain.
"Yeah," David whispered and draped the damp towel over the rack before leaning against John's back, chin tucked over his shoulder. John pulled David's arms around him and they just stood in silence. For all David's struggles, in these quiet moments neither needed to speak because both knew they had each other.
Eight Days...
David had retreated to his chair to work on that day's drawing. He'd started it the night before, but something wasn't right; it was too dark, too much clutter and everything he added seemed to make it worse. David's fingers smudged over the image dragging the gray carbon in an ugly smear. He looked from the sketchbook to his fingers; the lead from the pencil dirtied his fingertips and left the frayed skin at the side of his nail edged with black. The sight made David's heart thump a little harder and he needed to look away.
A young mother led two small children over to the Christmas and pointed to a wooden rocking horse hanging on a low branch. She glanced furtively over her should to check on the man pushing a selection of books across the counter; they exchanged a quick smile before she needed another distraction for their children. It was difficult to watch and David returned to dragging his pencil over his drawing.
"Is this today's?" Jamie asked quietly knowing that David could be too engrossed in his sketch to have noticed his approach. Actually engrossed wasn't the right word having witnessed the frown lines scarring David's face and the erratic movements of his pencil.
David stopped. He half covered the image then sat very still. His eyes remained on the sketchbook so that it was only that sudden stillness that acknowledged Jamie's question.
"You don't have to do one today if you're not in the mood," Jamie suggested and sat slowly on the empty chair next to his friend being careful not to spill the two mugs of coffee he'd brought as his pretence for the visit. "How about you leave the picture for now and have a drink with me? John is being a miserable bastard and I want someone to talk to."
David glanced at the offered mug, but made no move to take it.
"Come on Davey," Jamie insisted gently. "We're not going back to this are we?"
After a few seconds of indecision David's eyes moved up to meet Jamie's. Their focus changed and the pale eyes saw the young man smiling at him. "Thank you," he muttered and took the mug a little awkwardly, not quite sure what to do with the pencil still clutched in his fingers.
Without comment Jamie took the pencil and lifted the sketchbook to place them both on the floor next to David's boots. "They're just here," Jamie pointed out when he saw the almost imperceptible flinch.
The pair sat in silence for several minutes until Jamie said, "They won't mind you know?"
A look of confusion crossed David's features so Jamie continued, "The kids won't mind if you need to stop." He smiled, but there was no smile returned.
"I can't get it right," David muttered.
"You don't always have to Davey; some days things don't seem to come together like others."
David nodded, but wasn't really convinced.
"Can you tell me what's up today?" Jamie asked even though he knew it wasn't just 'today'.
"I..." David stopped and took a breath. He needed to slow things down and then answer. Focussing on the dark smudges on his fingers, noticing how they ingrained the swirls of his fingerprints with carbon not grime David said slowly, "I should be with Adam at Christmas, but I can't." He looked up to watch the family wander out of the store with the newly purchased books hidden in a plain shopping bag. It was how it should be.
Jamie understood there was little he could say to ease David's mind so he simply closed his hand over David's gave it a squeeze.
Seven days...
John had already gone down to open the store ready for another day of cheery Christmas shoppers with lists in hand mixed with the few who clearly had no idea how to tackle present buying. The latter John always guided into Jamie's capable hands. So when the phone chimed another text message it seemed to boom throughout the silent upstairs apartment.
David stared at the cel phone. It was just a small innocuous piece of technology, but at that moment it threatened to unravel everything that David had achieved over the past few months. Tempted to simply turn it off David reached out to the nightstand only to withdraw his hand before he touched it.
He'd not returned Adam's last call and now there was a text. David rubbed wearily at his eyes trying hard to hold onto some semblance of control.
It shouldn't be this hard. You know how to do this. The thoughts circled round and round in his head clutching at all the coping mechanisms he'd been taught. With a concentrated effort David slowed his breathing and unclenched his fingers. Just a message, words on a screen. Another breath. He settled on the logo first taking in the tiny sweep of letters then broadened his vision still trying to ignore the demands of the flashing red light. Just a message... David's fingertips tingled as the adrenaline coursing through his body refused to dissipate. He could feel his anger growing along with his anxiety. Anger at himself, not the son who was trying to reach out to him.
He sat on the edge of the bed to rest his forearms on his thighs. With slow steady breaths David stared at his bare toes curled into the carpet. He concentrated on relaxing them, letting them straighten so he could see that they were clean. There was no dirt lodged between his toes or ingrained along his nails... the skin was smooth and without calluses caused by old boots and no socks. David's breathing eased. This is your life now... and Adam should be part of it. He knew that was true and desperately wanting his son in his life... Adam was part of his life, so why was it so hard now?
Nine days...
"So are you ready for Christmas?" In any other circumstance the question might have referred to ploughing through Christmas card lists, wrapping presents or finding that perfect turkey, but the question was directed at David and that changed everything. Barbara sat and watched as he stared at his hands not sure how he would deal with it. She had been counselling David for many months now and knew he wouldn't lie to her, but during his time on the streets he'd mastered the art of avoidance and silence. Today it looked like it would be the latter.
Barbara waited and it was only when it became obvious he wasn't going to answer that she prompted gently. "David?"
He looked up briefly then shrugged. The silence went on a little longer until he shook his head and gave a quiet, "I don't know."
The question had been a big one and Barbara knew how loaded it was for someone like David. "I think I can relate to that," she said softly. "Are you still coming in to the shelter to help Christmas Eve? I know Jamie seemed very keen although I have my suspicions it's more to see Brian than peel potatoes."
David chuckled and allowed his body language to relax a little once they hit a safe topic of conversation. "John is closing early. He said people need to get home at a reasonable time, so we can come in then."
"John said that did he?" Barbara grinned, eyes wide in mock surprise.
David nodded. "I think he's looking forward to it all even though he'd never admit it."
"You've been good for him," Barbara said and turned away on the pretence of fetching the cookie jar, but more to give David the breathing space to process and accept what she said. She held the jar out to David and watched while he took it and set it on the table next to his mug. Barbara saw this with a lot of the men in the shelter; sate immediate hunger then put food aside for later when a free meal might not be on offer. Old habits die hard.
"What do you have planned for the rest of the day?" Barbara asked casually even though nothing in these sessions was a simple conversation starter.
David frowned, but only to organise his thoughts; he'd been 'scattered' lately and needed to concentrate to find his focus. "Not sure." A long pause... "I have a picture to draw for Jamie, for the store then I'm not sure."
"What's the picture of?"
"Mr Toad I think," David answered and wasn't going to add anything else until he saw the quizzical expression Barbara gave him. "I've being drawing a picture each day for Christmas."
"Like an advent calendar?" she asked and when David nodded she added. "Is Wind in the Willows a favorite?"
"I liked it as a kid, but it's more for Jamie," David explained without going into details.
"Uh huh," Barbara nodded understanding that that was all she was going to get on that topic. "Grab another cookie David that way you can have one now and save one for later. Actually you better take two so you can share it with Jamie; I sometimes think he can sniff them out, especially when they have chocolate chips."
David dutifully took the cookies and shoved them in his pack still not touching the one by his mug. It was easy to see he was preoccupied as he sat staring at the conjoined rings from long gone coffee mugs staining the old table; shoulders hunched and hands folded in his lap.
"Do you have any family Barbara?"
The question seemed to come out of the blue and took Barbara by surprise. She looked across the table directly into David's pale gray eyes. Talking about herself was usually out of bounds in the shelter, but for some reason Barbara felt that David deserved an answer. "Not anymore," she replied quietly. "I lost my only son to drugs and the street a long time ago."
~*~
"How did it go with Barbara today?" John asked handing David a newly washed plate.
"Okay," David shrugged and wiped it with the tea towel.
"Just okay?" John pushed willing to let it go, but learning that occasionally David needed an 'out' to express himself.
"She told me that her son had been on the streets... maybe still is. I dunno."
John dropped a bundle of cutlery in the dish rack and turned to David. "I figured it was something like that, but I didn't like to ask. She doesn't know where he is?"
David shook his head. "Said she lost him."
"Shit," John commented quietly and pulled the plug from the sink giving it a rinse as the last of the suds swirled down the drain.
"Yeah," David whispered and draped the damp towel over the rack before leaning against John's back, chin tucked over his shoulder. John pulled David's arms around him and they just stood in silence. For all David's struggles, in these quiet moments neither needed to speak because both knew they had each other.
Eight Days...
David had retreated to his chair to work on that day's drawing. He'd started it the night before, but something wasn't right; it was too dark, too much clutter and everything he added seemed to make it worse. David's fingers smudged over the image dragging the gray carbon in an ugly smear. He looked from the sketchbook to his fingers; the lead from the pencil dirtied his fingertips and left the frayed skin at the side of his nail edged with black. The sight made David's heart thump a little harder and he needed to look away.
A young mother led two small children over to the Christmas and pointed to a wooden rocking horse hanging on a low branch. She glanced furtively over her should to check on the man pushing a selection of books across the counter; they exchanged a quick smile before she needed another distraction for their children. It was difficult to watch and David returned to dragging his pencil over his drawing.
"Is this today's?" Jamie asked quietly knowing that David could be too engrossed in his sketch to have noticed his approach. Actually engrossed wasn't the right word having witnessed the frown lines scarring David's face and the erratic movements of his pencil.
David stopped. He half covered the image then sat very still. His eyes remained on the sketchbook so that it was only that sudden stillness that acknowledged Jamie's question.
"You don't have to do one today if you're not in the mood," Jamie suggested and sat slowly on the empty chair next to his friend being careful not to spill the two mugs of coffee he'd brought as his pretence for the visit. "How about you leave the picture for now and have a drink with me? John is being a miserable bastard and I want someone to talk to."
David glanced at the offered mug, but made no move to take it.
"Come on Davey," Jamie insisted gently. "We're not going back to this are we?"
After a few seconds of indecision David's eyes moved up to meet Jamie's. Their focus changed and the pale eyes saw the young man smiling at him. "Thank you," he muttered and took the mug a little awkwardly, not quite sure what to do with the pencil still clutched in his fingers.
Without comment Jamie took the pencil and lifted the sketchbook to place them both on the floor next to David's boots. "They're just here," Jamie pointed out when he saw the almost imperceptible flinch.
The pair sat in silence for several minutes until Jamie said, "They won't mind you know?"
A look of confusion crossed David's features so Jamie continued, "The kids won't mind if you need to stop." He smiled, but there was no smile returned.
"I can't get it right," David muttered.
"You don't always have to Davey; some days things don't seem to come together like others."
David nodded, but wasn't really convinced.
"Can you tell me what's up today?" Jamie asked even though he knew it wasn't just 'today'.
"I..." David stopped and took a breath. He needed to slow things down and then answer. Focussing on the dark smudges on his fingers, noticing how they ingrained the swirls of his fingerprints with carbon not grime David said slowly, "I should be with Adam at Christmas, but I can't." He looked up to watch the family wander out of the store with the newly purchased books hidden in a plain shopping bag. It was how it should be.
Jamie understood there was little he could say to ease David's mind so he simply closed his hand over David's gave it a squeeze.
Seven days...
John had already gone down to open the store ready for another day of cheery Christmas shoppers with lists in hand mixed with the few who clearly had no idea how to tackle present buying. The latter John always guided into Jamie's capable hands. So when the phone chimed another text message it seemed to boom throughout the silent upstairs apartment.
David stared at the cel phone. It was just a small innocuous piece of technology, but at that moment it threatened to unravel everything that David had achieved over the past few months. Tempted to simply turn it off David reached out to the nightstand only to withdraw his hand before he touched it.
He'd not returned Adam's last call and now there was a text. David rubbed wearily at his eyes trying hard to hold onto some semblance of control.
It shouldn't be this hard. You know how to do this. The thoughts circled round and round in his head clutching at all the coping mechanisms he'd been taught. With a concentrated effort David slowed his breathing and unclenched his fingers. Just a message, words on a screen. Another breath. He settled on the logo first taking in the tiny sweep of letters then broadened his vision still trying to ignore the demands of the flashing red light. Just a message... David's fingertips tingled as the adrenaline coursing through his body refused to dissipate. He could feel his anger growing along with his anxiety. Anger at himself, not the son who was trying to reach out to him.
He sat on the edge of the bed to rest his forearms on his thighs. With slow steady breaths David stared at his bare toes curled into the carpet. He concentrated on relaxing them, letting them straighten so he could see that they were clean. There was no dirt lodged between his toes or ingrained along his nails... the skin was smooth and without calluses caused by old boots and no socks. David's breathing eased. This is your life now... and Adam should be part of it. He knew that was true and desperately wanting his son in his life... Adam was part of his life, so why was it so hard now?
December 18, 2010
A Margins Christmas - Days 11 and 10
Christmas in Australia is very different to what many readers will experience, so I have included a few links at the end of this tale to help explain. I hope you enjoy the next two days.
Eleven days...
John leaned against the counter and watched as Jamie bustled around with the afternoon intake of mothers and children. Each one needed to see the tree and cut a paper snowflake to hang from the strings criss-crossing the store to flutter in the breeze of the air-conditioner. Christmas in Australia always seemed slightly wrong to John. Sweltering in the height of summer while spraying fake snow on your window never made much sense; yet there was the tree adorned with its traditional trappings and the growing collection Christmas cards depicting roaring fireplaces and happy children waving from horse drawn sleighs. "We're all bloody mad," he muttered trying to scowl, but his smile got in the way.
"He loves all this stuff," David said quietly at John's side.
John hadn't realised he'd been caught watching Jamie's antics and chuckled, "He loves anything that gets him out of real work."
David knew John was putting on his grumpy boss persona and actually adored the young man currently stretching a new piece of string across the window.
"Is today's calendar page ready?" John asked turning to David.
"Uh huh," David mumbled and leaned over the counter to pull out the large piece of card, but wouldn't let John open the shutters when he tried to reach for it. "I think Jamie would like to do it with the kids," he said apologetically.
John smiled and stroked his hand down David's arm. "You're right. We'll enjoy that too. Why don't you go and give it to him while he has all those rugrats in tow?"
With a quiet 'sure' David made his way through the children hanging their snowflakes and stood patiently until Jamie spotted the card. "Davey!" he exclaimed and grabbed his sleeve to drag him over.
"Hey guys," Jamie said happily to both mums and kids. "David has our next window ready."
~*~
Jamie stood and looked at the vacuum cleaner. "You know, if we don't clean up the paper clippings it would look like snow after a few days," he suggested hopefully.
"Not a chance," John said as he walked past to lock the front door. "But it was definitely a good try Jamie."
David gave a quiet giggle and lifted one of the displays in. Jamie got as far as plugging in the vacuum then wandered over to David. "I liked your picture today," he said and pulled himself up to sit on the counter and looked across to the patch of wall that displayed a scene from Wind in the Willows. "Why did you choose that particular part though? Usually it's all Mr Toad in his car with goggles over his bug eyes and scarf flying behind him."
David glanced up at the image of Badger's den bathed in the warm red glow of the fireplace. Badger was deep in conversation with Ratty and Mole was curled up asleep in an armchair with his head lying comfortably on the armrest. When he gave a shrug Jamie leaned forward arms resting on his knees and mused, "Bit like us I guess. John would have to be grumpy old Badger."
"Don't tell him that," David said, but was enjoying the image of John in a quilted smoking jacket glowering at them over tiny round reading glasses.
Jamie grinned and pointed to the sleeping figure in the armchair. "So you would be Mole?"
"Yeah I guess," David said quietly thinking back to when his mum used to read him tales of the riverbank before he fell asleep. "I remember Mole left his little hole to look for adventure, but he wasn't all that brave."
"And found a whole new family of friends," Jamie added quickly. "I always wanted to be Mr Toad off on wild adventures without a care in the world, but it never quite happened that way."
"Doesn't mean it won't happen," David suggested.
"I'm not that brave," he admitted saying out loud something he'd been thinking for a long time.
The admission surprised David; that was not something he'd even considered about Jamie. "What makes you think you're not brave?"
With a sigh and shrug Jamie glanced around the bookstore that had been his home for most of his life. "This is all I know. Never really had a reason to look elsewhere I guess."
There was an undercurrent to the words that David felt rather than heard and he moved enough to be in Jamie's line of vision again. "One day you'll find that reason," he said with a hint of a smile.
Jamie could never resist smiling back. "Maybe I will, but not yet," he said while pulling a disgusted face. "But not before I finish vacuuming the floor."
~*~
Ten days...
"I'll never get used to this heat," John groaned as he stood in front of the air-conditioner with his shirt lifted to expose his belly to the chilled air. "How can you even consider Christmas in these temperatures?"
David leaned back on the couch and grinned. "I thought you'd be used to it by now."
But John just turned and gave David a look that made him laugh. "Oh that's right," David quipped still chuckling. "You lived the rarified life of an executive; air-conditioned office, air-conditioned car and home to an air-conditioned apartment. Did you ever breathe real air?"
With a mock growl John stalked over to the couch and flopped down. "Maybe I should just sit here and sweat all over you?"
"Poor John," David giggled and reached out to touch his hand before standing up. "I'll get you a cold drink."
"Thanks," John muttered and watched David head for the kitchen. It never grew old hearing David laugh. He sighed and closed his eyes as the cold air became almost icy against his sweat dampened skin.
"Christmas was always a time for wellington boots, woolly socks and hand knitted mittens, not barbeques and sweltering at the beach."
David smiled because it was all too easy to imagine John in those mittens. "Tell me about when you were little," he asked quietly while pouring a single cold beer.
"I remember waking up one morning and looking out the window at the house across the road," John smiled at the memory opening his eyes briefly when David placed his beer on the coffee table. "The roof was all white. It was the first snow of winter just before Christmas." He sat forward, picked up the frosty glass and took an appreciative sip. "My mam was still alive then so I was pretty young but I still managed to force the window up a fraction... just enough to get my hands out. I ran my fingers through the snow on the windowsill feeling it slip between them until they were completely numb." John's fingers followed the trail of condensation down his glass then passed it to David. "At the time I found it really funny and I was still laughing when I ran down the stairs and out the back door. It wasn't so funny when my mam found me out there barefoot and in my pyjamas. I ended up with a sore backside and in a hot bath." He looked at David and thought about the night he saw him trying to bed down on folded cardboard in a city doorway. "But I'm glad it doesn't snow here."
David nodded and sat quietly for a minute before saying, "I went to Carols by Candle Light once when I was little. My dad put me on his shoulders and I looked around to see a whole sea of flicking candles." A smile spread across his lips and his eyes seemed to reflect those little flames. "But the thing I remember the most was being taken into Melbourne after to see Myer's windows. I squeezed through the people and stood in front of the glass with all the other kids fascinated by the storybook scenes." David gave a laugh and continued. "I remember staring at one window for so long my mum finally coaxed me away with the reminder that we hadn't put out the carrots for Santa's reindeers. But that window is still so clear to me with its grumpy Christmas pudding scowling at everyone."
John raised an eyebrow. "A grumpy Christmas pudding huh?"
David laughed at John's confusion. "It was from an Aussie kid's book where no matter how much of the pudding you ate there was always just as much as when you started so you were never hungry. He was a bad tempered old pudding that stood on long skinny legs and waved his stick-like arms at us while a koala in a waistcoat looked on and laughed. It was such a strange image that I couldn't take my eyes off it."
"An endless supply of Christmas pudding sounds pretty good, but I'm not so sure about it having a face," John mused and leaned forward to set the beer on the coffee table. "I think I've walked past the windows, but never seemed to have time to stop and look at them."
"You need to see them," David said with real conviction. "Christmas Eve there were always so many kids in their pyjamas pressed up against the glass. I took Adam every year until it became 'uncool'."
"Heaven forbid he be seen doing kid things with his dad?" John asked and reached out to encircled David's shoulders and pulled him close.
David nodded and muttered, "Loved it as a kid though."
John's thumb circled in a slow caress over David's arm. "Did he press up against the glass or ride your shoulders?"
A small nostalgic smile crossed David's lips as he said, "Always on my shoulders. I knew the windows he liked best because he would tug on my hair in excitement."
The hum of the air conditioner was the only sound in the room as they sat together lost in their own memories until David laughed and said, "Midnight."
John frowned. "Pardon?"
"It was the big thing with Adam," David explained still smiling. "We promised he could stay up until Christmas if he went straight to sleep as soon as we got home. So midnight was the target and it seemed like every five minutes he'd be asking what the time was until the countdown of the last minute began. He struggled towards the end and fell asleep in the car on the way home."
"It will be a good memory for him," John said softly and turned his face to place a kiss on David's hair. "Maybe you should call and talk to him about it?" It was just a suggestion, but John knew it had been a while since David had spoken to his son and the longer he left it the harder it would be.
"Maybe." It was a single word spoken so quietly that John knew David was struggling again.
Carols by Candlelight
The Magic Pudding
Myer Windows
Eleven days...
John leaned against the counter and watched as Jamie bustled around with the afternoon intake of mothers and children. Each one needed to see the tree and cut a paper snowflake to hang from the strings criss-crossing the store to flutter in the breeze of the air-conditioner. Christmas in Australia always seemed slightly wrong to John. Sweltering in the height of summer while spraying fake snow on your window never made much sense; yet there was the tree adorned with its traditional trappings and the growing collection Christmas cards depicting roaring fireplaces and happy children waving from horse drawn sleighs. "We're all bloody mad," he muttered trying to scowl, but his smile got in the way.
"He loves all this stuff," David said quietly at John's side.
John hadn't realised he'd been caught watching Jamie's antics and chuckled, "He loves anything that gets him out of real work."
David knew John was putting on his grumpy boss persona and actually adored the young man currently stretching a new piece of string across the window.
"Is today's calendar page ready?" John asked turning to David.
"Uh huh," David mumbled and leaned over the counter to pull out the large piece of card, but wouldn't let John open the shutters when he tried to reach for it. "I think Jamie would like to do it with the kids," he said apologetically.
John smiled and stroked his hand down David's arm. "You're right. We'll enjoy that too. Why don't you go and give it to him while he has all those rugrats in tow?"
With a quiet 'sure' David made his way through the children hanging their snowflakes and stood patiently until Jamie spotted the card. "Davey!" he exclaimed and grabbed his sleeve to drag him over.
"Hey guys," Jamie said happily to both mums and kids. "David has our next window ready."
~*~
Jamie stood and looked at the vacuum cleaner. "You know, if we don't clean up the paper clippings it would look like snow after a few days," he suggested hopefully.
"Not a chance," John said as he walked past to lock the front door. "But it was definitely a good try Jamie."
David gave a quiet giggle and lifted one of the displays in. Jamie got as far as plugging in the vacuum then wandered over to David. "I liked your picture today," he said and pulled himself up to sit on the counter and looked across to the patch of wall that displayed a scene from Wind in the Willows. "Why did you choose that particular part though? Usually it's all Mr Toad in his car with goggles over his bug eyes and scarf flying behind him."
David glanced up at the image of Badger's den bathed in the warm red glow of the fireplace. Badger was deep in conversation with Ratty and Mole was curled up asleep in an armchair with his head lying comfortably on the armrest. When he gave a shrug Jamie leaned forward arms resting on his knees and mused, "Bit like us I guess. John would have to be grumpy old Badger."
"Don't tell him that," David said, but was enjoying the image of John in a quilted smoking jacket glowering at them over tiny round reading glasses.
Jamie grinned and pointed to the sleeping figure in the armchair. "So you would be Mole?"
"Yeah I guess," David said quietly thinking back to when his mum used to read him tales of the riverbank before he fell asleep. "I remember Mole left his little hole to look for adventure, but he wasn't all that brave."
"And found a whole new family of friends," Jamie added quickly. "I always wanted to be Mr Toad off on wild adventures without a care in the world, but it never quite happened that way."
"Doesn't mean it won't happen," David suggested.
"I'm not that brave," he admitted saying out loud something he'd been thinking for a long time.
The admission surprised David; that was not something he'd even considered about Jamie. "What makes you think you're not brave?"
With a sigh and shrug Jamie glanced around the bookstore that had been his home for most of his life. "This is all I know. Never really had a reason to look elsewhere I guess."
There was an undercurrent to the words that David felt rather than heard and he moved enough to be in Jamie's line of vision again. "One day you'll find that reason," he said with a hint of a smile.
Jamie could never resist smiling back. "Maybe I will, but not yet," he said while pulling a disgusted face. "But not before I finish vacuuming the floor."
~*~
Ten days...
"I'll never get used to this heat," John groaned as he stood in front of the air-conditioner with his shirt lifted to expose his belly to the chilled air. "How can you even consider Christmas in these temperatures?"
David leaned back on the couch and grinned. "I thought you'd be used to it by now."
But John just turned and gave David a look that made him laugh. "Oh that's right," David quipped still chuckling. "You lived the rarified life of an executive; air-conditioned office, air-conditioned car and home to an air-conditioned apartment. Did you ever breathe real air?"
With a mock growl John stalked over to the couch and flopped down. "Maybe I should just sit here and sweat all over you?"
"Poor John," David giggled and reached out to touch his hand before standing up. "I'll get you a cold drink."
"Thanks," John muttered and watched David head for the kitchen. It never grew old hearing David laugh. He sighed and closed his eyes as the cold air became almost icy against his sweat dampened skin.
"Christmas was always a time for wellington boots, woolly socks and hand knitted mittens, not barbeques and sweltering at the beach."
David smiled because it was all too easy to imagine John in those mittens. "Tell me about when you were little," he asked quietly while pouring a single cold beer.
"I remember waking up one morning and looking out the window at the house across the road," John smiled at the memory opening his eyes briefly when David placed his beer on the coffee table. "The roof was all white. It was the first snow of winter just before Christmas." He sat forward, picked up the frosty glass and took an appreciative sip. "My mam was still alive then so I was pretty young but I still managed to force the window up a fraction... just enough to get my hands out. I ran my fingers through the snow on the windowsill feeling it slip between them until they were completely numb." John's fingers followed the trail of condensation down his glass then passed it to David. "At the time I found it really funny and I was still laughing when I ran down the stairs and out the back door. It wasn't so funny when my mam found me out there barefoot and in my pyjamas. I ended up with a sore backside and in a hot bath." He looked at David and thought about the night he saw him trying to bed down on folded cardboard in a city doorway. "But I'm glad it doesn't snow here."
David nodded and sat quietly for a minute before saying, "I went to Carols by Candle Light once when I was little. My dad put me on his shoulders and I looked around to see a whole sea of flicking candles." A smile spread across his lips and his eyes seemed to reflect those little flames. "But the thing I remember the most was being taken into Melbourne after to see Myer's windows. I squeezed through the people and stood in front of the glass with all the other kids fascinated by the storybook scenes." David gave a laugh and continued. "I remember staring at one window for so long my mum finally coaxed me away with the reminder that we hadn't put out the carrots for Santa's reindeers. But that window is still so clear to me with its grumpy Christmas pudding scowling at everyone."
John raised an eyebrow. "A grumpy Christmas pudding huh?"
David laughed at John's confusion. "It was from an Aussie kid's book where no matter how much of the pudding you ate there was always just as much as when you started so you were never hungry. He was a bad tempered old pudding that stood on long skinny legs and waved his stick-like arms at us while a koala in a waistcoat looked on and laughed. It was such a strange image that I couldn't take my eyes off it."
"An endless supply of Christmas pudding sounds pretty good, but I'm not so sure about it having a face," John mused and leaned forward to set the beer on the coffee table. "I think I've walked past the windows, but never seemed to have time to stop and look at them."
"You need to see them," David said with real conviction. "Christmas Eve there were always so many kids in their pyjamas pressed up against the glass. I took Adam every year until it became 'uncool'."
"Heaven forbid he be seen doing kid things with his dad?" John asked and reached out to encircled David's shoulders and pulled him close.
David nodded and muttered, "Loved it as a kid though."
John's thumb circled in a slow caress over David's arm. "Did he press up against the glass or ride your shoulders?"
A small nostalgic smile crossed David's lips as he said, "Always on my shoulders. I knew the windows he liked best because he would tug on my hair in excitement."
The hum of the air conditioner was the only sound in the room as they sat together lost in their own memories until David laughed and said, "Midnight."
John frowned. "Pardon?"
"It was the big thing with Adam," David explained still smiling. "We promised he could stay up until Christmas if he went straight to sleep as soon as we got home. So midnight was the target and it seemed like every five minutes he'd be asking what the time was until the countdown of the last minute began. He struggled towards the end and fell asleep in the car on the way home."
"It will be a good memory for him," John said softly and turned his face to place a kiss on David's hair. "Maybe you should call and talk to him about it?" It was just a suggestion, but John knew it had been a while since David had spoken to his son and the longer he left it the harder it would be.
"Maybe." It was a single word spoken so quietly that John knew David was struggling again.
Carols by Candlelight
The Magic Pudding
Myer Windows
December 14, 2010
A Margins Christmas Tale
Christmas is on the way and I thought it might be fun to revisit the characters of A Note in the Margin. So here is part 1 of a little sequel.
It is written a bit like an advent calendar and I will post a new part every couple of days. I hope you enjoy meeting up with David, John and Jamie again and if you haven't met them before the novel A Note in the Margin can be bought here through the wonderful people at Dreamspinner Press.
Walking up to the door of his apartment felt different these days. In the past it was simply somewhere to dump his brief case before heading out to a business dinner or a bar. But sliding his key into the lock was accompanied by an anticipation he never felt before; he was coming home.
The living room was quiet. John closed the door, but didn't continue into the room; instead he just stood and smiled. David was stretched along the couch, one arm under his head and the other bent so his curled fingers rested near his lips. His light breath shifted to a soft snore fluttering the strands of dark blond hair that had fallen over his face.
It still amazed John how the simple sight of David asleep on the couch could set butterflies rampaging through his belly. That he loved the man there was no doubt, but the intensity of his love always caught him off guard. A whole world away from his disgust at the filthy homeless man he'd found huddled in the old chair at the back of the book store. I'll never let you go back to that Dave, he thought. I need you just as much as you need me.
David stirred slightly and gave a soft murmur. John's smile broadened and he walked quietly to the end of the couch to give David's bare toe a little tug. "I'm putting the kettle on for a cup of tea; you want one?"
With a grunted stretch David shook his head. "I'm okay, but you get one."
John nodded and walked into the kitchen. David had been quiet all day; sorting shelves and keeping to himself. It was a pattern John had become used to over the past year and he'd gradually grown to accept it as a coping mechanism rather than something to worry about. It was clear that David had something on his mind and he had to leave him to sort it out; John knew he'd find out what it was when and only when David was ready to tell him.
With his mug of tea in hand John wandered back to the couch. "Lift your feet up," he said and sat down pulling David's feet onto his lap careful not to spill his tea. "You sure you don't want some?"
"I'm sure," David answered softly.
They sat together neither needing to talk while John sipped at the hot drink. The first cup when you got home was always the best and John let out a satisfied sigh. "It's good to be home."
David smiled and nodded understanding the truth in the words.
John looked at him and waited. David would say it soon because the tension of earlier in the day was gone from his eyes.
"I've been thinking about Christmas," David stated.
John blinked; that was not a topic he'd expected. "Okay," he said slowly and leaned forward to put his mug on the coffee table. "Thinking about Christmas past or present?"
"Both I guess," David said thoughtfully. "Jamie said he was going to hunt out the decorations for the store and we could put them up tomorrow because according to him it will be twelve days before Christmas so it's time."
John chuckled at Jamie's adherence to traditions. "I suggested we put them up earlier and he wouldn't hear of it. 'We're not one of those stores,' I think he said only with a lot more colorful wording." John wrapped his hands around David's feet absently massaging the soles as he spoke. "For such a young guy our Jamie is very set in his ways. Bit of an old woman at times."
"He was telling me about some of the Christmases he had when he was little and it started me thinking," David said in a tone that John couldn't quite read.
"About when you were with Adam?" John proceeded cautiously. David's relationship with his son was improving and they'd met a few times over the past months, but David still found it difficult to open up either with him or about him.
David shrugged. "Yeah, then and some other times."
Christmas was one of those difficult times for a lot of people and John knew David had spent a few on the streets. He leaned forward to grab his mug and lifted it to his lips mainly to stop himself asking more questions. In his own time... don't push. John then offered the mug to David who pulled himself a little higher against the armrest and took a mouthful.
"Not enough sugar," David grimaced almost playfully and passed the mug back.
"So are you going to help the Christmas Elf put up the tree tomorrow?" John grinned and kicked off his shoes to slide his legs along the couch next to David.
"Think I have any option?" David chuckled and dragged off one of John's socks.
"Nope; you'll be decking the halls all day if Jamie has his way," John said and waggled his toes.
"He means well John," David said as he rubbed his palm over the sole of John's foot.
"He does, but I just wish he wasn't so damn energetic all the time." John gave a tired yet contented sigh. "Mmm that feels good. Want to do the other foot too?"
David grinned and pulled off the other sock.
"What about in here?" John asked then added when he saw David's confusion. "Do you want to decorate in here? You know, make it a bit more Christmassy?"
After a brief look around the room David said, "Margins is home too so it'll be enough to have it all down there."
John laughed, "Thank God for that. I had visions of Jamie giving us orders while we dragged a tree up those stairs."
"We always had a real tree," David said relaxing back down on the couch. "The smell would permeate the whole house... that and eggnog."
"Eggnog?" John's face was one of total disgust. "Now in our house Grandad would always pull out the good bottle of whisky for visitors. Now that's a smell that brings back Christmas. Oh and Gran's cake was so dark with fruit and nuts that the fondant icing looked just like a fresh snowfall."
They sat together on the couch for almost an hour reminiscing and talking about nothing in particular; each enjoying the quiet intimacy of the other's gentle touch.
Twelve days...
"That is going to make such a mess," John grumbled, but shot David a wink.
Jamie scowled from the base of the fir tree. "Don't tell me you want one of those store bought monstrosities." He then proceeded to make a series of disgusted noises and flounced to the back of the store only to return with a huge cardboard box labelled in thick black marker 'Margin's Xmas'. The top flaps wafted dust when Jamie pulled them open, but inside was a myriad of colour. Jamie's smile lit his face as he lifted out a box of delicate fairy lights.
"How about you help me with these Davey while Scrooge gets back to his books?" Jamie chuckled, but made sure he was out of John's reach.
Together they wrapped the tree in loops of coloured lights after having checked each tiny globe in turn. Thick red and gold tinsel followed and they stood back to take in their handy work before lifting out what looked like a hat box.
"Mum left these with me for Margins," Jamie explained as he removed the lid. "Every year we bought three new ornaments. We each picked our own; mum, dad and me." His finger closed over a blown glass snowman. Even in Jamie's slender fingers the snowman looked fragile. He held it up to the light and said, "I bought this one for my dad the first Christmas after he died."
David smiled and sat on the floor next to Jamie. "It's beautiful," he said quietly. "Do you still buy his ornament?"
"Every year," Jamie murmured and looked at David knowing his friend would understand. "I haven't bought this year's yet because they don't go up on the tree until Christmas Eve after we close up and lock the door for the holidays."
"Our tree was never that fancy," David said and picked up a sliver of tinsel that had escaped the length. "It was all paper chains, macaroni angels and origami cranes. One of my brothers used to always end up sticking his fingers together." He gave a small slightly sad laugh. "It's funny the things you remember at this time of the year."
"Yeah," Jamie smiled and nodded. It wasn't often that David opened up so Jamie always felt like he was privy to something special when he did. "Did he do that on purpose? Sticking his fingers I mean, cos I used to do stuff like that just to see what would happen."
David's smile broadened as he said, "I can imagine you doing that, but no he didn't mean to do it." A memory flitted past and David started to giggle. "One time I attacked him with the glitter and he was peeling dried glue and glitter off his hands for days."
"Where's he now?" Jamie asked then instantly regretted it when the smile slipped from David's lips.
David moved a few of the ornaments in the box and watched as they glinted in the morning sun; red, gold and green. Finally he gave a small shake of his head and looked up. "I don't know. We drifted apart years ago and then I... well I kind of just drifted away."
"Not totally away," Jamie corrected gently and reached out to stroke his fingers through David's hair.
"Not totally," David smiled accepting the touch. Life on the streets left its mark and it had taken a long time for David to allow himself to be touched again. Those early days in the bookstore long before John leased it from Jamie's mother tested his ability to regain some trust. Maggie gave him the room he needed to feel safe and Jamie offered him humanity. The flinches caused by the simple brush of finger tips on his arm gradually receded and after months David risked a smile when Jamie rubbed his back or pushed the strands of matted hair away from his face.
"After we decorate the tree we might hit John up for a new wreath for the door what do you think?" Jamie asked and leaned in as if they were planning some conspiracy. "Maybe even some lights for the window?"
David chuckled and shook his head. "Don't push your luck." He glanced over his shoulder to where John was chatting to a pretty young mother while he tackled tying a bow around a newly purchased book. John looked up and their eyes met briefly before the ribbon slipped through his fingers and forced his attention back to the parcel. David watched him for a moment longer until he heard Jamie laugh, "I think you should offer to take over the wrapping duties."
"I could do that," David agreed then held up his hand. "Hold on, I just remembered I made you something, but we'd better get the tree done first."
"Don't you bloody dare," Jamie said quickly and stood up looking around as if whatever David made would magically appear. "What did you make? Where is it?"
David smiled and gave a theatrical sigh before holding his hand out for Jamie to help him up. "It's in the kitchen." He was about to suggest they head there, but Jamie was already half way across the store dragging David behind him.
On table was a large piece of brightly decorated cardboard. The border of green holly leaves and scarlet berries surrounded what looked like the shutters of an old fashioned window. Jamie reached out to touch a holly leaf then gave David a quizzical look.
"It's twelve days until Christmas remember," David explained quietly and turned the card around to face them. "This is day one, or maybe day 12 if we count backwards, of an advent calendar I'm making."
Jamie carefully opened the window shutters and saw a delicate pencil rendering of a Christmas tree.
"You told me that you always put the tree up twelve days before Christmas so I thought it would be a good place to start," he shrugged and looked through the open door into the store; even though he was comfortable with Jamie David still struggled when the attention was focused on him. "I'll try to have one done every day until Christmas for you to open when the kids come in."
Jamie's fingertip traced the looping pencil strokes depicting strings of fairy lights pausing at the fine detail of each tiny point of light. He always had something to say about everything, but the simple gesture found Jamie lost for words. Turning to David he reached out and fisted the cloth of David's t-shirt pulling him into a tight hug. David returned the embrace even though he didn't understand what caused Jamie's response. "What's wrong Jamie?" he said softly, worried he had somehow done the wrong thing.
"I was scared of Christmas this year," Jamie replied.
David frowned; he'd never known Jamie to be scared of anything. His hand crept up to rest on Jamie's back and he whispered, "Why were you scared?"
Jamie eased away and sighed. "Not scared exactly," he tried to explain. "But this is my first Christmas on my own and I'm not sure how to do it."
That was something David understood. "You're not on your own though Jamie," he said gently and held his friend a little tighter.
"Yeah," Jamie said and straightened up with a small smile. "Yeah I guess not." He pulled out a chair and sat at the table his finger touching each individual point of the star adorning the Christmas tree. "Maybe it's more the thought of... I dunno?"
"The thought of what Jamie?" David asked and sat beside him.
Jamie gave a slightly embarrassed laugh and shook his head. "The thought of growing up I think." He rolled his eyes and laughed again. "I know I'm already 'grown up' but this is my first reminder that I'm kinda on my own. Dumb I know."
"Not dumb." Not dumb at all. David knew all too well how it felt to face things on his own; or not face them for so long. "Growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be."
Jamie looked at David and his smile broadened. "I knew you'd get it. You always understand my rambles."
"Well you never stop bloody talking," John grumbled as he walked into the kitchen empty mug in hand, but gave David a wink to show he was joking. "I was starting wonder where you two had got to."
"Checking out what Davey made for the store," Jamie replied after taking a breath.
John leaned over them and looked at the picture carefully closing and opening the cardboard shutters. "He was working on that last night. It turned out really well. So where're you going to stick it?"
Jamie glanced through the door and into the store. "I thought on the wall near the tree. At kid height."
"Kid height?" John chuckled and turned away to make a drink. "That's if the tree ever gets finished of course."
"Always the boss," Jamie groaned good naturedly and stood up. "Come on Davey before Scrooge cuts our pay."
~*~
"That was a nice thing you did for Jamie today," John muttered quietly and stretched his arm across the bed to encourage David a little closer. "I think he's doing it tough this year."
David shuffled over and turned on his side to rest his hand on John's chest fingers moving slowing over the warm skin. "He talked about it a bit today," David confided. "He misses Maggie."
"Hell I think I miss Maggie," John said and grinned. "But I do understand how it'll be strange for him this year. His whole world has changed, bit like mine, although I have you to help me with that."
"Mutual," David murmured.
"True though," John said while sliding his hand to the back of David's neck. "Who would have thought the quiet man with his life stuffed into a backpack could turn my world upside down?"
It is written a bit like an advent calendar and I will post a new part every couple of days. I hope you enjoy meeting up with David, John and Jamie again and if you haven't met them before the novel A Note in the Margin can be bought here through the wonderful people at Dreamspinner Press.
Walking up to the door of his apartment felt different these days. In the past it was simply somewhere to dump his brief case before heading out to a business dinner or a bar. But sliding his key into the lock was accompanied by an anticipation he never felt before; he was coming home.
The living room was quiet. John closed the door, but didn't continue into the room; instead he just stood and smiled. David was stretched along the couch, one arm under his head and the other bent so his curled fingers rested near his lips. His light breath shifted to a soft snore fluttering the strands of dark blond hair that had fallen over his face.
It still amazed John how the simple sight of David asleep on the couch could set butterflies rampaging through his belly. That he loved the man there was no doubt, but the intensity of his love always caught him off guard. A whole world away from his disgust at the filthy homeless man he'd found huddled in the old chair at the back of the book store. I'll never let you go back to that Dave, he thought. I need you just as much as you need me.
David stirred slightly and gave a soft murmur. John's smile broadened and he walked quietly to the end of the couch to give David's bare toe a little tug. "I'm putting the kettle on for a cup of tea; you want one?"
With a grunted stretch David shook his head. "I'm okay, but you get one."
John nodded and walked into the kitchen. David had been quiet all day; sorting shelves and keeping to himself. It was a pattern John had become used to over the past year and he'd gradually grown to accept it as a coping mechanism rather than something to worry about. It was clear that David had something on his mind and he had to leave him to sort it out; John knew he'd find out what it was when and only when David was ready to tell him.
With his mug of tea in hand John wandered back to the couch. "Lift your feet up," he said and sat down pulling David's feet onto his lap careful not to spill his tea. "You sure you don't want some?"
"I'm sure," David answered softly.
They sat together neither needing to talk while John sipped at the hot drink. The first cup when you got home was always the best and John let out a satisfied sigh. "It's good to be home."
David smiled and nodded understanding the truth in the words.
John looked at him and waited. David would say it soon because the tension of earlier in the day was gone from his eyes.
"I've been thinking about Christmas," David stated.
John blinked; that was not a topic he'd expected. "Okay," he said slowly and leaned forward to put his mug on the coffee table. "Thinking about Christmas past or present?"
"Both I guess," David said thoughtfully. "Jamie said he was going to hunt out the decorations for the store and we could put them up tomorrow because according to him it will be twelve days before Christmas so it's time."
John chuckled at Jamie's adherence to traditions. "I suggested we put them up earlier and he wouldn't hear of it. 'We're not one of those stores,' I think he said only with a lot more colorful wording." John wrapped his hands around David's feet absently massaging the soles as he spoke. "For such a young guy our Jamie is very set in his ways. Bit of an old woman at times."
"He was telling me about some of the Christmases he had when he was little and it started me thinking," David said in a tone that John couldn't quite read.
"About when you were with Adam?" John proceeded cautiously. David's relationship with his son was improving and they'd met a few times over the past months, but David still found it difficult to open up either with him or about him.
David shrugged. "Yeah, then and some other times."
Christmas was one of those difficult times for a lot of people and John knew David had spent a few on the streets. He leaned forward to grab his mug and lifted it to his lips mainly to stop himself asking more questions. In his own time... don't push. John then offered the mug to David who pulled himself a little higher against the armrest and took a mouthful.
"Not enough sugar," David grimaced almost playfully and passed the mug back.
"So are you going to help the Christmas Elf put up the tree tomorrow?" John grinned and kicked off his shoes to slide his legs along the couch next to David.
"Think I have any option?" David chuckled and dragged off one of John's socks.
"Nope; you'll be decking the halls all day if Jamie has his way," John said and waggled his toes.
"He means well John," David said as he rubbed his palm over the sole of John's foot.
"He does, but I just wish he wasn't so damn energetic all the time." John gave a tired yet contented sigh. "Mmm that feels good. Want to do the other foot too?"
David grinned and pulled off the other sock.
"What about in here?" John asked then added when he saw David's confusion. "Do you want to decorate in here? You know, make it a bit more Christmassy?"
After a brief look around the room David said, "Margins is home too so it'll be enough to have it all down there."
John laughed, "Thank God for that. I had visions of Jamie giving us orders while we dragged a tree up those stairs."
"We always had a real tree," David said relaxing back down on the couch. "The smell would permeate the whole house... that and eggnog."
"Eggnog?" John's face was one of total disgust. "Now in our house Grandad would always pull out the good bottle of whisky for visitors. Now that's a smell that brings back Christmas. Oh and Gran's cake was so dark with fruit and nuts that the fondant icing looked just like a fresh snowfall."
They sat together on the couch for almost an hour reminiscing and talking about nothing in particular; each enjoying the quiet intimacy of the other's gentle touch.
Twelve days...
"That is going to make such a mess," John grumbled, but shot David a wink.
Jamie scowled from the base of the fir tree. "Don't tell me you want one of those store bought monstrosities." He then proceeded to make a series of disgusted noises and flounced to the back of the store only to return with a huge cardboard box labelled in thick black marker 'Margin's Xmas'. The top flaps wafted dust when Jamie pulled them open, but inside was a myriad of colour. Jamie's smile lit his face as he lifted out a box of delicate fairy lights.
"How about you help me with these Davey while Scrooge gets back to his books?" Jamie chuckled, but made sure he was out of John's reach.
Together they wrapped the tree in loops of coloured lights after having checked each tiny globe in turn. Thick red and gold tinsel followed and they stood back to take in their handy work before lifting out what looked like a hat box.
"Mum left these with me for Margins," Jamie explained as he removed the lid. "Every year we bought three new ornaments. We each picked our own; mum, dad and me." His finger closed over a blown glass snowman. Even in Jamie's slender fingers the snowman looked fragile. He held it up to the light and said, "I bought this one for my dad the first Christmas after he died."
David smiled and sat on the floor next to Jamie. "It's beautiful," he said quietly. "Do you still buy his ornament?"
"Every year," Jamie murmured and looked at David knowing his friend would understand. "I haven't bought this year's yet because they don't go up on the tree until Christmas Eve after we close up and lock the door for the holidays."
"Our tree was never that fancy," David said and picked up a sliver of tinsel that had escaped the length. "It was all paper chains, macaroni angels and origami cranes. One of my brothers used to always end up sticking his fingers together." He gave a small slightly sad laugh. "It's funny the things you remember at this time of the year."
"Yeah," Jamie smiled and nodded. It wasn't often that David opened up so Jamie always felt like he was privy to something special when he did. "Did he do that on purpose? Sticking his fingers I mean, cos I used to do stuff like that just to see what would happen."
David's smile broadened as he said, "I can imagine you doing that, but no he didn't mean to do it." A memory flitted past and David started to giggle. "One time I attacked him with the glitter and he was peeling dried glue and glitter off his hands for days."
"Where's he now?" Jamie asked then instantly regretted it when the smile slipped from David's lips.
David moved a few of the ornaments in the box and watched as they glinted in the morning sun; red, gold and green. Finally he gave a small shake of his head and looked up. "I don't know. We drifted apart years ago and then I... well I kind of just drifted away."
"Not totally away," Jamie corrected gently and reached out to stroke his fingers through David's hair.
"Not totally," David smiled accepting the touch. Life on the streets left its mark and it had taken a long time for David to allow himself to be touched again. Those early days in the bookstore long before John leased it from Jamie's mother tested his ability to regain some trust. Maggie gave him the room he needed to feel safe and Jamie offered him humanity. The flinches caused by the simple brush of finger tips on his arm gradually receded and after months David risked a smile when Jamie rubbed his back or pushed the strands of matted hair away from his face.
"After we decorate the tree we might hit John up for a new wreath for the door what do you think?" Jamie asked and leaned in as if they were planning some conspiracy. "Maybe even some lights for the window?"
David chuckled and shook his head. "Don't push your luck." He glanced over his shoulder to where John was chatting to a pretty young mother while he tackled tying a bow around a newly purchased book. John looked up and their eyes met briefly before the ribbon slipped through his fingers and forced his attention back to the parcel. David watched him for a moment longer until he heard Jamie laugh, "I think you should offer to take over the wrapping duties."
"I could do that," David agreed then held up his hand. "Hold on, I just remembered I made you something, but we'd better get the tree done first."
"Don't you bloody dare," Jamie said quickly and stood up looking around as if whatever David made would magically appear. "What did you make? Where is it?"
David smiled and gave a theatrical sigh before holding his hand out for Jamie to help him up. "It's in the kitchen." He was about to suggest they head there, but Jamie was already half way across the store dragging David behind him.
On table was a large piece of brightly decorated cardboard. The border of green holly leaves and scarlet berries surrounded what looked like the shutters of an old fashioned window. Jamie reached out to touch a holly leaf then gave David a quizzical look.
"It's twelve days until Christmas remember," David explained quietly and turned the card around to face them. "This is day one, or maybe day 12 if we count backwards, of an advent calendar I'm making."
Jamie carefully opened the window shutters and saw a delicate pencil rendering of a Christmas tree.
"You told me that you always put the tree up twelve days before Christmas so I thought it would be a good place to start," he shrugged and looked through the open door into the store; even though he was comfortable with Jamie David still struggled when the attention was focused on him. "I'll try to have one done every day until Christmas for you to open when the kids come in."
Jamie's fingertip traced the looping pencil strokes depicting strings of fairy lights pausing at the fine detail of each tiny point of light. He always had something to say about everything, but the simple gesture found Jamie lost for words. Turning to David he reached out and fisted the cloth of David's t-shirt pulling him into a tight hug. David returned the embrace even though he didn't understand what caused Jamie's response. "What's wrong Jamie?" he said softly, worried he had somehow done the wrong thing.
"I was scared of Christmas this year," Jamie replied.
David frowned; he'd never known Jamie to be scared of anything. His hand crept up to rest on Jamie's back and he whispered, "Why were you scared?"
Jamie eased away and sighed. "Not scared exactly," he tried to explain. "But this is my first Christmas on my own and I'm not sure how to do it."
That was something David understood. "You're not on your own though Jamie," he said gently and held his friend a little tighter.
"Yeah," Jamie said and straightened up with a small smile. "Yeah I guess not." He pulled out a chair and sat at the table his finger touching each individual point of the star adorning the Christmas tree. "Maybe it's more the thought of... I dunno?"
"The thought of what Jamie?" David asked and sat beside him.
Jamie gave a slightly embarrassed laugh and shook his head. "The thought of growing up I think." He rolled his eyes and laughed again. "I know I'm already 'grown up' but this is my first reminder that I'm kinda on my own. Dumb I know."
"Not dumb." Not dumb at all. David knew all too well how it felt to face things on his own; or not face them for so long. "Growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be."
Jamie looked at David and his smile broadened. "I knew you'd get it. You always understand my rambles."
"Well you never stop bloody talking," John grumbled as he walked into the kitchen empty mug in hand, but gave David a wink to show he was joking. "I was starting wonder where you two had got to."
"Checking out what Davey made for the store," Jamie replied after taking a breath.
John leaned over them and looked at the picture carefully closing and opening the cardboard shutters. "He was working on that last night. It turned out really well. So where're you going to stick it?"
Jamie glanced through the door and into the store. "I thought on the wall near the tree. At kid height."
"Kid height?" John chuckled and turned away to make a drink. "That's if the tree ever gets finished of course."
"Always the boss," Jamie groaned good naturedly and stood up. "Come on Davey before Scrooge cuts our pay."
~*~
"That was a nice thing you did for Jamie today," John muttered quietly and stretched his arm across the bed to encourage David a little closer. "I think he's doing it tough this year."
David shuffled over and turned on his side to rest his hand on John's chest fingers moving slowing over the warm skin. "He talked about it a bit today," David confided. "He misses Maggie."
"Hell I think I miss Maggie," John said and grinned. "But I do understand how it'll be strange for him this year. His whole world has changed, bit like mine, although I have you to help me with that."
"Mutual," David murmured.
"True though," John said while sliding his hand to the back of David's neck. "Who would have thought the quiet man with his life stuffed into a backpack could turn my world upside down?"
June 29, 2010
Curious: A Woman's Introduction to Gay Romance
It has been so long since I posted here! I also realised I haven't even posted about my story in Dreamspinner Press's anthology 'Curious'. Can I just say the back of the cover is even prettier than the front! I hope you enjoy this little excerpt from 'Snowman' and might be tempted to read the whole thing.
Curious: A Woman's Introduction to Gay Romance
Snowman by Isabelle Rowan
Everyone finds a way to run away: some do it in seclusion, others in the arms of lovers. Caleb lives a quiet life in the...
Curious: A Woman's Introduction to Gay Romance
Snowman by Isabelle Rowan
Everyone finds a way to run away: some do it in seclusion, others in the arms of lovers. Caleb lives a quiet life in the...
January 25, 2010
Yay!
I am now a card carrying member of the Australian Horror Writers Association!
November 29, 2009
REC awards and my scattered writing
Hi *waves*
Things are getting back on track now i have a new computer and i have a few things in the works ~ now I just need the discipline to settle on one; Jamie's story, a road trip, vikings, Ink novel...
Other news: The Romance Erotica Connection awards have been on and voting ends tomorrow I think. Dreamspinner Press have been nominated for quite a few awards and 'A Note in the Margin' got a nomination too! If you get a chance please drop by and cast a vote! It is at http...
Things are getting back on track now i have a new computer and i have a few things in the works ~ now I just need the discipline to settle on one; Jamie's story, a road trip, vikings, Ink novel...
Other news: The Romance Erotica Connection awards have been on and voting ends tomorrow I think. Dreamspinner Press have been nominated for quite a few awards and 'A Note in the Margin' got a nomination too! If you get a chance please drop by and cast a vote! It is at http...
November 1, 2009
Rainbow Awards - Phase 1 & 2 results
Phase 1 and 2 of The Rainbow Awards are done and I have to thank everyone who participated.
'A Note in the Margin' actually won the popularity section for debut fiction! I am still pretty stunned by that! I came runner up in the contemporary section which means an honorable mention and Margins goes through to the Jury phase.
October 28, 2009
Rainbow Awards
The voting for round two is almost done. I have to thank everyone who has voted so far and supported A Note in the Margin. I think there is still a day to go so here are the links just in case ;)
Contemporary
Debut author
Cover art by the amazing Mara McKennen
